Therapuss with Jake Shane - Session 86: Selena Gomez

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

I’ve never been more excited and nervous in my entire life… Thank you to SeatGeek for Sponsoring this Episode! Use my code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/JAKE  Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Thank you to Booking.com for sponsoring this episode! Find exactly what you’re BOOKING for on Booking.com! Follow Selena and Get Your Rare Beauty here! https://www.rarebeauty.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorBIREf7cKDmYnazfOfmUTvOcDOpkxx20QqItI_-O7IV_1T6CfU Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shopping the app, online, and in stores. Hi, pussies. I am just as shocked as you are, to be honest. When I received the text that this was a possibility at Selena Gomez could come on therapist, I literally thought about the first time I ever recorded this podcast with Julia and just I had zero expectations. I didn't know how well it was going to do if anyone was going to care. but you guys really showed up for me and you are all the reason that this happened.

I mean, I've been a fan of Selena Gomez. I feel like that's so redundant to say. I feel like everyone's like, you know what I mean? I feel like that's Selena Gomez, who is she's not to overuse the word, but iconic. And to have her on this show was so crazy. She was so lovely. The entire time I just couldn't believe she was here.

Really just thank you guys for. first and foremost for like allowing something like this to even happen. Well, but we have Selena Gomez on tonight. We got to talk about Disney. We talked about Rare Beauty. We talked about Selena Gomez and the scene. We talked about only murders in the building. We talked about everything.

And she is just, I can't say it enough. So wonderful. And so Selena, thank you for coming on. I really don't think it needs any further introduction. I really hope you guys enjoy the episode. To submit, tell me what's wrong. Go to pass thatpuss.com and click tell me what's wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy.

And I present to you, Therapus, with Selena Gomez. Love you, pussies. Hi, Pussies. Welcome back to Therapus. From wizardry to solving murders, from number one singles to Oscar-nominated films, and now a billion-dollar beauty empire. The Queen, the greatest of all time, Selena Gomez is here. I think you just wrote my vows.

No, I practice that. all morning. You are so sweet. No, this is so exciting. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. I don't think I've ever been so excited and nervous for a guest before in my life. Oh, no. Oh, I should, that should be the opposite, especially when you hang out with me. You'll know in five minutes that I'm not that cool. Okay. Well, everyone was saying, she's like, she's the most common person. Like, she'll bring you, she'll bring you peace. I was like, okay, great. Good. I like that. Happy belated. Thank you. How was your birthday?

It was so much fun. I, to be honest, I didn't really want anything because it was 33. So I just, a dinner would be, you know, nice. And Benny, my fiance, just was like, oh, maybe we'll just throw something at a place. And then a few people will come. And only 20 people to 30 people were there because I wanted a dinner. Yeah. But it was so nice.

It's like, imagine going to a party. before it gets really rowdy, and then it stays that initial group, and then you all just get rowdy together, and then you end the night together. So it was one of those unexpected, lovely birthdays, for sure. That sounds amazing. I thought I'd have dinner and, like, that's it with my pajamas on. But you had a lovely. I did.

Yeah. So thank you for asking you. Oh, my God. Well, happy belated. Are you enjoying your 30s so far? Oh, boy, am I? Yes. A lot of my life.

I wouldn't say has become clearer because that would be ignorant of me. I think there's so much more I'm meant to learn and to do and will always be saying that no matter what age. I do feel, however, I've let a lot of things just slide off my back, if that makes sense. It's not something that I try to do consciously. It's just I do believe the older you get the less you care about the things you thought you did before. Right. So it feels, it feels really great, you know, in my 30s. I, you know, we've been doing the brand and I got engaged and my little sister is graduating

sixth grade. And so all of those moments are things I'm going to cherish. Congratulations. Thank you. And how is the brand doing? How's Rare doing? Rare is great. Thank you.

You know, this is a gift that keeps giving, to be honest. I've always, well, we launched initially in COVID. So to be honest, my hopes were not that high considering we were all trapped inside anyway until this beautiful thing happened where the TikToks and the world of the internet was able to start cooking trends and people were cooking more. And then, you know, makeup gurus would want to do fun makeup and you can do it at your home. or in the safety of your bedroom and all these things kind of started popping up and and that was really exciting but we were nervous and then when it was finally released to the world I felt relieved I don't think I feel like I need to check in um on like status of anything I've always just wanted

to make sure that it envelops everything I believe which is simply that I want people to feel good and themselves and their bodies and their minds. I work on it every day. It's not easy. And we just, we've built a really strong community. And I think that's what I'm proud of. Like,

when did the idea for Rare, like, start? So it was about over five years ago, and I recorded this song called Rare. And I loved the song. Thank you. I loved the song so much. And the words seemed very true to where I was and I you know my favorite line of the whole song is I know I'm not perfect but I know that I'm special

and that's the kind of gratitude that I think keeps me solid in a way because that's how I view everything right so when we started and it all came together it was it was just a gift so now I just try to continue to make it better and love on it I never want to stop working on rare. Does it like, is it one of those things that like doesn't feel like work because it's so fun? Definitely doesn't. Yeah. Even the photo shoots and the meetings, everything is so fun.

The music and us laughing and sharing stories. And it's so cool to start a company with just a handful of people to now see it expand into so many employees that I just, you know, interns and all these things that we're doing with the company and giving people opportunities. It's been really fun. Well, and what I find so special about rare is also like the mental health component behind it all. And was that always a part of the plan? Yeah, I tried.

I think for me, I tried to share my story in hopes that it would be something to help others. And I think I did that when I admitted that I had struggled through my bipolar diagnosis. So that was more of a release for me. And then I realized anything that I touch or anything I'm a part of, it has to give back in some sort of element. And that just always has been my key demographic that it's people who don't feel seen or heard or even know what's going on in their own mind. Right. Has it ever been like hard for you to like talk about like, because like talking about mental health is like it's so weird. I feel like sometimes talking about like something other people can't see.

but you feel. Right. Has that ever been, like, weird for you to be, like, this is what's going inside my mind. But I don't have, like, I can't prove it to you. I don't know. I just, sometimes I have the most vivid messed up dreams. And then I think they mean something and they mean the opposite. I don't know.

