These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Breaking Chains of Emotional Addiction: Bizzie Gold's Guide to Purpose and Liberation | Season 3 Episode 321

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Send us a Text Message.Prepare to embark on a journey with Bizzie Gold, the visionary behind Break Method, as we peel back the layers of emotional addiction and the life-altering quest for purpose. In a world where past traumas silently script our future, we uncover the powerful influence of childhood experiences and discuss the potential of breaking free from the chains of generational patterns. My own perspective on choosing a life without children intersects with Bizzie's insights, offerin...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it grab a drink and take a seat the session begins now what is up people welcome to these fucking feelings podcast i am micah got producer crystal over here with me and our special guest busyy Gold. So how are you today? I'm doing pretty good.

I'm a little intimidated by you. And I really don't get intimidated by nobody. But I was listening to like some of your podcasts and stuff. And it's like I have, I live under a rock. So I don't know anything that goes on. And it's like i have i live under a rock so i don't know anything that goes on and it was like everything you guys talked about and it's like i listened to a couple and just kind of skipped through a couple and it was like like the depth and and intellect that it gets to i'm like um when they say ignorant ignorance is bliss i'm a clown because I live in a different state. You hear me? So to me, it was like, wow, it's so much stuff you don't think about when it comes to mental health. And, you know, people come up here and we have a whole bunch of conversations, but it's never been

to where like we intellectualize a lot of things, you know, and I feel like you do that a lot on your podcast. And to me, it's intimidating because I'm like, I don't even know, ain't Trump still president? Like, I don't even know who's in office. So anyway, before we go any further, one thing that we do do here, do do, is ask our guests to introduce themselves because we feel like no one can tell your story like you. I'm Fizzy Gold. I'm the founder of Break Method. I wear many hats and likely as you could tell from looking at my podcast, I like to look at points of intersection. So where certain things collide and I am certainly not a one trick pony. So it's sometimes been hard for me to explain what I do do because I do so many different things.

So at my core, I just want people to live lives free of emotional addiction and be able to accomplish things that call you into your purpose. I think so many times in our lives, what happens to us in the early childhood years ends up patterning us in a way that holds us back from what we're capable of. And I think our world and the social fabric that we find ourselves in is a testament to that. People are in pain, suicide rates are up, people are leaning into coping mechanisms. We can see just the evidences all around that people could be doing a whole lot more with their lives, right? Every single one of us has the ability to be a generational pattern breaker, but most of us don't ever do it. We stay stuck in our self-sabotage cycle and we don't ever get out of it. So I think at my core, aside from the delivery mechanism, like how I end up doing it, I'm here to help people tap into their purpose and heal,

not just their life, but the generations behind them for the good of the world. So, however, I can do that, be it through writing, through podcasts, through teaching, through break method, through more spirituality based things. I'll do it wherever, wherever I'm called to go, wherever I'm called to teach. I'll be there. That's pretty cool. I've been always one of those people like I really don't need a what do you call those things? A legacy. Like I don't need no legacy.

I'm good. I don't want no kids. I refuse to bring kids into this world. So that's something I won't do. But yeah, I guess it's pretty cool. Emotional addiction, though. So explain what that is a little more. In our early childhood years, between ages two and five, our brain hardwires a brain pattern that is a result of our early childhood input. So if we're thinking about examples of certain inputs, it would be anything our brain perceives as adverse or something that's negatively perceived. So something that either makes you feel hurt or scared or confused for our purposes. Just, um, I know that I can be kind of heady in how I talk about things. So I try to make sure that we're just still in down some definitions. So everyone

knows what we're talking about. So I'm going to, I'm going to take it down a notch. Everyone think of that moment in childhood, whatever that is for yourself, where maybe you were doing something that you felt you were in that pure innocent state, right? Maybe you were singing to a parent or you're going to a parent, like, look at this dance I choreographed, whatever it is, where you're not thinking about how it's going to be received. You're just in that pure innocence and curiosity state. When we're talking about adversely perceived, it's basically anything that conflicts with that. So if you think about how big that scope is now, most of the things you receive in childhood end up being somewhat against that idea, right? Where someone's

blaming or shaming you or saying, oh, don't do that. Or, you know, because of our religion, we don't do it that way or go put some clothes on. Why would you act that way? Most of what we're getting are ranging from subtle, maybe like mom's eyebrows or the way dad immediately says something to correct you all the way to physical discipline, even violence or addictive behavior in the household. So any of these things are going to contribute to that experience of going from that curious, innocent freedom to all of a sudden realizing I can't actually be myself. I do have to think about what I do before I do it. Maybe who I am is inherently wrong, right? Maybe something that my brain is telling me to do is bad. We've been a bad person. Once those messages start to formulate

in those early childhood years, like I said, ages two to five, it causes us to create what we call an emotional addiction cycle. So our emotional addiction cycle has three parts, an origin, a protective, and an escalating. So the origin response for everybody is going to be fear or some subset of fear, just that initial, uh-oh, something's going to happen. That could be anticipation. That could be observation where your brain's jumping to a conclusion about what's going to happen next. That's going to be pretty standard for everyone in the general population. Then you generate a protective response. For some, protective response is going to be anxiety where you're thinking, strategizing, what am I going to

do next? But for some people, your protective emotion is anger where you're not thinking, strategizing, you're reacting and lashing out and or correcting or offering criticism or feedback. So we're going to have the population split about 70-30. There's 70% going toward anxiety, 30% going to anger. There are other emotions that can exist there, but in general, those are the two most common splits. Then you're going to go to your escalating emotion, which is going to kick in when you feel that you've tried to anticipate it. It still happened. You tried to protect yourself and guess what? That stimulus is still coming at you. That's when the escalating emotion is going to kick in. So your escalating emotion for some people is going to be when you're more willing to

take risk, right? Maybe somebody who was a people pleaser and anxiety, all of a sudden, you're an escalating emotion and now you're dropping F-bombs. You're telling everybody all the boundaries that you should have said a week and a half ago, right? So that's an example of an escalation from anxiety where somebody might go from anxiety to anger. But on the flip side, let's say somebody had anger in their protective emotion. What you likely see there is either going to be anxiety or apathy because they're either going to realize, oh shit, I got to clean this up. Everyone's mad at me. I must have said something, even though I felt justified in the moment, everyone has turned on me. So I have to do something about it. So they're going to be spinning their wheels and anxiety thinking,

