These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Episode 202: Interview W/ LaJune Sigleton - Author of "Releasing My Trauma..."

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

Send us a Text Message.Join us for this very therapeutic episode when we talk about overcoming depressing and grief with LaJune Singleton. We will discuss her book, her platform, and the many events she has planned around mental health breakthroughs...You won't want to miss this.you can find us on all podcast platforms as well as YouTube, Facebook Watch, and IGTV....#podcast #fyp #foryourpage #foryoupage #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmattersAdvertising Inquiries: https://r...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it grab a drink and take a seat the session begins now what's up guys sorry about that we actually had some technical difficulties um if you're kind of just tuning in or for some reason we lost the first 15 minutes of this very exciting interview we're here with lejeune singleton she is the author of Release My Trauma The Root of Self-Sabotage Board Certified Health and Nutrition Specialist or Coach Coach and then

a Mind Frame Strategist okay so we actually were um we were just talking a little bit about your book and we were talking over I guess um know, the control issue of molestation. Now, just to go a little more into your book, I guess your cousin kind of went through something that was similar to you was physically abused and he was also sexually assaulted by another cousin that was in the home. He ended up having to live with my aunt when my grandparents got sick. She took him in because she had all boys um it just you know of course it seemed like the right thing but um he he experienced it and it's it's just unfortunate that he didn't get to see life he was murdered right at 18, 19 people he thought were friends murdered him

threw his naked body on the church ground and left so it hurts because he came in dealt a fucked up hand right

and he died with a fucked up hand. Right, right, right, right, right. And he died with a fucked up hand. So he was so talented sports wise. He could sing. Oh, my God. He was so talented. And is it like sometimes you're like, how does that happen to someone this golden? You know, but me, I like to believe in paradise or maybe you know a better

life after this so so he's up there look look or up there or out there um you know kind of smile on us right now um but so did you guys ever discuss kind of what you went through or was it just kind of like a a bond unspoken so we never talked about it um my sister was actually molested as well um it's not something we talked about but all three of us were very close like it was literally like he was our brother so we used to call him brother uncle cousin because my grandparents raised him for a minute he's actually my uncle's son. And he was like our brother. He was always over. We loved him so much.

He was family. So that's not something that we talked about. It was something that was that unspoken known. Right. Okay. Now, was there ever a time because of the people you knew kind of went through it that you ever thought like what I'm going through is normal? I knew it wasn't normal. Okay.

I felt embarrassed because I couldn't do anything. And, you know, you want to protect yourself. You want to stop something. And I felt embarrassed for years. I wouldn't talk about it. And I think I mentioned it to one of my cousins about it. And it was like I was so embarrassed about that I couldn't do anything to stop this. Right.

So it was more of, you know, like I mentioned in the book, being on a bus and getting off the bus and boys are grabbing my butt and trying to grab me between my legs and i'm like yo if i can't fight this teenage boy yo i'm gonna fight you right right right and i see you did which is you know i guess it started in your strength, you know, and you fighting for yourself and you finding your voice. So now I know we also talk about like your mom, how you kind of told her about this and she really didn't do anything about it or didn't believe it to say. Are you guys healed after that or talk now? As you know, being from the South, the unspoken. Right.

We're good. I talk to her. Not about that, but just we talk. Definitely. Well, basically, she talks. I listen. Yes, it's how it happens when our parents get older. They have a lot to say.

But I would say I'm in a good place with her because some things you're not you're not going to be able to change people. That's the reality of life. Either you're going to accept them where they are or you're going to move on. So I accept her where she is. Being mad at her, having an attitude, wanting to curse her out is not going to change the situation. What happened happened. It's in the past. But, you attitude, wanting to curse her out is not going to change the situation. What happened, happened. It's in the past. But, you know, I definitely love her.

