These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Finding Light in Darkness: Betsy Ross’s Journey & Mission 🌟| Season 3 Episode 314

Episode Date: February 18, 2024

Send us a Text Message.In this profoundly moving episode of "Finding Light in Darkness," we embark on a transformative journey with Betsy Ross, a beacon of resilience and hope. As we navigate the complexity of emotions from sadness to anxiety, we delve deep into an emotional excavation that reveals the empowering strength of vulnerability. Betsy, an army veteran and author, shares her mission of turning personal trials into a narrative of triumph, touching on themes central to mental health a...

You don't have to be positive all the time. It's perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, and anxious. Having feelings doesn't make you a negative person. It doesn't even make you weak. It makes you human. And we are here to talk through it all. We welcome you to These Fucking Feelings Podcast. A safe space for all who needs it.

Grab a drink and take a seat the session begins now what is up guys welcome to these fucking feelings podcast i am micah got rebecca in california co-hosting it seems now that that's to be her new permanent spot not in california but co-hosting virtually so we'll talk about that at another time and then we got crystal over here in the studio working out with me and we are on with our special guest betsy ross yeah so now it's an applause and um so i guess it's your name rebecca wants to ask you questions about your name. So first of all, I love that you have the American flag behind you because obviously anybody who knows Betsy Ross knows the history of Betsy Ross and the American flag. But so obviously we have to get this all cleared up before we move

any further i want to know if your name has anything to do with the reason you joined up because you're a veteran yourself okay do you have a military background background? Family? Family in the background? Yeah. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I've had both my mom and dad, uncles, a bunch of family. Okay, gotcha. So did you even know

who Betsy Ross was? Of course. Oh, I didn't, so shame on me. Yeah, totally. Rebecca was the only one. I know. I got so excited when I saw your name because I think... She did. She got so excited about your name. And I'm trying to think which actress is Betsy Ross and what was her best role because...

He should be ashamed of himself, right, Betsy? He should be ashamed. It's okay. She's like, I don't know. What kind of people is Jason introducing me to? Yeah, I have questions. Because, you guys, she was introduced to us by Jason Steiner. Now, she'll remember him, Hero Stock. So, we're always going to promote him in everything that he does.

Hero Stock 24. We're going to keep track him and everything that he does. Hero Stock 24 we're going to keep track of it. Now Betsy I guess before we go any further, Rebecca was just so, she was really excited about your name so I wanted her to be able to get that off. But now

I'm going to ask you to introduce yourself to us. Right? You get that reference all the time though, right? You get that reference all the time? Yeah, okay. It's just you, Rebecca. You're the only person. I'm sure of it.

No judgment. Put it together. Back to the show. Now that we're done having our Sesame Street moment, let's get back on these fucking feelings. Okay.

But that's, I'm going to ask you to introduce yourself to our audience, but I'll do a little twist with it now, right? You have to tell us something in there that only people close to you would know. Oh, like a secret obsession for fruit roll-ups

unfortunately no on that but uh let's see i am an army veteran i'm the author of the fight series which is a fictional series regarding um veterans transitioning out of the military it shows more of a mental health and internal side of uh some of the struggles that a lot of veterans do face when they're returning homes and to their friends and such. But as far as a secret that only someone close to me would know, I don't, I'm so open on social media. I don't even know what no one else knows. I'm open on all my interviews. Yeah, I think we all are too. Well, maybe Rebecca, not as much. I keep everything until I'm ready to give it. Well, tell us more about you as a person. Like what made you, I mean, obviously you said that your family, your dad, your uncles

and so forth were in the military. Is that the main reason why you also joined or was there already an internal desire to do so? Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever join the military. I didn't think it was for me. I always wanted to be a geologist. So my first degree is geology. But in the process of me going to college the first time, I somehow developed some sort of confidence that maybe I could join the military. I realized that I had this, I don't know if it's a connection or just like a, I can't think of a word for it right now, but it's like just a desire to actually wear the uniform, know what it's all about, actually serve my country. I mean, patriotism was very much in our family growing up, but I didn't think I'd ever join. I didn't think it was for me. But of course, my entire family, all my uncles, my parents were all Air Force.

I was the black sheep, so I went Army. I'm the only Army in my family. Yes. So I don't know what really caused it. I think what I can only think back now, maybe it was the confidence, physical, like the physical PT tests that probably made me think I'd never get to do that. And then I became more in shape when I got into college. And then I was like, yes, I can. And then I just started building up on my challenges against myself. And I realized I was out doing pushups with the guys. So I was ready. For sure. That's great. I thought about joining the military one time too. I was sitting in this jail cell after drunk driving.