what am I going to do to fix this? I've got to cover up. I've got to defend myself. I've got to get people back on my side. I've got to go find allies. Or some people will go to apathy where they basically, we just call it the F it button. They're like F it all. Don't matter. There's nothing I'm going to do from here. And then maybe they lean into a coping mechanism like addiction, or they struggle with depression, can't get out of bed and don't want to brush their teeth because they're like, what's the message in their head would be. What's the point? I tried everything and I'm still here. So what's the point? So essentially that three, three step process is going to happen for every single one of us. And it happens cyclically. So we're just cycling through it all day long. And our brain is pushed into it by small, subtle things that

we're perceiving in our environment. Okay. Maybe your intimate partner's being a little bit more quiet and withdrawn this morning. And instead of just letting it unfold, maybe if anxiety is your protective emotion, you're like, Hey honey, what's wrong? Do you know that for a lot of people, what's wrong is the biggest trigger you can possibly set. What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you okay? For some people, are you okay? Is the number one way to push them into anger. Well, I was okay, but not now, right? Where now you're like, now I'm in my escalating emotion. I was trying to problem solve. And now you're poking and prodding me and asking me these questions.

Now I'm not okay. So we have to get ourselves to this place where we've effectively mapped and understood the way our brain will take in this information around us and push us into different phases of these emotions. Because once we're in that emotion, we can know exactly what behaviors, thought processes, decisions all match with that emotion. So once we have this all mapped out and we know what we do and when, it demystifies the process. So no longer can we say, oh, I don't really know how I'm feeling, or I don't know why I did that. Because in break method, you'll know exactly why you did it to a point where you'll be able to call BS on yourself. Oh yeah. I already know where I'm going to go next.

I'm going to do this. And my brain's going to try to tell me that it's justified because of X, Y, Z, but I already see the error and this is ridiculous. It's just a pattern. It's not real. I'm like, I did all that today. And that's the thing is we all do it all day long. The question is, are we going to do the work to understand what's driving the behavior? So I want you to think when you go put gas in your car, the gasoline is the energy source that makes your car travel.

Yeah. So the brain functions off of systems of language. So for our brain to take action, think, process, it's fueled by the source of words and language. So if you think about it, whatever your parents said to you repetitively becomes a foundation of language that our brain will then use. So some people, for example, deal with negative self-talk where their brain is just constantly like, you can't do that. You're going to fail. Did you double or triple check that? Typically that voice is generated from something that they experienced in early childhood.

So that voice isn't just completely naturally occurring or from nowhere. It was actually systematically programmed into that child's brain. Maybe because the parent thought they were protecting the child. Maybe the parent thought they were protecting their family's reputation, right? There's a million motivations here, but those words become beliefs. And then those beliefs become actions. And the more we run that loop, the further away we get from being aware of it consciously, and it just becomes who we fundamentally are. And unfortunately, we get to a place where in society today, I think there's been a big push to authentically own every

part of your personality where it's just like, that would just be you boo, like authentically own your personality instead of actually do the work to be like, no, these shadowy bits are ruining my life and others' lives. I shouldn't just authentically own them. I should do something about it. So I think we're at this turning point in society where sure, we can all make each other feel better and high five and be like, yeah, we're all messed up. That's part of the process of acknowledging we're not all alone in our brokenness, but something needs to be done about it. We can't just somehow justify, well, we're all broken, so let's just stay broken and all trauma bond in how broken we are. There are steps we can take to heal personally as a society. And I think right now, the man, the system, the society, whatever it is, for whatever reason, doesn't want us to actually heal. It just wants us to kind of stay stuck here and bond and how messed up our families were, our moms were, and then just radically on our personality. And it's,

frankly, it's not really you. It's a pattern that your brain's developed, but it's not who you were born to be. Right. As Micah says all the time. Well, I was just thinking she was on my, I, every time we kind of work together in the day job, but anytime a person goes to put their purse on the floor, I'm like, no, don't put your purse on the floor. Because it's something my mom told me my whole life or not just me. But, you know, I've always heard my mom say it. You know, the people like, no, don't get your purse off the floor. So I say it now and they're like, why? And I'm like, I don't know. Just don't do it. My mom's going to get you. But I know it's a crazy example, but it is the first thing that popped in my head.

It's a great example because technically there's a part of you that knows that's irrational your mom's not gonna pop her head out of a closet and be like by the way i'm gonna go take you know tell this person to correct their purse but your brain still thinks that nonetheless right right right it's a great example okay oh because yeah i'll be serious i'm like no don't do it but um well and then in turn you become your mom's voice because there's that chain reaction. You were programmed that way. So you think it now you're basically doing that to the person. Right, right, right, right. On how you said. When, you know, your mom or your dad keeps telling you things and then you learn how to believe it. I know this couple that they

have a child and they're constantly saying that there's something wrong with their son. And I say it all the time, like, I don't see anything wrong with him, but I believe that they keep saying it. And then it's like, they believe their self. And then now the kid believes that there's something wrong with them like he's always like oh well I can't have that because I have ADHD and I'm like

I think that it's true how a parent when they keep repeatedly saying like oh well you can't do this because of this and then when they grow up they're like well I can't do this because of this. And then when they grow up, they're like, well, I can't do this. That's where they get that from. I mean, it's similar to in the fitness wellness space. Think about how many times,

I don't know if anyone's ever tried to lose weight or work out or stick to something. We tell ourselves like, I just can't lose this last 20 pounds. Like I'm just stuck here. I'm just stuck here. And you're literally telling yourself I'm stuck here and your body's like, cool. So we're stuck here. And then your body listens and takes the cue and it does what you're telling it to do. So I think very often we miss these opportunities to see that we're actually telling ourselves to do something. And then we're literally becoming the self fulfilling prophecy because we're telling our body that which we don't want, but we're giving it as a directive. Like, do this.

So we do have to be careful about what we're not just thinking, but what we're speaking to others and speaking to ourselves because there is that chain reaction. And it does become a very tangible reality. Right. And on the topic of labels, because I think this is another thing where there are so many labels that are thrown around, especially toward children, right? All different types of learning disabilities, autism spectrum, ADHD, ADD. There are so many labels that if you allow yourself as a parent to put your child in that box, oh, well, my kid has ADHD. You start to justify and rationalize certain behaviors. Oh, well, they're doing this because they have ADHD. And you actually allow it and perpetuate it because you fundamentally don't believe they're capable of doing something other than that.

