There Are No Girls on the Internet - Arrested for making TikToks? Yup. It happened to Coco Briscoe

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Former comedian Coco Briscoe started chronicling her search for love on TikTok with her popular series Dating DC. It led to her arrest.    The Washington Post- “She started sharing her dating life on TikTok. She ended up in jail:” https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/legal-issues/coco-briscoe-arlington-tiktok-bartenders/2021/08/14/602f747e-f93c-11eb-943a-c5cf30d50e6a_story.html   Follow Coco on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cocobriscoe    Want to support the show? (thank you!) Subscribe, tell a friend, leave a review, or buy some merch at There Are No Girls on the Internet’s store: TANGOTI.COM/STORE Join our newsletter: Tangoti.com/newsletter Just want to say hello / god dag / Բարեւ Ձեզ ?  We'd love to hear from you! [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.

Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting. Think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than ads supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster, IHeart's twice as large as the next two combined. Learn how podcasting can help your business.

Call 844-844-I-Hart. If you're watching the latest season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down. Portia accusing Kelly of sleeping with a merry man. They holding Kay Michelle back from fighting Drew. Pinky has financial issues. On the podcast, Reality with the King, I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real House Wise franchise,

the drama, the alliances, M&T, everybody's talking about. To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the King on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Why are we all so obsessed with romance? On the Radio 831 podcast, join us. Sanjana Basker and Tyler McCall as we unpack all the trending tropes, fuzzy adaptations, book talk drama, and celebrity love stories with hot takes and sharp guests.

Each episode digs into what these stories reveal about desire, fantasy, identity, and how we love now. Listen to the Radio 831 podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How do you think it came that you were arrested for something that seemed so patently incongruous with our constitutional rights to free speech? Well, I'll tell you, corrupt police. Corrupt police trying to protect one of their buddies's girlfriends. And I think that they thought it would just scare me. There are No Girls on the Internet as a production of IHeart Radio and UnBossed Creative. I'm Bridget Todd, and this is There Are No Girls on the Internet.

People talk a lot about threats to free speech without mentioning the reality that the people who are most likely to face consequences for the things they say online are people who are already marginalized. And Cocoa Briscoe, a former comedian living in Arlington, Virginia, who was arrested last year for making TikToks is a great example of what I mean. Hi, I'm Cocoa Briscoe and I'm a TikToker. The story of Coco's arrest starts out in a pretty unlikely place, the search for love. Coco was new to the city and was going on a lot of dates. So she started chronicling them in a TikTok series called D.C. I live in D.C. I live in Columbia Heights. I'm not single now, but when I was single, I remember what a, I don't know,

a particular place dating in D.C. is. And so I really appreciated your content because I was like, oh, yeah, dating in D.C. can be kind of a hellscape. And so watching your content, I really felt for you. I mean, not all of your dates were bad, but I really felt like what it was like to be dating and be like, oh, God, am I ever going to find the one? So I always appreciated your content. Thank you so much. So I was watching your saga, and I know that you've probably gotten quite good at describing what happened in 60 seconds, but you were, you know, someone who just made these lighthearted TikToks about your dating life, finding love in D.C. And that actually resulted in you being arrested for making TikToks.

Can you tell us what happened? Yes. So you're right. My series was just about dating. It was very lighthearted. It was about online dating and going on my dates and just about my dating adventures. I used to be a stand-up comedian. And so when I talk about my dates, I do have a sense of humor behind it. I don't take dating super seriously, although I am truly looking for a relationship. I'm looking for love. So I started doing it with no expectation that anyone was even going to watch it. I thought it was just going to be my friends and family and maybe some random people in the internet. And it, it grew pretty quickly, but it was really fun in the beginning because I felt like I had kind of

like a cult following. Like it was like a very specific type of person. And I felt that my audience really related to me. I felt like they were close in my age range. I felt like they understood the struggle. And so it felt like just talking to my friends. I was just coming on talking to my friends about my dating life. And so, as you know, you said you did quite a bit of dating before you got into your relationships. You know, the hell on earth it can be. And it gets expensive. You know, I mean, a lot of times men are gentlemen and offer to pay. But also, there's a lot involved in, you know, buying new outfits or Ubering to and from a different neighborhood, D.C. and the surrounding areas, it's a big area. So I was spending a lot of money on cab fare and stuff. So I decided.

to start going to local places. I also thought it would be a good opportunity to support local businesses in my neighborhood, as well as keeping me safe because dating can be sketchy. Luckily, I hadn't had any super sketchy dating experiences, but it could happen. And so I thought, if I go to local places, then they'll recognize me and they'll know what I'm doing, that I'm on a date, they'll see me going on dates. And so if anything weird ever happened, this is just a familiar place to me. And it was all great. That was working out really great because I was going to places walking distance from my house. And all of a sudden, things started getting very weird in my neighborhood. I am new to this area. I didn't know many people. I hadn't really, no one had really befriended me

locally. But all of a sudden, kind of slowly people started to know who I was. Like knowing my name, and I was, I was feeling like I was getting stared at a lot. I was feeling like a lot of people, were showing up, the same groups of people were showing up everywhere that I was, and I just thought it was a coincidence. It was weird, but I thought, you know, this is kind of, I'm on Columbia Pike and Arlington. There's four bars. The neighborhood people go to the same four bars. Not that weird. Now, people like me loved following the ups and downs of Coco's dating journeys on TikTok, but some people that she encountered in real life didn't have that same response. Some of them are actually really hostile.

