There Are No Girls on the Internet - #DisabledandCute

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

Writer Keah Brown created the #DisabledAndCute movement to celebrate how people with disabilities love their bodies. She talks about the ways disability shows up online and [e-mail] for transcripts and more Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.

Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting, think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than adds supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster, IHeart's twice as large as the next two combined.

Learn how podcasting can help your business. Call 844-844-I-Hart. What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas. And I'm C.J. Toledano. It's our favorite time of the year on our podcast point game, the playoffs. We're digging into the biggest surprises of the season. And I'm looking back on some of my greatest playoff moments. If we didn't talk ever again, I was harmed.

You just understood. That's how personal it got. Wow. Then after that game seven, Marquis come in to you, he's like, you know, I love you, dog. You know, it's all love. This was just playoffs. This was just basketball. So listen to Point Game on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

American soccer is about to explode. The World Cup is coming. Ramers sending on the only, score at the chip. I'm Tab Ramos. I'm Tom Boeke. On our podcast, Inside American Soccer, you'll get the real storylines, the biggest decisions,

and the truth about the U.S. national team. It wouldn't be a huge surprise if our team ends up in the quarterfinals or potentially a great run into the semifinals. Listen, Inside American Soccer with Tom Bogart and Tab Ramos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcast.

This episode is dedicated to the memory of my my friend, Michael Brooks, a brilliant podcaster and even better friend. Rest in Power. There Are No Girls on the Internet is a production of IHeart Radio and Unbossed Creative. I'm Bridget Todd, and this is There Are No Girls on the Internet. This week marks the 30th anniversary of the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act. And even though the World Bank estimates that 15% of the world experiences some form of disability, sometimes it can feel like our world is built for able-bodied people alone. But even in a world that isn't always accessible or inclusive, people will

with disabilities still love themselves, love their bodies, and are worthy of desire, love, and joy. And when that kind of self-love isn't represented in the media, they change the game to make sure it's included anyway. My upbringing was very typical black girl upbringing. My mom was very much a person who was like, I'm raising you, Kia, like I would raise your twin sister, Leah, or your old. older brother Eric, there was never anything where it was like, if they got scooters or bikes or roller blades or whatever, we would figure out a way for me to get that too. We would figure out a way for me to be able to do those things as well. She was very keen on making sure that I knew that I may have had to work a little harder, but I was going to be able to do what they

were doing because she wasn't going to take me using disability as an excuse for anything. In 2017, writer Kia Brown created a movement on social media to celebrate the fact that having a disability doesn't mean you have to hate your body. Her debut book, The Pretty One, chronicles all the things she loves in life, Hollywood, football, and being born with cerebral palsy and learning to love herself and her body. But she didn't always feel this way. In your book, you write about yearning to be what you call normal and yearning for refuge from a steady stream of hate, society strengthened inside of you. How did society make you feel that way? Really through messaging with, you know, advertising and like representation and media and the only time I would see someone who looked sort of like me, never liked me completely because, you know, I've never had that.

But whenever I would see someone, it was because of those, you know, like very exploitive telethons. And people were always staring when I would enter public spaces. And even before I realized exactly what disability meant, I knew that the stairs that I would get from people who didn't know me, didn't care to know me, didn't love me, were always negative. You know, they always looked at me with a sort of like pity or with this like inherent disgust. And even as a child, I picked up on that very easily. This lack of representation really impacted Kia. If people who look like me aren't getting shown love, she thought, then I must not be worthy of it at all. The people that were getting the happily ever afters, you know, the people that were getting the love or the attention or the excitement in their lives.

for people who didn't look like me. So I really did aid in my own self-hatred because I was like, I must not be worthy enough if I'm not being represented. Do you ever have that little voice in your head that says mean things about yourself? You're worthless.

You're ugly. You're lazy. You don't deserve love. You don't deserve good things. It can really get a stuck in a loop of negative self-talk where we start to really believe and internalize those things.

To get to the other side, Kia had to unshrain her brain out of negative self-talk to go from self-hate to self-love. She started out each day by saying four nice things about herself. Breaking the cycle of negativity took a lot of work. So how did you get to the other side of that? To feel like someone who was worthy of love and desire and all those good things. Yeah, I mean, I always say, too, that it's a constant effort, you know?

