These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Embracing Your Innate Essence: Elaine Glass on Self-Discovery, Healing, and Balancing Empathy and Self-Care | Season 3 Episode 338

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

Have you ever wondered how tuning into your true essence can transform your life? In this powerful episode, we welcome Master Life Coach Elaine Glass, who shares her lifelong journey of listening and helping others, from her childhood playground to her current role as a life coach. Elaine introduces us to the concept of "beingness" and emphasizes the critical importance of recognizing and nurturing this innate essence despite the noise of the external world. Through her own life experiences, Elaine illustrates how connecting with our true selves can help heal wounds and navigate the complexities of empathic sensitivities.Elaine and I candidly explore the emotional and psychological challenges of prioritizing self-care, especially in the face of severe trauma, health issues, and societal pressures. We discuss setting boundaries, overcoming feelings of guilt and abandonment, and the transformative power of rest and quiet. This episode highlights real-life stories, including a cancer survivor’s journey, to illustrate how shedding burdens and embracing love can lead to a lighter, more joyful existence. Our conversation emphasizes the need for self-love and honest communication, breaking the silence surrounding abuse, and balancing giving with receiving to maintain one's health and soul.Finally, we dive into the necessity of empathy, non-judgment, and self-acceptance in personal growth. Reflecting on my own experiences and those of our guests, we underscore that true healing happens when we prioritize our well-being. From understanding the impact of childhood abuse on adult relationships to breaking generational sacrifices through self-healing, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of reclaiming power through self-discovery. Tune in to learn how embracing stillness and listening to our inner voice can lead to profound personal insights and transformative growth.#LifeCoach #SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #HealingJourney #Empathy #SelfLove #MentalHealthAwareness #TraumaHealing #Boundaries #EmotionalWellbeing #InnerPeace #SpiritualGrowth #Mindfulness #SelfDiscovery #SurvivorStories #ChildhoodTrauma #SelfAcceptance #TransformativeGrowth #EmpathicSensitivities #OvercomingGuilt #SelfHealing #BreakTheSilence #WellnessJourney #TrueEssence #HealingPower #TheseFukkenFeelingsPodcast #TraumaIsExpensive 

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it grab a drink and take a seat the session begins now what is up guys welcome to these fucking feelings podcast i am micah and i got my uh guest for today is elaine correct right i should have asked that in the green room, but. Elaine Glass, yes.

I read this for some reason, every time I see your name, I read this book. It was called The Glass House. And I don't know why something about you always reminds me of that book. It's a really interesting book. If you guys ever get a chance to read it, it's a true story. And yeah, it's just an incredible book but anyway enough about that book yeah so elaine is here today um crystal is not so i was explaining to elaine we're actually off for the summer but because of my recent i was re-diagnosed with cancer i think you know

you know that earlier this year and we had kind of reschedule and those kind of things. So now that we are off, I'm trying to get in all the makeup sessions that I can. So thank you so much for being willing to reschedule and coming back on. And then waiting for me today while people were stealing toilet paper. Thank you for having me. It's really an honor to be here with you today, Micah. Thank you so much. Now, one thing that we like to do here is we actually like our guests to introduce themselves because we feel like no one can tell us more about you than you. So if you don't mind telling our audience a little bit about yourself. Yeah, I'm Elaine Glass. I am a Master Life Coach. I have been doing that for probably my whole life,

if I think back to it, but just in an organized professional way for the last decade. I've always been a listener, Micah. Ever since I was on the playground at seven years old, people would come and want to share their, their feelings with me. And for some reason, I didn't know what I was doing or what I was saying, but it was my beingness and they would come and they would cry, you know, even at seven years old and then they would leave happy. And I didn't know what was going on, but, um, that's just been my life of listening in a way that I think is very rare today. And that's pretty cool. That's like a true calling. If you started at seven years old, like I'm just figuring out what I want to do at 44, you know? Well, I've taken that beingness,

you know, we all have this essence that we're that we're circuited with. And it's not really so much in what you do with it. I mean, it's it's just it's, it is what you do with it. But it's to cultivate that essence within you. So that when when you do bring that to the world, and you'll do that in so many different ways in this lifetime, that that will shine through. So, you know, I started off as a candy striper, you know, in a hospital and I was in that beingness. And then I went to the dental hygiene world and I was a dental hygienist and sat with over 40,000 patients one-on-one over 20 years, still was that beingness.

And now as a life coach, same thing, that beingness, but now I'm choosing to just, you know, be in a different role. So we may not know what we want to do with our lives, but we certainly can look back as young kids and and remember who we were being. Right. Definitely. I used to I used to volunteer at a children's hospital and I didn't volunteer long, though. And I left for the wrong reason. Right. I had a nose piercing and they told me I couldn't wear my nose piercing. And I was like, oh, well, yeah, I must not want me to volunteer. But I was like, oh, why did I have to have such a rebellious nature? Because there were kids that kind of like, you know, were kind of opening up to me, you know. And that was the one conversation

when like the head of the volunteers came to me to talk to me. She was like, please don't quit because you got this kid doing this and you got this kid out this room, this kid out this room. But I guess it must've been something about my personality that she knew after that conversation, I was never coming back. I love it. I love it. Yeah. So you were, you know, you, we choose, we choose things based upon our beingness that people outside of us recognize something in us that sometimes we don't even recognize ourselves. And I feel like that's really a space that I love to cultivate and explore more about our inner world. And so much noise in our outer world, sometimes it blocks that beingness that we know we truly are, but we can't access because the world has gotten so noisy. And so when we can cultivate and remember that true essence of who we are, then we truly know where we're going to share that out into the world.

And that's when life gets really, really exciting. Do you help people to discover what their true essence is? Because I know, like for me a long time, I didn't know what it was. Like, I don't know what, I didn't know what my essence was because I kind of went through so much trauma, so much pain, the noise of the world, the pain of the world. And then I'm kind of empathic. So not only did I have my pain, I had everybody else's pain too. So it was like, I, you know, know, and then to be honest, inside was pretty noisy, too. That's right. And that is what I help people do is I help people get quiet. And I actually just published a book under the same name.

