the zurkie show - you’re scared they’ll see you try

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

perfection is the enemy of good.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

You were ready to do it. You just fear being embarrassed. You just fear the idea that it will not be good enough for somebody else to judge. I thought being perfect was what you needed to do. I didn't know that it was a choice. And I didn't know that that choice was one that was going to ruin my life. Being perfect has led me down some of the deepest, worst periods of my mental health. Being perfect or trying to be perfect has made me believe that I,

I will never achieve it and therefore there's no point in continuing. Being perfect is the opposite of what you want to do to live a good life as a human being in my opinion. And so I really urge you don't be perfect. Don't try to be perfect. Instead, be great. Be great in the way you interact with people. Be great in the way that you treat yourself. My goodness.

I have sacrificed my own well-being countless times just because I wanted to mask whatever I was feeling and focus on how I could be of service to other people, of how I could torment myself into pleasing another human being. But the truth is, you won't be perfect. You won't. You will strive your entire life to be perfect. And other people might look at you and call you perfect. And I think that's where this weird battle ensues of like, well, people are saying that when I do this, I am perfect. But in my heart, deep down, I know I'm not.

No, I'm not. You're not perfect. You're not perfect. You'll never be. Don't be. Don't be. It's not human. It's not human.

Perfection does not allow for you to acknowledge that you have done something substantial. you've done something good and that you should be proud of yourself. There is no being proud of yourself in perfection. Because if you are not perfect, which is oftentimes something that is defined by other people and not yourself, shut up. Shut up. You have no room to speak. You're not doing good enough.

You think you've earned the right to say something? No, other people have more say in your life than you have on your own. What really taught me to look at imperfection differently, was changing my idea of what is something I can be proud of. I've been a great student. For some people, I was a perfect student, even though I did poorly. I didn't learn anything.

I'm going to be so honest with you guys, school is a blur. And now as an adult, I am like relearning how to learn. because part of me feels like I can't speak Spanish well, so I shouldn't speak it at all, until I go and I learn and I figure out, okay, how can I get my Spanish back and I practice with myself? Then I've earned the right to actually go up to somebody and say,

me poe de dar a taco, you know what I'm saying? But that's not how the world works, if you actually want. to learn. Learning comes, in my opinion, from throwing yourself into a situation and seeing, all right, what do I do? How do I pivot? You're not going to learn the best Spanish sitting in front of a textbook and reading. You're going to learn the best Spanish by speaking to somebody who's a native speaker. And you waiting to be perfect, waiting to feel like you have the perfect understanding of the language, that's just going to hinder your actual development.

perfection hinders any development because what you think perfection is is actually pride in your work it's actually being content with what you've learned in my life there are two things that I feel like I've been perfect with one it's been my journaling I just love to do it and I do it a lot and I don't try to be perfect I am anti-perfect

with the way that I write there if i mess up i don't scrap the page no i keep going i misspell stuff i might have dyslexia because i keep spelling things wrong and it's okay because i don't want to be perfect there's no point in that to me it's my expression it's for me that's all that matters another thing has been showing up and speaking into a camera every single day i do it even if I do not come on here onto the show, I still speak my mind in some kind of form because it makes me feel really good.

It makes me feel really happy when I'm able to express myself. And that to me is perfection. But it's really not. I think it's because I've changed the idea of what it means to be perfect and I don't seek it anymore. It's consistency.

Consistency will change your life. and letting go of what consistency looks like will change your life, not holding this belief that you need to wait for something to start. You need to have all of said knowledge in order to be able to say something. Explore what you can with what you have. You are ready to do it. You just fear being embarrassed. You just fear the idea that it will not be good enough for somebody else to judge.

Why have you been delaying so many things in your life? why have you allowed yourself to just keep pushing it to next year, keep pushing it to the next day? And I'm speaking to myself because I do that still today, because I fear, I'm not going to have it perfect. It's not going to be good. It's not going to be to the point that I want it to be. When I've never done it before, why am I judging something I've never done? I think a lot of us do that. I think we judge relationships.

We compare them to other people when it's our first time dating somebody. It's our first time getting rejected. It's our first time being in an argument. Well, babe, if it's not like this, then it's not good. That's not true. That's just blatantly not true. Don't be perfect. This doesn't mean don't have standards.

Don't try to do a good job because a good job is something that will make you feel good. When you put an extra effort into whatever you're doing, and you say, I gave it my all, it will make you feel good. That's true. But I think that your obsession of wanting to be perfect for other people needs to end. Because at the end of the day, nobody cares. I wish they did. Nobody cares.

They care about fulfilling a view that they have themselves onto you. That's what they care about. They want to be right. Do they deserve to be right? I don't think so. Because it's your life. It is your life. And the weird thing that happens is you will still like, you will still experience this with your own self.

As you change, as you become a new version of yourself. Because trust me, I'm not the same person I was. at 23 at 24. Your 20s especially, but I think the rest of your life, honestly, every year is different. Every year you learn more. Every year you experience more life and it makes and shifts and molds your brain into perceiving the world

through your experiences, through the upsets, through the highs, through the lows, through the beautiful moments. You gain more experience and you gain an understanding of who you are. As this happens, the old part of you that oftentimes seeks comfort does not like the idea that you have changed and you have challenged its beliefs, tries to lure you back into your old ways. And this isn't something that you are just, oh, it won't happen to me. It will happen to you.

