the zurkie show - you're allowed to feel bad

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

don't be too hard on yourself.https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Most people don't even realize that you're suffering. I don't think my family really knows what goes on with me a lot of the time, and I think that that's also my fault. And some of us, listen, we have family members we can't really talk to in that way. You know, I'm grateful to have that, but sometimes it's easier to, like, stay in your own world, stay in your own bubble and not reach out. I used to be that way until it started to really impact my day-to-day, and I couldn't like get out of bed because I was so I was so hard of myself.

I know for a long time I struggled with giving myself permission to start new things or to go out of my comfort zone because I didn't grow up kind of having free permission. I always had to ask people for things. I mean, think of the simple thing. You have to ask your teacher to go to the bathroom, right? You have to, you kind of ask people what's the best? career, what's the best school to go to, what kind of friends should I have around me? Like, we ask for a lot of permission to live our lives because we feel as if without it,

we make a bad decision. But I've come to realize that a lot of decisions are neutral. It's really your perspective on them or it's your perspective on the experiences that you go through, which shape the way in which you view it. And there is nothing wrong with like, feeling bad or like having a bad day where everything goes wrong there's like nothing wrong with that i mean you have the permission to to feel bad about it you can still be objective about the experiences and be like listen i i i walked 30 000 steps yesterday objectively that's pretty cool that's pretty dope i didn't feel good about it in the moment i was sleep deprived you know but the event happened like the experience happened

And now I'm reflecting on it and making my decision about it. But it's like, I guess I've come to think that feeling upset is bad. It's a bad thing. It's a bad emotion. You shouldn't feel that way. And part of, I guess, becoming an adult is realizing that it's just another emotion. Anger is just another emotion. Happiness is an emotion.

It's good. but like I don't feel happy all the time. Like I'm not like just like, grinning, you know. I feel content. But sometimes I don't feel content. And sometimes I feel drained and I feel shelved. And I feel like nobody hears me.

And I think it's where that energy goes. And when you keep kind of getting wound up and it has nowhere to go, of course you're going to take it out on people. Of course you're going to, you know, explode on somebody. Gosh. Really explode on somebody? You have permission. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes.

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You have permission to feel scared. I feel a lot of fear. I feel a lot of fear in not keeping up with what I do because I don't want to lose momentum or I don't want to lose time. But I also recognize that this fear, it doesn't do you any good if you don't. address it in some kind of facet, and you don't kind of stack up some evidence against it. Listen, I was down in the dumps today, right? And I made a comment towards my mom.

I was like, I ruined today. It was 10 a.m. And I said, I ruined today. And I, you know when you say something, you don't really mean it? This was one of those things. I didn't really mean what I was saying. I was just, like, in a little bit of a victim mode, and I was, I spew some really dumb things when I get in this, this cave.

the anger cave. I just, you know, I, I feel dirty, and so I want to, like, keep feeling dirty. I don't know. I don't know. But immediately when I said it, and I was like, I already ruined today. And I looked at the clock and it was 10 a.m. I kind of snapped out of it for a second. And I was, I just thought I was like, it's 10 a.m.

Like, the day's only really begun. And, yeah, like, I got in an argument. and that kind of sucks, but it's not like it's over. Like I could probably find a lot of things good about today, and I could actually probably turn it around. Will it take effort? Yes. And the moment was that effort that I wanted to put in?

No, not at all. It was the last thing I wanted to do. So I went and I took a nap. But it was there. It was that realization. And that was a step in the right direction, because in the past I didn't have that kind of thought process. And that was the first time in a while that I was able to realize that this is just temporary.

Like the way in which I'm thinking, the way in which you feel right now, it's a temporary feeling. And it's not something that has to linger. You're just in the muck of it right now. So obviously it doesn't feel good. But you have permission to be in that. Like you have permission to feel bad. And you have permission to almost feel as if today sucks. You ruined it.

You got in a fight with your partner. You ruined today. You guys were on holiday. Oh, my gosh. They're going to hold it against you. Most people don't even realize that you're suffering. Most people have no idea. I don't think my family really knows what goes on with me a lot of the time.

And I think that that's also my fault. And some of us, listen, we have family members. We can't really talk to. in that way. You know, I'm grateful to have that, but sometimes it's easier to like stay in your own world, stay in your own bubble and not reach out. I used to be that way until it started to really impact my day to day and I couldn't like get out of bed because I was so, I was so hard to myself. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip.