I appreciate she was a single mom that raised me and my sister on a minimum wage job. And she provided and made sure we had the best of the best. So, you know, like and like I said in the book book i don't know what her upbringing and what her experience was so you know i think she did the best that she could with what she had and i do appreciate her um for making sure that we were taken care of so um yeah and and i hope look i should have asked in the beginning but i hope these questions aren't too too personal but you wrote a book you wrote a book about it they're like well is she cool with her mom she hates her mom you know because i actually had somebody come to me and was like dang you wrote this book your mom's still alive and my thing is

this why wait till somebody's dead to write about them right and you're speaking your truth and that's like the biggest that's my experience um right and you know that's not because some people don't like talking about it or whatever because somebody suggested therapy i was like yeah my mom ain't going to therapy sounds great right and it's it's really funny because you mentioned being from the south but i also think it's just back in their day you know we always hear about things about back in their day people didn't talk back in their day you know my mom is hispanic and you know i hear stories about her mom used to tie her outside and like a dog on a tree when she was eight years old i never

heard that from my mom but i heard it from like her sisters and other people. And, you know, it kind of makes you realize, like, wow, every mistake she ever made is OK, because like you said, I don't know what she went through. Because, you know, there's no heard that my aunt was really sick and she had appendicitis and my grandmother ignored it somebody else came along and told her take that baby to the hospital because she's sick found out it was appendicitis so it should have been you see your child is sick your child is telling you that she's sick something should have been done right but you know they're ready to put an onion in a sock and hang it up and that's gonna let's take it away but um do you ever think if you grew up in this era or in this time maybe things would have been different or your life would have been different i would say no because it's people now that's being molested in the home um as people whose boyfriends or the kid's father or whatever, the uncles, whatever, is in the home, mom's seeing this is happening and they're not doing anything.

I used to work in a group home with girls and one of the girls in the home would say that her mom knew the boyfriend was sneaking in the room having sex, but he was paying the rent. He was paying for all the stuff in the house so I would definitely say I wouldn't say things would have been different because the reality is it's about

if the person's parent or guardian or whomever is willing to take the initiative to protect this child and make sure that this don't continue. Right. Okay. And you know what? I never thought about it that way, because I see things now where people are being more open or using social media as a platform.

But you're right. There's still a lot of closeted things going on that we don't know about, only because it's kind of like generational curses as people say lately but it's like you know my parents didn't talk about it so i'm not gonna talk about it or it's that embarrassment you know it's like something happened to you yet you're embarrassed that it happened so um i guess let's go into your trip because that's kind of like when things took a turn for you, correct?

It was. So how Bali came about, one of my friends invited me to go with her for her birthday. It was a week and I was like, I don't I don't know if I can afford to go. And she was like, OK, you you know this is an investment i'm like i don't know this lot this is like 500 a month for six months and i'm struggling just to catch up on my bills so i made it happen um went to bali it was life-changing it was a total of six of us. People, somebody was from New York, somebody was from D.C., the U.K., Atlanta, the facilitator, Shanoa Maxwell, and me and my friend. Okay. And it was amazing. It was, I didn't even know the abandonment issues because we never connect grief with abandonment.

Right. So the emotional disconnect, the lack of vulnerability, the lack of openness because I was closed. It took a lot for me. I had to trust you, trust you to open up to you. So it was life changing. and i felt so different and just being around the people who basically money wasn't important money was another issue for me i was suicidal over money um money wasn't important When we went to the water cleansing, the first thing he said, don't pray for money. Because we don't pray for money.

Money is not important. They were so happy. And they were just so at peace. And I came back and everybody, before I even left, we had breakfast together. And they were like, you look different than when you came in and then when i came back to maryland i went to work and they were like you you different right so i guess it was it like a point in your life that you knew you needed change or that you knew you just needed to try something else so it was um i i did that i started doing coaching i started listening to stuff um i started

journaling and i wasn't a writer you know writing stuff before because one of my the friend i went with was always like you should journal like what am i journaling about? Right. What am I going to write about? So I understood the concept of actually, you know, as it says in the Bible, write it down, make it plain on tablet. So I started writing things and then I was like, okay, I just went to release that let me release everything and completely let it go because like you said you experience losing your dad molestation things like that so many people experience it but we don't talk about it we sweep it under the rug because it's like i don't want to be judged i don't want people you know thinking that i did something or maybe i had you know my shorts at six years old was too tight or you know my shirt's too tight and i ain't even got breasts at six okay yeah you know what my thing was being feminine

you know i grew up being feminine and i never want this one thing I did not want to be I'm like why am I feminine you know I wanted to be just one of the guys and play basketball and you know and it's crazy because I was really adventurous we grew up in New York City so I used to like jump from roof to roof with my brother you know when you think about now you're like you are so dumb but you know that was always like my biggest thing you know I didn't I didn't want to be feminine and it took me I'm gonna say maybe into the last two years to come to terms with okay you're feminine you know and it's like i'm 40 now okay because thing with me is you know i grew up um i love playing sports um definitely that side of you know being tomboy the side of being feminine and i enjoyed what i enjoyed i enjoyed

