These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Empowering Emotional Intelligence: Unveiling the Depths of Feelings with Angela Harris |Season 2.5 Ep: 113

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

Send us a Text Message.In this compelling episode of the These Fukken Feelings Podcast, we dive deep into the realm of emotional intelligence and self-discovery with the remarkable Angela Harris, renowned author and founder of www.angelavharris.com. Join us as we unravel the complexities of human emotions and explore the transformative power of embracing our feelings.Angela Harris, a leading expert in the field of emotional well-being, shares her profound insights and practical strategies for...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it. Grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now. This podcast where we are continuing our journey on mental health is season 2.5. I'm Micah, got my girl Rebecca over here, and we're on with the, I'm going to say, honorary Dr. Angela Harris. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you. Angela, we believe that the best way to introduce yourself is for you to introduce yourself. So go ahead and tell the people about yourself. Well, hello, everyone. My name is Angela V. Harris, and I'm a leadership coach. And in my coaching practice, I help Black women strategically navigate the corporate landscape so they can be seen, feel valued, and get promoted. And prior to my career as a coach, I spent 24 years in the tech industry navigating corporate

spaces, and that is what motivated me to make this pivot and transition into my business full time. Very nice. Well, nice, but not nice. It's crazy that you had to like, fight. It is pretty crazy what got me here. You know, it's like the turmoil that you had to go through now to like start this business is retarded that that even exists. So I just want to say that. So in what kind of aspect would a person seek your services? Anyone that's looking to advance their career. I feel like I want to be the person that I needed if I would have chosen to stay in corporate America. I have learned a lot, experienced a lot in my 24

years as a Black woman in corporate America, as a Black woman in the tech industry. And I just want to impart my knowledge onto other women coming behind me so they can be successful. Right. Now, how did you, what was one thing that you did to persevere through, you know, and get to the rankings you were in? Just having a strong belief in myself and honestly, just knowing that I worked too hard to finish college and start my career. And this is basically just having that belief in myself, just being determined to to make it whatever way possible. But there had to be some days where you didn't think he was going to do it. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. I was just having a conversation earlier with someone today like i pretty i had lots of days where it was like frustrating i would have to like drag myself out of bed i would have to have

you know friends give me pep talks or like talk me off the ledge so yeah i've definitely had those days it's been you know peaks and valleys right. But it was worth it in the end. It was. I feel like the place where I am now in my life and career is really ultimately where I should be. I feel like for the first time, I actually feel, I guess, like seen and valued for the work that I've done. I guess my thought leadership and I feel like I never got those feelings in corporate America. Okay. And sorry. Sorry. Were there experiences in your life that led you to this sort of career, like in your earlier years that brought you here? Yeah, absolutely. I'm a first generation college graduate, and I've always been fascinated by technology since I was a young girl. And I always knew from a very early age that I wanted to attend college and study technology.

But as a child, I didn't have those role models because STEM wasn't officially an acronym when I was a young child, nor was computer science education available in my classroom. So I was pretty much self-taught. So I essentially chose my career path, not knowing that I was going to be entering a white male dominated industry. I simply chose it based on my fascination with technology. And when I graduated and entered the workforce, it was this huge wake up call. And actually, even before I officially graduated, I went to Dre this huge wake up call. And actually, even before I officially graduated, I went to Drexel University in Philadelphia. And the unique thing about Drexel was that we do co-op experiences. So we're working six months out of the year and going to school for six months out of the year. And my very first co-op experience, I remember the hiring manager

telling me that there had never been any women to work in the department that I would work in if I was hired. So he was very intentional about hiring two female co-op students. So I was one of the first women and the first black woman to work in that department as a sophomore in college. And that was pretty much a trend throughout most of my career, either being the first or the only and or both. And as a result of that, didn't have a lot of mentorship very early in my career and pretty much had to lie on my own guidance to figure out how to navigate some of these challenging situations. So I did the best that I could with what I had at the time. And now being the first those, now you're carrying the weight. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It is all pretty dope. And a lot of women are lucky for you having done that. And I want to

say congratulations on everything that you do, but I kind of wanted to go back to where you were saying, um, help women be seen when, and I guess a clarity on what and how, in what way should they be seen? Seen as, I guess I would say, I struggle with the word worthy, but I guess seen in the fact that being capable of doing the work. So I've had a lot of no's and rejection throughout my career, you know, despite my degrees, certification, years of experience, when I would try to move to the next level, I was always told, well, you need more experience or you need this and you need that. And it's like, when does it ever want to be enough? Whereas sometimes the people that were telling me that had no degrees or no relevant experience. And here it is, I'm coming with all these things to the table,

but I'm not good enough, but you are. Right. Yeah. And did you feel like those situations were like race intentional? I wouldn't say intentional, but definitely racial because most of the people that were telling me that

did look like me. Right, right, right, right, right. Trying to ask the right question and not be offensive to anybody, because I ask questions and they just roll off the top of my head. Because mostly, I mean, your business, you actually say you like empowering Black women. And I'm pretty sure you'll take anybody that wants to come work with you. But I know that you're saying Black women, and that seems important. And I wanted to get your reason why. It's important because I feel like it's definitely a need.