Basically, their response was, who does she think she is? Slowly people started saying things to me. If someone introduced me to someone, they were like, I know who you are, Coco. I've seen your TikTok. And I was like, oh, but it was never in a friendly way. It was always in a, like, yeah, I've seen your TikTok.

I'm like, why are these people watching my TikTok? My TikTok wasn't that popular at the time. It's not like everyone watches my TikTok. Like I said, I had kind of a cold following. And so it just kind of got. slowly got weird and weirder and weirder and weirer. And then finally, uh, someone told me about this group chat that was going on that has about 50 people in my neighborhood who all were kind of local yokel, like this is their territory, I think was their feeling. And who's this girl

coming from California doing this TikTok, going on all these dates, like it was a very much, the energy was who the hell does she think she is? Like that's the kind of energy I was getting from these people. And when I was told about the group chat, I originally thought it was just a bunch of people watching my TikToks and making fun of it. Like, look at this stupid girl. She goes on a lot of dates. Like, what a loser. And I didn't really care. I thought it was really lame and uncool. But then it got scary because I realized that some of the employees of these bars that I was going to were letting this group chat know every time that I was in the bar. Coco's in here, guys. And it was a variation of things that were being said. What a stupid whore. Let's banquish her from Columbia Pike. I'm going to end her.

Who chooses violence tonight? And they kept mentioning the word violence. And I get that that's a figure of speech, right? Like, I choose violence. But the way they were speaking about me, the way they were speaking about my body, the way that the language behind it, and there was so much I didn't share on TikTok, I have multiple screenshots, lots of conversations between these people, which in a way I wish, I hadn't ever found out about it, but I'm glad I did because I think if this behavior had continued, it could have gotten very dangerous. I think that kind of group gang mentality of we all have this common enemy bond can really lead to dangerous situations, especially for women.

Finding out that there was a group of people from her neighborhood in a group chat saying these kinds of things about her understandably made Coco feel unsafe. But then, the conversation was a conversation. turned to tracking her specific whereabouts. One day, a bartender at one of the bars she frequented for dates took a video of Coco riding her bike down the street and posted it in the group chat. Coco had had enough. I was shocked when I saw that one of the bartenders had taken a video of me

riding my bike down the street. I had walked into the bar. I was looking for a friend of mine. I just glanced in. I was like, oh, my friend's not in here. I got on my bicycle and I was on my way. I was writing home. It was late at night and she had taken this video and said a bunch of really disgusting things to these people that call me disgusting names and which by the way I do not know

these people. I have no personal relationship with any of these people. And I was horrified. And so I went to the bar owner. I felt like I had a decent relationship with him. He had always been pretty nice to me. And I had never had any type of, there was never a situation with any of these people or any of these places where there was any type of friction. I was just a paying customer going on my dates, having a drink and some food and leaving. That was the entire thing. And when I went to the bar owner, I was like, oh, he's going to be horrified that his employee did this. Because I would, I would be like, this person is fired.

This is unacceptable. And instead of saying, I'm so sorry that happened to you, Coco, we do not condone this kind of behavior. You've been a great customer. I will handle this. He screamed in my face and said, if you don't feel safe in my bar, then you never have to come back. And I was shocked that that was his reaction. After being made aware of the kinds of conversations happening about her,

Coco filed a police report, and she was actually the first person in the situation to contact law enforcement. But she says it didn't really go anywhere. The police basically blew her off. And after getting such a hostile reaction from the bar manager, she felt like she didn't have a ton of options. So she took to TikTok and used her platform, which had once been about a lighthearted chronicling of her dates.

to talk about what she was experiencing. So I took to social media and I said, this really crazy stuff is going on in my neighborhood. And I don't know what to do about it. I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't say the name of the bars. I didn't say the name of any of these people other than a first name because it was in the screenshot from the chat.

Well, after I made the very first video saying this bartender took a video of me leaving on my way home at night and sent it to a bunch of people that talk about violence against me and call me names and are bullies and stalkers in my opinion, because they follow me around. I was like, this is what's happening and I don't know what to do. This woman filed a protective order against me, preventing me from making TikToks, talking about the situation, even though I didn't even know the woman's last name. I didn't know anything about her, and I didn't say the name of the bar. Four police officers show up at my house with a protective order at

4 a.m. I'm a single woman. I live alone. You need four cops with a protective order. And four a.m. And this is an EPO. This isn't just like, oh, I've been harassing someone for a long period. This is an emergency protective order meant to protect people from immediate danger. So, and I'm just on there making a TikTok going, this is creepy. This creepy thing happened. And this woman felt the need to do what she did. And I truly don't believe it's because she was afraid. I truly believe it's because, and I have screenshots from her saying, ha, ha, ha, Coco's going to get it. I have a police officer boyfriend.

I love this for her. Bragging about it. Bragging about how they were going to end me and they were going to do. So I was like, wow, this is really messed up. Like, really the Arlington police are going to show up in my house and do this. Like, this is ludicrous. And I was like, wait till TikTok, here's about this. And I'd like to say I had already filed a police report about these people.

And I didn't think anything was going to come of it. And it wasn't necessarily to even get anyone in trouble. It was just like, hey, Arlington Police, this group of weirdos is doing this to me. So in case someone decides to unalive me, here's what's going on and here's the people involved in this. And they didn't take it seriously. They didn't investigate. They, in fact, never returned my phone calls.