I don't think I get too deep into it. I just believe in therapy. I'm on medication. And I feel really lucky that I'm in the position that I'm in now. Right. And I believe in all. all of that. Yeah. Do you feel like living like more privately in your 30s has been like nicer than because you've been put in the public eye for so long? For sure. I mean, I still have to deal with

the life of the path I've chosen, which is fine. I think I should never complain about what I have. However, I do try to keep the sacred things private. At the same time, I grew up with so many of my community and my people and I want nothing more than to invite them into certain moments of my life for sure you're just uh you just have to be careful on what you're willing to share and that's the balance I think right yeah because it's like you don't I feel like you kind of grew up and like figured things out in front of everybody yeah that was fun yeah um yeah and I'm gonna continue to But I guess it is a bit different when you have gone through the motions of the teenage years to 20s and to early 30s. By all means, I have nothing figured out.

I just hope that I've just become a little bit more mature in a lot of areas. I think you've always been pretty mature. Thanks, sometimes. Whatever day it is. That's how I feel. Like today, I'm a good 18 years old. Oh, today I'm 10. Oh, today because I'm cramping, I feel like 40.

Caught it. But I'm not mad at it. You're not mad? No, because I feel like, yeah. Yeah. I'm getting older. And you're engaged. Yeah, I am very, very happy.

And are you excited for like wedding and stuff? I am. I couldn't be more excited. It's just there's so much kind of happening in the moment with, with, um, he's working on some projects that he has to wrap up. And we just have things we want to finish, um, and our own personal endeavors before we get into all the nitty gritty. But yeah, I, I, I don't know.

You know, I, I'm, I'm really, I just have never really felt so sure about something. And I also don't want to jinx it by saying that. I feel the same way about things. Are you a superstitious person? A little bit. I don't like to admit it, but a little bit. Because you don't like to admit it because then it's like superstitious. I know.

Yes. Yeah. I'm the same exact way. I like whenever someone's like, oh, whenever I'm like something, I'm feeling anxious or sad and someone's like, but everything's going great for you, I'm like, I can't hear that. That's not what I need to hear. Right. Because that's not what's happening. Yes.

Of course. Absolutely. Oh my God. Well, I wanted to ask you about, because, you know, with. Wizards just rebooted and like seeing all that, what did like that nostalgia feel like for you? Like you know what I mean? Was it like happy, sad, both? No. I think more than anything, it was this zest, this new refreshing take and an older version of Alex who I think ultimately shaped who I am because I feel like I am Alex.

That's so weird. I feel like I should talk to my therapist about that. but I relate to her so much and it's crazy that re, you know, re-stepping into Alex has been a pleasure. And I'm so excited because season two is about to premiere and we find out some really fun things. I don't know how to explain it. I know it's, you know, me living in a nostalgic period, but at the same time, I loved doing that. There is no Disney Channel anymore.

It's just, you know, my sister or like my friends. Sometimes that was all we wanted to watch. Right. It just was comforting. Did you ever watch other Disney shows in addition to yours? Absolutely. It was even Stevens. Lizzie McGuire.

That's a Raven, Sweet Life. Of course, I knew every Hannah Montana song. I was all in. I am a certified Disney kid. So I, I, do you ever try to explain to your like little sister? or does she like sometimes not understand what the Disney Channel was? Yes and no. She's so aware of like, no, I'm just going to say now.

Because now there's platforms and there's these things. So to her, the world is endless. Right. Where as before, for me, I would get home from school and I'd put on the Disney Channel and 397 on Dish Network. It was something that I would always just go back to. And that was the reliable source. But you can find anything anywhere. And she's so just adventurous.

So she likes, she's seen the show, but she's not interested in anything I'm doing, which is good. Does she understand how iconic the show is? Yeah. No. I will say I'm very happy. My sister's just, she's really, she's a very incredible 12-year-old. She's super unfazed by what I feel. feel like maybe other people would feel.

She's not affected by any part of my life. She is a different last name. She's her own person. And I really love that. And she will come visit me on set and she'll stay for a good 20 minutes and then say, all right, I'm good. You know, it's a very endearing and honest relationship. Even though she's 12, she's taught me so much.

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And on set, so only murders in the building, which is awesome. Thank you. It's so awesome. Do you, when you signed on to do that and you started doing that, did it feel like this full circle moment kind of from wizards to only murders? Because like you're on another kind of similar, not similar vibe, but like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

The humor and the texture is kind of similar. So I get what you're saying. And I think that's accurate. I don't, I didn't plan for any of this to happen. It was an amazing opportunity that was presented to me. I'm obsessed with escape rooms. I will do so many fun, like different horror ones. And I've gotten hazered in one of them.

No, you haven't. Yes, because I was so excited. And they were like, you got to move. It's like, okay. But I just, it felt something that was organic, get natural for me to step into and to try. And I don't think I really need to hesitate when it's Steve Martin and Martin Short. Of course.

A lot of people can understand the gravity of what those legends have done for comedy. And at the same time, I get introduced to their fans and my fans, you know, I hope to introduce them to their work because it's, they're brilliant. Right. Have they taught you anything and have you, and vice versa, have you, like, you taught them? Anything about like the industry and just like life? It's, you know, it's funny. They ask me questions about how the industry feels now. But it's mainly me wanting to know about their lives.

And I think the one thing I've learned is just genuinely feeling like you belong. You know, they all the things that we worry about when you do get older, you get to the point where it's just sit back and spread that with other people. I don't know if that makes sense because Steve and Mertie have been friends for 35 years. And they've been best friends. They've had, you know, tiffs and things, but not really because they just understand each other. And then they bring that attitude to set. They are so happy.