It's like every single day I have to still do that work. And for me, I mean, it took a lot of crying and a lot of promising myself. that like there was something worthy on the other side of it. And it just took this sort of like exhaustion with beating myself up. And so for me it was like every single day I would say the four things that I liked about myself, of course, in the mirror. But I would also actively stop, actively try to stop a negative thought in my brain. So my brain would be like, oh, you're worthless. And I would counteract that with examples of when I work.

wasn't quote unquote worthless or when someone needed me and when they cared about me or did something just because they wanted to. So I really had to actively train my brain to reroute itself from my inherent negative thoughts about myself. And I mean, it's not easy work. Like I said, I'm still doing it every single day. And it wasn't necessarily as simple as saying four things in the mirror, but those four things in the mirror were a catalyst to me allowing myself to then work to retrain my brain to stop itself from saying things like, oh, you're not worthy of love, you're this, you're that, to say you are worthy of love just as you are, you are worthy of care and kindness and joy as much as anyone else.

And so yeah, it's been a journey because I think with the hashtag disabled and cute, a lot of people were like, oh, well, you know, you fixed yourself. You know, you're happy now. But I mean, it isn't every single day constant battle to remind myself, especially now in these current political times, to remind myself that all this work that I've put in is worthy work. And that work just means that even though I have to keep doing it every day, that just means that that makes it that much more important because it's necessary to work at so that I can wake up every day and be the best version of myself, not only for myself, but for the world at large for people who don't see people like me every single day and I'm their window in. When Kia first tweeted a few selfies using the hashtag disabled and cute, she wasn't expecting to start a movement that it would be a call for people with disabilities. all over the globe to celebrate their bodies. She was just looking at selfies of herself and thinking, damn, I look good.

Walk me through how you were feeling on February 12th when you first tweeted a selfie using the hashtag disabled and cute. I felt like a bad bleep. I really felt so good that day. I felt so good that day. And I was looking at those pictures. And there were pictures that I had taken before the 12th, you know. But I was looking at them with the,

this excitement and this renewed sense of self-worth. I was like, oh, you didn't even know it, but first of all, Kia, that outfit that you have standing up by the door in one of the pictures slaps, you look fantastic, your skin looks clear. Like all these things that I didn't see when the pictures were taken, I just woke up that morning and I was like, we still feel so good about ourselves.

It's time to celebrate. Now, if you know anything about me, I'm very online. And so I was like, I'm going to celebrate on Twitter. And I'm going to do so with the idea that I'm both disabled and cute. So I was like, ooh, I like the way that sounds. Disabled and cute, not either or. So I picked the pictures that I thought I looked my cutest in. And then I posted it thinking, like, a couple of my friends would returts.

it because they love me and like I wanted other people to use it and I'm pretty sure in the thread I was like I hope that people use this and then by the end of that week we had went viral and then the end of next week it went global and I people were like were you expecting that and I was like no literally I was expecting five people to retweet it and be like girl you look so cute and I would be like love you thank you and that would be the end of it so it is interesting the way that, like, it sounds so cliche to say, but I wasn't expecting to go viral, and maybe that's why it happened.

After the hashtag went viral, Kea says magazines that she previously didn't feel pretty enough to ever see herself in were calling to interview her. But more importantly than that, other people with disabilities were able to share their stories online and feel connected. The internet helped her have that thing we're all looking for, a sense of community and belonging,

and a chance to feel seen. if not for social media, that might not have happened. I think without it, it wouldn't have been possible. Like, I just think that we live in a world where if I didn't have the internet, I wouldn't have the career that I have or the opportunities that I have had. And it's like, I've worked hard for them. Let me be clear. No one's handed me anything.

But the reach that comes with social media is not to be discounted, you know. and so much of the work that I've done has been so much about me sharing my personality along with the work. And so people will be like, oh, I want to work with Kia because I think she's funny and she's talented.

