Therapuss with Jake Shane - Session 144: Owen Thiele Returns

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

All... We do... Is gossip. Use my code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/THERAPUSS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Thanks to Depop for sponsoring this episode! https://www.depop.com/ Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Owen! https://www.instagram.com/owenthiele/?hl=en Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You gotta try breakfast at you gotta try. And what better way than with a delicious pre-organic coffee? Starting with just $1 all day, every day now until December 31st. You gotta try breakfast at A&W. At participating A&W locations in Ontario. Tonight on Therapest, we have one of my dearest and best friends in the entire world, Owen Thiel. He is so magnificent in adulthood. and just as a friend and a comedian.

And I was just so lucky to have him back. Owen, I love you. Thank you for coming on the show. He really, like when we were shooting adults and I did that episode with him, he really made me feel so comfortable in a space that I was really, really, really anxious in. And I will always, always, always be so grateful for that.

We had, like, the best time in Toronto. And like, he's just, he's the best. Owen's the best. Owen, I love you. And in case you missed it, Saurpus has officially launched in Target. Please let me know if you've tried it. If you like it, what your thoughts are.

The flavors are cherry, strawberry, and blue raspberry, because you know I love berries. And each octopus has different emotions because I thought that was important. If I was making a candy, I wanted it to be like me. So this is blue raspberry. It's sad. And it is... Mmm.

Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm. I'm filming this right now during a heat wave in Los Angeles, so I'm going to keep this short because I'm dripping sweat. But, pussies, I love you so much. And also, thank you for the response to the Sandra and Nicole episode.

I was so, I don't think I had ever been more nervous in my entire life than to welcome those to Academy Award-winning movie stars into my home. And the response has just made me feel so loved and a really, feel so appreciative for you guys. And I just love you and enjoy the episode. I love you, Pussies. Oh, and Theo. Welcome back to therapists.

Wait, hi, baby. Wait, we're kind of far away. I know. Because of these, I have to tell you something. This couch, delish. You love? I'm sinking in. It's a little bit of a cloud couch dupe.

Well, it's a cloud couch dupe. Adults is back. Adults is back, and you're on it. And I'm on it. That's actually crazy. It was crazy. We had so much fun. We had so much fun.

We sound like to chat GBTs talking to each other right now. Of course, we had so much fun. No, we actually had the best time. But we really did. It was we survived a blizzard. Okay. Let's just talk about this. Yes.

I don't think we were prepared for, I think, the coldest days that have ever existed ever. Those were the best days of my life. They were the best day of mine, too. But you have to understand. We were like, that's the coldest days that Toronto was ever seen. I know. Genuinely, I went into a coffee shop and the woman was like, are you from here?

I said, no, I'm from LA. She goes, leave, leave, get out. She was screaming at me. Mind you, I was trying to get, do you remember I was trying to get this guy to go on a date with me and drive back? And he was like, I'll die on the road. No, of course, I remember that. Do you remember I said, why isn't he seeing me?

And you said, well, babe, the roads are ice. I said, the roads are closed. You can't even drive. Right. And you were so upset. You're like, he's using it as an excuse. He doesn't want to see me. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

He's about to die for you. Right. He's gonna do it. And we saw a hockey game. We saw, we saw, okay, Jake and I went to a hockey game. And during the hockey game, Jake goes, let's just go get merch. And I'm like, totally. I wouldn't think we're getting a hat, by the way.

I think we're a hat, maybe. I thought maybe if I liked a hat, I'd buy it. Maybe a finger foam. Exactly. I thought that. I ended up, we walked out with bags of merch. Jack, a jacket. Oh, that jacket was so cute.

It was adorable, but you could only wear it in Toronto. I have it. You have it. I'm dead. I'm absolutely dead. Do you? No. Okay.

So looking back at it, it's so but ugly. Yeah. It's, oh, fuck. I'm, no, no, no. But here's the deal. We can, it just is very Toronto's winter. Okay, let me put it on for you.

Okay, put it on. Do a fashion show. It's cute on you, Jake. Anything's cute on you. You're a bite-sized cute. That is so cute. I love it now. It won't wear it just because we filmed adults in Toronto.

Totally. But I also love how you're wearing it. Right. I'm wearing it just... It's 102 degrees outside. Yeah. By the way, it's very hot. Very hot in New York.

Should we talk about... Okay, where do we begin? Well, I don't know. Where do we start? Owen and I have been hanging out quite frequently these days. We're obsessed with each other. Obsessed. Well, I'm obsessed with you.

You don't have to be obsessed with you. I'm very obsessed with you. And we learn. how to write a joke together. We formulated a joke together. And we looked at each other and we said, is that how people do it? How it's done? I go, oh, Quinta Bronson, you, watch out.

Yeah, no, we were sitting, we were talking back and forth and then the joke came and we were like, oh. Totally. We like our one joke that we wrote. Because we're writing a movie. Of course. Tell them. Should we tell them the plot of the movie or is somebody going to steal it?

Someone's going to steal it. Wait, by the way, we were at dinner with people last night. They go, oh, I don't think anyone's stealing that. They go, you're fine on that. We go, oh, okay. I literally was so offended. I want everyone to want to steal my ideas. But I think my ideas are so mentally ill that no one would even think about.

What's your best idea besides our movie that you've had recently? I have this thing. I really want to invent it. It's an invention. It's called the pro file. Wait. An electric nail. filer. You put it on your nail. It has safety features. You put it on your nail. Boom. You press

square, round, diamond. You take it off and your nails filed perfectly. Wait. The pro file. The profile. Wait, that's amazing. I'm sorry. It's genius. So who can you pitch that to to get that made? Haley? Well, I think Haley Bieber. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to call Haley. I feel like she would I feel like she would be like, no. I started the best brand of the world. I don't need to help you with your weird nail file. So who would? I don't know.

I also have this. The OI pack. You buy. The Owee pack. Okay. You buy it at an airport. Okay. It has all things you would need to stay clean on an airplane.

So you like, you have like, you know, like you can put like a bag over the seat. Oh, I never do that. I know, but like, why don't, if you, if it was called the OE pack with me like this, you might. Right. I would. You know what I mean? But it's just like so like the I can't. I, I, I, I,

when's the last time you changed your sheets and put your sheets on your bed? Wait, like my bed at home? Yeah. Very recently. Oh. Wait, why? You don't do that. I can't.

You don't wash your sheets. No, I do wash my sheets. In college, my freshman year, I washed them once. Please. Were you having sex? Trying. Yeah. So here's a deal.

Wait, no, not like actual sex. It was like the gay, everything, but. Totally. You know what I mean? That's called aside. Yeah. Like that's like, um, wait, so were you spraying perfume? You know what my favorite thing to do?

Mm-hmm. Wait, me I shouldn't say this. Okay, I'm going to. My favorite thing to do is coming home from al-in-jim. Uh-huh. Which, by the way, last time we spoke, you were like, where is my invite? I see you there every day. Jake, you see you there every day.

changed my life. It was you. But no, it wasn't. It was Val-O-Gem. No, no, no, it was you. You got me in first. By saying that on your podcast, they were like, come in. And didn't, doesn't your body feel changed? I'm a new human being. Someone asked me if you were on peptides the other day. No. Someone said, I, that is the nice, tell them to text me. No, they said, they said, I, is Owen on peptides? Like, can you, wait, can you ask him? I would tell you right now if I was, by the way, you know, I did take a peptide for my skin, the copper one, and you know what happened to me? Did I tell you this? No, was it the GHKCC? G.HK. Yes. Exactly. GHK. If you can't pronounce something, you shouldn't be putting into your body.

But you did, and what happened? I went into hypothermic shock. What do you mean? That's my dream. Wait, totally. I want to be cold and little and small. No, I literally, my body temperature reached, I think, 95 or 94. And my, like, like, you were saying that. I was freezing. I turned blue. It was horrible. It's one of those things where I then called the doctor who gave it to me that he's not a doctor because they're, they're not doctors. I don't think it's FDA approved. It's not FDA approved, but I went to a doctor's office to get mine. I have red it in the fridge. And I never took it because I was like, you know what, I'm just going to, this is in case of emergencies. Totally. It's very in case of emergencies and my dad keeps sending me like articles about

it. But like, I do see photos of people that are on GHKCU and I'm like, you look amazing. So it's supposed to really help the skin. And I called my doctor and I said to him, Why did I go into hypothermic shock? And why am I dying? And he said, just let your body regulate. He said, just keep it up. So then I'm like, do I die for my skin? What did Jared think?