And it's called Get Quiet, Seven Simple Paths to the Truth of Who You Are. Because I realized that when my life was crashing down, when I was going through a very traumatic experience of a divorce and becoming a single mom virtually overnight, that my life had gotten loud, my life had gotten chaotic. And I was just numb. We just numb out because it's just so noisy. We can't even decipher anything. And really, the only thing that really comes into us is the fear-based thoughts and feelings. And so how do you say, no, those are not the true thoughts and feelings. I know that there is love at the core of me. That is really all we are is love.

And so how do we get all of those fear-based outside noises to quiet, to access the true essence? And that is a very loving, bright soul. We are all here as a very loving, bright soul having a human experience. And so I help people cut through the noise and be able to feel that love within them. And that's what you can embrace. And that's then how you can share your gifts out into the world in that state of being. Now, are you someone who can kind of work with any patient or, or, and I don't want to say patient, but any person, um, or is it like a certain criteria? Cause you know, someone like me, I always imagine like me going to life coach is going to be difficult just because my mind moves a million miles an hour.

Right. And, you know, I've been to places and people like, oh, I could teach you how to meditate. And after 30 minutes, they're like, get out, you know, because it's like it's like you have to have patience with me. I've been through 40 years of trauma. OK, I'm not going to shut up overnight. You know, it's not going to go away overnight. So are you one of those people that have patience, Elaine? Yes, my my the group of people that I support the most are particularly people in midlife transitions. So like I was, I was in my early 40s and in a very difficult midlife transition, and I had to get healthy ASAP because my intention was to be the healthiest mom, mind, body and soul I could be for my boys. And so no one came saving me. So I had to go

develop a system for myself that regulated my nervous system first of first and foremost, because it's hard to cut through those noisy thoughts on repeat with a dysregulated nervous system, as you know. And so I found a meditative tool that was very different than the kind where you just sit in a room cross-legged, you know, alone. So I was led to a labyrinth. And I don't know if you've ever walked a labyrinth or know what a labyrinth is, it is not a maze. It doesn't confuse you when you walk it. So it's a, it's a 4,000 year old ancient tool. It's a meditative tool that are usually found in hospitals or churches or schools, or even

on private ground. And it's the metaphor is you walk around these circular paths there's only one way in and one way out and it's a metaphor for life there are twists and turns but you finally get to the center which is really the metaphor the center of you and it's quiet there and you can actually hear your soul's voice for the first time. That's kind of, that sounds like something I'll be interested in. See, I'm one of those people. I'll try anything once kind of people. So you go to labyrinthlocator.com. You can find one closest to you. They're all over the world and mostly in the United States. So that is where I found my quiet. That's where I take my clients is to the labyrinth because they will hear their soul's

voice, the true voice, the voice of love and not fear for the first time in probably ever. So it's so exciting, especially when the noise of the world gets too much for us. Which is like every day, because there's always something crazy going on in this world. There is. And also, we have the choice to engage with the noise of the world or not. And I think that's the most important aspect of this getting quiet is it is a practice because it's so difficult in the world that we live in today. Yeah. I'm going to give you my example, right? Because so 2024 for me is my year of no. So for my whole life since I was born, I was a yes man. You know what I'm saying?

I did what everybody else wanted me to do because they said I need to do it. I kind of went through a lot of sexual assault, sexual molestation for like my first 14 years of living. And then when I was 16, I got Guillain-Barre syndrome. I was paralyzed from the neck down. Had to learn how to walk and talk and do all those things again. So then turn around at 25 to get cancer, stage four, 7% chance of living, you know, then to like fight all of those things. Then it's for cancer to come back again in December of last year. So, you know, one thing I started to realize is like, I'm not taking care of myself. You know, I'm doing all these things to take care of everybody else.

It's kind of like the cup full, half full kind of analogy. Like I'm filling everybody else's cup and now my cup is empty and there's no one around to fill my cup. So I started to realize that I was giving too much of myself away. Like how the hell did I let cancer sneak back? You know, I kind of was, I was in this, it was four years. It would have been four years on Valentine's day that I would have been in remission. My four years of remission, cancer came back in December, like December 18th, I believe it was. So I kind of didn't make four years. Luckily it was, you know, stage one, really light kind of, we're going to do this course of chemo see if we can get you back in remission as quickly as possible that kind of thing but still it still crept back into my life and i'm like how did i miss that was this was happening to me

you know how did i miss that i was getting sick or missed it that's what this nausea was that's what this headache was so that's what this pain was because I was so still intertwined with taking care of everybody else. You know, I started my healing journey. I started healing from a lot of things, started living a peaceful life. For the first time in my life, I knew what peace, love, and kind of what love was, kind of what you're saying too, all for myself. Like I love myself and I'm cool with who I am, you know? And I kind of went through all that stuff. And then this year I decided I have to focus on me, especially I was going through chemo and my doctor's ideas of getting me back into remission was to go through like a really heavy form of treatment. So I was almost in chemo like every single day for like 90 days. It was

very, very horrible. It was the sickest I've ever been. It kicked my ass. But I decided I couldn't do for people anymore. So once I finished the chemo, I kind of got to the point where I still can't continue to do for everybody else. I still need to kind of focus on myself. Just because the chemo version is over doesn't mean I don't need to continue to work on my health, my well-being. You know, it's time to be selfish and stay on that no path for me, you know, because I will give I will give away everything I own if someone needed it. And that's just kind of possession. I give my time, my advice, just a lot of things. I'm just kind of a given person. I was doing those things. But I started to realize that when I needed people the most, no one was here to help me. And I was like, if they can be selfish, I should be allowed to be selfish, you know? So now I'm kind of in my selfish mood mode where I am really focusing on me,