There's a gap in the industry right now that's not being addressed. And people say, if not me, then who? So if not me, who else is going to do it? No one else is really stepping up. And when you look at companies and the diversity statements and their targets year over year, the numbers aren't changing. And I feel like coaching is definitely one of the missed pieces because oftentimes you hear companies say like, oh, we're going to hire, we're going to hire, we're going to hire. You can't keep hiring if you have no plan to retain the people. And oftentimes you're hiring

into toxic environments and you need to address the toxicity and these systemic issues in these environments before you start bringing other people in. Has it gotten any better over the years? I mean, I don't, I don't think it has, honestly. I just, it's like, you're putting a bandaid instead of like really fixing the issue, just like put like a bandaid over something and not really getting to the root cause of everything. And what would you say the issue is? It's toxicity in the workplace, toxic work environments, toxic managers, double standards in terms of hiring, unequal pay, like the list can go on and on and on. And I guess, how do we correct that? I know, it's like at the core.

And we have to actually admit that it is a problem. That's part of the reason. No one wants to admit that this problem exists. And I feel like when people speak up, the person that speaks up is made out to be like the bad person. They're defamed in the process of speaking up. Are these in positions that are primarily male dominant positions that you are only referring to? I don't think so. I think it's honestly across the board. I would think it's honestly across the board. Gotcha.

So what do you think people are missing? You know, it's like you're sitting across and we're having an interview. And they're telling you how unqualified you are. And you're like, OK, I could have built you. You know, what what what is some is it something that you can something that you teach that can help that moment transition into yes versus no? That's a very good question. Everyone has a level of privilege. I guess I have a level of privilege. We all have a level of privilege. I guess it's this owning that and recognizing that. And that can be uncomfortable for some people.

I actually have an issue with recognizing that I have privilege. And I guess it's like, I know, but I don't know because I struggled in a whole nother way. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Because I struggled because I was always too dark to be white, but too white to be Black. So it was like I kind of went through that thing and then I'm gay in corporate America. So I feel like the reason why I don't see it or haven't seen it is because I had to kind of fight my way also. It's not that I don't want to see it. It's just, I just don't see it. My other issue is that I really don't see color. And someone told me that a Black person can be offended by that. And so I kind of wanted to get your intake on it, on both questions.

I would say regarding the privilege, I guess in one aspect, the way I have privilege is the fact that I'm a college-educated woman. So going to college and being able to finish college and have a college degree that is a privilege that's not afforded to a lot of people so I have privilege in that aspect the fact that I've had health care insurance that is a privilege that not everyone has access to so there there's different I guess like levels of privilege in regards to your question regarding not seeing color, I have heard that sentiment that some people may find that offensive because it doesn't. People say that when they hear that, it's like you really don't, I guess, see things from my perspective or recognize that there can be a difference between your experience and my experience. Because we're honestly, we're, I guess we're, I wouldn't say we're not all the same, but there's, we all have different experiences.

Like my experience as a woman, your experience as a man. Definitely, definitely. And I think that, you know, sometimes we just need to accept, kind of agree that we both have experiences that neither one would ever have. So there's no way that I can completely ever really understand what you're going through. Right. I feel like my only duty as a person who loves is to legit be my best self to everybody. You know, and if everybody kind of does that, then, you know, but that doesn't happen. And it's crazy because, you know, you have a field now because people don't want to see certain things. But do you think that black women are less looked on for positions than others?

Oh, absolutely. Because we're not in the good old boy network. We're not getting the invitations to coffee or, you know, the golf outings where all those conversations are taking place. I remember working at one of my jobs and all of the senior leaders, I guess, who would essentially have, I guess, like input into my career advancement. I would look them dead in the eye in passing and they wouldn't even like speak to me. I got on an elevator with one one day and we had a conversation previously. I spoke to him. He didn't even acknowledge me. So if you're not even looking my way or acknowledging me when I'm standing right next to you, how am I supposed to build and form that relationship? Right. Now, you know, we are a mental health podcast. So I kind of wanted to bring mental health into a little bit because that had to affect you.

Yeah. So what did you do to kind of like love yourself in those moments? Because, you know, it's like when when you said seen, I actually was thinking just seeing like you just met a person seeing me. I got away kind of simple. So I got to wear it kind of simple, but even now it's kind of like that. This person is getting on the elevator and it's like, they don't see you. So how do you deal with that mentally to get up and come and do it the next day? Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, it's tough. And I feel like having a community is definitely one of the ways you deal with it. You have your community where, again, I've had to call and vent to people or people have had to call and talk me deal with it. You have your community where, again, I've had to call and vent to people

or people have had to call and talk me off the list. So having your community and just surrounding yourself in those positive spaces or going to conferences or being a part of organizations where you can, I guess, be nourished. So you have that fuel to kind of go back into those environments

where you're so demeaned and degraded. Right. Wow. So now I'm a young person and I'm watching this episode, but I don't think there's ever a way that I can go to college and there's nothing. I won't never have the same. Opportunities as Dr. Angela over here. Honorary. Honorary, yeah, honorary for this show. She's Dr. Angela Harris. But what do you tell that person? Like, how do you motivate that person that doesn't think they deserve all that you have? Yeah, I mean, anything is possible. I would say don't count yourself out. And the first thing you, you the energy you put out is the energy that you attract. If you're going with that mindset and that mentality, that's the same. You know, that's the same thing you want to attract back.