So the early-10 PD not only didn't care that 50 people had been harassing me and talking about violence against me, didn't give a shit, didn't call me back, but they feel the need to issue a protective order and show up at my house to prevent me from speaking out about people that are doing something really disgusting to me. I was like, wow. And I truly thought it was a joke. I was like, oh my God, once I post this on TikTok, these people are going to leave me the hell alone because the whole world is going to go, what? You can't do that. And of course, TikTok did have the reaction. They're like, what? And then there's a whole slew of women saying, I couldn't get a protective order against a man that was physically abusing me for months, years. And it was just breaking my heart. I was like, this is such a complete abuse of the system. It's disgusting. Let's take a quick break. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting, think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than ads supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster,

IHearts twice as large as the next two combined. So whatever your customers listen to, they'll hear your message. Plus, only IHeart can extend your message to audiences across broadcast radio. Think podcasting can help your business. Think IHeart. Streaming, radio, and podcasting. Call 844-844-I-Hart to get started. That's 844-844-I-Hart. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and your 20s? They can feel like a lot. on the psychology of your 20s podcast, we unpack the anxiety, the overthinking, the heartbreak, the identity crisis, all of it that comes with being in your 20s. Because if you've ever thought, is anybody else feeling this way, they definitely are.

I feel like my 20s was a process of checking off everything that I was not good at to get to what I was good at. Oftentimes we take everything a little bit too seriously and we get lost in the, you know, Things that we later on decide weren't even important to us to begin when. There was a large chunk of my 20s that I was just so wanting to be out of that phase out of my skin. And I just like really regret not living in the present more. Each week we break down the science behind what you're going through and give you real tools to navigate it. Your 20s aren't about having it all figured out.

They're about understanding yourself just a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The story I've told myself about love or relationships can then shape my behavior, and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast deeply well with Debbie Brown and explore the journey of healing, self-discovery, and returning to yourself. We explore higher consciousness, emotional well-being, and the practices that help you find clarity, peace, and self-mastery in a world that can feel overwhelming. The world is becoming lonelier. We're not becoming more social and connected.

We're becoming more individualized, but we actually meet people in connection. If you've been searching for a soft place to land while doing the work to become whole, this podcast is for you to hear more. Listen to deeply well with Debbie Brown from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And we're back. Now up until this point, Coco had not publicly said the names of any of the bars involved. But after being served with a protective order, filed by the bartender who took the video of her riding her bike down the street, barring her from talking about the situation on social media, Coco said fuck it.

And made a TikTok naming the bars. Open up, police! That's when the police showed up at her door again. This time to put her in handcuffs and take her to jail for vows. violating the protective order. So after that, I was like, so these people are not only going to continue to harass me, but the owners of the bars are going to do nothing. The police are going to do nothing.

The police are going to harass me. Well, I'm telling where these bars are because if this is what they do to women, people need to avoid these places. So I said the name of the bars. Then I got another protective order. Again, police show up at my house. I think it was like five in the morning this time. But it was only two cops, but they come banging on my door.

That cock knock. Yeah, just banging at the police. Oh, really? And I'm just sitting in my freaking bathrobe. Like, what? Are you kidding? And I videoed the entire thing. I opened the door.

First of all, I couldn't see through that. Like, when I looked through the people, police don't stand where you can see them. These people were standing on opposite sides of the door. I was like, I cannot see you. How do I know this is the police? How do I know? This could be one of these creepy people from the group chat. I mean, you know, unalive me.

So I put on my camera and I videoed the entire thing. And I was like, what did I do? Like, you're going to have to tell me what I did to deserve a protective order. They were like, we don't know. We don't know. We're just here to serve it. Which is a lie because that officer actually was the one who was monitoring my TikToks. She was with the woman to get her the second restraining order, who, by the way, this woman's boyfriend is an Arlington

and police officer. So these are his buddies doing his dirty work for him. And I was just like, this is ridiculous. I was like, you can't do this to me. This is against my First Amendment rights. I can talk about whatever I want. I have done nothing wrong. And I was like, I don't know, wait around because I'm about to TikTok this. And I was like, you know, are they going to arrest me? I had this like 50, 50. Like, I mean, they could because technically I'm violating this thing. But I was like, really, are they going to, are the Arlington police going to sit there and watch everything I do? And they sure did. And they came back and arrested me. And, uh, they sent five police to arrest a TikToker. Five cops. So, you know, a number of 11 total police that had to deal with me for just making

TikToks. And I'm like, we have too many cops in Arlington. So I'm like, you feel the need to harass me this much, then we got to, we got to do something about this. You all need to be defunded. I don't know, but I'm like, do not make me the criminal when you are not doing anything about the real people who are harassing women. Anyway, that's a very long way to impression. I don't know if you're expecting all of that, but that's basically the gist. And there's so many little nuances. So there were so many like little side stories of people in this group who did approach me in person. and screaming my face and threaten me. Their friends have sent me tons of DMs and created fake accounts to harass me.

I mean, it's nonstop around the clock. And these people were pushing really hard to have me prosecuted for violating these protective orders, which in my first court hearing, the judge said he was just, like, so confused. He was like, how did these even get issue? You cannot get an emergency protective order unless you're in danger. I knew this, which is why in my moment of, you know, about to go to sleep, had wine all night going, come arrest me.