So I think labels in general, of course, I'm not saying, you know, tell your doctor to shove it. There's a time and a place for that, but labels can be not only disempowering, but it can rework the architecture of your brain and make you believe something about yourself that actually might not be true. Right. You, you actually become that self-fulfilling prophecy. Well, I have depression. I have bouts of depression. I have seasonal depression. Well, guess what? Your body's like, cool. So every winter we're going to go through a period of depression because we believe that's what is going to happen. Like, sure, we can keep that up. That's healthy. Yeah, that sounds good. Let's do that. I also had a thing with the school had told me that my younger daughter had ADHD and that's why like she was really hyper.

And I'm like, well, I can handle her. So I'm not gonna, you know, and we went to the doctors and I had brought it up that the school had said it and they were like, no, she's perfectly fine. I think a lot of people just can't handle the situation. So then they put a label on it because they want to cover it up or give it a reason on why the child's acting like that well and sometimes it's the teacher that teacher's teaching style might have brought that out in your daughter when maybe it wasn't there before with a different teacher because maybe she's bored maybe that teacher is not effective at keeping people's attention therefore she's inattentive kids they something

else like these kids born now you'd be like i can't even what you just say to me like you too like they are terrible right i'm like some kids are just but i guess you know once again it's something that you know is learned you know they're not born that way but still i still i'm like i can't it's a little bit of both right you're there are there are qualities that are innate that you're born with and then there are certain qualities that are innate that you're born with. And then there are certain qualities that are more nurture and how you're parented. And I think the reality, we use this analogy and break method that everybody comes in an uncarved block of wood. So if you were to imagine just kind of like a blob of a trunk, right? Eventually, everything that happens to

you slowly chips away at that and you become a sculpture, right? Everyone came in just kind of a block of wood and now you're a sculpture. That's a by-product of what you experienced in your life. There's always that like secret sauce that you were just made to be you. Like, like you were always going to be you, Crystal, you were always going to be you, but there's a part of you that did get shaped by your environment. And that shaping process is more likely to impact your personality, right? How your personality is expressed, your communication style, but somewhere inside of you, right? Like that person that thinks and sees the world around it, that is that uncarved block of wood that just has a little special something, right? That's

unique to each one of us. I do see, because I work with kids a lot in my practice, there is something different about these kids, right? That's, and it's not just environmental and how they were raised. These blocks of wood are different. Right. Definitely. I mean, I have two older children and Maddie's like middle age. And then I have the eight year old and the difference between my 21 year old and my 20 year old compared to them. It's like night and day. It really is.

The atmosphere of school is totally different. I think it's just, I think social media technology, all those things do play a role, whether we like it or not. Even parents that try to intentionally keep that stuff out of their kids' hands, you can't get away from it in our world. It will shape the world they live in and therefore how they see the world that they live in. So you can't really get away from it. And it does, it makes things more complicated and it does, it does put more pressure on kids from a very early age. Yeah. Right. Going with that, like destroying innocence and curiosity, that ability to just kind of like free for all and play around with your world. That's somewhat gone away. Like think

about a kid now at age five knows how to use google like we were out here in these streets trying to use physical maps and have pagers and stuff right like it's different let me get to that payphone hit me on my pager right like oh that's my mama paging me yeah code 9-1-1 yeah it is i i think that um my son he's 21 and he don't he has a little girl my granddaughter and you know he times her tv and stuff because he says the same thing that the facebook and all every technology he thinks it feeds thinks it feeds your brain. So she watches

Miss Rachel and stuff like that. She's two years old. She's consigning which I'm like, wow, where was this when my kids were growing up? Crystal is just the middle finger. She's pretty smart for a two-year-old.

You have real kids. And one thing, though, that's really cool about all her kids is that they all love the same. So it was like to see that in all generations, even though they're different, they all had the same compassion. They all love the same. So it's like that is a byproduct of nurture. How you show love and form attachment, that's 100 percent nurture. compassion they all love the same so it's like well and that is a byproduct of nurture how you show love and form attachment that's a hundred percent nurture so that's all your parenting good job mama bear yeah definitely she's a great mom i do believe and uh so like if the guidance

counselor calls me and they're like oh well do you what classes do you want for her and i'm like i'm not the one taking the classes. It's what she thinks she can do. I'm not going to say put her in the highest grade. If she flunks out, that's kind of on my part. And I'm always saying like, we can sit down with her and she could pick her classes out. And if she thinks she could do it, then she could do it. I mean, they don't get in trouble or anything. If they get bad grades, they could just try next hard or next time. But every single one of them I know are going to go somewhere. So that's amazing.

And they are. She's a really good mom. But enough about you. Let's get on with the program um no actually and it's funny i think i'm at that stage now so like i didn't get to go through all that innocence and figure out who i was when i was younger because i went through years and years of trauma so i had a really great family system but it was the outside family that kind of did a lot of things to hurt me and i was hurt by the outside world a kind of did a lot of things to hurt me. And I was hurt by the outside world a lot. So I grew up real tainted. And I think because of that,

I hurt a lot of people. So a lot of my life was about hurt. And now I'm at that point where it's like, okay, I want to heal and I want to grow. But all I got control over right now is me. You know? So it's like every day my focus is to be better than I was yesterday. It's like, I want to be a better person than I was yesterday, you know? And I've come a long way. I tell people, you know, to be as like, I hate to say it's like a sobriety kind of thing, but I've been in healing for two years now, you know, because it's steps, you know, to me, it's steps to us. You know, I think about like alcohol is anonymous and, you know, to me it's like, it's steps to us. I think about alcohol is anonymous. To me, it's like, it's HA, healing and steps in these kind of ways. But I don't know how to focus on anything other than me right now. And I feel am. And I'm trying to decide whether I'm OK with that or not, based on where I am right now. Like, am I OK with, you know, with this, with just staying in my world, knowing that the world outside of me is so crazy right now?

