These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Episode 204: Interview W/ Dayna Pereira - That Trophy Wife Life Podcast

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Send us a Text Message.Join us as we get our laugh on.... Dayna Pereira comes through and show us that its okay to be a little f***ed up! The host of That Trophy Wife Life Podcast, co-host of The Dirty Little Secrets Club as well as the creator of The Entertainers Network, teaches us that life is messy, why not laugh about it, as long as you learn and grow. We discuss all the things she has going on, all of the things she has conquered, and all the ways she is surviving.... fiercely we may ad...

Advocate for those who need support and make a difference in your community. Earn a Bachelor of Social Work from Grand Canyon University. GCU is a premier private Christian university offering online social work programs with affordable tuition and personalized support. In addition, you can earn your Master of Social Work by completing the Bachelor of Social Work plus just one additional year instead of two. Find your purpose. Visit gcu.edu slash social work to learn more.

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And what do you think? I think it's time to tell people to choose wisely. Choose Wendy's Sweet and Crispy Homestyle French Toast Sticks. That's still not an answer. At participating U.S. Wendy's during breakfast hours. You don't have to be positive all the time. It's perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, and anxious.

Having feelings doesn't make you a negative person. It doesn't even make you weak. It makes you human. And we are here to talk through it all. We welcome you to These Fucking Feelings Podcast. A safe space for all who needs it. Grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now.

What's up, guys? Welcome to these fucking feelings podcast. I am Christian. And I am B. Moore. And I am also here to introduce Dana Pereira. Nailed it. Crushed it.

I had to make sure. I was like, God, please. Oh, please let me say this right. And you know what? And I said, too, I said, oh, I hate to say this, but you have to introduce her because I'm dyslexic and I'm going to mess that up. It's really funny because I do the same thing. Right.

And I'm like oh god oh god okay wait put the put the right okay right there all right yeah now we're really sorry guys because Dana's in her season four of her podcast right and it's that trophy wife life yeah it's a comedy and self-improvement podcast it is yeah we're laughing our way through those life's imperfections because i mean let's face it we're all a little fucked up right how they do the church the little the little way i don't got no rhythm but i'm gonna do it it's really true but i want to know about the name. So the name came about because I was pretty much making fun of myself all the time. And it actually came about on Twitter first.

So I started doing these little videos where looking at the wrinkles on my fucking face in the mirror. Or looking at finding a bottle under the couch that has been there for eight months. And I open it up and know, like looking at, you know, finding a bottle under the couch that has been there for eight months. And I like open it up and I'm like, well, that's cheese, you know, like stuff like that. And so I would end them with, you know, well, just live in that trophy wife life. And then it kind of spun out from there. But the funny thing is people didn't get the joke, right? Like they were like, oh, you think you're a trophy wife.

And I'm like, yeah, clearly you didn't see anything that I said. You didn't look at anything. You didn't. I'm very clearly joking. Unless you're a person that looked at me once and immediately judged. Right. Definitely. Right. Right. And it's funny because I was watching a video that looked at me once and immediately judged. Right. Definitely. Right.

Right. Right. And it's funny because I was watching a video that you did with your husband and he was talking about how like none of the school moms like you because of your looks. Yeah. You know, it's, it's very interesting. Like even men will step away from me. Like they don't want to be caught talking to me too long

my son's baseball coach i honestly go through the same thing yeah yeah i go through the same men don't want to be caught talking to me for too long either yeah so my son's baseball coach we were like sitting down to have a meeting, right? We were on a fucking bench, like at the, like the bleachers. I sat down and he sat down on the grass like six feet away. And I was like, are you, get up and sit on the bench. You know, like I was so irritated because again again, people I had my kids very young. I was 23 and 24 when my oldest two were born.

So, you know, for their age, I was a young mom. And that was something that I've always had to deal with because, you know, typically people waited a little longer than i did you know to have kids you know i was just thinking i said oh my god so is this gonna go into my next question and you gotta forgive me because my brain works really really weird my brain works really really weird so i might ask you a question that you we kind of talked about but i skipped it because i thought of another question yeah yeah no worries go for it scatterbrained but i was gonna say something horrible because you said you had your kids young at 23 24 and i'm like young all the people i know i didn't really think that was young

i wouldn't okay so yes i would i wouldn't exactly say 14 but i would say like 19 20 yeah yeah I was really I was 20 yeah I was 27 when I had my first so yeah she's about to be 42 just put that out there yeah next year I'll be 40 thanks for that Christian for the reminder no problem hey 40 is. You know what's great about 40? Is that you fucking like yourself now. It's a whole big deal. Or you're getting there. It's a different world than in my 20s or in my early 30s. I actually have grown into a person that I really fucking like. And I make no apologies for anything anymore.

I'm like, yo, I don't want to come to your kid's birthday party because I'm fucking tired so I'll send a present but I'm not coming you know you know what I went through I turned 40 in January actually so we're like the 40 club but um I went through the phase where it's like I didn't want to talk to anybody that I knew was going to be negative. Yes. If you want to complain, like I avoided talking to like one of my best friends because I knew she's going to be mad at me. But I knew that she was going to talk about her boyfriend. And it's like, get rid of his ass already.

Like, we too old for this. Right. So I've been ducking her now. And I thought about it today. And I was like, yo, I haven't talked to her in two weeks and I mean I've 30 years of friendship yeah it's been 30 years of friendship and it's just at the point where it's like oh I need you to move on and it's like that with anybody it's like as soon as I hit 40 so we can all be happy right it's like I switched it off I don't have if I don't how am I stressed and I got a stress-free life? Well, you know, I did the exact same thing.

