Therapuss with Jake Shane - Session 45: Role Model Returns

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Role Model and it's the same but he lost People's Sexiest Man of the Year Award so it's not... PUSS & POEMS Out November 22nd! Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Follow Tucker @rolemodel Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Solving your problems with the famous person on the couch. If there are buddies shook. It's me, Jake Shane. Hi, Pussies, and welcome back to Therapus. I guess we have a few things to go over. Number one, I'm finishing up my tour this week. I'm going to San Francisco Thursday and L.A. Friday. For those who didn't see, I announced my debut comedy album, Puss and Poems out this Friday.

I guess midnight on Thursday. But, yeah, if you watched Therapy's season one and you watched Alexander 23's episode, you know this has been a long, long time coming. You guys know I'm obsessed with pop stars and I've always wanted to be a pop star. So Alexander 23, my dear friend, finally allowed me to become one. And we created my debut comedy album. If you watch his episode in season one, you remember he brought his guitar. We sang a little to do about JetBlue.

And like the rest is history, honestly. like that's kind of how Pryson Poems was born. And then he invited me into the studio and I thought he was kidding. But thank God he wasn't. And then I actually, I came and we recorded JetBlue and we were like, this is actually really fun. So then I kept going back and we kept doing more and then suddenly we had an entire body of work on our hands.

And I'm really excited for you guys to hear it. Also, I'm so grateful for everyone that was willing to participate in it. Tate McCray, Joe Jonas, Jack Schlossberg, Snooky, Mba Jules. I love you all dearly. Thank you so much. You guys made it, what it is.

I'm just really, really, really excited for you guys to hear it. I'm like honestly kind of nervous because like the songs are true. They're true experiences. Each and every one of them. So yeah.

I guess it's, I guess it's in your hands now. But, um, wow, I really feel like a pop star over here. But we recorded, um,

we also recorded a mockumentary that we'll put out. and a music video for a special song. I just really hope you guys think it's funny. Like, I don't mean to beg for laughs, but at this point, like, I am. So, like, stream Puss and Poems out November 22nd. Oh, today's episode. Well, he came back.

Tucker is back for season two. It didn't feel right to do season two without Tucker. And it was a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. lot of fun. I love Tucker more than anything. We, um, I think we love each other more than anything. I don't really know what else to say. Um, yeah. Also, I just wanted to say thank you to you guys, the pussies. You really do make my dreams a reality. And even if I know it's all jokes and it's all funny, but it really means a lot to me. And, um, I really wouldn't be here without you guys. And I love you all so much. Seriously. Tense up and enjoy the episode. Love you Pussies.

Hi Pussies and welcome back to Therapus today. We have, sorry, I just stumbled on my words. Fuck you. Hi Pussies and welcome back to Therapus. I didn't look in the camera when I said it. Tucker, I can't. Okay. One second. Hi Pussies and welcome back to Therapus today. We have a very special guest. You might all remember him from last season or from his hit song, Look at That Woman. He also just went on tour with Gracie Abrams and lost people's sexiest man of the year.

Please welcome back. Role model. Hi, Tucker. Why would you do that? I don't know. I just feel like I needed to lay it all out really quickly. It just would have been cool to start this on like a positive note and to be like... We haven't been positive, though.

There's been beef. That really did it for me just now, though. Okay. You doing that in the intro really just set me... I voted for you. Did you? Yes. Do they email you?

No. So you didn't vote because everyone who voted gets emails from People magazine every day and they complain about it. Okay. well, maybe I put in my spam email, but I did vote for you. Okay. I appreciate that. I really thought you would win. Who'd you lose to?

Let's move on. Okay. Let's move on. We can fact check it right here. Yeah, what is this? Is this a painting or is that like a green screen? It's a painting. Okay.

Very cool. Abstract. Okay, well, how about this? Okay. Because last time one of the first things you asked me was, I was pissed about. Octopist about. Therapist about.

I think you've had quite the morning. You've had a rough start today. And I would love for you to maybe open up and talk about that. Okay. You want to hear about my morning? I've already heard about it, but they haven't. No, no, you haven't heard about my full morning. Yeah, you got off of, yeah. So me and Tucker were really excited to make this work.

We had a lot to work out. And today was the only day Tucker was available. So you know what I did, Tucker? Because I'm busy. you're busy. What are you doing? Keep going. Keep going. I took a 7 a.m. flight out of Fayetteville, Arkansas. Your favorite place? My favorite place. Yep. You, yeah. And I woke up at, well, I actually got one hour of sleep. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, like, because I thought I would miss my flight. And then I would miss you, Tucker. So I woke up and I got on the flight at 7 a.m. And we landed. And then I got to get, lucky me, I got to go on another flight. and then I came straight here and I exchanged some words with someone in my life and now we're here.

Go more, let's dig deeper into that person in your life. I know we can't say specifically their role, but maybe you could describe them as someone who has supplied you a place to, has given you the shelter or watches over the... Right. place that you live. Well, actually, they don't watch over, and I think that might be the crux of the issue.

Yeah, so. And what happened? I got in a fight with someone on the phone. You did. I'm like, I... And then what'd she do? She flipped me off when she saw me. An old woman.

Okay. Too far. Again, we don't know her role. We don't know her name. But an old woman, as soon as I got here, I was like in the middle of flipping Jake off. An old woman usually love me. Yeah, I could see that.

Do they love you? I think so. I think so too. How was tour with Gracie? It was great. We're done with your morning. I mean, I got Airwant for lunch, if you care. Cool.

It's fair of you. Tor was great. I loved Tor with Gracie. It was the wholesome sweat tour. It was the sweat tour for people who wear loafers. and it was amazing. Did people wear loafers? They did.

And everybody's got a bow. She's got that on lock. She does have that on lock. What was your favorite city? Have you gone to a show, a Gracie show? Have you gone to a Therapus Live show? No, I haven't. You know what?

So funny, you ask, I have gone to a Gracie show. Okay. But it was Erez? No. It was a good ridden store. Okay, cool. What do people wear to your shows? It depends.