taking care of me, figuring out what I need, you know, what I want my life to be what's the the goal of this podcast you know what is it that i'm i'm trying to give the world and but i'm getting so much flack from everybody around me kind of you know they feel abandoned they feel like i left them i'm leaving them high to dry and those kind of things and i don't know to me i just, no, it was just for, you know, it was like, I took care of you for so long. You need to kind of take care of yourself. No, it's like, it's time for you to start taking care of yourself because I need to take care of myself. Like I really need to take care of myself. And kind of what you were saying kind of resonated with the fact of, you know, loving, you know, yourself and those kinds of things. And it's like, but what do you do with all that flack that you get when it comes to, I think that people just get it when they heal anyway,

right? When you start healing, people don't like you no more. Like, oh, you're too good and you're acting funny and, you know, you changing. And it's like, isn't that what life is for us to evolve and to grow and grow into our purpose and our higher being and all those things. But now I'm getting the flack from it. And part of me has like a little guilt where I feel like, oh, maybe I am letting some people down or maybe it does feel like I turn my back on them. But I still want to choose myself first. I don't know if there was a question in all that, but I think there was. I heard every word and I really, really appreciate your vulnerability, first of all.

And I honor your path and what you have been through. So I just want to take a minute there because, I mean, really, that is a lot. And you can say it within a minute or two like you did, but that's been your life. You know what it comes to? And outside of that, what comes to that, too, is like I'm not really familiar with a lot of worldly things. You know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't follow the election.

I don't know what's going on. You know, I didn't know about the IBM crash. I don't I don't watch the news. It's like a lot of those things I don't do. And I also get a lot of flack about that, but you know, I realized that my whole life, I always focus, it was my whole focus on life was surviving. I didn't have time to deal with anything else. I was surviving being molested. I was surviving being assaulted, being abused, learning how to walk again, learning how to talk again, fighting cancer, you know, 7% chance of living. Yeah. I went through some hell with that. And

it was like, I was always fighting. I didn't have time to learn about these things. Now that I'm finally getting my health back, it's like, I still don't want to know about those things now, but that is also something that people try to make me feel guilty about. You know, like you should be more involved in the world and, and doing more. And I feel like I'm doing what I can with this podcast. You know, it's like this is my path. I know what it's like to heal. I know what it's like to start healing.

And I know the peace that comes with healing, you know, the love for myself. But mostly it was a peace. The first time I ever felt peace was in the moment of healing. And I'm like, wow, the world needs to feel this, you know. And that's the one thing I can teach because I know that all the other stuff I don't know, because I spent 40 years of my life just trying to make sure I stayed on this earth because there were people legit trying to take my soul from me, you know. Well, and you are the greatest messenger for the healing of the planet. We are a very wounded generation in a lot of different ways. And for you to have gone through all of that and now to be so committed and intentional with this podcast and everything you do and who you be, Micah, to help heal the planet.

You know, we know and you know, out of anybody, that your health is your wealth. Not like, full stop. Full stop. Full stop. And that alone should be what allows you to say confidently and also with grace, I'm sorry, but I need to heal myself. Because my health is my wealth. Definitely. And I love the quote by Nathaniel Brandon, who is a psychotherapist. He said that leisure is a valid human activity. Right. That is a dope quote.

And so many of us find our worth through busyness, through just erratic behavior of, you know, like trying to help everyone and everything. that you've helped didn't even really want to be helped, but that we take our energy and help people because we're good people, because we're empaths, because we can feel their pain and suffering. And yet it's like the Coast Guard, where they always say, you know, when someone is drowning and they're in a rescue mission, and you throw out your life, you know, vest or your that life. You know, the people that are swimming towards you are the people that want to be saved. Don't be trying to save those people that are swimming away from you. They will take all your energy and then some to your soul, as you know,

and you will all drown. And so, you know, that is when that term boundaries comes into play. Definitely. Yes. And I'm trying to learn them. I'm trying to learn those boundaries, but people keep cursing me out. Yeah. And you know what? It's, it's the, it's sometimes the pleaser in us, you know, we just have to say, you know what, we are unwilling to let anyone take us down and drown us.

You know, my biggest question is, am I becoming a bad person? You know, that's my biggest question. It was like, you know, my, because it's got to the point where now some people that I talk to every day, I don't even talk to no more. You know, it was like, they're like legit blocked from my phone because it's like, I'm trying to put up boundaries. And it is my fault for not having boundaries in the beginning. But hey, I'm learning.

I'm human. I'm learning as I grow, you know, but now I'm trying to put a boundaries and it's like, it's a negotiation. And it's like, no, we can negotiate my boundaries. It's that it doesn't work that way. You know? So now it's like they're blocked and they're finding any kind of way. Like I got a letter in the mail the other day to tell me that I was a horrible human being for blocking this person. And I'm like, am I? I don't want to be a bad person, but I still want to live my life to the fullest and be the best that I can be. So that way, that's what everybody gets from me. You know, I want to be better than I was yesterday. You know, I want to lead this conversation better. Sorry.

No, I love the quote too, by a famous poet. Now it's escaping me, but he says, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude. So if those people that you're blocking are not sweeter than your solitude. Right. And this is about self-love. And, you know, the healing process that I talk about in Get Quiet is this clearing and cleaning of the heaviness that we carry. We carry the weight of the world on us. But we can choose to clear it and clean it away. And so the paths to doing that is because really, ultimately, when we become the lightness of being in this way is that's where we find that self love.

That's where we find that inner peace. So it's about nurturing your body. That's the first path. It's about cleaning and clearing out your environment. And that's not only just stuff in your house, but the people. It's about clearing out the thoughts and the emotions and feelings that no longer serve you that are on repeat, where you can choose a different thought that day. It's about resting. You know, we rarely give ourselves permission to rest. And in that rest is when we can receive this new vision for our lives.

And when we cannot rest and really feel and sense into those subtle energies that are speaking to us, I call them your soul's voice, God, the life force that runs through all of us, your angels, your guides, all of that. The unseen is just right there for you to be supporting you but again the the world is so loud definitely that we can't access those subtle energies that are trying desperately to get our attention right right definitely yeah so all this leads to this cleaning and clearing and and really creating a lighter version of ourselves. And that's kind of what I want just to be lighter because I'm like, I'm so tired of carrying everybody's burden on my shoulders. Like, it's too much.