They're polite. They love people. They're always connecting with our crew, and it feels like a big family. So I've learned a lot about etiquette, about humor, about timing, and just overall being a professional that has fun. Right. And that's what they do. Yeah. That's awesome.

Oh. Oh, my gosh. I love you. Delivery. Ah! Let me just put it to the side. I love it. Okay.

When you, so you watch Disney, obviously, as a kid, when you booked. Wizards, were you like, okay, well, this just must be the best day in my life. Yes, but it was actually a weird thing because I was on three pilots for the Disney Channel. One was the spinoff of Lucy McGuire. One was the spinoff of the Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, and the last one was Wizards. So by then, all of them didn't get picked up, and I was just kind of at my wits end. But not in a bad way. Just thought, okay, well, this isn't going to work out.

out. Right. And wizards got picked up and my whole life changed after that. It was, it was an immediate feeling of, oh, I achieved my dream at that point and time. I was such a huge fan of the channel. I was a huge fan of what they did for our generation. And it was an honor. Like, I wear it proudly.

I definitely am not ashamed of being. part of the Disney high school experience. I mean, that was your high school. Oh, yeah. And that's crazy. I was thinking about that this morning. I was like, that was her, that like my high school was her Disney channel.

Yeah. No, it was. It was all of us, you know. We were all, you know, from the Jonas brothers to Miley and Demi. And then it was Zendaya. It's just so cool to see all the people you so. went to school with, if you will, it's, it's good to see them all do their thing. It's like different grades.

Yeah. That's crazy. But was it like you didn't know anything else? You were like, this is awesome. I just remember my mom being on my ass all the time about making sure that any sort of sudden exaggerated, like fan moment is meant to be treated with respect. So from the very beginning of booking wizards, I just tried my hardest, and I think I tried too hard to make sure everyone else was happy. But it was okay.

I just, I loved making kids laugh because why is that not the best feeling in the whole world? And that was life giving to me, and she would always keep me super balanced. So I don't think it ever went anywhere other than the fact that I feel lucky that I get to be here and do this. Right. And then you obviously started with your singing career, Selena Gomez in the scene. And was that something you were like really passionate about early on? Yes.

I remember I thought I'd be paramour. Huh. Loved. I mean, who I've everything. Everything about them. And I thought it would be cool to have a band. And it was great. I really was experimenting.

I think it's safe to say that I, still experiment with music. I don't like to feel stagnant or to feel like I'm kind of in this repetitive nature of the same music I make. I do like to come at it with a fresh take. And music was always a part of, I mean, my first job was Barney. It was singing, dancing, and acting. Right. The worst acting and the worst singing and dancing, but it was also really fun and for children. So I loved it and I had the best time. So it's safe to say I was raised on these really colorful sets that brightened my life in a lot of ways. That's awesome.

Yeah. Do you have the favorite Selena Gomez and the scene song? I guess technically who says? Seriously? Greatest. That's the scene. No? I know.

I went the other day. So I was like, I can't find it on your profile. And I was like, yeah, it should be there. I sang it. And she, my friend Ashley looked at it and she goes, oh, it's under the scene. And I didn't realize that that was the case. But, I mean, if you were to ask me, that is hands down my favorite. I mean, those opening chords, you know what's about to happen.

Shit's about to go down. It's so, it's the most, like, powerful moment. when I get to perform it. That's honestly the only reason I would ever do a tour again. To perform who says. If I could perform who says like 17 times. Yeah. It's such a high and it makes me feel good and I want other people to feel good.

It's just I'll never forget what that message and that song means, you know? It's crazy because like as a kid I hear the song and I'm like, this is like a banger. But then like I was listening to it today in the shower because I was like, I was like, I have, you know, I have like a date later and I was like feeling like insecure. Well, it's like how I can't tell if it's a date or not. Oh, okay. It's one of those. It's why.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, well, are we going on a date or what's the vibe here? But I was like, I put on who says. And I really listened. And I was like, and yeah. It kind of cuts deep. It does cut deep.

It's like the older I get, the harder it hits. I'm not even going to like, I'm just going to embarrass myself. One time it came on. in the radio about like three years ago somewhere overseas. And I remember just sitting there looking out the window and I started tearing up. And I was like, why the fuck am I tearing up to my own song? But it was because it was the little me who was there saying these really powerful messages that I still need to hear. What is that feeling like where it's like you are saying, like little you is saying what you need to hear today?

Is that like a weird feeling? That's a very weird feeling. Right. Considering back then I loved the song simply because I thought everyone could relate to this. Right. But then when I got older, I still so appreciate that song because I relate to it in a totally different manner. You know, it wasn't necessarily body issues and like, you know, standards of society back then. but now when you hear those words, they mean a lot more.

So I get really excited and, yeah, I haven't toured. But every time I do a tour, I have to take it down an octave from each year I sing it because it's up here. It is a high song. I know. I need to redo it. I should recut it. If you recut who says today. Should I?

My world would shake. Maybe I should. Selena, my world would shake. Because I really sound. Young. Well, do you know how beautiful it would be to, like, have you having so much of, like, realized everything? Sold. Like, yes, like, you have to.

I'm so going to do that. It would seriously change my life. Okay, well, we'll think about it. We'll see what happens. Well, how is, okay, so you were brought up tour. Do you like touring? I think touring is very bittersweet for me. Only because when you are in a band or.

maybe have a lot of friends with you, it can be easier. But there became a point on tour for me where I noticed that every single person around me I was paying. So all the nice things and experiences sometimes felt very transactional. And I thrive off connection. I feel like connecting to any person on anything from me loving her shoes to, like, like asking about like where you got the card again. It's all about connecting with people.

