Therapuss with Jake Shane - Session 128: Madison Beer

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Who’s your friend…? History.   Thank you to Amazon Prime for sponsoring this episode!  Shop Prime Day Deals June 23rd-26th! Thank you to Booking.com for sponsoring today’s episode! Find exactly what you’re Booking for at https://www.booking.com Use my code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/THERAPUSS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Madison & Stream “Locket” Out Now! https://locket.madisonbeer.com/ Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Therapeutas. We have Brett here for the intro. Hi. My hand hurts. Look, watch. It's like definitely not good. See? Okay, so the tendon just went over the muscle. Great, watch. Ready? Yeah. Then watch it snap back into place. Yeah, it's bad. So if anyone at home knows what the fuck to do, please help me. I'm in so much pain every day in my life. Every morning I wake up in pain. Every night I go to bed in pain. I'm constantly in pain. You're going to have to go to physical therapy or something for that, I think. I think I might have to get the surgery. Oh, no way.

Yeah, the tendonitis surgery. No way. They just, they quickly, they just, it's right here. It's like, this tendon, right here. What's the recovery like? I don't have time for it, so I don't know. Yeah, you're not having time for that. When do you leave again?

For Europe? Yeah. Next week. Brad also just found a place. Halbaum. Jake's rolling his eyes. I'm not rolling my eyes. because I'm mad.

I'm just, I'm just upset. I'm in the same boat. Listen. But I know it has to happen. Like, obviously, like life happens.

I am so sad and to move out. Like, I'm so sad about it. But at the same time. It's time. It's time. For you and your relationship. And we talked about this going into this year of the lease.

Yeah. No one is shocked. No one shocked. Like, I'm not springing this on Jake. Like, I'm not going to be far. No,

seven minutes. I will be here literally all the time. All the time. If you're in town, I'll be here. Right. Which is when I see you anyway. Exactly. And I'm never in town.

You have been gone more than you've been here in the last like five months, I think. Do you hear how sick I sound? Yeah. I'm sick. I think I need to go to bed. I think I need to go to bed. And you know me if like if I'm like if I'm feeling sick I need to go to bed. Like I feel sick.

Yeah. I feel sick. I mean. And so like my eyes are like literally collapsing. Yeah. On to themselves. Yeah. But it's like I'm out of shows to walk.

Watch. Brett's like, have you seen Succession on like the first two seasons? I'm watching it right now for the first time. It's so good. It's so good. Greg and Tom are really just like. Well, you know people call me cousin Greg. And how funny that you actually know him in real life.

I know. Nicholas Braun, Nicholas, I love you. Period. Nicholas. We did Broadway together. Yeah. I miss it. Yeah.

I miss that era of my life. Well, you know, you're in another fun era right now. You've just been like. Summer. Yeah. I'm really like. My body is really feeling it today. Like I really like I got home and my body is like,

you need to just like take a chill pill. Like I don't even know what I want for dinner. I know. Me either. Honestly. Well, you just keep me posted on your ideas. Yeah. Well, what's this new grocery store?

Laurel Supply. It's the Airwant dupe. Okay. Have you been? What's the vibe? I haven't been. I haven't been. But it literally is like, and I'm not just saying like happier grocery is like

Airwine like copy? No, it's like this is an Airwond dupe. Same plates. But what are people saying about the food? I don't know. I'm intrigued. What is the type of food there? It's like the Buffalo Caulfar, Korean, they have all the same shit. It's the same thing. Sushi counter. I said the sushi counter looks cool. They have like the same smoothies. It's like very weird, honestly. But like, smart, I guess. Do people like it or people on TikTok liking it? People like it. People think that it's more chic. People think this. But like what's the quality of the food? I don't know. I haven't been. I've passed it a few times, and it's right by Barney's beanery in West Hollywood.

I've only been there once. I've never been there. People love it. People say on a Tuesday night, it really pops off. Yeah. Did you have fun watching The Knicks here? So much fun. We watched the last, well, where was I watching?

Oh, I was in bed at the game that you were at. That was so fucking crazy. Insane. It was the crazy experience of my life. It's unreal that you were. You didn't even need to understand how basketball worked to know that it was point for point. Yeah. Was it though?

No, it wasn't point for point. They were like catching up. Yeah. They came back from like 29 points down or something. It was crazy. I mean, I thought they were losing. I thought it was over. Me too.

I thought the game was over. Have you seen Jordan Woods' lucky bag? Yes. I'm so obsessed. Yeah. I love it. And you know it's her own brand too. I didn't know that.

Yeah, it's her own brand and it's her lucky bag. Like it's sick. And her and her fiancee, Carl. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm obsessed with like because there's so much. other like lore of like the team and like jayl so jalen brunson went to a high score right near me fun okay so what's his draft story because apparently it's like emotional he was drafted in the

second round so he wasn't even like a first round draft pick i think you're correct yeah you're correct and then um i don't know anything but there's something about his draft story that makes it so this is like maybe he was supposed to go in the first round and didn't because he had won like a national championship at villanova maybe two he went to villanova yeah they have a good balance football team. So good. Like when they're in their era, yeah, they, they were really good when he was there. And then, like, his dad is like an assistant coach. I didn't know that. Like, I'm just obsessed with it all. Well, do you know that one of the coaches on the Knicks is like the dad of one of the players? Jalen's dad. Yes. And do you know Jalen's dad then won a championship? The last time the Nix won was with his dad.

No, they made it to the championships when his dad was on the team and didn't win. So he won for his dad. I'm sick. Which like gag. I'm sick. Yeah. Are you excited for the Olympics? You mean FIFA? No, the Olympics. In two years?

Uh-huh. Are you excited? I mean, yeah. Are you excited for the World Cup? That's happening now. Yeah, I went to the opening match. Oh yeah, you went. How was that?

It was actually so fun. Look, my thing with soccer is, it's very slow for me. And there's like two goals throughout the entire game. See, so like, I kind of love it because there's no stoppage. What do you mean there's no stop it? Like, like they very rarely stop the game. So I feel like there's just always something, not necessarily going on,

because like, yes, I agree with you that the goals are low, but like, you know, with like hockey, there's like a whistle like every like two minutes. Like soccer's not like that. Like the most they stop a half is like five to like seven minutes, like over the course of 45 minutes. Got it. I'm really freaking out about my hand.

I'm freaking out. If anyone has any remedies for Dequarevins tendonitis, which is what I have, please help me. I'm supposed to work out tomorrow. I don't know how I'm going to work out. Can you just, does it hurt to like grab things? No.

Everything hurts. My body's like creaking. Yeah, you just need a lot of sleep. Well, what else? You're moving end of July. I'm moving in the end of July, which is just, I'm excited about it, but I'm also like, overwhelmed about all the things. But no, I'm excited. It's just like, there's so many things I need to buy.

I keep, like, looking for furniture. and I'm like, oh my God, this is perfect. And then it's like going to be delivered in October. And like, I can't do that. Well, that's the furniture market. I know. And I can't do it. Yeah.

I'm miserable about it. Like the couch I'm getting, the couch we're getting, I guess. It's technically we, which is crazy, is going to take like two months probably. So you need a new couch than a different couch? No, but like I'm really obsessed with this couch. What couch is it? It's from Lulu and Georgia. And it's like really cute.

Got it. And green. Oh, comfy. Have you tried it on? No, because they don't have a fucking showroom here, so I'm really going in blind, but I've heard really good things. Like, my friend has a couch from them and says it's really good. So, yeah, so it's just like, there's just a lot. I also just have to, like, show you the place.

I know, I haven't seen the place all of a sudden. I called Jake, like, literally, before we even inside the leaves. Is I in France? Yeah. You sent me the most passive emoji. What emoji? It's like the soft smile. Oh, that's not passive. That's just like.

You were like wanting to die So then I called you and I said listen You're the first person I'm telling you'd be pissed off if I didn't tell you for a week I wasn't mad I was just like okay You were you said I didn't need this today No I'm beyond happy for you Brett's technically up in June And I was trying to string her along until September So I'm excited but it's like it's crazy

Well tonight we have on Madison Beer Do you have a favorite Madison Beer song? Dear Society oh didn't Peyton love boy shit? Yeah Peyton loves boy shit hurts like hell. Hurts like hell. Hurts like hell. Hurts like hell.

That was our college one. Good and Goodbye. Oh, yeah, good and goodbye. Oh my God. She has so many good songs. Bangers. Love. Okay, well, I love you.

And we're going to do a full, thank you. Even if it's just for a week. We're going to do a full goodbye episode before everything, before Brett moves. Yes. I love you. Love you. Love you, Pussies. Tonight we have on Madison Beer, who just began her locket tour worldwide.

It is amazing. If you have a chance to see it, please go see it. She is incredible. Enjoy the episode. I love you, Pussies. Are you ready? I'm ready. Well, we have Madison Beer on tonight.

Yay. I'm so excited that we're finally doing this. I know. It's like every time I see you, I'm like, let me in, put me in coach. No, we're always like we need to, because you have a very busy schedule. As do you. not as busy as you. Oh, stop it.

We made it work, though. We did make it work. Are you excited for tour? I was like, I'm not going on tour until I see Jake Shane. Well, and you're about to leave for tour. I know. Are you excited or nervous or? Hopefully, when is this coming out after it had already started?