Like, I don't get, I know I was like a maniac and I know half a million people saw that and were like, this girl is insane. I was insane in that moment. I was like, I cannot do this with these people. Like how many times are you going to send cops to my house in the middle of the night, early in the morning? to do this. Like, no, I felt like I was losing my mind, and I probably was. Coco was arrested for violating a protective order,

barring her from speaking about her experiences with the staff at two Virginia bars. But is an order saying that you can't talk about someone on social media constitutional? In an article about Coco's case, the Washington Post spoke to Eugene Volok, a legal scholar at UCLA, who said, an order that says stop talking about this person is unconstitutional, no matter who you are. Yet, Volok, who has been tracking these kinds of orders, says he has identified more than 200 of them. The Post also spoke to Vera Idleham, a staff attorney with the ACLU,

who said, while speech to someone might, in certain circumstances, properly be deemed as harassment if it is unwanted. The same does not hold true for speech about someone, even if it's unwanted. Because think about it, anyone from racist police to corrupt elected officials could use that to stifle legitimate criticism about them. One of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you was exactly that part of this story, right? I'm, I should say I'm no lawyer, I'm no legal expert. But from all the legal experts that I've heard from, including the one in the Washington Post article about your situation, unless somebody is threatening violence or knowingly spreading false information, you cannot tell them that they can't make social media content about a specific person.

right? So like the fact that you were arrested for making TikToks that did not include violent threats or, you know, knowingly, you know, knowingly false information seems to be unconstitutional. And that, that Washington Post piece cites an ACLU attorney and a UCLA legal scholar that say that. And it seems like the courts agreed. First of all, A, how are you not the poster child for the First Amendment and free speech online? And second, how do you think it came that you were arrested for something that seems so patently. incongruous with our constitutional rights to free speech? Well, I'll tell you, corrupt police. Corrupt police trying to protect one of their buddies' girlfriends. And I think that they thought it would just scare me. I think that they thought, oh, well, if we show up with this protective order, that'll shut her up. Four cops at 4 a.m., that'll scare the shit out of her.

And it didn't, because I was like, this is ludicrous. It did shut me up for three days. I didn't go online. and I was like, okay, I guess I should obey this because these people are going to do anything they can to have me arrested. But I think the reason I'm not the poster child is because the police really messed up. And I think that the press isn't talking about it because it's a big deal. And I think that there's so much to it that I think there's a little scared. I really do.

I mean, Arlington now, our local paper here in Arlington, three articles about my arrest. The third one was about the restaurant saying, oh, Celtic House wants to move past the controversy. Well, good for them. I don't because I didn't get an apology. These people humiliated me in the press. They wrote press releases saying I'm a liar. The only thing that I couldn't back up is I said that she got my address from my ID and credit card. And when the restraining order was filed, it said she didn't know the address.

I did not know that because they had my address. But that's the only thing I could figure. knew my full name. She kept writing about my full name in the group chat. She kept saying, call her this. Call her this. This is her legal name. And her friends who were approaching me were saying, we know your full legal name and we've Googled you and we're going to, like, we're going to find out everything about you. We're going to destroy you. Like, it was just so high school, mean girls. But the reason I'm not the poster child for this is because everybody wants me to shut the hell up. Because this is, and you know, and me talking about it as openly as I am,

probably isn't what they want either, but they're not going to shut me up. You know, they have said, well, they can bring the case back at any time. Okay, what did I do wrong? I made a TikTok saying somebody filed a restraining order illegally against me. Like, I'm sorry, but that doesn't feel like breaking the law to me. And the argument that people have made in my comments was, Well, it was in effect when you broke it. Yeah, but how many were going to get filed? How many times? She filed one in Fairfax County.

She filed one in Arlington County because I'm sure Fairfax was like, why are you getting all these EPOs against someone who's done nothing to you? I'm sure they wouldn't grant a second one. I mean, the judge has already said now, again, no basis for this. But if I hadn't spoken out about it, how many times? And I keep saying that over and over. I'm just like, that will make a person crazy. when you know you're not breaking the law and they're using this much, you know, police resources

on you. Like, I'm like literally the least dangerous person on planet Earth. Like I couldn't fight myself my way out of a wet paper bag. You know, like I'm not out here in the streets throwing hands. Like this is what happened. But these people, like, what's so interesting about all of it to me is that instead of apologizing to me, instead of taking responsibility, Because, like, look, it's not every single employee of the bars, right?

So if they just said, wow, so these claims have been made, the woman has the evidence. We're sorry that happened. We're dealing with it. We're investigating. We're going to make sure it doesn't happen again. That would have been the end of it. But these people are, they're relentless. And so they took to the media originally saying that the only reason they did it was to warn people that I was coming.