I'm exhausted. Right. But, you know, I am finally listening, though. I am listening. So that's a good thing. And feel like, you know like I can hear more. I still have issues with God and just whatever we call it, just because of the horrible things I've been through in my life. So it's been hard to find what I believe in. Some things make sense, but then I still look at my life and it was like, I don't see God and nowhere in these pictures.

You know, I did all that by myself. So it just causes a lot of. But I think that I'm starting to like find some kind of spirituality, like I'm starting to to hear more positive and to feel more positive than I do negative. and that is the when after sitting with over 40,000 patients one-on-one seeing all their medical history seeing all the medications they were on seeing diseases suffering that's when I got the title of the book get quiet because a coach of mine at the time said what did you learn from sitting with all those people and humanity, you know, like what makes someone healthy? What makes somebody not healthy? What makes somebody happy? And the two words I said was like, get quiet. Like, I think people just need to get quiet and tune into whatever that spirituality was the thing that I felt was missing, not only in my life at the time, but a lot of my patients. And the concept that God is outside of us, now I believe and I have felt that God is within us too.

And so we can tap into that life force just within our own selves. And that's the sweet spot. And, you know, also part of this mindset is around celebrating how far you've come. Because a lot of this pushing and pushing forward and needing to continue to fight the good fight is exhausting and does not create health and does not create a restful state in which we can receive these messages. even yesterday or a week ago or three years ago and acknowledge that and seriously embody that that celebration that bad bitch energy Yes. You know, and like you have come so far. You have overcome what most people will not overcome in a lifetime. In a lifetime.

Yeah. I realized that recently I was sitting in a room, you know, you do chemo. I don't know. You know, I hope you don't know. But you do chemo. You kind of do chemo and in a room with other people who are doing chemo. You know, so it's just kind of like a whole bunch of people there sick, you do chemo. I don't know. You know, I hope you don't know. But you do chemo. You kind of do chemo and run with other people who are doing chemo. You know, so it's just kind of like a whole bunch of people. They're sick, you know. But, you know, you look at some of those people and it always makes me think of like when you're in a college or in a class and they're like, look to your left, you know, look to your right. Like one of these people is not going to be here. And it's crazy because it's that same room. It's that same feeling when you're sitting in that room with all these people on chemo. It's like, look to your left, look to your right. One of these people was not going to make it. You know, the chances that everybody in this room right now

is going to survive are probably half, you know, just because we don't know what people are going through on this. It was lung cancer and just like all these other things. And that was a big wild moment for me because it's like, I didn't know that after this treatment, I was going to get up, leave, and have the rest of my life. And I'm like, wow, there's some people that aren't going to have that, that they don't have that, you know?

What do you think has allowed you to be here today, thriving? I don't know, it's a good question. I honestly do say love, though. A lot of, you know, of course, before it was a love for other people. You know, I kept going because of my mom and I kept going because of my siblings and my father and nieces and nephews and people needed me. But it was my love for them. Eventually it started to become the love for myself because I even feel like getting over cancer was learning how to love myself, you know, learning how to live with it.

You know, I was a victim. I've been a victim my whole life, you know, and cancer, I still felt like I was a victim. I was hopeless. I was under its cast, its spell. I had to do what it said. If not, it was going to kill me. You know, it was like everything that I had went through that my predators or my tormentors, and I say dementors like Harry Potter, because they try to steal my soul. But all of those things that those people used to tell me, you know, that they were going

to kill my mom and they were going to hurt my family if I didn't do what they said. You know, it was like, I always carried that with me. So even in cancer, it was kind of like, cancer says I need to be sick, so I need to be sick. You know, so it was like I kind of obeyed because that's just what I was good at. But it was somewhere in the middle of all that, that there was still a light that knew that this can't just be it. You know, I can't suffer this whole life. Like if I have a creator, I don't believe my creator created me to be miserable, you know, and that started to become my thought, you know, and it's like, OK. But once again, I still knew that everything I went through, I kind of went through alone. I never felt any kind of higher power. I never felt anybody other than me. I felt me and I felt the pain that I went through. And I kind of took that into cancer and just trying to try to change it because I realized

that I can't continue to let things, situations, people, persons hold things over me anymore. You know, I was like, I'm not a puppet. Okay, cancer, I'm not a puppet. So it was in loving myself. And then honestly, I kind of felt like i started to love cancer too it was like a little slick relationship you know cancer beat my ass but i loved it you know but in loving it that i felt like i kind of learned to destroy it because is that what love does sometimes you know does it destroy sometimes but uh but it was in in finding that love that it was like, yeah, I got to be more than this for myself. Like it has to be for me, you know. And what I hear you saying is, sorry, I'm not crying. I'm just my right ear is tearing a little bit.

I hope I ain't making you cry. Dang. Are we going to say I am crying? What I'm hearing you say is that we can resist this love. Definitely. We can be scared of this love because it is so grand. And we are all taught eventually what this love feels like. And sometimes we have to go through divorce, cancer, a lot of trauma, whatever it is for God or the life force, whatever you want to call it, the universe to say, hey, this is real.

This is the essence of who you truly are. Don't be afraid of it. It's really the only thing that's real. And we want you to know that in this lifetime in fact i think that's our purpose is as humans is to um is to really know and learn and embody um this love definitely definitely yeah and and not resist it, which is so easily done. That's why we resist people that want to be with us romantically. And we go, Oh, no, like I've had women push really wonderful men away in their lives, because they were afraid to be truly loved, and accept that into their

lives. And this is the spiritual path. This is spirituality is to wake up to the truth of our lives, which is the fact that we are love and that the outside noises will want to make sure that we are only staying in fear. And that's what the media will do. And so I credit you big time for not exposing yourself at this time to any of that fear-based rhetoric, because it will not heal your body and it will not heal your soul. And I'm like, I get world that it keeps me ignorant to some things and I'm sorry, but all I can really do is be my best version of myself to you. And that should be enough for you right now. You know, like go out there and heal and you'll get what I'm talking about.