You would know if you came, but it was in, they wear octopus onesies. Of course. Sometimes they wear shirts. Someone wore a shirt that said Jake Shane's on O Zempec. The Ares Tour merch with my face on it. They do that for me too sometimes. I know they do.

Okay. People are asked about you at every stop. That's not true. Louise? Really? Every single stop. And you know, they asked me my favorite episode of season one. You know what I would say?

Is it mine? That's awesome. I will say. I had a great time. But I will say the comments of like on that video and every clip that I saw were wild. What was your favorite? I don't know. Like, I saw one about me telling you to take out your bicep and show me your biceps.

I don't have those anymore. You do. No, I lost them on tour. Show us your bicep. No, they flap back at you now. Jake, show me your bicep. Like, look. Pull your sleeve up a little bit.

That's muscle. Tucker, it's waving at you. It's my, the muscle is so big that it's just moving around. It's flapping. It's incredible. I, I stopped working out on tour. I really let myself go. Do you do that on tour?

I try to, um, work out on tour. Why can I imagine you working out? That's rude. No, I'm just, I can't imagine you. I just can't. Mm-hmm. Do you run? I run.

I do it all. Okay. Okay. And you can't tell? No, I can tell. I'm not saying I can't imagine. You can't picture me doing it. I can't picture you taking something like that seriously.

Yeah. Right. I get that. It hurts, but I get that. No, it's not. It shouldn't hurt. Okay. Well, this is.

Somehow this is worse than last time. Are you, is there anything your therapist about? today? My toilet overflowed this morning. Why? I don't know. It just... You don't know?

Overflowed and then, like, flooded my bathroom. But what were you doing for it to overflow? I know what you're trying to get to, and I don't shit. Okay. I don't. That's fine. I didn't think you did. I was just curious.

No. And it just overflowed and flooded my bathroom. And my first instance, like, I just... didn't know what to do. I did have a little bit. I felt like you a little bit. I had like a little bit of a panic attack. Oh. And I, my first instinct was to call my mom. Oh. Yeah. And she was like, what's she going to do? Figure it out. Exactly. I was like showing her and, um, showing her what? The active like volcano of a toilet that was like spilling onto my house. So did you leave with the toilet? I cleaned it the best I could. It stopped and then I cleaned it and then, um,

Um, there's a plumber that might be at my house right now. So pretty. I was pissed about that, but I feel safe. You feel safe now? You know what's one thing you shouldn't be pissed out? Mm-hmm. Your amazing haircut. Thank you.

Awesome. Do you like compliments? Yeah, I do. Okay. Um, do you want to talk about the sulfur smell in your home that I've heard about? It was like the first thing I heard about when I walked in. Okay, so this is a really vulnerable topic, and I know, low-key can't believe you just brought that up.

And guys, Jake was here alone, by the way, so do the math on where that stench would be coming from. I wish you could see it too, because the way they are shooting this, you can't see it because of the light, but he has these, like, green, like, squiggly lines coming off the top of them. And there's these little flies buzzing around them. My God, does it stink in here? Mm. So there's a sulfur smell, if you couldn't tell already, in my house. I got home to it today, and it was really jarring to say the least.

Yeah, that would be tough to come home to, especially you just came back from tour. Yep. And now you're doing this, too. I know. You're a trooper. I will say that. You are a trooper for getting off tour this morning and doing this. Thank you.

That's all I wanted. I'm very impressed. Thank you. Being honest. And I'm awake. Yeah. Do you want to talk about tour? How was it?

It was, yeah, we could talk about tour. It was amazing. It was your first, like, real headline tour? Mm-hmm. Yeah, what do you do? I want to know. I have, like, a real run of showdown. Run me through it.

Well, I don't know if I want to spoil it for the viewers at home, because, you know, comedy is all about the... I just, like, did you see what I just did with my head? I just, I'm used to it now. Okay. Um, I, like, I start off and I do a thing. And then I do another thing. This is the best podcast ever. My God.

So the new question that we're asking people in season two is what brings you in today? Yeah, I forget this is supposed to be like a therapy set. This is like almost like a therapy session. Yeah. I forget about that. I don't know, but we should treat this like an actual... You want to? Like, we should actually treat this like a therapy session.

Okay. I could learn things about myself. Okay. Have you ever gone to therapy? Mm-mm. That's what I'm saying. Never? It'd be cool to do it on camera.

Okay. As a social experiment. So, like, how are you feeling today? I know, but can we at least, like, role play it a little bit? Okay. Like, act the whole thing out. Okay. So do you want to be a therapist or do you want me to be a therapist?

No, I'm the patient. Okay. This is your podcast. Okay. I'm on the long couch, too. Tucker, welcome in. I'm so excited to get to know you. Yes.

Have you ever done therapy before? I haven't. I'm kind of nervous. Oh my God. Okay. So why are you here? What brings you in? I just, I, like, I've never gone, and I just feel like a lot of people say really good things about therapy and how it helps them. And so I thought it would be cool to give it a try. I also have this friend. Do you? His name's Jake. And he, like, drives me insane. Like, fucking pisses me off. And I'm just like, I want to keep that friend.

friendship close and like I do value him. Yeah. I totally get that. But in my head it's like I treat him like an animal. No, I 100% get that. And I don't want to think that way. I totally understand that. It's so funny, you say that.

A lot of people come in and tell me about how amazing Jake is. Really? Yes. So I think we're talking about the same one. Other patients have a friend named Jake. So I would just like to know what about him makes you so angry. I don't know. I feel like sometimes I have to do like tiptoe around him.

Are you fucking serious? And I feel like I have to, you know, when there's, you have like certain friends. Totally. That, um, you kind of have to treat like a princess to like make them happy and to almost like treat them like royalty. Okay. Especially when they start making it up in the business and they start getting like St. LaRont's sneakers and like nice watches. That's so weird.

I have the same sneakers. Hold on. And they start going on tour. and touring the country and I feel like you end up having to almost bow down to them in a way and I just feel like that's not what friendship is about. No, that's not what friendship is about.