And I was like, you know what? I think I need a little bit of Air Force in my life. I need to get my life together. Micah is such a joker. I'm sure you've watched other episodes or whatnot, but Micah handles everything with a joke. And the truth. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, of course. He's funny. We'll talk about that after. So what inspired you to start writing these books? I fell on a very dark place after I got out of the military and I started realizing that people I had served with, people I considered friends, were still committing suicide and I was nowhere near them. I was struggling myself and I realized that I couldn't connect with fellow veterans. I couldn't connect with my family. The VA denied me to speak with them. The VA denied my injury. I didn't think I had anything to connect with at all. So I realized that I needed a voice. I needed a purpose.

And then I realized that a lot of veterans do struggle finding themselves, finding that purpose again. And that state of mind that I was just in, I realized that I had a lot to overcome. So I kind of used the series as my own outlet as well. But of course, all the characters are doing different things. So it's different perspectives, male, female, different ranks, and just different MOSs and such. But still, I used it as my own personal journey. But I also needed a voice out there to speak up for veterans who didn't feel like they

had a voice, didn't want to talk about mental health of any kind, how they felt or anything like that. Because even veterans who did want to talk to me, they didn't want to talk to me at that way. They had to make the jokes. They didn't want to talk about the bad leadership. They didn't want to talk about their actual experience as far as how it affected them. So I figured that was a big issue as to why so many veterans commit suicide. So I really wanted to make that a mission.

Right. And what is the number? Per day, did they say? Oh, per day that they see a veteran commit suicide. Sorry. No, it was at 22, but I've seen some that it was a lot higher than that. Right. See, I thought it was 122.

Yeah, I thought it was 122, but I was like, it just sounds like a lot. So I didn't want to misquote it. But we'll look that up and let you know. 22. Inside the caption. I mean, 22 is a lot, but for some reason I'm like you, I thought it was a higher number. But it's crazy to like sit here and fight for your country and then come back and be like, eh, you didn't get hurt. Eh, you don't need our help.

Yeah. So. That's the scariest thing. My son, he's in the Army and in May, he's actually going overseas. And to think about him coming back and having struggles like yourself is kind of scary. Yeah. Unfortunately, yes. And it doesn't matter if you deploy or not.

Yeah. Right, right. Definitely. That too. I mean, just he has a daughter and he leaves once in a while and that's even tough. Just leaving your family. Definitely. Crystal was very bitter that her son moved away.

He did. He moved to Tennessee. I don't blame her. She's so mad about it. It was Crystal that time. I know, but I keep cutting Rebecca off. It's hard. She's so used to it.

We all talk all over each other, but I was determined to talk on this episode. So I keep like cutting in. So, um, but yeah, no, I forgot what I was going to say now, but, um, yeah, it's okay. Oh no. You had gone overseas. I mean, what part of the army have you been actively involved in? Have you gone over Afghanistan? I actually did not deploy at all. I was injured before I even got to deploy. I ended up chaptered out because I was injured and they needed able bodies to deploy to Afghanistan. So I tried to force myself to take that as a sign that I wasn't meant to go over there

because I was chaptered out. And that's usually a negative thing. But even the code they gave me was medical related. I have nerve damage in my arm. Of course, they can't find evidence for that. So I was denied that. But they needed able bodies right away. So they chaptered me out so they can get able bodies. Gotcha.

So I kind of got screwed on that end. Oh, that's a bummer. Yeah. So what do you do? My dad was a Vietnam vet and we kind of seen like his struggle with mental health just in that. And like until now, and he died a few years ago, but until now is like we're starting to see that all that was like from his experience in Vietnam. You know, like he really had issues, you know, but also he was one of the people I think that's where I get my humor from. He was very funny about life, you know, but he also had like really dark parts of him that all happened because of the military and then

him not having support afterwards and they're like i don't get that concept sorry rebecca that's okay that's okay yeah um rebecca's like yeah i ain't gonna keep throwing attention to me when i ain't ready That's okay. Rebecca's like, yeah, I ain't going to keep throwing attention to me when I ain't ready. I know, but I keep forgetting my question. I was on a good question and I forgot it again. See, I didn't write all my questions down. See, I like to prepare before everything. These guys make fun of me all the time because I do that.

But then I have all my questions answered that I wrote down. But now I do that. But then I have all my questions answered that I wrote down, but now I forgot them. We don't make fun of her being prepared. It's that she never uses what she prepared. It's because I try to regurgitate what's written down and I mess it up. So now I vow to read verbatim what I have written

so I don't mess it up. And I'm doing pretty well with that this time around. However... And now you messing it up. Bessie's like, me and Jason really need to have a conversation. This isn't going... This is not going so well.

And just imagine we're a top 10 podcast, right? We do not have a reason for this interview. Okay. Yeah, we're going to get to a point. But how many books do you have? So it's a fight series. Is series always three?

Is that a dumb question? No. It's not. Series are always three. Four. Okay. And I don't even know where I got that from. So maybe I'm thinking of another word, but I was like, so it's four books.