I have a girlfriend that I've been friends with forever. We lost touch for quite a while because she was going through some bullshit that I finally put my foot down and refused to stand by and watch. And then after she got rid of that bullshit, I started to allow her to kind of tiptoe back into my life. But something that I've recognized is it's very hard to talk to her because I want to vibrate up here. And I've noticed a lot that whenever I speak with her, I end up down here. And it's really hard. Like, I just, I have a hard time separating myself from that. And so with her, she does a lot of like, well, I mean, you and I came from the same place

and look at you and then look at me and I'm doing this and I'm so bad and my life sucks and then look at you. And I'm like, yeah, because I made fucking choices, bro. You can do the same thing so I just kind of I really had to limit my time with her like I called her yesterday but I

knew that I had 10 minutes to be on the phone so the first thing I said when I got on was hey I have somewhere to be in 10 minutes but we can catch up real quick like I have to take the initiative to. I'm writing down notes. Yes.

No, and create that and create that boundary. That way, you know, listen, this is all the time that I want to spend on this conversation. I'm not getting caught up in too much else. Yeah.

You got to have your escape plan. Yes. Conversations for all. And that's my problem. I don't have a. Well, I don't like to lie. So it was like, I can't invent an escape plan.

So because I can't do that. Well, just call her when you're on the way to the doctor or you're pulling up to the grocery store or whatever. Be like, oh, I just wanted to give a quick shout. Hey, how you doing? How are things? Everything's cool. Great. Yo, I need eggs.

I, you know, like. Right, right. I'll talk to you later. So I'm about to put this gas in the car real quick. And yeah, exactly. That's pretty funny. So look, I realize I never got around to ask you the question. So you do comedy.

I do. And I was thinking about how bad my joke is probably to some people. Well, it really wasn't a joke. It was true. I know a lot of people had babies at 14. But people could be like, oh, that was classless a little bit. What do you think about this cancer culture that's going on right now? You know, it's hard because I do think that there's a lot of things that should be fucking

canceled. However, I think with cancel culture, we aren't allowing people to learn and grow. And I think that that is a bigger problem. Like, I think it's okay to call people out when like what they're doing or saying is no longer aligned with how our future should be. But I think that we should, instead of being like, you're a terrible person and you should never be allowed to be on TV again or on the radio again or on this again or come to my house again or whatever, I think that we should be adapting more of a learning technique, I guess, and teaching or explaining. Yeah. Because... And have compassion for people because, you know, people go through things at certain times in their life and this is, you know, what they might have said or did

or felt in that particular part of their life. And now that they're older and time has gone and circumstances have changed that they're different, you know, they may not always feel that way and then it's like,

eh, you out the door. Fuck what you got to say. Yeah. And, you know, like as you learn and grow, you know, giving people, like I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. Nobody is. And I don't believe the same things that I believed 10 years ago.

Definitely. So if somebody came to me and said, you're a hypocrite because you don't have the same stance on this that you had a decade ago, I'm like, well, you know, I've learned and grown since then. And I had the opportunity to change my mind. I am allowed to change my mind with new information, you know? Right. And that's what it is. I mean, I feel like people just don't know any better either.

You know, it's like if I'm never taught, if I never experienced this situation, or if my whole life it was funny because my grandparents joked about this and things were different at that time. You know, it's like if I don't know any better, it's like you said, let me learn that lesson. Now, if I continue to do it, maybe I have an issue. Then there's a problem for sure. But if I just smack you one time on the Oscars, I'm good. It was just one time. You know, and so it's, I come from a place where I don't get easily offended.

And because of the way that I grew up, you know, like my friends were always like fake humping each other and smacking each other on the ass and, you know, doing it. And so that was like kind of the way that I learned to show love to people and you know so sometimes uh like I realized the other day one of my guy friends in improv um I had been gone for two weeks and I came back and he walked in and he was like Dana and then he stopped and he went can I give you a hug and I, yeah, you son of a bitch, get in here. You know? But people are stopping to ask now. Like, is this okay? Are you comfortable with this interaction?

I'm still learning that. Honestly, people should have been fucking asking those questions a long time ago. Like, I don't always just like for somebody to roll up on me from the street and I don't know where the fuck you've been and then you all up in my space and I'm like, okay, but wait. Yes. Yeah. you being Indian, you all up in my space. And I'm like, okay, but wait. Yes. Yeah, and so that's, and it's funny because that's something that I still learn. I, there's a kid in my improv class,

I call him a kid because he's 23. And he's like that. He doesn't like people up in his space. And I just like jumped on him and hugged him one day. And then I was like, oh like oh yeah you don't like that sorry I don't know but I just thought of a great invention we didn't invent some kind of holograph that goes over people that tells their likes and dislikes so when you walk up to them you already know okay I'm gonna give you a high five even now shaking hands is like inappropriate

because of COVID so covid has shaped it's changed to shaking hands so it's like elbow bumps now right yeah and it's like how can you do that firm how can i tell what kind of person you are from an elbow bump right and so dana it's funny that you say that because i'm that i was that no i am i am that person at work right where everybody knows like you know they get kind of excited about things and want to hug and shit and they'd be like wait can I can I hug you yeah it's permission but but these people know that like I don't like for you to be in my shit so you know yeah see I'm the opposite everybody

just hugs me and they want you know if they need a hug they come to me yeah I'm that person too I'm just I'm a hugger I don't know why you know maybe I didn't get enough of them as a kid or something but I'm like give me all the hugs even though we all have that one person that we hug as a side eye people yeah see I have certain people that I a side eye. See, I have certain people that I'm okay with hugging. And then I have, you know, some people, even at work, I'll instantly go to them and be like, hey,

and give them a hug and shit. But then there's others that I'm like, and then they be like, I didn't get that kind of greeting. I'm sorry, I don't fuck with you like that. Dragon breath, Dan, you stay all the way over there, okay? But see, now, with her saying that,

I'm a little offended because I'm the person that she always forgets to hug. You know what I'm saying? Like, we'll see each other and then an hour later, she'll be like, I didn't get a hug.