And I think that's something that was lacking for a bit. And that is for me something I can safely rely on is just knowing that I can get back to the, those moments. And touring is very lonely. Right. And it's like the whole day I feel like of everyone around you revolves around making sure you get on that stage. Yeah. So how do you know what anyone?

is saying to is what they mean because they at the end of day they just want you to get on the stage they just have to be there it's very hard because i care about people too so when i extend my love it's it's genuine it's just sometimes it's not given to the right people so i wonder if maybe there's a new way of touring that i could do because you know when people ask me i usually say know but I'm sure there's a way that I could do it because the greatest gift is being able to share your music with all of those people in the room with you and that's that's all I that's the high you want that's what you want to do but that's 90 minutes versus hours in a bus and a hotel and all of that well Torin's also so hard on the body they're just like you're not sleeping and the

travel. Did you sleep well on the, do you bust, I assume for some of it? I did. It's hard, right? You can't sleep on that bus. No, I don't really sleep well in general. But yes, back then I had the adrenaline rush of a show and I would come off and I would be ready to stay up till four in the morning.

Right. Doing nothing, mind you. It was just the fact that my adrenaline was like pumping through me. Right. Well, I hope one day I can hear who says we recorded. You too. I do want to ask you about the new fragrances. Oh, yay.

We have to talk about them. Tell me a little bit about it. The bottle is so cool. Thank you. Okay. So before we get all PR Modi, the reason why I was excited to release a fragrance was simply based on the fact that I had the greatest two years of my life.

And I spent about two to three years finding the scent. But this was the scent. that we ended up landing on after, you know, years of debating. And when I would wear it, because I secretly wore it every day, you know, I got to meet the love of my life, and I got engaged, and my album came out, and The Only Murders was, you know, coming back in, and rare beauty.

It just felt like such a fruitful moment. for me that I thought, wow, this is kind of what the bottle captures for me. The scent at least. Right. To me. Now, sense are very tricky to do because there's a thousand and they're so good. Right. So it's awesome.

But, okay, I'll start with the little bottle thing. Basically, if you have any sort of arthritic or dexterity issues, we wanted to make all of our products easy to use. So as I'm using one hand, that is. to lock it, that's to spray it, and then I can just use one hand to do that. Ooh. Oh, okay. Let's do a little, because we'll get a little bit. Let it air, and it kind of soaks in.

It's this caramel, vanilla melts down to sandalwood kind of taste. Oh, oh, it's like, yeah. I'm always like taste. I like flavors. So basically the bottle we modeled it after people who, who, it maybe only can or have access for two or they can even use, you know, this. It's just, it's all about what we want to do with rare is make our products accessible to absolutely everyone.

So, but, okay, but the most exciting part for me are the layering bombs. Right. That's what I was like, wait, what are those? So these are the layering bombs. Basically, it comes in four different fragrances, and they're supposed to enhance the perfume that I just sprayed on you. So let's say you're. feeling like you want to do a woody.

This might, wait, do you want to like kind of have that smoky taste or do you want like a fresh or a what would be good for like a date tonight, fresh? Oh, fresh. Right? So fresh, this is Bergamon. Uh-huh. So this is what I love to wear when I get out of the shower with a little sprits before I go to bed and I'm like, oh, I just smell like this.

Yeah. But I'll put a little bit on. essentially you take the little caps and put it right here and it's so it's incredibly soft and it you can wear it just as not that strong of a sense no and it's actually just something that kind of enhances the fragrance some of my friends have been using this alone right they'll use the flavors or i always call them flavors and they are flavors and i'm like no they're flavors but um i have the floral which is very rosy and romantic and really fun. The fresh that you have is more of a little awake in.

We have amber that adds more vanilla and it makes it very warm. I'm sorry, this will stop becoming a little less. No, this is, I'm curious. And then Woodsy. I'll let you smell it because I think you might like the scent. I know, that's the one you initially. It's really nice. I don't want to put too much, but it adds that.

You know what it smells like? Skin must. Have you ever stayed at Enamon? Yeah. It smells like an Amon. Oh. I'll take that. That's a very good.

It smells like an Amon. It smells exactly like it. Yeah, I don't know. So the idea for me is that hopefully people can create their own fragrance and they can mix the bombs. They can use just the bomb. They can use the fragrance. The whole idea is meant for me to tell people, this isn't just my scent and like try

different things, maybe layering it with some. other stuff will feel good to you. Just stick about customizing it to the person as opposed to saying this is the fragrance and you got to like it or love it. Right, exactly. You can play with it for a bit. So in my purse, I personally use the little to go spray. I don't know if that.

It looks like a tide stick, so I'm going to call it to go. And then I put all of the balms in a little rare beauty bag. It's a clear bag. So I just bring them all and I'm like, what mood am I in? Right. But I swear, we love, like, I've worked so hard on these. I'm so anxious to see what people are going to say. But that's my little spiel.

Well, congratulations. I can't stop smelling my hand. It smells amazing. It makes me happy. It definitely envelops that warm and, you know, comforting feeling. Benny has worn it on a lot of our dates. Really? He likes it.

when we're away he's phrased. This episode of Therapeutus is brought to you by booking.com. Booking dot yeah. Or should I have Matt do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. So you just need to say dot yeah. Or when I say this episode of Therapus is brought to you by booking.com.

You just need to say booking. Yeah. Ready? I just need to do it. You're not even going to ask me. I just have to do it. Can you do it? This episode of Therapus is brought to you by booking.com.

You know he's going to be talking. It's fine, Matt, please. You're messing up his music. Okay. This episode... This... Okay. I'm going to say booking...

Just, yeah. I'm going to say booking dot, and then you say, yeah. Okay, ready? This episode of Therapus is brought to you by booking.com. Booking dot... Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

What are you listening to? Halloween music. All right? Well, it's July, brother. I understand. I understand. Goodbye. Bye.