I promise you. But you know, you are an example of that for people. But it's funny because you kind of brought up relationships because I kind of been celibate for five years because I started to realize, like like when I started to have kind of relationships or or be involved with sex it wasn't healthy kind of form of sex you know I wanted that sadistic kind of things and I was like well hey hold up is it that you like this or is this coming from your childhood and because this was done for you so I was like you know what no more sex until we figure this out you know we have to figure out who you are without being made to do things you know like it's okay for me to have pleasure it's okay for me to feel

good like i'm trying to teach myself those things kind of now and um and part of loving myself right i'm loving myself um but showing myself that it's okay to have pleasure and you deserve pleasure. You deserve those things, but it's kind of, um, you know, putting on hold kind of, I'm not ready for that romantic aspect of it yet because I'm not sure who I am in it or who I need to be in it. You know, I know when I did do it and I was trying to, it wasn't healthy. Like I had some really crazy fucked up relationships that I'm like, okay, you over here playing, like you doing this shit purposely, like you grown and you doing this shit. Why are you fighting cancer and still working a full-time job? What is wrong with you? So, yeah. You know what? I brought you on here to have a whole

lesson with me. I'm sorry. I just, this was my way of getting a free life coaching session. I am here for you. And again, I really, really appreciate this open, honest conversation. It's very rare in the world. You know, I always felt I grew up in a household that what happened in the household stayed in the household. Right. And then I remember talking to my mom recently. So another reason I'm open to this is my family finally knows about it they know a lot about the torment and stuff i went through but my mom always

tells me i wish you would have told me earlier i wish you would have told me earlier i wish you would have told me earlier and um it's my mom i love my mom i respect my mom so what i'm hearing is you need to start telling you need to start telling like you need to start telling you need to start making these issues known what made. What made you not tell your mom? I'm just curious. At first, it was the threats. I've been molested as long as I have a memory. My first memory is of being molested. I don't have any memory before that. So I really can't say when it started. But I knew that

one of my molesters threatened to kill my mom. So we grew up in New York City. My mom was the super of the building, the landlord super. Back in those days, we called the super, but, you know, now as a landlord, but she kind of managed the building. So everybody had access to my mom, you know, and this guy kept saying that he would kill my mom. And then, you know, and it's pretty crazy. So I was tormented. The thing about my life was that I was molested so much by so many different people. I kind of thought it was normal. Once again, as my first memory, you know, I'm in kindergarten talking to other people like, yo, your uncle don't touch you like that. You know, because to me, it was just normal because so many people did it. And of course, and then I was molested by both men and women, which is another confusing aspect of things.

But but they all threatened to hurt somebody in my life. You know, one one person told me he would kill my mother. Another person told me that if I didn't do what he told me to do, that he will make my younger brother do it. So, you know, to me, I felt like I had to protect my family, you know, and by saying things, then my mom could get hurt or my brother could get hurt. So, you know, it was like I sacrificed kind of myself to make sure that they were okay. And at that time, I kind of knew that I was doing, but it was like, to me, that was what was being strong. Like, you have to be strong and you have to do this because if you don't do it, then your little brother's going to go through this. Or if someone might hurt your mom or, you know, I have a whole bunch of siblings and nieces and nephews and

kind of all grew up in, you know, in the same area. And it was so, so much that people could threat and that I can see them take action on the threat that I felt like I had to be, you know, that sacrificial lamb at that moment. Not saying I'm Jesus, guys. I didn't mean to say lamb. It just came out that way. Okay. No, no.

And that is what I'm hearing too, is this concept of sacrificing. That I learned from my mama. Oh. Yeah. But at the expense of you. No, definitely. At the expense of your mama. Oh. Yeah. But at the expense of you? No, definitely. At the expense of your health? No, definitely, yeah.

At the expense of your soul? Yeah. I always tell my mom, we and my mom, I talk about her in this whole podcast. So in every podcast, I always bring up my mom. We were very, very close. But I always tell her there's the one thing I wish I never saw her do was sacrifice. You know, we grew up poor. but my mom would take on anybody. You know, I always tell people I don't see color.

And to some people, it's offensive. You know, oh, you have to see the struggles of these races. And I'm like, you don't understand. I grew up at two years old with every person sleeping on the floor and the sofa because my parents, legit, if you didn't have, if you had less than us, then you had more than us because my mom was always giving, you know. So I learned sacrifice, sacrifice. And then she sacrificed to raise us and even dealt with an unhealthy, unhappy marriage. You know, we didn't know she was unhappy.

But as soon as my younger brothers turned 18, my mom got a divorce. She was like, you out. I've been waiting to kick your ass out for 18 years you got to go but it's like wow you spent you know you did all this sacrificing things and me too i sacrificed a lot even now you know talking about giving and people count on me is you know the part of that is all sacrificing because i learned it from her but i'm like i'm breaking that generational curse right now no more sacrifices and you will you will because right now you already are based upon the boundaries that you're placing for yourself you know everything is energy as you know so if you're giving then the energy is only flowing one direction. And if you're not receiving at the same time, that energy gets stuck.

And you literally have so much output of energy that it will completely drain you if you're only giving, giving, giving. If you don't fill that cup up of receiving. But we have to trust to receive. Receiving is very vulnerable because my fear is always receiving the negative like what are the negative things people are saying about you now like you know what oh you know mike is not shit you know i call him he blocked my number you know like i could hear the stories and i hear my name being drugged through the mud and those

that's the energy i'm like scared of receiving like that. Then I want to be a good person. So it was like, I don't want to be known as a bad person no more. I feel like people are making me a bad person now because I chose myself. So where I'm conflicted, I'm not conflicted. I know that I need to choose myself. But there's still that 10% guilty feeling that night that does keep me up an extra 20 minutes. Maybe I'm getting better. I used to keep me up hours and now it, maybe. I'm getting better. It used to keep me up

hours. And now it's like, eh, I think about it to go away. So I am working on it. Like, you can't feel guilty about this, but it's like, am I turning my back on people? You know, you think about Jesus Christ, you know, we grew up Catholic and he sacrificed his whole life for everybody. Right. So it's like, should I not be sacrificing? If you have abundance and you give it away, but then, no, you keep it for yourself, right? Elaine's like, you are driving me crazy. Go ahead, Elaine. You can tell me you're driving me crazy. We cannot heal at the soul level if our energy is being depleted.