Well, Jared thinks I'm crazy. Right. Genuinely, everything I take or do or whatever, Jared's like you're saying. Right, we were trying to leave a party the other day, us three. And I said, okay, well, can we go? And Jared said, we'll just pause. Owens walking around still. Yeah.

Do you remember that? You need to allow for like 30 to 40. Yeah. 30 to 40 minutes from me to say goodbye to people. Oh, and he was not wrong. We were standing at the front sitting. Here's the deal. I've gotten so many fights with my friends about this.

I don't like to Irish. You Irish. Oh, I'm out. See, okay, this is the thing, though. Then the next day, I can't deal with this. Where'd you go? Home. Wait, totally.

It's one word. I went home. Totally. Totally. Totally. I should just do that. I went home. So instead, I have to go up to them and be like, when am I seeing you? Oh, you do?

And then I have to go, wait, let me look at my sketch. And then I'm pulling it up. And then I'm calling people, I'm calling my agent, being like, can we just move this really fast? I'm doing everything. I just- Owen and I left a party with plans to go get drunk at a Mexican restaurant in a random parking lot in the valley with Shea Mitchell. And by the way? Never happened.

Never happened. She, love you down. Congrats on base. Never happened. I have to be honest. Is it Bayes or Bayheed or Bayes? It's base. First of all, I'm not just saying this.

Shea, congrats. It's the best suitcase I've ever owned. It's genuinely the best suitcase. I opened it up the other day. I go, okay, this is huge. It was a carry-on. I go, I can fit my life in here. Oh, the carry-on.

The carry-on. It's very big. I literally go, Jared, get in here. Let me zip it up. You want to come with me to New York? I don't want to pay for your ticket. Get in a suitcase. It's very, very big.

I genuinely don't think it fits in the compartment up. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. I've had issues with it. Shit. But then you say like, well, what am I supposed to do? And then you're already on the plane and they're like, well, fuck. Totally.

We can check it. And I'm like, how? The plane's closed. Totally. Just hold it. Babe, you're going to have to hold it in your lap. You say that to the flight attendant. Talk about a flight that should be changed is I don't like the flight from L.A.

To New York. Toronto. Wait, why? Because. Um, bumpy. It just, it was too short. Okay, I'm understanding. I've never taken a flight from, I always go to New York first.

Do I stop? Have I ever gone straight from L.A. to Toronto? I don't think I have. Maybe I have. Oh, it's on air Canada. Yeah. Which, by the way, I don't think, I don't think I like that airline. That's what I'm saying.

I think that's the worst airline. It's the worst airline. The seats are cardboard. The people are lovely. Because they're Canadian. Well, of course. They're lovely because they're Canadian. Isn't it crazy that all Canadians are lovely?

Like, that's not, like, I thought that was like a stereotype. I love to. Do you, do you prefer Toronto or Vancouver? Can I be honest? Yeah. I've never, no, I have been to Vancouver. Oh my God, I have a story for you. Tell me right now.

But we have to bleep the name. Of course. Okay, great. So there was a band. Okay. I just gave it away. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, okay, so bleep that.

And my friend who you just met, don't say the name. Yep. Who you just met. Lovely. If you're listening, girl. Lovely. We love you. She really wanted to hook up with.

And they were texting and DMing and wait, come to one of my shows. And so we looked on, on, we looked at the website for their show and it said Toronto. No, it said Vancouver. And we were like, kind of close to L.A. Right. So we, she goes, oh my God, this is so weird. Owens in Vancouver. I'm already visiting him.

Lie. We boarded a plane to Vancouver, me and her. No, you know that. Yeah. Bored at a plane to Vancouver. Lied to this man, to this rock star. And we told him we were already there. We, we get up, the plane is delayed.

The, the show is at 8 p.m. that night. Okay. Okay. We land at six. We're supposed to land at six. We end up landing at 7.30. We're like, fuck! We sprinted to a car.

We have our suitcases. Yeah. I'm now paying the Uber driver in Vancouver. I'm like, just stay out here with our suit. Stay with us. Stay with our suitcases. Please, just hold our suitcases safe. We leave.

We go into the venue. I'm like, he could have just stolen our whole life. Right. Our whole life is in the car. Anyways, he doesn't. He's a kind man. We go into the venue. We have a great night.

And then the worst thing ever happens. We go back. They kind of have a flirty vibe, but nothing happens. We go back to the hotel. So hot. So hot. We go back to the hotel. And we're like, because we book a,

hotel room. We're like, okay. Well, thank God. We got away with that. We're like, we got away with that. They really thought we were already here. Right. As we pull up, so do they. And we have our suitcases. Imagine that. So I am opening the door with the suitcase and I go, and I look at the bellman and I've never in my life, I took my suitcase and I threw it at the bellman. I said, yeah, tie this. And I was like, hi, we're just coming to the bar. We're just here for the bar. We're just here for the bar. Oh, yeah. Like, let's have a drink? Yeah, that's great.

Let's all hang out. We were like, oh, totally. And did you get away with it? We got away with it. He had no idea. Until now. Until right now. Should I not be telling this?

Just bleep it enough. I think it's fine. I mean, the issue with Owen and I is all we do is gossip. Sorry, I love it. It's all we do. Every, everything we sit here before, but honestly, it helps our creative process. A hundred percent. We gossip for two hours.

is we write one joke. Totally. And that's what comedy is. I still can't believe writing jokes is that easy. It's, well, you're a great joke writer.

You're a great joke writer. We're a great joke writer. Well, we're like, we've recently discovered that we're creative partners. Well, we're a dream team.

We're a dream team. In many ways. Can we talk about when I fell down the stairs? Oh my God! When we were filming adults. Jake, I have never in my life.

Her, okay, speak of, speaking of gossip, all of a sudden, we're filming, okay? We're in a scene. And all of a sudden, you hear, p. Yeah. And then it was quiet. It was quiet. And then you heard, I think Jake Jane fell down the stairs, Jake, Jane, just fall down the stairs, Jake, Shane, everyone was whispering. The whole set was ablaze.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. So what happened? I wasn't there for it. So people were behind you? So somebody behind me tripped, and I said, bump, bump, bump, and, you. bumped into the wall. And I was like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

And I had the biggest, like, gash bump on my head. And my date had canceled on me because of the blizzard. And we were freezing. Well, mind you, okay, let me just, like, paint the picture. Paint the picture, Ben. Heated rivalry had just came out. It just came out. And that's why we, at a hockey game, you and I were living our damn life.

Yeah, we were like, woo! We were living, like, oh, it's a big screen. They were like on other people. Totally, totally, totally, totally. We're like, oh, we're gay and in the building, hockey. And they were like, okay. And then we're like, well, we're going to go downstairs. We're going to go downstairs.

We're sitting there. Well, I want to, of course, we were feeling hot. We were feeling like Connor's story. Wait, Connor's story, I didn't know. I know everyone knew this. I actually didn't know that he has such a great personality. Great butt. Oh, yeah, no, it's, wait, did you watch heated rivalry?

No, of course. No, I knew this. but recent, like in pants even. I didn't realize. Oh, are you talking about the pop walks in Vancouver? Yes. Yeah. It's outrageous.

It was crazy. Well, you know he does like 300 squats every day. No, that's a lie. No, swear. He's like, I do 300 squats every single day. I'm going to be honest. I go to Allo Gym. I only do two squats.

I don't do squats. I can't. My knees. How does it hurts the knee? My knees hurt. I'm tired. I start sweating in my face. I'm like, I just can't.

But like that's why Connor Story is Conor Story. Did you see his YSL ad? So hot. Like the hottest thing I've ever seen in my trailer. So hot. This? Yep. And he's like classes.

And then the best part about it is they'll cut to other people and you're like, no, no, no. Bring him back. Totally. Totally. Totally. He's, that's a star. That's a star when you cut to another person on screen and then you go, wait, I actually I want him back.

Who else do you feel that way about? Because I could tell you right now. Okay, go. Lena Dunham. Oh my God. When Lena Dunham's not on screen, I am craving her. I want her back. Leigham.

Meeter. Honestly, though, you know what's weird about girls? I kind of feel that about every one of them. Right. I'm kind of like when Jessa, when Jemima's not on screen, I'm like, bring her back. When Zasha, Zasha's in adults. Oh, it's my phone. Everyone's calling.

