Theology in the Raw - Bonus Q&A: Is Divorce Allowed if Couple Isn't Growing Together or is a "Loveless" Marriage? and More!

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

-- If you've enjoyed this content, please subscribe to my channel! Support Theology in the Raw through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theologyintheraw Or you can support me directly through Venmo: @Preston-Sprinkle-1 Visit my personal website: https://www.prestonsprinkle.com For questions about faith, sexuality & gender: https://www.centerforfaith.com -- 0:00 Introduction 0:24 Is divorce allowed if couple isn't growing together or is a ""loveless"" marriage? 4:41 How do you talk to your kids about their possible future marriages or singleness? Many parents assume marriage is in their future. 8:29 What are your top 5 musicians or bands? 14:42 Does the use of non-lethal force have a place within a framework of non-violence? Policing/self defense? 18:18 Did God have to send Jesus at the time in history when he did? With such cruel ways to kill? 23:42 Is the Greek word 'skubula' a vulgar term? 29:29 Can you talk through the two words in 1 Corinthians 6:9 that are tranlated ""men having sex with men?"" 37:20 What do you know about the ""Divine Council?"" 40:12 What is meant by the term ""gods"" in John 10:34-35? 46:29 Why do some scholars call the first century Holy Land ""Palestine"" and others are completely opposed to this label? NT Wright even calls Jesus a Palestinian Jew. 54:11 Is contemplative prayer biblical? 58:06 Premarital sex isn't clearly outlawed in scripture, and Song of Songs seems to celebrate sexual intimacy outside of marriage. Please help. 1:01:11 ""Kephale""--you said it doesn't imply lack of power. Why does prominence have to be linked with power? 1:03:19 Why is Christmas celebrated on December 25? 1:09:04 If God is pro-life, why the flood in Genesis? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Is the Greek word scubula a vulgar term? What are my top five favorite bands? And much, much more on this bonus Q&A episode at theology in the raw. Every month, my Patreon supporters send in a bunch of questions for me to address, and I do my best to address them. And you'll get a sneak peek into some of my responses to these questions and others.

And if you want to become part of the Patreon community, you can go to patreon.com forward slash theology in the raw and get access to be able to ask me questions in these monthly episodes. So let's dive in with these really, really interesting questions. Okay, so the first question is from an anonymous person here who wants to know, a spouse thinks divorce is okay if not growing together as a couple or in a loveless marriage. What are my thoughts on this? Basically, the question is, is divorce allowed for couples not growing together or who are

in a loveless marriage. That term loveless could be defined, I guess, many different ways, but I'll do my best to answer this according to what I think is going on here. Let me give you some biblical thoughts and then some practical thoughts. My quick biblical thoughts are, I don't see any evidence for this. I don't see any biblical evidence for divorce being biblically allowed if a couple is, quote, not growing together or is in a loveless marriage. I do see evidence for divorce in cases of sexual immorality, sexual infidelity. And also, I do think there's a case to be made for divorce in cases of abuse. Wayne Grudem has an excellent article.

I don't know where it is. I found it online somewhere where he interprets a passage in 1 Corinthians 7. I forget the actual verse. I think it's 715, 718, something like that, where he argues that this phrase can expand to include cases of abuse. So those are, I guess, the two areas of divorce being allowed. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 also might add or does seem to say, right, if you have a Christian spouse and a non-Christian spouse and the non-Christian spouse leaves, then that Christian spouse is free to remarry. I would say the case for remarriage

after divorce is even tougher, a tougher case to argue for in even cases where divorce is biblically allowed. That's an issue I haven't really looked into. I've got a good friend of mine who says that church history has never allowed remarriage in any case, really. I still need to look into that more, so I don't want to speak competently to that. But to your question though, I don't see any evidence, do you, But to your question though, I just, I don't see, I don't see any evidence, do you? For cases where a marriage is not growing together or is in a loveless marriage, assuming that loveless doesn't mean