It's four books. Did you pull inspiration from real life experiences that you experienced or was it like your own? Most of it, yes. Or just how you saw it? Most of it, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Most of it, I put my own personal experience through any of the characters.

I may not be infantry, but I do have characters that were infantry. My husband was infantry, and I also had some other veterans that could give me some input. And was it more realistic enough to put in the story as it was? But a lot of it was my own personal struggles that I had faced. And so that's why it was so personal for me and why the series itself means so much to me. So I may not have deployed, but fighting for your country, fighting for your family, having that camaraderie, being in that family, same uniform, all of that was meant more to me than anything. I was too gung-ho. I was the one that when they say don't

go gung-ho, I was gung-ho and I got screwed for it, but I cared and I still care. So I try to still be a voice for veterans. I may have felt like I failed the Army then, but I'm still continuing the fight mission now. That's great. That's definitely great. Are there other ways you volunteer or help the veterans? I'm sure your series helps them immensely. Just wondered if there's anything else that you did. Unfortunately, no, not at this time. It's really been through the fight series i have met other

veterans organizations and i've been helping them trying to get the word out for them and then i've only recently been in contact with jason so i'm hoping i can actually be at hero stock next year but um okay us too and we're gonna try to meet you there because we didn't get to make it either we have plans to make it right and Rebecca ended up having to go away on a business trip so we were like ah but next year we're going to definitely try to be there so

yeah we'll find you deal unfortunately if you want to yeah exactly right Unfortunately. If you want to. Yeah, exactly. It'll be okay if you don't. Right. Look, I'm about to get no more emails from Jason.

Jason ain't going to email me no more ever. He's like, I'm not introducing you to nobody else. You scared her. Nah. Wow. But, um, with veterans, I guess it's, go ahead, Rebecca. nah wow but um so veterans I guess it's go ahead Rebecca

you said your husband was also in the services is he in the army also or in the air force or he's in the same branch he was army army did you guys meet like did you work together no we didn't we actually met through a friend a mutual friend Did you guys meet, like, did you work together?

No, we didn't. We actually met through a friend, a mutual friend. It's kind of a crazy story. She's like, I didn't come up here to talk about my love story. I came to talk about my books. Well, he never got deployed himself. So I'm just wondering if his experiences are incorporated in your book. Oh, yes. He'd been in eight years.

He'd been to Afghanistan a couple of times, Iraq a couple of times, Djibouti, Africa. He was infantry, so he actually had to go places more so. Wow. So he's definitely probably, his stories are probably very well heard in the, in the series then. He definitely gave a lot of insight on a lot of things, not to say like his personal story as a whole, but I took, I definitely took bits and pieces of his and some of the other people that he served with. I took from their perspective as well.

And I kind of just incorporated little bits and pieces to create the characters and their backstories. Gotcha. How do you handle, um, him going away with, you know, on what could happen?

Uh, it was as like, you know, you're in there. Yeah. His last appointment was to Afghanistan and he had just got there in time to see our daughter born. So that part was rough. He missed our first daughter.

Wow. Whole first year life. Wow. That's always hard, I'm sure. So that was hard. And then when you come back the vet didn't want to do nothing for you you know what we're gonna hold america accountable okay we're not gonna do nothing else we probably get canceled

tomorrow but while we're airing today we're gonna hold america responsible sorry taking care of these vets, okay? No, serious. No, I am serious. You know I'm serious. It wasn't until meeting Jason. Jason actually kind of, like, was our first interview about veterans. And I want to say 122.

I don't know why. But, you know, how many veterans, like, die per day? And to me, it was like, wow. And it was like, it was crazy to learn about, like, my father through Jason, you know, because my father never talked about it. So and then it made sense on how like, you know, veterans or people who are actively in the military right now have mental health issues, you know, because all the things you aren't sharing. You know, I know if I get mad a little bit, you took my ink pen. Like, I'm mad. You know what I'm saying? Imagine what you went through over there. You're fighting for your country.

So, you know, and I never told you I'm mad. And I've been holding this grudge for 10 years because you took my favorite pen. Good job, Rebecca. Which we could have just handled if we took care of it. I guess that's all I'm trying to say, right? Not that he's trying to equate fighting for your country and a stolen pen. I mean, that's not...

Pen is equal, you know? They are not on the same level, people. We're not... I mean, maybe if the pen was in her pocket and got put through the dryer, that's probably... Let's get off the pen. We're going to get off the pin, okay? Meet me in Micah's world, Lord.