Like, what about Jake has ever made you feel that way? Because in therapy, we like to get into specifics. Yeah. Blanket statements are no fun in therapy. I don't know that because I haven't been. Right. It's cool that this is my first time. And I just want to ease it into.

I don't want to feel like I'm... The problem immediately. No, you're not the problem at all, but, like, you know, blanket statements are a problem. They are. So, like, princess, what do you mean by that? Um, I don't know. I don't know exactly. I guess that is a blanket statement.

I don't know. Wow. It's just, I guess it's more of an aura thing or, or, like, if I ran into Taylor Swift, I wouldn't, I would, there would be, like, an aura thing where I would have to, I would probably drop to my knees and, So you're saying your friend Jake is kind of like Taylor Swift. Yeah. What do you mean? Oops. Like, you know, you just complimented him.

Yeah, I love Jake. Like, Jake's a good friend of mine. I think Jake loves you too. Very cool. Bless you. I don't think that was a sneeze. And then also in therapy, there's usually other people in the room. Sometimes, yeah.

Really? No. and cameras. Are you deciding to break the third wall on purpose? No, I'm just asking. Or is that the fourth wall? Fuck my life. I'm asking you, as my new therapist, it just feels uncomfortable and I feel like I can't

fully open up. You wanted to play this game. Stop. Now you're breaking. Okay, okay. No, there's not usually cameras and a group of people, but for you, there is. What should I say to Jake? How should I act around him?

You should, you should it tiptoe around him. I think, um, I know, but I've seen. seen, he has this rage inside of him. Oh, he does? I'm telling you right now. He has this like dark, dark heart, like a rage inside of him. And he used to work out. And I remember just feeling he stopped recently, but I feel like. How do you know he stopped working out? Because he's my friend, like, we talk. Oh, okay. So you can't tell or anything? I can't tell. I can't tell. Okay. Just making sure for him. He looks buff, which is, what I'm saying is like I can't it's like I tiptoe for my own safety around him because I've seen him like crash out and

that you it's like when did you see him crash out he's so he's like a famous he has a certain level of fame and he how famous and he pretty famous I think oh that's cool how like would you consider him like a celebrity I would say he a lot of his friends are celebrities holy shit okay and um I think he's friends with a lot of celebrities. Right? Sorry, I was just talking to the other group. Continue? For the record, I'm never coming back to therapy.

It's been a really weird experience. You're talking to other people while I'm talking to you, and you're whispering. There's a smell. There's a sulfur stench that I can't get out of my nose right now. I'm like suppressing my... So... Gag reflex. Okay.

I don't really know where to go from here. Okay, that was good, but that was a good bit. Yeah, it was great. At this point, we just have to fill time. Like, there's so, like, we need, we ran through the talking points. I feel like I brought maybe, like, two talking points. It was like you going on tour. And then I gained a new one when I came in here with the Sulfur situation.

And now I'm like, I'm out of talking points. So we have to just fill the space. Okay. Unless you have more questions. No, I, I, I, I should. Good, right? You're a podcaster. Right.

So you're going on your own tour. Yeah. When do you leave? On, I leave for Dublin. We start in UK-EU. Ooh, sheik. I start in Dublin on, I don't know. We leave Friday and then we play.

We start on Sunday. Okay. I don't know when this comes out. Okay. We'll be playing. Well, when do you, how long are you on tour for? We do Europe, UK. until like December 12th or something

and then we go to Australia in the first week of February and then we do US we finish in the US I'll be sure to be there for the US shows okay okay well what are you what city are you most excited for

have you ever been to I've never been to Ireland I really don't like traveling like I really don't like it why it's just the worst to me like I hate airports and planes and lines and Would you say it gives you anxiety? We were talking about this the other day.

The only time I feel like I get anxiety is when I'm on a plane, when I'm on a plane for more than like six hours. I freak out. Do you have claustrophobia? No, I just like, I can't, I don't know. I've also had weird experiences on planes. I've, like, passed out multiple times and, like, fainted. Tucker, I think you have really bad,

anxiety. I don't. That sounds like untreated, repressed anxiety. No, because every time that that happened, it happened three times in the past four years, and it was all from edibles. So you had an anxiety attack on edibles? Yes, which is why I stopped smoking weed. When did you stop smoking weed? Year and a half ago. And have you, have you seen your life improve? One hundred percent. Okay, because I kind of want to stop smoking weed. You should. Jake, I did it every day for years. That's what I do. And it gave me a freak out every time. Like, I would have a panic attack every time I smoked weed, but I would still do it every day.

Okay. Because one, I would tell myself that it helps me sleep and I can't sleep without it, which ended up not being true. I did it help you, like, write, too? And then the other thing is, like, thinking that you're, like, creative on it. Like, none of it's true. Okay. I think I'm addicted. Do you think you were addicted? I don't think so. I think I was just telling myself that I needed it to do those two things.

And then I stopped. Did you face any, like, withdrawal when you did it? Zero. I slept like a baby the first night. Okay. I'm one day clean. A half. I'm half a day clean.

I smoked last night. Ah, sister. Let's keep an eye on this journey, guys. I think we should. We should. I think we should. I love this. Oh.

Where are your shoes from, Tucker? Where are your fucking shoes from? You want to come from my St. Laurent's? Why don't you tell the audience where your shoes are from? The only reason I brought them up is because of that goddamn TikTok account. The TikTok account. Jake Chin styled? Oh.

Oh. I don't even know. What TikTok account? San Lorenot Cowboy, the guy who's impersonating me. I'm really sick of this weird narrative that you pull with. That's why I thought you... I thought you did. Okay, do you want to tell the audience where your shoes are from, though?

Um, Lou Aveevee. Speaking of the mic. Contact me. You're Louafe. Tucker likes to talk a big game, but... It wasn't about the fact that you were wearing design. her shoes. Are you gaslighting me?

I'm not. I'm really not. You took it there because I was like, oh, nice shoes. That's not what I meant. I wasn't thinking you were flexing. I was like, oh, St. Leonard Cowboy. So that's a me problem. Yeah, but I love you for your me problems.

