Theology in the Raw - Bonus Q&A: Habits To Keep Marriage A Priority While Raising Kids, Does 2 Timothy 1:18 Support Praying For The Dead?, and More!

Starting point is 00:00:00 The exiles and Babylon conferences happening again, April 3rd to April 5th, 2025 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I cannot wait for this conference. We're talking about the gospel and race after George Floyd. We're talking about transgender people in the church, social justice and the gospel, two perspectives, and a dialogical debate about whether the evangelical church is good for this country. Featuring my new friend, Adam Davidson. He's an atheist journalist and Sean McDowell, my other good friend, they're going to banter around about that topic. We also have Latasha Morrison, Ephraim Smith, Mark Yarhouse, Malcolm Foley, and many other awesome speakers. We're also adding some breakouts

Starting point is 00:00:39 this year, and we're going to have a killer after party. I can't wait for that one. Actually, if you want to attend a conference, you can do so by going to theology, raw.com. You want to register early. We do have an early birth, a fairly aggressive early bird special. It ends December 31st. So if you are planning on attending the conference, you want to sign up before then you could also attend virtually. If you can't make it out to Minneapolis again, April 3rd to 5th, Minneapolis, Minnesota, exiles of Babylon, go to theology and the route.com. And I hope to see you there is sex during menstruation, sinful. Why were only certain writings of Paul included in the Bible? What habits or traditions did my wife and I keep while having, but while raising kids does second Timothy one 18 support praying for the dead or post-mortem salvation? Do I believe

Starting point is 00:01:25 in penal substitution and many, many other questions that I'm going to address on this special bonus, now bi-monthly bonus Q and a episode. If you want to become part of the theology community and gain access to be able to ask questions during these bi-monthly episodes, you can go to patreon.com forward slash the all general really appreciate all of you who are supporting this podcast. It really does make the podcast go round and around. Okay. Let's dive in. First question, what habits or traditions did my wife and I have to keep our marriage a priority while raising kids? Any good couples devotionals that you would recommend? Well,

Starting point is 00:02:18 let me begin with that second question there. I actually personally don't have any good devotionals that I could recommend. Not that they're, they're not out there. That just, I know that's helped out many, many couples, devotionals that they go through together. We we've tried some in the past. I can't remember which ones and it just, it just didn't fit my wife and I's vibe, I guess. I don't know. Our routine. Yeah. So unfortunately I can't, I don't have any, I guess, I don't know. Our routine, yeah, so unfortunately I can't, I don't have any, I could recommend you, but again, I'm sure there's out there and I'm sure if you talk to some people,

Starting point is 00:02:53 they can recommend some couples devotionals. For us, a big value has been just quality time. And my wife in particular has a really good gauge on whether or not we are getting sufficient quality time as a couple. In some seasons of life that's been challenging, especially when kids are young and we're both working a lot and it can be really, really tough to get quality time.

Starting point is 00:03:23 But we've tried hard to make that a high priority. And then other seasons of life, you know, we, um, get too much quality, maybe not too much, but we get, we get plenty, you know, so each, I, you know, each couple's, each couple's different, you know, and I think, I think it's good to recognize the vast array of different personalities, temperament, what constitutes a flourishing relationship like that's different for every person. I guess this is my one big overarching encouragement is don't be putting a, don't be putting somebody else's like narrow box of what your marriage routine must look like. Pay attention to your, your, your spouse and their needs and, and, and your needs as a,

Starting point is 00:04:05 as a spouse and your life giving routine may be different than somebody else's. Somebody else may, might do X, Y, and C and they might swear by it and want you to do it. And you might try that and you're like, ah, I don't know. It just doesn't, it doesn't really work for us. And that is completely okay. Marriages are, are, are beautifully diverse for us. You know, our, our marriage is flourishing the best when we are having fun. We are laughing. We are being adventurous. We are not just going through just the routine of life where, you know, you go into work, come home, have dinner, take care of the kids, talk about