softball i enjoyed track and field basketball you know i would come up with games um because i'm you know the youngest and sometimes i would play by myself and i would play with dogs and i would be in the closet and you know do different voices for my stuffed animals and dolls and stuff and my sister mom would always open the door and be like who are you talking who's in here with you you and your own little world and it was my own world and that was my release and it was okay where I felt like this is me and nobody can change me but me if it's something I don't like about me, I'm going to work on it.

And, you know, I don't look at other people's expectations of me. You got to accept the expectations of yourself. So if you feminine embrace your femininity. But right. Right. Right. You know, you're still a man. Right.

Definitely. right right right you know you're still a man right definitely and that's kind of like what you know it's funny because um i've actually seen some interviews you did and how we talk about like you know especially people of color puerto rican um no one talks about therapy and going to therapy or seeking help or just talking to people and i've been a therapist for like the last two years and for a long time i didn't talk about anything i was a lot like you was like embarrassment now you can't get me to shut up you know it's like shut up it was like the worst thing i could have ever did was went to therapy and realized like this is non-biased no judgment they don't know me personally so after this

session what they they gonna do? You know, write a book about me, you know, talk about me on a podcast. Like it doesn't matter anymore, you know? And so that's kind of what therapy did for me.

It made me to the point where I'm like, I just don't care no more. It's like, okay, this is my life. This is kind of what I went through. I know I'm flawed, but you're not flawed.

You are who you are. And everything that happened to you is your experience and how you took it and what you learned from it and how you're moving forward with it so don't look at it as I'm flawed look at it as this is who I am as a person either you know you have to accept you before anybody else can accept you definitely and and i agree with that and i guess the only reason why i kind of use the word flawed is because i know there's things i still need to work on and i'm the type of person process of a work in progress it's under construction so you can say i'm under construction because you're not flawed you just under construction because you're still working on things that have from your past that's impacted your life

okay you know what so i read your book and it helped and now this conversation's okay don't be um sending me no bill for no copay okay i go to my therapist but i like that right and the funny thing is somebody i was on somebody's podcast um about december november december and they literally just sent me a message and said thank you because of you i was able to shed my covid weight and i was like oh okay all right and honestly that was like a reason i was very excited about this, too. Not so much because I need to shed my COVID weight, even though I do. But because of your some your intelligence, you're you know, you're so well-rounded. It was like, OK, I'm about to get up here and I'm about to ask all these questions and I'm taking notes and this is recorded.

And, you know, you help change my life and, you know, then maybe I could pass it on and do it for somebody else also. So, COVID. How did you go? So, it's crazy because you had COVID during when it was scary. Like, 2020. That's when people didn't know. Like, did you, were you scared? I wasn't.

Like, what was your mindset? I was not. My mindset, I didn't watch TV. I wasn't on social media like that. I actually started my podcast during COVID. So if you look at my first season, there is, it's audio only because yeah, I was looking at hot mess and yeah. So, um, I started that. I started really working on my business. I really started to pour into my book. Um, and I just started focusing on me. You know, I talk about my ex in a book, my ex and I are really good friends. And, um,

I just started working on me and pouring and investing into me and what I wanted to do and what that looked like. So that's what COVID, like I said, it was a sinus headache. I would sleep. My head would hurt. I would take something. So luckily you didn't have it that bad. It wasn't bad because my two friends, they were bad. Like they were coughing.

They had fevers. Like it was really bad for them. And I'm like and it also my nutrition is good. So for people who don't know if your immune system is good based on what you're eating and you're putting in your body, your COVID symptoms are not going to be severe. Right. Right. And that's actually something i need to work on my my nutrition is so bad i have a issue with food i really don't like meat but i don't like just you're right so i stick with like bread and sugar you know because to me that's fine and here it is the stuff that's like grown from the earth it's like oh i can taste the

dirt in it it's like horrible to me it's like horrible and then it's like meat it's like oh meat is just disgusting like it bleeds and like you know gorillas don't eat meat and look how huge they are you know um so yeah so come on what you got for me So basically you have to Train your palate to something That you will enjoy So one of my friends Calls me flexitarian And I think it's hilarious

So that means that Sometimes I'm vegan Sometimes I'm not I don't eat a lot of meat. If I do, it's turkey, it's fish or shrimp. And I try not to do a lot of shrimp because I've noticed every time I get a physical, my cholesterol is elevated because too much shrimp. But I get up.