But that just means that we're so comfortable with being in each other's spaces that we don't have to hug instantly. Oh, is that what they mean? That's what it means now. Right. That's what it means now.

Right. So what made you get into the self-improvement aspect of the podcast and wanting to put that out there? Yeah, so I've been on a quest for self-improvement for a decade now. I was a very miserable person, if I'm being honest. I was angry. I was bitter. I drank too much. I judged people so fucking harshly.

I did all of these things, and they never made me feel good. I always felt real shitty afterwards. And I would lose my temper. Oh, my God, I was the worst. I grew up in a house where love was dramatic. My parents, my mom and my stepdad, when they got into fights, it was like they threw shit at each other. They called each other names. They went for the jugular.

It was like, how can I be the person that hurts you the most because you upset me? And that's what I grew up watching. So as a kid and you grow up with that, then you have your first boyfriend and your second boyfriend and your third boyfriend and you're very insecure. And that's how I fought. I would be like, you upset me. If you upset me emotionally, I wanted to like show it physically. And I didn't like beat people or anything, but I would throw things and I never like I knew it wasn't okay but I never really understood how not okay it was and that that made me abusive and it took I don't even know what happened I think I threw a bottle of wine against the wall. And I had this.

It was a full bottle of wine. I had an angry reaction to my now husband. Okay. I threw this bottle of wine against the wall and it shattered everywhere and the wine just stained

the entire wall going down the hallway. And wine doesn't come out of walls, you know? Wine doesn't come out of anything. Yeah. You just gotta paint over that bitch. So my son was sleeping at the time and he came out of the bedroom

and saw this like wine stained wall and was like, what happened? And I'm like, oh, I get to tell my kid that I lost my temper and threw a bottle of wine against the wall? And then it was a constant reminder because we ended up remodeling our house, but it was a constant reminder that I did that.

Yep. Because it was on the wall for like six fucking months. And that felt awful, you know? And so a lot of self-help books, therapy. My husband was also a person that needed to go through therapy and self-help and stuff like that. And so we both kind of looked at each other one day and said like, are we done?

This feels real bad. Like, are we ready to move on from this? And we just decided then, like, okay, it's time to put in the work. And we started about 10 years ago. And I couldn't be more proud of the person that I have become, of the person that he has become, of our relationship together. We no longer throw things at each other. Now, if I look at him and I say,

you are making me so angry, I need space. He's like, yep, gone. You know, like, here is your space. You know, and he needs it too. He'll tell me, I need to process this because I will process in a couple of hours. He takes a solid 24 hours to process something. Oh, wow.

He'll be like, I hate it when he needs to sleep on something because I want to hash it out right now. Right, you want to get out your system. Then he's like, he needs to sleep on it so i have to allow him to have his process just like he has to allow me if we want to be in a relationship together successfully we need to allow each other to process things and go through things the way that our brain requires us to right and you know it's a big lesson that i've learned over time that's why I say I love being 40 now because fuck 30 I was a bitch at 30 you know and I'm just thinking that what a tough conversation that had to be for you guys to have like yeah we have a lot of tough conversations

I mean over the span of we've been together 12 now. But one thing that I can say about my husband is, and for myself, when we come to each other and say, I have a problem with this, my husband is always like, how do we fix it? What do I do? He is always open to hearing my reasons why something might bother me. He's always open to, okay, how can I, you know, make changes to this so that it doesn't happen again in the future. But I'm also not ridiculous with anything that I, if I'm upset about something, like it's something that is, it's a good reason that I'm upset. I'm very good at letting things go now. I had a conversation with my husband the other day. I'm a big gesture kind of person.

Like that's my love language. I like big gestures. My husband is not a big gesture kind of dude. And it was my 40th birthday. And before my 40th birthday, I said to him like, hey, I know that you're not a big gesture kind of person but I need a big gesture for my 40th birthday like I want something that is going to make me feel really fucking special like that's what I want and uh I didn't get one. I didn't get any. Like, he took me on a very nice vacation.

But I planned that vacation. I did the plane tickets. I got the Airbnb. I did the reservations. I did all of the stuff that, you know, all of the activities that our family did. I planned that vacation. So I was expecting something extra from him and I

didn't get it and I was a little bummed out about it. I was hopeful a little bit. I was hopeful because you told him. I told him very specifically. He didn't understand what that meant though. What does that mean

exactly? Because you know men are stupid like that. Sometimes they don't understand what that meant, though. What does that mean exactly? Because, you know, men are stupid like that. Sometimes they don't understand. And, yeah, it's like, oh, well, yeah, we can go on vacation. But then I have to plan out all the little details and shit. It's like I didn't want to have to do all that. Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we get home from the vacation.

And I tell him, like, you know, it was like a few days after we got home and I was like honey I'm a little bummed you know like I really wanted to see like a big I mean you could have upgraded me to first class or you know like told the fucking luau people it was my birthday like anything you know and those things are kind of simple so it's like exactly and i said and you did nothing you know and i was i was kind of bummed out about that and he goes he goes honey i panicked because you're an easy person to disappoint and i was like so you did nothing like you could have tried that was something it's, so he met your expectations? Like, I don't get it.

Yeah. And, you know, and he was like, all right, man. Like, I really shit the bed on that one. And I was like, yeah, he did. Definitely. I told him, the month's not over. You know, like, you can still do something. There's still time to salvage this.