I think I love you for your me problems. Thank you. I think we're getting somewhere here. I think we're getting somewhere too. So are you going to go to Amsterdam? You. Everyone, the other people in this therapy session are nodding yes. Oh, I am.

I am. Are you excited to, so you're not going to smoke weed in Amsterdam? I'm not going to smoke weed. Like, that phase in my life is done. Are you going to party at all? See, I don't, yeah, maybe. I don't, like, party. Are you taking a bus around Europe?

Mm-hmm. Are you excited for the bus? Yeah. Yes. I am. Have you taken a bus before? Mm-hmm. I don't, it's not my favorite thing, but it is more fun in Europe.

Those buses are better. Yeah, they're double-deckers. They're insane. Can you poop on those? Nope. Is that a problem for you? I also don't do that. Okay.

We went over that. Cool. Do you sleep in the bunk or do you sleep in a bed? Bunk. Oh, yeah. That's what I wanted to talk about. You motherfucker. You are a princess.

Your first tour and you have a bed in the back of your tour bus. I have been touring for how many years? Five years now? Never once have I had a bed in the back of my tour bus. I grind it out with the peasants, okay? We coexist in the stacks. Do you like the stacks? I hate it.

Really? I would love to have a bed. You know why you hate the stacks? You know what? I wouldn't be able to sleep a night because I would know that my band members are getting stuffed into those little cubbies while I'm like having the best night of my night. Best what? Life.

I don't really know what to say to you right now. I'm just saying it's a blessing. You should feel blessed. I do feel blessed. Do I not seem blessed? No, I don't know. You seem blessed. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm sorry if that came off like I was attacking you. I was attacking you. But I'm sorry. No, it's okay. Forgive you. Yeah. But that is crazy.

I was very jealous. It was cool. I also got my bed jet on my, on the bus. You're what? My bed jet. What is that? It's my, it's like a tube that you put under the bed.

To make it cold? And it blows hot air or cold air. So when I get out of the shower, I get under the bed and I put on turbo hot. No, sorry, I put on heat and it blows hot air. And then when I go to bed, I put on turbo cold. My God. But I've recently upgraded from the bed jet at home to an eight sleep mattress. What is that, you ask?

it tracks your sleep and your heart rate. It also cold. Like you can make it really cold or you can make it hot. It wakes you up vibrating and it can wake you up with heat. So I go to bed with it on negative 10 and it feels like the cold side of the pillow all over the bed. And then I wake up buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. And it's on a plus four plus six. So I wake up all toasty.

It's, yeah. You lost me. Where? I don't know. I don't know. It is crazy. Meanwhile, I'm, like, stuffed in a cubby on a bus, getting fucking railed by the strips,

the strips on the highway. Uh-huh. And there's, like, scabs and, like, weird, like, loose hair in my bunk. And there's, like, wires. I have, like, a phone charger that fell out in the middle of the night. It's, like, wrapped around my neck. Whoa. And then you are in your little palace.

Well, I don't have the mattress on the bus. I just have the mattress at home, but I did ship out the bed yet. Mm-hmm. You know, I have to make sure Passandra is comfortable. I know. I know you do. Did you miss her?

I did. Oh. What do you think about? Like, in your off time, like when you're not doing this and we're not speaking right now, like, what's going on in your head? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I think a lot. I think you do, too. I, well, I'm very open about how much I think. I think we both probably think a lot. I think yours probably comes out your mouth more. And I keep mine.

And also I think yours is probably like, if you just had ping pong balls, like flying around. Yeah. There's mine. There's like shelves and units up there where I can like. Okay. What's like one of your most used shelves? I don't know. I think I judge people.

Oh. Quite a bit. I think I do. Quietly. I'm not like, you know. Okay. What do you judge them on? And that's not always a bad thing.

I think I'm just constantly like. Sometimes it is. I'm judge you too, but I'm pretty open about it. Right. I'm not. So people just think you're a nice guy. Yeah, I think I'm a nice guy, but, um, but yeah, I have thoughts. I don't know.

Like I went, like, I went down a spiral when you were talking about the, your bed situation with the tube and heart rate stuff, all that. What was your spiral? I just was like. You're stressed about the bus. I was honestly, I was like how, I was thinking about how, to change like move this podcast forward and almost almost do your job in a way and like thinking about how to keep it moving and like the next topic to bring it up I've brought up like I think

I'm just so many topics I know you're doing great you're doing great it was I was just being honest with you that is what I was doing what would you like to talk about that's fine I'm just telling you what my internal thoughts are I'm being honest no I appreciate the honesty so what do you What do you want to talk about, Tucker? Is there anything that, like, you would enjoy speaking about? I love our banter that we are having. Me too. I'd love for it to just continue.

Okay. I'm going to lay back. You know what? I have noticed, though. Please tell me. I have realized recently that it's very hard for me to sympathize. I feel like right now a lot of people are getting, going into relationships right now. It's how you say.

Cuffing season. Yep. that was like the first time we've ever really been on the same page I think we're starting to sync up I bet by the end of this episode we will be synced I think we're going to be synced too and I think I'm a lot of like I have friends who are like starting to get going to relationships and like or at least just going on multiple dates with the same person

and it's like leading to something and I'm realizing that I have a hard time sympathizing with people who are having relationship problems or like bumps that early on in their little like relationships. I actually totally agree with you. Because I want my own. No.

No. No. We're not seeing that. Like, because I'll get coffee with like friends and they'll be telling me and they'll be venting about how like they just started seeing this person a month ago and like there's already a little issues and we had to like have a sit down and they had to kind of change this about myself and like. she's going to work on this or whatever. I'm like, I'm a firm believer that it should be easy and like smooth in the beginning. Like if you're already having bumps,

totally. Like I just can't sympathize with it. And then they're like, yeah, I have to change this or like, whatever, like just changing anything about yourself. Like I feel like that's a huge red flag and I just can't sympathize with people who are having, who are like coming to me with issues

in a relationship that just started. has this happened to you recently? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Okay. I have like two friends who have recently started going into a relationship and they're just like coming to me. I totally get that. As someone who's incredibly desperate, like I would change parts of myself for someone. You don't do that.