Yeah. Okay, so future me, I hope you're having fun. I hope everything's going well. But as of right now in this moment, I'm definitely in like, I don't want to say panic mode, but this is like my biggest show. Like I have, you know, like a big, well, I guess I could talk about it because it'll be happening. I have like a big set design. Like I have props and, you know, things that are on automation that are spinning and moving.

And there's just a lot of things going on this time. Like my last tour was literally just a staircase and that's it. And then my tour before that was like a tree on stage. Like I've never had a real true like set build. So like the set build, there's so much more lighting. I have a catwalk for the first time. I'm like there's so many things that I've never done that are happening for the first time on this tour. And so I think I'm just feeling nervous, of course.

I'm also kind of dancing, which I'm not a dancer. I wish I was. I feel like you are a dancer. No, I'm really not. Do you have backup dancers? I do. And I think I'm going to like try my best, but yeah. Are you scared?

Do you have fun on tour? I, okay, I feel like I've figured out how to have fun on tour. I think that I used to be, my second tour was really miserable and horrible. Like the shows were amazing. So anyone that went like Love You down. But like the actual tour was really brutal. It was really long. I did mainly three shows in a row.

and then would have one day off, which I just learned very quickly is not sustainable for me. And I think I was also just surrounded by people that didn't really make it fun, honestly. And so it just, I don't know, it just wasn't a good time, sadly. And so that kind of made me be like,

do I even want to ever do this again? Which then I thought was really sad. What album were you touring for that tour? Dude, I'm so messed up. I think that was, I'm pretty sure that was life support. But I loved my dancers.

There was, okay, there was people I loved on the tour, but it was just like the scheduling of it, I think, part was it was just way too much and like way too time consuming and whatever and then my spin in tour which was the last one was better because I feel like I was really around like everyone like everyone like everyone was just so great and I kind of put my foot down and was like if I'm doing another tour

it needs to be not through no threes in a row if there has to be like one it's fine but yeah I need to just like prioritize my sanity um you also can't give a good show if you're not feeling good no I like cut down on the meet and greets I was doing 150 which also just is unfair to the fans Because you want to give every single person that has paid. And then I'm up there for six hours. And I'm like, it's show time. You know, I can't. It wasn't possible.

And then we did 30 on this last tour, which I thought was going to be a lot easier. And it still was a lot because I'm still spending like five, 10 minutes sometimes with people. And like it just, it just was too much. And I felt bad. It got to the point where I was just like, I don't feel like this is fair. Like I feel like it's, you're paying me to like take a selfie when I could just meet you outside and like do the same thing. It just felt weird. So this tour, I'm not doing any meet and greets, which they were upset about, but I think it will help the flow of like my day a lot more.

And I'm doing a Q&A on stage. I was about to say, are you doing sound check? Which I love, like, I love a Q&A sound check party. I feel like it's so much more intimate. Yeah, and I can actually sit there for two hours and just like talk to everybody. It's also like way less pressure. I feel like I'm more comfortable because you're like sitting there. And it's almost like hanging out with a group of friends.

I think the Q&A thing I love because it's just like I have them usually submit questions before and I'll just read off like every question. And it's just fun. And like you said, it does feel like your friends. And like, I'm assuming, obviously, most of the people that go and see me at a Q&A, like, know me really well. So it literally feels like we're having a big hangout. It's the best. What do you call your fan base? No name.

No name. Didn't they try to call themselves the alcoholics? Please. I was like, you guys are 16. You can't say this. No, but there was so many names. I think I named them the imaginers when I was like 13 with an MAD in the middle. So it was like I.

I. That. Please. And that was crazy. Um, they still sometimes will do it. They call themselves beer babes. I've seen like, yeah, like alcoholics beer holics. I'm just like, can we just not have a name?

Right. I think that era has passed us all. Would you, are you doing any old music on tour? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing some songs from life support. Um, I'm doing all of Lockett. I'm doing some from silence between songs. And then I have a fan song every night, which is the first time I'm doing like letting them pick one.

How do they pick? Okay. Again, let's see what actually ends up happening. because it's still being worked out. And I feel like it's kind of right now the concept is there, but it's not executing the way that it needs to be. Like every time we rehearse it, it feels really awkward.

So my whole thing was like, I feel like a lot of shows that you see, especially when there's like fan interaction, it's always the people in the front, which no hate at all. Like those people obviously are like paying the, whatever. But I just feel like I love when it's someone that is like, I never thought I'd be chosen and it could be someone literally in the back of the arena

or the hot, whatever. But it'll change. Like I think I'm planning on doing it. Yeah, some nights might be the kid in the front row. Some nights might be somebody in the nosebleeds, who knows. But I just feel like that inclusivity feels really cool to me. So then I was like, we have to think of something creative. So then that led me to this idea.

I don't know where this came from, but it was kind of like, someone, one of my dancers are going to come on stage and give me this like locket box that I'm going to open and it's going to have three. We have like, I think we have about 15 songs prepped, but each night is going to be a choice of three. So three different songs every night. And which I also was thinking about, sorry, you're going to. I don't know it's very quickly.

I'm like, I bounce a lot. I'm the same way. Like I wish I could figure out a way to let them choose which three of the 15 they want that night. But then I feel like it's always going to be the same three. So I like have to just do it by myself. Or maybe I'll let like sound check choose. I don't know, something.

So basically it'll be three letters in the locket box. That'll be like envelopes. And they're going to say a lyric on the front of it. So it might say like, you know, in these sour times. And then I'll be like, oh, this one says that. And hopefully they'll all scream. I'm hoping they like know the song. I'm nervous they're going to be like, wait, what?

And then I'm going to be like, grew up in the same house, which is a lyric for my song, writer, like, whatever. Read the lyrics that are on the front. And then I'm going to tell my dancer, like, okay, you can go send these out now. And then the second she leaves stage, like a spotlight will go on to someone who will, obviously, there will be a second box. And someone will have delivered the letters to this person with the same box. And they will then have the three options in front of them.

And I want that person to just pick whichever letter they want, open the envelope and inside the envelope to say the name. Oh, that's fine. They can, like, hold it up to the camera and then we sing it. That's fun. That's the idea right now, but it just feels a little clunky. So I'm trying to smooth it out. But you'll, like, figure it out.

I know. The first show, you'll be, like, stressed and then it'll be like, it'll. I'm going to be so stressed the first show. Always. Like, panicking, losing my mind. I'm going to dissociate completely. Do you, like, take a beta blocker or anything? No, I've actually never taken a beta blocker.

They don't work for me. I don't think anything would work for me. I'm like, I need to be sedated, actually. No, they don't. Beta blockers, like, don't work for me. I saw that Rachel Senate video, like, when that first dropped and I was like, oh my God, I need this. And then I was like, I don't think this would work. What does it do?

It's supposed to slow the physical symptoms of anxiety. Please. And I kept saying, I think I'm slurring my words, but I wasn't because it doesn't work. Whoa. It really doesn't work for me. To be honest, I don't get like nervous anxiety. I get more, I think because I'm, my hands are in every department. Like, I'm sitting and programming the lighting.

I'm editing the tour content with the editors. There's not one thing that I'm not a part of. So I think that it's not, it's, it's hard for me to get on stage and just be like, I have to sing good and like do my steps. I'm also like, is the LED wall on? Is the lighting working? Like it's, I don't know. It feels like very involved for me.

So I think I get strep. Am I Virgo? No, my Pisces. Oh, right. You are Pisces. What are you? Scorpio. Okay, water down.

Yeah, watered out. Pikes are by, Pisces women are by Averette. We are the best. You guys are the best. My best friend, Alice is the Pisces woman. Hands down. The best. The best.

The best. The best. The best. Pice's man kind of tricky. That's so funny though. People, my boyfriend is a Pice's man. Is he really? But I would have said the same thing about Pyssey's men before I dated him.

Okay. Would have said the same thing. Would have been like, no, because I had only met, well, actually, that's not true. I know a couple of Pice's men that are good, but I met one man once that was the scariest person I ever met and he was a Pice's man. And I literally was like run from Pice's men. Because they can be tricky. They can be.

But he's a really good one and he's changed my mind, of course. Is he March or February? He's five days after me. He's March 10th. I'm March 5th. Isn't that so special? We can have joint birthday. Joint birthdays for life. I know.

It's incredible. No. It's May. Right. It is May now. We did have a little joint birthday energy last year though. People always ask me from a Virgo though. That's weird that you ask that. Are you, is it in any of your chart at all?

No, but Pisces and Virgo are like direct opposites. And so people are they really? So they say they're like compatible. I don't know. Here's my thing about astrology. I'm totally a believer. Love it. I always am like finding myself.

My bubble is a lot of the same signs. But I feel like there's good and bad in every sign, obviously. Of course. And so, like, I think it's unfair sometimes. Like, to be honest with you, like, I always say Scorpio men are crazy. They are. Well, we're insane. Crazy.

We're insane. But then I'm like, I meet some that I'm like, no, you're great. It's just, it's, to me, it's like, are you a healed one or are you not? Right. Or are you trying to heal? Right. Are you trying to be better? That's it.

And none of the above for me. Really? Yeah. I think you're lying. No. Yes, you're being silly. Maybe I'm like a little healed. Are you in therapy?