Betsy, okay. Betsy, how you doing, girl? I'm going to talk to you. It's just me and you right now, right? I am going to tell you a funny story when you said Djibouti, right? I used to work at my... I work in logistics,

and my first job in logistics was for a steam... I mean, a Zim, which is a steamship line but we used to ship to jabuti all the time so we all it was a call center we in a call center we all used to call each other like how much does it how much uh is it how much does it cost to go to your booty oh my god you know but it's so funny even like our boss used to do it i want to go to your booty your booty

this is the worst time we've ever heard this story isn't it crystal it is the first time yeah she said your booty i was like dad i haven't heard of that in years so close to your chest. I like that story, Micah. Okay, so now we're going to get serious. How do you manage your mental health now? Mainly through fitness and various, like whether it's running, gym, yoga, and then, of course, writing. Okay, now give another answer other than fitness well fitness works for her micah yeah it was a joke like this group we don't do fitness yeah a lot of our

guests who come on do fitness as they're... Our fitness is eating. I love to eat. Yes, I love to eat. You know, it makes me sick to hear a person who goes to the gym and stops on what they love to eat. What do you love to eat? A salad? I can eat salad.

I can eat whatever I want if I'm working out. Especially if I run. True. A lot of people say they live to eat or they eat to live. I live to eat. I tried to say it in my head.

It didn't work out. Eat to live. How long? You said it to live You said it right You said it right Are you ready Rebecca Can we move on now Yeah we're good How are your children

When your husband deploys Or you guys are away From them Well he's not in right now Okay He's actually non-deployable right now uh oh i'm sorry non-employable now uh but we have three kids now and we were running a longhorn ranch and now we've got a snake business and so and then i also work as a medical lab tech at a hospital so i have a very very full busy schedule and weird okay snakes yeah yes we have snakes you know i feel like

a type of people that go to the military like snakes you know what it's a coincidence my son went to this place and he said it was where did he go? but there was a tarantula and he like the tarantula was so huge

you draw a line in spiders and he was asleep he had to sleep in a tent and this thing was so huge and he do you remember me showing you the video? I don't

and he put his boot against it and it was huge. You would probably just flew back home. Well, spiders is one bug I don't mind. What kinds of snakes do you have on your ranch? They're just ball pythons. Not venomous.

Okay. I guess that'd make it a little better. I think I'd still be scared yeah let's get let's get back on your books right she was like can we get back to the reason why we heal now um so it's four of them how long did it take you to write them the first book was published in 2017. So for four, six years. But I went back to school. I did other things as well.

And plus, I didn't think it would be a series, to be honest. It started out with just the first book, and I thought that would be it. And then it ended up hearing some feedback. You know, there's actually a lot of issues we have in the veteran community, whether it's homelessness, drug abuse, you name it. And so I kind of incorporated just different characters as the story goes on. So the story still networks and kind of piles up as you go. It's better if you actually read it for me to make it make sense. Right, right.

No, that was going to be my question. Was it like one long story or was it like completely like a series but still different? It jumps around a lot. So. And you can go on Amazon and. Yes. Or you can go fight with Betsy Ross. Yes.

Or fight with Betsy Ross dot com. But I am self-published. So I self-published through Amazon. So the four individual books are available in paperback, Kindle, and audio all on Amazon. But then I have the combined version, which is called Fight Collection. It's only available in hardcover right now. Now, are your books family-friendly? Is it something that people can sit with their kids and read because you want them to know the truth?

There's a lot of language because it was written from a veteran's perspective. And in the military, cursing to your boss is somewhat normal. So they definitely swear. Everyone swears. My son didn't swear until he came back from boot camp. Yep. He didn't. It's a thing. He came back from boot camp and then

that was it. That was it. So when was the last time you were in the military? I got out in 2012. 2012. 2012. Okay.

So cool. And then where, I guess, weird question, but how did that journey go? Like, what did it look like in the beginning? As far as what, the series or like when I first got out? Oh, sorry. You mentally, how you were mentally. My bad. I forget that people don't know what I'm thinking, right? It was a very dark time for me. I basically couch surfed for a while. I couldn't keep a job. I was

living out of my truck. I jumped into school because I thought that was a good idea and military always pushes that on you and society pushes that on you school because I thought that was a good idea. And military always pushes that on you and society pushes that on you. So I did that. But realistically, I probably shouldn't have done that because of how much stress it puts on you. Plus with everything else I had going on at the time, because I was going through a divorce at the time and I didn't have a place to live. I didn't know what my next meal would be. I was basically eating peanut butter out of a jar. I couldn't keep a job. I was struggling big time and life did not make sense. It seems like it was the end of a lot of things, end of your marriage, end of the military. So you were dealing with a lot of things, you know, end of your marriage, end of the military. So you were dealing with a lot of ending at the same time. I was. And of course, at the time, I also jumped into trying

to fight the VA and that was a pain and got me nowhere. And there was one night I did call the VA to set up an appointment to speak with a counselor and they said they couldn't help me unless I was going to kill myself right then and there. I know that's a lie now because at the time they said that I wasn't medically discharged, which is a lie. You don't have to be medically discharged to go to the VA. But at the time, that's just what I was told. So I kind of gave up working with the VA. Veterans didn't want to talk to me because I'm just a female. I wasn't infantry. I wasn't cool. I didn't deploy. So they were just like, oh, well, you were just going, ho, don't want to talk to you. And then my family didn't know what I was saying. Cause I was still stuck in that mindset, that jargon, waking up 3am going for a run. But it was like, I had no

friends, even though I came back home. Cause I thought that would be familiar with for me. And it wasn't. It was like my whole town was so different. Everything had changed. People moved away. So it's like my family didn't know me. I didn't know them. I couldn't talk to anybody.