Everyone is calling me this morning. You're a fucking asshole. Wait, what? Why? I called you 16 times and then I said Ryan try. Oh, and you answered Ryan? and not Peyton. Well,

I just. I fucking knew it too. Oh, and I missed you. So here's the deal. Here's the honest truth. He was in the middle of a podcast episode. I'm wearing too much makeup.

No, you're not. Whoa. Whoa. Is that how I look on Cam? Wait, what's wrong with your face? You look awesome. I almost like can't even let you see me right now. Wait, but this is about to go to Netflix?

I just realized that. Owen's on Hulu. Like, please, I can't. Oh, good. Like, what are you talking about? I have that turk. You do. Guest in residence.

The best. I'm handing you back. I love Peyton. Well, we're going out with Peyton and Ryan tonight. We're going out tonight, no? Yeah, is Owen coming? Yes, Owen's coming. Duh.

Am I invited? Always. You're always invited, Owen. Oh, my God. I feel so at home. Thank you, Seekek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. Summer might have come to a close, but that does not mean live music or live events are stopping anytime soon.

As we all know, Tucker Roommodel is about to embark on his tour. Audrey Hubert is on tour. There are still so many festivals to be seen, and not only that, but it is about to be football season. If you are a football fan, there are comedy shows, there are Broadway shows, any live performance you can imagine is on Seatgeek. and you can use my code therapist for 10% off your order. The reason Seekek is the best place to get tickets for these events

is because it rates the tickets on a scale from 1 to 10, one being not the best, 10 being the best. So you know if you are getting enough bang for your buck. Also, if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code Therapus for 10% off your order. Katzai is also on tour right now, who I am desperate to see. There are so many incredible shows to be seen and so little time. Seekkeek helps you see all of them and then such.

You can also add your location in so we can show you popular events near your area, whether that be music, comedy, Broadway, or sports. Again, that's code therapist for 10% off your order. Thank you, Siki, for sponsoring tonight's episode. Were you ever in love before Jared? No. Jared says yes.

Only Jared. It's only ever been him. Yes, no. No, I was so in love with... I was very in love. I had a boyfriend. What? In high school.

Oh my God. I came out really early. How early? Like 14. Me too. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay, great.

Yeah. And then to my parents, like, 18. Really? Well, my parents knew I was gay the whole time. I mean, Ellen. Yeah. Well, I'm straight passing, of course. No, I was wearing, like, leotards and stuff.

I was, like, super gay. I was actually gayer then than than I am now. Right. And I was pretending to be straight. Have you listened to the new choice of ensemble? No. What? I know.

I know. Well, that's not true. I've listened. Yes, I've listened, but I haven't, I haven't dove in. I like to dive in. Like, Phoebe, I dove in. My dad texted me about the Phoebe Bridgers album. Oh my God, it's unbelievable.

It's great. What's your favorite? Um, right now, Bobby. My, me too. I love Bobby. We're very similar. I love Bobby. Bobby's the best one.

It's, it's fun. It's beautiful. It's motion sickness, but a little grown up. Wait, totally. Totally. Um, I really like it. I also like, what else do I like? I like still standing.

Me too. Love. I have Bobby still standing. And then the lost reprise. I like Lost weekend. Lost weekend reprise. Love, but I like Lost weekend. I think this album might be her melodrama.

Okay, say that. But I'm just saying that because there's a reprise on there. Totally. You see reprise, you go, okay, melodrama. Exactly. I really, really like the album. I haven't, I need to sit with the Troy song. I've only listened.

I only saw the video, but I thought the video was amazing. I didn't see the video. Oh my God, the video is insane. See, that's what I heard. I heard. It's amazing. The video's amazing. And Nicole Kidman.

No, the video's amazing. Yeah. What are you like, I want to know, you get into bed. Yeah. When do you listen to your music? Oh my God. Thank you so much for asking. I wake up and I go to get coffee.

I listen to music then. I wake up. Headphones. Headphones. Headphones. Back from my workout headphones. Like, even if I'm with Cassidy and she sleeps over, like headphones, we'll both put in headphones and walk. I love that.

Headphones on the way to the airport. And then when I'm sitting in my chair, I put on my TV show. Which, by the way, what are you watching? Well, it's really funny. I'm not, I'm watching old things now. What? I'm like, going back to Veep. I'm re-watching Veep.

I'm sorry, it's the best show. It's the best show of all time. I'm re-watching Mindy Project. I think it's amazing. Okay, so I've never really seen Mindy Project. Oh, Jake. Is it that good? Oh, Jake.

It's one of the best sitcoms, I think, ever. So what's the premise of the Mindy Project? Because I remember reading the pilot like when I was 11 Because it like somehow like Found its way on the internet First of all Isn't Max? She's an OBGYN.

Yeah, isn't Mac? Who's... No, I know who you're thinking of. Who's the main guy? Yeah, yeah, he's hot as fuck. Yeah, what's his name? He's hot. Chris Messina?

Yes! Christmasina is so good. And he's in the new season of White Lotus. Yes. So Mindy's an OBGYN and it just centers around her her doctor life. It's so fun. And it's so fun.

It is beyond funny. It's genius. You know what I need to rewatch that I haven't seen in ages is 30 Rock? I loved 30 Rock. See, I, yeah, I loved 30 Rock.

I'm hesitant because I've only watched one season of 30 Rock, but I love it. I'm watching Silo. I don't know of this. Silo is about if the world ended and everyone lives in these like bunkers. But it's not like rich people bunkers.

It's like bunkers. Just bunkers. And like there's like a whole system and it's been like 200 years. And if you say I want to go outside, then you have to go outside and you die. And then... Wait, what? No, it's crazy. Rebecca Ferguson's in it.

Have you seen Dune? I'm so sorry. Wait, neither have I. I think we have to see Dune. There's like five of them. There's two. Sorry. And we have to see them.

before the third comes out, because apparently the third's just going to be like, blah, blah, blah. The third is going to be huge. Do you know they based Star Wars off Dune? They based Star Wars off Dune. Dune was a book. Dune was a book, a very old book,

and they based Star Wars off Dune. Is this true, no one? This is 100% true. I had no, I, I, I, I, what? Uh-huh. It's so funny, once you put Zendaya in a movie, in a reboot, it'll always work. Always.

Well, has you been in any other reboots? Nope. No, but, do you know what? I mean. Zendaya and anything. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Isn't it funny that if you go into the movies right now, Zendaya is at every single one? She's in the drama. She's in Spider-Man. She's in Dune. She's in the Odyssey.

She's the movie star. Sorry, I want to see her. I think she's a very modern day like Julia Roberts. She is ooh, I love that. Do you know what I mean? I love that. Or Julia Roberts in the Odyssey, I would love to see it. Who would she be a modern day? Like, who would, like, what movie star could you relate her

to? That you'd be like, oh, that That makes sense that they're in quite literally everything. Like Merrill Streep. But I guess that's like Merrill Streep now. Yeah. Was Merrill Streep and everything back then? No. How old is Zendaya?

28. I am. If she's 28, I'm jumping. How old is Zendaya? 29. Literally, thank God. I'm not kidding. It changes it.

It changes it. But have you seen a video of her from when she was like 14? Do we shake it up? And they're like, what are your plans this summer? And Vendaya's like, I'm going to go work on my craft. And that's why she's Zendaya. Yeah, we should have known. We should have known.

There were tells you signs. She was showing up to everything. She was working her ass off. You know the song, Replay. Of course I know replay. That's a great song. All day. Come on.

I love that. Why didn't she like pursue that? I can imagine her MSG being like, and this one's called replay. And then the crowd goes, do you know what I mean? What do, in your mind, when did Zendaya become Zendaya? First season of Euphoria. I completely agree.

Right? I completely agree. What did she do before that? She was in Spider-Man. Oh. But Spider-Man wasn't in my mind. I'm sorry to every Marvel head out there. I've seen every Marvel movie.

I, like, die for it. I wasn't, like, locked into Marvel, really until Endgame came out. And Spider-Man, for me, took off with, like, home... Well... Far from home, no way home. Homecoming, far from home, no way home. So far from home is what took it off for me. And that was after Euphoria.

So Euphoria for me is, and Euphoria was 2018, 2019. So euphoria for me is what made Zendaya Zendaya. And when did she start working with La Roach? 2011. So 15 years. When she was 14. I don't believe that. She was working with La Roach on Shake It Up?

