Therapuss with Jake Shane - Session 82: Benny Blanco

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

I’m so out of the loop it’s crazy… Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode! July 11th-13th: Go to “COZYEARTH.COM” and use code “JAKE” for 45% OFF your purchase! Tickets on sale now for LIVE WITH JAKE SHANE at passthatpuss.com! Follow Benny and stream “I Said I Love You First… And You Said It Back” OUT NOW!  https://benny-blanco.com/ Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

50-50 if my zipper's up or down anymore. Take my pants off at home. They come off easy. I'm like, I thought it was four hours I was walking around. Netflix is a joke presents. Nate Bar Gatsy, Big Dumb Eyes World Tour, a special live taping at Into a Dome. I think it's because I'm peeing so much longer.

I watch young people come and go. I'm like, tell my family I'm okay. Nate Bargatsy, May 9th and 10. Live at Into A Dome. Get tickets at Netflix is a jokefest.com. Hi Pussies. Welcome back to Therapus. Tonight we have on someone who, quite frankly, doesn't need much of an introduction. Benny Blanco. He is, he has made some of your favorite songs you've ever heard, including mine. He honestly is a real generational talent when it comes to producing music. And I'm really lucky that I got to talk to him. He's also hysterical and was a great, great time to hang out with. and I'm really excited for you guys to hear the episode and get to know one more.

If you don't know them already, which I'm honestly sure you do. This is my last week of tour right now. If I'm coming to a city near you, go to pass that puss.com, click live with Jake Shane. And just a bit of tell me what's wrong, go to pass that puss.com and click tell me what's wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy.

Enjoy the episode. I love you, pussies. Are you excited? I'm excited. I'm excited because I know, like, so, I know, like, so many little things that I have no idea about So it's going to be very fun. What do you know about so far?

We're going to, you'll see. Okay. Are you ready? Are you nervous? Honest to God. I feel like you're reading my mind because I was really nervous. Are we on? Is this real?

Yeah. Is it live? Okay. We're live. I guess. I'm kind of nervous. Yeah. Is that why you're going to?

Yeah, I think so. I'm always, I'm like, I'm squeezing. Maybe I'll squeeze my Pasandra. Okay. Who's Pasandra? Her. Hi. Hi.

Okay, we're on. Okay, we're on. You said you had questions from me. So I'm not mad about that. Who are you? Oh, my name is Jake. Okay. I just know, here's what I know.

I know that you're hilarious. I know that, like, I fell in love with just seeing you. Just seeing your mouth move and you walk and you talk is like the cutest thing in the world. Like, you're like, you might be the cutest person in the world. Really? Yeah, yeah, you're very cute. Thank you. You're very cute.

Thank you. You're even cuter in person. No, really? Yeah. Somebody told me I was a catfish the other day. No, no, no, no. That person's a piece of shit. Oh, thank you.

Okay. Do we like, I like how, it's like a thick, Mike. It's like, yeah, yeah, it's like, who. Okay. So, I know that, and I know that there's something about, like, I was like, I was asking my friend. I was like, hey, how did this guy get big? And they're like, oh, this thing about like, pussies, like he, like, something about an octopus. Octopus.

Okay. So I don't know. I used to review. Well, I still do, but I would review grilled octopus. What? Yes. You would just review grilled octopus? Yes, and I would eat it.

So, like, okay, like, if you were sitting across from me at dinner, like, I would go, hi, Pussies, and you would go, hi, Jake, and then we'd go tense up, and I would eat the octopus. And then I'd review it out of eight because they have eight tentacles. Do you love octopus? Yeah, I do, but, I mean, I definitely eat it a lot less than I used to. How did you decide that you wanted to review octopus? Like, I was really bored and high one day, and it just kind of came to me. What year was this?

20, 22, one, 2021. You were COVID. You got famous in COVID. It was, well, no. That's cute. It was 2020. It like all, like, it all took off 2022, 2020, 23. Okay.

But you were still, you're a COVID baby. I am a COVID baby. Okay. So, so you did that. And then where did that evolve to? I just need like the two minute version before I, before we get wet. Okay, okay. So I started, like, I started posting on TikTok,

and I sometimes would post like 17 times a day. Okay. And kind of creepy. No, it was weird. Yeah. Well, you were eating puss 17 times a day. Well, no, like I would have my friend Brett drive me to get octopus all throughout the city of Los Angeles. Okay.

Who has the best, first of all? Angelini. Oh, I love their octopus. It's insane. Over the arugula? Yes, with the lemon. Okay, yeah, yeah, of course. Like, don't play with Angelini.

Of course. Yeah, it's amazing. Do you cook octopus over? I love cooking octopus. Do you really? Yeah, I want to cook it for you and you've rated. Will you really? Of course.

How long have you cooked for? Wow, will you be my best friend? Yes, Benny. Stop. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So go back. Okay. So you're posing 17 times a day like a psycho.

Yes. And then I started doing these like skits. Like they were like improv-y skits. And like that really just took me off. People liked it? People loved them for like, and it was like, and it was like, for like two months. They loved it.

Well, I think I had. to like dial down on them a little bit so I wouldn't like overplay the bit. Okay. But like that's what brought me essentially here. Okay. And then when did you start a podcast? A year ago. Okay.

A little over a year ago. And what were you doing? Were you always interviewing people like me? Like what were you doing? I don't even know what I am. Were you always like interviewing people? Like yeah. Like well it started with my best friends.

And then I had Tate McCray on and then I had Renee Rapp on. And that kind of like opened up the floodgates for other people to come on. Okay. Okay. So you were just like doing it with your friends at first. Okay, cool. And then it just became therapist. Okay, and where are you from? New York. Wait, it's called therapist?

Benny. I don't know anything. I know nothing. I live under a full rock. Understood, but what did you think you were coming to today? I just saw you were great. And then I think for a while a few people were trying to put us together. Uh-huh. And they like wanted us to do stuff and blah, blah, blah. And then we got thrown on a text together.

Yes, yes. And then I was super gagged and excited. I'm excited. I'm still excited. Me too. And then, yeah, it just happened. And I was like, I just go with my gut. I always go with my gut.

And I was like, this guy seems like so funny and cute. And I want to see what he's about. So therapist is amazing. And that says Puss University. Yes. So Puss University started way before everything took off on TikTok. And I had merch that said Puss University. Who are you selling the merch to, though?

You weren't even on TikTok. I'm telling you. Like, I sold it. to people around my college. Okay. What college did you go to? USC. Okay.

Where are you from? New York. Oh, you're from New York? I thought you were from L.A. No, where are you from? Virginia. But both my parents are from New York. Where in New York?

Brooklyn, Queens. My mom's from Brooklyn. Where are you from? Washington Heights. Okay, you're from Washington. Yeah. And then, and then how'd you get to L.A.? Well, I was born in L.A.

Is this so boring? Are we like, has anyone ever asked you this stuff on there? I don't. Have they, Nolan? Not this in depth. Okay, okay. We'll get over it real quick. No, I'm like happy to, I love talking about myself.

Yeah, duh. Yeah, like, you know. But I was going to tell you that when I came back to L.A. for USC, the first song that came on the radio was East Side. And that became my freshman year song. Really? Yes, because it reminded me of the East Coast. How old are you? Guess.

27. Cool. So, I'm 25. Oh. How old are you? 37. Really? Yeah, I'm old.

is mold. You? Okay. Do you want me to tell you, you want me to show you how old I am? Yeah. Okay. In 2008, how old were you?

Eight. Okay. I had like number one songs on the radio when you were eight years old. Like, what songs? Like, okay, you want me to give you, you want me to give you your, your summer of 2008, your summer of 2009, your summer of 2010? Go. Okay.

Katie Perry, I kissed a girl. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Katie Perry, hot and cold. Katie Perry, California girls. Katie Perry, Teenage Dream. Kesha TikTok. Kesha, your love is my drug. Kesha, we are who we are.

Kesha Blow. Wait, I'm thinking of those years. Britney Spears Circus. You did circus. I love circus. Okay, wait. We're just going through those few years. Okay, okay.

We have, we have, what else do we have in that era? We have like all the maroon five stuff. Then we have, oh, then we have like Rihanna, diamonds, all that stuff. That was a little late. That was 2001. Did you do moves like Jagger? I did. Okay, so I have really bad OCD, and one time I heard that song, and I had really bad luck for the rest of the day.

I haven't listened to it since. Yeah, I did that to you. You know, I have insane OCD. What's your OCD? Oh my God, it's insane. Mine's really bad, too. Okay, tell me some of your stuff, and I'll tell you some of your stuff, Mine are insane.

I also have ticks, too, do you? A little, yeah. I used to, I used to cluck. Okay, what's cluck? Like, I would count to two, and when I would count to two, like, I would have to, like, cluck my mouth. Show me? I can't.

You'll start doing it again? Yeah. Okay, don't do it, don't do it. Should I? You can. Let me see. Okay, so, like, this is, like, exposure therapy. Yeah, yeah, I like.

Oh, that one's not bad. I thought you were going to be like, oh, no, like, I would do it again. Again and again. And then I would look in the mirror 10 times before going to bed. I would have to smile. That's just because you're vain though.