So you have to keep a positive mindset and just know that anything is possible. You have to surround yourself with the right people, start communicating, you know, which what your goals and your wishes are. I mean, there's scholarships that are available. That's why people talk about the importance of networking. So if that's something that's important to you, start socializing that within your network. And there's, there's people out there that want to help you. And people talk about mentorship, find a mentor, a mentor can help guide you through the college application process, through the scholarship process. There's nonprofit organizations that have programs to help people enter college and stay in college. And speaking of scholarship, I think we read somewhere that there's a scholarship set up in your name. Yes, I actually

have two scholarships. I started my first scholarship in 2017 at my undergraduate alma mater, Drexel University. And that was partially motivated by my personal experience. I was a first generation college student and my mother died when I was three years old and I lost my father to cancer at the beginning of my senior year in college. And my father was basically using his retirement savings to fund my education. I didn't get any scholarships. Things are different now. There's scholarships available for Black students or Black women studying technology. That really wasn't a thing. When I was in college, I didn't get any scholarships. I got a small grant.

And after my father passed away, I didn't receive any additional funding. And thankfully, he was a steward of his money. So there was money available for me to finish to talk about privilege. I had the privilege of still being able to complete my college degree. And I remember when I called the financial aid office to explain the situation. Now both my parents are deceased. I was working part time for my co-op employer, but they laid me off the first day back after my father's funeral. I said, is there anything that you can do? And they wanted me to take out a loan, but the job market or the economy was bad the year that I was graduating. So I didn't necessarily feel comfortable taking on a loan,

not knowing if I was going to have a job to help or pay that loan after I graduated. And that experience planted the seed for me wanting to start a scholarship. And honestly, I didn't know how someone even starts a scholarship because you only hear about the Oprah's and the Bill Gates and the billionaires that are making these million dollar donations to start these huge scholarships. And I'm a single black woman, you know, working in corporate America, working in technology to pay. The pay gap is a real thing. So it seemed or appeared to be unattainable. And I remember having a meeting with someone at the university. They were asking about my involvement within my college alumni board. And that person happened to also work in

institutional advancement. So I just used it as an opportunity to say, hey, how does someone start a scholarship? Because coincidentally, I think it was like maybe 2014, I literally wrote down a goal. I have a spreadsheet where I keep all my personal and professional goals. I literally wrote down a very generic goal that says sponsor a child's tuition. And honestly, when I wrote it down, I didn't know what it was going to look like, how long it was going to take. And writing down that goal, I guess, you know, put the intention out in the universe. And when I had the conversation with that individual, that was when I learned that the university had something called a current youth scholarship. And the funding level was that either twenty five hundred dollars or five thousand dollars. $500 or $5,000. And if I funded it at $5,000, I could put specific parameters to say that I wanted my money to go to an African American student studying technology. So $5,000 may not be a lot to some people, but as again, a single woman, I'm like, I like to travel. I'm like, think about all

the things that I could potentially do with that money. But it was something that was weighing that very heavily on my heart. And I really felt compelled and motivated to do it. So literally just took the plunge and wrote a check for $5,000 out of my own pocket to start the scholarship. So that's how the scholarship got started initially. Wow. And you have two of them now, right? Right. So in 2020, during the pandemic, it was getting placed in my heart again. I wanted to do something for my graduate alma mater. So I started a similar scholarship at my graduate alma mater. And this one is actually open to undergraduate and graduate students at LaSalle University in Philadelphia in the School of Arts and Sciences. So I've had one graduate student receive the award and a couple of undergraduates have received that award.

And of course, you take donations for both? Yes, I do. Yes. Okay. So we're going to give you a thousand dollars for each. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Dr. Angela. So you just have to tell, like, tell me how we're going to sell. Oh my gosh. Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow. It's us believing in Dr. Angela Harris and what you do. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Wow. It's us believing in Dr. Angela Harris. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. That means so much to me. And actually, wow. I'm just amazed by that. I just want to share that the first scholarship that I started in 2017, I've now had three students graduate from Drexel University.