Or like, I want to work with Kia because this tweet made me laugh. And like, I didn't know she wanted to talk about this and now I'm going to give her the opportunity to talk about it. Like, it's just, it's very interesting the way that social media works because I tweet and Instagram

them as though nobody's actually looking at them. And then you find out that they are and they're like, hey, I want to help in any way I can. Like, there's that, that sense of community that, that feeling of belonging in a way that I never had before. You have one of my favorite quotes of all time. Twitter is like a trash can on fire, but it has all the things you love inside the trash can. Can you tell me more about that? But that's, it's really what it's like.

It's like, yes, this place is a mess, you know? There's so many things wrong with it. And like some days you're just like, this is the worst place. Why am I still here? But you stay because first of all, you have people that you care about. You know, you can talk freely about so many things. You know, I can jump from talking about a TV show to a movie, to talking about how attractive like Kiki Lane and Idris Elba are,

or to talk about like politics or disability issues. And so for everything that's, bad about social media or places like Twitter, there's a hundred things that are good about it. You know, the fostering of community for me, meeting people who have become such inherent parts of my life through social media first, you know, and through Twitter first. And now these people I talk to every single day, these people I trust with so much of my life. And so Twitter is a dumpster fire, but there are so many good things about it. And so even when it's you know, on fire, you can go to a corner of the internet that's not. And you can find solace there.

And so it's special in that way because like all things, nothing is perfect. But so much of what I find keeps me going back to Twitter is the relationships that I've made there and the things and the ability to be able to say what I want to say and not apologize for the space that I take up on the internet, you know, and to not apologize for having an opinion, you know, because I think a lot of black women, particularly too, like black disabled women, we don't have offline spaces where we're as heard or as seen as the internet makes us or allows us to be. Let's take a quick break. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite, unhumored me with Robert Smygel

and friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman, help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between songs banter. There's that worst singer in the group? The worst? Yeah. Me.

Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The group. The yarn birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yard. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open.

Since you guys are middle aged, one erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Humor me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting, think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than ad-supported streaming music. from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster,

IHearts twice as large as the next two combined. So whatever your customers listen to, they'll hear your message. Plus, only IHeart can extend your message to audiences across broadcast radio. Think podcasting can help your business. Think IHeart. Streaming, radio, and podcasting.

Call 844-844-I-Hart to get started. That's 844-Ehart. What's up, fam? This Isaiah Thomas. And I'm C.J. Toledano, and our podcast Point Game is about defying the odds. like LeBron heading into the playoffs without Luca and Austin Reed. And finding ways to win no matter what.

He's the smartest player to ever play the game. His IQ is at a level that we've never seen before. And he knows without Luca and Austin Reeves, I got to manipulate the game. We get a player's perspective on the challenges of the playoffs. I think Joker's going to be exhausted this series because when they don't have Rudy in the lineup, he has to really guard guys like Nas Reid.

He has to guard Julius Randall. And then he has to give us every. everything he gives us on the night-to-night basis on offense. And when IT's friends stop by, like Quentin Richardson, we dive into some playoff history too. Steve Nash would get that thing. That man, hell get the flying. He running up the court, licking his fingers why he got the ball.

Like, after you go through a training camp with that, Isaiah, you figure it out real quick. Get your ass up and down the court, and you're going to get the ball. So listen to Point Game on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There are times when the minds. becomes a difficult place to live. This is David Eagleman with the Inner Cosmos podcast,

and for Mental Health Awareness Month, we're dedicating a series to understanding the mind when it struggles. I'm joined by doctors, researchers, and those with lived experience. We'll talk with singer-songwriter Jewel about anxiety. I started living in my car, and then my car got stolen.

I was shoplifting, I was having panic attacks, I was agoraphobic. And making it through hardship. To be present. is a learned skill, and it's hard to be present. We'll talk with John Nelson about clinical depression and the brain implant that saved his life. What I learned is that procedure made me happy

because I'm disease-free. And we'll talk with leading experts like Judd Brewer about anxiety and John Hirschfield about obsessive-compulsive disorder and the science of how the brain can change. This is a month of deeply personal and honest conversations about what happens when the brain goes off course and what we can do about it. Listen to Inner Cosmos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. It's funny how on the time of COVID, workplaces and events and activities are all making it so they can be done remotely. But disability activists have been calling for the world to be more accessible for a long time, and it seems like everyone else is just now catching up.