That's not because you're listening. No, I know, but I would have to go like and I would have to smile. I would have to end it on a smile. Of course. Of course. I used to not be able to add songs to a playlist. I would have to add, remove, add remove, add remove,

add remove four times. Oh, oh, after four you could do it. Yeah. Okay, what else? Mm. I used to pray every time I cursed. I'm Jewish, so that was really random. Okay, I used to pray.

What type of prayer? I would go, like, every time I cursed. What would you say? Like, I would mumble. Like, I would speak in tongue. Okay, okay. And then, like, I...

I let just know Hebrew or anything. It was Christian. Like, I would literally go Christian. That's fire. I love that. So, you want to know some of mine? Yeah. Okay, okay.

So, and I still have some of them. Uh-huh. So, okay. First, we'll go to, like, my old ones that were insane. Okay. Like, when I was a kid, I used to have this thing, kind of like yours, where I had to go like this. I had to go... Wait, I used to do that.

Yeah. I had to do it in class, and if I didn't do it, my parents were going to die. Oh, okay. And I would be like, and I would go like this. I'd be like, fuck, okay, try to last 10 seconds. I'm like 10. No, I can't. And I'm like, and then like, and then I would have this thing where for some reason, I would have to go.

And we use it for Dave, actually. For some reason, I had this thing where I would always have to go like all the time. I have no idea why. I don't do that one anymore. but I still do a thing and you'll know, I do like two or three things that I still can't get rid of. Uh-huh. Like, there's like four where I go like, like a million times a day.

Like I'm just going like this. Like I'm like doing it. Like if you notice in this and I go doing a million times. Uh-huh. Then I have one where I go, where I go, I'm like, I can't even do it. You'll hear it. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I can't.

It's like a little like fake cough and I have no idea. It's involuntary. I do it like 400. times a day, maybe more. Do people get annoyed? People used to get... They don't notice... People don't notice them until I tell them.

Most of these, like... Oh, okay. Everyone noticed my clucking. Yeah. Oh, really? Everyone was like, stop fucking clucking. Maybe people do, and now I'm just like... No, they would tell you.

I have like a better job now, so like people don't care. And then I... I used to have one where... Oh, I still have this one. I can't even do it. It's so hard for me to do. But like, I do this thing. thing when I walk where I'm like and like my arm like I have to like stretch it out I don't even I don't

know how to do it I don't know how to do it it's insane is it still superstitious like do you still have to do it because like bad things will happen not those those are involuntary oh wow okay okay involuntary and if I notice them I can like stop it for a second but they're kind of like involuntary and like the nose stuff like this like you'll see me do it like a million times Literally when we're shooting shows or like videos and stuff That's the hardest thing for me Above the acting and everything

Is holding it back long enough for the takes And then you have to go do it Yeah and then I do it immediately Sometimes I do it in takes And they have to like see And they have to They have to take it at Like they have to like do another take

They're like like Dave's like Ben He's like Ben you're like You gotta stop touching your face No but that's what makes you you Yeah and I can do it it like for a little like when I go up and I like do like if I do like I can't stop if I'm in like a podcast because it would be like insane like I just have to do it like I'm going to do it right now like you'll see I'm going to do it so much and I get it I used to touch things evenly like I

oh my God my I have to like like I'm better now like I had to be like living with like girlfriends as I got older like the old me would have stood up while we're talking, just not say it, and turn your Celsius towards me. Like, that's what I would have done. Like, yeah, and now it's like off and it's not centered. Like in the thing. And that's what I would have done. But now I don't have that anymore.

Right. Are you on meds? No. I just like. You just got rid of it. I got rid of, like, all the things that are really annoying to another person. Like, I got rid of, like, all of those things because I was like, I can't live like this. Right.

Like, and I still do little things like in my, if you go into my, like, shower, like, everything is facing forward and stuff. Totally. I think that's insane. Regardless of OCD, I think that's insane. When you go to like a person's thing and like the cap is like off, things are like this and the show.

No, I agree. That's crazy, right? I agree. That's not even OCD. You're like a serial killer. No, I agree. Are yours like that? Yeah, you're fucking insane.

That's, I. What's your name again? Manny? Any one, are you dating anyone now? No. Manny's not dating anyone and I think that's the reason why. I'm almost positive. That might be the reason.

You dating someone? No. Do you keep them straight? Very, very straight. Oh, okay. I don't know. Maybe you're just, maybe you're just effective.

No. Do you keep your straight? Like, no. Are you dating anyone? Like, I'm seeing multiple people. Oh, you're like, cool. No, I'm just like having my summer. Okay, okay, you're seeing multiple people.

And then when do you decide, when do you like hone in on someone? Well, there's one that actually likes me and then there's one that literally wants nothing to do with me. Oh, most of them hate you and you like the ones kind of that hate you more. Yeah, of course, duh. I can't control it.

No, it's because you're so young. Okay. It is. Like, you start to figure out your shit. Like, later in life, you really figure out your shit. Like, it took me so long to really figure out my shit. How, like, when did you feel like you figured out your shit? When I was, like, 34.

What? You're, like, 34 is when I really- Was there, like an event that caused you to, like... I literally was sitting in my house, and I was like, I can't be, like, one of these... celebrities, it's like 40 or 50 and like at the club. Like, that's crazy. I was literally thinking that.

I was like, I can't be one of the. And we all know, like, in your head, they just popped into your head. Like, you know three of them off the top of here. So we one, two, three and bleep it. Yeah. One, two, three. Okay. Okay.

I can do three more, but I'm not even going to do it. Should we one more? I don't know if we're going to do it, so I don't want to fuck it up. Do you think we will? I think we will. Is it a musician? No. Oh, who is your, I think I know who your second one is.

One, two, three. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's insane. I know it. I don't want to go for a third. I don't want to go for three. I'm happy with two.

Wow. Are we like siblings? We're like simpatico. That was crazy. I knew we would get it. I knew. Once you said musician, I was like, ooh. And then you said, wait, I think I know.

And I was like, I know, you know. And there's two musicians I think you're thinking of, but we're not even going to do it. I don't think I'm thinking of that. Okay. I don't want to do it then. Okay. I don't want to do it. Please.

Okay. That's insane. Yeah, that's so cool. So I was like, I was like, it was like a mixture of that. And it was, I always wanted to find, like, my person. I always wanted to find my person. I've always been like a relationship guy. And like, obviously when I'm single, I've had like my summer, you know, even if it's winter.

And I was sitting there and I was like, I want like my other half. Like I want to find like an equal in someone who like, fuck, He inspires the shit out of me. Right. And I remember, I like talk to my therapist and I was like, what do I do? And he was like, you got to make a list. He's like, you have to make a list. A list.

Yeah. The first thing he said is he said, you have to cut off every other person in your life. There is no, like, dating around. You're cutting everyone off. What? That you know is bad for you. But how do you know if they're bad for you? You know.

Okay. You know what's bad for you and you know what's right for you. And you're thinking about what's bad for you, but you don't want to cut it off. Yeah. Because you're 26. 25. I'm seeing him tonight. Yeah, you're 25.

It doesn't matter. Nothing matters for the next 10 years. Like, nothing you do matters at all. You can do anything you want. What do you mean? Are you serious? That's the best news I've ever heard of life. Yeah, because it's like, nothing matters until you're like, nobody cares about what

you're doing in your life until you're like 30. When you're 30, they're like, hey, what are you doing? Like what? But when you're like 28 and you're like, yeah, you're like, I just want to like a bander and I was like that. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, you're 28, cool. Oh, okay. And then you're 29 and they're like, hey, you should like start thinking about it.

And then you're 30 and they're like, whoa. Like, honestly, 20th, 30th birthday, your life just changes. And everyone's like, you're disgusting. Like, yeah, basically. Are you serious? I had someone sit here and tell me that the 30s are the best years if you're like. No, they are the best years. But like, you have to like pull your life together.

But you have so much longer. I thought you were 27. You're 25. I can't believe you thought I was 27. I don't know. You're just very mature. Oh, thank you. Gotcha.

Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. So then I made a list and I had all these things on my list. And they're the most simple, dumb things, but they're just true. Like I needed someone, for me, it was like age appropriate. Okay? And I was like 30 and above, no one lower.

Got it. Like, no one low. Like even if they're like a mature 28 year old, no. Has to be 30 and above. And that was like my hard thing. And then I wanted someone who was kind. I know it's so crazy because it's so hard to find. Like you're like thinking about.

the bad one. They're not even kind. The bad one's not even kind to you. Right. They're like, they like give you one crumb of something nice. And you're like, really?

Yeah. Like, okay. Kind. Caring. Caring. Like it's like, you're just like barely caring.

He's like, I don't think mine knows my last name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're just like, never opening up a door for you or like being like, no.

I wanted someone, I wanted someone who like was interested in something, like had their own thing. I don't care if they like, if they like fucking, you know, made carpets. Like, I want them to be like,

this is all I do. I make a carpet every day. Then I care about it and I make zero dollars. I don't care what it is. I just wanted them to be interested and passionate about something in their life. Like working towards a goal. Right. You know,

not just like being like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and I wanted someone, I wanted someone who woke up, like, I wake up and I'm happy.

Like I wake up happy. Fuck. I know. Do you wake up sad? I wake up angry. Tell me. Well, today I woke up and I was so excited that you were coming and I had a workout planned. And so I woke up really happy today.

