There Are No Girls on the Internet - Kehlani shuts down right wing internet grifter Christian Walker and we’re here for it. Internet joy!

Episode Date: July 15, 2022

Everything is awful, so we’re starting a new thing: Something on the Internet that Doesn’t Suck, where we’re breaking down little moments of internet joy to bring a little light in these dark times. This week, singer songwriter Kehlani gave us all a masterclass in how to deal with internet projectors like Christian Walker.  What’s bringing you joy on the internet this week? Let us know! Want to support the show? (thank you!) Subscribe, tell a friend, leave a review, or buy some merch at There Are No Girls on the Internet’s store: TANGOTI.COM/STORE Join our newsletter: Tangoti.com/newsletter Say hello at [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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On the Internet. So today, is another week where everything feels heavy and awful and just too much. So, in response, I am trying at a new thing that we are tentatively calling something on the internet that doesn't suck, where I talk about something related to or on the internet that doesn't suck for once to distract myself from how depressing the new cycle has been. And today, that thing is celebrating Kalani. So this is one of those amazing times where something I love from music or culture intersects with some larger trend happening on the internet. Kalani is a musician, an icon, a songwriter.

And now we can add a master of combating internet grifters to that list of accomplishments because they went viral for shutting down right-wing internet quasi-selebrity Christian Walker in a way that was just chef's kiss. So let's talk about it. So here's what went down. Kalani was in their car at a Starbucks drive-thru in California,

one that they say they go to regularly. Now, Kalani is a person of color and identifies as queer, and they said that this particular Starbucks, it's decked out in pride and trans flags and happens to have a lot of young queer people of color working there. While they're in the drive-thru, Kalani spots none other than Christian Walker in the drive-thru in his car behind them.

Now, if you don't know who Christian Walker is, honestly, consider yourself kind of lucky. He is a black 22-year-old, I guess we'll call him a right-wing internet personality. He led a Gays for Trump rally back in 2020 in California. Even though technically he's not gay, he says that he is attracted to men and he is a man, but he doesn't identify as gay, which, whatever. You can kind of think of him kind of like Candace Owens times a thousand. He will just say whatever awful, hateful thing gets him an audience.

being obnoxious and over the top is the entire point with him. He also loves Starbucks. Going to Starbucks is his thing. If you don't know Christian Walker, you probably know his dad, Herschel Walker, who is currently running for Senate in Georgia. Herschel Walker himself is a real piece of work. Like, for instance, here's what he had to say about how air quality works to a bunch of funders just last week.

If we don't control the air, our good air decided to fall over to China, bad air. So when China gets our good air, their bad air got to move. So it moves over to our good air space. And now we got to clean that back up. So Christian Walker is kind of a right-wing

internet influencer of sorts, but I guess he could really more accurately be described as a right-wing grifter. His entire schick is going on social media, drumming up lots of outrage about wokeness by making super over-the-top Instagram and TikTok videos about the latest perceived threat or grievance posed by the blue-haired radical left.

He has amassed hundreds of thousands of social media followers doing this, and I actually bet it's pretty effective because we already know that social media platforms love outrageous content and definitely prioritize content that is outrageous or inflammatory or over-the-top, which he is. Christian Walker is also a podcaster. His podcast is called Uncancelable. Now, I've never actually listened to it,

but here are a few of the recent episode titles just to give you a sense of what we're working with here. An episode about the tragic school shooting in Uvaldi, Texas called, quote, they were innocent, unlike George Floyd. One about the recent Supreme Court ruling on Roe called, Oh, sorry, you can't slaughter your kid. And another on Elon Musk's deal to buy Twitter called,

if you oppose Elon Musk, you're a racist. Also, I should just say all of the titles to the podcast episodes are in all caps, which I'm not totally sure why I'm including that information. It just feels kind of relevant to note. Like even his podcast titled are just constantly yelling grievances at the listener. So this is someone who makes money, makes a living off of really engineering stunts to have a big outrageous reaction to, to get tons of clicks and engagement on social media, listeners to his podcast, boost his platform, rinse, wash, repeat. It's actually a pretty good scam, I bet. And he's the kind of right-wing scammer that I feel like we're seeing more and more of these days.