This is a huge problem. When spaces aren't accessible, voices get shut out. Kia says that's one reason why the internet can be such an important space for people with disabilities. In an IRRL world that isn't always built with them in mind, online, folks can build their own little corner of the web to find community and connection. A lot of places are inaccessible, you know. And so when we talk about the specific, the specific, whatever, the specifics, I can't say the word. specificity of, you know, things like disability, places are inaccessible. There's no places to sit.

Elevators don't work. Railings are broken. There's just no place to rest, whereas, like, if I'm on the Internet, I can be on the Internet from my bed or from a chair in my house. Or, you know, I can show up and be like, this is who I am. And this is what you're going to get. And I'm not apologizing because it feels like that, that meme. of Charray being like, who's gonna check me, boo?

Because like, you have trolls and people who say negative things, but at the end of the day, like, who's gonna check me? Like, who are, what are you gonna do that I, like me living out loud and being happy and sharing my stories and, you know, manifesting things and like talking about my experiences? Like, what are you gonna do about it? You can't be like, oh, no, you can't do that on your platform because I'm going to be who I am regardless. And in places where I feel like black women in particular are shut out by white voices, whether that's male or female, we can go on the internet into our own profiles or whatever.

And we can say the things that we've wanted to say in those spaces where we're often shut out or just ignored or we never get the chance to speak. There's no one going before us in our own spaces that, you know, might take up too much time or we just ran out of time to hear from you. On the Internet, there's never someone running out of time to hear from you. You get to be your opener and the main act. You don't have to be like, oh, well, you know, I'm just waiting my turn, just biding my time. No, you just get to be able to be your full. self, whatever you want to share with the world, and no one's going to be like, oh, let me speak for you, which I think makes the internet that much more special because, oh, like, they can't be like,

oh, no, you're talking too much. I mean, people do. Don't get me wrong. They'll be like, you're talking too much about disability. You're talking too much about queerness. You're talking too much about blackness. But I can also be like, black, black, black and blackety black block block. And so it's nice because you are really able to share your full self without having to be like, I don't have to tolerate racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, et cetera, et cetera, on my page in this community that I've created and there's nothing you can do about it. Like, you can be mad, but you can't stop me from trying to create a space where the people that I care about, my people and myself, feel comfortable.

Like all of us, Kia is a multifaceted person with a wide variety of interests, things she's good at, and things she likes talking about. On Twitter, you can find her talking about disability rights in one moment and lipstick in the next. This shouldn't come as a surprise to you. We're literally all like this.

But there's an underlying assumption for folks who have disabilities that that's the one thing that defines them. Do you ever feel that people, you know, expect you to only write about disability and disability activism of online as if that's like the only thing about you? Yes, they do.

They absolutely do. They're like, like the ADA is, the ADA 30th anniversary is coming up. And I've gotten so many articles like, will you write about it? Will you do this? Will you do that? And these same people, some of them, you know, I'm like, heck yeah, I'll write about it. Like, what do you mean? I care about this thing.

But so many other people would not have reached out to me to write about it for, worried about anything else for the publication, just the disability stuff. And I think for a while it really bothered me because I was like, why can't you see that I have other interests? Why can't you see that I am a fully realized human being that isn't just always your disability liaison? And then I got to a point where I was like, I'll tell these stories, but remember, Kia, you can also say no. And saying no for me is really hard. I'm like an inherent professional people, please. But like just like professionally, like I can say no personally,

but I never can say no professionally, it seems. And so I'm working on that. But also it's just like if somebody gives me the opportunity and they're like, hey, I want you to touch on disability. What they don't understand is they're going to get a Trojan horse. I'll touch on disability because you want me to. Like I'm going to do the requirements of the job. but I'm also going to talk about other things because I've decided that, you know, especially

in writing The Pretty One, so many of those essays were me talking about things that I was never going to get the opportunity to in freelance pieces and me talking about religion and talking about music and talking about pop culture on a deeper level. That was my Trojan horse. I was like, I'll talk about disability. We'll talk about the hashtag. We'll talk about what it means to be disabled. We'll talk about CP and Exploative telethons, but I'm also going to talk to you about Paramour and General Rado, and I'm going to talk to you