Okay. But like most of the time, in college, I used to wake up going like this every morning. Really? Every single morning. Why? I don't know. I was like, I can't believe I have to live another day. No.

I know. But you're so cute. I know. Yeah, why? Why? Were you sad? No, I was just like, oh. I like loved.

Or we're just like being dramatic. It was like, oh my God, I can't believe I have to like go through the motions of today. Yeah, you're like, you're like too big for life. No, it was, it was, it was just like, I know I'm going to be anxious and like I just can't be bothered. And how do you feel now? Are you like, not now, but like in life now? Are you like falling into it a little more? A little, I have periods where I'm like, I'm so with it.

I'm so in it. And then I have periods where I'm like, what the fuck do I do? Yeah, but everyone has that. Yeah. Just so you're aware that never goes away. Okay, cool. Like I wake up, I wake up and I'm like happy in the day. But like sometimes I'm just like, what am I doing?

Like, why am I? You, I feel like you have such a clear cut. No, I know I have like a sense of self. But like every single person, like anybody is lying if they're not saying that. Like of course it sometimes you're just like, like I'll tell you this. Every musician has this same thing where I'll have the biggest song in the world, like the actual biggest song in the world. And I'm like, oh, I'm never going to be able to do this again. Like, this is never going to happen again.

Right. Like, it's never, it all never, like, get another, like, song that people care about again. And it's always, like, when they're, like, celebrating how good you're doing. Right. Or, like, you win a Grammy, and they're like, oh, that's never happening again.

Right. Yeah. It's just like... It's like... Dune. Yeah. Dune. June.

Well, it's Dune. It's Dune. I've actually never seen that movie. Neither have I. Okay. Do you want to watch together? Is it good? I've heard.

It is good? The second one's good. Okay. I haven't seen. Like, I'm like, I'm such a bad pop culture person. It's crazy because you're very involved in pop culture. I also never look at any interview I do. And I never look at any, like, photos I do or anything.

Like, so, like, after we do this, if there, I don't even know if there's an approval process. But if there is, my manager looks at it. And then I say, hey, did I say anything stupid? And he might be like, yeah, maybe this thing. What do you think? And then I'll be like, oh, okay, I never look at it. at it. The only time I'll ever see it is if my mom sends me a clip because my mother is TMZ. So my mother's full TMZ. She's like, oh my God, I didn't know you, you like,

broke up with Selena and like murdered 16 people. And I'm like, what? She's like, that's what it said today on TV. And I'm like, what? Like, yeah, like, she's, she's a Jewish mom. My mother is full-blown. And she says, like, the, like, whatever is the thing that, like, could make you feel like the worst at the time and then she's like what honey like and i'm like like like she actually she's like she's like she literally called me and she's like she's like you know every time i helping people there's another thing about you and i don't know if it's true i don't know if it's false i don't talk to me yeah i talk to my mom so much really and my mom yeah i talk to my mom so much and she'll be like we never talk and i'm like mom i spoke to you 15 minutes ago right like if i went

If I, like, didn't speak to my mother for, like, a day and a half, there would be, like, actual, like, search parties. There would be, like, like, SWAT would be, like, breaking through the ceiling right now and just, like, grabbing me and taking me away. And, like, I talk to, like, some of my friends. And I'll be like, oh, you talk to your mom a lot? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we just talk. And I'm like, oh, how often?

They're like, oh, I talked to her, like, a month ago. I'm like, a month. A month. Like, how often do you talk to your mom? Like, once every few days. What about your dad? Every day? Every day.

Well, my dad text me every single. single day. Text me every single night. Goodnight. Love you. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Or he'll text me, you good. I don't talk. You could? Yeah. Like, can you give me my phone? I need to redo some. I text with my dad, because sometimes I just don't respond.

Yeah, my dad's, my dad's, my, I don't, we don't text a lot. Really? No, no, no. Maybe once. Once every few months or something. Once, oh, wow. Yeah.

So, like, these are like some examples of text with my dad. Mom could send me 300 texts in a row without me answering. And then the second I answer, There's no like, there's no like, where have you been? Like she just keeps going. My mom sends like articles and this. Today's show is great. Love you.

You good? You okay. How come you're not answering? Because I was busy. I called him. Are you really busy? I just like some really bad at my phone. You're good at your phone.

I'm so bad at my phone. Oh, okay. Never mind. Just maybe with me. No, it just happened. What are you talking about? I just looked at the thing I felt bad because I never answered you. Oh, okay.

Well, that was the first text and I thought you thought it was a fake number. I actually haven't saved your number. Let me do it right now. Okay. I saved your number really quick. I'm going to do it right now. Watch where. This one's your.

Uh-huh. Okay. I'm back. Have you ever been in a relationship? Never. Really? Never. And I talk about it at least once an episode.

Why haven't you been in one? You know, I was actually speaking about this last night. I have never been on more than three dates with someone. When did you know you were a gay? I was actually also thinking about that today when I was 10. But when were you like, see, because like where we grew up, like my friends who were gay, like said they would like, they were like trying to be straight and they were like watch porn. But then they would be like, wait, the part with like the dude is so tight.

And they wouldn't watch, they wouldn't watch gay porn because they were like, that's like too crazy. Yeah, I graduated to gay porn. Oh yeah. Who's your gay awakening? I think it was James from Big Time Rush. I don't know who they are. You didn't know who big time rush? No, I don't.

But I don't think that's crazy. I've never even heard the name Big Time Rush. Really? No, have you? Yeah. Oh, it was good. Oh, okay. But I didn't know who the Jonas Brothers were until Sucker.

Benny. Are you kidding? Like, I'd heard the name. I'd never heard a Jonas Brothers song until Sucker. You didn't hear SOS? I'd never heard that song in my life. Year 3,000? Don't know that song.

Nothing. I'm older. But you're in music. Yeah, but I'm older than you. Like those, that wasn't big, like I had never seen Selena show until we started dating. And then we were. Wizards or only murders? Wizards.

Got it. I had never seen Wizards. I knew she was like a kid star, but I had never seen any of it. And we were going to, she was like going to be on the reboot of it. And I was like, hey, can I see your show before we go to the reboot? So like, I know what it is. And she was like, what? And she was like, I guess.

And then like, we watched the first episode. And I was like, this is so cute. And then she was like, wait, let me show you. just like one more good scene. It really is the best show ever. And she showed me a few good scenes and I was like, okay, I get it. No, it's also the theme song is iconic. Yeah, of course.

Well, you wouldn't. No, no, I know the theme song because that inspired bad guy by Billy Eilish. Did it really? Do do, do, do, do, do. Yeah. Have you ever worked with Billy Elish? I have. I worked with her when she was like, legit, like 14 years old or something.

Did the song ever see the light of day? No, no, no. She, I, we have the same lawyer, or we did have the same lawyer or whatever. And he was like, there's this kid, Phineas, who's really good, and he works with his little sister. And, you know, we rep them, and we think like they could be something. And then they had just signed, they just signed to Interscope after that. and then I was like, oh, I really like this song. And they had never played a concert or anything.

And they were like, oh, come over. And I invited them over to work at my house before like anything. And then literally like a week or so later, we went to their first concert ever at, I think it was at the Echo or something. And there was like a hundred kids there and like half of them were from the label. and then I went to her second I think her second show was at the El Ray and I went to that I went to like her first like

eight shows and yeah and just saw it all happen from the beginning and they do they don't need my help at all they do like everything their own and it's like fucking incredible and they always do everything just the two of them right and

and it was fun to just work and see how they work and obviously me and Phineas have made like a million songs for other people and stuff. And Phineas is incredible. Has he been on the pot? Yes. Oh, he's so sweet. Yes, he has been on the pod.

He's the best. He's so funny. He's so funny. Has Billy been on? No, I wish. Billy, what are you doing? Probably touring. Get on Therapus.

I know the name now. I know! I have so many guys for you. Like, wait, do you really? So many. It's insane. Okay. We can, we'll sidebar this after.

But I'm like not gonna like let go of this. No, no, no. I have like so many great guys. Are you like good in a relationship? You've never even been in a relationship. I've never been. I don't know. I don't even know.

Are you just like a piece of shit? Probably. Really? I mean like, look, I really need to work on being less selfish. I was just gonna say, are you selfish? Like you wouldn't believe. Really? Payton has, my best friend, my roommate, Peyton has told me the same thing over and over again for two weeks.

I literally acted like yesterday. It was the first time I ever heard it. Really? I didn't know. What are your positive attributes? I would say that I'm clever. I would say that I am passionate. Okay.

I think you're incredibly generous. Oh my God. I've never heard that before. I was literally just going to say that. And that's two for two. I guess I'm generous. Jish. Generigious.

Okay, so you're generous and you're close. Clever. Okay, what are you looking for? Someone. Just like anyone with a heartbeat. Kind of. And like, you know, I like them to have like a steady job. Like a heartbeat and a throbbing wiener. Yeah.

Okay. A top. Like someone who will. Are you verse? No, I'm 5'3, so. Okay. Perfect. Yeah.

Okay. So, we can, we can work on. Is he a top? You have to be versed though now. What? Is he versed that guy that you showed me? Yeah. Fuck.