I do. Never knew that. I do buy a lot of vegan products Like vegan cheese They got vegans It just sounds nasty I have friends that's like you And it's hilarious to me

And I'll have something And I'll be like try it Like is this vegan Try it They're literally like, is this vegan? Try it. They're literally like, okay, that's good. Okay. Oh, I can't do it. I have like the strongest taste buds in the world.

And I feel like it's just, I can't. I have a cousin who's vegan. And every time we go to her house, she has like vegan salt. Who has vegan salt? Like, can I just get regular salt? Like just the regular salt, please. It's like a i just get regular salt like just the regular salt please it's like a non-salt salt what see you haven't heard of that one right but yeah so you have to find something that you like and you have to be open to it because

you're already going into it with a negative mindset of this is going to be nasty I ain't going to like it Yeah I ain't going to like it It's down nasty You're right you're not going to like it It is going to be nasty That makes sense Now we're going into your mindset So basically

You have to go into it With an open mind Because my mom is like that When she was here for my college graduation. She had her nose turned up. So in Louisiana, all they really know is catfish, catfish. We have a fish called buffalo and white perch or perch. So I went to this place and bought fish and I was like um my aunt was there and i said okay

you know taste it it's whiting i don't know if i'ma like that my just try it i don't know she tried it she liked it right i've been like that lately a little bit just a little bit while i'm trying things see like i did change my diet i realized i had really bad allergies and a lot of mucus so i stopped doing dairy and the mucus kind of went away so i do know that like changing your diet does help but when i sit down and think about what the hell i'm gonna eat so you gotta make a list of something that you like and you would enjoy so if this maybe broccoli with vegan cheese um i'm telling you dyer really has some really good cheese and i'm i been on cheese since i could probably start chewing so to make that transition it literally tastes like regular cheese um and some chips called uh

vegan robs i got it for one of my clients to try because she loves Cheetos. So they're like Cheetos. And she's like, oh, my God, these are good. And, you know, introduce stuff to clients that are typically like yourself. Like, I don't know about this. I have a video on YouTube Of all my favorite snacks And I list stuff that I like Because I do have a picky taste But I'm picky about what I eat

Right And I'll find that link and I will put it on our website For you guys watching I'm going to check it out myself My favorite drinks and snacks Okay I realize like me People go to breakfast and you know the one bacon

and eggs you know me I'm like I mean either I don't want that so I'm gonna go for the biscuits but I'm gonna eat three biscuits because I'm hungry you know and I realized that you know this biscuit here this here this like You know gluten free Which takes away And the difference from you know a lot of people don't know Gluten is heavy So If you ever notice when you're eating

Something with gluten in it You feel like immediately tired When it doesn't have gluten in it It's lighter Okay So I try to do a lot of stuff that doesn't have gluten in it you know definitely it can be challenging when you're out and about and you're starving and you're like okay well i gotta get just anything right that makes sense you know i'm gonna go get chicken fried chicken and and french fries i'm like a

french fry person it's like uh and i know in my head honestly i do know that i need to start eating healthier especially like now we're doing this interview i just got the hospital this morning i have pneumonia i have pneumonia they had me on an iv drip for like an hour but you know the show must go on as they say so it's like i need to get my life together start eating better but it's my relationship with food i gotta fix it some kind of way you do and also what's your stress level because that was one of my things was i was getting sick i was getting sinus infections i think um i forgot what year it was. I got pneumonia and that was my first time getting pneumonia because my stress level was like up here. And it was I was getting sick.

I was missing work. I got work was stressing me out. And it's the reality of your stress. So what does your stress look like? You know what my problem is? My life isn't stressful you know however everybody else's life is stressful and i take on their stress you know i want to solve everybody's problem you know and it's you know my mom always tells me i'm probably like the most

non-judgmental person you'll like ever meet you know i will stick up for anybody you know if someone cheated on you there's an excuse for why he cheated but there's also an excuse for why you don't need to be with him but you know it's like i see both sides of the story not saying that i promote cheating it's just this example came to my head because it was a situation recently but you know i'm one of those people that like I realized in life people are going to be who they are, you know. So it's kind of like about accepting. And if I accept myself, then I kind of got to accept everybody else for who they say they are at that time. If that makes sense, because I can't make you want to change. That's true. You know, so until you decide for yourself that you want to change, I can't determine who you are or tell you what you need to fix because you're not going to see it.