Yeah, but I always skip. What do you mean? So you're not in there? No, like I, he's like, it's on the calendar, but it doesn't get it. I always skip. Like, I have two therapy sessions a week. I skip both of them every time. What?

Because it's just, I talk therapy is really bad for me. Okay. I need to do like actual activities. Okay. Or else it doesn't like. I completely understand that. Honestly, I've done a lot of different types of therapy. Reiterating the same shit over and over and I'm spinning.

I know for sure, spinning out. And I'm like, dude, I feel like sometimes with me, I, I feel like sometimes I'll get on with my therapist and I'm like, I actually know the answers to this. Well, that's my thing too. So that's why I'm like I need to do activities. I know.

Yeah. For my OCD or something. Like something to like actually work on. I have really bad OCD too. Do you really? Yeah, really bad. What type? Um,

this is so random, but I feel like mine is very need to know type. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, that's a thing. Yeah. I think that that's my main thing is I think I'm, you need to know everything.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm, I've always labeled that as curiosity, but then I actually recently spoke to a psychiatrist who was like, no, you have like severe OCD. That's not normal. And I was like, oh, okay, that makes me feel better at least because I feel like for so long I thought that I was just maybe like an over.

I'm definitely an overthinker. But I think I thought I diagnosed it as like, oh, I'm just an overthinker who like has anxiety. And my therapist slash psychiatrist was like, no, you, this is like a real thing. I have that too. I feel like it's really, mine's really like I need to know everything. There's definitely more as well posting. This sounds so stupid, but like posting on social media. It's really not. It doesn't sound stupid to me.

Spikes is like a huge trigger for my anxiety. My OCD. I like I feel like it's been getting progressively worse as the years have gone on. Like it's really difficult for me to just like post on Instagram, which sounds pathetic. But it's true. No, it's I, I have a hard time commenting. It's like, does it not, you like sit there and you're like, I don't know what to say or do. I think if I comment the wrong thing, I'll get bad luck.

Oh my God. So like I go crazy. Wait, were you the kind of kid that you? You were like, if I don't, if I don't spin in circles three times, my parents are going to die, because that's how I am. That's always how I've been my whole life. Never knew that was an OCD thing. It's called a magical thinking, OCD. What?

Yeah. I've never heard of that. I literally used to do that growing up. I'd be like, oh my God, I have to walk back three steps or my whole family is going to die in a fire. What the hell? I would, like, count it to two and, like, it was like a whole thing. Oh, my God. Clearly, I don't know that much about OCD.

This is a new diagnosis for me. It's being talked about a little more. I also discovered I have confessional OCD, which is like I need to, like, if I lie, I have to tell you I lied. For sure I have that. I have to tell you everything about myself. So like someone can't like find out about me. Oh my God. Yeah.

That is exactly how I am. I'm like, well, this is who I am, like take it or leave it or else. I'm bearing my soul. Yeah. Oh my God. I wonder, is like oversharing a compulsion? Yeah. Yes.

That's, yeah. I one time there was a really, this is what made me actually want to seek out help because my someone that was on my crew on my tour has like diagnosed OCD has been diagnosed OCD has been diagnosed for like 10 years. And there was one day on tour, last tour, where it was like, guys, let's meet in the lobby at noon. We're all going to go get lunch. And I was like, amazing.

See you guys down there. Just posting on Instagram really quick. This is at 10.30. So like plenty of time to get an Instagram post up and then get to lunch. An hour and a half. Yeah. And I legitimately didn't leave my room until 4.30 p.m. I'm not joking.

And I was sitting there and I was like, this is disturbed. What about it scares you so much? What is it? Oh, my God. feel like it's weird because I think it's just something I think I have control issues as well like I definitely feel like I've felt out of control a lot like even in my childhood pre all of this like whatever I think I've had a lot of issues with control I think that's also where my death anxiety comes from a whole different conversation anyhow but yeah I think that for me social media has been something

throughout such a big portion of people don't realize that I've been on like social media since I'm 12 but you like start your career started on social media yeah like my first ever thing was on YouTube and then on Twitter was how Justin tweeted about me and discovered me. So it's just been, it's been a really big constant in my life. And I think just the more time that goes on, I care less about it now in the sense of like I can step away. I can like not read hate.

I think I'm at peace with who I am. And I'm like, if you don't like me, that's fine. But I don't know. I think especially on tour, it probably has a lot to do with like, I'm putting so much work and effort into this that I want everything to convey the right message. I also, that's like a really big thing of mine where I'm like, I hope that everything I do conveys the right message, which is not possible to do it an Instagram post. And also,

I feel like it's more stressful on tour because you have to deal with whatever you read and then get on stage. Yeah. And like still deliver the same show even if like you read something that's like, I didn't like it. Yeah. You're like, wait what? Like I remember when like someone was like, I hated that show and I I have to get on stage the next night and do it. And I was like, I, what am I supposed to do right now? No, it's horrible. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know.

I don't know the specifics, like why I freak out so much. I think it's just like a, it's a lack of control, lack of knowing how it's going to come across, lack of, like, ability to dictate the perception. It's just all of it. I think it's too much for me. Yeah. I don't think I was cut out to like be in any type of. But you were, I don't know.

You had so many iconic moments on the internet. You know what? And I've accepted them now. Like I think for a long time I was really embarrassed by some of those like viral things. Well, because they were very much so hated on when they happened. They were. It wasn't. Now it's like a meme and it's funny.

We love it. Like who's your friend? I was supposed to be in the video. Like there's, these are, these are historical moments. Who's your friend? History. You know what? Who's your friend?

I look back and I'm like, I was 16 and I had balls on me. Good for her. I was like, Valenciauga City bag. Yeah. Converse lace to the top. I was like, I'm ready to go, you know? Who is your friend? Who's your friend?

What do you mean? And also, what do you mean? Your friend? Yeah. Who? Yeah. Tell me the name. Crazy.

So I look back and I can be proud of that younger version because I'm like, you know what? You stood on business. I really did. But people say that like, people like really are like, no, but she asked to talk in private too. Like, it's such emotional maturity. Like at the time, people were not saying that.

You know what? At the time, no one said that. You know what? Actually, I remember vividly. People were like, she wanted to talk in private because she was in I'm like, no. No. No, no.

I asked her to talk in private because I could, I looked around and I said, this is giving bullying and I don't like this. And so I said, we can talk in private. We don't talk in front of everybody. Like, come on. I, dude, but then you have to understand. This was also like peak mag con hell for me where like every single fan on earth wanted me dead. And so it was, is that what happened? Yes, that was in the video the girl literally says, um, oh yeah, you hurt my friend.

Or like she said something about and I remember I was like, who? And I remember I was like, who? What the hell? So, yeah, people don't realize that, like, that was a very intense time on the internet. Did you ever see the video of these girls standing outside of, I'm pretty sure it was, like, a mag con show, and literally this girl films, and she goes,

scream if you hate Madison Beer, and 500 girls just scream at their last. You're lying. That time was, like, such an unpoliced era of, like, social media. When I was genuinely just trying to confront someone who was being like really mean to me on the internet. And the story is me and that girl ended up talking. I see her out and about in LA to this day. No, you don't.

She's a very nice girl. She's a very nice girl. Okay. And like honestly, we have no, no issues at all. We squashed it that day. But no issue. But yeah. In private.

But even the, I was supposed to be in the video. All of my things on the internet were not received well when they happened. Right. Now we can all laugh. I'm laughing now. Yeah. But then, oh, it was bad. Do you like, what did it feel like?

Well, it just felt embarrassing. And I was like, am I literally queen of cringe? Like, what is going on? And then it makes you also second guess everything you say. And that was my issue is then I feel like it negatively affected my general life because I would say something like with really pure intentions. Because even the I was supposed to be in the video thing was so pure intentioned. I was just talking to a group of people and thank you next to just come out.

And I was like, wait, guys, like I have tea. Yeah, it was supposed to be in the video. I thought I was telling them tea and it was like something cute. And I think that it, the hardest part of. all of those types of things was having to be like, oh, wait, I can do something that I think is pure intentioned and fine. And then the internet can be like, oh, my God, she's so cringy and annoying. And then it makes me, like, question my personality.

And it made me just be like, am I cringy and annoying? And is that who I am? And so I think that sucked. And I was really young. I mean, I was 20 when the video thing happened. And then I was, like, 16 when the other thing happened. And I feel like it's also like, you're then talking and you're like, and you say something. and then you think about how like it could be twisted or like someone yeah it's crazy which that's not

how we should be living no to me that's just not conducive to society like I feel like we should I don't know we should operate with a lot more like grace with people it's it's a scary time you imagine if TikTok was around during the macon days please I truthfully wouldn't be sitting here right now like I couldn't it was too much even when it was just like Twitter and Instagram yeah the amount of hate pages I had back then hate you had hate pages you don't understand I think there was more hate pages than there were fan pages. And would what, I hate Madison Beer XO XO XO.

I hope Madison Beer dies. Like it was like crazy. It was crazy. My mother used to literally, this is crazy. My mom used to find if someone had like a hate page or I'd left a hate comment, my mom was so against the bullying that she would find the person and try to find their Facebook and then like reach out to their parents and be like your child is bully.