I have to. I'm a firm believer that you don't have to, that that is not true and that it can be easy and that there is someone. obviously it's so much easier to like settle and find someone who's like oh my god jake shane you're so fucking hot like i want to or you can wait a little bit and come across the perfect a little puzzle piece for you but i've been waiting 25 years and have the most like romantic sex rather than like oh jane you're so fucking hot and like you know don't you want to mix of both yeah i should think you i think there is a balance i think there is a balance but um I'm more saying, like, you don't have to settle and change things about yourself.

Okay, that was nice. Do you say this to your friends when they come to you, or do you just silently judge them? That is what I've been doing. So that's why it's an issue. So you should say something. Are you scared that they would get mad at you? But I can't say anything because my, the only thing I want to say is like, yeah, you shouldn't be doing, like, you should find someone else. Like, break up.

So say that. Always my, people don't want to hear that, Jake. But then they shouldn't come to you and ask for advice. They don't want to hear it. Yeah, but people just like to vent. I don't know. Okay, you know what? So valid.

Sometimes I vent. And then I just have nothing to say. Not with you. Sometimes with you. But I just, you know. And then I feel bad. And I'm like, breakup is the only advice I have.

But you can't really say that. Have you met these people's significant others? But this is also, like, not just recent. This is like, over the past, like, whenever. Like, anytime a friend starts seeing someone and they're like, yeah, it's going well. but like they kind of like embarrassed me here in front of all the friends and blah blah and I'm like I can break up what's your star sign again tourist is that a tourist thing to do no we like material things

we like st. Laurent sneakers and you do like material things is that because I don't is that because I said that because I said that to you last time because that's what I always say about I know but every time I say I'm a tourist they're like oh you like the finer things yeah every tourist I know likes the finer things Louise this is the only nice thing I have. Oh, please. Really? Oh, really?

Please. I've seen your house. Aside from the software, it's fucking rich, my boy. And I've seen your house on FaceTime. Yeah. Quaint. Quaint little Spanish doors. That's not...

Quaint. It's cute. Humble. I'm just like, I don't know what advice you want me to give you on your friends if you can't speak to them. I don't think there is. it was more just me vent. I think this is how it would go. I'm now realizing this is how it would go

if I had a therapist. I would be like, you don't have to say anything. Right. I also don't like love advice either. You don't? I don't like advice. Why?

Do you think your way is the right way always? No, no, no, no. I just think advice is so, like, across the board, it's so situational. Like, um... You're on an advice podcast. I understand that, but it's like, let me think of how to word this. Okay.

I'll drink my Celsius in the meantime. What were we talking about, though? You were trying to word something politely. Advice. No, this isn't towards you at all. Oh, okay. I promise. I just think it's so situational.

Like, me being like, like, if you asked me for advice and you're like, kind of what we're talking about, where you're seeing someone and you already feel like you have to change things about yourself. Me being like, break up with them, I have no idea about your past or like what you've been through

or if this other person is like gaslighting you into feeling it. Like it's just so situational. Do you think that your advice to just break up with them is almost like inconsiderate? I could be. Sometimes I just think the advice is inconsiderate. Like if you're like, yo, if I'm telling someone to like drop out of college because that like worked for me.

What vape is that? Oh, thanks, Grace. My God, look at you. It lights up. Please don't cut this up. Ready? I want the world to see this. Have you seen this one?

I want the world to see this. Have you seen this? No. My God. You're something else. Let me try it. Remember last time? That was a good clip.

That was a good clip. I remember. That was a great clip. I hope we get good clips this stuff. I'm trying to think of what we could do to get clips. Oh, that's all you've been thinking about? That's one of the thoughts. Wait, I was just making a point, though.

If I told someone to drop out of college, because it, like, worked for me, barely, but it worked for me. Seems like it worked for you. But it was close. But, like, me driving out of college worked. But me telling. someone else to do that. Like, you've no idea what their situation is.

Like, they might not have, like, a home. My parents still lived in Maine, so I took a U-Haul from Pittsburgh to Maine and got to, like, stay with them until I could figure out how to get to L.A. Well, what does that have to do with this relationship? We're talking about advice now. We're just talking about advice.

Oh, sorry. Like, advice is weird to me. I don't like to take it and I don't like to give it. But you need to. I don't know. Anyways. How much do those sneakers cost? How much?

I'll tell you if you tell me how much your boots cost. I can't. How much your boots cost? I can't. Oh, you can't, but I can? I have a sugar daddy, and he got them for me. Okay, so how much were that? Usually the sugar daddy will send them to the bill.

And he happens to be in the room right now. Oh, well, no. How much were there? No. Oh, are those leather? Let me feel. That's leather. You can smell if it's plethora or leather.

What else should we talk about? I feel like no one asked you about your sex life. I haven't had sex in a really long time Because I think everybody sees you as this like cute little stuffed animal Um Having Like I was like you know what I mean I haven't had sex

Do you want to guess the last time about sex? Eight months Long 11 11 Coming up on a year Coming up on a year Jake

I know I don't even want it anymore Really? No Maybe you could cut that and weed out of your life. Cut. It's already cut out. Right.

I haven't had sex in almost a year. What's the last time you had sex? I don't know. We're not doing that. I just wanted to ask you because I feel like they want to know. I feel like the people who are fans of your podcast want to know about your sex life probably. So you're going on tour. You don't want to talk about that.

You don't want to talk about your sex life. You don't want to talk about anything, actually. I would say the advice part of the last time we did this was like horrible. On whose end? Mine. Okay, so do you want to redeem yourself? I have some more questions. Perfect timing.

Because you just started recapping as you do. But that's good. This is perfect timing. You started recapping and now we get to do this. I'm really not over your haircut. It's seriously amazing.

Thank you. You get a new tattoo. No. I love your tattoos. Thank you. You're welcome so much. Am I the problem? I go on tons of first dates.