Or it's just I'm like, I have. have witnesses and everyone in my neighborhood, well, everybody that like has been around me a good amount, they're like, we didn't believe one word of what was written in there. Not one word. They're like, we know you. We all were like, that's not Coco. Like, there's no way this is true. So people who know me know it's not true. But, yeah, I mean, so yeah, originally they were saying, oh, we just did it to warn people. Bartenders do that. Yeah, bartenders do that. If there's like a drunk person coming into a bar that shouldn't be served, that that is to keep people safe. But that's not the conversation. And I have the conversation. This conversation is about humiliating me, calling me names,

bullying me. There is not one thing concerned about my safety. In fact, it's all about putting my safety in jeopardy. I even have a screenshot from one of the other bartenders from another bar, not related to these two places saying, hey guys, FYI, Coco's in here. Do not come in here and be dicks. So he knew that these people were after me, right? And so I'm like, I have all of this evidence. So they just kept like raising the like just raising the stakes. They were like, you know, it's just we were trying to keep her safe. And then it was she's violent and she attacks people. And I'm like, okay. And then they were like, the only way she found out about the group chat is because she drugged someone and took their phone. And I'm like, oh my God. I have 10 witnesses

to the guy who gave me the screenshots of the group chat. There were 10 people there who were my friends because we had been out together, and they pressured him to give me the screenshots. We didn't bully him. We were like, you need to give her these. So she has the evidence because she can't back up her story without it. So I'm like, but it was just on and on and on. And I'm like, just leave me alone.

Good Lord. Anyway. After Coco started speaking up about, her experiences at the bars, experiences that she says made her feel unsafe in her own neighborhood, someone created a TikTok account dedicated to calling her a liar. I've seen the way these people are like almost obsessed. Like there's TikTok accounts. Like somebody has made a TikTok account solely dedicated to you.

So like when we say things like, oh, like they seem like they're obsessed with me. That's how I would describe. If somebody spent their time making lots and lots of content just about me and how much they didn't like me, I would use the word. I would feel like they were obsessed with me. And I've actually given this a lot of thought. And it's not a fully fleshed out idea. But I think there is something to this idea that you were not willing to shut up, that you are like assertive and confident and like are able to be like, no, I am going to advocate for my own safety. And I don't really care if you like it or not.

I don't really care if you wanted me to shut up. I don't really care if it makes me look, if you're going to make me look crazy, I'm going to advocate for my safety. I think there is something about that, that makes them even more, like, relentless, right? I think that, like, they really expected you to be scared off or to, like, not say anything.

Like, I know in my life, when I've had times where somebody was mistreating me, when I, when I stood up and said, no, they were not expecting that. And I think there's something about you that, like, it just gets under their skin that you're confident and assertive and that you're not willing to just, like, lay down and take it and be humiliated. You're, like, not willing to let them do this to you. And I think it makes them that much more angry and that much more, like,

obsessed with, like, I don't know, there's something about the way they talk about you online where it feels like they're obsessed with, like, taking you down a peg or, like, you know, putting you in your place. It feels very like, I don't even know the word for it. They seem like they're very interested in, like, humbling you in this very specific way that I think is very much rooted in, like, misogyny or, like, sexism. It just seems very... I can't quite describe it, but do you know what I'm saying?

Yes, I do. And that was actually the word I was always using, that these people are completely misogynistic. You know, the things that they have said to my face, like, the way that they insult me, It's always about my age. I'm 39. Oh, my God. 39. You may as well crawl into a grave and die.

39. Not dating and single and not be home, taking care of 10 kids and like washing my husband's laundry. Like, it's like that's the way they talk to me. And several of them have been like, we know you're on TikTok and you're 39. Like grow up. You're so disgusting.

Like, it's just always about my age. That's like the main. thing. Yeah, the energy is very much like, who do you think you are? Why do you think you can do this? And I think my series has always been authentic. Like, I'm not on there being like, oh, look at me. I'm hot shit. And I get all these hot guys, because I'm so perfect. No, like, I go on there and I am talking about guys ghost me and things happen. And my love life is not perfect. My life is not perfect. I am not perfect. I make mistakes on dates. I embarrass myself accidentally. Like, so there's no need to knock me down a peg.

Like I'm, I feel like I'm already pretty humble. I'm putting embarrassing stories online. Like, I tell my audience when I like almost shit my pants in a target parking box. I'm not on here just acting like I'm little Miss perfect because I'm not. And so this commitment that these people have to just, they're trying to cancel me.

And I'm like, why just stop watching me? Like, I'm not, it's not like I'm making a ton of money and they have. have something to completely be jealous about. Like, I live in a studio apartment in bum fuck Arlington, Virginia. I'm dating a bunch of weirdos.

Like, there's no reason. Go on someone else. Like, I'm not the one. But, yeah, I mean, the dedication to just shutting me up, to silencing me, to humiliating me, it's just like never ending. And they think, you know, they called their, well, actually, I don't even want to say what their page is called, because I don't, when I'm promoting. it at all. But their, you know, their whole platform is trying to say that I'm endangering people

by speaking out about how they treated me. They're like, well, we're getting prank phone calls at our business. Well, good. I'm fucking glad that people are calling and telling you exactly what they think of you because you're disgusting. And you shouldn't be treating your customers this way. You shouldn't be treating women this way. So I don't care. But, you know, the woman that has a biggest fuss, the one that, you know, filed the protective orders against me, admitted in the court of law that not only have I never threatened her, that none of my followers have ever threatened her, and that she's never had any contact with me at all whatsoever, ever. Other than, other than once she was taking a video of me in Georgetown. She walked past my table and took a video of me and I

approached her. She was with her police officer boyfriend and I said, I just saw you take a video of me. please do not share my location with your creepy friends. I know what you guys are doing. I do not appreciate it. And I was like, what you're doing is illegal. And she looked at her police officer boyfriend, really freaked out, was like, is it, is it illegal? And he was like, I don't know.