Wow. That's pretty dope. Yeah. I don't even know. I mean, what it has to do to your spirit, you know. I'm in tears right now. I'm like, oh, my God. Mike is such a great person. No, you know what? I mean, you pay it forward, right? That's what you do. honestly been blessed. I'm blessing other people, but I've been blessed in the same way just by having a scholarship, just by the relationships that I've been able to build with the students. So one of the things that I was very vocal about was that I really wanted to build relationships with the students. I didn't want to be that person that just like writes the check and just done with it. Like I've been able to form, you know, very, very good relationships with my

scholarship recipients because I wanted to be a mentor to them. The mentor that I didn't have when I was in college, you know, navigating my early career. I want to be that person to them. Also keep track. You know, you ain't you're not going to no party school. Not on my money. That's great. So actually recently I so I have a friend of mine who does hair and we were communicating once and we were talking about going out but um we didn't get to go out because she was braiding somebody's hair who had an interview so she had really long natural afro

but she didn't want to go to the interview with that so she got like a soul in something straight you know straight black and and it's like is that something it's crazy to me that people really think they have to do that but does that matter yeah it is it is and honestly um i remember it was i think it might have been like 2011 maybe i had my hair braided and it was i was actually in the process of looking for a new job at the time so i actually had that debate with myself like do I don't I actually I went with my hair braided I got the job but a few years ago I remember one of my mentees was telling me that she ended up getting a weave because she felt like that would she would feel more comfortable fitting in if she wore a weave in corporate America this was just like within the past two or three years so it really

is a thing and it's crazy to me because the last thing that's ever on my mind legit is race, you know? So when I hear this and it's like, people go through this and maybe I'm realizing that that's my privilege, you know? My privilege is not knowing that people go through this because I'm the one that breaks my heart. But I'm like, you legit now have to pay somebody to do your hair because you think it's going to give you a better chance to get a job. I feel like everybody does everything with their eyes first. You know how they say you eat a burger or whatever with your eyes first. I think everybody, you know, everybody judges a person, judge a book by its cover. I think you just, everybody judges immediately upon the first view and the hair is like the first thing a person sees.

I know. But I guess my point is you shouldn't judge them, but. Well, no. Right. Right. It happens. In a perfect world. In a perfect world, exactly.

But I guess I wanted to know like your take on that. Like, is that something you'll recommend to somebody or is that a conversation you would have? I would recommend they do what's comfortable for them. And I'll just be completely honest. I think earlier in my career, when I would go on vacation, I would get my hair braided, but I didn't necessarily feel comfortable wearing braids back in the office. I would like literally take my braids out and get my hair redone before going back into the office. I remember one time, it's like over the summer,

you know, East Coast humidity is a real thing. And I remember I had my hair braided and one of my white male co-workers, when he saw me, he's like, hey, mom. As if I was a Jamaican. And what does that do to you mentally?

Honestly, I was like young and early in my career. So I just kind of like brushed it off. But it's like, you have to endure stuff like that. It's like the, hey, mom comments or like, oh my gosh, like I didn't know your hair was so long or just asking like all these questions. It's like, it's already draining enough

to have to go into these environments, not even talking about your hair but like this as a black woman in general so you add on a hair equation like sometimes you just don't want to add you just don't want to be bothered right right and how do you like muster that energy you know for me i was i guess it's like more avoidance like i said i've been just oftentimes just like take my braids out to not even have to deal with the drama. Is that something you still feel that you would do? No, no. So what changed your mentality? I guess age. Yeah. She was like, you're going to take me as I is. Don't mess with me. Right. So now tell us a little bit about your services so i am

young and i am ready to be empowered or any age for that matter right any age definitely we're just we're ready to be empowered we're ready to let go we're ready to stop being victims and start being victors and we call dr ang. Angela Harris honorary for the show. What do we do? What do we get? Yeah, well, I typically take my clients to like a three phase process. The first process, well, the first phase that I use is called rediscovering your gifts. I feel like oftentimes if we aren't feeling that fulfillment or that, you know, that excitement about our job, it's typically because we're out of alignment. And sometimes we're afraid to kind of just recognize that it's OK to pivot.

You may have gone to college for, you know, one degree or one specialization, but, you know, people change and evolve over time. And it's OK to try something new. So one of the ways we do this is start by evaluating, identifying what your what your values are. Coming up with a personal mission statement. I'm also certified in an attitudinal assessment called the Energy Leadership Index Assessment. So what this assessment does is give you insights and how you view and perceive situations. So if you are navigating something, you can shift your perspective and understand like, okay, I know I'm approaching this from a negative perspective. How can I raise my energy and approach this from a more positive space? The next phase is called rediscovering your gifts, releasing the doubt. So we all have these, the negative self-talk, the voices in our head that oftentimes we think it's like saving us, but it could be holding us back from unlocking

what our true potential is. So it's learning how to reframe that negative self-talk in our head. And the final phase is called rise to greatness. Can you explain what a self-talk is? So that inner critic, like, oh, I'm not good enough. They're never going to hire me. It's going to be too hard. If I start this business, it's going to fail. I'm not smart enough to write this book. Any negative thing that's going to talk you out of doing what that inner whisper is.

We have those inner whispers that say it might be time for you to leave that job or leave that relationship or, you know, move to a new city or state. But oftentimes out of fear, we hold ourselves back and remain in spaces that are comfortable for us. Right. So, but self-talk, do you believe it can be positive?