I'll focus on something wrong. with them and eventually get the ick to the point where i cannot come back from it if i find someone i actually like they are shit at communication and only text me every few days help yeah i cannot relate to you more and thank god because i want to come off as more relatable on this this time around um help was the way she ended that she said am i the problem yeah i think i relate to you i think i feel exactly the same way and I would say yes I am the problem which means you are probably also the problem so you think she should settle even though that's what you said no I think it comes along I have the highest this is another character default oh okay you're way more open and honest than the last time I saw you

I think I have very high standards for myself and how I act and how I behave and how I go through life and also just little things I think I have very high standards for myself and I think I also but I think I hold other people up to those which is not always healthy I think that's a bad thing to do sometimes what do you mean by that like what type of standards do you have I'm like so good to ask you questions I feel like I fed you that one that one though yeah but then I like you you fed it to me and you like sat up straight yeah yeah that was good back off of it right So what are some of your standards, Tucker? Okay.

I feel like I'm a very good listener. Outside of this podcast episode, like if I'm on a date or if I'm talking to anyone, I feel like I'm a very, I will be attentive. Like I will never, I will always do my best to never like go on my phone or do anything or respond to anything on my phone while someone is talking to me face. Totally. Do you genuinely care? Yes.

Like I do think I'd do that. And then it's really hard for. me if I'm talking to somebody else and you can tell that they just are not, they don't care, or their eyes are wandering or or

they like talk over your answer after asking you a question right? Totally. You do this? No, I know someone that does that though. Okay. Like just talking over like me asking you a question you answering it and then me talking over your

I'm therapist about that. I hate it. I can't stand it. Do you have any friends that do that? No, not friends, but I know plenty of people to do it. Got it. So she's the problem, this person. Yeah, but I'm also saying I am, we.

We are the problem. We are. We are the problem. We are the ones who make a brighter day. So let's start living. We are the world. Okay. We are the problem.

Nice. We are the ones who make a brighter day. So let's start living. Giving? Given. You could sew be in Tommy Lies. To, uh, okay. Is it, it's a show?

Yeah. You have no idea what Tommy Lies is. You've never heard of it. I don't. When's the last show you watched? I don't know. I don't know. I watch movies.

But I haven't because my remote has been broken for a fucking month. So what's the last movie you watched? Long, like. Long how was that? It was good. What's that about? It's a horror movie. Nicholas Cage is in it.

I love Nicholas Cage. Yeah, and it was good. A lot of people didn't like it. I liked it. And I thought it was really cool. Have you seen the substance yet? Mm-mm. When do you leave for tour?

I do want to see that. Do you want to see that together? Sure. Are you serious? Sure. Okay, when do you want to see it? I don't know. know if I'll have time.

Hi Puss. My roommate has been my roommate has been hooking up with her co-worker for about two months now. I have just recently learned that he is not only in a committed relationship, but he also has two kids and lives with his wife. He comes over to our apartment. Oh my God, I'm sick. After every shift, and he makes me very uncomfortable. I have voiced to my roommate that it's very wrong, but she seems to not care and is just doing it for fun. What should I do? Break up with him? Can you can you recap that really quick?

Oh, I totally can. This person's roommate is hooking up with their co-worker. Their coworker happens to be married happily with two children. And so, like, he's cheating on his wife, and he's coming over to their apartment to do it. Yep, so break up. But, like, the roommate's like, what do I do? If it was me, I'd mind my business. That's what, you know what, Tucker?

I would do the same. We're syncing up. I would do the same. My mom always taught me not to get involved in other people's relationships. I couldn't agree more. What's something your mother

has taught you? I don't know. She gave me very small wrists. She gave me very small wrist. Frail. Can I compare? Do you think you're just smaller?

It's smaller, I'm telling you. Damn. So what did she teach you, though, like in life? I don't know. She was a teacher. Sure. Oh, what?

We're getting somewhere. What subject did she teach? She was a special ed teacher for my whole life up until, like, this year. She, um, what's he retired? She retired. Big word for me. This is fun. Jalloyne girls.

Do you know what Jalloyne is? It's J. Collewan. Would love you to call us with role model for my best friend, Alia's birthday. Is that fine with you? Yes. I think it would make someone's day. Hello. Hi.

Hi. It's Jake Shane. And can you guess who I'm with? Tucker. Tucker, do you have something to say? Hey, bitch. Hi. Oh, my God.

How are you? Is it true? It's your birthday? Yes, my birthday is like a week. Can we sing to you? Thank you. Absolutely. Okay.

Are you ready? One. Two, three, and go. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Leah. Happy birthday to you. Thank you.

We love you. I'm so upset. I did meet you when you came here. She doesn't care about me. I know, but now we're chilling. Your friends are really fucking funny, by the way. I know they love you. Thanks, great.

Oh, it's you guys. Happy Jalloyne, bitch. Yes. You guys, I miss you. No, you guys, you left, and I was like, I fucking love those girls. Like, Jololene was so fucking clever. No, Jolene was fucking sick. Alia, what are you doing for your birthday?

It's on a genie? day. All right. Guys. You gotta go. Okay. Tucker is making me hang up with the phone. Okay. Well, tell Tucker we're going to his concert.

Yeah, so you should be very thankful. God bless you. Thank you. We had to go, ladies. I love you guys. I love you guys more than anything in the entire world. Happy fucking Jollyne. Happy fucking birthday.

Happy fucking Junday birthday. You're amazing. Love you. What was your problem? with them. It went on too. They won, they didn't care that I was here. Yeah.

And it went on too long. We're in the middle of a podcast, and you're catching up with them. Yeah, those are my girls, my Jololene girls. I don't like Jolome. You don't like Jolololwine? What do you like? Halloween.

I like Halloween. What were you? Did you dress up? Yeah, I was Chaparone. You missed it? No, no, no, I saw it. I saw it. I saw it.

With Benny. drummer. Someone tweeted, don't worry. It said, therapist, colon. Don't worry. Jake Shane, Chapel Rhone can't scare you. Jake Shane. And then the photo of me.