Everyone isn't, it's 2000. What year is it? 25. You know, I never know the year ever. I'm always like one or two wrong. It's always like, is it 24 or is it 26? Have you ever gotten that wrong, like, publicly? I mean, no, I just get it wrong, like, once a year when you have to, like, write it on, like, a physical or something.

Did you go to college? No. Do you go to high school? Yeah, like, yeah. Do you graduate high school? Yes. Okay, and then you just moved out to L.A. No, I lived in New York for years.

Uh-huh. Where? all over everywhere like where Brooklyn Heights bedstye Williamsburg Chelsea West Village everywhere what was like the first person you worked with that was like successful like the first like person like that would be successful like in your in your world no anything well like I know I know I know a lot about music we are old rappers but like the first like big pop thing that I ever worked on was Britney Spears what do you know sometimes I am in a restaurant and I'm like, oh my God, this song's so good.

And I shazam it. And then it's my own song. How do you not know? Because I'm old and I've done, I can't remember anything. And I've done like hundreds of songs that have come out. That's crazy. Like I've done some, I've been making songs for like 16 years. Yeah, I guess you're right.

And I'm old. Do you remember every single podcast, every word you said on it? Well, not every word, but like, I'm, I guess you have a point. Yeah, it's like, it's like if you're, let's say you're on your like 16th season of your podcast. Right. Someone's like, did you interview like Chelsea Handler? And you're like, I think so.

Oh, I guess you're right. You know what I'm saying? Like, you won't, how many seasons is this? Two, it's my second season. Is your second season? Wow. And everyone's talking about the pod. Really?

Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. You know I make music. You do? Mm-hmm. I have an album. Is it good or no?

It's called Puss and Poems. Okay. Is it terrible? No, it's really good. You know Alexander 23? Yeah. He produced it. Should we do a song for your album?

Benny, don't play with me. Would it be crazy? Do you sing on it? Yeah. Is it good? It's fairly awesome. What do you guys think? Good?

Should I play it? No, hold on, hold on. So I'm going to read you the track list. I'm going to read you the tracklist and you can tell me which one you want to hear, okay? Okay. Okay. So it's called Puss and Poems, the album. Okay.

Denim on denim. Pharmacist. The Hangover, song, postmates, JetBlue, Therap Plus theme song. Oh, it's a tie between three. Denim on Denham, Postmates, and Therapist Theme Song. Okay, so Therapist Theme Song is the one I had, like, my least fingers in, because, like, that was Alexander's. Okay, let's not do that.

So it was, what were the Denim on denim or? Or postmates. Okay, so I'm going to give you the rundown. Denim on denim is like a country pop vibe about a bad date I went on. Play it. Okay. Is this your most successful, so? song.

But it's Postmates is a ballad. Postmates is a ballad. Okay. I want to hear denim on denim. Postmates is really good. Okay, do you want to hear Postmates now? Yeah, play me Postmates.

Oh, driver, what to do. My stomach is screaming. This poem is for you. To the one Postmate. Much longer. You want to fast forward to it?

Okay. right over come over driver Oh you're riding I stole my postmates I like that one It's good right I know

So do you hate my album or Oh no I actually really think it's very cute Okay Well you know I do have a Christmas song as well Even though I'm Jewish You do? It's called Santa Can You Pay for me

I forgot my card I haven't released it yet though I'm finishing it up next week in the studio With who? Alexander Oh he does exclusive all your music Well I just yeah Would I be able to get it? Yeah like do you want to get involved?

I'd like to get involved Do you actually want to? I'm saying it Okay you're around next week No But I'm around Just automatically around next week Okay so do you actually want to make a song?

Yeah Okay What would you want to write about? OCD Oh I would love that Maybe. Okay. You falling in love.

Okay. You being selfish? Okay. Are you just gonna say okay? No, I agree. You agree. But it has to be like a niche situation to make it fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course. We'll figure it out. Well, I mean, you're the master. I trust you. No, you're the master. Oh, okay. I guess. Is this crazy?

Okay, wait. So how many episodes have you done completely? Like, totally. Like, without that. aren't out completely yet. No, no, no. Oh, are you like way ahead? How many ahead?

Nine. That's it? Yeah. Two and a half months. What was like the closest where you were like, did you get someone like last minute or something? That's never, oh, the closest turnaround we've ever had is we did Tate, the first Tate McCray episode, she was my first guest ever. We did it on a Sunday and released it on the Wednesday. That's the closest turnaround we've ever had.

And did you never, did you never even, like, how many did you start with? Like, did you have like a bunch in the can when you started or no? No, like we would just do it and night. Do you do them every week? Well, like the other week I recorded five. No, like how, like, does one come out every week? Yeah, every Wednesday, 7 p.m. Pacific. How many, do, how long are you going to do it for forever?

I don't know. I want to turn it into a late night talk show. That's really cool. Do you think that's cool? Yeah. Yeah, what do you want to do? Like, what are the things? What do you want to do?

Okay. Give me your top things you want to do in life. I want to be an actor. Okay. Have you acted in things? Yeah, so I'm in a few scenes in the newest season of Hacks. Okay. You are?

Was that, like, were you so stoked? Yeah, it was my favorite show. Okay, okay. So I was super excited about that. I'm actually finding out about a role today that I'm probably not going to get. But, you know, you live and you learn. But, yeah, I want to be an actor. I want to be a late night host.

And- So, like, when you were a kid, were you like, I just want to be famous. Yeah, well, yes. Really? Like, I knew I would watch a bunch of reality television, and I was like, I need that. Like, I need the paparazzi. Like, I need that.

No. Yes. I was like 10. I was like, that's amazing. I want that. It's the worst. I wouldn't know yet. So hopefully I can also be like,

it's the worst. But like, I'm not there yet. I hate that stuff. Like, that's like, yeah. No, I know, but you've been at it for so long. Yeah. That's crazy. I know.

Because when we grew up, there wasn't, There was, like, there was, there wasn't social media when I grew up. Right. Like, when I grew up, there was no social media. Myspace. Uh, MySpace. Uh, MySpace. That's how I got big. Really?

Yeah, but MySpace didn't get big until I was like 13-ish, 14. 14. Like, YouTube came out when I was a senior in high school. Like, when, when you're friends, like, no one had cell phones. No one? Like, literally, when I was a kid. you would, you'd be like, it'd be like at school, you'd be like, yo, meet me at the park and we're gonna play basketball at like 6 p.m. Right. And they'd be like, okay, cool. And then you'd go at 6 p.m.

And then like sometimes your friend wouldn't be there. And then you'd get home and you couldn't call them because it was too late to call a house phone. So it would be like 8, 30 or 9 and you can't call, it would be 9 and you can't call after 9. So then like you'd have to wait until the next day. And then you'd see your friend the next day. And you'd be like, dude, why didn't you come and play basketball with me. They were like, oh, my mom wouldn't let me. Like that and like, you would just have to That's it? Yeah. You would just have to like wait. Oh my God. I track my friends.

Yeah, there's no tracking. So like I know when they've left their house to come meet me. There's no tracking. You guys, it is so hot this summer. It is so beyond hot. And you know, the number one thing I hate is warmth. I hate it more than any, like anything in the entire world. Because my thinking is you can always If you're cold, you can always add more layers. If you are hot, like, what are you going to do? Rip off your skin?

That is why Cozy Earth makes cooling bamboo sheets for you, okay? And that is what I've been using to sleep in all summer. Whenever I am away from my bed, I miss my cozy earth bamboo sheets more than anything. They are the most comfortable cooling, soft bedding I've ever experienced in my life. Also, like, I understand, like, I'm very dramatic. If you don't, if you buy it and you don't like it, it's okay. they have an 100 night sleep trial. You can return it if you do not like it.

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your entire purchase. Thank you, Cozy Earth for sponsoring tonight's episode. Like, when we used to have to, like, jerk off when we were a kid. Like, like, like, Like, how did, like, how did you do it when you're a kid? I would watch HBO sex scenes. Yeah, we didn't have that.

Google, I don't even think Google existed. So how'd you jerk? We had, like, we had, like, ask Jeeves was like a thing. What's that? It's like pre-Google. It's crazy. So did you look up porn on there? Like, okay, we had 56K dial-up.

Like, do you know what that is? I've heard of it. So literally, it would be like this. If, if I was on, the computer and my mother picked up the phone. It would kick me off the computer because they shared the same thing. How does that even work? You would do it through your, and it would be like this.

This is how you got on. It would be like, do-d-do-d-do-d-d-d-d-d-d. And it would be like, that's like how you would get on the internet. And then you would like go to a website and it would be like a description. It would be like, woman naked. And you'd be like, hmm. And then you'd be like, I guess I'll do that one. And you like, it was like, woman naked forest.

And you'd like press a button. And it would be like this. It would be like this. Okay, it would go to another screen and it would take so long to go to that screen. And then we'd get to that screen. And it would be like, you'd be like, and you'd be like trying to figure out what is. And like, finally it would be like a woman naked and she'd be like, like, jerking off to like one woman just naked.

And you wouldn't even wait to the feet. you'd be like, fuck it. And then like, we used to print the pictures out. And then we'd print them out. And you'd like staple them until you like made like a, and are like, they were so grainy by the time they got out. You'd be like, like, you'd have to like squint to see it. And then all of a sudden your, your computer would get.