The very first red carpet project together was at the premiere of Justin Bieber, never say never. Oh my God, I just saw her smiling on that carpet. Yeah, that carpet's going viral again. I just saw it. She was like this. I just saw it. And she kept moving.

Speaking of red carpets, I'm very upset that I can't make the adults one. I'm really upset. Just so we could hang out. I know. And then you text- Do you like being on a red carpet? I love it.

Only if people are taking my photo. Well, they always are taking your photo. No, that is not true. I've been on red carpets where it's, the most humbling thing in the world is when They write your name on the thingy, and the photographer's, every single photographer turns their camera and takes a photo of the name and then goes back. Just to make sure because they have no idea. So I did this brilliant thing.

Uh-huh. Are you ready for this story? Tell me, please. Okay. So I walked onto the red carpet. This was three years ago. Obviously, no one knew me. No one knows me now, but no, really no one knew me then.

No, no, no. Seriously. So I walk on and I'm like, you know what? This is so embarrassing that I'm just going to make friends with these photographers. So we just start having a conversation. I'm like, oh, I love your earrings. She's like, oh, my grandma got them for me. I'm like, oh.

And then she's like, she just passed. I'm like, wait, let's talk about this. Are you feeling okay now that she's gone? She's like, you know what? It's been tough. And I'm like, totally. And then we had locked in. And the next person, I was like, oh, I love your shirt.

She was like, oh my God, this? You know what? I made that. You know, so it was like very, I really got in there with that. Right. So now, recently, I went to a carpet. Actually, with you, the shards. The shards.

And it's so funny because every one of those photographers I know of a personal relationship with. So I'm actually the most famous person on the carpet. They're like, Owen, Owen, Owen, oh, and Owen, my grandma, member of my girl, ah! And they're screaming, taking photos to me. Kaya Gerber should watch out. Yeah. Kaya Gerber comes on, they're like, but to me, I have personal relationship.

Have you ever seen Kaya on a carpet? It's not like anything I've ever seen them. No, it's unbelievable what she does on that carpet. She walks on, there's no, there's no name that they need to take a photo up. Oh, of course. The name is the face, babe. She goes, and it's, Of course, it's insane.

And I'm like, it's insane. It's insane. I have that too, but because they think I care about their grandparents. But you do? No, I deeply care. But do you know what I mean? It's so fun to feel famous for a second. And then you realize, oh, it's because ultimately all these photographers have a personal relationship with you.

No, no. If you guys know this about me, I feel like you probably do. I love merch. I love concert merch. Like, when I fall in love with a band or an artist, a media. I want to own merch, hence my Carly Ray Jepson merch that I'm wearing right now. And I could sell this on Deepop, but I won't because it is very special to me. But this is an example of something you could find on Deepop.

It is the best place to find secondhand clothing and merch. I could scroll that app for hours and hours and hours and hours. If you don't know, Deepop is a fashion resale marketplace where personal taste has real value. It has really, really, really helped me hone in on my own style, which I have struggled with. much over the course of my life. And I think the reason I love Deepop so much is because you can have this conversation with the person you're buying it from. So you have a personal connection with the buyer and it doesn't just feel like so transactional. Like you can share your love for the piece of clothing with the person's selling it. I get overwhelmed shopping in person and Deepop, it almost feels

like a for you page for clothes, like where you can like really look and add stuff and talk to people and it feels so communicative. Also, not only just for buying Deepop is incredible for selling your clothing. There are no seller fees, which is incredible. With that being said, you can download the Deepop app right now to start selling today. Litting your first item only takes about a few minutes, and someone out there is already searching for your style. Thank you, Deepop for sponsoring tonight's episode.

If you could pick one person in the world right now to drop an album out of nowhere, surprise it. Who would it be? For me, it's Taylor Swift. Same. Yeah. Or Sabrina. Sabrina. That's tough.

Tide. Tide. Yeah. Mine's Taylor. I need, I love that. Care of the most if Taylor, if I picked up my phone right now and it said Taylor Swift, here's my 13th studio album. You know who I am? Loving so much recently that it's actually like, I'm starting to think about them like in my unconscious.

Can I take a guess? Yeah. I'm going to have three guesses. Go. Adela? Love, love, love. But no. But I love.

Okay, okay, okay. Is it a boy or girl? It's a girl, of course. When has there been a boy? Okay, okay, it's a girl. It's a clap. We've all been thinking of this person for a while, but it's really hit recently, really hit.

Zara Larson? Love, but no. Who? Audrey Hobart. Me too. I mean, Manny is Audrey Hobart's number one fan. I am, it's, I saw her perform in Toronto. I was an amazing.

I'm so jealous. I've never seen her live. I was saw, Tears. Well, I've never felt more seen in my life by an artist besides Taylor Swift. Like, Audrey Hobart's like literally like I am so uncomfortable. Every photo I take of myself looks bad. Totally.

I'm drunk and alone. Totally. This isn't sex in the city. Sorry. But by the way, that's my favorite song on the album. No, I mean, come on. And Silver Jubilee. I'm gonna put my drink up now.

I'm gonna tell my sister. You're perfect. Wait, I like the line. I'm gonna tell my sister your secrets. I'm, because I'm gonna do that. I don't have a sister, but you're my sister. I like the way you've been dressing recently. Wait, really?

Has Jared been dressing you? Jared always dresses me. Did he do this? Yeah, he did this. This is phenomenal. This is just jeans and a tea. It's great. Hilly Bieber and Kendall Jenner once showed up to Coachella in leather jackets and jeans and changed history.

Okay, but they can wear anything and look good. Genuinely, I, humble brag. I got lunch with Haley the other day. And she was wearing just like an out, we were at Allo, and she was wearing just yoga pants or whatever. I've tried every day to copy the outfit. And then I realize, oh, it's a sports bra. So I'm like, I don't think I'll be wearing that. Right.

But she just looked so effortless. Right. Effortless. Effortless, always effortless. It's crazy. What's your favorite road product? Probably the glazing mist. Okay.

I have it in my bag. My favorite is the face wash. Oh, okay. Yeah. I like the little exfoliant thingies. I love that. Yeah. Have you used Alex's skincare yet?

No, I have to. It's amazing. I have to. Real actives. It's, so she has this thing where it's like, it's a,

it's like a, it's like a, it's like a butter to take off your makeup and it like, you rub it all in your face and it starts melting all the makeup off your face.

So it feels like a painting. Oh, I always see this on TikTok. Everyone's obsessed with the butter. It's like very fun to use. Okay, I have to do that. It's like pretty awesome.

And then you like, you like, a little like, oh, a little, oh. Well, Owen, What are you therapist about today? I know what I'm therapist about.

Okay, what? I've been stepping in dog shit. That's it. That's it. And I'm just pissed about that. A lot? Okay. The other day, I'm in a flip flop.

Okay, my new thing is a flip flop. My new thing is a flip flop. Sorry, the dogs are out. Wait, and it's a French thing, by the way. I went to Paris. I saw everybody in flip flops and I said, okay. Okay, you went, okay, clocking that. I see you.

If Jonathan Anderson is making a flip flop, we're wearing it. I saw Jonathan Anderson in a flip-flop. There you go, that's what I'm saying. And so I said, I'm wearing a flip-flop. I'm in a flip-flop. Okay, assume me. It's a Javiana. Really thin.

Okay. I am stepping through the city. Everyone already is like, my mom, I was on face-in with my mom. My mom's like, ew, your feet are out in New York. I'm like, oh, shut up. I'll wash them later. It's fine. I'm in a flip-flop.

I'm stomping through the park. What's the park? The Washington Square Park. I'm stomping through Washington Square Park. It was kind of, it was actually dirty. and thinking about it, I'm actually getting nauseous. But I'm stomping through. All of a sudden, step in something.

I go, I literally, before I move my foot, I look up and I say, please let it be gum. At that, I would pray for gum. Shit, I'm like, I can't do with that. And did the shit, like, spill out of the side of your foot? So then I press a little harder. Now it's goopy. I'm really making this sound really gross.

It's getting everywhere. Not on my foot, but on the shoe. I'm like this. Did you toss them? I mean they're havianas. No, because I love a flip-flop right now and I don't want to have to buy other havianas. So I didn't toss them.

I went to the grass and I wiped my foot a lot on the grass. Okay. Actually, it was in a little bit of the crevices, but it was fine. But I was needed at a lunch. So I found myself in Bayrido. And I thought, okay, this is what I'll do. I'll take a bottle and I'll spray my feet with it. No mistake.