Booking.com. What can I, you know, there are just, it is the number one place to book a vacation. And I just got home from tour. I'm exhausted. I don't think I want to travel, but I want to do a staycation. And I am going to use booking.com to book it. it is the easiest site to like maneuver and go around when you're booking a hotel, especially for like a large group of people,

because you can put in all the requirements, like if you want it to be walkable, if you want a terrace, if you want a tub, if you want a shower, you can book vacation rentals on it, you can book cars on it. Like you can really create a full vacation on it. It is just the easiest site. Like as you guys know on tour, we'd literally pull up to a city without anywhere booked and Matt would be like, it's fine, it's fine. And then he'd go on booking.com and we'd have a place that suited all of our needs

within literal like seconds. It's the easiest thing in the world. It makes staying somewhere else so much easier. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! Thank you, Seekek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. Seekek is the best place to get tickets for live events. And as you guys know, I think live events are like the literal backbone of our society.

I think it's the only thing keeping us together right now. I always say this, but I missed it so much during COVID. I had like these feelings of like, I didn't go to enough live events. Like now they're all gone. And like to have them back feels, I feel so grateful to have them back. And Seekek really makes it so easy to go to them. I do have a code therapist 10 for 10% off your purchase. If you do want to buy tickets.

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I met when I was 16 because we were going to possibly work together. But I didn't start releasing music till 1718 and officially. So we, we saw each other around. It was nice. And then, I don't know. I feel like he was just an acquaintance, if that makes sense. And to be honest, I wasn't like besties. I just thought he was nice. Right. And then we did a few songs together, same old love, which was awesome. We did a great time. time had a great time nothing really there and then i can't get enough which was with tiny and j balvin didn't get it there either i just thought he was funny i was just like this guy's so funny but i didn't think anything of right also i was so not you know when you realize you're not in that place anymore

you need to be where you are it's all about timing to meet that person because even if i did think, oh, let's take this a step further then. It wouldn't have worked. It just simply, you have to be there mentally in order to move forward in something healthily. Right. And then we reunited for single soon. I fucking love that song.

Oh, thank you. It wasn't our favorite. I really fucking love that song. Thank you. I love the music video. I love the whole. aesthetic. It was such, it is such a banger. It was really fun. Just, just, just because I can say this, because I'm marrying him, just really wasn't what I thought I wanted. Yeah. So he came in and he agrees,

you know, on a lot of levels, but he, um, he just, he just came in. And, and I was like, oh, Benny and hi, Benny. And we spoke for two hours and I, um, asked, him to hook me up with anybody that he knew that was cute and he was like oh we do these things like dinner nights you should come and then next thing you know or we're dating but he was terrified in the beginning because he's like it's work and it's company and people are going to get mad and I'm like I don't give a shit kiss me yeah is it like was it like was it hard like hearing like always with like outside noise. Like I like you know because there's so much outside noise like in your personal life

in your professional career there's everyone has something to say about everything. Yeah. And it's how do you find how do you tune that out and like continue doing what you love? Because it's not real. When you realize it's not real we live in this monoculture right now where these people and a generation, a certain generation will read something and take that as truth instantly. Because I could leave here right now and. say, Shane was a jerk.

Right. Everyone will believe me if I said that. Right. Is that a fact? No, because you're not a jerk. Thank you. But people 1,000% want to believe the first thing they see because they've got it figured out. They know what it is.

And then you can't sway them to believe anything else. Right. So they're all believing different things. Right. So once you realize that it's, it's all just a lot. lie. And if you wanted to know more in depth about things, that's kind of weird because you should focus on your own life, in my opinion.

I just don't really look at social stuff that way anymore. I just think it's crazy. There's too many options, and I can't convince everyone to hear my side and believe my side. It's just useless. I know what's being said, but I'm very much okay with who I am, and I don't need I don't need to validate every rumor, every lie, everything. It'll be new next week about something else. And was that like hard to deal with as a kid?

Yes. I don't think it's fair to do that to someone, especially even in their early 20s. Right. That's why there's the whole thing about child stars and it's like scary and there's all the, because you don't let the people live their life. You don't let them become adults in a way. that's exciting or healthy or inviting. Right.

They're just nailing down every wrong thing when you're just figuring out life. Well, like your 20s? Like when I'm like, like, like when I was a kid and I would see people like you and whoever being in their 20s, I'd be like, oh, well, they're 20. You know they have it all figured out. But like as a 25 year old now, I'm like, I'm so messy. Then I'm like, oh my God. Like, how could I have ever thought that these people would have ever had it

figured out. And I feel like a lot of people maybe in my generation are like coming around and realizing like, oh my God, like, how did we even expect these people to have anything figured out? Well, I hope that's what people feel because I feel that way about even working on Wizards with the young actors now, you know, I look at them and I think, okay, well, make sure you go and be a kid and do the things you want to do. I believe anyone can follow their dream at any age. But making sure that you have a balance of normality and stability is so crucial to growing up. And whether that was given to me in certain times or not, I just, I just, I was stopped trying to impress people. It just, it's not, it's not that I was grandiose and saying, here are my accomplishments.

It's more that I, I would try to be nice. and the idea of politeness has suddenly become, you know, false and not appealing anymore. And it's just, it's mistaken as not being real. But I don't think I'm going to change you. I'm like, I'll just talk the way I talk. I'm grateful for what I have. And I mean, that's their choice to waste their energy on that. And how is it like, because you said, you know, you like thrive off of like connection and stuff,

is it, was it hard to like build real connections in this industry? Sure. I got burned a few times, a couple times. You definitely learn as you go. I like to believe in the good in people. I really like to just forgive and forgive and forgive. and forgive and, you know, it got to a point where some things you can forgive and move on from. Right.

But it's not something you should perpetually let happen to you in your life. Right. And so I think that that was everything from friendships to people that I felt like I needed to be more than I was able to be. It was very transactional. People would do something nice for me and then all of a sudden flip it on me. and expect something and I would be happy to extend anything. It's just when it's being told to me, there's all these things.