So we'll see. I'll keep you guys posted. Yeah, definitely. Definitely keep us posted. As a matter of fact, I'm going to make sure I check in. The month from today. Did he do something special? And if he don't, we're going to come back and talk about it.

Right. Look, so speaking of that, Christian, I would like a big gesture for my 40th birthday. You know what? Okay, so Dana, you're going to fight, right? Look, because you know I ain't got nobody else. You all I got. Her birthday is next month.

Less than 30 days away. You see what you did to me? Yeah, yeah. Hey, you just heard. It doesn't take much. It's just a gesture. Well, I'm going to upgrade you to first class. Yeah.

But you got to plan the trip. But I'm going to upgrade you. We just talked about that. We just talked about that. I don't want to blame you. And I'm going to tell the people on Applebee's that it's your birthday. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Not Applebee's. Happy birthday. Bigger. Bigger gesture. Bigger gesture. But can that be Olive Garden or Red Lobster? I mean, shit. not Applebee's happy birthday bigger bigger gesture but can that be Olive Garden or Red Lobster I mean shit yeah I mean come on

hold up though hold up because they don't single those places no more they just bring you a cupcake we need to go a place

where they gonna be like yee haw okay mariachi band Mexican restaurant bam and Mexican is cheap I'll even pay for dinner Okay, mariachi band, Mexican restaurant. Bam. And Mexican is cheap.

I'll even pay for dinner. You're really digging yourself a hole here. Yeah, he ain't shit for real. I know. Well, okay. Which kind of goes into my next thing because I was just thinking about you and your husband and having these conversations and things like that. And I always go to, so one thing about this podcast we kind of talked about a little bit last episode

is that this year we decided to focus on mental health. So I'm taking all this free therapy and I'm putting it to work. Because I figured instead of paying that $80 copay to go see a therapist, we just start a podcast,

invite specialists on, people who things work for, and ask some questions. Then you learn and grow. Right, and I ain't got to pay the $8 copay. And if I do this right, I might make some money too. There you go. So, with that said,

I have, in my whole life, have never been in a real serious relationship. You know, and I have been in one now maybe the last six months but it's kind of long distance but it's getting to the point where now is like coming to an end and I'm thinking like can I live with somebody like I'm 40 years old can I sit down and have like a conversation with people about like I want a big gesture like I just want you to leave me alone I don't know what I'm gonna do but you know what I feel like there's so it's like uh being comfortable with who you are you know like if you're like I'm not the kind of person

that wants to live with somebody fuck the world that's. You're allowed to be that kind of a person. And you know, like for me, I am not the kind of person that wants to volunteer at my kid's school. Sorry, don't want to, don't want to deal with those parents. Don't want to fucking feel guilty about it. You know? And, and I have just come to terms. I am that person. I will not put myself in the situation that is going to make me feel bad. And I don't like other people's children that much. Me too! Oh my god.

I am the... I'm so bad at that. I'm nice to children. I have a story, but I'm scared to say it because I don't want her to be offended, but let me tell you. You never know who's watching. Yeah. I know. Because I think I just lost my best friend. Where does burning bridges everywhere today?

You know, like I honestly sometimes don't want to go to this person's house because I know her child is going to get on my nerves. Yeah. And I am like, fuck. God damn, what do I do? What do I do? Did you see me real quick i'm like whose house does she go to you're like going through your rolodex and your brain i'm like well because first of all because he know i don't go to nobody's house he know i ain't got no yeah he

know i don't fuck with people like that to go to the house she don't want nobody in her house but then she don't want to go to nobody's house either yeah yeah you know what I'm saying nope I want to have an out-of-house experience in my own house so I don't have to go nowhere yeah no I get it I get it I am the exact same way my husband and I looked at each other one day and we were like you know we really enjoy sitting on our fucking couch drinking wine not having to you know deal with people's bullshit my husband was talking about a trip to vegas he took and you know because i was invited on a girl's trip and i can't make it but i was like i'm not that bummed because i don't like dealing with all of those fucking personalities all of these people that take you know seven hours they can't decide

on a restaurant like where are we gonna go then we have to like make reservations for all these people no apple bees yeah exactly that's how that's how I felt because when so I took a like a seven-day trip to Dubai but it was like one of my long-term girlfriends that invited me but I knew it was gonna be a whole bunch of people there that I was like man I hate dealing with people because everybody has different personalities. You know, they treat, you know, they are outside. I was very worried. But luckily, it was kind of like an older crowd. Like me and her, I mean, we were almost 40.

We were the younger ones. So it was cool. It was smooth and it was easy. But God knows I was worried. I was very worried. Yeah. I went very worried. Yeah. I went on a girls' trip with some of my best, closest friends, and one girl out of the four,

was there four of us there, I think, was not drama. The other two, fucking drama. And I was like, oh my God. Like, I know you bitches. I see you all the time. And I couldn't even, I was like oh my god like i know you bitches i see you all the time and i couldn't even i was like fuck you guys me and this other girl were like okay bye like you you guys go ahead over here and cry into your fucking whiskey and we're gonna go over here and have some fun

exactly i will separate myself from the whole crowd if i need to like i ain't got a problem with that at all and it was crazy because you talk about girls trip. And I was thinking, like, I want to go on a girls trip one time just to witness. I feel like women would be, like, so much fun. And then it was like, as you finish your statement, it's like, erase that thought. It's drama. It's so much drama. You have to really, like, pick the people that you're surrounding yourself with, like, the energy that they give.

My two best friends are the most low-maintenance fucking relationships I have. You know? Exactly. Like, my girlfriend, Drew, she, I just saw her yesterday. I haven't seen her since October. And, you know, we text a couple of times, but she was, you know, across the country at one point. And she was here and she was there. And it was like, yo, see you when I see you.