It was the most darkest time of my life. And I stayed in that mindset, that darkness for at least three years. If you could have did something different to prevent that darkness, if there was something that exists, what would that have been? Probably not drink so much. Because that way I probably would have maybe had found, I guess, sort of like a light at the end of the tunnel a little sooner, or at least had a little more hope. Because obviously alcohol is a depressant. But I was going through so much and no one to talk to, no one who could understand me. I wanted to be back in the military, but I couldn't go back in the military. And my chain of command basically said, you're not our problem anymore. And they don't answer me. So it was. I was.

Did you do any self-blaming kind of like, like, like failure type of, you know, like, absolutely. Didn't do this. And absolutely. Because I joined the military to do something and I ended up being chaptered out for being injured, chaptered out, which is meant to be a negative thing, but I was chaptered out because I was not deployable because they had to go to Afghanistan now. So they chaptered me out,

which is quicker than medically discharged. And so basically I got screwed that way. But at the time, basically I felt like my chain of command was just throwing me out. I mean, I got honorably discharged, but it was still like, okay, so I failed the army. I failed my chain of command. I failed myself. I failed my marriage. I failed my family because they, they were in the military eight, 12 years, a long time. I barely served a couple years before I was injured. And there was a lot of failures against me and I had no hope and I had no backup. I had no support system. And so it wasn't until I met my now husband and we just started a family and it was then I, I guess I had some traction cause I had also started my career. And then I was like, I need to talk about this cause there's some veterans who do end up just

homeless. They don't have that chance where they can meet a significant other to help them keep motivated to keep going. Cause I attempted suicide countless of times. And it was, there was just a lot against me. And then of course me going to school was probably, it was a savior at the time because it kind of stayed somewhat kept me forced to go into school where I had to be around people.

But even that was kind of difficult. I was barely be around people, but even that was kind of difficult. But you wasn't sleeping. I was barely sleeping, but that alone was hard because this was my second time going back to college. The first time I was right out of high school. So at this time, this was a few years later and going back to school with high schoolers again, basically my mindset after being out of the army and these people are talking about what their problems were like i was not in the mindset to be around students i was not in a happy place so shout out real quick to your dope husband he sound amazing so we just want to thank you

because you had to be an angel because i feel like there's about to be 80 more books in your future. You have been through some stuff. I have a lot to say. But even through fight, I did get to channel a lot of the negative things I felt or faced. And I got to live vicariously sort of through all the different characters. Because like I said, it may not be exactly my story, but I put bits and pieces of through all the different characters because like i said i may not it may not be exactly my story but i put bits and pieces of it all over in the characters and their backgrounds and the flashbacks and everything that you can see in the story and um yeah it was just a

very dark time i wish i'd done more i still have some regret i don't really have hard feelings for the army because i still promote it. I still love it. I'm still for veterans. I'm all for it. But for my own personal experience, it sucks. Yeah. That's too bad, really. Yeah, sorry.

I can have the hard feelings. America, get it together. Don't let me tell you again. Do like my mom used to do, right? Don't make me turn this world around get it together I wish you said that to me I know I wish too so um

I'm sorry I lost my question too go ahead Rebecca but you maybe go ahead sorry um no I don't have anything more Go ahead. Sorry. No, I don't have anything more. Yeah. You know, I don't have anything more on my paper, but.

I just want to say she looks like she's in her 20s. I know. Right. We like your baby when you had time to go through this? You were still in campus? It's that fitness. Make me feel young again. Maybe I am going to go to the gym. You're about to get fired.

You're going to wear it. We do not promote fitness here, okay? We're going to bleep those out and just tell people. Oh my God. We're going to bleep those out and just tell people. Oh my God. We're going to bleep it out and tell people that you were cursing. Every time you say fitness, can we...

You had a potty mouth. You used a potty mouth. You know? From the army. Oh my God. Sorry. Okay. We're probably going to get serious again. And actually, I'm about to go

really, really serious. I don't know if you said already, but if I just missed it, because I was probably thinking about something else that happens to me all the time. But how did you get connected with... Some friends introduced them. Get it together.