Good for her. Yeah. No, my mom was so, well, because she just would see how it would affect me and like someone, and it was always. apology and it was always like well because of course yeah but I'm like your kid told my kid to kill herself and my mom would literally say that all the time and it was like 12 year olds it was literally like oh kill yourself what um whoa yeah my mom did not Tracy beer does not mess around she was like I'm telling she was

like I'm telling on you yeah literally that's what she said to all these kids did you get apologies ever you got apologies you said um I think sometimes people have honestly it's been it's been really weird in the last couple years people have actually come up to me and been like I just want to say like I'm so sorry I definitely like bullied you when we were kids and I'm like oh it's like you grew up together I know it is it really it was like it was like I also got pulled out of school in seventh grade so this was my like middle high school experience was the internet yeah pulled out in seventh grade I got signed when I was 12 that's crazy I know sometimes I'll meet people like in my meeting greets and they were like I'm 12 and I'm like it's past your bedtime and then like all my my

my god, I was signed. You were a working girl. What the hell? I feel like you're very healed from that era. Thank you. I try. I feel like you are. I think that like I really don't believe in carrying animosity or like being someone that just

like seeds all the time. Like I really think it's not good for you. And I think I'm someone who harps on things. I spin out. I'm like, it's not good for me. And I think I there's, yeah, there's so much I can sit here and be like, this person did me wrong and this was fucked up. And even all those kids who hated on me, I'm like, I.

I release all of that. I try really hard to like let go. And yeah, I just try not to hold on to things that don't really serve me. And I think I have a lot of empathy for other people too. Maybe sometimes when it's not deserved, but I'm like, well, you probably were hurting if you were commenting on my posts,

these things or whatever. But yeah, I do think that I've healed a good amount as much as I can be. I try to be like thankful for where I'm at. And when I do have my moments of like whatever it might be, I try to just be like, this is really good given what, my situation could be if I hadn't done all this work, you know.

Right. So, yeah. So you're, like, happy. I am happy. I really am. Like, I think that I think that I have come into myself in a way that I'm really proud of. Like, yeah. Cheers to that.

Right. Eyes. Cheers. Cheers. I'm, like, trying not to whack the microphone out of your hand. Well, congratulations. Thanks. And the new album is fucking phenomenal.

Thank you. The shower. Yes. It's amazing. Wait, my favorite. Angel wakes. Fire! Bangor!

Are you doing it on tour? Yes, I'm doing the whole album on tour. Angel Wings is cute too because it has a really sickening visual that plays before it. And then, so, okay, I have this, like, it's, to me, it's like a wind-up, like, music box. So there's a part where I come out of it, like, spinning for Reckless. And then there's also a part where it turns like this and it has a heart cut out in the front of it. So I sit in the heart for Angel Wings. It, like, spins me out.

And I'm, like, cutesy in the heart. That's fun. So, yeah, it's really cute. But I love Angel Wings. I'm glad you like that one. Yeah, fire. Do you have a favorite song to perform? My favorite song to sing is my song Envy the Leaves,

which I doubt you've ever heard. It's a very deep cut off of silence. I'm like, which album is it on? Silence between songs. And I just love it so much. Like, I don't, do you sing? No. Not at all.

Like, I could give a note. Okay. But like I just, you know, I'm like, give a note. I could give you a note. I feel like I, I'm sure a lot of people who sing also can, like, relate to this. Where some songs just, like, take you completely out of your body and you just sing. and you almost like you black out and you don't even know

that you just sang a song. That's what that song does for me and I feel like every time I sing it, I just, especially on tour, I'll sing the whole thing. And then I'm like, oh, the song's over. Did I even just say a lyric? I don't know.

Yeah, so I think that's my favorite. It's just beautiful. Which song has like the loudest crowd sing back? Ooh, maybe boy shit, which is an old song, but they love boy shit. They love boy shit. Envy the leaves, honestly, they love too because I think it's become like a fan,

cult classic vibe. I'm trying to think of what else gets always a big reaction. Reckless, I think is it's probably, it's my biggest song. I'm hoping that Make You Mind gets a big reaction when they hear that, ah, ah. Yeah, Make You Mine will.

Maybe Bittersweet too. Yeah, Bittersweet is ending the show. Oh, really? Yeah. And what's starting it? Yes, baby. Fire. Yeah, so coming out, sexy mama

and then ending on like a cute sweet note. Originally, Make You Mine was ending the show and it just didn't feel. Bitter sweet makes sense to end. Bitter sweet feels like confetti in a song and I have confetti in it. So I'm just like, it needs to be something I can spin and like have a good time.

Right. You know? I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see the show. Thanks. So you're going to come to L.A.? I want to come to MSG. Please.

That's what I want. That's the show to come to. This episode of Therapus is brought to you by booking.com. Booking dot yeah. Well, it's officially summer. It's summer and it's time to plan those trips. I'm planning. those trips means first and foremost finding a place to stay for those trips. If you're going to

see a festival, if you're going for a weekend getaway, you need to have a roof over your head unless you're going camping.com provides the best resource for finding a place to stay because it allows every single person to put in their needs for whatever they need tub. Like for example, in this episode of therapist, Madison says she needs a tub in every hotel room she stays in. And you can put that into booking.com and find a place to stay. And you can find a place that has a tub for your friend, a shower for your other friend, a terrace, walkability. You can really make a fully well-rounded trip on booking.com.

As you guys know, on tour, I'd literally end up in a city with nowhere to stay. And Matt would have to go on booking.com and type in whatever one wants, and we would find a place to stay. Find exactly what you're booking for at booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! Book today on the site or in the app. Thank you, Sea Geek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. So not only is Madison going on tour, so is Ariana Grande, so is Charlie X-CX. Everyone is going on tour again, it feels like.

And the best place to get tickets for these tours is on Seekek. Also, the World Cup is in the U.S. this summer. To get tickets to the World Cup, you can do it on Seekek. Like, they provide ticketing for any live event. Comedy, sports, music, Broadway, anything, you can get your tickets on Seekkeek. When you go to the site and buy a ticket, you will know that the seat is good. And they have a rating system from 1 to 10, 1 being not the best, 10 being the best. You know if you're, like, getting a good deal.

You can also use Code Therapus for 10% off your order. And if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code therapist for 10% off your order. But we are seeing Ariana this week. We are so excited. I would like to make it to a World Cup game. As we all know, Knicks and 5, the Knicks just won. I'm a basketball fan.

So when basketball season comes around again, you can get tickets on Seekek. They really are just the best place to get tickets for any event that you, any live event that you would like to go to. Once again, you can use code Therapeutus for 10% off. And if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code.

Thank you again, Seatkeek for sponsoring tonight's episode. Well, what are you therapists about today? Today? Today's a good day. But okay, let me try to channel up my energy. Today is so far. Good. I woke up bad though.

What? Okay, so can you answer first? I had a dream that I broke every bone in my body. I have the worst dreams every night. And so, and I woke up and my whole body was so stiff and like. You were like, do you ever have that thing where you're like, am I broken? Yes. Was that real?

Yes. I woke up in my back hurt and everything hurt because my dream. Dude. I broke in. I was at. I was with. I forget the dream was weird. But I remember walking around with broken bones.

And then going to the. Apple store and like not being it. It was so weird. What is what are dreams? I was the question. Right. What's going on? I think you're tapped into that. I am so confused. I feel like every time I go to bed, I'm like, well, we'll see what happens tonight. It's always something traumatic. It's always something horrible. I think I was like skinning someone last night in my dream. Yep. Legitimately. You know it's because the full moon is it. It's the full moon's in Scorpio. Okay. And so it's, that makes sense you're skinning someone because it's like, no, because you're like releasing. It's about, it's about unearthed.

stuff that you haven't gotten out. No, I think I just watched that like Ed Gein documentary and I think it just stuck with me. Yeah. So I think that might have maybe stuck with me a little too hard. I'm good usually with like scary stuff. That I told everyone I would literally, when it first came out, this was a couple months ago. I would literally go up to me like if you're considering watching it, don't.

Which documentary is it? I want to watch it now. No, don't. Like actually, you know, I'm being so for real. Like I don't get easily traumatized and scared of things. Well, I get easily traumatized, I guess. But I don't get like freaked out by true crime stuff. This is like Ryan Murphy.

if you're watching this, I'm scared of you. Oh, was it the Ryan Murphy one? Yeah, well, you know how there was like the Menendez brothers? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This was disturbing on a level that you, we don't need to see this. I couldn't watch the Jeffrey Dahmer one. See, I watched that one and it didn't like. Oh, I couldn't.

No, the Edgine one is like way more, it's like way more like graphic. I can't even. Like talking about it makes me feel sick. But to piggyback off of your dream, my, I'm therapist about my dream the other day. I literally had a dream that, and this is probably just like old, old stuff coming up because I had a dream. Tell me this has ever happened to you. I had a dream that my boyfriend was like being really mean to me.

He would never in a million years. But like in the dream, he was like being so mean to me. And I woke in the dream. I woke up and he was next to me. And I was like, hey, like, why did you, why were you so mean to me? And he was just still being mean. I was still in the dream. And then I woke up in real life.