Well, I think it's going to be that choice is going to be different for every person. And I will say that from the break method perspective, one of our keystone concepts is the only thing in the world that you can control with 100% accuracy is how you choose to respond. Think about how many times people want to try to control or manipulate somebody else's actions or anticipate, work around, prevent. Everything's about trying to change an outcome in your world, almost like playing God, when the reality is we should be only 100% focused on how we're responding to our environment, right? We can't, our brains typically

won't let us be in the present moment, which is the only way for us to actually respond to what we're, right? We're out in the future. We're replaying the past. We're ruminating. We're projecting future outcomes. So from the perspective that you're in right now, where you said that you've been on this like two-year healing journey, I think it's an important step for you to realize, hey, for me, I need to have a boundary here because for me to work on these things and take it seriously, I can't get distracted with things outside of myself. But then the next step for you is the discernment to figure out when am I able to take a step out into the world and see if I can manage that relationship. So another thing that we believe is that you can't rewire a trigger that you refuse to be

exposed to. So I think sometimes people just go into avoidance like, oh, I'll cut those toxic friends out of my life. Oh, I'll stop using entirely and never be around it. Never talk to those people again. Those things can all be good for a period of time, but eventually you have to learn how to be around that stimulus and control your response to it. We can't always just avoid or escape. And I think I'm slowly doing that and I, and it's going to be a weird example with barbershops. So my whole life, I grew up molested a lot by men and several men and it happened for a really long time. And it was like people, they threatened my mom

and of course then my family and it's like I'm going to do whatever I got to do, but it happened, you know, it's like I didn't realize that how powerful the voice was. Basically, I didn't realize for a long time how powerful just speaking up was, how powerful saying no was or, you know, this isn't right. And those things I learned that really, really, really, really late in life.

And I forgot where I was going with this. We were talking about being exposed to something rather than just avoiding it. So because of like all these things happen to me and I was always men, I always had female barbers, always had female barbers. But lately, I actually, so me and my female barbers just broke up recently. And it's pretty funny. We broke up because of kind of politics and the world stuff. You know, it's like she is a big activist and, you know, she's Afro-Latina and she's into reparations and all that kind of stuff. And to me, I feel like my answer is right now, I don't have nothing to do with that. Like that's between America and who they owe it to,

you know, like Micah can't control that. So I don't think about it. And because of that, she didn't want to cut my hair no more. Put in an awkward situation had to find a new barber right okay so yeah because of that it made me racist I was automatically racist and I'm like I'm probably every culture in the world but it ruined my relationship with my female barber so I decided I needed a new barber and I kind of just went on this app and the guy had five stars. And I said, OK, I know it's going to be hard, but I got to do this. I don't like being touched by men, which is crazy because I'm gay. But that's another day for another conversation, right? I could do a whole other episode on that and break that up.

Right, right, right. I'd invite you back for that one. But I do not like being touched by men. So I knew that by doing this, I knew that i could find another female barber but it was like it was it was something about this time that i felt like okay i need to start trying you knew it was an opportunity right and but the the drama and the like i get sick and like i'm nauseous and i get so anxious in this chair that i just want to run out the door you know and then i realized like I'm nauseous and I get so anxious in this chair that I just want to run out the door, you know? And then I realized like, I'm gonna look real crazy if I leave in the middle of this haircut. But it is, it is, it's like, I feel like I'm slowly putting myself out there. I'm still

having really, really traumatic responses to things. Cause you know, it's so triggering, you know? And then it's like, you know, like him pushing my head or, you know with it's so triggering you know and then it's like uh you know like him pushing my head or you know i mean he doesn't do it that rough but you know when he needs me to look down you know it's like he doesn't tell me he does it like with his hands and it's like it's no like you're trying to control me and i go into like this crazy traumatic and then it's like now it's like i haven't scheduled my next haircut hence the hat and it's like, I need to, but it's like,

Ooh, I need a break from that experience. I need it. I needed a break from what, like, I feel like I'm going to die in a barber chair. And I don't know. What does your internal self talk sound like as this is taking place? Like,

let's say he just pushed your head to the side and he pushed your head to the other side and you're starting to kind of go into the panic place. What is, if I could hear your thoughts, what would your thoughts sound like um honestly i think my thoughts are more of trying right now lately is more of like calm down and run type of thing but it's my first thought is to run like there's so many times like it's like the door is there i just need to get up and go like i just it's taking so long i just need to tell him to stop tell him to stop. But like, it's taken so long, you know, he's doing, he's touching me, you know, it's like, especially it gets so awkward when it gets around the lips and now he's like right here

in my face and he's looking and it's like, and it's like, oh my God, I close my eyes normally, but it's still like, but my instinct is to run. That's the first thing. It's like, run, you know, like run. Here's, here's one thing that you can do. It's a tool that we call Eli. So what response you're having is obviously emotion-based. It's your protective emotion, right? You want to run. And what needs to happen is we need to be able to rewire that emotional response with logic. So in my teaching, I give an example of me having this sort of reaction with people tickling me. It like, because of what happened to me when I was a child, if someone tries, not now, cause I've worked through, but if we went back like six years ago, if someone tried to tickle me, my instinctive response is

literally to punch some, like, I would want to get into a space, like how dare, like literally lose my, lose my mind, um mind over just a simple little touch. So I understand where you're coming from. I'll give the example the way I give it in my teaching with the tickling, and then we'll turn it on you. You good with that? Yes. Okay. So my uncle is the one that used to tickle me nonstop to the point where I just felt all my personal

space and boundaries are violated. And it would happen on and on and on, even up until the point where he was not that much older than me. He had friends that I had crushes on it. Just, it was too much and he would never listen to me. So my reaction to tickling was very much that anger response of GTFO. I'm going to cut you sort of response. So let's take that. That was the last time I saw him. I might have been like, let's say 10. I'm 39 now.

So it's been a while. Yeah. So 39, I got four kids. My oldest is about to turn 14. My youngest is two. You're going to get some more snaps for that. You get some more snaps for that. Pretty soon I'm going to be 40. So if I look at a situation, I'm going to go compare, contrast two scenarios. Let's say scenario number one, I know myself well enough

to know that I have a response to being tickled that is over the top, not rational, right? If my young five-year-old wants to tickle me, I shouldn't want to physically harm them. That's not rational. Agree? So I also should therefore not want to do this to my husband. So let's give a situation. Let's say I'm at home. I'm on my desk typing on my computer. My back is to the door. I feel somebody tickle my back. If I was doing it the way you were doing it, I'd just be like, don't run. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Remember how we said that the brain functions on systems of language. I want you to imagine that in your brain, you have both a prosecutor

and a defense attorney, right? So you have like these two attorneys that are constantly battling each other. The prosecutor is the one that's like, nope, you're in danger. This guy could molest you too. You should run. You should run. Then the defense attorney sucks right now, has no voice, no good argument. Maybe you can't even hear the defense attorney. The defense attorney, we need to be able to turn up the volume and boost the language of the defense attorney so that you can actually learn to stay and learn that you can have a different experience, right? So when we're just saying, don't run, don't run, don't run, that's not actually attacking the language of the prosecutor. The prosecutor's language is

very specific. So just masking it with don't run, or you can do this, like some sort of positive affirmation, like you got this, Micah, you don't have five more minutes. That's not actually breaking apart language. All you're doing is masking it and trying to white knuckle it and be like, we're going to get through this. So in this scenario where I'm sitting on my bed, my back is to the door. I feel a tickle on my back and I know I'm trying to work through this trigger. I have to actually ask myself as annoying as it is a series of logical questions so that I can stop my body from responding emotionally. So number one, is this my uncle? No, this is not my uncle. I've not seen my uncle for what is that? 20 plus years. So it's definitely not my uncle.