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But you have to kind of work with yourself. You've got to find a balance here. Because the truth is, the mind. that you have right now, you're going to have that mind for the rest of your life. And if all you know how to do is continue to sabotage yourself and all you know how to do is to not let yourself have permission and have to wait on other people to decide things in your life, it's just, it's not going to work. The quicker we are to realize that these moments of hatred, of, of negativity that are within our mind are temporary, the best of,

chance we have to actually change that perspective and take it somewhere we want to go. I'm very transparent about the fact that like I'm not perfect. I'm not and I go through everything that you go through. I've been talking about how I deal with my emotions and how I feel the things that happen in my life but don't get it twisted. You know, I sometimes go back to old habits. It happens. We all do. But I think it's a consistency thing and I think in my life

recently I've become more consistent with the good than the bad. And I can be thankful for that. But I have permission to fall off the wagon. I have permission to mess up. So do you. You have permission to make a mistake if you know

you didn't do well. You didn't do well. Okay. The last thing I'll say about having permission and feeling like, you know, when you are in the dumps, it's okay. I think it's knowing that like everyone has off days. Everyone has days where they feel bad and when the insecurities are talking louder than the things that you've built up. And just because it's one time and you've been like recent, you know, recently you've, you know, Recently you've you've fixed a lot of these patterns or you've tried to be better.

You have to know that it's a process. And when you go down like your spiral, which is what I did today, I think that you should know that a lot of the things that you're saying and a lot of the things that you're convincing yourself, you're pulling it straws. You're taking the small little mistakes that you've made and you're blowing them up. to feel a lot bigger than they are, so they support how you feel. And the same way as you learn to take a good perspective

and find the evidence within yourself to back that up when you don't believe it, the same is going to be true about your mind when things go wrong, because it's pattern recognition. We're trying to find the evidence. Okay, we feel this way, we feel negative, so we're going to reach deep into our bag of insecurities

and pull out everything that we can. And today before I took that nap, bro, I was I was literally re-evaluating everything. I was like, am I even a good, like, son? Am I even like a good person? Maybe, maybe, like, I'm a liar and I've just lied and I'm phony. And none of what I do actually matters. Like, these are things I don't believe. I don't believe.

But the insecurities sometimes are good at catching us blind. So that's why we need to take a break. That's why we need to give ourselves permission to think differently. And if that requires a change of scenery, if that requires a change in activity, you go and you do it. You go and you do it. And you force yourself. It wasn't comfortable for me to do that. But also, like, I didn't want to stay in the place that I was.

So give yourself the permission. It's the same thing with trying something new in your life. You will feel uncomfortable when you begin to realize. How much doing something new, a new hobby, trying a new career, I don't know, making a video of you yapping in front of a palace in Austria, how uncomfortable it is. But it's over time that you kind of build the muscle, like, okay, I'm showing up, I'm here, okay, I'm not allowing myself to sabotage the rest of the day just because I had a freak out earlier. like we'll start on a clean slate and let's just keep keep it moving but it's difficult it's hard but surky show just know that we we all deal with these things we all do we all deal with these things and if you feel like you need to take a break if you feel like you need to play some

overwatch i don't know you need to chill out eat a family bag of checks mix bro or some popcorn and watch something on the telly do it do it you can still do the things that bring you joy and the things that you need to do while you change it's a part of change you don't have to cut out all the old things right that remind you of the old person you were keep the things that still bring you joy it's the whole point of this it's it's figuring out what is good and what we should keep in our lives and what is a detriment and what isn't good and maybe the thing that is a detriment to you right now is not allowed allowing yourself permission to do the things you know you should.

Today's episode of The Zerkees Show was filmed in beautiful Vienna, Austria. If you're ever in Europe, you need to check out Vienna. I cannot recommend it enough. So green, so beautiful, so many parks. Yeah, put it on your list. Did you know that the Zerky Show is everywhere you go? That is correct. You can watch it, you can scroll, you can stream it.

The choice is yours. If you want to tap in, this is the best way to tap in. Do the things that bring you joy and turn today into something good. maybe you're watching this really early in the morning. You know you should be asleep. That's fine. You can still go to bed. All right. Wake up a little bit later.

Get a head start on the next day. Maybe you're watching this and you are like halfway through your day and it's sucked. That's fine. That's half of your day. You still got another half to make something special. Zerky Show, if you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And as always, man, I am sending you lots of love and peace.