about cheesecake and the wild thornberries, and I'm going to talk to you about clothes and these other things that I never ever, ever get the opportunity to talk about in this book. And then it took the book being published for people to be like, oh, so you do

like clothes, and you do like TV, and you do like this thing that me, this person who's not disabled also enjoys. I said, wow, isn't that something the way that happens, how we all have, you know, things that we enjoy, whether we're disabled or not, that disabled people are actually people and not just their disability, magic. So it's been interesting now because I feel like I'm in a better place where I can say no to things, Also, I can assert the fact that there are certain things that I want to talk about and then I'm going to talk about. And it's like, either you come on that ride with me or you get left in the dust.

So how do we get to a place where the assumption is, of course, this person is a multifaceted complex human being? How can we get to a place where that's the default and not something you have to kind of trick people into understanding? Yeah, I mean, oof. What a question. Maybe it's too big of a question. I mean, it kind of is, but I think it really does take effort on their part to ensure that they're willing to learn and they're willing to see people who don't look like them in some way as human beings inherently. Like, you can't just be the job of disabled people or queer people or black people or other people of color to say, hey, I'm human. hey, I'm a fully realized person just like you. That whole thing about reaching across the aisle exhausts me.

Because reaching across the aisle for somebody who's holding a gun to your head. You know what I mean? I think that it's an inherent societal thing where it can't just be the marginalized people begging the oppressors to see our worth. It has to be a fully collective willingness for the people in power, specifically for me in terms of representation on TV and in film to show aspects of live realities that aren't so steeped in trauma so that the only time that you see someone who's different than you is so based in trauma and death and pain that you don't see them as real human beings. You see them as these sort of objects that take nothing but constant pain and trauma and torture. Like, black people know joy, disabled people know joy, queer people know joy.

And some of us at those intersections of all three or four, five, or six, or whatever, we experience happiness. And so why is it that the only time we're valuable is when you can mine our pain for entertainment, you know? And so I think a lot of it will really start with representation. And I think that, of course, representation isn't the issue. It's not going to save the world. but it's a start. More after this quick break. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy,

not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an acapella band with their between songs banter.

There's that worst singer in the group. The worst? Yeah. Me. Is there anything to the idea? that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation.

The group. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yardt. They're open. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged.

One erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smygel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. You love me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting, think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than ads supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora.

And as the number one podcaster, IHearts twice as large as the next two combined. So whatever your customers listen to, they'll hear your message. Plus, only IHeart can extend your message to audiences across broadcast radio. Think podcasting can help your business. Think IHeart. Streaming, radio, and podcasting. Let us show you at IHeart. Advertising.com. That's iHeartadvertising.com.

What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas. And I'm C.J. Toledano, and our podcast's point game is about defining the odds. Like LeBron heading into the playoffs without Luca and Austin Reed. And finding ways to win no matter what. He's the smartest player to ever play the game. His IQ is at a level that we've never seen before. And he knows, without Luca and Austin Reeves, I got to manipulate the game. We get a player's perspective on the challenges of the playoffs. I think Joker's going to be exhausted this series because when they don't have Rudy in the lineup, he has to really guard guys like Nas Reid. He has to guard Julius Randall. And then he has to give us everything he gives us on the night-to-night basis on offense. And when IT's friends stop by, like Quentin

Richardson, we dive into some playoff history too. Steve Nash would get that thing. That man, hell get the flying. He run up the court, licking his fingers while he got the ball, like, after you go through a training camp with that, Isaiah, you figure it out real quick. Get your ass up and down the court and you're going to get the boss. So listen to Point Game on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There are times when the mind becomes a difficult place to live.

This is David Eagleman with the Inner Cosmos podcast. And for Mental Health Awareness Month, we're dedicating a series to understanding the mind when it struggles. I'm joined by doctors, researchers, and those with lived experience. We'll talk with singer-songwriter Jewel about anxiety. I started living in my car and then my car got stolen. I was shoplifting. I was having panic attacks.

I was agoraphobic. And making it through hardship. To be present is a learned skill. And it's hard to be present. We'll talk with John Nelson about clinical depression and the brain implant that saved his life. What I learned is that procedure made me happy because I'm disease-free.