No, not her husband. I'm talking about... Is she frozen or are you just acting? Like, are you playing possum I froze you guys froze so I froze I was like I don't know what I'm doing here um no the hero sock guy

oh Jason thank you oh man I'm gonna have to edit that out too we're gonna have to edit that out Bets too. We're going to have to edit that out. I'm sorry, Jason. I'm sorry. Betsy, I'll send you $100 to get this happen. Yeah. So how did you get connected with him? I don't know if I remember hearing that or not. It was through kind of a group of people. I actually don't remember now who individually introduced us because of Tom

Edinger and now they're going to kick my butt because I don't remember everyone's names right now because I guess I'm panicking. Oh no, don't panic. Damn Rebecca, you making people feel that way? No, I have anxiety and

when it comes to remembering things right off the bat, my brain like shuts off. Like it happens to me. And then I feel bad because I suck at remembering names as it is. But then of course, with the fight series, I'm always contacting or reaching out to people and contacting people and just remembering names, so many names and groups and organizations and such. It's hard to remember everybody.

But I know Tom... Well, in your next book, just make sure that you put in that you listen to these fucking feelings podcast. Definitely. I was walking down the street listening to these fucking feelings podcast when, you know,

that's it. And I just need one time. We'll be good with that one time. But it needs to be highlighted. Exclamation, bold, italic. Back to my very serious question, though. They are veterans, and I hope they are,

watching or listening to our podcast right now. Right? And it's scary to imagine the stuff they go through, and even you, what you said, how many times you try to commit suicide yourself. You know, no one can give advice more than a person who went through it. So if I was a vet or someone just coming home and I was in that dark place and I was drinking too much,

what would you say to me? Keep fighting the fight. Because even when you're off the field, off deployment, coming back home, we still have a fight within us. The VA may not always help us and have our back. Our chain of command may not always be there. But there are veterans on state side that we're fighting a fight too. And we have to stick together we have to have each other six who knows a vet better than a vet find another vet and y'all can share stories y'all can actually find something y'all can relate to or relate with y'all may not have all deployed to

the same place y'all may not have served in the same area same platoons or whatever trust me veterans can connect you just got to find the right people who are willing to listen and have your back because they are out there. Very good. Right. Now, in the reverse side, what are you going to say to America? Who needs to step up? What needs to change? Put you on blast, right? Well, unfortunately, there's's not i don't personally think there is just a one thing that needs fixed it's not we can't blame everything with the va the va there's too many veterans too many situations circumstances there's too many for the va by itself to take care of that's why i really have um kind of promoted and helped motivate other organizations.

We got to help who we can. We can't help every veteran. But, you know, if a veteran likes to hunt, there's organizations to those who like to hunt. There's organizations who like to fish. Maybe you're just a reader, chessboard player or whatever. There's there are sections, if you will, organizations that focus on that. So you can also find your people that way if you find a common hobby or interest. Because feeling alone, it's very easy.

Even in a crowded room, you can feel alone. You can feel alone being around family because society really does push on veterans. When you're home, you're going to be around people who love you and who know you. But when you come home, you don't feel like you. You don't have purpose. You don't know who you were. You forgot who you were. That old person of you died inside. You don't feel like everything's okay. People tell you you're okay, that everything's going to be okay, but you don't believe it. And whether you have a habit or not, whether it's drinking or drugs or just hanging around people you shouldn't, those negative thoughts just linger and they stay there until someone can help you see the light, see the different purpose, a different side of you that is possible. But the sad thing is more often than not,

we get drowning into our own thoughts and memories. And a lot of us do miss the military, even though we say we hate it. Oh, you know, bump that, you know, we don't miss anything about it. My, my leader sucked and didn't listen to me, but you miss it. You miss that camaraderie. You miss the people who were there. You knew you weren't alone. Even if you had to do something that was just so boring or, oh, you have to go sweep the, you know, the motor pool. You had other people around you. You misery loves company. Well, you had people constantly around you looking after you. If you went missing, trust me, someone was going to look for you. Here on the civilian side, if you go missing, you go wandering off the street and you just give up on life, you're homeless now.

No one's going to come looking for you where you don't feel like anyone will. So it's... You don't feel like... Yeah, you don't feel like... Just to let you know, I look for everybody, right? Because I called my boss today. I'm like, my boss. I was like, yo, you okay? Because I to let you know, I look at everybody, right? Because I call my boss today. I'm like my boss. I was like, yo, you okay?

Because I ain't heard from you all day. Who wants to hear from their boss? Me. I'm calling him up like, you alive? And you don't know what you mean. I didn't hear nothing from you all day. And it's like,

that's a good thing. But sorry, anyway. True story. So if you know me, I'm going to look for you and I care. And it frustrated me. It kind of made me angry that you said we couldn't save them all.

I don't know why. I mean, I know why. I know why because that should not be a fact. And you said a fact. We can't save them all. Like, we shouldn't expect to save them all. But we should. We should live in a society where we protect who protects us.