Like he just didn't know what to say. And my friend who was with me was like, well, if it's not illegal, you should at least lose your job for doing that to your customer. And that's all we said. So that's the only time that I have ever spoken to that woman in my entire life. I do not know anything about her. The bottom line is that, you know, for me now, I feel like my mission is to raise awareness about other women

who are going through similar things. Like, that's been kind of a mission I've been on a little bit. And then also, like, you know, shedding some light on this police situation. More after a quick break. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Oden.

Kirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Run a business and not thinking about podcasting, think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than ad-supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandol. And as the number one podcaster, IHearts twice as large as the next two combined. So whatever your customers listen to, they'll hear your message. Plus, only IHeart can extend your message to audiences across broadcast radio. Think podcasting can help your business. Think IHart. Streaming, radio, and podcasting.

Call 844-844-I-Hart to get started. That's 844-8-4-I-Hart. The story I've told myself about love or relationships can then shape my behavior, and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast deeply well with Debbie Brown and explore the journey of healing, self-discovery, and returning to yourself.

We explore higher consciousness, emotional well-being, and the practices that help you find clarity, peace, and self-mastery in a world that can feel overwhelming. The world is becoming lonelier. We're not becoming more social and social. connected. We're becoming more individualized, but we actually meet people in connection. If you've been searching for a soft place to land while doing the work to become whole, this podcast is for you to hear more. Listen to deeply well with Debbie Brown from the Black

Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and your 20s, they can feel like a lot. psychology of your 20s podcast, we unpack the anxiety, the overthinking, the heartbreak, the identity crisis, all of it that comes with being in your 20s. Because if you've ever thought, is anybody else feeling this way, they definitely are. I feel like my 20s was a process of checking off everything that I was not good at to get to what I was good at. Oftentimes, we take everything a little bit too seriously and we get lost in things that we later on decide weren't even important to us to begin when. There was a large chunk of my 20s that I like was just

so wanting to like be out of that phase out of my skin and I just like really regret not living in the present more. Each week we break down the science behind what you're going through and give you real tools to navigate it. Your 20s aren't about having it all figured out. They're about understanding yourself just a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. So if you've ever wondered, I wonder what Bridget is up to when she's not making the podcast. That I have great news for you. We just launched our brand new newsletter where I'm going to be writing about things I'm paying attention to online, interesting stories that didn't make it to the podcast, and a whole lot more.

I promise we will never spam you. You can subscribe to our newsletter at tangoity.com slash newsletter. And it's going to be like a useful newsletter, I promise. You can also support the show by checking out our merch store at tangoity.com slash store. Let's get right back into it. This entire situation has made Coco ask tough questions about policing. How police serve or fail to serve the communities they're meant to be protecting. You know, and this is something I haven't addressed because I feel like it's a delicate subject

and it's a hard thing to talk about. You know, but acknowledging the privilege in being able to get arrested in not having like a fear, you know, and I think that's something that did upset some people like, look, she's lax. thing and being like, ha ha, come arrest me. And in the moment, I didn't have to think about what this would mean to other people. And I have, I have friends of color who were like, Coco, you know, one person said, well, welcome to being black. Wow. This is something that people feel happens to them a lot, that they're made to be criminals and they're being harassed by the police. And so, you know, it's such a touchy subject that I haven't figured out how to really address,

but I've just been trying to listen and be open more with my friends. One of my friends who is from Pakistan originally or his parents were has said he lives in a predominantly white town, a small town in Virginia. And, you know, he has said when I leave the bar at night, I have to be extra careful. You know, where my white friends could just be like, oh, I'm leaving a bar, I'm drunk and that's fine. And police don't harass. He's like, I have been harassed multiple times by local police. Just leaving a bar, not even drunk, just leaving walking out of a bar. and being stopped just walking down the street and things like this. And so, you know, there's, especially the last couple of years, like, there's just been so many issues with cops. And I'm just

thinking to myself, like, we have got to speak out about this because it can't just keep happening. We can't keep using these resources to harass and bully people. And whether it's because of the color of your skin or because you pissed off some cop's boyfriend or whatever the case may be, It just can't happen. It's got to stop because it's ludicrous. And I think that's the most upsetting part for me overall. And the second most upsetting part is how the media has handled it, especially the local media with ARL Now and all of their stuff. It's funny.

I did notice that ARL Now, you know, they had those three different articles about the bars and this and that. When your case was dismissed and you were vindicated, just to tell you. tiny little blurb, no article, just like a tiny little, oh, you know, that story that we put, we had, we had so many articles on, a little update, you know, no, no, it's so interesting to me that they didn't feel the need to write an entire story about the fact that, uh, your protect, the protective order was deemed to be invalid. Um, yeah, it's, I just found that interesting. To me, that seems like such a better story. Other than, oh, some TikToker had a spat with restaurants. Who gives a shit? No one. No one cares if some TikToker had a spat with restaurants. Like,

that's not a story. To me, the story is, hey, illegal protective orders are being issued in multiple counties here to further bully and harass a woman who has made a police report about this. The police did not help her, but they helped this woman who was in fact harassing her. Like, how come we can't get a story? And we can't get a story saying, well, Cocoa Briscoe was telling the truth all along, it turns out. and it turns out the charges have been dismissed. The case has been dismissed. It's all over. Yay, she can go back to doing dating TikTok and talk about how, you know, this harassment of women needs to stop. Maybe some good will come out of this. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no article. In fact, all they do is praise these bars. They won't pass the controversy. Well, I'm not. I'm not moving past it. And I'm not moving past this with ARL now either because they owe me an apology. Yeah, the article really, the Arlington Now coverage, really just, it seemed so obviously based on really misogynistic stereotypes. Like, oh, she's railing against this bar. And I was like, well, someone who was speaking up about something they experienced, even using, like, the words they would use basically seemed like the long form version of, bitches be crazy. Am I right? Like, it just seemed to like really rely on a lot of sexist tropes about women.