So because of that, I kind of accept everybody, which people always tell me is a bad thing. I don't know. I think it's just because I'm coming to learn how to accept myself. So with that, because that was me, I was taking on everybody's stuff and I was trying to fix everybody because I worked in case management from mental health, from STDs and HIV, from working in a group home, from working with foster kids. The list goes on and on. And I wanted to fix everybody. I wanted to make everybody happy and everything better. And it took a supervisor to tell me, you can't fix somebody that don't want to fix themselves. And I was like, dang, that's powerful. And I had to stop because I had to really start to sit back and pay attention to certain things that I would offer. And when it came to them doing it for themselves, they didn't want to do it.

But if I was doing it for them, they were all for it. So I'm like, no. And then you become like a crutch. Yeah. And I think that's my biggest thing. I'm a crutch that knows I'm a crutch. You know?

And it's like, that's a habit that I have to break. But it's, you know, I feel bad leaving people leaving people it's like I don't want to leave them you know it's funny it's their problem leave them with their problems but when they come and they decide to bring it on me it then becomes my problem no it's not your problem because the thing of it is it's okay when people come to you and they vent to you or they need somebody to talk to because at that point you're offering support. But when they come to you and they're like, oh, I need you to fix this or, oh, I need you to do this or, oh, they're expecting you to respond a certain way or to do something. Then that's when you need to back up and say, no, we can sit down and discuss ways that we can work on this for you or what you need to change or what, you know, moving forward,

what would you do differently? Because when you hit on with that, they're like, oh, okay, you're right. I need to stand up for myself and be my own person. And see, that's my problem is that I never let people ask me for things. I always have a solution. You know, I ran out of gas. It's okay. I'm going to get some to you. You know, my phone about to be cut off.

No, it's not. I paid it. You know, I'm like one of those people like you know, you're you're beyond a crutch. You the whole freaking enchilada in the apartment and everything because they know i can come to you because you're gonna fix it so then you have to look at when you need to go to them what does that look like all right and that's my thing i guess i tried not to go to people but you know and the thing of it is we still need You need people because that used to be me It took a bishop When I moved here

I didn't have translation I loved the church And he was like I will come pick you up And I'm like no no it's okay I'll figure it out And he's like You have to allow people To give to you In order for them to receive blessings it's like dang

right i tell people that all the time though i do tell people all right because you know a lot of times people be like no i don't want it and i'm like hello you're not gonna stop my blessing you better take this but you're right i do it a little too much i do do it a little too much. I do do it a little too much. And I have a great support system. Like I said, I'm not and I'm still kind of when it comes to people that I allow in my personal private circle, my bubble. Right. But I have my support team where I go to them when stuff is going on because I used to try to fix everything myself I would do it because I didn't trust people I wouldn't allow them to do it right and I think that's kind of like another big issue I'm having now I have a really good support system if I allowed them to be a support system so my issue is that I went on my little discovery journey with cancer. You know, when I got cancer, I realized,

why do I lie to people? It's stupid. Who needs to lie? You know, and then it was a lot of, why do people count? Like, I have to count on myself to get through this cancer. You know, and a lot of it I did by myself. And it's always like been an issue with me and my mom because she's like, you know, for a long time,

they didn't even know I had cancer. You know know it was kind of like i went through chemo and bone marrow transplants and you know i didn't even allow my brothers to go get tested to donate like i went on a donate list because i didn't want to i didn't want to bother anybody for bone marrow and now covid made it okay for me to be um anti-social covid made it okay for me to be antisocial. COVID made it okay for me to be in the house by myself. And now it's like I have friends, but I can go weeks without speaking to people. I work in transportation, so it's like I deal with truck drivers who are on the road all the time. So I never have to see them. We can shoot each other a text and it's fine.

