the zurkie show - you think all girls are the same

Episode Date: October 4, 2025

broke my heart oh no she didn't...sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Men aren't lonely, they're hurt. That's the problem. It's not that everyone is looking for somebody. It's that they are not capable of looking for the right people because they have been hurt by the one thing that they're looking for. Have you ever heard the phrase, all girls are the same? It usually happens when somebody posts something talking about a really terrible experience that they've had
Starting point is 00:00:23 with a girl, with a woman. This phrase, I think, encapsulates a lot of what is going on, we are hurting each other. And I don't know if we're doing it knowingly, but I, I, I'm somebody who is a victim to it. And I was somebody who had their emotions manipulated into believing that women were the sole evil of this earth.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Now I'm in a relationship. I've felt the love of someone who cares for me. me. And it's kind of sickening that I ever had this kind of rhetoric in the back of my mind because it was the only thing that made me feel protected or, I don't know, safe. The truth is, all girls are not the same, but we are dangerously treading the line of assuming that everyone is. I believed that women were out to get me, not in the same. Not in the way of my looks but out to harm me because I was harmed very young. And it did not start with my relationship in high school that I deem super traumatic.
Starting point is 00:01:42 It started in my childhood. I had a complicated relationship with my grandmother and there was a lot of manipulation that went on. If you look inward, there's a good chance that if you kind of have complicated relationships in your life now with women, there was some stuff going on in the household. Maybe. I might be wrong about that. I also don't want to assume your story, but I just want you to know that you are not crazy for thinking that you are dealing with terrible women, terrible partners. And on the contrary, if you are a woman, heck, if you are any orientation and you are dealing with terrible people in the dating pool, I just want you to know that we're all playing the same game and we're all seeing the same things. these relationships in my childhood, I didn't think were really going to have that much of an impact on me. I still, you know, liked girls. It wasn't like, you know, that was a problem.
Starting point is 00:02:44 But the problems came in the way that I sought out partners. Because I had no understanding of what healthy relationships looked like. So everything that I was looking for was comfortable. But it manifested itself in the way that I was picking the people in my life. life that I wanted to be intimate with. I wasn't looking for people who were healthy, who were ambitious, who loved me. I was looking for people who felt comfortable, who also knew how to manipulate me the way that I had been manipulated and had been gaslit into thinking was normal.
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Starting point is 00:05:01 I needed the chase. I needed the emotional cutoff when I did something wrong, the punishment. And then it started. The spiral started. Because after you go through a relationship like that, you slowly begin to, I don't know, look for the same things. You just don't think it's the right person.
Starting point is 00:05:28 But you think the traits are correct. you think that you're not doing anything wrong, you know, it's them. But in reality, this whole time, I was getting the same girls. All girls were the same for me. Because I took no accountability for the way in which I was choosing people. And the more hurt I got, the more hurt I wanted to be. That's what I thought a relationship was. That's how I, in my mind, thought that I was going to learn was just by being more hurt.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I need to go through terrible things in order to realize who I am and have my morals and earn the right to be with somebody good. It never worked. What it did instead is it made me look for rhetoric that supported the way I felt, not the way that intuitively I knew I needed to live my life. It made me look for other people around me or on here that were hurt. And listen to them spew hatred. It's hatred. And listen, unfortunately in this world, there are people who don't have good intentions. There are people that if you date them, they are going to take advantage of you and they will destroy you.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I wish there was another way to put it, but they will. and you have to be careful, but not all girls are the same. This is just not true. Rest in peace, juice world, but this is not true. And this is such a blanket statement that I used to just throw all of my accountability out the window because all woman were X, therefore that is the reason I'm not dating. I'm going my own way, what have you. And that also, you know, correlated with the idea that I just was not confident in myself.
Starting point is 00:07:43 I, for the longest, struggled with body image. I still do. Less of a degree. There are things I like about my body. But dang, I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I thought I was fat. And I thought I was ugly and that I didn't have any right to. be with anyone attractive or that there was somebody that was going to love me on this earth. The real kicker for me was when I had a conversation with my mom.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Because I told my mom all girls are the same. When she asked me, why aren't you back out in dating? Like it's been a while, you've had this relationship, you know, I know it didn't go well. But that shouldn't be the thing that deters you from finding something. good or at the very least learning what you don't like and when I started to spew this like hatred that you know all all girls want for me is my money all they want is attention they don't actually want to do any kind of relationship building they're all here to use me and that's that's all that I'm good for to
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Starting point is 00:09:27 From Binge All Episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. My mom like felt hurt. because in a way I had like put her into this pile of hatred I had in my mind
Starting point is 00:09:53 obviously I would never say those things about my mom I love my mom but in the moment that's exactly what I was saying if all girls are the same there are no exceptions and that's why this is so dangerous
Starting point is 00:10:10 because the truth and the reality about life is that everyone is different. Everyone is different. It's nuanced. The way that one person hurt you is not the standard for every person