We'll catch up when we catch up. I love her so much. The fact that she's so low maintenance makes her one of my best friends. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Those ones that, you know, are just kind of chill and go with the flow. Like, all right, some crazy shit might happen.

But, okay, we in this together. We can get through it. And then that's the end of it. And it's not a whole bunch of drama and shit like that. Those are the people I'd be gravitating to. Yes. When you can say everything without saying anything yeah yeah and there's no judgment she doesn't give a shit like i can tell her the worst part of me and she's like

shit me too you know like yeah that's what i like about her and i think that maybe that has a lot to do too with you like saying you're comfortable with who you are too so it's like it's not only who she is it's kind of who you are in a way too it's like you're comfortable enough to say that to her and she's comfortable enough to receive it yeah you know cause you know B-more and I kind of have those conversations all the time like I ain't no

shit I ain't nothing look I'm an asshole yeah I knew it but I just wanted to tell you. But as long as you own it. You know what, you ain't shit. You can't pretend like you're not what you are. Those are the people that you're like, okay, no, I got to stay away from you.

Because if you're trying to pretend like you're the best person on earth and you're so good and then you're an asshole those are the people you stay away from but the ones that are like yo listen sometimes i'm a dick you know you're like okay yeah i get that but it was funny because earlier when you were talking you was like i was such a bad person because i judged people and i did this and i was like dang i do all that now yeah like i must be fucked up for real well it depends on how you're judging them so if you are i was outwardly judging like two other people i was gossiping and judging you know and stuff like that and now i tell my husband i'm like you're the only person that i can like gossip with you know like he's my safety net of gossiping yeah you know what to me i feel like it's really not judgment it's just it's like an opinion it's just sometimes people don't know how

to take my opinion you know yeah because it's like everybody's concept of right or wrong is different so do you allow people to have their opinions too so like my co-host on the dirty little secrets club him and i do not see eye to eye on most things like they're but he'll say his part and i'll go i disagree this is why i disagree and he'll go yeah i don't really see it that way and we're like okay moving on and move on and why is she describing us exactly exactly i was like that's us because i'm quick yeah yeah and then and then b-boy is like i'm gonna play devil's advocate here that's my line say that i was about to say okay so devil's advocate I mean you know what I'm saying but you have to be able

to like to to see from different perspectives in different angles and that's how I think it's like well if this this probably could have happened and then that's what happened afterwards or this could have happened in that probably what happened afterwards you know what I'm saying I try to get people I it's funny when I try to get people the benefit of the doubt, he ain't trying to give the people the benefit of the doubt. And it's vice versa, usually. Yeah, that's good. You guys are like balancing each other out. Except for every now and then.

I was telling her, she has this longtime friend and he's kind of been a bad friend lately. And he commented on one of my pictures. And I saw it and I'm like, don't fucking like my picture. What the hell is wrong with you? Don't be liking my shit. Get off my page. Right. Because that's what I would have said.

That would have been my reaction. He would have told me. He would have said, oh, such and such liked my picture, and I would have said, the fuck he liking your picture for? And so it's like we just skipped that first part, went straight in. Because it's so funny because I had that moment that after I said it,

I thought about it and I was like, I don't have no issue with him. Yeah, yeah. I don't have no issue with him. But, you know, as soon as I saw his name, my first reaction, it's the fuck like my picture? Like, I'm about to block your ass. Yep, yep. Been there.

Okay. So now, but I kind of feel bad, though, because Dirty Little Secrets, I didn't even know about this. I feel like I didn't do my proper research. Oh, yeah. So I have another podcast. It's called the Dirty Little Secrets Club. And we have a website where people go to anonymously submit their dirty little secrets and then my co-host and I talk about them on the show and we get some I mean it's a little raunchy

over there sometimes you know like we get some okay pretty crazy shit I've been wondering so I've been okay I I put auditory connections together, if that makes sense. And I was hearing your voice because I was watching a few of the other, the Trophy Wife episodes. And I was just listening. I was like, her voice sounds like I've heard it before. How could I have heard this voice before? And it's just like, your voice sounded so familiar. And now that you say that, I remember seeing something somewhere, don't remember when, about A Dirty Little Secret. And I remember, now that it makes sense, I was like, okay, so I heard it there and then that's why I remember your voice.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't looked into it quite yet, but I remember either somebody told me about it or I saw it come through somewhere. And I was like, ooh, that would be a good one. I got some shit. It's pretty crazy. Yeah.

Look, I can't even imagine the kind of stuff that you guys get. Oh, it's insane. It is in. So I just put out a reel or a TikTok, whatever it was, I don't even know anymore, about because we're about we just recorded our 50th episode. And so thank you. Yeah. So I was like, just like putting out content. and the spoiler one that I put out there was a girl who was on OnlyFans but her little niche on OnlyFans is the dudes pick what she puts inside of her so like this one dude asked her to put a banana and strawberries up her vagina, take them out, make a smoothie with it, and then drink it.

Yes. So when people say they're going to drink your bath water, I guess they're really going to drink that bath water. Oh my God. Yes, yeah. And then she goes on and tells a couple more things, Oh, my God. Yes. Yeah. And then she goes on and tells a couple more things. But it was, yeah, I was like, what?

The crazy part is I'm over here thinking, like, what would my dirty little secret be? Like, what have I ever done that was so off the walls that I would, like, submit it? And I couldn't even phantom, likeantom anything close to what you just said. Well, you know, some of them are very mild. Like this one dude on one of our episodes, I think he accidentally ran over his mom's cat or something. And so he submitted that one. We have jalapeno girl.