You've never woken up in a dream. No. Yes. And it's the freakyest feeling in the world. I literally was like when I woke up actually in real life he was I was like did that just happen? And I literally for 10 minutes didn't know if it happened or not. And then I was like I've had dreams where I don't know if it happened, but I've never Well, I was like it couldn't have happened because he would never treat me like that.

But like this felt so real especially because I woke up in my bed in my room. He was next to me and I was like, why were you doing that to me? And he was just like, I don't know. Like whatever. And then when I woke up in real life, I was like, do I wake him? Like I almost woke him. I was like, babe, I just had a really scary dream. So I think I'm just pissed about, yeah, my dreams, like sometimes ruining my day.

Yeah, ruining my day. But I'll fight with people about the dream. It's insane. It's insane how dreams. Like, I'm just like, where do we go? Yeah. And I know there's like the scientific side of it, but I'm like, no, I'm living another life. I Google what they, I googled what it meant when I broke all my bones.

But do you believe that? I do. I do. It meant because I would woke up so stiff and I knew I'm so, there's some things that I'm like so anxious about and I know like I just I knew what that dream was trying to tell me and I just was like what was what was it was just like you are not secure with you're overdoing it you're overdoing the just everything no like you're overdoing the like you're working out but you're not doing it like oh yeah aren't you on like a yes I'm on like a health care wait how's that going it's it's good are you loving like

the way you feel. So yes, but I felt really sore yesterday. Well, of course. And so I didn't realize I had so much weight to lose until I looked back at old photos and I was like,

ooh! Wait, I feel like I've never thought that once about you. I'll text you photos. I'll text you photos. Now I'm just invested. No, like, but so basically that that's what my dream was about. Was about like just like.

Dial it back a little. I think I'm just like, I'm overdoing it to the point where it's not healthy. Totally. Yeah. I think that can happen for sure. I'm working out to the point where it's like, at this point I'm just moving.

You're just like exhausting yourself too. Yeah, I feel like I'm, 27 now. How old are you? 26. Oh, so you're in your time return. Yeah, which is feeling good so far. Right? I feel like you're having a pretty good one. Well, I'm like, I don't feel, people are like, everything's gonna change.

I feel like sometimes I read that it starts when you were 25 for some people. It does. I think that mine, like, I think my whole world shifted when I was 26. Like, everything changed. In a good way or a bad way? In a good way.

I mean, it definitely was like so, much was changing and shedding and like it felt like everything was literally like turning um but now i feel like it all was protecting me and like it was all good things but definitely like intense stuff i spoke to someone yesterday and they were like it can start with something in your body maybe that's why i had that dream because i'm like i'm like 26 i'm like having like stomach shit my bones are kind of starting to hurt and so i'm like oh this is the start damn i know see what i was going to say is I'm 27 now and I thought that by now I'd be like wanting to work out. I hate working out.

I'm not one of those people. Well, you look good. I appreciate that, but like I could, I could be better. And I'm just like, I don't care. Well, I care. It helps your mental. It helps your mental. People say that to me.

It really does. Sitting in my bed helps my mental. I like to sit in my bed or my bathtub. You like a bath? You hate a bath? I hate a bad. You get hot. I get me the fuck out of here.

Really? Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a really. I love a shower. Love a shower as well. Like it's not like the bath. It's different.

You don't take a bath to like, at least for me, I'm speaking on the on, you know, for the bath community. But like I don't take a bath to get clean necessarily. Sometimes I'll even shower and then take a bath. Right. The bath is really just a place for me to feel safe and secure and warm and. I sit in the shower. That's my thing. I sit in the shower too.

I sit. I like, I'm aquatic. Yeah. Water signs. Oh, is it. Okay. So do we like water? I mean, I think so.

Like, I love a body of water. Yeah. I probably loved the womb. Yeah, probably. I like to just be in, yeah, warm water. Well, you'll be touring in Europe. Like, tell me why, like, I watched The Matrix and he's in that, like, big, like, vat of goo.

And I was like, oh, my God, that looks so nice. You know, I'm like, I'm into it. So, yeah, I think I'm a little bit weird about it. Like, on tour, all my hotel rooms have to have a bath. Oh, really? Not negotiable. Okay. You're like Meredith Marks.

Okay. Do you watch Housewives? No. She's infamous. I don't know who that is. She's infamous. Do you watch Vanderpumbril's? No, I don't.

That's her favorite show of all time. Okay, do you want to sit in his seat really quickly so we can talk? She's like obsessed with Stasi like. Please, I can't. No, like my queen. Is it that good? Stop. Really?

If you like housewives, forget it. To me, it blows out of the water. There's no comparison. Like, you're going to freak out. Okay, but what is so good about it? I'm honestly like we need to do a part two to this podcast after you watch Vanderpumperl's. I think I might start it tonight on my flight. The sickest show of all time.

Yeah. What's so good about it? I think there's really... You're like, let me tell you. Yeah, no, I'll sell you on this. Like, there's no show that is also following this friend group from like their, what, like, early 20s to then like all... They're like all...

Well, okay, so they all worked at Sir together. Yeah, Sir. Yeah, Sir. Like, Sir, Pump, there's so many of them. They all worked at Sir. They're all like bartenders and stuff and like, wait, stuff, whatever. They all work at Sir and that's Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they just... It's... Like the show was originally just following the kids that worked at her restaurant because they're so drama, obviously. But then it like, it totally exceeds the sur storyline. Like it becomes so much more about like their dynamics. Right. So many new characters come in. It's unbelievable.

I've seen every episode three times. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. The only thing I've watched from it is the season with Scandival. Scannibal. Well, that's how I originally got into it was I watched Scandival and then I said, I need to know the whole tea. Like obviously it was crazy even if you don't know. anything, but I'm like, I need to know, I need to watch the dynamics. I need to see, like,

you can watch when Tom was cheating on Ariana with Raquel, like, in real time. Like, when they were, they don't like cheat on the show, but you can see them interact and you, once you know they were cheating then, you look back and you're like, oh my God, it's like obvious. Like you guys are like flirting with each other. You're like looking at each other. There's one episode where Tom like grabs Raquel and is like, um, he says, he like squeezes her hand right next to his girlfriend. I'm like, you're sick.

Are you Jewish? Yes. Okay. I'm like, I'm getting, I'm like, I'm not understanding. You can hear it too.

No, it's, it's my friends will trip out to me because I'll meet someone out in public and I'm like, oh, where did you grow up? And they're like, where did you grow up?

And they're like, where'd you go to camp? Where'd you go to college? Oh, I know four people, you know. And then it always happens. And if you don't know like the Jewish geography game, it's unbelievable to you.

I love it. I love to meet someone where I'm like, you don't think we have a connection, we do. Yeah, where you grew up in Jericho, right? I grew up in Jericho, Long Island, and yeah, all my friends either went to like Wisconsin, Michigan, or... Did you ever visit them? I went to Michigan, yeah, when I was not went to for school, but I went to visit in their freshman year.

Was it fun? Well, frat boys were really scary. Yep. Well, yes. Didn't know that, you know? Really scary. There was a lot of like, I remember like a lot of beer being like spun. Oh, I love that.

And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. And I was very, I've never even been to, like, prom or homecoming. Like, I've never done anything. So I was- But you came to a few USC tailgates. I did go to USC a couple of times, and I, I had friends that were in Lambda Chi, and it was fun. What was it called? The atrium?

Stop! You know, like, stop. It was fun. I was so fun. I was also, like, 19. So I was, well, I guess that is how old you are in college, duh, but I was, like, everyone that I was friends with was older. And so I was kind of, like, I felt so cool, and I would wear the little, like, USC office.

And then the window above the atrium, you can look out. I have videos that are going to blow your mind right now. I want to see them. I'm spraying champagne out of the window. It's so fun. The best ever. I honestly have this weird thing where I'll, are you very emotional? Like, do you cry a lot?

I don't cry, but I'm very, like, sensitive. Okay, same. I literally can't watch college football games because I will literally cry because I feel like I really missed out on a fun part of my life. I barely went to any games. But it seems so fun. It was. It was.

I know. I know. And I feel like I really. really missed out on like a lot of stuff. I mean, granted, I was doing, pursuing my dreams. Like, I'm grateful for what I was doing. But I feel like people don't realize, like, that's something I'll never be able to get back.

It's like those college years. There was, there are certain moments where it's like, you wake up and it's like, it's 8 a.m. We're pre-gaming. It's fun. Like, what the hell. But I never got what she got. Like, she went to Bama.

And like, I never got that college experience. See, that sounds so fun. It was. Yeah. Oh, I know. My goodness. She said it was the best time of her life. Summer camp for me was that.

Exactly. But I also stopped going when I was 11. So I'm like how many years that I really have. But also like you get to. I was like in LA at 15. I was like sold out crowds of thousands of people. Of course. But I'm like I should have.

I do also sometimes feel socially a little stunted because I didn't go to high school or college. Really? Yeah. I feel like I'm really awkward sometimes. I don't think you're awkward at all. Really? At all. I feel like every conversation I enter, I leave being like, oh my God.

I. Well, that's normal. Really? For me. We're doing. For us. Yeah. I feel like I am always.

I don't know. And sometimes I feel like I am hard on myself. because I don't do well, like, in party environments for a long time. I think you're harder on yourself, maybe. I don't know if I'm reading into this, because you grew up on social so intensely. So you, like, you view, like, conversations, like, everything feels like, was I just what I said, like, normal in, like, is that, you know what I mean? Nothing feels normal.