Right? Absolutely. And I'm, it. The whole. whole situation started making me feel like I was going bananas because I'm like, I'm the only person in this scenario that hadn't told a lie. And I had a platform to demolish these people. I could have gone on and just started making up stories about these people, but I didn't. I was like, this is what they did. This is how they reacted. Here's my proof. The end. and everyone else involved, I mean, the woman who filed a protective board is completely made up ludicrous stories to tell in court. I'm like, she is lying on the stand. Like, I wish you could have been in that courtroom seeing my reaction to these ludicrous things this woman was saying.

I was laughing out laughing out. Like, I'm like, oh my God, am I getting the giggles in court? Like, this woman is insane. And my lawyer at one point just like reached over and kind of like, squeeze my eyes. I was like, like, what is this woman saying? And I'm like, oh, my God. And the writers for ARL now are right there, just going to write everything down that she says. And the woman is acting like, I have attacked her. She's like, I am terrified of her. I can't even look at her in the courtroom because I made a TikTok telling people what you did to me. That makes you terrified. And

she does this whole elaborate story. And then my lawyer is like, but has, whoever ever threatened you at all or had any contact with you. No. Why are you so scared of people knowing the truth about you? That's the fear. That was the fear. And she's just not a nice person. And that's fine. You don't want to be a nice person? Who cares? But do not send cops to my house and do not publicly humiliate me and tell lies. And I'm just so angry at how nobody bothered to do research. Nobody just bothered to see that I had been talking about being afraid of these people for weeks. Like, I don't know. I'm getting very heated when I talk about it because I just, I don't know what to do about ARL now.

I just, I want to, I don't know, sue the pants off of them. After the courts dismissed the protective order against her, and prosecutors declined to pursue the charges that she faced for violating it, Coco started using her platform to become an advocate for other women who have spoken up about facing unsafe situations at bars. So there is some, like, I don't know what to say good coming out of it, but I know that recently you've taken to using your platform to really help other women who have had dangerous experiences at bars, trying to get them, like, use your platform to get them some accountability. You know, can you tell me how that came to be and how that's going? You know, that was never my intention, although I, you know, if I can be of service and of help to these women, I absolutely will use my platform to do that. It wasn't even something that I planned or thought of.

But after my whole court situation, people got very interested in the story. And then people tag me in these videos. So these are videos I haven't come across on my own. People tag me and they're like, hey, Coco, this is either similar to your story or look what's happening to this person. and I was just kind of reacting to it. Like, oh my God, this is a trend. This is happening. There was the one bar in Fullerton that is threatening to sue a woman who got drugged

and sexually assaulted in their bar. She took to social media and was like, this bar is not safe for people. She actually did have a medical exam. And so she was, in fact, assaulted. A lot of times, and I heard this from a nurse who specializes in doing the testing. for women who have been drugged and assaulted, who said most of the time, by the time they get to the testing,

the drugs are out of their system, and they're not traceable. So that's not always a thing people can prove. They say, oh, I got drugged, and then the toxicology or whatever report comes back, saying that there isn't something in their system, I'm not a doctor, and I don't know, but this is just something that was told to me

from someone on TikTok. But anyway, yes, as far as threatening to sue this woman for posting about it online, And I'm just like, wow. Like to me, that is just so disgusting. And that's what the bars did to me. They took to the media, calling me a liar and then threatened to sue me. And they had told the Washington Post that they were thinking about filing a lawsuit.

I'm like, for what? For saying your bar makes me feel unsafe? I can say whatever I want. I mean, we can take to the internet, be like, their food sucks and the place is disgusting. And the service is awful. Like, why can't I say it's unsafe? That's not illegal. You cannot sue me for saying that your bar makes me feel unsafe and then showing proof of what you did to me.

Like, come on. And yeah, there were things that I initially when I talked to the Washington Post couldn't fully back up. But I can now. Being tagged in these videos, it upsets me because I'm like, this is just incredibly common. It's easy when you're going through something personally to feel the weight of it all, to feel isolated, to feel like it's only happening to you. and knowing that these similar situations are happening in women everywhere across the country, I want to do everything I can to help them. And I want to help them avoid my experience because it's bad enough.

Like each step of the way for me was very humiliating and scary. But then knowing that, you know, the newspapers are printing lies about you. The police aren't willing to protect you. It's like, it's terrifying. And I consider myself to be a pretty confident person and a pretty tough cookie. And this whole situation was so mentally and emotionally damaging for me that there were days that I couldn't get out of bed. There were days I couldn't handle it. And, you know, these situations are happening to women much younger than me with not a following on TikTok that can stand behind them like an army, you know, and not awesome people saying, please be on my podcast and tell your story, right?