That's pretty horrible, though, because, horrible though because people be attached to their pets. Hell yeah. Well, he didn't mean to. I guess the cat was sleeping behind a tire or something and he backed up over it. So, I mean, we go from very mild to the raunchiest, raunchiest, raunch you can fucking have like it's it's such a fun show for me because it's like i now see the world in such a different way there are so many kinks and fetishes out there and they like breed communities of people yes communities yes yeah i'm just gonna say god knew what he did when he made me the way he did because i would be

one of them damn people on only fans let me have a body like god didn't make me no woman because i would have been a stripper like you know like he didn't give me a six-pack because i would have been our only fans okay that's why he didn't give me no ass because i would have been on that but right no but seriously. Shaking and clapping. Yes, I would. Getting rich, and all I got to do is be naked, and all you're going to do is call me a whore, which I'm cool with because I'm rich, bitch.

Yeah. Hey, you know what? I know a girl who is, her name is whatever Amy. She's all over Twitter and Instagram and what's the other one? YouTube. She joined OnlyFans, had a conversation with her boyfriend about it. Like, yo, I was thinking about doing this thing. Is it cool if I do this?

He said yes. She made $20,000 in three days. Wow. What? What? I know this girl. I know this girl that puts whipped cream on her feet.

I've been thinking I'd be like. I know. She puts whipped cream on her feet and makes like $1,500 a week on OnlyFans. Yeah.

And she said, all I do is go in the bathtub and put whipped cream on my feet and like rub them together. And I'm like, I might go get me a manicure and shave this hair off.

Yeah. I don't have a pedicure, but yeah. I wear whatever. I'm about to I might go get me a manicure and shave this hair off. A pedicure, but yeah. I wear whatever. I'm about to make these toes cute. I will paint them red, pink, and blue. Shave off my little hair. Put some whipped cream on them. How do your toes look?

Are they funky or are they cute? Actually, I got two. No, he has very nice feet. He has very nice women, like six feet tall like, nice women, like, six feet tall, but wears a size, like, seven in women's, you know. I mean, it's, okay. And I have, like, the biggest, no, I do have, like, the biggest arch, and my mom is like, you make me sick.

Yeah. Because she has flat feet, and she's like, I can't wear high heels. And here you are with, like, an arch perfect. His arch is just ridiculous. That's awesome. I'm a little jealous myself. Like, it's so crazy. Okay. Like. That's awesome. I'm a little jealous myself. It's so crazy. Okay.

It's crazy. He could probably make, honestly, he could definitely make some money off his feet on OnlyFans. I can see it. Don't tell me that. And I feel like we should work that out. We should work that out. I really think we should too. And then you can invite me on your podcast because I became the number one foot model in the world.

And then report back and let me know how that goes. My husband has really nice feet too. And that was something because I don't like feet personally. Like I have nice feet, I will say. My ex used to try and put his feet up on me and I'd be like, get those funky ass toes away. Like I hated it. But my husband, whenever I met him, he put his feet up on me, and I, like, rubbed his feet. And I was like, I don't want to fucking gag.

This is awesome. You know? Like, I was like, you might be the one. Yeah, it does depend on the feet. Yeah. You know what it is? That's because you love him. Yeah.

Well, and he takes really good care of like he is always like you know clipping his nails and his toes and like he just he's a he's a manscaper and he does a good job of of taking care of himself he does well yeah he does well you know what's so funny i was just about to say something and it like completely slipped my mind scatter rain right and i was, damn, it would have been good to ask your opinion of it. But I'm going to get back to it. You'll remember in three minutes. In three minutes when we deepen another conversation. Squirrel.

Right. So we got the Trophy Wife Life podcast. And then we got Dirty Little Secrets. Anything else you got going on? I do. I have the Entertainers Network. See, that I did see. I did see. Okay.

I did a little bit of good research. It's a little new right now and I'm still, so I really wanted to help promote entertainers from all genres of entertainers and so I'm about to launch an acting challenge which I think is going to be really fun.

And then we pick winners and we send out awards and stuff like that. It's a lot of fun because these people get to whoever wins or they get to use it in their media kits. Like, hey, look, I won this acting challenge. I have podcast of the week. So every week I put up a new podcast of the week, you know, and so they get a certificate also that they get to put in their media kits up on their websites, use on their social media and stuff like that. We do an interview series because it's really important for entertainers when they're starting out to get their name out there. It's really important for them to be published. So, because

the more you show up in internet searches, you know, the better it is for you. So I allow these people an opportunity to do an interview series where they answer some of their questions, they give us some good advice, whatever it may be. And then I publish them and they get to put that link in their media kits. They get to link it on their IMDB page. They, you know they get to put that link in their media kits they get to link it on their imdb page they you know get to help kind of get their name out there a little bit more get them published a little bit more get them searchable while they're out there and you know hopefully eventually I have some people that end up with blue fucking check marks next to their name because an article that they wrote for me helped to get them in the media and, you know, solidify who they are and what they do to, you know, the powers that be at Twitter and Instagram and stuff like that.

The people who ain't got no jobs and sit home all day bored, just clicking away. Just making reels and TikToks. Right. We appreciate you. You know what I'm saying? Don't work no more. Yeah. I feel like COVID

messed it up for people too. Like, people got those unemployment checks and they just don't want to work now. I think COVID helped a lot of people

realize what they don't want to go back to. I think that that was a big thing because, you know, COVID and mental health was, we all recognized, oh shit we got

some work to do especially in covid when you had to sit with your fucking self you you didn't get a choice there was no place to run to to distract you and and stuff like that especially in the first few weeks of covid when you you know, we were all forced to be really, really cautious. And so, you know, you sit with yourself for long enough, you start to really, oh shit, okay, I got some work to do. And, you know, I think COVID allowed people to get really creative with, you know,

how they were going to go about making money or, you know, socialize and stuff like that. And I think that a lot of people just recognize that I don't want to go to a corporate job where all I am is a fucking number to them. And they don't give a shit if I die of COVID, you know, like, so I think that's big. Look, it's such a good point. I kind of feel like you checked me a little bit, though. I was like, hey, she was kind of, people realize what they don't want to go back to. I'm like, dang, that hurt a little bit. See, that was the judgment I was talking about.