So now I'm becoming like I don't know Too much of a loner if that's possible It is possible Because I had to look at my own self Now I'm not training clients In their homes or at the gym Or in person We're doing virtual

And I'm like I'm kind of becoming very anti-social so it's kind of horrible a little bit um me and two of my ex-co-workers and close friends sisters every month we do something together outside of that i'm okay with being here and sleeping or whatever because that's the side effect of covid is your fatigue all the time and all you want to do is sleep so i'm okay with taking naps waking up taking naps um i occasionally talk on the phone i have a small group now that i talk on the phone with mostly i text and I'm like right I need to get myself back to the point of socializing I'm doing a book signing in April in Atlanta and you

know you gotta engage with people so I'm like you know I can turn it on, but the thing of it is, I shouldn't have to turn it on. It should always be on. Right, right. And I guess that's my problem. And it's not that I have to turn it on because I feel like it's always on. I just never put myself in situations to use it, if that makes sense. I know I don't want to be around people. And then when covid happened because

i went through such craziness with cancer i knew i did not want to get covid and if i had it i do not know but every test i have ever taken has come back negative thank you higher power you know because i feel like here i am now with pneumonia you know and it's like could i afford to get covid so i knew that i couldn't and then when my father passed away from it it made me like worse you know and it's like now it's just kind of like i'm so like i moved 10 hours away from everybody i knew for a job so i'm in this city by myself and i'm okay with it you know and it's like we're on a podcast and we're talking it may seem like I'm social and it's because I am because once again I'm always on however you know after

this one I think my next interview was like next Wednesday and that's the thing um because I have a lot of people that say to me you're very social and I'm like I am because to me, I used to not be social at all. I was not a social person. And for, you know, I think being in acting and modeling and stuff like that, you engage with a lot of people. And it's kind of like you turn on because you're not being rude to people. And you're talking. Because I remember when I first moved to the D.C. area. People would come up to me. And they would just start telling me their lifelong story. And I'm like.

I didn't ask you that. Okay. So. It was kind of like. It's something about you. That people can open up to so I would never you know be rude and say

okay why you telling me this I don't care why you you know it was always I would listen to him because apparently you know I look at it now is everybody doesn't have someone to talk to maybe that person went home and they lived alone or they live with somebody that they didn't talk to.

Right. And see, that's kind of like it is with me, too. So the friends I do have, I had my whole life. And they always tell me that I attract crazy. So, like, every time we go out, the craziest person that is in the place is somehow gonna find their way to you and talk to you and i'm like i don't it's not like i hold up a sign that says you know but me i have like a different because to me it's like i you know i let people know i don't need to know this i mean if you want to tell me i'll listen however i don't need to know you know it's like i don't need to know

it but now i'm trying to change that because we're trying to bring light to mental illness and light to mental health. And, you know, I feel like, you know, I need to write my very own book. Yes, yes, definitely. And I mean, it's very therapeutic because, you know, I was able to release it and I'm not holding on to it. I hope my cousin gets some help or somebody reports to him and he gets locked up either or or a combination of both

honestly didn't it like it happen to his daughters or didn't he talk to his daughter and nothing came out of that either he just did not we never saw her again you know my sister told his then ex well his then i think they were divorced his then um ex well his ex-wife and we never saw that little girl again

oh wow well hopefully she's out there living in her power yeah so i hope she's good she found also help um because you know that's right it's tough and like you said i mean there has to be a karmic energy that will eventually and and not that i say that wishing bad on anybody once again because i'm one of those people however you got to believe that you know life is about a balance and somehow he needs to find his balance or, or face the consequences of the injustice. I haven't seen him in years, but I heard he has, um, schizophrenia and you know, hell that's, that's your own mental jail. So I've worked with clients with it um but whatever now i guess going back into a little bit of your career you said you worked actually with uh std and hiv patients how long did you do that i well i worked with them also in mental health um but in 2018 i worked with the health department and I was called a disease control specialist.

So I majority work with women, but I did have male clients and just hearing their stories of, you know, that trusting factor of their partner who exposed them. Right, right. And what do you think of the like advancement and just medical and i guess that's the reason why i brought it up because i feel like nowadays people are allowed to be so much healthier than they were 10 years ago with with the disease i think the conversation still should be had because it's funny me and someone was just talking about this the other day because they have so many new medicines out that can make someone that have HIV undetectable. I think it's a conversation to be had because if you forget a dose and it shows back up, it's a conversation to be had.