And we'll talk with leading experts like Judd Brewer about anxiety. and John Hirschfield about obsessive-compulsive disorder and the science of how the brain can change. This is a month of deeply personal and honest conversations about what happens when the brain goes off course and what we can do about it. Listen to Inner Cosmos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. Now, for marginalized people, representation isn't the end-all be-all, but it is something. And for as many people, Americans experience some kind of disability, disability representation is pretty dismal. In most movies and TV shows, either a character with disability is shown hating their body and hating themselves, or maybe if they're lucky, they experience a fleeting temporary love

before dying and finally being, quote, free of their disability. In a piece for Teen Vogue, Keir wrote about the way that people depicted the late Stephen Hawking after his death as finally being free of his wheelchair in the afterlife. But here's the thing. As Kea points out in her piece, Hawking didn't really have a big problem with having a disability. In fact, he says, if anything, they helped him in a way by shielding him from lecturing and administrative work that he would have otherwise had to have been involved in. So why are people so quick to erase disability or assume that people that have disabilities hate their bodies and their disability? Kea wants to open us up to more nuanced and complex depictions of disability, even if it's something she has to create herself. I want to create things, TV or film, that showcase people like me in the lead, but let us go beyond the idea of like, oh, we hate ourselves.

Like, life sucks. Why don't you just like let me die? How could you love me? This is what I'm missing out by being disabled. This is the life that I had before. Because right now, disability representation is so caught up in this idea that, like, like, people come into disability and they lose so much value or joy in their life. And it's like, but what about us who were born this way?

You know, I've been disabled since 1991, okay? And, like, I've never known anything else. And I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I feel like this is who I am. And I am allowed the full spectrum of human emotion. And it's about time that I see a movie where the disdeme. girl gets the love interest and she doesn't die. And sure, I had to write it, but hopefully, you know what I mean?

But hopefully it'll get made. And I have all these ideas for this medium that I love so much to be more inclusive and to be broader and just more fun. I think that like, what I always say is we critique. the things we love the most, right? I'm very much a person who critiques Hollywood because I love Hollywood. I love the idea of creating something that people can watch in a theater, creating something that they can watch from their computer on Netflix or Hulu or any sort of streaming service.

And because I love it so much, I'm like, fine. If I have to be the person who creates the representation, great. Because I know it'll be good. I'll re-watch it. You know, I have faith in whatever it is that I'm creating. But it's also that like, it's hard because you get these moments where things happen and they're like, oh, we're looking for this. But I wanted to not be so much of a moment and more of a movement to have it be a thing that propels forward and not just this one-off thing where like, oh, you get to be the one in the room, just the one, you know, because nobody wants to be by themselves. I don't want to be the only one in the room, which is a podcast that I love.

But I want to be among people that look like me, not just me being the person that's like, hey, I'm speaking for X, Y, and Z delegation. Right. Yeah. I mean, it's so easy for marginalized folks to be pigeonheld or pigeonholed in that way, where, okay, we have the one who is going to check that box. And now we can say we've achieved diversity. or something like that,

like as opposed to really being interested in building out an inclusive room or an inclusive space or an inclusive audience or what have you. Right. And it's like it's just frustrating because it's like that onus is so often on us, you know? Like it's so often on us to be the ones to be like, let us in, you know? And I think Gabriel Union was the one that said like, I don't want to see it at your table if I had to bend. to get in the room. I'm going to create my own table. And I think what has to happen is that, like,

we are going to have to create our own tables. You know, we are going to have to be the ones that create our own tables and try our best to populate them with people that we think are worthy, because I don't want to be the person that, I don't want to be the person that's like, oh, yes, you chose me. I want to be the person that's like, here's me, yes, but also here's five other people. Here's six other people. Here are people that you should be listening to. It's funny that you mentioned Hollywood. There's this movie that I loved growing up, loved in college when I was sort of an artsy,

fartsy college kid, Amelie. And there's a scene in the movie. Have you seen the movie, Amelie? Yes, I have. So there's a scene in the movie Amelie. So Amelie is meant to be this, like, quirky, you know, sweet French girl. And there's a scene where there's a man who is blind and she takes him by the arm. And it's played as if it's this like very sweet thing that she does for this man who is blind where she takes him and she describes all the things that he can't see because he's blind.