Well, I think just because I've had some conversations with a lot of people about how they were at their corporate job and they're waking up and getting on their zoom calls or whatever and it's just really easy to recognize that it's some people don't give a shit about you and why are you gonna waste your time and energy on somebody that says oh employee number eight seven six three two four nine you know like You're like, who the fuck is that? No, I'm Dana Pereira, bitches. I am not employee number, you know? Right. But, you know, it was such a good point.

And, I mean, when you said it, it was like, it resonated with me. So it was like I saw the truth in it. And I was like, damn, that makes a good point. Yeah, well, you know, I'm sure also there are some people that got some checks and are like, you know, there's always exceptions. There's always people that are taking advantage of the system and stuff like that. I personally, like, because I, so I'll take you guys back to when I was a single mom. When I was a single mom, living in a two-bedroom apartment with my boys all smashed together, I had to use food stamps you know i had government assistance

i was fucking ashamed that i needed to use government assistance and for a long time i didn't i would eat ramen noodles and i would fucking you know like just suck it up because i was so embarrassed to go to the grocery store and use food stamps. And then at one point I was like, I need them. Like, what am I going to do? You know, I was laid off from my job for six months. I couldn't, my car was repossessed. I had to work with my landlord, like, beg her to please let me stay in the apartment that I was at.

And luckily she was understanding and kind and you know I was able to stay where I was but there was so much shame revolving around that and so now I get really upset when somebody is like oh all those people just living off the government living on food stamps and taking, you know, and I'm like, yeah, sure. I'm sure there are people that are doing that. Absolutely. Yeah. But for the mom out there that fucking needs it,

on her behalf, let me say, fuck you. You know, because there are people that need that. There are people that aren't taking advantage of the system. It is genuinely helping them. And I think that too many people in today's age, especially, and I'll probably get heat for this. There's a lot of organized religion out there that talks about, look at me. I'm so Christian. I'm so this, I'm so that. Oh, you want me to help somebody? Mm, no, you know? Right. I don't like that.

Like, walk the walk, talk the talk. Jesus, if you believe in religion, washed the fucking feet of the poor. And you're gonna tell me that, oh, these people are taking advantage of the system. Yeah, sure, there are. But what about the people that need it? People forget. And I, I don don't know i just like that it goes back to like you said that judgment and kind of

like that negative bad judgment it's like no wonder why jesus had to turn water into wine he couldn't deal with these people sober yeah exactly exactly you know he was like wine because i need me a drink he's like yo God can I get something stronger down here please right okay can we make this and they said it was the best too

so I know like one cup and you was right you know what I'm saying you can listen to everything uh huh I hear you they gotta pay taxes amen alright now I'm going to hell

we all are it's fine it's fine right right right it's fine and that's even if you believe in, right, right, right. It's fine. And that's even if you believe in the heaven and hell, right? Exactly. I can't go to it if I don't believe in it.

Yep, yep. If it ain't there. But you know what? Honestly, I mean, to say that, I actually have been having, like, an issue with, because I kind of grew up, and, you know, my mom's always like, oh, God, and I didn't mean to say it that negative, but I mean, you know, it's like, you know, ask God, or, you know, I have a brother, and he's Muslim, and he's always like uh you know ask God or you know I have a brother and he's Muslim and he's always like uh you know I've kind of been my life has transitioned a lot

too and I'm in a good place you know and it's like thank God for everything you have because the moment that you don't thank him for it he's gonna take it from you and it's like I'm kind of petrified a little bit like damn did I say thank you for this cornbread did I say thank you I okay so with that because again I'm not religious at all right I am I would say spiritual I live in gratitude I'm not you know giving Jesus and God all the credit for the shit that I've done like that is the work that I've done. Um, but I do live in gratitude that I had the capability and the drive and the motivation to make myself a better person. I live in gratitude for, you know, the work that I've done on being a mother. I'm really, really proud of the fact that my kids come to me and talk to me, and they don't, like, fear me.

I feared my mother whenever I was growing up, and I don't even think that's her fault. That was the way that she was raised, and that's, you know. Right, right. But the cycle broke with me, and I love that. I just, I have so much gratitude for everything. So I do think gratitude is important. But I don't give any credit to a lot of outside stuff. I am grateful that I have the capability of doing certain things, becoming a better person.

And again, I am spiritual. Right, definitely. But, you know, I think too many... And it's kind of weird. Yeah. Because I think that was my transition, too. I was on an airplane, and I hate flying. I hate flying.

Number one, I don't like to be in situations that I can't control. I can't control an airplane. And people say that you can't control anything. I can control my car. Yeah. You know? You can't control somebody else's car though I was gonna say that but I was like I'm gonna let him I'm gonna just go ahead no but you know

what honestly in my life I have missed it's been so many near miss because I'm very um attentive uh-huh you know I make sure I pay attention you're a defensive driver yeah and I just pay attention I look wheels. I'm always looking in my mirror. Is this wheel moving funny? When the car passes me, can I see something going on with the driver? I do this, yeah. I just tune people out and I'm driving. She knows I don't even drive with music.

It's not, I can't concentrate on the music and the car at the same time. So it's like I need my space to think and I need my space to be attentive. And I think about all the times where I could have been accident and it wasn't because I controlled the situation not saying that it can't happen right however I was on this plane and I was praying and I started praying I normally don't pray you know um but then things will happen or situations will happen and people ask for prayers and I give it to them. You want prayers? Cool. Here you go. Pray. You know what I'm saying?