Don't just think. And I've had clients that's like, like well i don't have it no more no you still have it you're just undetectable because you're taking your medicine and your numbers are low right and that's the reason why i brought it up when you said it made me think about i have a co-worker now and um his partner is hiv positive and he's like oh he takes a pill a day and it's just so like nonchalant about it and then you know it's me a person who had health problems my whole life and you know now i've been in remission from cancer for three years so it's like kind of getting back together and it's like how could you play you know never do i feel like a person who

has hiv or aids needs to be single. There's love for everybody. Right. So I think. But there's a safe way to do that. And I guess, and that's what I'm trying to say. It's like, how do you risk, you know, the one pill a day thing? Because like you said, what if someone misses a dose? And it's also health risk with it because, you know, it can affect your kidneys and livers.

Because it actually tells you that you need to come in every week or every month to be tested so they can test your kidneys and liver functions to see if you're still good but um i think it's conversations to be had i think that's you know people that know you've had because we will call people that name will come up and they're like well you keep calling me but you ain't saying who naming me or whatever dude if your name has been on the list for years you know you got hiv tell that person give them the option to want to have sex with you or not don't just take their freedom and their life away because people don't know they have hiv until they have pneumonia i had one lady she had her husband gave her aides he was long gone and dead she had full-blown aides and she didn't know because she didn't know because she ended up in the hospital with pneumonia

right so so what what is your advice or what is your pep talk to a person who is kind of dealing with that as far as, you know, my lover now gave me this disease that I'm going to have forever. How do I move on? So I would always when I call somebody who were who was diagnosed with HIV or syphilis, because syphilis is bad people. So I'm telling you it's, it's, it's, yeah. So I would tell them to get therapy because the thing of the first thing they say is,

well, I'm okay. You know, I'll just pray about it. God is good. Yes. But when you start sitting in those thoughts of this person deceived me, this person gave me this,

this person knew it and they didn't tell me you start getting caught in your head i would always refer them to i would give them a place they can go for a group or individual so i would say definitely get help because that's not something that anybody can deal with alone right and that is very very good advice get help people i tell you i go twice a week it's really really crazy dr chin shout out she's a chinese american and i know i'm horrible for saying this maybe i shouldn't say it but i tell her i love talking to her because i feel like i'm getting my nails done because she has an accent so it's like it I love talking to her because I feel like I'm getting my nails done because she has an accent. So it's like it's easy to talk to her because I feel like I'm in for a mani pedi, you know.

And it's so and I guess I say that to say like there are options. There are a lot of therapists out there that people can talk to and find someone that works for you. And please find somebody that works for you. Don't think just because you went somewhere and even with doctors if you don't like your doctor find somebody else right right and i often tell people that i feel like find somebody of your nationality because who better to understand your body than someone who is like you you know and and to me it goes beyond just medical science it's upbringing you know there's more chances that we were raised the same way or raised with

the same beliefs and you know you know that you know puerto ricans always got that fedening for every every single festivity you eat some fedening so that's why you got high blood pressure because you know so like we're both saying find somebody that kind of appeals to you so now let's talk about the june singleton llc and the services that you offer and and what we can what we can get out of you even though i got like a whole therapy session i'm gonna go ahead and cash out for you later girl because uh but for the public out there the june singleton llc um is a large variety of a lot so all right you are a renaissance woman women busy career women and retiree women in the areas of grief injury recovery um i had a knee injury and i know the struggle of i learned the struggle of trying to recover from that and get back into the gym or try to become

healthier um it's a struggle because you know you're still in pain. You end up gaining weight. I went from 120 and then I ended up 155. And then it went up to 193, which was my highest weight. And just trying to figure out what was going on because it went the opposite. Because when I was younger, I was anorexic. I would eat a small meal, one small meal. I would try to sleep all day so I wouldn't have to eat. Or some days, I didn't eat at all. If I didn't have money, I wouldn't eat.