It's weird, you know. It's just like you don't know who is around you to be around you. So I have, that's why there, that's why there were 20 people at my birthday. Because the 200 people that came to my 30th are no longer. They're segregated properly. Yes. Well, I'm sorry you went through that, but congratulations. Oh, I think it's a part of life, right?

We all have to figure out who we love and trust. And they say if you can count, you know, in one hand, how many friends you have, you're already lucky. Right? That's what I think, too. I feel like I used to have like a million people and then like dwindled down and it feels good. It actually feels safer, more authentic in my eyes. Because as Taylor says, a friend to all is a friend to none. Yes, she does.

I love that song. Same. How did you guys meet? Oh, Taylor and I dated the Jonas Brothers. We dated, I dated Nick and she dated Joe. And everything's like, you know, that's cute. We were like young. We all know and love each other now.

so cute. We didn't know what we were doing. But yeah, she, she and I like to say the best thing we got out of those relationships was each other. Right. Because it was really sweet. I was about 15. She was about 18. And that's when it was the crazy curly Taylor and she had all these bracelets that went all the way up. And I believe Love Story was the first song. she had ever played me and it wasn't released yet. No. Yeah, I was in a hotel room and I remember it vividly and it was just like, it was one of those songs I instantly heard and thought this is one of the most beautiful

songs ever. So at that age, we became best friends bonded over the breakup as girls do and then we, I don't know, then we just stuck around for all the ups and downs that came after and here we are now 16 years later wow yeah I can't believe you heard love story before it was released I know it was so sweet she was like okay I just gonna play this song but just like you know you don't I don't know it's gonna be the first single I think

I think and just hearing her say those little thoughts and then listening to it you're yeah it's she is a chameleon she's incredible wow wow that's awesome sorry I love it makes me happy. Well, this is my favorite question to ask. What are you, like, watching? What are you listening to right now? Okay. Let's see. All right. So because my birthday was very disco-y themed, and even though no one really dressed that way, but like me, it was all Gloria Estefan. And then I have, like, I will suburb Diana Ross. I love all of the older music when I'm feeling like I don't want to be connected to the pop culture.

Right. That always makes me happy. Like, I'm thinking of how music was, you know, listening to, ain't no man. It's like those things make me take me back to a simpler time. Now, it doesn't mean I'm not all about Travis's album. Obviously, I'm obsessed with Sabrina and I'm dying. I'm like, can I just get like a little preview of the album because I love her music?

So I was like, I just want a little preview. And so it's really fun to see what people are doing. And I'm really happy that music is thriving. But sometimes it is nice to check out. And it can be from Patti Klein to Boys to Men. Right. It's all in between I will listen to. Right.

Oh, and then watching. Well, I just finished the movie Friendship, which was with Paul Rudd. He's, I forget. get the lead. Do you remember? Tim Robinson. Tim Roth. He was fantastic.

I loved that movie. So that was one of, I just watched that last night. I've been, I watched Jurassic Park. The new one? Yeah. I'm sorry. I love dinosaurs and I was crying the whole time. You were crying?

Yes, I was. And then as far as anything else, we watch shrink. We like the casualty. like sitcoms here and there like curb your enthusiasm well that's not sitcom um kind of kind of yeah um it just kind of it rotates but we're big

movie people so I think for me TV shows are hard sometimes because if there is 10 episodes I'm locked in if for some reason if it's like 20 and they're all one hour or something gets too much I'm I can't I'm so

So do do all over the place. I'm like, I'm so the opposite. I'm so bad with movies. Because I like want to check into a world and like be in. Exist. Yes. Like I just finished my show after like a month of like being so in the world. And I'm like I've never felt so lost.

You know what? I did that with sex in the city. I was like, this is how my 20s are going to be. But I was watching it. I was like, yeah, this is my life. I'm going to embody it. And then, you know, I went into one designer store and bought something and thought, I am never wearing this again.

So quickly, just switched over from that dream. Do you prefer 30s to 20s so far? Absolutely. Yes. I'm sure a bunch of people, you know, I don't know. Either would say that or say the opposite. I'm not sure. It depends on the cards you were dealt, right?

I wonder what it would be like if my 20s look differently. But I can't spend my time doing that. All I know is that it's better now. And I am really, really happy that it's in a stable and a comfortable and peaceful place. That's awesome. Makes me, like, hopeful. What do you mean? What's going on with you?

What do you mean? Oh, do you really want to know? Yes. I don't know. I'm just like in the weirdest headspace, honestly. Like, you're all over the place or you're like, professionally love life whatever like the whole to do i feel like i'm so just uncomfortable as a person really yeah i don't know it must be that 20 20 thing but then it's like i feel like i've i've felt

i've always felt this way and then i'll like look at old videos like i got sent an old video of myself today and i was like oh my god i would have how was i so upset in that body that i had back then. I was like how, but then I think like today, I'm going to feel this way about how I look right now in five years. So that's how, that's what I'm dealing with right now. Yes, but I think you need to give yourself more credit because the most important thing that I've ever learned when it comes to me beating myself down, which I'm very good at, and just saying these negative things to myself, you already have a purpose and you're doing it. are living it with people that you care about.

About being uncomfortable with your skin, I still feel that way. But I think you get more like casual. I think it just happens when you say this is exactly who I am. Okay, perfect example. Let's talk. My friend who got out of a two-year relationship, she just meant a new guy after a year and a half

that she's interested in. And I love that. I'm so happy for her, but I was telling her, like, take one step at a time. So she's been having a wonderful time, like, talking to this person. I'm really happy for her. But when she says what she would respond to me, I laugh. And I say, what are you doing? Like, say that to him.

She's like, no, I'm embarrassed. I'm like, no, that's the part of you. That's going to hook him. Like, you're funny when you make fun of yourself or if you want to. to go somewhere that you don't know how to golf or how to do something. Right. So boring. But like something different.

So boring. It's like be bad at it. Right. And have fun with that. I think that's when I feel real freedom sets in is when you're just kind of like, it's like, say all that. Because she's tried to politely type in things. I'm like, boys, no.

