the zurkie show - you think you have time

Episode Date: December 28, 2025

just because it's "free" doesn't mean it's worth your time.just because you don't "need" to do anything doesn't mean you shouldn't.time is fleeting... do with that what you feel is right.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

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And I think that for a lot of my young life, I treated my free time as disposable garbage. And I flooded my brain with information that didn't matter, with thoughts that weren't even mine. And I preoccupied myself with people and relationships that drained my time that I will never get back. want you to know that in this life nothing is free. Nothing is free. And eventually, you will pay the price. You will pay the price of your decisions. You will pay the price of what you decided to do, who you decided to hang around, what kind of mindset you decided to adopt. You will pay the price because nothing is free. You think that it's worth it to stand in line for a free hoodie at your college because some brand is coming into town.

And that line is two and a half hours. You might tell your friend, yo, I got this hoodie for free. Check it out. But in reality, you sacrificed two and a half of your hours that you will never get back. And the same thing is like,

well, I'm just messing around with the sneaky link. Like it's not that deep, whatever. Okay, maybe. But when you spend six months messing around and it going nowhere and just kind of passing the time, you're going to look back and go,

oh, why did I do that? how do we catch this before it happens? How do we actually fill our life with things that matter and not with just background noise in order to distract ourselves from the fact that we don't know who we are, we don't know what we're doing, and we don't even know if we're going to survive the way that we want to? It's not what's going on right now, right?

It's not that's not the solution. Because right now we're torturing our free time. We're just setting it ablaze. we're thinking, oh, it doesn't matter, I'm young. Like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And listen, I think that there's also this hyper fixation on young people to have everything figured out. And there's almost like, don't fail.

You need to lock in. You need to get the perfect job and perfect opportunity. And I think this is a detriment, too. Wabi-sabi. All right? I'm sure you've heard the term Wabi-Sabi. You need an imperfect life. And an imperfect life.

has intention. It has intention, but it also has failure. It has risk. It has a part of you that is afraid to live it because you know you will be challenged, because you know, I might change the person that I am by my experiences.

But if nothing is free, then maybe this is a valuable use of your time. Maybe taking on that hobby, trying something different, I don't know, even something small. You've been a picky eater your whole life. You go to a restaurant and they have creamed corn. You don't like corn, but you've never had creamed corn. So try it.

Small things. It starts very, very small is how you build your life intentionally. And I think this is such an epidemic amongst young people where we feel like our time does not matter. and so we fill it with things that can distract us from the loneliness, from the sadness, from the fact that we have been pushed into just keeping a safe life because this world is so terrible and this world is so scary. And it is. It is a scary place. It's not the most welcoming environment for some people, absolutely. But that's not going to change unless you do. unless you realize, okay, this is my reality.

I need to live it with what I got. If I have the opportunity to go somewhere for school, I need to take it. If I have the opportunity to date somebody that I really, really like, I need to do it. I can't just think, well, I'll get that opportunity again. It's literally free. Nothing is free. Remember this. Please.

Remember that nothing is free. any kind of commitment that you do, whether that is a job, whether that is a person, whether that is something you have decided for yourself, a goal that you want to go after, you want to get swall, all right? You want to look like Bosch, have that crazy transformation. Nothing is free. It's not going to be easy. It's not going to be something that will be handed to you on a silver platter or you're going to find on the side of the road, right, for free. you need to earn it. And earning it looks very different for us. You have to figure out what it feels like to accomplish something and feel proud of yourself. That's what earning it is about. Not earning it in the

eyes of your peers or somebody you're trying to impress or your parents. You need to figure out what does it look like when you are proud of yourself. What does it feel like? What kind of validation do you need from your own self? What do you need to do to feel like, dang, I've had a good day. I've had a great month. I've had a great year. Wow, I'm so happy with these decisions. Does not mean your life will be perfect. It does not mean that you will have this happy, happy, happy existence. No, you will, you will have moments where you are in the trenches. That is the human experience. No, John Bellion, welcome. welcome. Welcome. But what I can promise you is if you live your life with more intention and you make more decisions

that are aligned with who you want to be or who you are, you will no longer just have free time. Your time will be more valuable. You as a person will feel more value. You will feel like you are doing something right. And for a lot of us, that's all we want. We think that we're failures. at age 21, 22, 23, even at age 18, because the comparison game has gone so strong. And we feel like we're just squandering our youth.