Starting point is 00:04:46 the kids, go to sleep, wake up, then do it all over again, over and over and over and over. I feel like we, we both really need, you know, kind of change. We need some adventure. We need to be having fun. And so that, and that's like different with the different stages of our marriage. Before we had kids, we had two, just, we were just married two years without kids. And, you know, we had a, um, and we were very busy and extremely poor. My wife was working full time. I was working part time and also in full time seminary. We were just scraping and trying to pay off debt, school debt. And we just had, you know, was it two nickels rubbed together, you know? Um, so we would go and find the cheapest restaurant, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a

Starting point is 00:05:27 it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a little less common. And now as our kids are older, we have two out of the house, two in the house. We feel like our kids are almost, well not almost, they really are our best friends. And I think our kids almost feel the same. Like we actually really, really enjoy each other. So now it's like my wife and I actually don't go on too many dates by ourselves because

Starting point is 00:06:04 we'd much rather be hanging out with the kids and having fun with them. I mean, I think that's the thing about the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like,

Starting point is 00:06:31 I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to a place where you're like, I don't want to get to like you. All I know about you is you are the parent of our kids. And all I've known of you is as a parent, a fellow co-parent with our kids, but I don't

Starting point is 00:06:51 know who you are apart from the kids. That's very, very common. And so I would say, you know, I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not wife and I talk about this all the time and we've been married over 23 years, two of those without kids, 21 with kids. I, we don't have kids. I'm a wife and I talk about this all the time. And I'm like, I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not going to be married to a parent. I'm not wife and I talk about this all the time. And we've been married over 23 years, two of those without kids, 21 with kids.

Starting point is 00:07:26 We hardly know each other apart from the kids somehow being wrapped up into that. So, but one day they're gonna be gone. So we need to make sure we're cultivating patterns now to where when they do leave, it's not like so utterly depressing and we have to kind of figure it out all over again. So anyway, I'm not great at giving marriage advice.

Starting point is 00:07:44 It's not my forte, again. So anyway, I'm not great at giving marriage advice. It's not my forte, but those are my two cents. Okay. Next question. Okay. This gets, yeah, pretty, well, it's a great question actually. Do I think it's a sin for spouses to have sex when the woman is in her period, and you cross-referenced Leviticus 18. If so, how would you engage that convo in the church? That might be the most difficult part of this question. Well, I can give you an answer here on the podcast, but how do you go about this in the church? That'd be interesting. I've never seen this addressed in the church. There's three passages never seen this addressed in the church. There's three passages, three passages in the Old Testament, actually, that prohibit sex during menstruation, Leviticus 15, 24, 18, 19, and 20, verse 18. So,

Starting point is 00:08:35 all three are in Leviticus. Whenever I get a, you know, is this sin? Is it not sin? Question, especially when we're dealing with something that is only explicitly addressed in the Old Testament, we have to go back to the drawing board and kind of like figure out what is our methodology for even determining what is sin or not. One basic kind of standard one is, well, if it's in the Old Testament and it's also repeated in the New or refuted in the New, you know, then that's a very clear indication whether it could be sin or not sin. Okay. So if it's repeated in the New Testament, then it's, that's a very clear indication whether it could be sin or not sin. Okay. So if it's, if it's repeated in the New Testament, then it's that this prohibition would be sin

Starting point is 00:09:14 or this act would be sin. If it's refuted in the New Testament, then it's no longer sin. So like eating pork prohibited in the old, that, that command is overturned in the new. So now we can say pretty confidently eating bacon is no longer sin. Thank, thank the good Lord for that. Um, but what about when it's something that's stated in the old Testament and the new Testament's silent, which is what we're dealing with here. We have three commands in the old Testament, none in the new, we can't assume, we cannot assume simply because it's in the old Testament, none in the new. We can't assume, we cannot assume simply because it's in the old Testament. It's like not for today. That's, that's a way that methodology is, is not, uh, I don't think that's helpful. If it's refuted in the