Nothing feels normal is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. And then I'm like, why is it 10 p.m. And I, like, really want to go home. Always. Are you, like, an isolator? I stay. I stay.

Well, when I smoking. Because that's like a problem for me where I'm like, oh, you smoke weed. Yeah. When I'm smoking. I stopped smoking weed like a year ago. Oh, really? Yeah, like fully quit because it just, I had one night where I was like, oh my God, I'm going to die one day and be in a coffin forever.

Yeah. Didn't love that thought when I was stoned. So then I said, I'm going to put that down. I stopped for nine months. Then I started again. I probably shouldn't be doing it. But like there's like five or ten minutes where like my creativity hits like the biggest peak.

And I'm like, I feel like the when it's good, it's great. Or when you're also around really. funny people and you're just laughing so hard, like some of the best nights of my life. But I just think my brain is too wired. I feel like my brain sabotages itself. Well, me, I guess. Like it, I feel like I'm always like, okay, don't think about this one thing. Can't help it.

Right. Of course. Like when I'm on a plane, I'm just like picturing it going down. Like I'm freaking out. Always. You guys, Prime Day is almost here, which means it's time to get those shopping carts ready and press ad to cart because the savings are big. Okay?

If you know me, you know some of my prime purchases have genuinely altered my life. For example, I have a beard trimmer that I got on Prime Day that like saves my life when I don't want to like fully like clothes shave. I just want to do a quick little trim. I know it sounds silly, but it's really helpful. I got a new computer on Prime Day last year. I get some of my pillows on Prime Day, like some blankets, like anything that brings me comfort and convenience I get on Prime Day.

Also, my portable charger just gets me through my life that I got on Prime Day last. year. So in honor of Prime Day, we will be doing a special, tell me what's wrong segment where I will be prescribing special Prime Day deals to help you solve all your problems. I love my boyfriend, but he sleeps with his eyes open and it's terrifying. Every time I roll over, I see him just staring blankly, and it freaks me out to the point where I can't go back to sleep. Can I train him to stop doing this? Unfortunately, no, you can't. But what you can get him is a special silk sleeping mask that he will want to wear, and he'll put it on and he'll never want to take it off, and then you'll never have to roll over to your boyfriend with his eyes open again

because his eyes will just be open under a silk sleeping mask. I recently started therapy, but I have this problem where every time I go into a session, I literally forget everything that's happened to me or anything I was upset about during the week. And then I feel like I have literally nothing to talk to her about. What do I do to fix this and get the most out of therapy? I would prescribe a cute, nice journal

that you can get on a prime day deal to write all those things that you might forget down so that when you go into therapy, you can come and prepare it. I lied to a boy and told him I read a bunch of books that I never actually read, and now I'm panic. He's going to ask me about them. I really have a hard time reading, but now I don't know what to do because he's the hottest guy I've ever seen. And honestly, I feel like I should start becoming a reader anyway. I completely understand this.

I sometimes lie in courtships all the time to make the person like me. But the good thing is that what you lied about is fixable. All you need to do is get an e-reader on Amazon's Prime Day deal. It makes reading so much easier. It makes reading more accessible to a... more digital-centric mind, if that makes sense. The time is now so everyone adds a card because these deals were worth the weight.

Shop Prime Day, June 23rd through 26. Are you a bad flyer? No. I'm like, you need to give me like a dose for a horse. Yeah. And it's still not working. Right. I'm like, sorry, flight, pendant.

That's what this is. They're like, ma'am. No, yeah, I am out. I did ketamine therapy. Okay. Please, my best friend loves it. more than anything in the entire world. She says it changed her life.

Okay. Tell me, did it, is it? How many times has she done it? A lot. Okay. I've only done it three times, which I think is like, I thought that was a lot.

And did it? What, what, what, what's the, I'm scared to do it. You should be because honestly, and okay, I'm not also, anything I talk about regarding, like, medicine or, like,

therapy, you have to remember it's, like, from my experience. But that's your journey. I feel like we need to allow people to, like, talk about their own medical journeys. But I'm just saying, like, you can't take what I'm saying and have it be like,

oh, I can't do it. Like, this is what happened to me. I really enjoyed it and I feel like it was very transformative. And the women that I did it with are incredible and, like, so beautiful. And they just, like, made me feel so safe. While I was in it, like, loved it. Thought it was amazing. I think afterwards I felt really sick and nauseated, which is fine.

And like, that's not a huge deal. Mine, I think I had a lot of, I was going through a really intense breakup. And so I was just like, I need something like bigger than talk therapy because I just was feeling really rocked, like in a way that I didn't feel I could recover from without some extra help. And my friend had done it. And she was like, I really recommend it. And she had gone through a really traumatic like breakup and whatever. And so I was like, you know what? I am, I'm also really into mental health and like self-help. And so I'm like, I'll just try it. And if I hate it, I'll never do it again. Like, what's the worst that can really happen? And I fully left my body.

I don't know if your friend says this. I can't do. Yeah, like I was not in the room. I can't do that. Yeah, I was like. bugs me out like she's like oh i travel continents yeah no for yeah like not even continents like you're not you're not on like any type of fathomable like you don't have an existence like i kept saying i'm it's everywhereness like when i was really high i would say that and they're like yeah honey it is and like it was just very like the only way i could describe it is you go fully internal right so i'm like basically here let me paint you the picture also you could do it in this room because like i had plushies all on me, like weighted ones.

Oh, the juice, did they give you juice? No. Oh, my friend goes to, they give her little juice boxes. What? Oh, I was robbed. Yeah. I didn't get no juice box. But I was laying there and I was just like, okay, here we go.

And then you start to just obviously feel it. And I am a talker. I just love to run my mouth. And so I was just talking and talking. And then I didn't want to put the eye mask on because I'm also a bit scared of the dark. And so I was like, I don't want to put the eye mask on. I don't want to be wearing headphones.

Like I need to feel like I'm still in this room a little bit, you get to a point where you like can no longer talk and you no longer can participate in like, you can't see anything. I don't know how to explain it for me. I fully was like, okay, time to put the blindfold on because it's almost more comfortable to not see because there's so much happening in the room. So I put the blindfold on. I laid back and I feel like I went fully into my own like soul. I don't know how to explain it. And there was just no, I had no ability of knowing that I was in a body or that I was myself. You don't really have thoughts, but you're kind of just, I don't know how to explain it

without sounding insane. I'm not sold. It's a very, I wish I was told how intensive an experience it was going to be, because my friend who told me, it was like, oh, it's just like, chill. No, I'm like, babe, I astral projected. Like, what do you mean? It was chill. Like, that was not chill at all.

And also, you think it's like 10 minutes and it's three hours. So that was a, it was a crazy experience, but I do think it helped me a lot. I think it helped me specifically with my death anxiety because it made me feel like I can be detached from my body and it's not such a scary thing. Okay. Yeah. So maybe I will give it a go. Just be prepared.

Like you're leaving. Yeah. You're leaving. I'm letting Hashem take the wheel. You're going. Yeah. Full blown. All right.

You ready to tell me what's wrongs? Tell me what's wrong. It's so cute. I started dating this guy and he's great, but he works way too much like all the time. The only time I see him is in the evening. But the sex is good and he pays for everything. I like legit have nothing to do during the day because he takes care of me. But I'm starting to get uncomfortable.

with how comfortable I am, if that makes sense. Yes, it does. And you need to watch Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Is that all you, that's all you have to say. That's all I have to say, because there's a girl on there. I don't know her name. I forget her name because it just started. But she has this sugar daddy pay for everything.

So is this giving sugar daddy? I mean. It didn't sound like that. I started eating this guy and he's great, but he worked way too much. But it sounds like he just works during the day. But my advice to this person would be, I don't think you should, like, your whole life shouldn't revolve around him. You should have something to do with yourself also during the day.

Well, that's what the, is happening on the real housewise right now she's like i feel like i'm going crazy well yeah you need to like your relationship should be a huge part of your life but you should also have like things outside of it you should be self-sufficient and like make your own money and be financially don't even though he's taken care of you don't you don't want to rely on anybody and yeah especially man no never and like you need to like you're like you need to god forbid something happens like you need to you need to be okay to be alone alone for sure for sure so i would watch real housewives and maybe also read have you heard about the book.

What is it? Strangers. Yeah, but that happens. This woman is like, it's about this woman and her husband leaves her during COVID for another woman. And she has to be like completely financially independent and it's like horrible. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

It's like horrible. She has a horrible experience. Yeah. Okay. That breaks my heart. I know. It's really sad. My friend read it said she couldn't stop crying.

It was like this. Yeah. She said everyone needs to read it. Is it true? Is it true story? It's a true story. Oh, my goodness. I know.

He literally, like... I can't watch Euphoria because I'm like, it's too close to home. I'm back in the deep end with euphoria. Yeah, well, because isn't it? It's airing right now, right? Like, Cassie and Nate's wedding just happened. Yeah, but I thought I was gone.

Like, I thought they lost me. I really thought they lost me. I'm sure they know how to suck people back in. I watched the last... It was first episode, I was like, okay. So can you give me a brief, like, what's going on? Because I, the only thing I know... The only thing I know is that Cassie and Nate were cheating on mass.