Absolutely. Like I'm a huge fan of affirmations. So like one part of my, I'm also a big fan of like having a morning routine. So one part of my morning routine is like just reading positive quotes, positive affirmations. Like sometimes I'll actually say them to myself

out loud at the mirror. I have an app on my phone called the Think Up app where you can actually record affirmations in your own voice. So as I'm getting ready in the morning, sometimes I have that playing in the background. Hey me, it's me. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Good morning. Beautiful. I mean, if you don't believe it, so who else is going to believe it? Once I was, I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror. I'm like, yo,

you are looking good. And then you were killing it, right? Brush my teeth yet though. It's like, can you wait till you brush your teeth first? Oh, I'm sorry. I stopped you at number two. Number three. Number three is rise to greatness. So essentially it's like bringing all the work that we've done together. So helping you, you know, work on your personal branding, helping you work on a networking strategy, helping you come up with that morning routine so you have a sustainable process to help set yourself up for long-term success. And if a person comes to you and they are also suffering from mental health issues, do you take care of that? No, that is completely separate from coaching. So if I were to,

I guess, determine that, I would definitely make a recommendation that they would work with a therapist in that instance, because therapy and coaching are two different things. And I'm not a licensed, I'm a certified coach, but I'm not a licensed mental health professional. I know that's right. And that's why I asked, just so people know the difference and that there is a difference. Right. And I do want to add that why I asked, just so people know the difference and that there is a difference. Right. And I do want to add that I guess like coaching and therapy can be done in conjunction. There's nothing that says you can't be in therapy and also work with the coach. And honestly, they're very complimentary.

Right, right, right. And that's good. Honestly, I was going to ask that next time. Let me ask it, OK? We're connected. We're connected. Do you have a pretty good success rate with your programs in terms of? Success? Yeah. Sorry. I was trying to read my question.

It's a thing with me. I don't read my question entirely. This is what happens. Look at Dr. Angela. I tell her all the time, just read it. Just read it. It's okay. Look, at least Angela, you're going to know what you talk about because it's written down and you got to know it, right? So read it. How are you able to gauge your success rate or the success rate of your clients after going through your sessions or your program? Yeah, that's a great question. And one of the things I do is I simply ask them. I do like, I guess, like an end of coaching agreement, I guess, like survey feedback type thing. And I

ask, I guess, like what they gain from working with me. Like some of them have landed new positions. Some of them have negotiated job offers that's been very favorable for them. They have shared that they have more confidence. They're speaking up more. They're challenging themselves to do new things. So they just uncovered so much more about themselves that they didn't have prior to working with me. Now, is this a length of this course? I've been posting them, but there's some posted on my website. I've also been sharing them on social media, some of my testimonials. No, no.

I meant the length of the program. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. We got it. We're going to send people to your Instagram. My coaching program is a six-month one-on-one coaching program that I offer. Now, if you see a person needs a little more than six months, is that something you allow?

We can work something out. Yes. But you don't need any help in this area. Leave the girl alone or the woman alone. I apologize. I am trying to look, I get it from anywhere I can. Your education is education, right? Dr. Angela? Yes. Yes. So what's your ultimate goal in all of this?

Like I said, ultimately, just to make an impact again, I'm very passionate about lifting while I climb and creating opportunities for other people to thrive. And I really want to see the numbers change as it relates to, you know, women and Black women in technology. The numbers have been flat for years. I think it's been flat at about 3%. And I think during the pandemic, it might have dipped to about 2.2% for Black women in the tech industry. So I really want to see some shifts in those numbers. Do you have a team working with you or is it just you it's just me but i do bring in other folks um i have like a personal branding person that i work with i have like a communications person that i work with but i do have other folks that i can kind of tap into as needed right okay because she cut me off. Sorry, I cut him off. We do that sometimes. You know what, Angela? I don't know what I'm going to do with her. I don't know what I'm going to do with her.

So you, I'm pretty sure, have heard a lot of no's in your life. Yes. How did you keep striving for that yes? Like, what was your motivation? You may have already answered it. And I guess I'm trying to ask for, once again, I always say our audience. Someone's watching this video right now and they're working at a Walmart making $14.99 an hour. Mm-hmm. You know, and they feel like this is all my life is going to be. But a little part of them is saying it could be more.

Mm-hmm. What does Dr. Angela Harris tell them to do? I would say prove yourself, like prove them wrong, but also prove yourself right. And I feel like every time someone told me a no, I feel like, okay, you're going to tell me no, but I'm going to find somebody that's going to tell me yes. So that's just always been my motivation. Like, okay, you don't think I'm good enough. I know I'm good enough. I'm going to find that one person that's going to believe that I'm good enough. Right. But there had to be at least one moment where you were down. What was that extra kick in the butt you got? I think the fact that.

You're you. Thank you. But honestly, just looking at my life, the fact that I lost my mother to cancer when I was three, lost my father when I was a senior in college, the fact that I still graduated. Some people may have dropped out at that moment, but I still persevered and pushed through this, knowing how hard I worked to earn my degree. I feel like there was a lot of tears, the blood, sweat, and tears to earn that degree, along with the money my father spent for my education. Again, I didn't want to see any of that go to waste. For sure. So what's next for you? Well, let's back up. I think you wrote some books, yes?