All of them. Every single one. My bad. That's just my little hot horse for today because I'm like, you know, here it is. You a vet and you're saying this. Out. You know what I'm saying? Like this is the world we live in and it's crazy. My bad. I'm sorry. No, it's true. Yeah. It's like frustrating. It's like, er. My next question for you going to be, because you said that sometimes you still promote the military, but then you kind of answered that question with all the positive things. Yeah, so, but I did one. I was going to ask, like, well, you know, how would you promote it? Because I know there has to be anger there.

So what is it about the military that you love so much? Or what is it about our country that you love so much? Or what is it about our country that you love so much? And it's crazy that I'm asking that question, right? Well, what I love about, not really, actually. What I love about our country is the freedom to speak of everything. And we can promote veterans or whatever you want to believe. And where I can actually write stories about fights. Because when I first wrote it, many veterans even told me not to talk about PTSD in that way

or mental health that way. Again, it's better if you actually read it because you can actually, you can kind of see where they were coming from. But at the same time, if we don't talk about it, who will? Because that is one thing I definitely found out in the veteran community, especially when I needed, I felt like I needed to talk to a veteran, was that no one wanted to talk about the dark side of PTSD and whether it's just the bad leadership or just how, just those experiences you have in the military. It's something that needs to be said. And that's why FITE kind of puts all

of that in light because I thought even family members needed to know what their veteran was facing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a different story, experience, everything. But even family members can at least get an idea of how a lot of veterans do feel when they come home. And so I realized that even if I had all this pushback from fellow veterans, that there were people out there who were reading it and understanding it. And then I started getting testimonies later on, and then I realized, yeah, that's what it's for. And so, I mean, there have been people who've reached out to me and said, I thought of killing myself today, but I read fight and changed my mind. So that alone is a big deal. And then I

had someone who said, I need to call you right now. And I said, okay. So she called me and she said that she is a veteran and that fight saved her marriage because she just handed the book off to her husband and said, you need to read this because this is how I feel. And they were on the brink of divorce. They both read fight and they understood kind of what their emotions were trying to tell them and sort of opened more doors for them to open up discussion. So fight is definitely thought provoking. It is definitely a good discussion starter. Even if you don't agree with everything that fight says, maybe you can't relate to everything.

It will definitely get you thinking about maybe your friends, or maybe you saw someone say or do something similar to the characters. It can probably get you, you know, checking in on them more like, Oh, maybe that's what they meant and so um fight definitely has a mission has a purpose and i sort of made it my purpose and that's dope and you took my next question so i'm gonna edit this out and put the question before your answer because i wanted to know is this just a book for veterans or is this something that you recommend like anybody like me a civilian can read and you answer that so Rebecca I know how it feels to be you it's about time thank you

Betsy did it because I was like oh if she answered one more question before i asked okay like that hello i don't know you said you're new to this so i'm gonna explain interviewer interviewee okay i guess i could read my i have esp i don't know it's a thing and I had that question already too I'm like I bet Rebecca don't got this question really really dark advice

really amazing advice you said suicide attempts were they like unsuccessful or did someone find you or save you? And you don't have to answer that. That's really, really personal. Were they unsuccessful? I meant...

Betsy, did you understand my question, though? That's what I just heard, right? Betsy, you understood it, though, right? Betsy, do you understand what I'm trying to say? Absolutely, yes, right? I mean... Okay what you were trying to say. Yes, right? Okay, just like I believe a person can wake up dead. Okay, a person can wake up dead. I know a man that woke up dead.

Okay. Anything you want to edit out on this interview tonight, it's that. Oh my God. Rebecca, you are my co-host. You're my co-host. You are my co-host.

Remember, mine. That's great. I'm glad I can edit these videos myself. You made somebody cry. You made me cry. See, I told you. You made me cry. You officially made me cry. There you go.

Well, to answer the attempted question, they were unsuccessful. So that answer... I had just woke up. You didn't wake up dead. You didn't wake up dead. Okay. No. My God. You didn't wake up dead. You didn't wake up dead. Okay.

No. My God, you did not wake up dead. She's here to... How would you word the question? See, now I need to know how you word the question because like we had a friend who tried to commit suicide, but someone caught them in the middle of doing it and stopped them.

And I guess that's what I was trying to ask. I knew what you were trying to ask. Did you intervene for yourself or did someone else intervene for you? Because we know you didn't wake up yet. That's a good way to ask a question. Okay, Betsy, you taught me something today, okay?

It's think it through. But you kept answering them before I asked them, so I was nervous. I get it. I get you. I'm like, dang, they're going to fire me from the host. They're going to bring you on. You're going to be the host.

Girl, let me keep my job, okay? I'm going to call Jason and be like, no more. No more, Jason. more oh my goodness okay that was good sorry she's like she's about to call jason right away like that they are crazy you don't want to answer that crazy okay if you don't want to answer that crazy question, if you don't want to. Is it a crazy question, though? I don't know why. Is it an okay question to ask?