Well, mistake. It's really hard to get the bottle down to your feet without the people being like, what are you doing? No, what you need to do is what I would have done? What? I would have taken that flip-flop because they're like silicon and I would have put it in the little like, drinkety, the fountain. And I would have like-drinkety. Tost it around in the fountain, looked around and like shaved it and put like, went like this and like really washed it. And then like sat there for a second, let it dry.

and then went to buy Rita. I definitely should have done that because there was shit in the crevices, but I just thought no one will see it or know it's there, but they might smell it. Did they smell it? No, because I did use summer rain on my, I did get summer rain to,

and I sprayed it all over my foot, but the woman at the store was confused why I was, um, spraying it on your foot. Did she give a fuck? She looked at me weird for a second, but she was French, so I think she's fine. Do you like Paris? Paris, like France?

Yeah. Of course. I thought you meant Hilton. Oh, love Paris Hilton. I mean the best. Do I love France? Yeah.

I don't think they like me. No one's ever that nice to me in Paris. I actually find... What? I was there for the heat wave. You're always somewhere for... Weather event. Yeah.

I was very happy to be in Toronto for the Blizzard. Agree. Wait, I just felt like Kareem in subway takes. Strongly agree. What would your subway take be? I think we should be allowed to listen to Christmas music all year around. That's not a subway take. It is.

But you can do that. You have your own free volition. You have your own free will. Yeah, but why are we judged for it? I wouldn't judge you. If you played Christmas music for a day now, I'd be like, oh, yeah, it's July or August. Fruitcake by Sabrina Carpenter is my year-long album. It's a great album.

Whoa, Cindy Lou, I'm blasting it. I like the one that's like the Christmas nonsense. Love! Wait, um, uh, buy me presents. Buy me presents. Oh, also Christmas nonsense. They also would do that. You, okay, you know what is a, I guess this isn't an underrated Christmas song,

but I remember when it came out, nobody moved, but I moved, Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande. I mean, come on, wake up. Wake up. Santa, tell me, what if you really care? Come on, woo! Don't make me fall in love with you

and you'll be right here. Whoa. Yeah. I'm sorry, that was, that changed lives. Mine. I mean, that, yeah. Yeah. Wow.

What's your favorite Christmas song of all time? I love buying me presents so much. And I love Cindy Lou. Okay, but also I love Santa's time. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You know what I've really gotten into recently? It's so funny because it's August. But I really got into, in July, I got into Santa, can you hear me?

By who? Kelly Clarkson featuring Ariana Grande. What? Mm-hmm. Is that it? It's... Oh, was this from the voice era? It is the voice era, of course.

It is so good. When was it released on? Yep, voice era. It's delicious. Would you ever host the voice? No, because I would be like, you sound great, I guess. Oh, you're completely toned off. I would just be like, sure.

So you would get stressed out, and then I'd be like, wait, why are they pressing their buttons and I'm not? Like, I would have no actual ground to stand on. Would you ever host the voice? Oh, my God. I would die to be in a swivel chair. They should do the voice for stand-up comics. I wouldn't do that.

I'd be horrible about that. Because I would, I kind of like... And then if you win, you get a special on Netflix. Wow. Hi. Wait, hi. It's genius. Is that not genius?

That's actually genius. Sorry. Oh, really? Last comic standing. Oh. So you did create a show that exists. All right, whatever. But can we, that's what brainstorming is.

That's what making a joke is. Totally. We can't tell you or... Should we tell them our later? off joke. No, because we have to explain the whole thing. We have to explain the joke and it's not funny if we explain it, but it's really funny. Wait, can I just say something that I was really laughing at the other day?

What? I come to Jake's house and I'm sitting down on this exact cat, actually in this exact seat. And Jake goes, oh my God, I need to show you my magazine collection. And then he shows me this magazine that he got when he was in New York. It's the Knicks. It's awesome. But I just love that you love it so much. I love it because that magazine, this magazine is in 20 years going to be like something that everyone wants.

I agree. So you have Jalen Brunson on the cover. It's good to be king because at the time, I mean, right, I mean, he is the king of New York right now. He is, he is. On the back, a damnaguchi ad. Oh, wow. And then, I mean, at this point, should I show you my magazine collection collection? See, this is what I'm saying.

This is what I'm saying. He shows magazines. And then, so this is my paparazzi book that I got at the East St. Laurent. They have, like, a thrift store. Okay. Have you heard about this, Jared? Yes. They have, like, a, they have, like, a thrift.

They, like, they sell, like, old shit there. Is it, is it great? Yeah, it's cool. I got this there. It's like a book on the history of paparazzi. It's really cool. And then I also bought an old interview magazine. Oh, my God.

That is iconic. And then I bought an old interview magazine with Brad Pitt. That is iconic. Then. I have the interview magazine that I am in. That is iconic! And then I have Faye Dunaway interviewed by Andy Warhol from 1981. These are unbelievable magazines.

No, they're very good. This is a great magazine stack. It's, yeah, it's pretty awesome. It's amazing. And at the top is the Jalen Brunson one because I, because, well, also, if you pass any place in New York, they sell it. Still this? Yeah, King of New York.

If you go to, you know who I saw, Gracie Abrams did like a cover of, like a magazine or something. I saw that and then she posted it. I literally walked by and then she posted it two minutes later and I was like, is she here? Gracie? Hello? Gracie.

Gracie. Gracie. I love Gracie. Oh my God. Her album. Talk about a great album. What's your favorite song? On the other.

Well, I know you like Minibar. I like Minibar and I like Look at My Life. Love Look at My Life. She came on the show and I heard that whole album and I heard Look at My Life and I said This is the best song I've ever heard in my entire life. I love Look at My Life. Yeah. What else is there that I like from that album?

I love Daughter from Hell. I love Daughter From Hell. I love, I love Hit the Wall. I know that was a single, but I do love hit the wall and I love him. Oh, you give me the track list. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's the first up of my thing, of course. Okay, I love the knife.

Okay. Get into the knife, baby. I need to get into the knife. I love good reason. Good reason. Good reason, dude. You didn't give me a good reason. I'm listening.

I'm listening and loving it. I love Grace Abrams. Oh, can I just explain one more thing than I'll be done? Okay, there's this thing that I've invented. I actually talked to you about this last time, I think, on your podcast, I don't remember, but it's called the front follow.

And basically, if you think someone's hot, you'll be really good at this. Okay, tell me, tell me. So I was with my friend, my friend was like, oh my God, that guy's so hot. So what you do is you walk in front of them. Okay. But you're kind of guessing

where they're going, because you want to, like, you want to see them three or four times on, this really only happens in New York, but you want to see them three or four times they're on Soho, bump into them a coffee shop, bump into them in the next store. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that they see your face and that they recognize you. And then the next door, they're like, oh my God, this is so funny. Hi. And how do you know where they're going if they're in the front? So you have to guess. And then if you go into the right store, it's like meant to be. It's so much fun. So I'm really bad at it. Because I, I also have ADD, so I just like go into stores that I want to go into.

boyfriend and a long-term boyfriend, which makes this whole thing hard. But it's really fun, you should try it. Because then you both end up in acne and you're like, wait, this is meant to be. There's nothing better than like a real life meat cute. That's exactly what I'm creating. The only time that's ever happened to me was on an airplane. Tell me. I was coming back from Portland and some guy dropped a thing in my lap and it was like,

you're really cute. Here's my number. I'm like, oh, my God. Mani, do you remember this? What? And I'm like, oh my God, this is like, I am Cameron Diaz and a romcom. Totally. This is like the best day of my life.

I'm Kate Hudson. I'm Kate Hudson. Totally. And so I go, I get in the car on the way home and I text him and he goes, hey, are you still at the airport? Like, I have a layover. And I'm like, what? He wanted to like fuck in the airport bathroom. Would you have done it?

If I had a layover, you wouldn't have had to ask me twice. Totally. ass up. Ass up. As up, door locked. Locked. Because I'm like at this point like what else. Totally.

At this point what else we have to live for other than getting railed in an airport. What, okay, if you had to think like what time, okay, so 2026. A lot of people are saying we had a moment where it was like the 2000s are back. Do you think it's like 90s era right now? Like fashion wise? Vibe wise. Vibe wise. Because I would say vibe.

Like, I won't have to jump down my throat for saying this, but I kind of think we're like going vibe-wise, like 70s into 80s. Not fashion-wise, I just feel it a little bit. Wait, why, why, why? Everyone's smoking cigs. Because let me, everyone's smoking cigarettes, but I think the pop star is the modern day rock band.