And looking back now as an adult, I realize how fucked up that is that and how it was played to be like, oh, like she's so she's so in touch with humanity that she does this. And how insulting it is that she swoops in and, like, you know, runs this guy around town. And it's sort of the audience is meant to think that it's a sweet gesture. You know, it's so clear to me that Hollywood needs voices like yours who can actually tell authentic stories about what it is, like, what the experience of being a person with disabilities is actually like. And when I watch that movie now, I'm like, well, clearly they didn't have anybody in the room who could speak to that experience. Right, because I watched, well, so I watched it in this, I think it was a film and cultures class. And like, I argued this very point, even before, it's so funny that I did because in college, I wasn't as vocal about what was going wrong in terms of representation as I am now.

But yeah, even back then, I was like, no, what is this? Why? Like, why are we supposed to think that this is so great? I mean, we had, like, sections, and people were like, oh, it was such a sweet moment. And I'm like, no, it was it? She just, like, took this guy. He was minding his own business. And she was just like, let me show you all the things you can't see.

Like, it was just very what I call inspiration porn. And it was very steeped in this idea of her being this, like, savior and doing this good deed for the day. And I just was like, ew, it's disgusting. because that's what people think we want. You know, people, and I think that that is an inherent part of representation being what it is, is that people think that we want them to save us or we want them to show us what we're missing, quote-unquote, or love us, if only temporarily. And that's harmful.

So if you're not familiar with what Kia is calling disability porn, you've probably seen it all over social media. Videos of kids with disabilities being asked to prom or a kid with a disability joining a sports team. Videos that may seem harmless enough, but actually use a person with disabilities to make able-bodied people feel better. But people with disabilities don't exist

to make able-bodied folks feel good, or to be our inspiration. Kia says sometimes people who are otherwise thoughtful about marginalized voices, sometimes share these videos with good intentions, and in some ways, that's even worse. Right, they do. And I mean, it's like, it's even a little bit more frustrating because they get so many other things, you know.

But when it comes to that, it's like they use it as, you know, my life might be bad, but it's just not that bad. Or, wow, look what they can do. You should be able to do that too, random person I don't know on the internet. Or like, hey, you know, it's just so beautiful. It made me cry this morning because they love a good, like, for your mom. Monday morning cry or like, this will be so sweet and like magical and just just 10 minutes of this will make you feel so good. And it's like, who is it making feel good though? Like, because it's certainly not the person that you're turning into a spectacle for likes and retweets on

the internet. And so yeah, it is, it's harder, I think, when it's like well-meaning people who get so many other aspects of lived experience. But, don't quite understand how they're being harmful. And then when you kindly say as much, they buck against it. And they're upset that you would even infer that that's what they meant because they know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who's disabled. So this podcast is about creating monuments to all the marginalized voices who shape the internet. And when disabled and Q was happening, I saw you really having to fight to make sure that

you got credit for this creation. Did you feel like you had to be constantly reminding people that this was something that you started just to make sure your voice wouldn't be erased? Yes, so easy. Just last week, somebody messaged me and was like, I had no idea that Disabling Kute was your hashtag. I had no idea that you were the one who created it because it took that much work for me to be like,

I had to ask people like, please, like any sort of affluent person that I knew were a person with a platform, I was like, if you use the hashtag, Like, please say that it's mine because people were, you know, just using it and like talking about it in podcasts and never and never crediting me, making t-shirts, making enamel pins, all these other different things. And my name was never mentioned. And so it's funny because people will literally still message me to this day being like, I didn't know that it was yours. Like I saw, I watched, somebody said they listened to a podcast that I did. And that was the first time they had heard that it was my hashtag that I created.

And I think that happens to a lot of black creators, not just me. It happens all the time when you create, like, Blackout Day is by, oh, my God, Mars. Marce Sebastian, yes, she was on the show just last week. Yes, yes, yes. So it happened to her. And they, a celebrity attached themselves to it, and they ran with it. And she was completely erased from that narrative. And so it's very, it's not surprising when it happens, but it does hurt because you put in all this work for this thing that you created that was yours and your idea.