that it's an abusive marriage. My, but honestly, my practical thoughts on this are maybe a little different. I mean, I would be more concerned about the fact that a spouse feels this way. Like what is their understanding of growing together and why do they see the marriage as not doing this? What constitutes a loveless marriage

and why does the spouse, I'm assuming this is your spouse, why does your spouse feel like your marriage is loveless? And what would a loved, filled marriage look like? What would a marriage look like that is growing together? So, I guess that would be by, rather than like winning the theological argument or biblical argument, I would be more concerned about the premise that is underlying this very question. And then,'ve said this many times, I'm a huge fan of counseling for stuff like this. Let me say, let me rephrase that, of good, wise, Christian, gospel-centered counseling for stuff like this.

With these kind of, this seems pretty foundational. Like there seems to be some serious things that should be addressed. And sometimes these can be really difficult to work through just, you know, between spouses. And I think it's really helpful to have other people involved in that conversation. So when I see counseling, I'm not necessarily, I'm not necessarily saying like professional counseling, although I,

that would be my, my go-to,to, but at the very least, some wise, truthful, honest people who can enter into this conversation with you would be my recommendation. Next question. How do you talk to your kids about their possible future marriages or singleness? Many Christian parents operate and speak with the assumption of marriage. Many Christian parents operate and speak with the assumption of marriage. This is a great question that has some, I think, really healthy things built into the very question. Especially that second part, that many Christians operate and speak with the assumption of marriage. This is very true, very extremely true. When I became a parent,

we were just groomed to pray for your kid's spouse and prepare your kids for marriage and just to parent our kids with the assumption that they will be married. And I would say this is just absolutely setting your kids up for failure if you give them the impression that they will get married, that this is somehow written into the script of their life because it is simply not. It is extremely unbiblical to bake into the gospel, to bake into one's inevitable life path the reality that they will get married. So, yeah, I've had to over the years try to reverse my thinking on this and undo the previous maybe potential damage I did as a younger parent when my wife and I would talk, you know, with the, talk about a kid, talk to our kids with assuming that they will, will, will get married. So I've tried to get out of the habit of not of saying, I'm not trying to get out of the

habit of saying when you get married, but rather try to say, if God is calling you to marriage, or if God is leading you to marriage, then here is what this could look like. And here's how you can prepare yourself for that potential reality of God calling you into marriage or leading you into marriage. Instead of praying for my kid's future spouse, you know, I might pray something like, Lord, if you are leading my kid to get married, then I pray that you prepare them for this vocation. And if they, if you are calling them into marriage, you know, maybe I can pray. If that will be the case, then I do pray that you would prepare their future spouse to be a healthy partner in life.

Even though I try to talk like this, yeah, my kids still express a strong desire to get married, and they still talk as if they will get married. I try to remind them as much as I can without being the annoying theologian dad, you know, that, you know, it's not when, but if you get married, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know, dad. But so when I get married, I'm going to... So, yeah, it's... I do have one daughter who's like, I don't need to get married. Or maybe it's down the road or whatever.

I just can't imagine getting married now. Like the thought of getting married young, just that super thrilling to this particular daughter of mine. I do have one daughter that is married and a wonderful marriage. One absolutely wonderful marriage and an wonderful marriage. One absolutely wonderful marriage and an amazing husband. And yeah, I think my other of my four kids, one's married, one doesn't need to get married,

at least not young and early age. Like she's content in her singleness. Another daughter, right? That you would really, really like to get married. And I would say based on her, that you would really, really like to get married. And I would say based on her, based on what I know about her, her personality and her wiring, her virtues, her absolute love, love, love, love for kids, I sense that God is probably calling her into marriage. But even then, I don't like to speak in definite terms,

but potential terms. Next question, what are my top five musicians or bands? This is such a hard question to answer because different, I don't, yeah, it's certain bands fill certain areas of my life or I like certain bands for certain things or they played certain roles in different seasons of my life. So it's not like I have a static,

yeah, a static top five list of five favorite bands. It will always be my five favorite bands. It's, yeah, I don't know. It's a hard question to answer, but let me list a few. U2 will always be up there. I have been a huge fan of U2 for many, many years and love so much of the music. Having said that, there's probably whole albums

I don't think I've actually listened to. So I'm not a student of U2 like some people are, but I do love. I mean, on most of my playlists, my running playlist, my chill playlist, my workout playlist, most of my playlists will have at least some U2 songs, especially my running playlist. I mean, U2 is a fantastic band to run to.