Pop star is a modern day rock band. So like, back in the 80s and the 70s, you had a lot of like these like rock bands emerging. No, but you had a lot of rock band. fans emerging and a lot of groupies. Like pop star groupie culture was also like rock star groupie culture. Right. In my mind, how I view it.

So like, should we just get into the tummy what's wrongs? No, no, but I get what you're saying. But I want to know, so 70s because everyone's like kind of out on the streets. Everyone's like a hippie. Everyone's like fuck consumerism. But then like we're leading into the 80s. Everyone wants to party, party, party, party, party.

Yes. And Jared, what are you? you think? I couldn't agree more. Wait, really? I mean, honestly, yeah. I feel like it is late 70s into 80s. Wait, Jared really agrees.

I win. Jared, I love when you agree. When Jared agrees, it is really gratifying. And you both went to NYU. He went to Parsons. I went to NYU. Oh, Parsons. Was Emma the first person,

I'm talking to Jared. Was Emma the first person you ever worked with? Yeah. Ever. And how did that happen? I worked at a magazine, and I styled her there and it was like pure joy and then she reached out right like the magazine folded and as it folded what magazine was it garage magazine have you do you know garage magazine it's amazing

it was like me so it was like you would love id sister got it and then that was it and she was a baby she was like 19 wow what magazine in your both mind has stood the test of time i think interview i was going to interview is done unbelievable and i'll tell you why interviews done so well is because they've hit the social game really well. The way that like I swipe through an Instagram or an interview Instagram post because it's like the way their graphics are done are very well and they've had the same format. I had no idea since it started, which was like friends interviewing friends. I mean that's brilliant.

It's brilliant. That's brilliant. And it's like I'm like this magazine is like Andy Warhol interviewing like whoever. Totally. And it's always been that. way. They kind of led the way. Like that's, that's, you think so?

Yeah. Because I feel like everyone does that now. Yeah, everyone does that. They do. Every magazine is like, Jake Shane interviewing Owen Thiel. Right. Which, by the way, wait, interview Mel. Wait, I'm pitching.

I just pitched. I just pitched that. Right. Just now. To Mel. Mel. Mel. We have to do that.

And then when our movie comes out, we'll do a joint photo shoot. But who's going to interview us? I think we have to shoot for the stars. I think we got to get Brock. Not kidding. Us with Barack. Does he watch adults? Barack Obama?

See, you look at me and you're like, what? Have you seen his summer playlist? There's some stuff on there that I'm like, no way. I don't, I don't know. I hope. But also, I hope. This season, I'm, I have some intimate scenes. So I would, I would, it feels like, it feels like my father watching.

Are you new this season? Um, I'm nudeish, not, I'm nudeish. Okay. I'm not nude, but I'm doing things that I could be nude. It could be nude. What was different about filming season two to season one? We were just actual, I mean, season one, we were becoming best friends. And then season two, we were like, we actually just knew the dynamic.

And we, we sunk back into, like, being, you know, real friends. Does that make, like, doing things, like, improv easier? So much easier. Yeah. So much easier. Because like Amitha and I in a scene, that's like my actual best friend. Right. So now we're just playing.

You know what I mean? We're just having gone. And do you, is there an episode in this coming season that you're like this to me? I'm so proud of like my improvisation work. Well, you know what's so funny? Ben and Rebecca, the creators of adults, they write such brilliant scripts that actually sometimes I'm like, don't improvise. I shouldn't improvise because this is so well written.

It would actually be taking away from the joke. But you could do both. You could do both. I feel like there's an episode, episode four, it's called Raccoon. And the premise is a raccoon has been trapped in our house with us and we're on acid. Oh, have you ever taken acid? Never. Neither have I.

Should we right now? So here's my thing about acid. Acid is the one thing I get scared to touch. Why? Because the brain. The brain. And I'm scared to be in the constant loop of the acid brain or whatever it's both. Well, I've just heard of situations where people have taken acid and then they never come out.

That's what I'm saying. Like that bugs me out. Totally. Wait, I'm by the way, extraordinarily excited to go out with you tonight. I can't wait. No, Owen. I literally can't wait. And Ryan right now, like on that face time, he is on such good form.

And so is Peyton. Like, you're going to wake up and be like, I've never drank like that before in my entire. our life. I'm scared. No, don't be. It's fine. It's fun. Okay, well, let's get into the tell me what's wrong.

Because talk about all over the place. Well, totally. Tell me what's wrong, girl. I have fallen out of sexual attraction to my spouse. Like, we're still genuinely best friends, but that's kind of the thing he's giving me these weird friend vibes now. I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and that's kind of awkward because we just moved in together and have been together forever.

Um, what do I do? Invite a third? Right? Like invite a third. Totally. Well, you know my threesome story. Oh yeah. Your threesome story's awesome. I got so bored during my threesome that I had to ultimately go and do a skin care routine. While Jared was. While Jared finished the deed.

And then I walked in, skin glowing after my collagen face match 20 minutes. And I walked in and I go, you guys done? He goes, yeah, we just finished. I said, great. And I'll see you out. Well, you know my favorite story of yours is the first time you and Jared had sex and you had to pause to listen to the new Adele album. Well, of course. 25 had just dropped.

I go, well, River Leia got to listen to what she's saying. This is Emily. Hi. Don't apologize. I love your pants. She's so cute. So I would invite a third. Yeah, I would invite a third.

Because if they're still your best friend, like that's your partner. Roll play. Have you ever done that? I've never had the opportunity to do that. I think that's fun. Like going to a bar, sitting in a bar, your spouse walks in, you go, hi, I'm Ivanka. Have you guys ever done that? We've never done that.

We've never done that. But I'm going to be Ivanka tonight. Do you think you, like, could do it? 100%. Put me in a wig. Put me in a wig. I'll be anything. Wait, I really want you guys to do that just so I can hear about it.

Wait, also, you can watch it. Yeah, I'll be at the bar. Fuck it. Yeah. You're serving as strings? Yeah, I'm like, so what do you guys want? Do you guys know each other? You feel like you've known each other forever.

I go, no. I haven't asked it, no, we don't. My best friend cheated on his fiancé, and no one knows that I know. His fiancé found out and it's, okay, wait. Go back. What? My best friend cheated on his fiancé and no one knows that I know. His fiancé found out and is staying with him.

Well, that makes sense because they are engaged. Even though this is the second time he's cheated. I've been low-key ignoring them because I desperately want them to break up, but don't want to give away that I know about the cheating. Wait, keep going. Keep reading. Should I just ignore them or confess and tell them to break up? Like the wedding is soon.

Why are you making this about yourself? Leave it alone. Leave it alone. Never get involved in someone else's relationship. Because guess what? What if? What if they're open? Well, they're not.

Well, they're not. They're not. I wouldn't do anything about that. I would talk shit about it with other people and be like, can you believe that they... Totally. I'd start a group chat about it. I'd be like, can you believe that this is going on?

This is so insane. but it's not in my business. Totally. Why make it your business? I would talk so much shit that probably it would end up getting back to her. Right. You know what I mean? Has that ever happened to you?

No. Oh, that's happened to me. Really? So many times, Owen. Wait. And French are bending? No. Conversation starting.

Because I always say, yeah, I did that and I'm sorry. You own up to it. Because really, if somebody calls you in there like, I heard you been talking shit and you said, say, yeah, I have. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Also, I'm hurt by this.

Yeah. This thing. I'm, I'm, I'm. It's always I'm. Totally. I'm, I'm. If you go to them and you're like you, you, you'll be like, I can't. I don't.

Wait. At Crossroads School, the high school that I went to, there was this thing that they used to make us do. It was, wait, what was it? I don't use it clearly. But it's like really, it's a formal way to tell someone you're, You're hurt. Yeah, it's, I feel.

I feel hurt by this because, and I learned this in volleyball when another team was upset, that they, you like objectively cannot tell somebody that the way they are feeling is wrong. Totally. You can't, it's like in a, it's like a true. It's like, it's like, you're wrong. What do you mean? That's how they feel. Yeah.

So, like, you can't say that. So if you tell someone I feel this way, They can't be like, well, that's not true. What do you mean? You inside my mind? That's how I feel. That's actually my biggest fight with my dad. I love you, dad.