Well, look at the free time you have. I don't think you need to go Uber grind set. I don't think you need to start taking cold showers as a 19 year old. All right. I tried that. And it's good. You know, there's benefits to it. I definitely was awake.

but that wasn't the thing that got me writing, that got me thinking about business ideas, that got me asking out my crush. It was an internal flip of my switch that made me go, this needs to happen now. Because if I don't do it now, if I don't have the urgency of just trying it, I will never know, and I'd rather know that I got rejected or that it didn't work out than to, leave the rest of my life in regret. And well, could have happened, I guess. I don't know. And those kind of things over time, they will sour. They will get worse. It's not like, you know, you're just going to forget about it. If you have things and you have desires that you genuinely want to do and you have people that you genuinely want in your life and you decide, I'm not going

to do it, I'm not good enough, it's not time, you will spend the rest of your life one and your brain will create these fake stories about yourself, about how, well, I was always a loser, or I was always out of their league where I could never have done it. And you will convince yourself lies because you didn't realize that nothing is free. Your attention, attention is not free. It never has been. And I think now than ever, you are realizing that your attention is cooked. I know because mine is. But attention is an energy.

This is something that people don't really like to talk about because it's kind of like, well, it's like, whatever, all of us are going to just like have cooked attention spans anywhere. but if you actively work to reduce how little your attention span is and you try to increase it, it will allow you to consume and experience the world in a way that not a lot of people are anymore. And listen, if you want to do it, it's up to you. I'm not going to judge you either way because, hey, I like having some, you know, some stuff melt my brain once in a while when I need to distract and I need to eat. but I also recognize that when I deliberately listen to an album on vinyl or I deliberately talk to somebody on the phone without having another app open, when I give my full attention to something,

I am able to experience every part of it. I don't feel detached and instead it is more valuable because what a lot of us do is we think, well, our friend calling, like, I can call them whenever, like it's literally, free. Like, who cares? But you don't know if your friend is going to be around forever. What? You don't know. And I know that's a drastic, you know, way of thinking of it, right? But let's just, you know, calm it down a little bit. What if your friend is really in pain? And it's not something that they can tell you. It's something you have to pick up. What if your friend is days away from making a really bad decision?

and you could be the person to just talk them out of it. Wouldn't you want something like that for yourself? Well, for me, I'm very grateful that I've had friends that were able to stop me from doing bad things. From thinking that the world was cooked and that my situation was terrible. And if they had not focused, if they had not just experienced me in full. I don't know if I'd be standing here. And that's not to put pressure on you,

but it's more to tell you that there is so much to this life and this experience that we can't just consume by only hearing it, by only looking at it, by only feeling it. We need to have all of our senses involved in order to have the full picture. people love to put things out of context. For example, let's say that you're hanging out in a friend group, right?

And your partner is not in the friend group, so they're hanging out with their girlies or their bros, you know, separately. And one of their friends just happens to be at the same movie theater that you guys are at. And he walks out beforehand and he catches you and somebody that you shouldn't be with walking out of the theater. They're going to go and tell your partner that they saw you with somebody that should not be named. Obviously, in the whole context of things, you know deep down that that wasn't the case. That wasn't the case at all. You guys were just hanging out and, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what happened. But like there was no malintention. And this is

where it's super, super easy to fall into drama without having context. In the same way, it's super, super easy to make assumptions when you don't have context in experiences, when you do not, you know, have something firsthand and you have all of your senses that interact with it. It's so much easier to be like, well, I should just like work harder. I'm a loser. But it's harder to actually sit with yourself and be like, why don't I want to work hard? What is stopping me from doing it? And instead of just like, you know, getting jacked up off of motivational stuff, you see, you're not making a change. We miss out on so much of the context.