Right. Just get to the point and be like, I suck at this, but I think we'd have a blast doing it. I think I want to bring that to my date tonight. You should. That's the energy I'm going to bring to my date. Because in reality, you are such a catch and the same might be for this guy, but like nobody's better and nobody's worse. Right. I just want you to have fun.

Just have fun. I'm going to have fun. Yes, and be yourself. Yeah. This is the best day of my life, I think. I'm like, we'll just pregame before your thing. Yeah, please. You up.

Are you having fun? Now? I'm having a blast. Okay, cool. Cool. Yeah. Do you mind if we get into the tell me what's wrongs? Yeah.

These are basically the pussies right in and they tell us what's wrong and we give them advice. Okay. Basically, my mom came to visit me in college for the weekend. So I stayed at a hotel with her for a few days. When I got back to the dorm, when I got back to my dorm by the end of the weekend, my roommate was asleep in her bed with her boyfriend and a gross random guy was half-naked sleeping in my bed. in my bed right next to them. The room was a disaster.

It smelled bad. And the first thing they told me was, I swear it wasn't a threesome. I went silent and just walked out and cried because I didn't know what to say. What do I do? I actually wasn't expecting that, to be honest with you. I haven't read these before.

I haven't read these before. Whoa. Okay. Let's see. Well, I genuinely am thinking, like, thinking about this. I would first say, sorry, you didn't have the threesome.

Second, please wash my sheets and everything in this area. I would really appreciate that, considering there's a naked man in my bed. And then I'm going to go buy some candles, and I'm going to get some febreeze, and we're going to figure out how to make this situation a little bit better, and we can both clean up together. How is that for a deal?

no more naked guys. Let's do this. Right. I don't know if that works. It's honest communication. It's either that or genuinely going, I'm not going to do this. You have to pay for this and please clean up. Right.

But I'm always like, let's meet in the middle. Right. Have you ever had a roommate before? I have. When I would go away for, you know, myself and other things that were happening, I lived with roommates. But also in my entire 20s, my three, girlfriends basically lived with me. Right.

They were with me constantly every day and gosh, we used to spend two hours getting ready to go out for like 30 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we're over it. You know, it just, it was such a period in my life that I'll cherish and, yeah, that was a good two years of my life living with my girlfriends. Isn't that awesome that people, when they're,

get ready to go out with their girlfriends now or using your products. Yeah. Isn't that cool? That's such a weird thing to think about, but that's really sweet. I didn't think about that. Well, I hope so. I mean, that is. My roommates do every night.

It's really sweet. No, it's so surreal. Honestly, when anyone says anything about the brand, it makes me so happy. Because it's, I don't know if I should be concerned or proud, but the most compliments I've received is from the creation. of rare. Be proud. I'm proud, but I'm also like, I've done a few other things. I hope I better at other things too. You're excellent. Like what has been outside of like rare like the most fulfilling endeavor? Like acting, touring,

singing. I would have to say genuinely is my community we've created on the Rare Impact Fund and for Rare. Because we have so many initiatives and so many causes that we've been. believe in and it's working. You know, so, so few times things kind of work out that way. And I just want everyone and I want more people to be involved. And I think that's the most fulfilling is the impact fund. The most fulfilling thing also would have to be making products that people love. There's not a better feeling than when someone is religiously using something that you've created. But my proudest and most rewarding thing would have to be being an older sister to Gracie. She's just really cool and she teaches me so much.

So Jake, I got my heartbroken bad and now I'm in my evil phase and manipulating every man. How do I get out of this stage or should I stay in it? Interesting. Flirting and manipulation can be very confusing. Tell me more. I believe that there is such a fun way to flirt with guys without giving them the green light. That's usually when they come back for more. But there's the other case where it's like, oh, all I see is a toxic woman and I'm not going to get near that.

So you have to balance it well because who are you choosing and what do you think would turn them off? Right. Is this person someone worthwhile that you really care about? Probably not the best to be manipulative. Now, flirt hardcore. Give them all the green signs, but just wait, and then you'll see what happens, see how much you're worth it. Right.

And then the other case is if she's living her life and she is happy where she is right now, more power too. It's not like guys don't do the same thing. They do. Right? Yeah. Do you believe in like ghosting people or no?

No, I think that for me I have in the past because I'm not good with confrontation. But I'm also equally, but I just learned this. I'm not kidding. Probably like a year or two ago where I was able to comfortably say in a nice way, this is not serving me in any good way. I just need this to be over. So I would keep these people kind of close by, and that wasn't really fair to either one of us. So I've definitely done it, and it's an escape route because you don't want, it's also the other person, though.

It's like if I have a conversation with a emotionally intelligent person, I feel like we will understand each other. but when I'm talking to someone who's very reactive and the love is conditional and not unconditional, it's very you know, need, need, need, take, take, take. That's when it feels really yucky

and that's when I have to say I can't do this anymore. Right. Yeah, I think maybe we've, right, we've all had to have ghosted. I literally ghosted someone last week. Sorry. There's nothing.

I just couldn't. There was nothing I could do. Like I was like, you know, we're not deep in enough where I tell you it's over and we're not out enough where it's not awkward. It never works for you. Thank you. I needed to hear that. Oh, I dropped my roommate's dog and everything seemed okay. So I didn't say anything.

But now he has been limping and my roommate is so confused. And I don't know how to come clean because I didn't tell her what happened. Or do I even come clean? Oh, please, please maybe do. I care about animals, sometimes more than people. Yeah. So I would just say maybe you go, I'll just, I'll get the dog checked for you. Yeah.

And then you go in, maybe you'll feel less guilty or more guilty for what you've done. But maybe just show a supporting hand first and then you can admit it later. It's like when you open a door in someone's house and the doorknob falls off. Yeah. And you're like, uh. You're like, and I didn't mean to do this. My friend told me, oh, speaking of ghosting, my friend told me she got ghosted after sending a guy a two-minute voice note. I listened to it.