Coldplay would have to be up there. I've seen Coldplay in concert four times, five times. And it is, it's hard to describe a Coldplay concert. It is just, it is just magical. It's unbelievable. I like much of the music, not all of it. There's some whole albums that I don't particularly like, but I love their expansive genre.

I like their older stuff especially. Not a huge fan of their latest album, but I appreciate, yeah, I just appreciate them as a band. They're just amazing performers. Rush would definitely be in my top five for various reasons. Now, when I say Rush, I mean the early Rush that I think climaxed with their Moving Pictures album. So yeah, from like 1975 to 19, it was 81

when Moving Pictures came out. They switched their sound to go a lot more like synthesizer and just a whole different sound after moving pictures. But what I love about Rush is they did not play into the masses. They were unbelievable, unbelievable performers. I mean, Neil Peart is arguably the best drummer ever. Gay Lee, I know his voice is an acquired taste.

Some people say it sounds like a hamster caught in a bear trap. I don't mind, I like his voice. Man, that guy can sing super high. But he's one of the best bassists ever too. Alex Lifesand, Lifesand's in the guitar, the Hall of Fame, right? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the guitarist. So, I mean, arguably the best power trio of all time,

but their lyrics were just off the chart. Neil Peart was Zermaine's songwriter who passed away I think in 2020. I mean, his lyrics are just so incredibly, incredibly unique. And I love, I love just how they played creative music and did not play it in the masses. So for instance, in 1975, I think they're,

I forget what number album it was, was it Crest of Steel? They released and it flopped, it flopped. They were getting big, they were touring the US and then they just flopped with Crest of Steel they released? And it flopped, it flopped. They were getting big, they were touring the US and then they just flopped with Crest of Steel and you know, were, you know, just seemed to be going down and like, maybe this band's kind of gone, you know.

They had a 20 minute, they ended the album with a, I have to believe a 20, 10 minute or 20 minute song. Who does a 20 minute song? You just don't do that, right? And it was all the, I have to believe a 20, 10 minute or 20 minute song. Who does a 20 minute song? You just don't do that, right? And it was all the, I think it was called the Necromancer or something, it was all about like some mythological thing. I don't know. It's just like, wow, that wasn't really out there.

So they ended the album with the 20 minute song, they flop, what do they do? Their next album, 2112, they open it with another five part 20 minute song 2112 which was is i mean an absolutely incredible incredible song and that album took off but the fact that they would come back and just say we're going to keep doing what we are going to do because we're artists we don't play into the masses and if nobody nobody likes it, then so it is. Now it still happened that 2112 took off and then the next few albums were just amazing.

It put them on the charts of being one of the best rock bands of all time. Anyway, I would highly, okay, highly, highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Lighted Stage. It used to be on Netflix. I don't know if it is anymore. I did see it on YouTube a few weeks ago. But if you're all interested in what I'm talking about It used to be on Netflix. I don't know if it is anymore. I did see it on YouTube a few weeks ago.

But if you're all interested in what I'm talking about and you'll see why Rush has been one of my main inspirations for how to do theology, yeah, go watch that documentary. Okay, a few quick ones, sorry, that was taking too long. A few other quick ones. Bob Marley's gotta be up there. I love, I love reggae. No Big Deal is probably right now my favorite Christian artist.

He's just putting out just amazing, amazing stuff. I've gotten to love Smashing Pumpkins more recently. I didn't listen to them a ton when they were hot in the 90s, but I really liked their stuff more recently. Led Zeppelin, you can't, they're, I mean, if you like rock, you. Led Zeppelin, you can't, they're, I mean, if you like rock, you like Led Zeppelin, right? They're just unbelievable.