We cannot bring in anything good in our lives, other people, relationships, job, anything, if we are not in our most healed state. And so that above all becomes the number one focus. And that's kind of what I heard earlier when you were talking about if you keep giving, you can't receive. And it was like any other time i thought about that i always thought negative but elaine come up here and you look like an angel over there so when you said it you know to me i thought about all the positive things i wasn't receiving so i was like it was just in that moment my light bulb went off like okay you're right and you begin to receive if you haven't

been a receiver and always a giver you begin to receive with little things like I remember you know Abby after having been a single mom and doing everything myself for over a decade when I met my fiance he was wanting to help me with things and it was so foreign to me I was like oh no I'll do that oh no I'll was like, Oh, no, wait, okay, I'm just gonna ask him to take the garbage out tonight. Right? And then like, happy to do it. So I received that. And then he did it. And so then I was being shown that I could trust that whatever I said I needed, because this is really about getting our needs met and trusting that we will. And so we just start with baby steps of like asking, hey, can you can you drive me to my appointment or can you whatever it is? And you just start with these little asks. And then you build up the confidence and you're able then to fully receive.

And when you get to the point where you can fully receive people's love for you. You can fully receive your and your own love for yourself. You can connect in an intimate way to yourself. I mean, we can't connect intimately with others unless we can feel that within ourselves first. Right. And I think it all kind of starts with really learning what love is and what the true definition of love is. Like it shouldn't be no negativity in there. Like love is like it shouldn't be no negativity in there like love is supposed to hurt right that's why you go walk a labyrinth and immediately you will hear your soul's voice that is only loving that is only guiding you

toward what is only meant for you. So that you can feel that love for yourself and that clear guidance. And that, that is my main message. It's to get quiet, hear that still small voice within you, or else it's going to become a lot louder. I mean, I remember when I wasn't listening the way I needed to, that one day I was taking my groceries out of the back of my car and my car lift hadn't come gone up all the way. It only hit like it was only halfway down and it hit like I came around getting my groceries out and boom, it hit me right

in my head like I totally got knocked over I thought I was bleeding but I wasn't but literally I had to be knocked almost knocked down for God universe to get my attention that day because it will speak louder and you don't want it to knock you over and have something you know really really like now is the time to get quiet to turn off the noise of the world and to start listening and stop looking away at the truth of your life yeah that's why i felt like cancer was for me this time. When it came back, I felt like cancer was the bump in my head. Like, you done survived this, and you still over here on this bullshit.

You know, so, but here we are. We're 45 minutes in, and it's been all about me, right? So I'm going to take the attention off me a little bit, because there are people out here. So we have two listeners. One, people who like to listen to me because they think I'm crazy. And then two, there are people who are curious about healing, right? But they listen to my story or stories of guests that we have. And they're like, that shit did not happen to me. So now they feel like they don't need to heal for something.

What is your message to those people? People know, we people say big, big trauma, little trauma. You know, I don't believe in that to me. Trauma is trauma. Pain is pain. Hurt is hurt. But there are people that always feel like there's someone out there that has it worse than me. So now they feel like they don't need to heal for something from anything. we all should be seeking within ourselves the best in ourselves so that we can bring up those gifts that we have those god-given gifts and out into the world right if you are sitting in your car right now listening to this in your home at work and you feel like you are not being the best version of yourself, you feel like something is missing in your life, but you don't know what. Your relationships are fractured. Right.

You're getting more colds. Maybe you don't have cancer, but you're getting more colds maybe you don't have cancer but you're getting more colds than normal you're having a hard time making ends meet there is something wounded inside of you that's causing limitations in your life

so those wounds do need to heal. Everybody, everybody, every day, we have little disappointments. Those are hurts and traumas. Just everyday disappointments that we need to heal from. And a lot of times at nighttime, I'll just do a brain dump and just like take a pen and paper or voice texted in my phone and just get all those thoughts out of me and onto paper before I go to bed. I always sleep better when I do that. But it's just this cleaning and clearing out of everything that we're carrying that weighs heavy on us. Because that dense energy, that stuck energy,

is what causes disease and suffering. That I know for sure. Me too. Yeah. And just to add on that a little bit, stop comparing yourself to other people as well you know i'm saying like it stopped it's the smallest thing i learned recently that a baby sit in his diaper too long his or hers whatever can cause trauma sitting in a dirty diaper too

long can cause trauma it could cause certain kinds ofs. It could cause a whole lot of things. And it's like, wow, you think about that. Like, I don't even remember me ever being in a diaper. But just think of the things that can cause. So it can be the most simplest thing that you wouldn't even think of that's causing you a lot of pain. That's right. That's right. And it's just like, again, that we are we're addicted as a

society to a lot of things but personality wise we really are addicted to looking away at the truth of our life right so we can say well that person has it worse than me i don't need healing look under that carpet right in that closet and start taking stuff out because you have pushed stuff under there that you don't want to look at or address and i have total compassion for that because my pile under my carpet years ago was quite high but little by little i addressed everything because i couldn't suffer anymore. We're not here to suffer. And I agree completely.

And if your life is all about suffering, it's something you need to call Elaine. Elaine Glass. Look, we can look you up online. Do you offer services for everybody? You do it online kind of thing. I do retreats. I do in-person retreats. In-persons okay we can still make that happen you know i'm sorry we can still make that happen because you gotta fight for yourself but you know it's like there there are methods there are things

that we could do to to kind of get it together because uh you know it's one of the biggest things i always get people you know people be like, you know, you've been through so much. And how can I compare my life to you? And I'm like, you can't. So you shouldn't. You know, we live two different completely lives. Our DNA is different. Our background is different. Our shoe size is different. You know, my middle toe was bigger than yours. And what we've experienced is different. But the one thing that unites us that I think is really important and part of my my takeaway messaging is that we can unite as human beings under one premise. And that is that we all have a soul's calling. And when we look away and don't say yes to that and can't hear it, that is when our life doesn't work. Definitely.