And other people will jump on it and claim to be there. It's just because they found it and thought that, you know, nobody was behind it. They never think to do the research of who is the person behind this hashtag that I happened to stumble upon or that. this thing that I created. It happens all the time specifically to black people, I think, on the internet, much more so, because there isn't that inherent quest to credit them like there might be someone who has someone's peer and they don't want to seem like they're biting their idea. Did you feel that when that happened to disabled and cute, that the actual message was co-opted

or whitewashed as well? Yes. Do we have the time? Yes. It really was because what I found was like people would write about, especially when it first happened, they would write about the hashtag, right? And my name would be there, like Kea Brown, ever a picture of me, but always pictures of white disabled people using it. Like they would put, this is what would get me when I would see articles about it.

And they would tell me like, we wrote about your hashtag. And the person on the cover of it would be a person who would be a person who would be a person who would get me. who used it, but it was never me. And so I would see slideshows celebrating the hashtag, never any people of color, ever, just completely all white disabled people. And I'm like, and I started to call them out. I'm like, you said my name, you wrote it down. But when you have a picture of somebody else as the head image, you're giving them credit

for something they didn't even create, they just used. And so I would like implore that I would like find the emails of the writers and and say as much. Or when they would reach out to me to do an interview, I would say, okay, I'll do the interview. But I want you to make sure that when you do a slideshow of the hashtag and the pictures there, it's diverse. The fact that you would even have to say that is so troubling. And I think really illustrates how deep the problem goes because you're not shy. about being a black queer person, right? Like, that's a big part of how you show up online,

show up to the world. And so the fact that they would kind of erase that part of the creator of this thing they say they want to write about, it just goes to show how deep the problem goes. Yeah, and it's funny because they, like a couple of them pushed back. They're like, well, you know, I'm just,

I'm only sharing, you know, what I see. So I would go into the hack. hashtag and send them pictures of disabled people of color to put into the articles because they couldn't see them from the hashtag. And some of them would be at the very top. So I'm like, no, you just scrolled past them because that's your inherent bias. And it was wild to me because I was like, I'm doing part of your job because you're uncomfortable with the idea of not only showing a picture of the person who created the hashtag, but showing pictures of people who look like the person who created the hashtag using it.

I mean, yeah, it is, how you put it is so accurate, having to do their job. It's like, not only are you like, first of all, you're like talent, so really you should just be, you know, they're writing about you, but having to also curate their photos so that they're inclusive, having to also educate them on why. All of this unpaid labor that you're not really, it's not really your job. to do that you're just expected to take on. Right. It's really sad.

And I think a big part of this is I think that folks in the media need to be better and take a little responsibility of the platforms that we're helping to create because it's, I don't know if it's laziness or not being able to see the full picture of what they're contributing to. But the standard is just got to be higher. If we're going to tell these stories, either they need to be told thoughtfully and fully. or we need to not be telling them, right? Like, we have to do it. We have to do justice by these stories. And it's disheartening to hear the ways that folks in the media are just not prepared

or not able or not willing to do that. I think it's really about not apologizing for wanting proper representation or not being cast aside as it being some silly thing that doesn't really matter because it matters. Because our culture is shaped by the things that we see. You know, how we view others, that's our window into the world. And so if you're

going to do the work, do the work. Don't go 50% on something that needs to at least be 120. If representation is the window to the world, then Kia is opening that window a little bit more. In the fall of 2022, she'll release her first picture book with Atria Books called Sam Supersedes about a little black girl with cerebral palsy, going back to school shopping with her mom and best friends. So the next generation of little ones with disabilities can see themselves reflected in the ways she wished she had when she was a kid. Keyes learned that sometimes you have to write the books you want to read and create the world you want to see. And even in a world full of people who can't see you can't see your joy or your dreams, you can always see yourself. Pretty much just trying

to follow every single dream because it feels like now anything is possible in terms of like me making sure that I always say yes to myself. Because somebody's going to say no, but I'm not going to be the one to do it. There are no girls on the internet was created by me, Bridget Todd. It's a production of IHeart Radio and Unbossed Creative. Jonathan Strickland is our executive producer. Tari Harrison is our producer and sound engineer. Michael Amato is our contributing producer.

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