That is going to the gym without headphones. That is experiencing your taste buds without needing something to kind of distract yourself from the slop that you're eating. It is the thing that is not free. That is not easy. That is not something that is easily done. it is just so much easier to distract yourself it is so much easier to think man like I don't need to be intentional it's like it's whatever my life already sucks it's harder to

fight against it and actually give your soul a chance I think people love to get into situations and relationships that they know that are bad for them because part of them you know they think it's good, good lore building. I know that was for me. When I knew something was bad, I was like, well, I'm going to learn from it. And some experiences you're going to have to go through alone, but I just want you to know, like, you wanting to be hurt is not okay. I'm sorry that you feel that way.

I'm sorry that you feel like your time is not valuable enough to be with somebody that is good for you, but you don't deserve to be hurt. That's coming from a self-belief. For me, it was the fact that, like, nobody liked me, and I had to basically just kind of bow down to people that liked me first, especially when I knew, you know, that they were not a good match for me. I just, like, couldn't say no because I was afraid of losing them. But what I, you know, realize now is, although I was like, well, it's like, this is going to be good. It's a free thing. It's something that I can experience.

What isn't free is the amount of... of emotional pain you go through. What isn't free is the amount of, the amount of disrespect you could experience that you don't deserve. What isn't free is the fact that somebody could use you, somebody could use you. And at that point,

it really just makes you question all of your decisions. And it really makes you question why, why experience anything, if just every time you're going to be hurt, every time somebody is going to destroy what you have. And I think that that is the opposite pendulum swing, where you think, like, I am just going to get hurt by every single person that I'm with. So I'm never going to be with anyone. And I don't think that that's a good idea, too, because in the same vein, your free time matters. And you should be out there trying to find somebody, not like being desperate.

Sprit, but putting yourself out there, meeting good people, meeting people with similar values, building on things. It doesn't mean necessarily that you need to find a partner. Maybe the intimacy that you need right now is a good friend. It's somebody that you could go to Alaska with, that you could go on a hike with a sunset with, that you could listen to a Deftones album with in the car and just like chop it up about life. Maybe that's what you need right now. And that is being intentional because friendships are not. not free. And friendships can be very, very beautiful. They can be very, very good. And sometimes it takes realizing, like, nobody's going to come to me first, I need to initiate. I need to be the one that says, hey, what's up? How are you? I love your, your vibe. Maybe not that awkward, but, you know, these things will only happen, these realizations will only pop into your brain if you detach yourself

from the things that are distracting you from your emotions. If you detach yourself from the people that are draining you of life and not in a good way. Okay, sorry, my bad. Let's keep moving. Those things are super important to understand. And it all comes for full circle because the way that you treat your time, your time will treat you in that same way. If you want to squander it, if you want to spend it partying, that's cool.

Just understand what you're getting yourself into. And I think you should party. I think you should have a good time and hang out and see your friends. But I also think you shouldn't neglect things that you want to do just because you're seeking validation from other people. I think you need to be very, very cognizant of that. Because it can be very, very dangerous. I know people that spent a lot of their life,

just partying, hanging out, and now they've got health problems. And the friends that they spent partying with, they got a girlfriend and got married, and they no longer talk. They did things that were, in concept, in theory, free, because they had free time. But the intentionality behind it was lacking.

That was the only thing they did. When in reality, celebration, partying, in my opinion, that should be an addition. It should be a supplement. It shouldn't be the reason you go to a school. It should be something that you get as a reward for studying, for doing your thing, for feeling like you are in control of your circumstances. Go out and party. You got to fight for your right.

to party. You have to. But I also think that partying has become synonymous with like, that's what you're supposed to do. So people just force themselves into just like doing something that they don't even like. And I'm not somebody that's like an anti, you know, part of you by any means too. I just think that you got to, you got to know where you stand. And you have to realize if that's not how you want to spend your free time, then you have to know. that that's a time sink, like going out, doing things, being around people, that it takes time

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View and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. in the same vein you don't need to stay inside all the time because you don't have any friends you can go out and make friends it's not illegal to do that i used to think that that was like a huge problem with me in college i was just like well i i don't know anybody here and like going out and like talking to people you know at the dining hall is weird but it's only weird if you make it weird because at the end of the day everyone else is just kind of living the same experience and if somebody came up to me and wanted to talk to me, there's a great chance that I'd be very welcoming of it. And I'd be like, what's up, man?