So in this situation, obviously it sounds like you had multiple perpetrators, but it sounds like it's been a long enough period of time that that was significantly in your past, correct? Correct. So in your situation, you could kind of bulk them all together and been like, my brain is reacting to a grouping of these men that I have not had in my life exposed to me for 15 years, right? Like give it some arbitrary timeframe, right? So for me, it's, is this my uncle? No, it's not my uncle. Am I in a safe place?

Yes, I'm at home. Is this about the time my husband would come home from work? Yes. Is this probably my uncle? No, it's not my uncle. Am I in a safe place? Yes. I'm at home. Is this about the time my husband would come home from work? Yes. Um, is this probably my husband? Like safe bet. Is this probably my husband? Last question. Does my husband want to piss me off right now? I don't know. I'm going to have to turn around. Right. So to answer that question, maybe he is trying to piss me off. I don't know, but maybe he's just trying to get my attention. So I have to turn around and actually consume who he is and what his presentation is with my eyes. So you, your problem is that you're trying to kind of like mask and just be like, don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Which to your brain sometimes makes it louder. Cause it really,

you're not, it's not feeling like you're addressing the safety need. You're just telling it, don't do that. Which if you think about if somebody is changing and they're like, don't look at me, what are you going to do? You look at the person naked, right? It's like the number one thing not to say. I've seen so many boobs in my life. So many boobs. So then we get ourselves to this place where we have to, we, we have to, again, address the logical thought line rather than just don't do it. Don't do it because then the brain just wants to do it more. Like internally, we're all just kind of this like rebellious child that wants to do what we're told not to do. So we run through these questions. And now that you say it that way though, or in you saying this,

I can see how there's no healing there. Like I'm not healed. No, no, exactly. Right. So if you were like, is this a person, is this barber a person that physically molested me? No. Did I choose to be in this chair right now? Yes. Is this an opportunity to rewire my response to this trigger? Yes. Um, did, and here's another one for you, by the way, did I advocate, did I advocate for myself to this person and let him know, like how I need him to talk to me? Because you probably didn't, right? You're just trying to get through it. So another example could be like, Hey, you know, I just have some, some trauma that I'm working with. If you could just tell me what you're going to do before you do it, even if that's annoying, like that would really help me a lot. Then he'd be like, you know, I'm going to move your head to the left and move your head to the right. It actually would build some safety. But I think part of

your issue is that you don't speak up those things. You just hold it together and you just try to get through it, which is crazy because I don't have no problem saying nothing else to nobody else. But this is a place of vulnerability for you. Yeah. So it's like if you're if it's in an area like career or something where you can, you're more of the authority figure, easy. But if it's a situation like this where you're essentially in the power dynamic, you're the one that's being served by the other person. It's a totally different scenario. So I run through these questions. I turn around, I have to actually look and like consume what the person's mental state is before I make a decision.

He's got a big smile, shitting grin. I'm'm like, Hey honey, how's it going? Right. I had to talk myself through that because my instinct was get the fuck off of me. Right. I wanted to completely freak out, but I talked to myself through it. I see that he's smiling. I'm like, Hey honey, how's it going? So then I've navigated through that. But as soon as I start going through the logical questions, my body has actually stopped distributing the chemicals, the neurotransmitters that would make me continue to react. So this is based off of a theory where for people that have ever, I don't know if you've ever taken any self-defense classes, but if anyone's ever attacking you, you're supposed to ask that person a question that has a very specific answer,

like what color is an orange? Because their brain can't not listen to you. And it will pull them out of their emotional response and into logical thinking because they're like, they want to rape you. They want to kill it, whatever it is. They're in their deep emotional response. But if you throw it like, what color is the sky? What color is an orange? It will actually disrupt that flow of neurotransmitter. And for a moment, it might actually disable them just enough for you to get away. So why don't people know this? Micah, this is a question I ask myself all the time. Whenever people come to break, they're like, why isn't break everywhere? Everyone needs to know this. So I'm with you. I try, I'm, I'm trying to be out there spreading the word. No, definitely. Here I was scared of you. And I'm like, okay, you over over here i done healed already in like what

it's been 37 minutes girl you good thank you and i will i'm gonna give you access to some videos too because i think specifically on this topic because you're actually allowing yourself to be exposed to it right now you could rewire it super fast so now i've looked at my husband he clearly wants to be sweet i I've now stopped that flow of neurotransmitter. I haven't taken an action, right? I didn't physically hit him. Great. I didn't yell at him. I didn't give him attitude. I didn't let my eyebrows judge him. I just said, hey, honey, how's it going? And maybe for the first 10, 20 times running through that was really challenging. But eventually I'll get myself to a place where once I'm already on that first

question, my brain's like, no, we we good. We keep going. Now I want to go to a second situation because this shows that the way we're labeling the stimulus, which in this case for you would be the barber or like for me, whoever is tickling me, there's a scenario in which your initial response was the right one. Okay. So now same, I'm me. I still haven't seen my uncle. Everything's the same. I'm still married to my husband, but now it's girls night. And I went out to the bar with my friends. Okay. So now I'm out at the bar with my girlfriends. We're sitting there chatting. Somebody, I feel somebody tickled me on the back of my rib cage. Is this my uncle? Still not my uncle. Am I in a safe place? Not particularly. Is your husband with you? Nope.