So, you know, we have to be voices for those people. I don't feel like I actually have a choice at this point because I can't ignore it now. I can't just, when people tag me in this, I can't just be like, oh, that's sad. Let me just go back to talking about what, like I can't do it. I have to address it. So, you know, the big question now is, will this become what my content is about? And maybe I feel like as long as I'm being tagged in these videos, as long as I'm aware of a situation and I feel like I have something to add or something to say, then I will say it and I'll speak out. But yeah, I feel like this whole situation has really turned my life into a different direction than I was not expecting.

And I do feel the weight of that. And I have kind of taken a break from social media a little bit recently because it gets very overwhelming. And I love, I love getting private messages from people. I love that they share their stories with me. And I love reading this stuff. it's just a lot sometimes. So I have, I'm still a person and TikTok isn't my job. I mean, it is my job. I guess I get paid for it. And, you know, it's a little bit. But I'm also a person and I have to cultivate my own personal relationships in my life. And I don't want to spend all day

talking to strangers on the internet. You know, I want to be with the people in my life and love them and spend, I don't want to be the girl that's always on her phone. That's so insulting to people that I love. I'm out with my friends. I'm out with my friends. When I'm on a date, I'm on a date. I'm not going to sit there and TikTok. And sometimes I make little videos of restaurants and stuff. But, you know, I'm not going to be replying to all these comments all day long because I can't.

And so I try to read as many as I can and reply to as many as I can without overwhelming myself. Because I feel like, you know, when you're on a platform like that, you grow so quickly. You're not prepared. No one prepares you for what it feels like. to be bombarded with so much information and so many people wanting to talk to you. And it's a gift, really, but it also kind of sometimes feels overwhelming. I can only imagine. And I guess that's, I mean, talking about like a happy ending, you know, following your content. I know that you have a lot of like positive, exciting things in your life, in your real offline life developing. And so it's kind of like

a nice bookends to the journey of you starting this channel to chronicle your journey in D.C. looking for love, you know, having it, having it be in this point where you like are, you seem like you're in a good place in your real life. I am. I have been really blessed with meeting so many wonderful people. And actually, most of the people in my life currently I've met on TikTok, which is so weird. but they have become real life friends and my friends have been incredibly supportive. I mean, all of this stuff that has happened to me was so much. It was very emotional and I lost people in my life over it.

There were people that kind of distanced themselves. They were kind of scared of this group of people as I was scared of them because these people were harassing some of my friends as well. And people took a step back for me and that was one of the hardest things. But I understand and I can't ask anyone to fight my battles for me. for me or even be here through that if it makes them uncomfortable. But the friends of mine who have stuck around are lovely and supportive women and they're strong and they're kind and they have my back.

I have been doing well in my dating life. I have met someone finally that... Who maybe looks like Harry Styles? He looks like Harry Styles. Yeah, like Harry Styles. He's wonderful. He's just such a kind man and he has been really supportive about all of this. And this is, all of this was very scary to tell people about like, hey, I got arrested for making

TikToks and the newspapers make me sound like a psycho. Like, it's a hard thing to bring into an already complicated situation because dating is already difficult enough. But he was very receptive and open to hearing my side. And he has just been really wonderful. And it's still new. So who knows what's going to happen. But I feel like I have a new friend in my life and somebody who does care about me that I care about. And I, you know, I hope the best for us in this journey going forward. It's so far so good. I have started a new job that I like and my, my coworkers are lovely and my boss seems to be great. And so, you know, it's now moving forward. I'm just trying to look for the good things. And that's trying, that's what I'm trying to focus on. It just feels sometimes like the negative voices are

louder to us. And, you know, I'm trying to find peace with, if I am choosing to move forward with being a content creator, putting so much of myself out there publicly, this is just going to be part of it, the hate and the trolling and all of that. But speaking out about women's safety is something that I will always do, and it's becomes such a huge deal for me, and hopefully I can help protect other women. Got a story about an interesting thing in tech or just want to say hi? You can reach us at hello at tangoody.com.

You can also find transcripts for today's episode at tangoody. There are no girls on the internet was created by me, Bridget Todd. It's a production of IHeart Radio and Unbossed Creative. Jonathan Strickland is our executive producer. Tarry Harrison is our producer and sound engineer. Michael Amato is our contributing producer. I'm your host, Bridget Todd. If you want to help us grow, write and review us on Apple Podcasts.

For more podcasts from IHeartRadio, check out the IHeart Radio app, podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Another podcast from some SNL, late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-heart radio app.

podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're watching the latest season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down. Gorsha accusing Kelly of sleeping with a merry man. They holding Kay Michelle back from fighting Drew. Pinky has financial issues. On the podcast, Reality with the King, I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real House Wise franchise, the drama, the alliances,

and the team. everybody's talking about. To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the King on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Why are we all so obsessed with romance?

On the Radio 831 podcast, join us, Sanjana Basker and Tyler McCall, as we unpack all the trending tropes, fuzzy adaptations, book talk drama, and celebrity love stories with hot takes and sharp guests.

Each episode digs into what these stories reveal about desire, fantasy, identity, and how we love now. Listen to the Radio 831 podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The story I've told myself can then shape my behavior, and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast deeply well with Debbie Brown. If you've been searching for a soft place to land while doing the work to become whole, this podcast is for you to hear more. Listen to deeply well with Debbie Brown from the Black Effect Podcast Network

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.