I would have ghosted too. She was full on planning their wedding after one night out at a bar. Is there a fun, girly way to bring this up to her? For sure. First of all, you have to, you have to know to make fun of yourself. Right. You know, you have to learn to laugh at the stupidity. that is our anxious bodies and minds.

So sometimes it just is not rational. So I would say, wait, what was the question again? It was like, um... Like, I just don't know how they word them. They, yeah. Your friend? She got ghosted.

Well, she was like basically like, I would have ghosted my friend too and I don't know how to tell her what she did was wrong. I love taking the piss out of people. Right. That's the fun. I would literally, I mean, honestly, I would say to my girlfriend, I would listen to it. And I, this actually happened not too long ago.

My friend was waiting. We told her, wait three days. I know the rules are stupid. But I said, just wait three days. This guy has a lot going on. You have a lot going on. Focus on you. And then play it out.

And she sent the worst text in the middle of the night because she was lonely and she was thinking and she was saying it. She sent it to me, and I literally just called her, and I just, I looked at her and I said, no. I was like, please. And she's like, really? I'm like, yeah, I was like, you're so much cooler than that girl. Like, let them want you a bit, you know? I think for girls, you've got to, at least with your girls, you got to be like, huh, babe, that was not the move. That was not it.

Right. And then make it something that is enjoyable to laugh at. And then help her. I also love, like, I feel like my biggest thing is I always make fun of myself. It's like the only way. Yeah, but I love that. It's the only way to go about life. I agree.

I can't take myself too seriously. It's exhausting. Right. Have you ever seen the show, uh, girls? Yeah, of course. Like my favorite show of all time. Really? Yeah, that and Hannah, Lena Dunham says something so smart about, like, making fun of

yourself. It's what I always think about. Which, what does she say? She's like, anything you could say about me. I've already said it. Like, and I'll always. always think about it. I love that.

Do you, did you finish that show? I didn't finish it because again, I'm horrible at shows. Right. I'm like in it and then when I'm waiting for something else, I'm like, what? Right. That happened. It's really good. I love Lena.

I think she's brilliant. I think everything from her essays to everything that she does is just gold. Before I ask you our final question, I have, I need to ask you. Did you ever read like J-14 and like... J-14, Tiggerbee. Yes. All those people. Those are my peeps.

They're the beginning of the end. Of course I did. My nana, my sweet nana would... I think she still does. Have like a bunch of them saved. It's just so silly. Like it's very sweet. But yes, so I have some J-14, Taggerbeats.

I've... Got all the posters that I loved. That was my thing for sure. Did that exist before like Wizards and Hannah and all that stuff? Or did it start with you guys? I think it started because I remember I'd go to the store and I would get the magazine before I had ever had anything picked up. Because I was dying to know what Hannah Montana's shampoo secret was. And all the quizzes.

And all the quizzes. Oh, I believed those quizzes to the end of me. like, all right, this is going to determine on whether I live a happy life or not. Right? And they would have like mash and stuff. It was so fun. Was it weird when you started then going to the store and like being like, seeing you on the cover? I don't really care.

Right. I just feel like now it's different, you know. Everything's so digital and I hate to sound and bring it down. But it's everything is this now. Right. So I have books that I buy because I believe. leave in the power of holding something tangible. But it's so quick and everything's so vast that you're just,

you can see all the pictures in that magazine in five seconds and read the article. It's crazy. It's wild. Isn't it crazy to see like people, like your little sister who don't know anything else? Right. Yes. It's actually kind of scary because it's just too,

it's too much of, too much information to be given to someone at the age of 12. It just doesn't make sense because we weren't inundated with that much information. The only way I could get to Jesse McCartney was if I went online dial up and I put in my little floppy disk and I'd save the pictures on the folder so I could print them out of my printer and put it in my locker. That was all the extent to Jesse McCartney I could get. Now? Let me DM. DM right now.

It's just too crazy. There's too, there's too, it's dangerous is all I'm trying to say. I love it. I love being able to connect with my fans. I have fun with it. It's just all about balance, I think. Well, Selena, what did we learn today? Oh, this is so sad.

Wait, I don't want it to end either. Like, I'm happy. with keeping it going. It's so cute, though. Like, you're, I'm so glad you're having a good time. Oh, my God, yes. I just, I, because, you know, this is what it always happens. It's always nice to do something in someone's comfort zone and their home and you can

just be who you want to be. And I hope you carry that tonight because whatever this thing is, we're not know if it's a date or not. It's unclear. Unclear. Have the best time. And say all the funny things you want to say. I'm going to text Benny to tell you exactly how it goes.

Okay, perfect. Yeah. Because I would love, love, love a check-in. And if you need some responses, we can conjure up a few. I will definitely need a few. Good. Well, what did we learn today? Today, I learned that I've made a new friend.

Stop it. And that you are definitely welcome into the Blanco Gomez family. Stop it. But I will. I don't know. I think this is what I love to do. I actually love being able. I think you're so kind and you're sweet and you're genuine.

And that's all, that's why I did it. That makes you feel better. Because I'm very much like, some can be vicious. Some can be weird and a little sneaky. That's not what we do here. What we talked about is wanting to trust people. So if anything, I had a great time. and I love my little puss University Cup

and I had a blessed. Oh, well, Selena, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Do you want to give a little bye pussies? Bye pussies. Hey, Mama, thanks for making all my favorite recipes. Hi, Ma, thanks for your unfiltered advice. Hi, Mom. Thanks for always being by the phone.

Hey, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. When you ship UPS Air at the UPS store, your items arrive on time or your money back. Guaranteed at no extra cost, exclusively at the UPS store UPS store U.S. retail locations. Visit the UPS store.com slash air shipping for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Send your Mother's Day gifts at the UPS store and we'll get your gratitude there on time.