People who just live to exploit and inflame tensions and existing divisions for their own personal gain. It doesn't matter if it makes us more divided or more angry or less trusting. If it gets him eyeballs and clicks and listeners, he'll do it. People like Christian Walker make money doing this. This is their job. They're able to spin the attention and notoriety and engagement they get into building bigger and more lucrative platforms. And it's clear that this kind of tactic really relies on attention. Like that's how scammers like Christian have been able to gamify social media platforms,

just by doing the most and doing whatever it takes to make a huge big scene to get lots of attention. That is, until Kalani saw Christian Walker getting ready to do his thing in the Starbucks drive-thru and foiled his plans. Let's take a quick break. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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And that's not like your story versus my story. You're going to walk up and over that dang mountain. You're not just going to put your mind over it. Yep, yep, exactly. And if I can't walk up and over it, I'm going to go through it. Listen to Mind Over Mountain every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas.

And I'm C.J. Toledano, and our podcast Point Game is about defying the odds. Like LeBron heading into the playoffs without Luca and Austin Reed. And finding ways to win no matter what. He's the smartest player to ever play the game. His IQ is at a level that we've never seen before. And he knows. Without Luca and Austin Reeves, I got to manipulate the game. We get a player's perspective on the challenges of the playoffs. I think Joker's going to be exhausted this.

series because when they don't have Rudy in the lineup, he has to really guard guys like Nas Reid. He has to guard Julius Randall. And then he has to give us everything he gives us on the night-to-night basis on offense. And when IT's friends stop by, like Quentin Richardson, we dive into some playoff history too. Steve Nass would get that thing. That man, hell get the flying. He running up the court, licking his fingers why he got the bar like, you go through a training

camp with that, Isaiah. You figure it out real quick. Oh, yeah. Get your ass up and down the court. You're going to get the box. So listen to Point Game on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. At our back. Okay, so Kalani says they noticed Christian Walker behind them at the drive-thru

about to take a video of the Starbucks barista on his phone. Kalani noted that this particular Starbucks was still all decked out in Pride flags and trans flags for Pride last month. I see behind me that kid Christian Walker visibly losing his shit in the car via my two mirrors. Screen recording, I'm not screen recording, but doing this on his screen to zoom in and film the Starbucks workers and film all the flags that are in the Starbucks windows. This Starbucks is covered in gay flags, trans flags, like American remixed gay flags. I see him losing his shit the whole time, mind you, it's going slow as shit because there's so many people in the line. He proceeds to get to the little order box thing and it's clearly harassing whoever's behind the order box thing and like going back to his phone like and da-da-da-da. And I'm like, oh, I feel like this man is going to fucking.

come up to the window and harass all these workers. Now, I go to this Starbucks often, and I also know and can visibly see that everybody that works there is like of color, and a lot of them can't assume these things, but seem queer to me. Notably, Christian Walker himself celebrated Pride Month by posting a picture of himself giving the finger to some pride flags that he encountered out in public on Instagram. With the caption,

Stop expecting people to respect you if you shut down traffic to walk around the streets barely clothed. Now, Kalani says that they are familiar with Christian Walker's whole thing and saw him getting ready to take this video of a barista and all the pride flags. So they decided to warn the staff to let them know that, hey, this is a person who is a known provocateur who engineers little stunts for social media. They also called him an asshole. So I get to the window and I'm like, yo, just letting y'all know the guy behind me, that's that like Republican Trump supporter kid who has a habit of, like, harassing, you know, this community, even though he's a part of it, don't fucking, I just blows my mind.