Is him being like, you don't actually feel that way. And me be like, I do. Right. I swear, go inside. I wonder who says that to me. Well, usually, if they're like, you don't feel that way, they're like, they're right. Oh. Like, Zach will be like, I know this is not.

Or he'll be like, you feel this way, but it's about something else. And I'm like, okay, you're right. You're bearing the lead. Yeah. Totally. I went on a date with this guy and he asked me if Louisiana was a state. Wait, it sounds so hot. Yeah.

It gave me the biggest ick. Do I give him a second chance? He also followed it up and asked if Utah was in Colorado. Okay, no. This, no. He's cute, but is this just too far removed from reality? Dash, Mark with a C. No, it's not far removed from reality.

He doesn't know anything. I'm going to give him a bit of grace. Wait, of course. Because like, you know, they, like, there are, like, what if he, I know. Okay, so the Louisiana state thing, I can get past. Utah and Colorado is crazy. I actually think the other way around. I'm like Louisiana he could think was a city.

Actually, yeah, that's pretty crazy. Louisiana, like in the song. Wait, what is that? Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut. You've never heard this? It's stunning. Who wrote this? Delaware, Georgia,

Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan. Wait, is that in the right order? It's like the alphabet's for the states. And I don't know the rest. I love that. I was never taught that.

No. Look, the only reason I have grace and a lot of people online are like he truly cannot be the stem. And look, I'm not. him, but because I was raised between New York and LA, I just inherently was a tad bit out of touch with, like, the geographics of the world. So I did think Florida was at the top of the map for a very long period of my life.

Uh-huh. Like, in a very real way. I thought it went like New York, Florida. Oh, because you know what? That, to me, makes sense. Because everyone here in New York is like, oh, my God, we'll just pop over to Florida. It seems like it's next door. It just feels like it's going to go.

Like down feels like Alaska. Anything down feels like Alaska. Mm-hmm. We just need to go to the next one. No, but I... Mm-hmm. Also, like... Yeah, I don't know.

That to me... Also, like, the only thing about this, tell me what's wrong that I have a problem with is, like, how hot is he? Totally. Well, we need to see a pick. I always need to see a pick. If somebody doesn't sound like

they can have a conversation with you, I got to at least you a pick. I'm so sorry. If Connor Story was sitting here and was like, is Louisiana State? I'd be like, who cares? Totally.

I'd be like, who gives a fuck? Totally. I'd be like, you're Connor's story. It doesn't matter what you do. So how hot is this person? It just really depends.

Right, right, right. What if they are really, really hot? Uh-huh. Um, uh, a really hot body, but a chopped face. Okay. Like, how hot's the body?

T, T is fuck. Doesn't matter. You don't care. You don't care about Louisiana being, not being a state, they think. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. I thought we were saying really great body, ugly face.

Yeah, and dumb. That's pushing it. That's really pushing it. Would you prefer a hot body or a hot face? Hot face. Hot face. Hot face. Always hot face.

Who cares? Hot face. I love Dad bod. Love. Give me a little stomach. Give me something to grab onto. Right? Like.

Totally. I'm slowly starting to hate my roommates. I'm single and they live together as a couple. Oh, Jesus Christ. That doesn't bother me as much as the constant being out of the living room cooking for every meal. So there's always dishes and now adopting a second cat that I will undoubtedly have to take care of sometimes. I've just gone into another year lease with them. Well, that's why.

Well, that's on you. And can't afford a move right now. Oh, totally. That's not on you anymore. I don't even really need advice. I just want to rant. Oh, I totally get it. DM me.

I love a rant. Do you know I'm in group chat? Sometimes, like, have you ever been put in a group chat where people are talking about you? And you're in the group chat? And it's like with like random people that follow you and they're like talking about you. Wait, never in my life has this happened to me. And I needed to happen now, now. It's kind of awesome.

Wait, obsessed. No, I love being added to group chats where people are planning. things. Like I was just added to this group chat where someone's planning their 21st birthday and I'm in it. They just added me to it. I read it sometimes.

I'm reading. They're getting mad at each other. Yeah. They're like, no, I don't want margaritas. I really want, I'm like, yes, fight for what you want. The best is when they send like the, like I'm randomly in there.

Sometimes I'll randomly be in people's friend group group chats on Instagram and they'll like send people that they know that I have no idea who they are and they'll like be talking shit about them. Oh, I'm always reading. Oh, yeah. It's very interesting. But in terms of this person and your lease, like, if you can't get out, you should force them out. Oh, interesting.

Like, just be like you, like, clean up. Start throwing fights, make new friends, and get those new friends to, like, take your side and be, like, clean up. I think you should just have this person here at your house. Just host them. Me? Yeah. Open up your room to them, Jake. Open your heart to me.

What song is that? Baby. What song is that? Open your heart to me, baby. What song is that? Something Madonna. It's so good. Oh, talk about good album.

Confessions, too, is amazing. Amate. Sabrina. Yeah. Madonna. Oh. I got something I want to talk about. It's so hot.

It's like, have you heard the song, Fragile? By the way, no. Oh, it's the best one. What is that? Fragile. I know you've been hurt, been let down. Have you ever heard of you singing this is making me not what to listen to it? Have you ever heard?

Okay, so Manny has her favorite Madonna song of all time. What is it, Manny? American life. Okay. And someone give Manny the mic very quickly because I need you to do the rap. I don't know all of it. I'm drinking a soy latte. I get a double shate.

It goes out through my body and you know I'm satisfied. I drive my Manny Cooper and I'm feeling super duper. Yo, they tell me I'm a trooper. And you know, I'm satisfied. I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties. So I'm checking out the bodies and you know I'm satisfied. I'm digging on the isotopes.

This is meta fixes. Shit is dope. And if all this can give me hope you know I'm satisfied. I got a lawyer and a manager and agent and a chef. Three nannies, an assistant, a driver and a jet, a trainer, a butler, a bodyguard, a five, a gardener and a stylist. Do you think I'm satisfied? I'd like to express my, I'd like to express my extreme point of view.

I'm not a Christian and I'm not a Jew. I'm just living. Wait, that part's amazing. I'm just living up the American dream and I just realized that nothing is what it seems. Do you know what's so beautiful about that? Yeah. That's, first of all, wow, that was a tour to force.

Yeah, it was amazing. No, that was a tour to force. There's something beautiful about her being like, I have a trainer, I have a trainer, a chef, this and then it ends with, do you think I'm satisfied? It's like, no. No.

What's your favorite Madonna song of all time? That's really hard. I'm just going to be basic. Mine is like a prayer. I mean, like a prayer is amazing. Because I do love like a gospel song. Like I love when a gospel choir gets involved.

Talk about jealous gospel edition. I am obsessed with gospel music recently. Yeah, it's amazing. I am obsessed with it. It's amazing. You know, I was adopted at birth. Do you know this about me? I was adopted.

And my birth father was a preacher. Really? Mm-hmm. Do you keep in touch? No, not at all. But I think it's in me. Okay. The gospel music.

Okay. The preach. I think like, I saw Jared sit up when I said jealous gospel version. Do you know what I'm talking about with Nick Jonas? Oh, yes. He has the whole choir singing jealous. Of course. So let me put you onto something underrated.

Yeah. There is a band called Laundry Day. Of course. You know. And they have a song called something like around the world or whatever. Okay. And they sing it with a gospel choir and it's nowhere on streaming and it is quite literally the best thing I've ever heard of my entire. Is it gorgeous?

It's beautiful. I need to get into it. I'm upside down. Other side of the world. Well, okay, so there's this video, but I might get canceled for this because I think it is AI. That's fine. You know what else is AI? What?

First time and sand won. Me, he hook. Come on. Hey. Capit. of Puerto Rico Ra ha The whole plane

That's when we landed Woo Immediately was enchanted It's so good It's so good Oh I love this song Ready? Yeah

And it's a baby And this is AI I'm too covered You can't play on me I love it Don't play with me What Got on my

sad. It's sick. I'm turning 32 this year and am single. Dating apps are so fucking bleak and any cute guy I do meet is taken or gay. Everyone keeps telling me I'll find a cute one when I least expect it. But that feels like total BS. I'm considering

signing up for one of those married at first sight shows. Do not do that. Don't do that. At this point, should I look into it or keep trying? I would like to ask you a question. Yeah, please. When you met Jared, did you feel hopeless before? Were you like There is no one out there for me.

Well, my boyfriend had just broken up with me. Okay. And in a really sad way where he broke, he came here, flew here. He went to Oberlin. I went to NYU. He flew here to break up with me. We went to dinner. So what's the point at that point?