Starting point is 00:09:54 new, then sure, it's not for today, but if it's just not addressed, then we have to roll up our sleeves and do a bit, a bit deeper work in, um, the relationship between the covenants, the kind of really robust hermeneutic and the passages we're dealing with. I'm pretty sure that any first century Jewish Christian would say it's sin because Leviticus 18 was sort of their standard passage on sexual ethics. Like if a Jewish, if a first century Jewish Christian said it wasn't sin, then this would be the only one in a context with a whole litany of sexual prohibitions, this would be the only one that

Starting point is 00:10:30 is no longer prohibited. I don't think a first century Jewish Christian would just ditch it so quickly. Like, why would they? Plus, the Greek word parneas, as it's used in first century Jewish literature around that time, it seems to include all of the sins in Leviticus 18. Like Leviticus 18, what is it? Verses 6 to 23. This is kind of like the main passage about sexual ethics or about prohibitions, sexual prohibitions for any Jewish person. And since we don't have any reason in the New Testament to say this is no longer valid, I think first century Jewish Christians would just assume, like, of course, this is still part of God's moral law. I do think, it sounds like I'm saying it is sin, and I'll state my tentative conclusion

Starting point is 00:11:21 in a second, but on the flip side, I do think we have to go into and look at the moral logic behind the original command that's tied, uh, that that's driving the prohibition to have sex during menstruation. Is it connected with any, is the moral logic driving this prohibition? Is it connected with the old covenant in, in, in a, in a specific way? Cause if it's connected with the old covenant, then it dies with the old covenant. Well, again, if it's connected, if it's something specifically connected with the old covenant, like it's related to Israel, specifically Israel living in the land of Israel under that old covenant, and it's really intrinsically connected to that covenant. Then one might be able to argue that maybe this command dies with the old covenant. And

Starting point is 00:12:12 some have suggested that this has to do with ritual purity, that during menstruation, the woman is ritually, ritually, uh, impure. Not, not, not morally impure. Now, don't think sin here. It's like she's in sin because he's menstruating, my Lord, but she is ritually impure. And that whole framework, that's just so foreign to us that, that does capture a kind of an ancient Near Eastern perspective on purity and impurity. So one could argue that because it's so connected with ritual purity and because the New Covenant doesn't really deal with ritual impurity and purity, that therefore it is no longer valid. Here's my one concern with that, though. Like Leviticus 15, the very first time you see

Starting point is 00:13:05 this prohibition is in Leviticus 15. And that whole chapter is all about ritual purity. Okay. Leviticus 15. It's the, it's one of the, is that the body fluids passage there? So it's not just menstruation. It's several other body fluids are mentioned there or is that Leviticus 11? Leviticus 11 is the dietary code, I believe. And I think I'm pretty sure Leviticus 15 is, is the bodily fluids passage. So it, if the only prohibition was Leviticus 15, I could see a case being made that, okay, this is really wrapped up in a whole purity, impurity, ancient Near East mindset. That just isn't, doesn't really carry over into the New Testament. However, the prohibition is also mentioned

Starting point is 00:13:45 in, as you said, Leviticus 18 and Leviticus 20. And Leviticus 18 and Leviticus 20, these are kind of mirror passages or they're kind of sister passages. And they're part of what's called the holiness code, which addresses morality in a more universal way. This is where we get love your neighbors yourself and many other commands and prohibitions that And so, you know, I think that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's specific, like, like ritual purity in Leviticus 18 and Leviticus 20. This is more social and

Starting point is 00:14:25 moral living in general. So all that to say, I, I lean towards it being sinful. Or at least, I would say it goes against God's design for sexual activity. We also, it would be interesting to kind of raise some more natural law or design questions about this. What is going on during menstruation? And could that signal that God did not design the human body to be sexually active during this time? If for anything, I mean, it's a time when you can't really get pregnant, right? I mean, maybe there's some fluke things, but the woman is not, if sex is designed to be procreative, I know that's kind of a more of a Catholic position, and the body is giving signals that it is not procreative during these few days, then you could argue from

Starting point is 00:15:20 a design position that God did not design the human body to be engaging in sexual activity during this time. And, you know, we say, but we really want to, you know, it's a, well, okay, I don't, that's not really a great moral argument. Yeah. So I, you know, I guess the burden of proof would rest on somebody to make a case that it is not sinful. Maybe that's where I would land. That's a cautious landing, right, well, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