And can you see all of your girlfriends right now? Yeah, they're all in front of me. Is there a chance this is some dude trying to push up on you? Yes, there is. Maybe I should turn around. So I turn around and of course, yes, it's someone trying to touch me without my permission. And in this case, my anger response is not arbitrarily to my uncle. I've now worked through it where now I'm actually trying to protect myself for the right reason. It's genuine self-advocacy. And I'm like, if you touch me again, I'm gonna break this glass on your head. Thank you. Have a nice night. That doesn't actually make me feel physically the same way as if I were to randomly snap back at somebody for tickling me. It's not actually the same neurotransmitter pathway is not

happening. So I'm still rewired myself by being like, this is not my uncle. We need to actually take a beat here and get the full picture before you respond. And then even if I choose to still respond out of anger, it's not actually fulfilling that same emotional addiction cycle. So do you see the difference? But being able to run yourself through these questions is so important. And I think in this scenario with the barber, again, like, do you see where you could ask yourself maybe like three or four simple questions to the point where then you can say like, is this, you can tell you're old enough now you've had enough life experience. You can tell when someone has genuine creepy vibes.

By the time you've gotten yourself four questions deep and you're like, do I genuinely feel like this guy has shown any sort of push up on me, cross my boundaries sort of vibes? No, I don't. So am I safe right now? And is this an opportunity to rewire this? Yes, I am. I take a deep breath and I'm going to enjoy this process.

That's going to be a very different end result than don't run, don't run. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Yes, I am going to take a deep breath and I'm going to enjoy this process. That's going to be a very different end result than don't run, don't run. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Cheerleading doesn't actually break apart theological thought. We got to actually show our brains that we're actually not being reasonable right now. Right, right, right. She gets another snap. Another snap for that. Okay. A couple more snaps. What's crazy though is because I was thinking about, I'm in this phase where I kind of love everybody. So I don't ever feel like I'm in harm's way. I don't know why. I know it's such a dangerous place to be in.

But so I started to realize, like, in my life, every time I have done something, I was always the best version I was of myself at that time. So if I believe that about me, then then naturally have to believe about others you know so it's so it's like because of that i'm very like forgiven and just kind of like easy and you know it's like it's there's a reason behind it i don't know what this person's going through they have something they need to heal from i don't think i could teach them a lesson you know let's just kind of keep it moving so i think that it that will be hard to kind of rewire because i'm in that phase right now like i'm still working on my rewiring but child is a mess up in there so a couple things so with break method the thing that we focus on

first and foremost is mapping each person's brain pattern type. So we've found that everyone in the whole world can be distilled down to five brain pattern types. I already knew from you talking for a little bit, which brain pattern type you were, but even your sexual abuse history falls directly into that brain pattern type. And from what it's worth, it's the same one that I have. So there are certain behaviors where once we understand what that person's brain pattern type is, I can predict all of your future behavior to a point that would probably freak you out. And because we can do that, that's how we can effectively know exactly what needs to be rewired. So even what you've just described where you said that it's a phase that you're going through, but my suspicion is that that's probably something that you're more inclined to do more than another person anyways, which is to be potentially overly optimistic or to try to see the best in people.

This can be a setup, right? You can try to be so glass is half full that you end up getting blindsided or do something that makes you in retrospect feel naive. Like, shit, I should have seen that coming. Why? Like, how did I get myself into this situation? So I do think that that's where from the break method perspective, we need to understand each person's, the, again, that kind of map, if you will, of how a thought process becomes an

action, then that action kind of triggers the next phase of their emotional addiction cycle. Because while that quality on its own seems really positive that quality possibly could be working against you if it just is allowed to exist and is automatically looked at as purely positive right and i was going to say because i usually see it coming i just let it happen like i'm that person because i'm in this point where it's like you know i want to you know it's like i don't know what that person's going through but i always like i always know i always, there's the instinct. Yeah, I knew it was going to happen that way or I knew this was going to happen. I always tell people like, I don't know, I'm really horrible about like allowing myself to have intuition or allowing my intuition to be present.

Maybe like I have it, but I don't listen to it. You know, I'm like, because I'm always thinking about like the other person. Like, is am I going to trigger something in them because of this intuition? Mm hmm. You know, so it was like, oh. Well, and for that reason, I think a lot of people struggle with intuition because they haven't done the work to figure out where it's contaminated by fear and programming. Like, where is the actual line? How do I know definitively that this is

intuition versus maybe just an assumption or a fear I have about this person? It's challenging, but I will say that by the end of break method, that's something that clients typically report is that I actually know when I'm having real intuition now because they've sorted through all those things and they know how to recognize when a message is more fear-based or where it fits more into their pattern versus this is like a like true intuition does not come from the gut you know how they'll say like you know like a gut feeling my clap back to that is the only thing that's coming from your guts is your poop issues and your IBS and your constipation. I was about to say that. Usually it means I got to go to the bathroom. Yeah. So as much as like, I, I want to honor that people really feel that way,

but just logistically on the physical and spiritual energetic levels, that's not where your intuition is coming from. That's more your instinct and instinct and intuition are very opposite of each other. And typically true intuition, right? Like that little magical spark of something that you shouldn't know, or like a, a piece of information that is outside of something that you've learned in a book, right? It's something that you shouldn't know. That information is often going to be in direct conflict with your instinct. Instinct wants to keep you safe.

Intuition typically asks you to take some serious risk and go into places that you typically would avoid. So that's one of the steps that I try to work clients through is how to discern the difference between instinct and intuition, because they are they're very contaminated for most people. They can't tell the difference and you can learn how to recognize the difference by going through and mapping them. So now I guess let's talk about break a little more. So just logistically, how break works or how to what you want, who benefits from it, who should try it, why we should try it, you know. So I'll tell you from the perspective of people that come through break, their feedback is every person on the planet needs to take break. They feel like it's owed to the community on the planet Earth as a whole is that if every single person took break, we'd live in a completely different world because people would be offering with people have been working toward awareness. And my joke is kind of many of

them just become more self-aware assholes, but they don't actually change their behavior. Self-awareness only takes you up to a certain point. At a certain point, you have to actually fundamentally rewire and start acting different. Otherwise, we're just justifying the things that we know we do, but we're doing them anyways. So break method can be used on individuals, couples, or families. So we work with families, even with kids as young as toddler age. I think break method is incredibly effective for couples who feel like they're at the end of their rope, they're nearing divorce, or have had a terrible experience with more traditional talk therapy, couples therapy. We've found that break method cuts through that he said, she said triangulation, and it actually

gets people to completely heal and restore their relationship and understand where the other person's coming from instead of let's let your partner have a chance to talk, which is just like this very patronizing where naturally the therapist can be inclined toward, even if they're not aware of it, they get pulled into one person's narrative. They end up picking sides, even if they don't want to pick sides. Break method by the nature of it being a data analytics approach and it being highly structured, it makes it so that the behavior strategist cannot get involved. They don't get entangled with it because everything's just data. So the person that's facilitating the healing of that relationship, they can't infuse

that relationship or their story with their own personal experience of it. And that's very intentional because I think far too often the therapeutic experience gets broken down because the therapist starts to see themselves in the client or they can't, they can't see past their own lens. And then they're subjectively right through their own experience, seeing what the client is saying. And they're just, they're reading into it. They're primed to see certain things that might not be there. Break method is built to prevent client self-deception. So self-deception is when we're lying to ourselves, but we don't realize we're lying to ourselves, right? We can't see out of it. All we end up experiencing is the pain of the repetitive mistake, but we don't realize we've done something wrong until we're getting slapped in the face.