He sat with me and said, it was actually like nice in theory because I wouldn't want to text. But also he sat with me and said, I'm breaking up with you at dinner. And I was like, no, no, no, no. We haven't even gotten the bread basket. I'm like, wait. I don't want to sit at dinner at this point. Just fake it. I'm like, can we just fake it?

So he was like, sure. So then we ended up faking it, having a great time. And he said, oh, maybe I don't want to break up with you. And then we went back to my dorm. We had sex. He did, he came on my face. And as he was coming on my face, he said, I'm sorry, this isn't going to work. And I was like, wait, there's, I was like, whoa, it's a lot to do.

And then he left, got in a cab and blocked me on everything. Blocked you? So was I hopeless? Yeah, I was hopeless. Yeah. And then Jerry came into your life. Yeah. My thing is every time I'm like, I don't give a fuck, somebody does come into my life.

Oh, I love that. And so I don't give a fuck right now. Totally weird. I don't. It's what I'm like. No, but it's like tonight I want to go out because I want to dance and party with my friends. Yeah. Every time I go out in the hopes of a guy.

It never works. It never works. Disaster. No, no, you can't be looking for it. And I'm off. The dating apps, you have to leave the house. The house. Yes.

I can't. The dating apps don't really. I've tried. I can't. It's very hard for me. Yes. You need to leave the house. You do.

What Manny discovered is if you go to a random bar and read a book alone, someone will come up to you. A book at a bar. She did it in? To me, performative reading. She did in D.C. It did it in D.C. I could, it would need to be a book appropriate for a bar. Does that make sense?

Yeah. And it can't be a Kindle. Oh, my God. Can't be a candle. You know what it could be? Divergent. Always Divergent. Always been Divergent.

You know my favorite meme of all time? What? What is that? You've never seen where Shailene's jumping from like the train tracks? No. She, Jared, you must know what I'm talking about. I love Divergent.

Love. What's your favorite Y.A. Thriller? Divergent. Really? Mine's Hunger Games. Because it is so well done. I mean, it's amazing.

It's brilliant. It's actually like very well done. But, okay, what does this remind you of? Uh, Uh, Wait, keep going. Ah.

Wait, hold on, hold on. Hold on. I'm not looking at you so you can do it. Ah. Ah. Ah.

It's divergent. Okay, it's Ellie Golding. Okay, hold on. Hold on, you guys. Well, you know that the Divergent soundtrack is the best movie soundtrack of all time. No, that's what I'm saying.

I need you. Wait, what? You've never heard the M83 song I Need You Where She Swings on the Zipline. It's beautiful. Or what else is what else is on there? There's another Ellie Goldie one on there that's like, here read me the track list of the Divergent soundtrack.

What the hell is that? Okay, beating heart. Yeah, beating heart. That's the end credit scene. Hanging on the song I just played you. I need you. She's on a zip line and they're ziplining through the city. I have chills.

I actually have chills. Yeah. And then what's the, there's another one that I just need to know. Beating heart. Lost and found. No. Stranger.

No. Dream machines. Dead in the water. No. No. No. No. Oh, waiting game.

Yeah, I know. I won't let you go. Maybe I don't know the soundtrack as well as I thought. You know who has a great soundtrack is, um, what's the, what's the show? Nobody wants this.

Yes. Great soundtrack. I love that show. Who's your boyfriend acoustic? Kristen Bell is amazing. Amazing. She's a light, yeah. Jake, I need advice.

I'm staying at my grandmothers for the week, and she likes to sleep at 55. Ooh, love that. How do you sleep in the cold without freezing your ass off? All her blankets are really old and thin, and I don't want to get claustrophobic by layering a thousand hoodies, etc.

Am I doomed? No. And I'll tell you why you are being a little stubborn. Your grandma, old people get very... Well, actually, that's quite interesting. I actually thought they get cold easier. But regardless, you can't... Rip.

It's better to be cold than hot because if you're, if you're sweating, sweating, sweating so hot, you can't rip your skin off. I agree. You can always add layers. I agree. Go to a local CVS, get a fucking throw blanket, and figure it out. I agree. I agree. I'm sorry.

Also, 55? That's a dream for me. I love being cold, don't you? 62. I love being cold. It is my favorite thing in the entire world. I'm upset. I want my wedding to be in the.

The snow. A hundred percent. Where is your dream wedding? Not in the snow. Yeah. But, um, but I, I don't know. Maybe just like, maybe, let's just do it in L.A. It's easy.

Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck it. It's easy. It's easy. Or in New York, even. I don't hate it. Upstate.

Okay. Ooh, upstate. My, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I want to do English countryside. I would love that. It's just too hard to get everyone there. No, that's the point. You're stuck. Oh.

It's like, fuck it, let's just party. That's so fun. Yeah, that's my idea. Okay, I'm going to copy that. A few times I have noticed that my ex will view the first Instagram story I post, but won't click forward to the second or third. I'm not someone who posts like 100 in a day, usually a couple every now and then. Why is he just viewing the first and swiping out?

Is this for attention? I kind of miss him, so please help. I would be like he can't keep going. He can't resist. Also, I recently downloaded Instagram Plus, so I can search who views. my story. And let me tell you. I need that.

It's $2.99 a month. It is the best purchase I've ever made in my time. $0.99. I think if I remember correctly, Louise did it and she by accidentally verified herself. And she couldn't post for a month. Wait, can I just say something? I always check my ex's stories on Instagram. And I'll do it on my main.

You don't have an ex, but I'll, every situation ship, check. You don't, you don't do it on your main. No, I do it on my main. Same. I do it on my main too. I could give a less of a fuck. Hello. Look at my name.

I'm thinking of you. Totally thinking of you, babe, heart. Have we already talked about my shaved head on this podcast yet? And you think it's a good idea? I love the shaved head idea. Okay. Do I need an earring? No, baby, no.

What, are you Eminem? Do I need a tat? Eminem? What are you, Eminem? Why are you doing that? Just shaved head. Yes. Jared.

Come on. We can't get into Macklemore Territory. Does he have a shaved head? Malcolm, Maclemore? Malcolm Moore. Does he have a shaved head? No, he has everything else, though, I'm sure. To me, he has a shaved head and earring and a tap.

Have you ever heard the song by Maclemore? I don't belong in this club. No, and I'll probably like it. I need you after this to listen to, I don't belong in this club by McLemore. There's a part in the song where he goes, I'm having the worst time in this club, and the DJ yells McLemore in the house tonight.

And I go, ah, shit. And the chorus starts again. And it is the best song I've ever heard. I need that in my veins. And the DJ yells Maclemore in the house. house tonight. Oh shit. Hey.

Hey. I'm faded. And boom. I don't belong in this club. One dance. No chance. Because I feel it awkward as fuck. Oh, wait, what?

I thought it was going to be I don't belong in this club again. No, you would think. Well, Owen, what did we learn today? I feel like we learned so much. Okay, I feel like we learned that you would look great with a shaved head. Which I'm getting on August 20th, save the date. Save the date. Save the date, babe.

I'm starting to talk like you. Save the date, baby. I feel like, what else did we learn? We've learned that we are truly creative partners. No, I see you and I love you. I see you and I love you. I think we, well, we learned not in this podcast, but we did learn how to write a joke. Yes, 100%.

And we are really good at it. It's really fun to write a joke. That's fun. And you know what else I learned? You're going to need to come over in a few hours so we can actually talk shit and write jokes. I feel like we've actually learned a lot. But you know what? We also learned that you can watch adults.

We've learned that you can watch adults on August 27th. All eight episodes are premiering on Hulu. It is season two. It is fantastic. I make a guest starring role in episode two. Jake is fabulous in episode two. Thank you very much. I actually, I want to use the word fabulous.

You are fabulous. I'm very excited for people to see it, but you can watch all eight episodes on August 27th. It is created by the wonderful Ben and Rebecca. They're amazing. My episode was directed by the wonderful Jonathan Chrysle.

I had the best time of my life filming. I have the best time here. This is amazing. I mean, I could sit and talk to you for another hour. Same. Well, this is just fun. Sorry. I know.

Sorry, we're friends. Sorry, I'm sorry that we're friends. Sorry that we're friends and we actually love to be together. All the time. Wait, that was crazy. Well, Owen. I love you.

And I'll see you tonight. I'll see you tonight. Bye, pussies.