Josh Garrels for a season in my life was, ah, season, I mean, just kind of off and on for the last like eight, 10 years has been just, yeah, love Josh Garrels stuff. He was on the podcast a well back, if you remember. Of the 1980s hair bands, I mean Van Halen, Guns N' Roses, Def Leppard. Some people roll their eyes at Def Leppard.

I like Def Leppard. So anyway, those are some of my top ones. All right, next question from Michael. Does the use of non-lethal force have a place within a framework of non-violence? For example, policing or self-defense? And you even add that Genesis 9, 1-7 is convincing me of non-violence. Of all the passages, I wouldn't have picked that one to be kind of a main passage, but

I picked like Matthew 5 or Romans 12, but hey, yeah Genesis 12 is or Genesis 9 significant as well So it's a big within people who advocate for non-violence. This is a big debate whether non-lethal force is compatible with Non-violence and even the whole question of policing John Howard Yoder has written some good stuff on policing within the framework of nonviolence, whether people, even questions like, if you believe in nonviolence,

can you even call the police who might use violence? Like, you're not willing to use violence. Are you gonna rely on other people who are willing to use violence? Is that inconsistent? These are really live discussions within people who advocate for nonviolence or AKA, you know, pacifist communities.

I think a lot of it depends on how you define violence. At the beginning of my book titled Nonviolence, I wrestle with definitions of violence. I think intentionality has to be, I think, baked into to be, I think, baked into a definition of violence. For instance, and I've used this illustration before, so I apologize if you've heard it many times,

but one person could take a sharp object and slice your skin open and cause you to bleed everywhere. And another person could take the same exact object, slice your skin open and cause you to bleed everywhere. And if one is a surgeon and the other is a mugger, then one act is violence and the other is not. No one's gonna say a surgeon operating on you, to save your life is committing violence on you.

So here the intentionality has everything to do with it, right? A surgeon versus a mugger. So I do think intentionality is important. I personally, I do think, I'm pretty sure I talked about this briefly in my book on violence, that I do think there is a place for non-lethal physical force. I don't think all forms of physical force, physical restraining of somebody is considered violence. So, for instance, I mean, just if I could speak freely, you know, if I or someone I love or someone near me was under clear and immediate physical danger, I think it's perfectly fine to use physical strength to try to restrain the person physically. And that doesn't necessarily constitute violence.

Even putting yourself between the gun and the person, you know, would be a way of intervening or trying to restrain somebody physically without beating their head up against the curb or something or using some kind of lethal weapon to harm them or kill them. So I would be on the side of I wanna make a distinction between I don't think all forms of physical restraint constitutes violence. But again, it kind of depends on what kind of definition

of violence you're going on. Next question. Did God have to send Jesus at the time in history he did? Why didn't he wait until capital punishment methods were less barbaric? Whenever we get to questions like, why did God blankety blank blank blank, no, that sounds like God swearing,

or why did God do blank, that why question, I just, most of the time I'm gonna stop the questioner and just say, hey, the answer is we just don't know. Unless scripture tells us the why, we just don't know. Now, there are passages that talk about the necessity of Jesus's timing. In fact, if you go back to the episode with Cynthia Westfall in part one of Apocalyptic Christmas, she then made a case that Jesus had to come before the temple was destroyed in AD 70.

Like there's something about that, the historical conditions leading up to the destruction of the temple that made for a perfect time for Jesus to come. And I'll just let you go back and listen to that because she explains it way better than I could. It was really fascinating. Galatians 4 does say, you know, when the fullness of time came, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born of the law, etc. So I mean, this seems to say that Jesus came at the perfect time, at the fullness of time,

according to Paul and Galatians, so that it wasn't just arbitrary at the time when Jesus came. You also have various prophecies or statements in the Old Testament that Jesus was fulfilling. So regarding his crucifixion, you have in Galatians 3.13, Paul quotes Deuteronomy 21.23 where it says, cursed is the one who... Hey friends, I hope you enjoyed this portion of the Patreon Only Q&A podcast. If you would like to listen to the full length episode

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