Yeah, I'm a contributing author in an anthology that was published in 2022 by the Drexel University Black Alumni Council. And it's an anthology of over 50 alumni across the decades sharing, I guess, our inspirational stories to help encourage the next generation of Drexel students. And the proceeds from that book support an endowed scholarship that due back to Drexel University Black Alumni Council started. And I'm also in the process of working on my first solo project, which is a book related to workplace trauma and Black women in corporate America. Wow. That sounds deep. I was just going to say, that sounds like a lot of work. It is. It's a Herculean effort.

It's a lot. Honestly, the motivation behind the book was my personal lived experience, sadly, with workplace trauma. Exactly what I was going to ask. Was it workplace trauma. Exactly what I was going to ask. Was it, you know, workplace trauma? Micah has a thing for strong women. And now from now on, whenever I think, I think I'm going to think this, when I think of strong women, I'm going to think about you.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, because hearing about all of this that you've overcome and are doing and succeeding with. You're doing it and you're so right. You're so many first. Yeah. You know, and that's pretty cool, too. Yeah. You know, so. But you know what? You're showing people that you have to believe in yourself. You're showing people that you have to love yourself. Yeah. You know, so, but you know what, you're showing people that you have to believe in yourself. You're showing people that you have to love yourself. Yeah. Really targeting an important area. Right. Right. Because you have to feel worthy of these positions that you're going for and you're, and you're going to, so that, is like you have to feel worthy enough. Now, part of your business is focused towards Black women. Do you think that they are hearing what you're saying? Do you think that, you know, I feel like I know a lot of, so I'm from, originally from Virginia,

more specifically a city called Suffolk. And in Suffolk, you were either white or you were black. Anything else was considered Mexican. It didn't matter what you were. You was just Mexican. But, you know, we grew up in a poor neighborhood. We lived around a lot of black people. And, you know, it's like even now, my best friend, she is 40 years old and she still like pays all her bills in cash, you know, it's like even now my best friend, she is 40 years old and she still like pays all her bills in cash because she doesn't see her life worth any more than what it is. So I guess my question is, how do you motivate that person? You know, I've been a lot like you, but different.

I didn't have any struggles. My thing was I always wanted to succeed. I always wanted more. I knew that I always wanted more. And I feel like some people kind of just like accept. Yeah. Like I'm never going to get it because I'm Black. So why even try? I think that's where exposure comes in. And I think that there will be the opportunity just to start inviting that person to certain events or inviting them along with different people. I think it's really exposure because, I mean, if you're only in that environment, that's all you know. But once you start stepping outside of your environment and exposing yourself to new people, places and things, you can shift your perspective and see what's possible.

Now, what happens when you take a step in that environment and you get hurt? That is possible too, but I guess it's just a learning experience that that may not be the environment for you. Not all environments are going to be like that, but that particular one is just not for you. And just, you know, just keep, keep going. It just might play into the kind of person you are in the end. Well, why do I keep going? Why do I, it goes back to really have to want it for yourself too. It's just like, what do you really want for yourself? Okay. Good answer. See, that's why you Dr. Angela on this one.

And it might not, I mean, it's all about timing too. It might you knocked the Angelo on this one. And it might not, it's all about timing too. It might not be the right time for that person. It doesn't mean it can't happen, but in that moment, it might not be the right time or opportunity. She gonna watch this and she gonna curse me out, but she drives me crazy. I be like, would you like bust out a debit card or something?

Like she is right now still the woman that's holding you up in line because she got seven cents in her bag. OK. And she got to look for this. And I'm like, girl, I would just put on my card. Now I got seven cents. I'm going to get it in a minute.

Apparently our producers like that too. Our producers like that too. But I always, you know, to me, as I've always seen, I always feel like I want more for her than she wanted for herself. Yeah. Yeah. It's really hard for me to move away from her. But I knew that she wouldn't want more for herself. And that drove me crazy. So to this day, it drives me crazy. It drives me crazy. I would say, you know, support her and encourage her. Just continue to support her and encourage her. Why do I do that. You're

supposed to give me something that's supposed to change it. See, I wanted you to be Jesus in that moment, right? You're supposed to give me some wine and had an answer. I read some interesting things about you that you tried something new every day for a year. Fascinating. Tell me some of those things that you tried. She felt stuck in her career and her daughter challenged her to try one new thing every day for a year. So she turned that into a book, pretty much documenting all of her experiences. And I'm always, you know, I was kind of feeling stuck at that time. So this sounds pretty cool that let me challenge myself to do something similar. So in the year 2016, that was my goal to try one new thing every day for a year. And I also purchased the book from one of my close friends, the countess. I got her the book. And the very first dare that

the author did was the Atlantic City Polar Bear Plunge. So a polar bear plunge is when you run into a freezing cold ocean just because. You did. It wasn't my plan to do it. Let me tell you a story. I got the book from my friend, LaCountess, and I remember she sent me a text message right before New Year's of