Like, well, Nate was cheating on Maddie. That's, like, the only thing I know about the show. Maddie goes to their wedding. Did you watch cheated rivalry? Sorry. Of course I watched. Okay, we need to talk with that after. But, yeah, go ahead.

Maddie goes to their wedding and, like, it's just, like, really, like, they put, the actors, like, really put on a good show. Like, they put on a great performance in my mind. Like, Sidney's, what was she doing? Sobbing blood, screaming. What blood from what? Nate owns, Nate owes people money. Oh, so they came in, like, beat.

Yeah. A lot. Yeah, well, they beat him up and then she gets hit in the crossfire. It's like insane. Whoa. Yeah. Are they supposed to be like adults now? Well, so this is my thing.

How many years later is this? They're like, this is post grads, but we left off when they were 17. It's like, are we 10 years into the people? They were 17 and you for a year? No. 16, 17. That is not how 16. 17.

I know. I know, but now I'm like, this is not how people act postgrad. So I'm confused. There's supposed to be 22. Now? No, it doesn't make sense. Are you sure about that? I thought it was wow.

Yeah, they jumped five years. They should have been 22 in the first season. Right. Or like 20 or something. Oh, M.G. Yeah. But I'm back.

I'm like really like. Were you obsessed with hated rivalry? It sent me into like genuine psychosis. Me too. I remember life before it and after. I was like, oh. But I was like, wait.

My friend was like, please, please do not watch it until after New Year's because that era of like, or the area between Christmas and New Year's is so dark, especially when you're like Jewish and you're like, what am I fucking doing? And like, I was like, Like, I watched it during that time period and I was like stoned all day and I was just like, oh, this isn't.

I can't do this right now. Have you met any of the actors? No, but are you like more of a Connor or you've met all of them? I'm jealous. Then they're so kind. So lovely. I think I'd like not be able to act normal around them. I did.

Of course I did. I would not be able to act normal. I watched Connor in a movie before he did rivalry came out, this like gay movie called Riley. And I remember seeing. it and then I saw you do robbery and I was like oh this guy looks really familiar oh my god because I saw him in this movie that's crazy yeah every time I'm hungry I want to break up with my boyfriend but as soon as I eat something usually Oreos I'm fine again this has happened with both my ex boyfriends and I don't know what it means help I don't want to ruin relationships over dumb shit like

this anymore I hate Oreos are we being serious yeah was that for real yes I don't think that was for real I mean I think she's joking you think you're hungry so you want to break up with your boyfriend then there's a deeper problem happening there, but deeper. Okay. Deeper well. And also, I'm an Oreo. Here's how I'll eat an Oreo. I'll only eat it if I, like, soak it in milk for, and it gets soft.

I can't eat, like, a hard raw. A raw Oreo is not for me. It makes me sick to my stomach. Are you, like a chocolate chip cookie? I like a sugar cookie. You know what? I love a shortbread cookie. Have you had a shortbread cookie?

No, I don't think I have. The way, okay, are you a sensory, like big sensory person, too? Enough. Like, I'm like, I can, like, like, I can, like, my house, I'm like, I've got slime. I've got all those puppets. I love, love all that stuff. Anything sad.

Like, I ordered a cat brush off of TikTok shop the other day because I was like this cat brush looks like it's going to change my life. I did it. Oh, absolutely. And my cat loves it. It was incredible. But things like that I'm obsessed with. Why did I bring this up?

Because you're talking about Oreos. Oh, and I brought to me. This is also what happens to me up. My brain just goes dark. And I'm like, wait, wait. I was talking about something. Don't do this to me right now. Short bread cookies.

They have this way of like, you, light into them and they almost get like soft between I don't know how to explain it. No, I know what you mean. It's like hard on the outside soft on the inside. Like you know some things that you want to just chew on? Like are you a chewer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes. Like, is there stuff that you're like, I just need.

Like, I'm like that with bottle caps. Like I need to chew on a bottle cap. Okay. Sometimes with like. I like ice. Yeah, but I mean more things that you shouldn't be chewing on. Like I'm trying to think of a good example. Well, I chew on like my sleeves or like my.

Yeah. But I chew on like. plastic things that are like you shouldn't have those in your mouth. I'm trying, I can't think of an example right now. Like there are certain slimes that like are crunchy that I'm like, oh, to bite into that would be, ooh, it would change me. Right.

But I just can't do it. I feel like the closest you can get to biting into slime is whatever they have that a pinkberry, the chocolate goo. Yeah. Oh, so good. So good. I think that's just melted crunch bar. Really?

That makes me like it even more. Yeah, I know amazing. That makes me like it even more. Incredible. What's your favorite frozen yogurt shop in the world? in the world. Yeah. There's a spot in Long Island

called 16 Handles that I think is really good. I knew you were about to say 16 handles best. Best. So good. 16 handles is the best. But in LA I really like go Greek. Yeah.

They just opened in New York. Really? Yeah. And I'm so excited to go. I'm going to go tomorrow. Yeah. Are you going to New York tomorrow? I'm going tonight.

Oh, wow. I know. Thanks for doing this. Um, yeah, no, I love a 16 handles. I go cake batter and then I put that. The fucking cake batter at 16 handles. It's so different. If you know, you know.

No, yeah, and then I do the little mini Reese's peanut butter cuts. Yep. And they get frozen and hard. Oh, I like the Reese's. Oh, my God. So anything Reese's I love, I love peanut butter. And then I do the chocolate crunchy stuff on top. Oh, 60 handles is the best.

So good. It's so good. I hate frozen yogurt that, like, is like, well, I guess Go Greek is that, but it's, like, so healthy. I'm like, no, like it needs to still taste good. Yeah. I used to not like Go Greek. And then, like, my taste buds changed. And I was like, oh, I really like this.

Go Greek, I like, if I'm in the mood for something like refreshing and tart. Okay. That's what I go to go Greek for. If I'm in the mood for, like, ice cream. Well, no, if I'm in the mood for ice cream, I go to, like, ice cream shops. Yeah. Are you a soft serve person or like a... Soft serve?

Love soft serve. Soft serve. Always soft serve. Is that an East Coast thing, though? Yeah, it is. All of my friends from the West Coast, like, when we walk, I, this scared me. Like, I literally walked into an ice cream shop with my friend the other day, and there was a soft serve, like, whatever the brand is that we all love with, you can get the chocolate vanilla swirl.

Yeah, yeah. And she chose to get, like, the hard ice cream? Yeah, and I was like, I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared of you right now. Like what? And she was saying the same thing about me. She was like, girl, what? Like, it's so much better than soft serve.

I'm like, no, it's objectively not. That's not up for debate. Like, I'm not having this conversation with you. Are you a sprinkles person? Sorry, this is, this whole podcast is me.

Rainbow sprinkles. Have you been to E Mac and Bolios? No, what is that? Oh, my fucking God. It's not soft serve. It is hard ice cream, but it is the best ice cream is good, but if I'm given the option of soft serve or like,

what is hard ice cream even called? Like, we're calling it hard ice cream. Like, just normal ice cream. I'm going soft serve. Always. No question. Always. Why not?

The fact that that's debatable is sick. It's easier to lick. It's easier to eat. It's better. It's better. It just tastes better. Thank you. I was pushing my friend around in her temporary wheelchair while she recovers from a broken leg.

One day, we're out in the campus village and ran into this guy alike. We started talking and got kind of lost in our ways until the guy started yelling, yo, yo, yo, yo. I turned around and she was rolling down the street hill, headed for the intersection. We caught up to her in time, but now she won't talk to me because I put the guy first and almost maybe would have got her more hurt. Please give me a clever way to apologize so I can break the ice. Oh my gosh.

Oh my God. She almost like Regina Georgeed her. It's not your fault. Oh my God. It's not your fault. I am so male-centered. Like I would have been like, ah, you're out. Right.

I'm like, wait. Yeah. It is not your fault. Like if you're talking to a guy, like that becomes like, it really, it's just, it's sometimes it happens, it becomes your whole world and like you don't notice your surroundings. For sure. And like I see you.

With my boyfriend, my hair could be on fire and I wouldn't notice. Of course. Like literally. Of course. But to be honest with you, he's like the first person I feel that way about. Really? Like kind of.

Like I feel, yeah. Like I can be literally like the world can be ending around me and I wouldn't know. Well, that's. Oh, which was kind of cute. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute. Do you feel like finally like secure?

Totally. I think that like it's just so mature, I guess, if that's the right word. Like, which I'm sure obviously comes to the age. But I think that I also am at a point in my life from like, what do I really want for my like future? Right. Do I want to just like fuck around forever? Like, no, I don't. Like, I know what I want.

And I feel like that was also really big with us meeting. Like, it felt like he was, I don't know, like, he just came into my life at, like, the perfect time. Where was your first date? Dude, literally at my house because we were just, like, scared to go in public. Yeah. We were nervous. When did you guys, like, debut publicly?