So break method helps through that set structure, show you where the errors are in your thinking and why you're getting slapped in the face and why you think this is justified. But this is the very thing that's going to cause the situation that you don't want to be in so that you have an opportunity to do it differently. So couples have an absolute game-breaking shift with break method. We work with couples of all ages, but I would say in general, where we can be most effective are couples that have been married and want to save their marriage, right? Like both, there needs to be something where to me,

the more on the rocks things are, the more break will work for you. If you're like, Hmm, I just want to do some general self-exploration. Break is not as much for the crowd. That's like, I just want to generally self-explore mostly because not that those people won't have anything to gain from it, but because they might perceive that they don't have much, like they don't have that much to get out of it. Therefore they're not willing to fully immerse themselves in it. Right. Like things aren't that good, but they're not that bad. They're just kind of in complacency. I prefer to work with couples that are like,

we're about to get divorced. We've got five kids. I'll do anything to save my marriage because they're going to actually roll up their sleeves and do the work. So we welcome those emergent situations that some people would be like, maybe you're better suited for this. Not that I want people to be in dire straits, but when you're at a certain phase of desperation, I can help you better and faster because we can just cut the shit and get to work. If you feel like, oh, well, I'm doing a little of this, a little bit of that. I'm going to go do an ayahuasca ceremony. It's hard for me to work with you at that point because you're not all in. Like if you're not going to be all in, I can only do so much with you. So then with the families,

we work with whichever, you know, sometimes it's one parent and all the kids, sometimes it's mom and dad, sometimes it's mom and mom, you name it, whatever it is, we'll, we'll work with that family system. And then we also train and certify coaches, therapists, and other mental health professionals in break method. Okay. I feel like I don't know if I'd be good for it right now. Cause my brain won't shut up. And I think that's my issue with any therapy or anything that i ever want to try i mean i think that's why you need to do break really because i'm like and then i'm meditating about what my meditation room is gonna look like yeah i i think you need to do break i will gift it to you if you take it seriously okay yeah because something look something no pressure except pressure let's

do it no no no definitely i mean so that so your your brain wandering into kind of more that escapist imaginary thinking that's it's a different form of it but that's basically adhd like what would get qualified as adhd where it's like i don't want to focus on this so i'm gonna it's avoidance but you're avoiding into something that makes you feel good right right so another way of saying it would be squirrel right you're trying to meditate it's squirrel squirrel squirrel your mind can't stay focused for me for me it's fish fish fish fish fish and somewhere in there is like I also take care of the world my my world, you know, I'm like the, I'm like the matriarch of our family. I think you are for everybody though. For everybody. It's like,

everybody comes to me for everything. So it's like, I never have time for myself. So when I do have time for myself, I'm still thinking about everybody else. Which just fits the pattern that I already thought you were. So it's the abandoned, hold it all together pattern. So deep down, you know, you don't have to admit this out loud, but basically with the abandonment pattern as the origin, low level of trust in others, not that you can't love people because you're definitely a deep lover, but inherently like you just, you feel like someone's probably going to do something wrong or let you down. So you're putting everything on your plate and you're going to be that glue. You're going to be the peacekeeper. You're going to be the mediator. But that same reflex is what

can get you into a situation where that pattern type is the most likely to experience prolonged sexual abuse and not say anything about it. Because that same thing that makes you just hold it all together and be the glue is the same thing that goes into the fawning response during a sexual abuse event. Like I'll just get through it. I'll just get through it. Because that same thing that makes you just hold it all together and be the glue is the same thing that goes into the fawning response during a sexual abuse event. Like, I'll just get through it. I'll just get through it. So there are ways, obviously you can rewire anything, but with you, the keys are going to be learning what a boundary is and what boundaries are reasonable, how to actually speak that boundary when the boundary needs to be spoken and how to also let certain things fall apart. Cause you should, it shouldn't all be your responsibility, right? There are probably ways that you're enabling people in your family by being the matriarch. You're enabling them to not have to handle their own shit because they can

just depend on you too much. So there are ways that you're- You know what my problem is with that though is guilt. Because I feel like- Well, of course. Like say something monetary, like someone's like, hey i need three hundred dollars for my light bill i don't you know or like crystal not that she asked for money but her light bill would be like eight hundred dollars i just wanted to say that like she has the world's largest light bill i guess everybody does i think when you have 18 kids that's what happens um but yeah she like her life feels like nine hundred dollars like who pays

that it was six but it was six hundred isn't that crazy like i feel like the most i've ever paid was like 103 you're like so it's been yeah so the guilt the guilt sets in but the reality is that there's no i feel like i'm gonna go buy it sorry to finish that thought and yeah before it's just that i always feel like okay i can give it to this person who needs lights or i'm just gonna buy myself another coach bag like uh you know and it's not that i have the need to spend or anything like that it's just that i know if i see something i like i'm gonna get it and it's like but i could just give it and be helpful but it's like i now i am enabling because i keep being helpful but it's like that it's still that. But it's like, now I am enabling because I keep being helpful,

but it's like that, it's still that guilt feeling. I'm like, I'm just going to spend it on something stupid. Well, and I think here's the reality is that's where we would figure out when to do it and when not to do it. Because it's not like it's always bad. There's a time and a place, but the question will also be,

even if I would just go spend this on something else, is this choice for this particular person in this situation actually benefiting them? So for example, paying my mom has been in and out of addiction my whole life and there she'll be great for a year and then it'll be horrible for a year. And I've learned that I could just pay for her forever, but that's not reasonable. It doesn't help her. It doesn't help me. So I have to be very specific. I'm, you know, example would be, I'm going to pay your rent at sober living for the first three months. And the next three months you're going to pay half. And then after that, no matter what happens,