Like this was back when like viruses existed. Oh, yeah. Do you know? I know about viruses because one time I looked up, porn and my mom and my dad had to pull me in and be like you've given our computer a gay porn virus they were like and are you gay and you're like what no yes and i think i had to i think i don't and they were like we're not mad about what you're looking at but like we have a virus from gay porn but you're gay yeah like and you have a gay porn and you gave us a gay porn virus yeah is it worse

than a regular porn virus um why did they have to say gay porn virus they were just like they were like we know what you've been looking at. Did you ever get caught using dial-up to look at it inappropriate? Not really. Like we would like basically I had like a window of like 45 minutes before like my mother would get home and I would actually full speed run home to jerk off. Like I would run full speed like into my house

and sometimes friends would come over because I was the house where like you could jerk out of that. So like every we'd like print out pictures and people would like be like in a different room just like, like jerking. I don't know. You're so horny when you're a kid. No, I understand, but you were like, let's, how would you plan that? I feel like jerking off was such a private thing for me. Not for us.

And then you'd be like, you'd, and I remember, like, back in the day, your computer could freeze, okay? And when it froze, it would like, like, it didn't just like freeze where you're like, oh, just like, escape all quit or whatever. Control all delete. Like it's not like that. Your computer would actually freeze and it would just like freeze. And you'd have to rip the cord out of the wall.

Like when my parents were coming home, I'd be like, oh my God. And I'd like rip it out of the thing. And then like when you when like so you would get these pop up viruses and it would be like boop. And it would like pop up. Yeah. Remember those. And it would be like, boom, boom. And it'll be like Jake's watching porn.

Yeah. And it's gay. And then like all of a sudden you'd get. like a lot of them and it would be like do do do do do and they'll be like oh okay and then like there was my computer you like turn my computer on it would do like the turn on thing

and then we'd go like this would go and you couldn't even use the computer anymore and when I was a kid you couldn't just like fix it yourself you couldn't just like Google how to fix it you just have to call a man and a man would come over with a full briefcase

and he'd be like I'm here to look at computer and they'd have to pay a man like 50 bucks to come over. Oh, behind your parents back. No, no, no, no. My parents, I'd be like, mom, something happened with the computer. I don't know what it is. And it would be like, because it wouldn't say like porn. It would just be like so many pot.

You couldn't even read them. They were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it was like a machine gun of like, of pop-ups. And then like, like, they'd come and I'd be like, oh, mom, I'm really good with computers. I'll go, like, talk to the guy. And like, I'd go talk to the guy.

He'd be like, dude, he'd be like, there's so much porn on this computer. I'd be like, I'll do whatever you say, man. Just like, please don't tell my parents. And they'd be like, okay, we won't tell your parents. They'd like fix it. And then like two weeks later, the same thing. Would they get annoyed? My parents?

No, the computer guy. No, they're just like porn. And I'm like, like, like it's just like, or like illegally downloading songs. Like, because we do it on like Napster and Kazah and stuff. Got it. And LimeWire. I was a LimeW, I used LimeWire. So we had LimeWire to download porn.

But it would take so long. It would take so long. And you'd have to like, download porn like like for 24 hours and and and then like you'd finally get it. At that point is it worth it? Yes. When you're a kid, is it worth it?

You're shaking. And you'd get it. And sometimes it would be like porn and you'd be like yes. And then sometimes it would literally just be like like static and be like like like the craziest noise. And you'd be like fuck. Like I waited 24 hours for just like static. So when like this when like social media evolved like were you guys like oh this is awesome for are porn intake?

I don't know. I can't even remember. Like, I just remember, I just remember I got big. Like, I got first discovered because of MySpace. Right. That was, like, social media for me.

So, like, I used to, like, just, like, hit up anyone who was, like, of any relevance and be like, I make music. I just did this thing for the end and it'd be like, the worst. I'd be like, did this for, like, someone's cousin's nephew.

And, like, I, like, then the credits started getting better. And I, like, I, like, started to get, a bunch of friends on like like it was like the first thing where you would get like popular that's like how you got popular on like my space and i like had like a lot of friends like basically like i had like i think i had like 15,000 friends got it on my space and like for like at that point like that was like huge like there was like the the biggest person in the world oh well this girl tela tequila oh i watched a shot at double shot at love okay so she at that point like when i had like 15

thousand she had like 500,000 and she was like nobody was even close to her and so like I had like 15 like I had by far like the most of like anyone near my area and I don't even know why it had I was just like doing funny shit and I would like write on like people's walls like crazy shit and like it was just like I was 13 right and and then and then I like just like started like getting gradually like more known but like yeah like when Twitter came out I remember I was like what's Twitter Twitter and I like didn't know any. TikTok, same thing. Yeah.

My friend, literally, I was putting out my second album. And my friend was like, you got to use this thing called TikTok if you want your songs to be big. And I was like, what's TikTok? And he was like, it's the thing like where everyone like dances on it. And I was like, well, I don't want to dance on it. And he was like, no, you don't have to. Just like go on and like just do stuff.

He was like, there's like these things called trends and they're doing some to like some of your like songs that are like older. And I was like, I don't know, man. I don't want to do this. And he was like, I'm going to come over to your house and I'm going to film you. Uh-huh. And he, like, filmed three videos for me.

And, like, I, like, post them. And they actually got 400 views. And I was like, dude, I'm not doing this ever again. 400 views. Right. That's crazy. Oh, I would have. And I went to bed.

Uh-huh. And then I woke up. And my friend was like, I told you. And I was like, what do you mean you told me? And he was like, and, like, one of my first videos got, like, 10 million. Wow. This was when TikTok was like Explosive.

Like do you know like When it was like And it was like And then I was like oh shit And then like I posted another video And it like did nothing And then like I posted like one more And then it got like millions of views

And then all of a sudden I had like 500,000 followers In like three days In like three days Yeah And then it was like And then I was like oh And then my song started getting really big And then I like really got the hang of it

And then I was like I was like Like in order to get the hang of this, I need to see it. So my friend came over one day and he showed me the for you page. Because I've never used, still to this day, I don't never use, I've never scrolled. Benny, like, my screen time is insane. Really? All I do, scroll, scroll, scroll.

So, like, what are you going to do? Like, break me down with what you did earlier today and what you're going to, like, do after. Really? I love talking about this. So I woke up at 7 a. I woke up and my bed vibrates to wake me up. What? Yes, it's an eight sleep.

Oh, yeah, I have one of those. Really? I took it off immediately. I hated, like, I hated the, it made me freezing all night. But you can make it warm. Yeah, no, I don't like that thing. Okay, well, like... I have two extra if you want one.

King size or queen size? King and Cow King. Okay, I might get a new, a king bed for my new room, so I actually might... Do you want one? Yeah. I literally have an extra one at my house. Really? I swear.

I would like that. Okay, maybe for a small prize. Okay. I'll pay. Okay. Okay. No, I got mine for free. You can, you can have it.

I got mine for free. free to. Okay, okay. You can have it. Okay, cool. So basically I woke up and my bed, my bed vibrated to wake me up. Then I walked to get coffee. I listened to my music. And then I went to go workout at the Allo Gym where you actually have a studio. Oh, I do have a studio there. You have a studio there. Yeah. And, um... You can use it whenever you want. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay, cool. I got an IV in there once. In the studio? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

What type of IV? I don't know. I get an IV like once a week. Really? Yeah. Why? I'm addicted. Have you ever put Benadry on an IV? Yeah. Go stupid. Do you guys get IVs? Does your mom know you get an IV?

My dad knows. What's your dad think? He thinks, I'm like, it's healthy. He's like, okay, God. That's it. It's healthy. He's like, No, he's like, it's good.

Okay, good. So I worked out, I did cryotherapy. Then I came home, shaved my entire chest. Do you have to have a shaved chest to be gay? I think hair's back in. Do you shave your dick? Yeah, I get it lasered off. Your dick?

Yes. You get your dick lasered? Like, no, there's like a little, but it's not like a bush. Yeah, so it's just like manicured. Yeah. But like how little are we talking? Like your eyebrows or less? Is it like this?

Is it like mine? Right now, it's bald. That's crazy. I know. That's insane. I know. I know. I know.

I don't know. Okay. Do you want a bald dick? No. Yeah. Are you gay or straight? Straight. Do you want a bald dick?

Yeah. Your dick's not bald. I already know. I can already, I know what your dick looks like. I know everything about it. Like, I know your dick already. I got the wax. I waxed my asshole.

Uh-huh. And first of all, the position they put you in this insane. I know. Insane. You're like, legs are above your head. And I'm sitting there. And I was like talking to the. lady while she's doing it and she's like oh my god she's like she was like I saw steely dan

last night and they were so good while she's like and she's like talking to me like about like about like 80s rock bands while she's like but I will tell you first of all it does not hurt at all it feels so good the warmth the warmth of the wax yeah yeah the way you do sugaring or wax uh I think she does a combination I think or something I don't know what she does she's like very next level Okay, yeah. I will tell you one thing. Okay, first of all, I've never been so clean down there. Like, it's like you're, it's almost like two like, okay, so guys have hair in their tush because it like catches the sweat and stuff.