You look beautiful. Hucker. Thank you. I thought we harmonize well. Should we sing a song? Do you want to do another American Idol thing? Yeah, because I'm like way more comfortable with you now. Like I think I'll actually sing.

Okay, they loved it last time. I know. Okay. So Katie? Yeah, maybe. Should I be Katie again? You can be someone. You can be Lionel, you can be Katie.

I look more like Simon. You want to be Simon? Yeah, but I'm not going to do a British accent. Yeah. I'll be Katie. I'll be Katie. Okay. So you're walking in.

Hi, Katie. Oh, sorry. That's okay. I'm just so excited. Holy shit. Don't be nervous. Okay, I am. What's your name, sweetheart?

I'm Jake. Okay, hi, Jake. And where are you from? I am from New York. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Nice.

And it says here that you have never really been confident in your singing, but you wanted to take a step and take a leap and do something that scares you. Yeah. So is that today? Yeah. It scares you a little bit. I'm going to say I love you. I'm sorry by Gracie Abrams.

Oh my God. I love that song. Okay. Well, whenever you're ready. Lie on the horn to prove that it haunts me. I love you I'm sorry You were the best

But you were the worst I loved you first That was a dig it is what it is And I'm an amount A man What you think, Katie I Like my vibrato

I did I liked it as soon as I stepped in I feel like We've figured out your pitch Once I sort of came in And saved it But I think star power, I think you have the look.

And then I think we can just tweak those vocals and really get them perfect. Okay, cool. Mm-hmm. How'd you do you celebrate Jolwine? No. Okay. I don't. I fucking don't. Thank you, Katie. I went to a family

reunion and met my fourth cousin. He is from California and so fine. We ended up getting each other's snap. Stop, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. stop. This time I was listening. Repeat that. But you said you were listening. I was, but I want everyone to hear that. I went to a family reunion and met my fourth cousin. He is from California and so fine. We ended up getting each other's snap. That night, I drove him around and we sat in my car and talked and listened to music before our next family reunion. Anyway, we are only 0.002% related. Is it bad to date him? Yep.

Why? Are you, do you support this? There's 0.0002% related. What'd you say, fourth cousin? Sorry, I hiccpped. It's just like there's so many fish in the sea, why? There might be fish in the sea for you. I hook up with anyone where the word cousin is like in, it doesn't.

I mean, yeah, that's awkward. Maybe you're right. There's so many other options. Can I be honest, it sounds like they fucked. It does. And I was scared. as you were reading it of where it was going? I don't think she wants,

because she said is it bad to date him? You would only really ask that after. You know, like, like look through these before you select which ones? That's crazy. Nolan looks. That one was like, is incest cool or is it not chill? But it's 0.002% related.

Okay, guys, so Jake wants you guys to hook up with your cousins. No problem with it. So go ahead because Jake Shane told you to. Okay. Maybe don't date your cousin. Like, try to figure it out. But, like, if you grow desperate and, like, there's no one else, like, I really think they fucked already, though. God.

You don't agree? I mean, actually, you just said you down. Let's move on. That's crazy. Um, okay. You just co-signed incest. No, I didn't. You did.

Ooh. Look at that cousin. That Imagine dragons guy is. so fucking hot. He was working out next to me the other day. No way! You were working out. Yes, Jake.

But he was next to me. And my God, he is like a giant. That man is a giant. I mean, he would spin you around like a ceiling fan. How do you? Wait, he is a giant or he has a... No, he's a giant. I'm sure if he's that tall, obviously,

he's going to have like a third leg. But he's like built like a fucking ice leg. Icelandic giant Is he Icelandic? I don't know He looks like it Okay

He's built Like it I should say So fine See like if that was my cousin I'd fuck Right You guys heard it here first Like but if that was like my

I'm not agreeing with you No Like if that was like my point zero Point zero 002% cousin Yeah you'd fuck your cousin Say it Jake No

Is it that bad? To fuck your cousin. It's the fourth cousin. It doesn't matter. It has the word cousin in it. But you could be cousins with anyone. Everyone's related.

No. There's so many humans in the world. Don't fuck your cousin, Jake. Okay. I didn't say you should fuck your cousin. I'm just... Weird little motherfucker. Don't fuck your cousin.

Okay, well, I'm just saying it's 0.0002% related. I know what you're saying. It's like how did they even figure out they were fucking cousins to begin with? Like, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. fucking disgusting Are you having fun?

I am having fun I just found out my boyfriend of a year was texting random girls across the country for news I broke up with him but we still see each other regularly My friends think it's dumb But I like having him for affection Should I go no contact

Or keep him by my side for comfort And still do my own thing Keep him by your side for comfort And still do your own thing That's what a man would do That's what you would do Well get rid of these questions because now I'm not really, I'm not relating to them.

So that's about it. But you see what I'm saying? I don't know. What are you saying? How can I help? Give advice. We just talked about this. I can't stand it.

What's your favorite song you've ever written? See, that's a fun question. It is. I just think that when we start talking about music, that's when they tune out. I don't think they care. I think when I brought up your sex life, I think everyone was like, oh, this is going to be the best podcast episode. I won't.

But I just, because I'm thinking about what they want to see, right? I'm trying to, um, feel like they would want to hear about your sex life too. No, they want to hear about yours. What's the longest you've ever treaded water for? Minus seven minutes. I had to do it for the deep water test. I don't know.

I think I could go a long time, though. Really? I was just in Austin and we went to Barton Springs. And I was out there. What's Barton? in springs. It's this massive pool that is like made

with it like there's a river. It's like a river but they like carved a pool out of it and there's just it's like very European and there's just like people laying in the grass and then you jump in and it's like an actual river water. It's not a pool and I shredded water for what felt like

an hour. Who were you with? My band. Are those your best friends? Your band? They're my friends. They're my friends. my word they're my friends I take best friend very seriously Who's your best friend? My best friends have been my best friends since like kindergarten

How'd you guys meet? Kindergarten You want to know how I did it though? Yeah This is the type of bitch I am I in kindergarten I had I had a friend

This new kid who had just moved To our town Was walking by And I had like kind of befriended him And I made them shake him And I was like, we're going to be best friends. Aw. And they stroke hands.