no matter what sob story you give me, I have to be done on this date. We good. And then I have to do the work to hold myself to that because my brain will want to backpedal and be like, Oh, but she's your mom. Like you can afford it. This isn't really putting you out. That doesn't mean it's helping her. So it's, it has to be less about what you could do with that money and more like, is this choice actually, even if it's helping them in the short term, is it hurting them in the longterm? And a lot of the choices that we're doing with this brain pattern type that you and I have, they would hurt people in the long term. Right, right. Because it's the nice thing to do, but it's not ever teaching them how to do it on their own. No. And I said, yeah, I was one that was like 2024 is the

year. No for me. I don't think I said no yet. And like we hear him, it's about to be March tomorrow. I'm still saying yes. So now before we wrap up, we get to a close. You know, one thing about our show is that we're often watched by people who are thinking or interested in healing or feeling like, hey, I might need to do something. Life just isn't right, but doesn't quite believe in mental health. And, you know, they have a curiosity about it. What would you say to that person to pursue that intuition or that instinct of, yeah, you need help? You know, I feel like in a way we all do and we all kind of need to kind of, like you said, rewire something.

The reality is every single person can benefit from something like this. And even if your life isn't completely falling apart and it's not a complete dumpster fire and it's just a curiosity, mark, however, years old you are. Do you want to spend the rest of your life like that with your light dimmed, repeating bad decisions, dating the same guy or girl over and over again, even though their name or their hair color has changed? Or do you want to free yourself and cut the shit and change the rest of your life? It's literally your one decision away from just saying, I want to cut the shit and actually heal. And for a lot of people, and I would say my entire business is built off of people that don't believe in traditional talk therapy or have not had positive experiences there.

There's a way to get this done that isn't talking about your story and your feelings all the time. There is a way to do it. That's a lot more process oriented, kind of like get in, get out efficient, where it's not just going to be passing a tissue box and then like, see you next week, see you next week. For a lot of people, that is the thing that holds them back is like, yeah, but how, but how long, like, what is that going to look like? We are the, we are the opposite of the see you next week.

You give me 16 to 20 weeks and you'll be on your way for the rest of your life. So take the chance. You really don't have anything to lose. You only have things to gain. Okay. And I believe because I went and I seen a therapist and I repeated the same story over and over and over because like one left. So I had to tell a different person and then that person left. And then I had to tell a different person.

And it came to the point where I just gave up and I just stopped going because it was just the same point. And then same thing, all that gets brought back up of the reason why you're in there. And then they're talking about it and they're like, oh, well, you know, here's this medicine and here's this medicine. And by the time I was on eight different types of medicine and I was like a zombie. So, and I know this might be hard for some people to hear, but that, so that's called narrative, right? Where you're just telling your story over and over again. It's basically unusable. That holds no valuable information. That's all subjective. It doesn't hold the data that actually will set you free.

So there's a very specific way to get out what did make you, you completely separate of your story. So like in break method, you would never have to do that. The first appointment is 20 minutes long. I get everything I need in 20 minutes. And at the end, people are like, Oh my God, that was it. That was actually fun. So imagine doing that. And then I have everything I need where now we're just getting to work and we're almost, we're looking at your brain pattern mapping more like a lawyer and a detective, like where, how can we roll up our sleeves and look at this more like a detective more like a lawyer and a detective like where how can we roll up our sleeves and look

at this more like a detective or like a scientist rather than be in it experiencing the feelings because ultimately the feelings are part of what's keeping you stuck and hooked into it right that's what's making you act like that emotional addict i actually had a really great therapist i just want to say they are some good therapists in this world for sure there are some good ones she um uh i saw her for two years before she broke up with me but one thing that she did i love that you're that's hold it all together you're here you're here fighting for that therapist and she broke up with me she broke up with me but you know what her mission was she realized kind of i didn't talk you know that was my biggest thing i didn't talk i always kept everything inside you my biggest thing. I didn't talk. I always kept everything inside, you know, I can have a conversation, but I never really said anything. And that's to her,

it's like, you're giving me words, but you're not saying nothing. Once I started being able to talk, she says, now talk to the world, you know, talk to the people you love, go out there. And, and, and it was really cool. I thought that was a really cool, you know, she never really tried, she didn't put me on medicine, all those kinds of things. It was just like, she just wanted me to open up. And now she realized, okay, your family needs to hear these things, or you need to talk to people you love. And I thought that that was kind of, and it's what started me on my journey, you know? So I kind of, you know, so I just want to say that a little bit. And I train therapists literally all the time. So I know that there are amazing therapists out there.

I just think that in general, the trend in talk therapy has become a turnoff to a lot of people. And there's a time and a place for it. And then there's also a time and a place for other modalities as well. Yeah, definitely. And I think that's kind of what our basis and our podcast is built on is that there is a method for everybody. And as long as you're out there searching for your method, I believe you're going to find it.

You know, and hey, it sounds like if you don't want to break, then break, you know? So I'm definitely going to try it out. And so we'll be in contact about that. Yeah. Thank you so much for being on. I'm going to list all of your contact details,

of course, in the episode. Any final words for our audience? Last things that you want to say? Just don't, don't sleep on it. This life can be amazing. And I just, I go back to what you're saying about, I don't want to have kids because of the way the world is right now. We have to remember that we do have the ability to change the world. And sometimes they can feel like the world is this boogeyman that's out of control. But when you take the steps to heal yourself, you can start to see where you can make an impact in changing the world. And I just I want that for everybody. My my podcast tagline is build the world you want to live in.

Don't just complain about it. So I think if we can become less complainers and more doers, builders, the world will ultimately heal. So that's it. All right. Cool. And also, yes, your podcast is amazing. I'm going to listen to it. I'm going to continue to listen to it. I feel like just disclaimer, there's some wild stuff on there. Like I don't, I'm willing, I'm willing to go to all the dark places that a lot of people won't go. So just know that i'm here for the deep conversations uh and that might ruffle some feathers so just just know that definitely like your barber would want to cut me is basically the barber that fired you she would really not like me like we have those conversations up here all the time so our audience is used to it look we're just a little different because like i said

i live under a rock so i don't even know who the president is um but yeah your conversation your your podcast is really really amazing i don't think he knows who he is either i don't know i hear that all i know is they say he falls upstairs a lot and i just think it's hilarious like how do you fall up the stairs but But anyway, thank you guys for watching. Busy, thank you so much for being on. And we will see you next week. Thank you. Peace, love, and blessings.