Sounds so silly, but, like, really. Our debut. Yeah. It was, like, in August, which, dude, this was such a crazy situation because, literally I we were just trying we weren't trying to keep it private because we cared it it was just more so like for us it just is a lot to I don't know we just were like let's especially when you're first with somebody and dating them you don't want to like publicly be out there and then what if it doesn't work out like a month later so I'd rather it be really like serious at

that point so I think we just were like we don't need to be out in public and like you know we we have no problem sitting in my kitchen and talking for eight hours so like what we don't me to go do things. And that day was literally a, my album photo shoot. And he was just there and didn't know there was a paparazzi outside. And what's so crazy is we weren't even ever meant to go outside. We were only ever meant to shoot in the house. And randomly the photographer was like that the wall outside is really cute.

We should just shoot there. I have these like big angel wings on. Uh-huh. It's ridiculous. And so we like did it and nothing came of it. And then the next morning my, well, the next morning I see the photos and no one has clocked him yet no one like it's all just my fans being like Madison's shooting something because I had angel wings on so like oh my gosh she shootings me for album so no one had said anything and then my

friend who is in a Chargers discord like he's literally in he's a huge Chargers fan he's in he's like he's like what is this and he like sends me a screenshot of it and he's like I just got this got put in the discord and like people just realized that that's Justin and I was like this is I knew any second it was like go everywhere and I was just like oh my god and it was fine I don't we weren't stress about it and now we've like obviously just embraced being kind of like public but it's just when something so sacred you just don't want to brood it yeah the internet scary in the hands of other people yeah I'm like it's this is for us this is our thing and I feel like we've done a good job now if like we go out and people see us but

we really are homebodies and like we don't really leave the house that much and I think that's been really good but yeah when it first came out literally it was he was also I was going to say rehearsing I always say he's rehearsing and I always call his outfit his costume because that's just like how my brain is like yeah it is though. It is. What else was they doing? It's not,

they're practicing, it's rehearsing. Rehearsing costume. It's all entertaining. You can say your practice. He lasts whenever I say that. But he like, he was on the field when the news broke.

And so I was, I was worried he was going to be panaged because he's, I was just like, I'm scared. And so then, yeah, he called me right after he got off. And I was like,

hey public boyfriend. And he was like, hey public girlfriend. Yeah, it was fine. Like I think we were both nervous. The other person was going to be like spooked by it. Right. We both were like,

whatever. Yeah. Helps being the same. We're in love so. Totally. We're very similar, which I think has also been something I've never been with.

I feel like I've always been with people that I feel like I've always been like, oh, well we balance. It's like no, we are like so similar and it's been so awesome. Not about me, but my best friend and sister's husband was showing me, wait,

not about me, but my best friend and sister's husband was showing me stuff on his phone at a family gathering. And while he was, and while he was, he opened up Snapchat and was showing me memories. Mind you, he's 32.

The real red flag. was like he had hundreds a hundred snaps in conversations with people this freaks me out do I tell my sister so she's just freaked out that he's 32 in Snapchat's well yeah I'm like I was waiting to hear that like he was Snapchating other girls but he just has memories and he was just showing you them I'm guilty

of that I'm like a camera roll shower me too if we hang out I'm like wait look at this one video of me from seven years ago it's so funny always always or I'm like let's look at my TikTok likes I know you're dying to see that like TikTok likes TikTok reposts my memory's on Snapchat I'm like I'm sorry but we are kind of getting like to the where maybe it is embarrassing.

32 is crazy. Okay, yeah, we're not that age. Yeah. Well, not that... 32 man on Snapchat is crazy. Sorry, no offense to him. Yeah, well, you know what? Always, tell me if you were like this.

I don't know if this is because I didn't go to high school, but I never, like, communicated with people on Snapchat. Yes, I talk about this all the time. I never did. Talk solely on Snapchat. No, I was... I message and I would send photos back and forth on Snapchat. Like, streaks, whatever, fine.

Yeah. But, like, I know... I think it's like the generation under us, like kids that are like 21 now. Yes, yes. They legitimately talked only on Snapchat. Also, they have like two million snap scores. Yes. I'm like, what?

It's crazy. I found my Snapchat for like 10 years and mine's not even like $100,000. And they all snap maps. It's fucking wild. I can't with that. Like I have people. Mine's never been on my snap map. No.

What are you doing? It bugs me the fuck out. I do a find my friend. Are you a tracker? Yeah, but I got a new phone and I can't track. Like she keeps trying to track me and it's not. Oh, it's not working. It doesn't work.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love a find my friends. Yeah, me too. I used to be the biggest. I have so many people. Because it doesn't work. The only one that can track me is my best friend Alice.

And she's like able to track me for some reason. And she keeps trying. It doesn't work. It drives her insane. I'm sorry. I know. I need tracking. Yeah.

It saves me. Me and my best friend were walking home from the bar and took a shortcut. Wait, wait. We didn't tell that girl what to do. Tell her sister. Do we tell, she, I mean, tell your sister what. I would just drop it. Also though, like tell your sister that he's on Snapchat.

I'm sure she knows. She knows. Yeah. She must. She must. Anyway, sorry, I realize we shouldn't tell you what to do. No, because this one's crazy. I got like, I'm scared.

It is really crazy. Me and my friend were walking home from the bar and took a shortcut only to stumble across a dead body, laying there in the alley. We were so freaked out. We just screamed and ran, but now we're feeling hell of guilty about just leaving it there and not reaching out. Are we a part of a crime now that you just read this out loud? Did you just look me into something?

Do you think it's too late to call it in or should we stay out of it? Well, by the time this episode comes out. I really hope. What? But I would have definitely, if I'd immediately call it in. Hello? I would hope any. When I see a dead animal, I call it in.

Yeah. Like legitimately. Yeah. I have a problem with that. What you call in? Sorry. No, I'm just like, wait. Let me.

Like, if you saw like a dead pigeon, you'd call it in. This is a confession thing. I like need to tell you. No, it's a thing. No, I, like, roadkill is a really, like, sensitive topic for me. Like, I am like, it ruins my day. When I see roadkill, it really, really upsets me. And I, I don't always call it in, but like, I saw a dog recently.

Oh, I would have called that. And I got out of my fucking car. And I literally was on the side of the road, like moving him out of the street. Oh, God. And I was just so upset. And I, well, I called it in also because I was like, this could be, it looked like, it looked like someone's dog. It was horrible. Oh, God. Sorry, not to like ruin the mood. But it's so sad. Like, I don't know. I just also, I think it pisses me off that I'm like so many people just drive by and like don't do anything. Like, I don't know. I try to give them like dignity. I've buried roadkill on the side. Really? Yeah. Is there a lot of roadkill in Long

Island? Um, way more here. Really? For sure. I've like barely ever seen any in Long Island. Okay, interesting. Yeah, what you would think it'd be more. Yeah, for some reason, it just seems less like this is more, interesting. No, I see Roadkill all the time in LA and it makes me really sound. Well, LA, I buried a squirrel the other day and it was, I felt like I did a good thing. You touched it? With, I had something on my hands.

Like, I had a t-shirt, like I wrapped my hands in a T-shirt, but I fully brought him. He was, he was laying in, I'm assuming his gender, it's not cool. He was laying in the road, though, and he looked completely untouched. Squirrels are boys. But he looked untouched. Squirrels are boys. They are, right? Squirrels are boys.

There are some animals that are inherently, I think. Yeah. Obviously, duh, ladybugs are girls. Yeah, ladybugs are girls, butterflies are girls. For sure. Butterflies are boys. For sure. Girls are boys.

Dogs are boys usually to me. For sure. It's all the ones that aren't cute are the boys. What are octopies? Octopi. I think they are gender neutral. They are. Well, what the hell are we talking about?

I don't, the dead body. Well, that is insane. And I lie, probably. Oh, we were doing my roadkill. Yeah. Why did I bring that up? Well. Why do I do that?

It's okay. What? Madison, what did we learn today? That we both suffer from OCD. Yeah. That we both need help. And that's pretty much what I, that's my main takeaway. But you know what?

That I'm not alone. No, you're not. And you're happy. You made me feel a lot more like the things that I struggle with are actually. Really? Yeah. I'm so happy you left feeling that way. No, for real.

Well, because I think sometimes I think it's a very, like it's an isolating feeling when you're like, I, there cannot be. that many people that are this like coo-cule. Well, I feel crazy a lot. And I'm like, well, especially because I feel like I suffer with like anxiety and then all the stuff. And so you definitely made me feel less alone. Oh, I feel like that.

Wait, and also the deluxe of your album will be out at this point. Oh, would have been out. Yes. I'm so excited. Did you get to hear any of it or not yet? No, I didn't get to. Okay, okay. I'll send it to you. You said it to me.

I love it. It's short. It's only, it's only four songs. That's a lot for a deluxe. Well, I'm also just like, they were the four songs that I loved. So take and believe it. Honey. Congratulations.

Thank you. I love you. I hope this is the start of many. I know. Yeah, after you watch Vanderpumperables, we'll do another one. Yeah, I'll sit down and I'm going to interview you about what. Honestly, yeah. So wait, which real hospice should I watch?

What's the most important? Salt Lake. Salt Lake is the greatest. It is? It's the best. Like, I need a lot of drama. Salt Lake and craziness. Promise you Salt Lake.

Okay. And you better trust me. I trust you because she's also like you have to watch it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You vouched for Salt Lake too. Then I'm doing it.

Soll Lake's amazing. Okay. Madison, good luck on tour. Thank you. Congrats on the deluxe. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Bye, pussies.