2016. She's like, I want to do the polar bear plunge. I'm looking at my phone like, I'm just thinking like, cold, my hair, all these things are going through my hair. I'm like, this is not what I envisioned for my life right now. But being the good friend that I am, I felt obligated to support her because I purchased a book for her, so I can't leave my friend hanging. So long story short,

we end up doing the Elena Sidney Poe Blue Bear Plunge January 1st, 2016. So that was the very first year that I did. And we were on such a high after that. We felt like, okay, we can do this like that. We're ready to

tackle the rest of the year. The rest of the year is going to be a piece of cake. I got so sick after that. I like on my couch i bet i bet oh my gosh you know what though in this in that story you taught me a valuable lesson right about no no it's true about maybe sometimes i do i think i maybe i dismiss things a little too quickly because you said polar bear, polar, what's polar bear plunge? Polar bear plunge. Right. So I was like, yo, I'm thinking about how cold it was. And you was like, I had to think about how cold it was and my hair. And I'm like, that would have never been a concern of mine. So what's that mean? Cause I was looking at the

calendar. It was like the day after my, my scheduled hair appointments. I'm like, I can't get my hair wet. Right, right. But it's like, you know, it goes to show that you never really know what a person is going through, how they think, what mind frame they are in. You never know. You know, it was like just in that moment, it was like I would have never thought about my hair. You know, I'm thinking about to get a frostbitten. My toes. But yeah, so it's really cool.bitten. You taught me the lesson just right there.

What are some other things you tried? I paid for a stranger's groceries at the grocery store one time. Okay, that's cool. You just blessed somebody there. I did that. I think the other crazy wild thing that I did that year was I rappelled 29 stories down an office building to raise money for charity. That was pretty cool. I saw you did that. And you skydived twice.

I saw that. Yeah. And the second time I went skydiving was actually on my 40th birthday in Dubai. Who goes skydiving on their actual birthday? And they're in Dubai. You don't know what them people saying. You're not going to be trusted. No, I need to understand everything you're

saying. My instructor was American. I was just thinking, you know what, Angela, I'm about to take the doctor away from you. I need you, Angela, now. But you got the doctor back. That was quick. She's pretty dope.

Yeah. So we're going to ask you because we ask every guest, right? Guilty pleasure. What is one thing that you like or love, but you kind of embarrassed about it? I would say some of the reality shows like the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Potomac. I'm an Atlanta. No wonder you two get along.

Look, Atlanta, I ain't ashamed about that though, honey. I watch it faithfully every week. Okay. And then I make my mom watch it, right? Because you know what, Angela? I'm about to do something I ain't done before.

I'm trying to make a plea to Andy Cohen, right? I want to be the first male peach holder of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's going to be dope. I'm like, bring the gay Puerto Rican in there and I can come with all spicy and stuff, you know?

So, Andy, call me. Put it out there, right? Right. Have your people call my people and when that happens, when we go on whatever trip we go on, Angela, you're going to be my friend that I bring. Right. I'm going to honorate Dr. Angela. You're about to be the first male peach. Right.

My number will be flashy at the bottom of the screen. I'm his manager. Yes. I want you to be the first male peach holder. But who's your favorite housewife? Oh, God. I'm talking about Atlanta. It's the only one I watch, Atlanta. I would say Candy. I like Candy.

I love Candy, too. But you know who I've been liking lately? Kenya. Because she's been like, she's kind of been like like, maybe last season. I liked her a lot last season because she was like fun and like you know, you don't she was like fun and like, you know,

you don't think so? She's like, I don't see it. Like I said, I mean, Candy's still my favorite. I guess like another guilty pleasure show that I have

is like the Married at First Sight and like the 90 Day Fiance. Would you ever do that? Hmm? Would you ever do that? That's the thing. I don't think I could ever do that so that's why I watch it.

I wish that I could, right? But I guess, I don't know. I think I would do it. I mean, I'm done. I'm done the dare stuff. I think that's just out of my league. I'll jump out of a plane again before I do that. She's talking about, you're talking

about marriage. I think I jumped out of a plane before I did that too. Marry at first sight. You ever been married? I have not. Me neither. No comment. I just like pick a Rebecca.

But yeah, so now tell some people how they can reach you, what they can look forward to. Say yourself to our audience a little bit. Sure. You can reach me on my website at AngelaVHarris.com. I'm also very active on LinkedIn at Angela V. Harris.

And my Instagram is Coach Angela V. Harris. And I would say the next thing to look out for will be my book on workplace trauma and Black women, which will be out sometime in 2024. Okay. And you're going to come back and talk about it. I would love to. I would love to come back if you'll have me back. Of course you family now, girl. Thank you. Thank you for sending me how I can donate.

Yes. Thank you so much. If it's okay. I want to put on our website as well. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Thank you. And thank you for what you're doing and for kind of changing the stigma in workplaces is really, really dope. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Thank you. And thank you for what you're doing and for kind of changing the stigma in workplaces. It's really, really dope. I bother, we have a position open where we work and I tell them every day, can y'all just please hire a Black woman? And what they say is, not that they wouldn't, no one applies. They haven't had a Black woman.