What's your name? You know? The final thing I'll say about free is there is something, there's this quote that I absolutely love. And I agree with it to a certain extent. It's the idea that the one thing that's truly free in life is your mindset. You get to program your brain. whichever way you want, and however you want to look at the world, that is the lens you will

craft for yourself, and that is what you will see. I think it's such a bangor quote, but I do think that there is, there's more to it, there's more nuance to just be positive. It's not, it's not that easy. I'm sure you've tried to just be positive, and you've had days where you wanted to rip your entire hair line out of your follicles, right? A mindset, In my opinion, it is free to, of course, be optimistic. It is also free to allow yourself to feel emotions when you need to feel them. It's also free to recognize that sometimes your brain has been pre-programmed with the stress of your parents, with the stress of your friends, with the stress you've seen online, to make you think things.

thoughts that aren't genuinely yours. And it is also free to recognize all these things and just try to act in accordance with what you want. It's free, but it doesn't mean it's easy. It doesn't mean it takes no work. That's another one of those things. Oh, it's free. You can just adopt this mindset tomorrow. No, it takes evidence. It takes fighting with your mind. It takes realizing when you have a trigger to like cave into one of your addictive thought patterns, that you're a loser, and that you will never do anything correctly, and that everybody hates you. It is work. It is. But what I can tell you is the more that you do it, like with anything, you get used to it, and it gets easier. It might not be easy at the beginning, but just because there's work to be done

doesn't mean that you should just give up on it. Because what if you could not, experience the turmoil that you have right now every single day? What if you could actually have a mind that wants to work with you instead of against you all the time and try to sabotage you, make you go to sleep late, make you not eat, not work out because it has this idea that you are just no one's ever going to love you, no one's ever going to appreciate you. I want you to know it's not a what if. It can be done. But nothing is free. And even after watching this and listening to this video, you will realize that it's not something that you will get right away. But it is a seed that you can plant.

It is an understanding and an urgency to recognize the negativity in your own mind, to recognize the negativity in your environment, to recognize who actually is rooting for you and who wants you to stay the same so they can suffer alongside you. Just know, Zerky Show that changes different. It will always be difficult. But you have one life. You have one opportunity to change your mind, to do things differently, to just give it a shot. And if it is free and it is something that you can do today, you can just start on, why would you not?

Because the alternative is you are going to stay the way that you are right now, forever. I promise you that. If you don't have this active decision, you know what? I don't want to be this person anymore. I'm doing something against it. I'm going to find every single way that I could make a change. It won't happen. And you can't just wish for it.

That's not how this works. You have to recognize what is harming you, what is hurting you, what is making you feel the way that you do. And you have to address it. You can't walk sideways and kind of be like, oh, I know what it is. Okay. You know, it's whatever. you have to recognize it and be like no more. We're done.

This trigger that, you know, when I see a couple together and they're holding hands, I think of my ex, we're done. We're done with that. We're on to bigger and better things. This thing where people are like, yo, you should come out with us when I don't want to and I don't say no. It's done. I'm saying no. And I'm going to be uncomfortable. And I'm going to have FOMO.

And I'm going to wish that I was there. And I'm going to have all these things because that is the old part of me that is wanting the normalcy, the, you know, the validation. But that is not somebody I want to be. Nothing is free. But if you decide to focus on you with intention and focus on your life with intention, you will have the most valuable experience you could ever ask for.

Zirky Show. Today's episode of The Zirky Show was filmed in Cripple Creek, Colorado, a beautiful sunset in the mountains. If you're ever in Colorado, come down and check out Cripple Creek. You got a notification. From who? The Zerky Show, which can be streamed, watched, scrolled anywhere you please. If you want to tap in, these are the best ways to tap in.

Do the things that bring you joy. I am so excited for this new year. I've got some crazy little things planned in my noggin for you guys. I cannot wait to have more experiences, to do, more things to meet more of the Zirky Show fam. I hope you guys are thinking about your new year too, thinking about some of the changes you want to implement or things that you want to keep the same. Just know, if you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And as always, Zerky Show, I'm sending you lots of love and peace. Bye.

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