And so when we get quiet, when we tune into these subtle messages, and life is talking to us all the time. I remember the first time I walked around that labyrinth, I heard as clear as day surrender as if someone was just walking right next to me. I heard that clearly. I went back to my car that day. I turned the radio on and the announcer was talking about of all things, surrender. These synchronicities, when you get quiet and when you tune in to the unseen that is longing to catch your attention, you will be living in a life that is so magical that you will only want to live this way. You will not want to just succumb to the noise and fear-based voices that are prattling on and they will not stop until they get your attention. Those fear-based noises.

And the second time I went to the labyrinth, I started humming this Michael Jackson song. Because, you know, when spirit touches you and reaches you, it only reaches you in ways that it knows that you will respond. So I love Michael Jackson. I started humming, you are not alone. I am here with you. So I started humming that song. So I was like, oh, okay. The message is you're not alone. I am here with you. So I started humming that song. So I was like, Oh, okay. The message

is you're not alone. I'm here with you. It was so comforting in the quiet. I went back to my car. The radio was playing that song. These are the synchronicities where you go okay okay god i'm yours you just tell me where to go for me it's numbers it's numbers okay we see triples always and i can spot them out no matter where they are and then i usually go through where it's like you know multiple times a day seeing the same triple numbers. So that there's always been, or, I mean, it could be whatever, it could be four or five, but I'm always, it's always the same number and then I'll see the same thing throughout the day all the time. And I'm like, okay, I don't know what that means,

but one, one, one, you know, Before you were not aware of that. And now you are. And so now you start to ask, well, okay, well, what does that mean? And that is what spirituality is. It's a waking up to the energy around you that I call life or life force that's trying to get your attention. Right. Definitely.

That is the waking up. And that's an exciting get your attention. Right. Definitely. That is the waking up. And that's an exciting path to live on. Yeah, I trust. I've been on it for three years now. I talk about it like it's my sobriety in a way, but it is. It's my sobriety from trauma, you know? And so, but yeah, three years now.

And I definitely know that I've felt the best and greatest and I've experienced, you know, and I still know I got a lot of healing to do, right? Because it's a constant journey. But I'm here for the journey and I'm like genuinely enjoying my life right now. And I'm like, I don't have all the answers, which is why I bring people like you on. And I was thinking about earlier, I'm telling people find you online, but what they need to do is go buy your books because you give them seven steps. The seven steps is nothing.

You know what I'm saying? You take it. I just took seven steps to get to this chair. So that's what we're going to do. We got to get Elaine's book. What's the title again? Give me the whole title. It's called Get Quiet.

Seven Simple Paths to the Truth of Who You Are. So seven paths. Elaine going to give you seven paths. Let's go check out her book, right? Because we just need to start somewhere. And honestly, I always say at the end of the day, just talking to friends, having conversations. We can't tell you what to do. We can't tell you that you need to heal, how to heal. We just hope that you are inspired by this conversation to consider your healing. You know, because, you know, five years ago, couldn't have told me I was broken, you know, and I was humpty dumpty over here trying to put myself together again.

And they still couldn't tell me I was broken. I'm like, I know where all my pieces are. They're not here, but I know where they at, you know? Well, I was broken. And now it's like, you know, people could say, oh, you were so broken then. And I'm like, damn, you know what I was, you know? And it's kind of cool to just be able to admit that. And just, you know, to me, it's founded in honesty. It's like my love came out of honesty. You know, it was like, if I start being honest with myself and realize that I hurt people because I was hurting, you know, that's something I'm not proud of. You know, there's probably lives I've destroyed and I didn't even know I destroyed. You know how many people love me and I couldn't love them back. It's kind of like, say, that you were just talking about, you know, relationships

being ruined. You know, I was the bad part of those relationships. I had some really good people in my life, you know. These people don't even talk to me no more now. Like now they don't even say no to me. Like they turn the other way when they see me, you know. And, you know, I laugh about it because I did forgive myself because I realized that I couldn't be nothing else than who I was at that time. I didn't know what I knew now. You know, now I would never be that to any person.

And because of that, I give myself forgiveness and I hope that they can move on and give both of us forgiveness, you know, at the end of the day. But I no longer worry about it because I knew that it was the best version I could be of myself at that time. I didn't know any better. You know, not. Sorry. myself at that time. I didn't know any better. You know, not an excuse. Sorry, go ahead. No, you bring up such a beautiful point. Because really, when we're talking about getting quiet, we're talking about that emptying, we're talking about that healing. And getting quiet actually brings about human kindness. And that's when you wake up and become aware

and responsible for your life and that's really why we're here is to to be kind to one another and just but we've got and i was just on top of, and just to know that we never know somebody else's true story, you know. So, you know, it's funny like me, you know, once again, just talking to my mom in conversations or something, you know, and she'd be like, I don't like her. And I'm like, well, she went through this and she went through this and she went through this. You know, my mom be looking at me, she'd be like, you good at this? Because you're right. Those are things I didn't consider. And we're talking about like a TV character, you know, we could be talking about, you know, not specifically a person watching TV shows, you good at this? Because you're right. Those are things I didn't consider. And we're talking about like a TV character.

You know, we could be talking about, you know, not specifically a person watching TV shows, you know. And it's just my mom just judged the character too quick. But I'm like, oh, you forgot. She grew up without a mother. And then this happened to her and this happened to her. So why would she be anything other than what she is right now? It's like, wow, you know, you're right about that. But I feel like that's kind of how, you know, in healing ourselves, which is something we should be doing, me and Elaine both agree on that.