Trust me. I thought the same thing. I was like, bro, I'm good now. No. No. No. no there still is that voice in my head that tries to convince me that I need to be perfect and if I'm not perfect then I am worthless and the way that I've been able to deal with that

voice is to give it less weight by focusing on more action and less pondering and less criticism. The more that you sit with your ideas, the more that you ponder, should I go up and ask that girl on a date, that guy on a date, should I slide into their DMs, the more that you let things stew in your brain, the more and more you will overcook it to the point where it is burned, it is rotten, it is not edible, and there will be your evidence. I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm not good. I literally could have done it, but I didn't. But it's a trap. It's a trap because the person in your mind that was cooking that stew for you, they never wanted to serve you it in the first place. Whereas you acting, you get the stew.

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And enjoy. via rail love the way because you're supposed to act on things you're supposed to have an idea and be like all right let's do it let's make it happen too many of us wait and it's because of this perfectionism 100% how do we actually have an actionable step to mitigate over thinking to mitigate this notion What has helped me, and maybe it might help you, is do more things that you are bad at. Objectively that you feel like you would be judged for, you feel like if somebody saw you do it, they'd be like, what are you doing? You need to do more of it. If it's drawing, you need to draw. I don't care how bad you are, you need to do it.

If it's playing Ultimate Frisbee, even though you've never played, you just need to do it. I wish there was more of a solution. but I think what can help your framing is tackling some of the smaller things that feel like you could be imperfect in them will build confidence in the idea that I can do something and not be good at it right away because I will learn. The focus needs to be on learning. The focus needs to be on experiencing. That's what I think. I mean, that changed my life.

I am going to write every day in this journal. I don't care how it looks because I know over time my handwriting will get better, the way that I lay out my pages will get better, and my writing will get better. And because of that, I've been able to learn how to speak better. I will get better at speaking because I will talk every single day. And even though, you know, in the beginning, I won't be good at it. I will get in this habit of doing it so much that there's no way I won't be. I will yap so much.

that there's no way I will not be good at yapping. When you rebel against perfectionism, it releases this anchor that you have of like, I'm not moving here until it's good. And suddenly you're able to float into progress. Suddenly you're able to swim towards the person or the place that you want to be at. And it's really freeing.

And it's also really sad. Because when you realize that perfectionism has been ruining your life and has been holding you in the same place, it will change your mind on a lot of things. You will start to see it not only in yourself and other places, right, but in other people and in the world. A lot of people are chained by their misconceptions of what it means to be a good human being and what it means to just be good enough.

I wish I learned this sooner. I'm glad I can share it with you now, Zerki Show, But man, like, perfection has made me make some really bad decisions. In dating, that was a big one. Ah, well, these people are going to see me with this girl and she's chopped. But I liked her. I liked her. She was cool.

She was funny. She, like, actually made me laugh. Don't fumble the funny girl. Please, bro, don't fumble the funny girl. The funny girl that will make you laugh, that's the meta. I've said it. All right. That's the meta.

Not the person that knows how to throw a couple Instagram photos together. That's not what will make you appreciate somebody. But, hey, everyone has their own person. That's another thing. Everyone thinks that humor is linear or, like, what you like in somebody is, you know, linear. Just because, like, this guy doesn't make you laugh, doesn't mean that there isn't a guy out there that can. You know what I mean? Also, we all have different frequencies of interacting with people.

Maybe you too like ironic humor, but that's not going to float somebody else's boat. Somebody else needs a more, you know, the office style humor where it's super dry and super troll. Don't be perfect. Don't be. Be you. Be you, work with what you have. Work with being consistent in the small things in your life. Go to bed on time.

At the time that actually helps you, you don't need to mistake your progress, which is never linear. It's never like, there's going to be ups and downs. There's going to be moments where you realize you are a lot weaker than you thought you were, that you don't know enough, and you need to go back to the drawing board and learn more. Do not mistake that for weakness. Because a lot of us think that if we're not perfect, we're weak. We are weak human beings. That's not true.

That's not true. Strength comes from being able to show up. And the way in which you show up, don't make it be perfect. Because you showing up is just enough. It really is. And the one day that's bad, it's just a moment. It's one sliver of the rest of your entire life. You can learn from it.

You can be like, all right, what can I mitigate? What can I control so this doesn't happen and doesn't reoccur? occur. That's great. But don't hold it against yourself so much, Zirky Show. Perfection has ruined a lot of people's lives. It's made a lot of people feel like they will never be able to achieve whatever they want to. They'll never be able to be an artist. They'll never be able to have the wit and the humor to have a good conversation with somebody. They will never be good looking to a standard that isn't even realistic to be able to go up to somebody and meet their future partner. Do not Let that be you.

That is not true. Don't be perfect. Because if you are perfect, you are not human. Today's episode of the Zerkees show was filmed in beautiful Miami, Florida, here on the canal and coral gables. If you want to listen to more of the Zerky Show, these are the best ways to tap it. It's a Zirky Show everywhere you go. We got beautiful communities all over the interwebs, like-minded people, everywhere you go. I love you.

Do the things that bring you joy. Make sure to stretch, man. I am so. tight. Wait, I am tight as in my muscles are tight, okay? That's what I mean. And it's also good for longevity to just get your body moving. A lot of us, when we get out of college, we make excuses for why we can't work out, why we can't take care of our bodies. A lot of it is because we go to work, right? And we try to focus on other things. Make sure you take care of your body. You have one of these in this lifetime. Take care of it. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you.

And as always, Zerky Show, I'm sending you lots of love and...