When you have, when you have no, like, when you have no hair, it's like, I'm like, it's like a slip and slice. It's like so, it does for girls too. Yeah. But then you have to, you just have to take care of yourself down there to make sure it doesn't end up. like that. No, no, no,

but it's just like, it's just like, if you like, go for, no, not wiping. Like, oh,

wiping is amazing. Oh my God, wiping is insane. I use a to-to toilet anyways. Oh, you're a, I love getting like,

an explosion of water up my asshole. Like, there's nothing I love more than just like, being like blasted. Like, I wish it was like,

I wish it was like, like, like, like I would take a full machine gun of water up my, yeah, like the harder the better.

Okay. It feels so good. I guess it kind of jars me. I've only done it twice. I love it. I like sit on it and I'm like, I'm like riding. Like it's like amazing. It's incredible.

Yeah. One time I was like in the doctor's office and there was like a man and like a woman examining like my penis. Like in the like just like doing like physical like checking around and it might have been a dermatology. I forget what it was. I think it was a regular doctor when they tell you cough and stuff. And the lady starts talking and she's like,

oh my God, I love when you did that. And she's like talking and then asked me for a picture. No, no, afterwards. And I was just like, I can never come here again. Is that HIPAA? I think that's like illegal, right? Yeah, that's not legal. And I was like, I've never been like more violated in my life.

I never went back again. And was it like a physical? Like, were they, like, all up on you, that whole exam? Yeah, I mean, the girl wasn't, she was just, like, shadowing the doctor. I think she was, like, the doctor's assistant. I don't know what it was. I don't know. And she was there, and she was, like, starts talking to me, like, and she was just talking to me throughout the whole time, not just, like, one of my pants were now.

And then, like, and then she's, like, they're like, like, the guy's, like, having me cough and, like, my penis is just, like, out. And then, like, yeah, then she's, like, asked me for a picture. And I was like, and then I started thinking, I'm like, are all our doctors just, like, talking about, like, all our deepest, darkest secrets when they get home. Probably. Like they're just like, oh my God, they're like Jake's asshole. Yeah. Huge. They're like gaping.

Like, well, one time my friend got a finger, like the doctor had to like stick a finger up his ass and he peed. A good pee or bad? I don't know, but he said, ooh, and peed across the entire patient room. And the doctor said, it happens. He's like, it happens. I'm going to be like talking about it while I'm eating like Angelini like. Octopus tonight, but it happens. Isn't that crazy?

That's insane. Doctor, are therapists saying everything? I don't know. How long have you had your therapist for? Like 18 years. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. How long have you had your six months?

Like a year or less than? Like, I don't know. And all I do is talk shit with her. I like don't do. You don't even do therapy. You're just like, bitch. Guess what? Yes.

Is that basically you? Yes. Well, no, like I'll get into like my intimacy problems. Intimity? Intimacy problems. in the last like five minutes. You have intimacy problems? Like I definitely am not like, I don't have like solutions for it.

But what are the problems? Like I'm not good at it. But why aren't you good at intimacy? Because it makes me nervous. Really? Yeah. Do you get nervous like to go in for the kiss? Do you get nervous?

No, I'm, I've actually was told twice last week by two different people that I'm a good kisser. I know. That's so good. Never heard that before. And I was like, I'll take it. Okay. So you're a good kisser. I could see it.

You look like a good kisser. Really? Yeah, you got a good mouth. Thank you. Okay. So then you, what are the intimacy problems? Like, I just get super anxious. Like before you're doing?

I think I'm just like uncomfortable with my body. Yeah, your body's great. Is that why you're going to the gym? Yeah. Did you, like, used to be like a chubby kid or something? Yeah, I was like very chubby when I was like 10 and then I lost a bunch of weight. And then post-grad I gained a little bit of weight. And then I was like, I gotta lose it.

You look great now. Thank you so much. Nolan, do you think I've lost weight since we've started this? Absolutely. Are you trying to get like six-pack? Yeah, like, ideally I would like, like, a four-pack. Yeah. That would be nice.

How close? Do you think? How close? Like, four, five months away if I took it seriously. Do you have like a crazy trainer or something? Yeah, but like I- You just like talk shit. Like, I like I go out, like I go out a lot and then I'm drunky.

Like, yeah, I try to. I eat healthy today and yesterday. Does he eat healthy? Yeah, I think so. I overeat. I eat like I've never been fed. Yeah, I have to eat every two hours. It's like I'm starving right now.

Really? And I ate right before I came here. I ate the second before I came here and I'm starving. What did you eat? I made like a nice little like, I made like some like shrimp and vegetables and rice. Just like very. That's my favorite. I really would like you to cook for me.

I would love to cook with you. Really? Yeah, I want to be your friend in real life. I want to be your friend in real life. Really? I'm dead serious. Or do you just like say stuff like that? No, I'm like dead serious.

Like I actually am going to hit you up and text you. Are you like an L.A. follow through or just like? No, I'm a follow through. Really? Yeah. What do you usually do on the weekend? Like, this weekend I'm in New York. What are you doing?

Aren't you like on tour? Yeah, I go back on tour in a few weeks if you want to pop out. So what is, so what's the tour? Do you do this on stage? No, I like stand up and I talk about myself for like an hour and 45 minutes. You just talk about yourself, like, however you feel that night. Like, Manny, can you explain, can you give her the mic? Can she explain, like, what she thinks the...

Um. Does anyone ever see them? on camera. So they just hear you guys. Are there people who have like crushes on them without, no, no. I don't know. Not yet. Submissions.

Oh, really? A lot of people. Oh. About who? Oh. Oh. About you? Yeah.

Oh. They say they fall in love with my voice. Oh, I didn't. They put their numbers in there. He's hot. He's like, he's definitely a hot guy. Thanks, man. He's definitely, don't ever show yourself.

No, no, no, no, don't, keep it a mystery. Keep it a mystery. No, he's really hot. He's very hot. Thank you. So, Mani, do you want to explain, like, what my show's like, or what's the vibe? Yes. Let's get back to Jake.

His show, it's like a hybrid stand-up. It's kind of, like, a big hangout session where he also has a structure and jokes, but audience participation, he talks about himself, he talks about his childhood. He, like, the PowerPoint presentation has a lot of funny visuals, a lot of funny, like, just a lot of his fans are called Pist's. And so the pussies are a really big part of it. And it's kind of just like an hour and 45 minutes of hanging out and laughing. And then he also sings.

Songs from my album Piss and Pows. Oh my God. I love that. Where are you playing here? Here, we had to move the L.A. date. Okay. But in New York, I'm doing Radio City in June. Amazing.

Well, Radio City is huge. I know. Is that your biggest one you've ever done? Yeah. Oh, my God. Are you going to sell it out? I think it's about to be sold out. Just selling out?

Just like, this like easy for you? I don't know. Like, I didn't think it would sell that much, but it has. New York's my hometown, so. That's so cool. I want to come. Do you actually want to? I want to come to a show for sure.

When is your L.A. show? Like, we need to reschedule it. Okay, I'm 100% coming to your L.A. show. I swear. I'll have to pop out. I swear, I'll pop out. Have ever seen, what's his name here? Jay Shetty was here the other week.

He said you guys were close friends. Have you been to one of his shows? No. Oh, he came on your podcast. Yeah. Really? Damn, you get everyone on your pod. Oh, thanks.

He talked about how much he adored you. No. Yes. I just, me and Celine did a show. Yeah, he was telling me. He was using your relationship as an example for a relationship that I should strive for. Oh, wow. Big shoes.

I know. I, uh, we, I have a good relationship. I know. It's really good. Yeah. It's not, it's like, it's so easy. That's, well, love should be easy, huh? It's so.

It's usually, I used to think, like, oh, yeah, like, it's supposed to be hard. Like, it's supposed to be, like, a fight. It's supposed to be, like, a pat. I kind of want that. Love easier, hard. Fights. Like, I kind of, like, just want to experience toxicity. I have a lot of gay friends.

You do? Can you set me up with one of them? Yes. And I have, like, I have so many, like, cute parties and things to do. Like, I'll make all of them go to your radio city show. Really? Yeah, so you, like, look like the man, and then you come off stage, and you're like, oh, my God. And then I'll have an after party after.

Do you love a party? I used to party. When I was in college, I would party Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, every single week, sometimes Sunday. And I wouldn't miss a night out. I literally refused to miss a night out. Like, if I miss a night out, like, hell had frozen over. Do you miss a night out now? All the time.

I rarely go out now. Okay, what are you going to do in New York? Go out. So. Tell me your plans in New York this weekend. I want to know everything. Do you really? Yes.

Okay. So I get there Thursday. Okay. Boring. No. I'm just getting well. Okay, okay. You get there Thursday.

I'm staying at. Okay. So I'm super excited. I've never stayed there before. Okay. Okay. I'm going to go on a date Thursday night with this guy I've been seeing. What's the sushi restaurant?

Okay. Yeah, he was raving about it. Yeah, it's yummy. I've only had postmates. I've never been there. Okay. But it was, it was yummy. Okay.

Okay, keep going. Okay, so I'm going to see him. I think that's what it's called. And he's, but we're getting drinks with my two girlfriends and him beforehand because my girlfriend's wanted to see me. And your girlfriends live in New York. Yeah. Okay.

What are their names? Cassidy and Sally. Okay. Cassidy and Sally. And then Friday, this is my BNO. So Friday, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to work out. And then I have an important meeting that I'm really excited for, but it's over Zoom. So it doesn't matter if I took it in New York or L.A. or whatever.