So you're like the leader of your friend group. I think they wouldn't like to admit it, but I think I am. I think you are too. What's their, when's their birthdays? August. Leo. And December. December what?

December. And August what? December 27th. Okay, so Capricord. Cool. In August 17th. Leo. Virgo?

I don't even know my parents' birthday, but I know theirs. Do you want to know your parents' birthday? How do you wish them a happy birthday? I'm going to be honest with you. I forgot my dad's birthday this year. It was really horrible. Yeah. Well, my siblings will text me.

Yeah, I get that too. You have siblings? Mm-hmm. How old? I want to say 33 and 34 Oh, you're the youngest? I'm the baby Do they think it's really cool what you do?

Um Yeah, we're all very different So what do they do? Why is this like the old This is, why did we just actually turn into a podcast? I don't know Like this just now, what time are we at? You just killed the flow.

We just turned it into an actual serious podcast and I hate it to be honest Okay, so do you want to stop talking about it? Let's stop talking about it. I love my siblings. What do they do? I'm curious. My sister, my brother's,

a lobster man. What is that? He goes out on lobster boats and he catches lobsters. That's fucking cuffs. Yeah, it is. Con is fuck. That's kind. And then my sister does like physical therapy. I forget you're from Maine. Not Kansas. Not Kansas. Anymore. Do you like your Puts University water? It did. Yeah, that's good. It was a good water. Nice, Tucker. I don't know. I had a lot of fun. Oh, you're like, okay. All right.

I had a lot of fun. Do you think we, like, outdid ourselves from last time, or do you think last time was better? I'm very curious. What do you guys think? I think last time might have been a home run, but I don't know. Like, did you guys think this one was funny? Very funny.

Different energy, for sure. Different energy. What was, like, the energy? I kind of matched him a little more. Right. You guys are synced now. Yeah. This is more aggressive, I feel like.

Aggressive? On my, on my end. Oh, okay. I feel like I've spent a lot of time attacking you. Maybe, yeah. But maybe I need to do some. Soul searching? Yeah.

Self-analysing. How old are you again? I'm 27. Damn. How old are you? 25. Damn. We should go out sometime.

I ask. I know. I ask. I know. But also, you live so far away. It's crazy that you live over here Why did you choose over here? I like it

I can walk everywhere And by the beach It's like almost a highway right there though Okay, why don't you just docks me While we're out of it I'm trying not to I think that's pretty general I don't

Sorry Sorry Tucker like I don't It's hot in here right You don't get hot No we're good right now We're good. What are you doing for the rest of the day?

We start rehearsals today. What does that look like for you? Do you have dance numbers? Like, no. We have a bunch of dancers for this tour. Really? Mm-hmm. Shut the fuck up.

Me. I have three dancers behind me. Are you lying? Are you being serious? And then we have drums, bass and keys, guitar. Does he actually have dancers behind him? And I play guitar. What song are you most excited to perform?

You rolled your eyes at your own? body of work. That was even hard for you to do. I watched it in your eyes. That was like hard for you to ask. You're like, so what is your favorite song? Yeah, you're right. It's like you threw it away.

Okay. Okay, so let me, like, should we talk, like, you don't want to help the pussies with their problems. I think I did my part. It's just as soon as we got to cousin fucking, I feel like that was more your realm we found out. Do you read? No.

I don't either. Do you ever, like, have aspirations to act? Um, Um, yes. Me too. Really? Yeah, I was just in my first commercial. Really?

For what? Walmart. For Walmart? Yep, really? Walmart Black Friday, deals of desire. Shut up. Swear to God. Are you allowed to say that?

Yeah, it's out. Do you think I'd be a good actor? I think you'd be amazing. Why? I don't know. I actually have no evidence to back that, uh, because it was like a second ago. Right.

When you asked me what my favorite song is to perform, that was really, bad acting on your part because you tried to do this like your interested thing. So is that why you don't want to talk about it? Because you talk about it on other shows. Your art, your music. In the right environment. Like this, I know that they don't really care about like an artist's thing. Well, who are you to say that?

I just, I just know. I just know. So what do you think they want to hear from you? What do you think that they would be interested in hearing from you? I don't know. I think they just like to hear you. you talk. Oh my God,

thank you so much. And I don't think they want to hear you be like, what was it like writing that song? Like, was that like mentally fucked for you? It's like, no, they don't care about that. They would rather you,

I don't know, the other things you ask when it comes out of your mouth naturally rather than being like, like, what's your favorite song to perform? Okay, Tucker. So what did we learn today? Um,

I learned that you have low-key, a hard time being vulnerable. Mm-hmm. That's true. That's true. I make a joke out of everything. Yeah, you do. Everything's a bit to you. That's true. And I was just with my tour manager actually does the same exact thing.

Everything's a bit to him. Yeah. Why do you think that is? I don't know. I couldn't figure out if it was like you genuinely don't care and you have no qualms or anxieties. Or like you use it as a method to repress those anxieties. Probably that. Okay.

If I were to spend time thinking about it. Thinking about it, probably that. Well, I think you're doing it. I think it works. I think you're doing great. It's great. And you should try it. What?

Repression? Yeah, you should try it. Thanks. That is my advice for you today. Okay. Well, I had a great time with you. I had a great time too. Really?

Yes. Okay. And I would still love to go out at some point if you just came a little bit. Do you want to see the substance? Oh, you don't have time. The other way. Yeah, I hate seeing movies in L.A. I can't do it.

Wait, why? Why? Because parking garages and like they're all in malls. I don't drive. Right. It ends up being like $100. Of course. Tucker, thank you so much for coming back to the therapist office.

We love you so much here. You're welcome anytime. I love you. I love you too. That was hard for you to say. No, I love you. Okay, okay. I do love you.

I love you. Your octopuses are the reason I do it. You guys are the reason I'm here and I'm so thankful for you every day. come see me on tour you come see me on tour he's joking guys but seriously love you pussies

he's got you on the hood he's sure it's there