Starting point is 00:10:29 to treat you. That's one person. It doesn't mean that that can't repeat itself. Of course it can. But a lot of these ideas and these blanket statements and the way that people deflect dating by saying I'm not good looking enough or that, well, why even bother that person is going to hurt me or they're going to find a way to screw me over. It is based in fear.
Starting point is 00:11:01 It is because you have been hurt. And I know this because I was hurt and that's the only way that I could think. How can you trust somebody when they lie to you? when they go into a group chat and start saying things about you behind your back that you don't even know about. How can you trust anyone that's similar to them
Starting point is 00:11:30 or reminds you of them? You can't. At least you don't think you can. But that's where the danger lies. When you immediately tell yourself that that entire gender, that entire group of people, is against me actively, that's where you find yourself falling down the rabbit hole.
Starting point is 00:11:56 And every piece of media and anything that is said backs up that statement. It's not your fault. I'm not sitting here and telling you that you're stupid for believing that you are not. Because in the frame of reference that you have, in the perspective of what you live through, of course. of course I was there I was there but when my mom kind of
Starting point is 00:12:31 asked me do you believe that I got with your father because he had all the money in the world because all I wanted to do was drain him of everything
Starting point is 00:12:50 that he had and divorce him the answer was obviously no they were an example of true love. I'm blessed to have that. I don't think a lot of us are. But it doesn't mean that we should try to replicate things that don't work. I don't think that's the answer either.
Starting point is 00:13:20 If you've been hurt in a relationship recently and that person was a girl and you're starting to listen to that Juice World song, you should listen to it. It's fire. I love this song so much. But also, you got to separate the person from the group. It was the person that hurt you. It was the person that called you ugly.
Starting point is 00:13:46 It was the person that went against everything that you were trying to show them. It's the person that didn't laugh at your funny niche meme references. It's the person that made you doubt how goaded of a person you are. it was the person it wasn't the fact that they were a girl it wasn't the fact that they were a boy and the truth of the matter is we just need to
Starting point is 00:14:16 build better people we need to raise better people we need to take accountability for the way that we interact with other people it starts with us I know that that's like oh it's such a it's such a cop out for everything
Starting point is 00:14:36 it starts with you. I'm alone in my apartment on a Saturday. I want to have somebody to hold my hand so we can watch something. You think it's us versus them. Men versus women. But really what it is is people who want love
Starting point is 00:14:54 and people who want to destroy it. That's what it is. Don't let the people who want to destroy love win. And no, not all women want to destroy love. there are a lot that want to be loved there are a lot of people period doesn't matter men woman whatever
Starting point is 00:15:18 that just want to be appreciated and seen and by thinking all girls are the same and that you know what all of them have the same interests and all of them just want Kendra Scott necklace and all of them eat hot chip and lie in the words of the wise philosopher DJ Khalid
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Starting point is 00:16:09 Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. I have a theory that the more that we push these blanket statements, the more lonely people will get. I've experienced it. I've gone against it. And when I actually accepted the fact that, wait a minute, hold on, wrist it, rewind, I'm picking these people. I'm picking to be miserable.
Starting point is 00:16:43 I'm picking to not put myself out there. I'm picking to tell myself that going to this event is useless. I'm not going to this macho rave. I'm not going to meet anyone. It's a choice that suddenly my prospects of a good life, let alone dating a good life, opened up. At the end of the day, I think that's what a lot of us want. And a good life, in my opinion, maybe you agree.
Starting point is 00:17:18 doesn't come from loneliness. Because if right now you are alone, can you confidently tell yourself, yeah, I want to live like this forever? I don't think you can. You have an option. And for a long time, I think men online have been given an option.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Red pill or blue pill? Black or white? When the reality is, if you decide, to look at your life, black and white. You will only be able to paint experiences and relationships in that color. But what if there are more colors than black and white? What if there are more pills to take? I think it's worth a discussion. I think it's worth a try. If the way that you're living your life right now isn't working for you, what does changing your perspective
Starting point is 00:18:27 on it, changing the way that you look at things, what do you have to lose from it? You're going to spend that time regardless. You may or may not go on those dates regardless. You may or may not approach those relationships. But if it makes you feel content, if there's a chance it will make you happy, if there is a chance that you could find somebody that won't hurt you and that will love you, what do you have to lose except for time that's going to pass anyways? Well, You're going to lose the fact that all girls are the same. I admit it. Another girl got me tripping.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Broke my heart. Oh, yo. She didn't. Sipping. I'm going to drown the hope. Rest in peace, true, swirled, famously, as I said before. All girls are not the same Zirky Show. I'm just here to tell you that.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Did you know that today's episode of The Zirky Show is filmed in beautiful sunny Austin, Texas, the capital of Texas? That is correct. If you're ever in Texas, you should come to Austin. It's a really interesting place. You've got a notification from the Zirky Show, which famously is all over the globe. It's the Zirky Show everywhere. If you want to tell a friend to tap in, tell them to tap in. Do the things that bring you joy.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Just know that you're not alone. You think you are? I thought I was. Take a leap of faith. We need to do more of it. Because we have nothing to lose at the end of the day, except for time. tell that friend in your class that you think they're cool and that you want to hang out outside of school.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Oh, bars! If you're trying something to you, just know that I believe in you. And Zerky Show, as always, I am sending you lots of love. And peace!

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