Then Friday night. I have a reservation at my favorite, like going out spot. Okay. And I have a reservation with me and all my girls. And we are going to go and black out Saturday. Same girls, Cassidy and Sally. and then some. Okay, and a lot of girls.

Probably. And then Saturday comes around and I have to fly to Boston. Because my best friend's older brother is giving the commencement speech at Northeastern. Wow. Okay. Yeah, very exciting. So then I'm with my... And you'll party there.

Is Alice here? Alice. Okay, then what? Well, so we'll probably, maybe not. We'll go out to a nice dinner, probably in Boston. I doubt we'll party. Yeah, yeah. And then Sunday I come back to New York.

I don't know what I'll do And then Monday I have the Webby Awards Are you hosting or something? No, I won an award Congrats Thanks Okay, and then you'll party after that Or not?

No, I'll probably just, because I have a flight Tuesday morning very, very early Where? Back to here to come home Because I have to be here First thing in the morning To go to Alexander's studio To finish my Christmas song

Because it's the last time I can do it Before I leave for tour And then how long are you on tour for? I am on tour from middle of May to end of May, and then I go to France all of June. For why? Wedding, vacation, another wedding, work, vacation, back to tour. And then what? And then it's July.

And then what are you going to do? I finish tour a little more. Yeah. And I'm going to spend a lot of time in L.A. Maybe I'll go fuck around in New York. What a life. Live my life. What are your plans for the summer?

I have some things I have to work on in L.A. And then honestly, I really want to take, like, a little break. I've been working so much. I realize, like, I haven't really, like, had much time off in a while. And I'm about to, like, just, like, relax. Like, I just want to, like, lay in bed. Like, I want to lay in bed and, like, forget what day it is because we've been in bed, like, just watching stuff. Not usually.

Yeah. But, but, like, with Sleana, I can do it, like, all day. Like she makes me want to just like hang out and cuddle and like, like, and just watch things and just like eat food and have like piles of food around us and like have the best time ever. Are you guys wedding planning yet? Has that not yet. We like that's why we both need to show. We both been working so much.

We like got engaged. Then we like we're like filming music videos for our album. Then like we, then we like, then it's holidays. Then right after holidays. We had to, like, start all the promo for our stuff. Then we do that. Then she left to film her show, only murders. And then, like, I met her.

Then we hung out for, like, a week. And then right after that, it's, like, promo. And then I'm writing another book. So then I had to, like, write, like, a book. And then, like, she came back for, like, one day here. Then I, like, it's like, it was my birthday. And then it was, you know, so it's like. Happy played.

Thanks. And then we never. And then. then like I'm always we're both working on so many things that we hadn't even had time to like get into it but like we're so excited I think like this summer we're gonna like sit down and be like okay what are we doing huh I think so that's gonna be awesome but it'll be like chill yeah yeah it'll be chill but let yeah it'll be amazing I don't know I don't know what's that it's the tell me what's wrongs well what were you about to say nothing what's tell me what's wrong it's the

Pussies right in and they tell us what's wrong and we give them advice. Are you serious? Yeah. And we like prescribe them stuff. Okay. I got with a guy who I didn't realize had a girlfriend at the time. Now his friends are blaming me for the situation and even booed me last night because they broke up. We're in the same social circles.

So how do I get out of this? You want to take this one away? Like I would just be like, fuck you guys. You suck. Like I don't know what to tell. Like it sucks. Like guys suck. Like they're, of course they're blaming you.

Okay. But they won't like put any responsibility onto their. loser friend. Okay, I'm gonna be in charge in the next one. Okay. Your advice is great. Like, this is your...

Right? Like, what men suck? Like, they, like, what do you mean? Like, of course, they won't blame their friend because then they have to look inward. Yeah. They suck. I would prescribe...

You did? I don't really know... Okay. Okay. I am seriously going to lose my mind over this girl. She has been one of my best friends for over six years, but I just can't stand to be around her anymore.

We had an argument a while ago and stopped talking for six months and it was the best six months of my life. Now that we've passed things up a little, I'm starting to feel those same bad feelings as before. What should I tell her? Okay. You, I think you have a wiser take on this.

Look, there's two worlds. Like, we all have, first of all, everybody has a friend that they're just, like, grandfathered in. Like, no matter what, they're like, they kind of just have to be your friend for the rest of your life. You hate them.

But they, but that you're so embarrassed of them. Every time you bring them around, you're like, oh, this is going to be terrible, but you have no other choice. They're already in the circle, and you can't get a new friend. They know too much. Right. They're like, it's like a therapist.

Like you don't want to teach a new friend like all this stuff. They've been your friend for like 10 years. You kind of have to keep them. So there's like a little bit of that world. And then I always think like the truth is going to set you free. You just have to tell the truth. You have to be like, look, I'm like finding myself like resenting you a little bit. We patch this up.

Like, what are we going to do about it? and talk to them. And, like, sometimes the mature thing is, like, letting go. And then sometimes it's like, oh, no, let's, like, try to work through this. Right. I think, I think you should definitely try that unless they're already in the grandfathered in. Like, the grandfathered in, you have no, there's no choice. You're fucked.

Right, because they know too much. Yeah, grandfathered in. Like, don't you have some friends you, like, hate, like, you hate them. Like, they're your friend. No, you do. No, no. Really? It's, you know what I'm talking about.

You know, yeah, obviously, he's such a liar. He's such a liar You just like don't want to eat it You're on it's because we're on a podcast Like like yeah I have friends I hate you know who you are I don't even know which camera to look at No but like you hate them like

You don't actually hate them You're just like oh Really you said that like we're like Do you have like people you bring around someone You're like why would you say that Like that's usually me Oh really? Yeah like that's maybe I'm the friend

Yeah Like my friend Will always is like what the Why the fuck would you say that Like how could you say that Like you've been like So embarrassing. But I would prescribe truth hurts by Lizzo. Oh.

Oh, okay, okay. You see? Yes, yes, yes. The past two or three guys I've gotten with keep finishing so quickly, like record speed. I know it's a low-key compliment, but come on. What do I got to do here? Some people have like issues with it. Maybe, I think maybe like try a lot of foreplay first so that like by the time you get to set like,

like maybe like have them like go down on you or like do something that's going to you know or bring a toy into it or something something that's going to get you either like you already came before or like you can come very easily and then maybe that'll like work their confidence backup i prescribe i prescribe um like going to babe land or something i used to toy the first time i lost my virginity you did yeah no first time yes that's insane isn't that insane isn't that That's crazy. Like, isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's crazy. That's insane. Like, you're so, you're embarrassed.

I think I've even ever told my friends that. Yeah, that's insane. That's insane. I want to become a singer-songwriter and went to an open mic the other night and got awkwardly laughed off stage after my performance. It didn't kill me, but it sure didn't feel good. Like, am I cut out for this? Do you want to start?

And then I will. Like, yeah, I think you're cut out for it. I think your outlook on it is great. Like, it didn't kill me, but it was. what didn't feel great. Obviously, that's not going to feel good. You're human. Of course it's not going to feel good.

Yeah, people tell me no. Still all the time. Really? Yes, so many times. Like, you're going to fail so much. Like, you're going to fail constantly. Like, you're going to, like, nobody's going to remember your failures, though. Like, nobody's coming up to you and they're like,

Jake, do you remember that, like, one podcast you had that, like, didn't go off that well? Or, like, at that show when you told that one joke, uh-huh. Like, and if they are focused on that, they're, like, a piece of shit. And like they shouldn't do like it doesn't like they're just like prang on your downfall. But like no normal person. Like when you talk about like Michael Jordan, you're not like, remember when he missed that like game winning three? You're like, oh my God, do you remember when he dunked from the foul line with his tongue out? Like you know, you're like thinking of shit like that.

Right. Like and I think you just have to like keep going and and it's all going to work out. And like the only chance you won't make it is if you quit. Like that's the only chance you guaranteed to not make it. I guess you're right. What do you want to put? describe. Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.

Oh. My friend made that song. Really? Who made that? Ali Tampozy. Oh, wow. Singer songwriter. Have you ever worked with Kelly Clarkson?

I've never worked with Kelly. I went on her show, but I never worked with her. Oh, okay. My best friend just started dating my secret crush of a year and a half. I know that's totally on me, but I'm heartbroken and I'm dreaming of sabotage. Do I commit to the bit or just be more open with my feelings next time? So actually, I've had an experience with this. One time my friend hooked up with my crush.

And did you, did he know was your crush? So I thought he did, but he was like, you never fucking told me that you liked this guy. So that is on you and it was on me. But next time you just have to be more open and honest. Yeah, I think so too. Like, I learned the hard way. What do you want me? How dare you hook up with him?

Like, you knew I liked him. He's like, you literally never told me that. And I didn't. Did you ask him like the tea on it? Yeah, I did. Was it good? He said it was okay. Okay.

Well, what do you recommend? Yours was perfect. But what do we prescribe? What do we prescribe? Nothing? I don't. Do you have anything? This is your show.

I know, but I'm kind of like, speechless. Like, I don't really know. It touched you too deep. Yeah, I guess maybe it did. Like, I prescribed you my situation. You prescribe, like, maybe real therapy? No, or, um...