Starting point is 00:15:58 I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm it doesn't exhaust kind of the moral logic behind biblical sexual ethics. So yeah, so I lean towards, yeah, I don't think that people should be having sex during, during menstruation. There's actually a decent article, actually a decent argue, article by John Piper at DesiringGod.com. I think if you just Google, is sex during menstruation sinful, John Piper, if you Google it should take you there. I think it came out a couple of years ago. He actually does a pretty good job overviewing this issue and, and digs into some of the ancient background with ritual

Starting point is 00:16:38 purity and impurity. It's, it's, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty informative. Okay. next question. Does 2 Timothy 1 18 support praying for the dead or post-mortem salvation? Paul is asking God as if the decision has not been made or the result could be changed. So Paul says, let's just back up to verse 16, 2 Timothy 1 16. May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Anesophorus. Is that how you say it? Anesiphorus?

Starting point is 00:17:07 Anesiphorus? No, it's Anesiphorus, right? For He often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains. But when He arrived in Rome, He searched for me earnestly and found me. May the Lord grant Him to find mercy from the Lord on that day." And that day is referring to the final day, judgment day. And you well know all the service He rendered at Ephesus. So, honestly, I think this is just more of a general expression of hope that Anasaphores will receive a favorable

Starting point is 00:17:40 verdict on judgment day. But I don't get the sense that Paul thinks this is in doubt. I think he's just, it's like a generic hope. Not, not in that I hope this happens, but like placing hope that this will happen. It's kind of like, you know, if I said, you know, may God be with you, this doesn't mean that I have doubts that God is actually with them. If I'm referring to a Christian, Hey, may God be with you. Well, that's just kind of almost like a colloquial way of saying God is with you. And I'm reminding you of that. There's nothing in the context that suggests that Anesophorus, that his salvation

Starting point is 00:18:19 is in any way in doubt. I mean, in fact, in fact, he's contrasting in SFOrest with some people that were Paul very much thought their salvation is in doubt. But in contrast, here's a guy who's super faithful, you know, not ashamed of my chains and, you know, rendered all kinds of service to me at emphasis. So yeah, all that said, I don't think we can squeeze out of this passage, some sort of like hope for post-mortem salvation. Another question, why were only certain writings of Paul included in the Bible? The quick answer is we don't know. We just don't know. We do have a few illusions in the new Testament to other writings of Paul. We have two other letters to the Corinthian church that are referenced, but aren't in the Bible. We have two, but within those two Corinthian letters, we have two more letters that Paul

Starting point is 00:19:10 references that he wrote to Corinth. We also have in Colossians 4.16, that reference. Hey friends, I hope you enjoyed this portion of the Patreon Only Q&A podcast. If you'd like to listen to the full-length episode and receive other bonus content like monthly podcasts, opportunities to ask questions, access to first drafts of my research, and monthly Zoom chats and more, then please head over to patreon.com forward slash theology in the raw to join Theology in the Raw's Patreon community. That's patreon.com forward slash theology in the raw. This show is part of the Converge Podcast Network. Hey friends, Rachel Grohl here from the Hearing Jesus Podcast.

Starting point is 00:19:59 Do you ever wonder if you're truly hearing from God? Are you tired of trying to figure it all out on your own? The Hearing Jesus podcast is here to help you live out your faith every single day. And together we will break down these walls by digging deeply into God's Word in a way that you can really understand it. If this sounds like the kind of journey you want to go on, please join us on the Hearing Jesus podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, I'm Haven, and as long as I can remember,

Starting point is 00:20:28 I have had different curiosities and thoughts and ideas that I like to explore, usually with a girlfriend over a matcha latte. But then when I had kids, I just didn't have the same time that I did before for the one-on-ones that I crave. So I started Haven the Podcast. It's a safe space for curiosity and conversation. And we talk about everything from relationships

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Theology in the Raw - Bonus Q&A: Habits To Keep Marriage A Priority While Raising Kids, Does 2 Timothy 1:18 Support Praying For The Dead?, and More!

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