But I start to realize that any time anything ever failed is because I prayed. I'm not saying it's because I prayed, but because I went outside of myself for a solution. I started to realize that any situation in my life where I didn't think about it and just handled and then overthinking and pray about it, it went perfectly fine. It was a tough situation and I got out of it, you know, or it was rough and it was cool. I found my solution. But then sometimes things, and I think they're too bad and I'll start praying about it, but I'm praying and kind of not acting or not using my power within and now things are failing. And it was in the middle of that plane ride that I was like, if the plane crashes, it ain't going to be because of God. It's because the engine failed or things happen.

And, you know, but it wasn't going to be because God's like, OK, plane fall. Because if there is a God out there, I don't think he works that way. I don't think so either. Yeah. If he did, why is it this car crashes and not this one? Why is it this plane crashes and not that one? is it this plane crashes and not that one you know it's like yeah why do we have children with cancer you know right right and then if if that is up there and you are doing that then do I want to believe in you who's going this innocent child

and you're just gonna get no do I want to believe right it's like I don't want to do that yeah so I started to realize like I I gotta stop giving that power. It's like, I don't want to do that. Yeah. So I started to realize, like, I got to stop giving that power. And like I said, I don't do it often because, like you, I'm not religious. I am very spiritual. I clean my sage. I chant. I hum. I say the things I need to say.

Love my meditation. Right. I send back people their energy. I tell people all the time, I send back all energy that is not mine. You know, because i know how quick people attach energy to you yes you know so it's like i tell people i remove all energy and i send back everything that ain't mine just keep your stuff i don't want it but uh look saying all that i kind of missed my point a little bit that's okay i drove so far but what i was trying to say like i drove so far missed two exits

but you're a really good driver thank you thank you i haven't been in an accident yet but now i'm gonna leave the house later and get an accident because i'm thinking about it it's not gonna be a big accident it's gonna be like a fender bender um see so that's another thing i always see myself getting out of situations. Because if the plane crashes, I'm going to live. It's going to be sad because everybody else is going to die. But I'm going to live. And then they're going to make a movie out of you or a podcast or something.

And it's going to be bad because they're going to say I dug through all them people's pockets. Because it's the first thing that I'm doing. You're like, but you don't need this Rolex. Right. You is dead. And I say that jokingly, but I pray that if anything like that ever happens there I go praying again yeah that I am conscious enough to make sure I pickpocket these people or like take some jewelry you know I'm saying first of all if we land crash most likely we gonna be in some water somewhere because that's where planes always crash they always crashing in the water like in the middle

of the Amazon or some shit right and who gonna find your jewelry there you're gonna you got the bag for the body you ain't worried about this ring and i gotta make sure i know what first class is you know that's what they always be like i always try to get into first class on the crashed plane. Right. What you was doing up here? Nothing. What's all this stuff in your pocket? Waiting to find somebody's coach bag and stuff it.

I'm sorry. I kind of went on a little too far. But that's really what I want to do. So cool. So we got Dirty Little Secrets podcast on podcast platforms. All of them. Yep and YouTube and YouTube okay and then we have the Trophy Wife Life YouTube all podcast

platforms and then you said it was the Entertainers Network? The Entertainers Network you can go to theenetwork.com and you can contact us there if you want to do an interview series or if you want to submit your podcast for podcast of the week or soon will be the actors challenge. I also have Cynthia's Corner.

She's my very spiritual, beautiful friend who does a card pool for entertainers every month. So that's really fun to watch, too. Awesome. And all the details are going to be at the bottom of the screen, of course. Hopefully, as you set them, let me see if I'm that if I'm that good to put it up there as you said it. If not, people just understand I'm dyslexic, okay? But yeah, definitely. I'm so glad that you came on today. Yeah, this was fun. Even though you was late talking about you was on Google. I was on Google. Hey, I took a picture because I was like, I hope they don't say

that I didn't show up. And so I took a picture of it. Now, I'm going to go back to the fact that you said... That would have been such an idea. Look, but this is the crazy part. I'm going to go back

to the fact that you said you used to be bad. That bad still is you because you covered up your tracks real quick. It creeps back of your... Well, I'm also a protect your ass kind of person.

So, we thank you so much for coming on. We will definitely stay in contact. I'm going to check out their little secrets myself because, I don't know, I guess I have to live vicariously through some other people. Oh, it's so good. Because my life is not that interesting. But I want it to be. So, if you want to make my life interesting call no i'm just joking um but send me his only fans with his cute toes coming soon right okay the feet with the whipped cream is coming only fans soon what we gonna call it Christian's Feet. No, we're gonna work on that title.

I thought I was gonna come up with something clever because I felt like, but it didn't look like this, which I just wanted to say something. But yes, we will definitely list all your contact information on our website. We're so glad that you came on. Me too. We thank everybody at home for watching.

It's kind of cool. We've been focusing on mental health this episode and I feel like we joked and I didn't get to ask all the questions I wanted to ask. But, you know, you need laughter. That's a big part of mental health.

Absolutely. Learn to laugh about things. Learn, life is humorous. Things are funny. You know, it's really bad to say I'm a cancer survivor,

went through chemo and I just remember some of the most funniest people I ever met were cancer patients on chemo. I mean, when you go through something like that, you learn to find the humor in life. Learn to laugh. Make sure we check out Dana Pereira. Yeah. Okay.

I want to make sure I said it right. Check out everything that she has. We're going to make sure we have all your contact information there. Once again, thank you. And we'll see you guys soon. Yay. Bread aisle, are you ready to rock? Dave's Killer Bread is the country's number one organic bread for a reason.

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