So just working with them, figuring out what's going on, why they're gaining weight, why they're not being successful. Also, I work with girls as well. Also in sports and also in fitness, I've had girl clients that I've worked with trying to get healthier. Some that dealt with grief of losing their dad at such a young age or their mom at a young age or something um podcast the podcast provides education advocacy awareness um it's not just in fitness health and wellness it's just in a large amount of everything we talk about finances and life you know because money affects us all

you know I had somebody talk about patient advocacy of speaking up for yourself as I said I'm a speaker so I speak on a large amount of things that is not talked about in our community or not talked about enough

um so those are some of the areas that legume singleton llc soon i will have videos of working out different exercises things like that um some apparel down i know you guys did like a you did like a virtual event earlier this year yeah I have one in January I actually have one coming up if you're available would love for you to be a part of it it is next month for sexual assault awareness month um you know just bring an awareness to it and not because it's frowned upon in our communities so you know brown black communities it's not talked about and if it is it's always your point at the finger at the victim so that will be april 2nd it'll be a facebook live event and just you know

that's you know I do events like I said I have a book signing in Atlanta on the 9th with Black Authors Matter so just you know definitely

different things you know bringing events I mean I'm not sure when my next one after the April one will be. Sometimes, you know, I'll be sleeping. The Lord will be like, oh, I want you to get up. Get up. Get up. It's so funny. But I have the link to the book on our website.

So it's fuckingfeelings.com. Go to our event page and you have a little profile we created for you under there so it is a link to buy the book I got mine's off Amazon just because Amazon is so easy and a whole plethora of other places

but um and it's releasing my trauma the root of self sabotage alright and then um LeJune Singletary no sorry It's Release and My Trauma. Release and My Trauma. The Root of Self-Sabotage. All right. And then LeJune Singletary. No, sorry. LeJuneSingleton.com, correct?

Yes, LeJuneSingleton.com. All right. And I'll definitely, so we'll get it up. You'll see it at the bottom of the screen, but we'll definitely get it up. I appreciate you. I hope I didn't go too off a little bit everywhere. It was definitely good. You know, I hope I helped you as well as, you know, other people as well. Because, you know, that's my platform is to bring awareness and educate and help people out.

It's not just, you know, for women. It's also for men. Because I used to work, I interned for Men's Health. And I would get people. We were at the Ronald Reagan building in D.C. doing a health event. And one woman stopped by and was like, oh, that's not for us.

It is for you. Let me tell you why it's for you. It's for everybody. You got a husband. You got a son. You got a father. You got a brother. You got a cousin.

You got an uncle. You got male friends. The list goes on and on and on it's for you exactly so when something happens to you to them that affects you definitely definitely okay so yes you definitely helped me i told you i got a free therapy session i'm gonna go ahead and let my therapist know tomorrow i don't need you this week i talked to LeJune. Definitely, if it's okay with you,

we'd like to keep in touch and see where kind of you're going. Like I said, I would love you. If you could be a part of the event, if you're available on April 2nd, it is from 11.30 to I think 1 or 1.30 p.m. It's my event. I can make it as long as I want to because I'm the piece of the day. Right, right long as I want to because I'm the facility I was watching

your last event the one that you had in January and you were like we know we went over but this and we know we went over but this and I said I like that I like that let's keep it going I think it would be good for people to hear from a male because men don't

talk about their experience of being sexually assaulted right and it's always that embarrassment or they're ashamed or they don't think i'm this or they don't think i'm that right and men are not supposed to go through that or men can't be molested or men can't be raped you know i've heard it all for years and years and years and it was like i know what i went went through. I know what I felt. I know the shame that came with it. You can't tell me those things. We'll definitely be in contact.

You have my information. I have yours. Anything you want to say to our listeners before we go? I thank you for the opportunity. This is for you. Be good to yourself. Love yourself and appreciate yourself you know give yourself some grace and some mercy um that's something that we don't do and i think

that is necessary and don't be hard on yourself when all the checks are not on that list it's okay give yourself some grace and mercy for the checks that you did make. And if you didn't make any, that's okay. That was your mental health day. So it's okay. Right, right. Definitely. And like you said, you're not flawed. You're just under construction.

All right, guys. Again, give yourself grace because we look at as, you know, society tells us tells us that oh you have to do things like this you don't you do things at your pace and your way and that's okay so you're i know i see i use flawed all the time that's like a word in my vocabulary but now it's like okay i scratched through it just in this hour we spent together, I scratched through the word flawed, and it's under construction. You're renovating. Right.

You're about to build this huge mansion. That's okay. Right. I like that. I like that. Mansion me. All right, LeJune, thank you so much for your time. And guys, check out the website.

All her information is on our event page. And we will post. Anytime you have an event, I will advertise it. I really enjoyed this. Thank you so much.