I'm like, watch out, because he's coming up here with his fucking, his phone ready to record. They're like, yeah, I know that kid. I'm like, yeah, like, he's a fucking asshole. Like, because I've just watched him be an asshole for the last 10 minutes, right? So Christian must have heard this exchange because he got out of his car while still filming on his phone and had this verbal interaction with Kalani. Ma'am, ma'am, you don't need to tell baristas that I'm an asshole because I have an opinion.

Get your drink and go and go away. I can have an opinion like everybody else. Why are you entitled to an opinion and not me? You want to tell baristas I'm an asshole? Well, guess what? You're the asshole. You are an asshole. Get your drink and go.

Okay, so this is what I love. about how all this went down. Kalani says that they happened to be in the middle of a phone therapy session when this all started, and the session was all about the dangers of taking your anger out on other people. They had kind of an aha moment where they realized that they had ruined Christian Walker's plans to get some outrageous video at the expense of the Starbucks staffers, and that he was probably looking to film a big outrageous blowout with them instead. And I'm just having this aha moment with my therapist, and I'm going, I know what you want to do. you want to get a reaction out of me so that you can go viral

and then you can pose this as some kind of take on people with my political stance or assume political stance and people from my community, people like me, et cetera, et cetera. So Kalani did not take debate. They denied Christian the ability to have this big blowup that he needs to get attention and engagement on social media for his whole thing to work. And dude was pissed.

And I think Kalani also just shares a really great workable template for how we should be dealing with internet grifters like Christian Walker. When we don't give them the big reaction that they want, all the attention that they want, all the engagement that they want, it takes away their power. And now for the cherry on top. Christian tweeted out a video of his altercation with Kalani, calling them, quote, a mediocre singer that everyone has forgotten about. But, you know, who never forgets?

The internet. And Twitter user Nikisha R.G. had the receipts. because in 2016, Christian Walker wasn't saying that Kalani was a mediocre singer. In fact, he tweeted, I love Kalani so much. So I guess he's no longer a fan run. So in these dark times, I am really clinging to any little thing I can get to bring myself a little bit of joy, a little bit of a laugh, a little bit of spark when it feels like everything is on fire. And I really want to say, celebrate these little internet joys together. So listeners, what is bringing you joy online? I don't care how small or how petty or how silly it is. I want to hear about it. I want to make episodes about it. Please get in touch with me. Let's find ways to cling to joy together in a dark world. Let's bring the light to fight the darkness. Thanks so much for listening. Have a great week. If you're looking for ways to support the show, check out our merch store at tangoody.com slash store.

Got a story about an interesting thing in tech or just want to say hi? You can reach us at hello at tangoati.com. You can also find transcripts for today's episode at tangoity.com. There are no girls on the internet was created by me, Bridget Todd. It's a production of IHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative. Edited by Joey Pat. Jonathan Strickland is our executive producer. Tari Harrison is our producer and sound engineer.

Michael Amato is our contributing producer. I'm your host, Bridget Todd. If you want to help us grow, write and review us on Apple Podcasts. For more podcasts, from IHeartRadio, check out the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert. smiglin friends on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas. And I'm C.J. Toledano. It's our favorite time of the year on our podcast point game, the playoffs. We're digging into the biggest surprises of the season.

And I'm looking back on some of my greatest playoff moments. If we didn't talk ever again, I was part of it. You just understood. That's how personal it got. Wow. Then after that game seven, Marquis come into you, he's like, you know I love you, dog. You know, it's all love. This was just playoffs. This was just basketball. So listen to Point Game on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Ashanti Plummer from Fudderound and Find Out. This week, AZ Fud and I sat down with Step and Curry. Step talks pressure, confidence, and what it really takes to stay great.

There's different categories, I guess, so I'm like conditioning, shooting drills where you try to simulate kind of games. Look at her face. We have a love-hate relationship with those because you know you're getting something out of it. You don't look forward to those days. Listen to Futter Around and Find out on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history.

I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets. He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him. Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.