But to give other people the grace for them to heal and to be who they are because we don't know their life experiences. And there are some situations where, of course, that's exclusive. We shouldn't be out here molesting people. If you're hurting somebody else, it's not a good thing. You know what I'm saying? Seek help. But essentially, you know, it was like we need to give people the same grace that we want or that we give ourselves. And that's just the ability to heal from the things they need to heal from to become the people they need to be. But just in your conversation with your mom, you know, explaining to her just that concept of being judgmental, you know, in any way. Like if you're being judgmental, she's being judgmental.

If anyone's being judgmental, that's a back story that we carry because we, we learn that. And we have to unravel that within us, our judgments of others. That's that, that is a huge thing to heal that alone judgment. And so for you to be able to show your mom and guide her as to why you know that we shouldn't judge that one character like you're you're making a huge difference in the world just by sharing that knowledge with one person because now she's going to feel more loving within herself she's going to think maybe twice the next time she judges a character. And it's just this one person at a time that really helps the world. And this is what you're doing, Micah. Thank you. And I do really love everybody. I'm one of those people. Like right now, in my point of my life, I love everybody. You know what I'm saying? I ain't going to say you ain't going to get on my nerves, but I still love you.

But I mean, that's how I look at it. And it's so funny because people always, it's always the one thing they say about me when people say, describe something about Micah. And they're like, he loves everybody. But because I know my own backstory, once again, I know how I hurt people and I know that it wasn't intentional, you know, at the time I didn't know I was this broken that I was going to destroy another person, but essentially that's what I did. And I say destroy, and it's such a huge word, but that is the impact I had on my life, you know, all because I didn't kind of take accountability for the things that happened to me, whether they were my fault or not, and kind of learn from them, grow from them and heal from them, essentially. And to love myself after all of that, you know. So those are all big things for me. But I have a dear friend named Andre Norman, who was in the prison system for many years as a kid in his 20s. And he was actually put in solitary confinement too, for a year, even two. And he was very troubled, obviously. And in solitary confinement, he fought and fought

and fought and resisted and resisted. And after the year or two he was in, he literally had walked the same seven steps that I talk about in Get Quiet. Intuitively, he went through the same steps in order to find the love for himself again. When he was let out of prison, he was healed. He went through those same exact steps that I talk about in the book. And now he is a motivational speaker and he does prison reform all around the country. He was forced to get quiet in solitary confinement. We don't have to be forced. We can do this work. We can do this inner work in freedom. But it's such important work.

It'll be the most important work you ever do is to sit and get in that stillness and tune in to the truth of who you are and not the stories and not the trauma, but the fact that you are a soul having a human experience and that soul is originated from, I believe God. And that is only a loving presence. And I've had terrible things happen in my life too. I still know that this is a loving presence and that we are never, ever alone, that we are always being supported. We just need to get quiet enough to tap in to this loving energy.

And I hope one day I can meet that energy. Hey, energy, I'm open to you. But and just kind of just to go back on kind of what we're saying, life shouldn't be about suffering. It really shouldn't, you know, and not every day anyway. I mean, life is life. I allow myself to have bad days and you know people know when i have a bad day just people stay out my way because i allow myself to have a full bad day like if it's a bad day i'm like okay it's just gonna be a bad day

till tomorrow okay so i put my signs up and people know leave me alone because i'm the devil today but can we get the cheetos and the coca-cola out people know of course if krista was here she would tell you like how bad i am on my bad days but they're far and few but i allow myself to have them because i know that i'm human and it's part of the human experience but i know that not every day should be a bad day and not every moment should be a bad moment and i have more good days and i do bad days and those kinds of things, but Hey, I'm sick.

So, you know, it was like, you just don't get up and cancer be gone. You know, your body still goes through the day. So, you know,

and I allow myself to have bad days and it's not that you need an excuse to have a bad day, you know, but it should be more good days and bad days and life shouldn't be about suffering and misery and, and all those kinds of things. And just go buy Elaine's book. She's going to give you seven paths to go down.

We're going to change some lives. I'm going to get the book, but Elaine, I want an autographed copy. You send me your address and I will send you an autograph. Cool, and just know we will pay for it because we support here. It's one thing we believe in support in. So I'm not asking for no free book, but I am asking for a free autograph. Well, I would love to give you a free book if you will receive that. Yes, definitely.

I will take it and I will read it. So those are the two things that I give you. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for allowing your schedule to work out through all my crazy changes this year. I'm so glad that we were able to have this conversation and I'm sorry that I made it all about me. You didn't. And I'm so grateful for you as a messenger. I'm grateful for your health and for the listeners who don't see you in real time like I do. This man that

you're speaking, that you are listening to Micah, his soul, like what I see radiating out of you, the bright light, your smile is pure love. And I want to let you know that I see that. I appreciate that. And that is what the world needs. So thank you, Micah, for having me today and keep doing what you're doing because you are making a huge impact in the world. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I kind of agree with you. If I could just do it in one person, I am happy with that. But I hope that the world is

healing, not so much because of me, but because of incredible guests like you who come on and tell people that it is possible. There are methods out there. And then the thing that I think is cool is we don't have to go through psychiatrists and medication. Sometimes it's not that serious. And that's when people think about mental health. They always want to think about that. So that's what makes people like you so important because it's like, no, it could just be mindfulness

and intentional, just wanting to changed your life, knowing that it needs to be different. Going to buy Elaine's book. Okay. We're going to, we're going to get quiet. We're going to get quiet. Amazing. Thank you so much again for being on. Um, if you was out there and you was stealing that toilet paper or that, uh, so I was late today getting here, right? I'm gonna put y'all on blast real quick. Uh, a truck had turned over and it was like either truck a bounty or sherman i really couldn't tell because the bags that were running past me from all the people that got out of their car to go get some was so quick that i really couldn't see what the

label was y'all should be ashamed of yourself okay i did stop to make sure that the driver was good and he was because i was like are people out here stealing shaman but they didn't check on the driver but no they did they just stole the star shaman after they knew the driver was good but y'all should be ashamed of yourselves or not i'm just joking uh thank you so much again for being on thank you guys for watching and we will see you next week. Peace, love, and blessings.