No, never that. Yoga? Yeah, or I prescribe, I prescribe, like, um... What would they prescribe? like Earth Cafe or something. I hate Earth Cafe. Yeah, obviously. I have never hated...

Nobody likes Earth Cafe. Really? Then why is it still around? Riddle me not. Because I think like people saw it on like entourage and we're like, oh. Really? I think so. I fucking hate that place. What's your favorite restaurant in L.A.?

Not Earth Cafe. Yeah, same. What are your faves? Um... Actual faves. Montu-Hisa. Okay. I love Matsuhisa.

Okay. Okay, cool. Tosgana. Okay. Have you been to Tosgana? Yes. It's amazing. Oh, I guess you've been there, so.

La Chah Chah in downtown L.A. The, what's that? It's great. It's Mexican food. Okay. That's about it. Okay, so three places. Do you cook?

Yeah, I used to a lot more than I do now. Oh, Mr. Chow. Love Mr. Chow. What do you cook? I used to. What do you used to? Like, you died? Oh, like, I just.

I order in every day. You do? What'd you order today? Well, today I had like a pre-made meal from my healthy chef. Oh, are you on like a pre-cooked meals thing? Really? You're really trying to get like skinny? I'm really trying.

Is it good? Yeah, she's great. How many calories are you allowed to have a day? I haven't gotten that far yet, but I know I will one day. Like if I ever get lucky and I get like a roll where I have to be super skinny and ripped, like I'm excited for that day where I'm like I can only eat this many calories. Really? Do you cook every day?

For every meal. I cook a lot. Because by the time you order Postmates, it's like, you're like, what was this supposed to be? Yeah. It's like so cold and like disgusting. Or like the guy, like, it looks like he got in like an off-roading, like accident. Like you're like like the crispy tuna rice is like upside down. And there's like a jalapeno like somehow out of the box already.

And it's like like you're like what? Yes. So I rather just like make stuff at home. And I really love cooking. What's your favorite restaurant? Oh, my favorite restaurants. Okay. So I love

I love a place called Sushi Yamamoto Oh okay This is good to know I need a new sushi place Okay it's amazing It's a little bit pricey but it's amazing And it's like

Very like sneaky like up in a thing It's like it's cool And yeah like of course I love like sushi park And all that shit But like It's uh It's really delicious And it's really cool

And then I like I like Thai food a lot I love Thai food a lot I love Thai food. So, like, I love, like, Jitlada, Northern Thai food club. Never been. Never been. They're in Thai town.

Okay. And I love, like, spicy B.BQ. And then, like, I love Mexican food. Okay. So I love, like, you know, Mariscoo Helisco. I love, like, Tacos La Unica. I love Halbos. Yeah.

I've been to Halbos. Yeah. So good. Yeah. And I love, like, I like, like, I like, for, I love, like, found oyster and stuff. You're putting me on to so many places. I like Safis. Have you been to Safis?

Yes, I've been to Salfis. Safis is yummy. You've been to Carousel? Yeah, of course. I love Carousel. I love, like, Rafis too and all that shit. Never been to Rafis. Raffi's good.

And, like, mini kebab. Wait, maybe I have been to Rafis. Raffis is like the Persian Armenian place. A little fancier. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've been there. Then I like... I like Medeo.

Yeah, Madeo's great. Old school. Yeah. I like... I usually cook Italian food when it's at home because that's like you... That's the one thing I cook, too. Oh, you do? I make a pasta.

Okay. I pour a bunch of olive oil in a pan. Okay. Cut up a bunch of tomatoes. Okay. Saute the tomatoes until the olive oil becomes like tomatoy olive oil. Then I make my pasta on the side, save a bunch of pasta water, pour the pasta water in, mix it all together. And then I like add cheese and salt, call it a day.

Yeah, it's fucking delicious. Yeah, it's great. Like everything should be like simple, beautiful. What's your favorite thing to cook? Honestly, I cook so many different things. I really want you to cook for me. I will cook for you. I'll cook.

Now that I know you like Italian, I'll cook you like a delicious Italian. Okay. I'm excited. We're going to make like a, like a, I can either do like Northern, like Super, like kind of like I like Northern Italian. Or I could do like, you know, like chicken parmesan. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

So we'll do like a, we'll do like beautiful Italian with like with like a beautiful pasta like like maybe a seafood pasta like a lobster like a spicy. I love a lobster pasta. Yeah, we'll like do that and I'll make like a beautiful like bread and and make like a really good salad and maybe like a little bit of like steak like a delicious steak. Like a delicious steak. I love a steak. How do you eat your steak? First I'll like smoke it.

Okay. On like a Trager for like an hour, really slow. And get it like super smoking. Then take it off and like sear it and give it like a butter bath. With like with like garlic and then I'll rub your feet. Okay. Do you want me to rub your feet? Or it's like that the intimacy is too much.

No, no. I like I like happy my feet rubbed. I can make you feel comfy. Like in like a massage setting. Yeah. Like an intimate. I can make you feel like very comfortable. I'm sure you can.

Yeah. I went to a Valentine's Day celebration with my boyfriend and his family. I got really drunk and made out with his cousin. I really just want to sweep this one under the rug, but I know I shouldn't. Help. Do they know? So it's,

I don't know, but it does sound like you cheated on your boyfriend. Yeah. That's a no-no. Of course. That's bad. Mm-hmm. That's bad.

That's, like, really bad. Yeah. You cheat on your boyfriend with his cousin. He definitely doesn't know. And he's not saying anything either. Like, is everyone a bad person? The boyfriend's not. Well, the boyfriend's probably

She said she wants to sweet this one under the rugs It sounds like he doesn't know maybe Yeah, but like So like she's like might be bad Yeah And like the cousin is definitely The cousin is definitely bad Well it sounds like she has a drinking problem

Yeah yeah And the cousin for sure is like Yeah Like asshole Yeah I would prescribe You know blame it on the Ah, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

The glee cover version I was just talking about Jamie Fox Really? I've never seen Glee. I know about it, though, and I know everything about it. I mean, I would hope that you would know about Glee. They've done Teenage Dream twice. Really?

I'm going to be sick. I'm sorry. I'm going to be sick. What do you mean? Just shut up and read the next question. No, they did Teenage Dream once in all boys' school. It was fucking amazing. It was amazing, amazing, amazing.

I'm so out of the loop. It's crazy. I can't believe you've never seen Glee. So they did Teenage Dream once, And it was like a bunch of, it was an all-boys school called, and there was an a cappella group called the Warblers. So they did the first teenage dream.

I don't even know the concept of Glee. It's a Glee Club in high school. Oh, okay. So, and it was super major when they did it. Have you seen it? The guy in the Warblers breaks up with Kurt, the guy in the other Glee Club. He sings an acoustic rendition of Teenage Stream in a New York City bar. Did you lose your mind?

Did you cry? I mean, like, shivers down my spine. Do you know what I'm talking about? It is one of the most iconic moments in Gleek history. I love you. Thank you. I love you too. Okay, go to the next one.

Okay. You know, you'll cook for me. I'll watch Glee with you. Okay. Is that our first date? Yes. Okay. I can't believe you haven't seen Gleek.

So many of your songs have been on Gleet. Yeah, I guess so. I just met a guy and we hooked up. Well, it turns out he's married. He's 23. And now I just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. He will not return my text. What is a woman to do?

I prescribe write a screenplay. That's crazy. Right. What she just said is insane. Right. Read it one more time. I just met a guy and we hooked up. Well, it turns out he's married.

He's 23 and now I just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. He will not return my text. What is a woman to do? Buy a gun? Right. For him. I'm like... Yeah.

Get rid of him, maybe. Or, yeah, or that. That's crazy. I mean, I would definitely out him to his... wife for sure yeah for sure DM to the wife DM to the wife first thing first thing right I wouldn't hey girlie a DM with a pregnancy like I would like maybe like find her at work I prescribe once again the other woman best movie ever um I would go to them at work and be like yo like your husband fucked me and I am now pregnant and I did not know he was married I'm so sorry I'm either

keeping the baby or I'm not and just like what do you? you want to do here personally because like we should stick together. I love it. Yeah. That's what I would do. Yeah. For sure. And then like maybe like plot revenge against him together.

Yeah. Yeah. Together revenge. Is that the, the, the plot of other? Of the other women. Yeah. They, they each three. Or I also prescribe like John Tucker must die.

Oh, yeah. So you do know pop culture. I've seen that one. John Tucker must die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that one. the best movie ever. What's that guy's name? John Tucker. No, his real name in real.

Oh, of course, I don't know. Was he like your crush growing up? Yeah, I also thought he was very attractive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also had a gay awakening with, um, I forget now. Okay. Okay, well, that was our last tummy, what's wrong. So, Benny, what did we learn today? Is this what happens? Oh, you ask people what they learned? Yeah, what did you learn? I learned that you're a really good guy And I learned that I feel like You deserve the best type of love

Oh my God You might be the problem You might be a little bit selfish And maybe the problem But like you need to find the right person That's gonna like tame your lion And like put you in place when you need to be And it sounds like you can make a good pasta

And I can't wait to watch Glee with you I learned that you have never seen Glee And you literally don't know have the songs you've made. Benny Blanco, thank you for coming on Therapus. I love you. I love you, too. I love you guys too.

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