Where are they looking? That's the problem. Where are they looking? Where should they be? Where are they problem. Where are they looking? Where should they be? Where are they posting the opportunities that they aren't attracting any black women? We're like on Indeed and like those kind of places. Send a job to me and I'll see what I can do. All right. All right. Cool. Because, yeah, because they with it and we haven't been able to find nobody. And I'm like, I feel like we need a little flavor.

We have employees from so many different walks of life, countries. I'm just talking about in the office. It's just like, yeah. But yeah. I'm talking about in the office. You know what I'm saying? They had me with all these old white women. Yeah, we work together.

I'm just picking. You know what's crazy, though? So my whole life, I kind of always felt like I knew who my tribe was. And then the universe brought me into this place where I'm now. So my whole life, I kind of always felt like I knew who my tribe was. And then the universe brought me into this place where I'm now, where I work with five of the craziest white women you would ever meet. And I feel at home and I'm like, wow, this is my tribe. You know, it's pretty cool because I decided to look for something different other than what I knew my whole life, you know. So the only bad thing is that I'm the ghetto one in office. She's like, that's not funny.

I am though, Angela, I am. So how do I excel? Because I keep telling them, right? I'm like, y'all leave me alone because if you mess with me, I'm telling everybody that you did it because I was gay. He does that. He does say that. Right. You got to have a backup plan. So if you try to fire me, you fire me because I was gay. Oh my gosh. You know, because I walk into a place of feminist action. That's the first thing I let them know. They'd be like, I'm here for my interview. I'm the gay guy. And of course he jokes. He would never do that. Of course, he jokes.

He would never do that. Okay, maybe he would. Any last words for our viewers, Angela? I know we're silly. We're just a silly bunch. But we believe mental health and dealing with things can be fun. It doesn't always have to be miserable. It doesn't always have to be hard and tough.

It's actually really easy to start working on yourself and starting to find your worthiness and it's really easy to kind of change those self-talks and it's funny i was taught i was taught um self-talk by an indian woman and she basically told me to actually complete the thought like complete the whole talk. You know, she was like, it's a conversation. So don't just see you getting the job. See what you're like, you know, not like when you're talking to yourself, don't just say I got the job. I got the job and I was able to buy this house.

I got the job, I was able to buy this house and I bought this car. So it was like, you know, she was like, finish the talk, have the conversation with yourself. So it's pretty dope that you brought up self-talk and that it is a positive thing. And I think that people should try to, no one, we say it can sell you like you can sell you. And it's kind of how we always start our shows. And it's like, be worthy enough to sell yourself the way you think you should be sold. I know that sounds crazy, but it makes sense. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I guess this is a piggyback off of that. Like another thing that I do, I write letters to myself. Like I write a, like a future dated, like one year letter to

myself to kind of, I guess like forecast, like where I expect to be, like whether it's where I'm living, where I'm working, like vacations, things of that nature. So I write letters to myself. Do you find that you're a different person than you were when you wrote the letter? Sometimes. I think I started doing this probably back in maybe 2014 as well. So it's interesting to go back to some of the older ones and see what has changed or what hasn't changed or see like, you know, common themes year over year. So what do you say to people who are scared of that growth? I mean, growth is uncomfortable, but what's on the other side, it's like, would you rather live with regret than kind of just

being uncomfortable temporarily? I think there's a statistic I read that said 98% of people die without fulfilling their dreams. Do you want to be in that 98% or do you want to be that 2%? I'd be telling, look, my mom, right? That's a high percentage. Angela, my mom has been searching for the perfect bra for years now. Right? She's going to be mad. I'm telling y'all her business.

We will get a bra delivery every day. Okay? delivery every day. I'm telling my mother just go somewhere and buy a good bra. Let them measure you, make it custom. Freaking spend a thousand dollars on a bra because you're doing it anyway and you keep buying all these bras.

Like, ma, you is worthy of a good bra. The one I hit her with the other day is she needs some new bra. And the one I hit her with the other day is, uh, she needs, she needs some new teeth. Poor mother.

Look, and I told her the same thing. Like you gotta feel worthy. You gotta feel worthy. But my thing is like, if, if don't just want it, feel worthy enough to get it. You know,

that's what I'm trying to say. I'll part out by my mama teeth, but you got to feel worthy enough to get it. That's what I'm trying to say. I'll add a part out by my mama teeth. But you got to feel worthy enough to get it. And I think that's a lot of what you do. It's kind of like Rebecca says, when you think of strong women, and I do, I love strong women because my mom was a strong woman and she was a wife, but she was still strong. She allowed my father to be a husband, but she was still strong. So it was very to be a husband but she was still strong. So it was very cool to see that and I look for that in everybody.

I feel like that should have been everybody's example of what a woman was. But now we got Angela Harris. You are an example of what women should want to be, what we're seeing. So thank you for being that example. Thank you.

And we will see you guys soon. Thank you guys for listening and watching. And yeah, we'll be in touch, Angela, number one, because I got to do my donation. And number two, because we got to get you back on. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I really, this is so much fun. Thanks so much. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.