For me, it is. It's okay. I'm okay with that. Fate had it. I just woke up. So, it was a lot involved. Well, we're happy you woke up. Oh, definitely, definitely. I'm happy you woke up, okay? Just make that clear., we're happy you woke up. Oh, definitely. Definitely.

I'm happy you woke up. Okay. Just make that clear. So happy you woke up. I tell people that, not tell people, we have like a podcast phone number and it's like on our website. And I started receiving texts one day from a guy who claims to be on a bridge about to jump off.

Now I'm silly. So I'm thinking it's someone playing with me. It was a real-life situation. I didn't know what to do. So I guess my question was surrounding just that kind of thing. How does it happen or how does it not happen? I don't know. I'm going to edit all this out, okay?

It's okay. You can't edit the whole thing, Micah. So we're going to invite you back we're going to invite you back and we're going to record this whole thing all over again okay just a run through rehearsal

basically you see Jason had told me that you were new and he asked me to get you ready because your message is really important. So he wanted to make sure that the message you had was clear. So he asked me to bring you on to coach you a little bit. So, you know. He really didn't do that. He really didn't.

She knows I'm being facetious. Yes. It's all good. Okay. No, really. I mean, facetious. Yes, it's all good. Okay. No, really. I mean, you've been really, really amazing. I'm going to order Fight, right? But I want an autographed copy, so we're going to have to figure out how we're going to do that. I mean, I want autographed copies of them all.

Too easy. I can send them. Cool. And I'm going to read them. Are they available in audiobook? She said they were already. Lord, you ain't listening. Lord, I ain't listening.

Okay, cool. Because I listen to that's like my hour. I listen to an hour every night if I go to sleep because I'm one of those people that just fell into technology. I couldn't be no soldier because you ain't finna tell me we got to eat out this little purse. No. Oh my God. My son loves them. my god i don't i gotta wear these boots oh lord i mean his feet stink you know what look listen no she knows she's like yeah she's like listen how they pay tribute

to our veterans no veterans we are here for you. I am a lot like Betsy. You can call me. I'm going to talk to you, but just know when you call me, be ready to talk. Okay? We in for like a good hour. You betcha. I ain't going to shut up.

They're going to be like, you know what? You're going to be like, I ain't never going to think about committing suicide again. Suicide ever again. They were like, I'm over there telling them how my day at work was. You know, I had a truck problem. They're going to hang up on you and you're going to call them back. Right. Look, that's what I was saying.

I was thinking about it when you were talking about how you curse out your chain of command or you're yelling at your chain of command. And I was like, well, dag, I must be in the military. Oh my God. Because they be talking to me real crazy at work. And I be their boss. Oh my God. Oh my God. Why you look at me? Not me. It be you, okay. This is our problem

solved. So now, Betsy, before we let you go, is there anything that you wanted to say to our viewers and our audience that you didn't get a chance to say? I guess if you do get the chance to read the fight series to definitely leave a review and share it because self-published I'm,

it's just me marketing. And then of course, anytime I get a chance to be on a podcast or speak with another veteran, it's the only time I really get to talk about it. And I'm very passionate about it, but the main, of course, main mission,

main statement behind the series itself is keep fighting the fight. We all have a fight within us. Yes, we all have a different story. Yes, we, you know, may have some differences, but when it comes to the big game, if you will, we're all fighting, we're fighting for ourselves. But if we have each other's back, we can help fight that fight, that mental health fight, the demons, the drinking, the drugs, the whatever you're fighting. If you have someone, the right group, the right people, they're not going to judge you for it. And you're not alone in anything. Society will make you feel alone. Politics will separate you. That's why fight doesn't talk about politics anywhere on any social media. It's out

there to separate people. I'm wanting veterans to unite and anyone who is willing to help veterans to unite. So keep fighting the fight, whatever it is you're fighting, because we can help fight it together. That's great. It's about community. I think that was a big message also when Jason Steiner was here. Community. Community, I think, is part of the reason why he created Hero Stock, right? It's about the community. But I don't know. So 122 has stuck out in my head all day today. So if you're out there and you're a veteran, honestly, if you're anybody and you want a copy of the fight series, we'll pay for it up to 122 copies of the whole series. So get at us,

visit our website, and get your copy of the fight series. Dang! Look at you. And yeah, go ahead and promote that too. Get out your card. Hit them up. We'll buy the book for them. Wow.

Now, thank you so much for being on. It was awesome. don't tell jason we crazy he's gonna be so disappointed in us he already knows we have been a little crazier since we talked to him i know that's how i feel like i feel like we was real together when he was on and then like bessie's here and we're falling apart. That was when we were really new and I didn't really talk much. This is our coming out episode, right? And we just came out. It's been fun.

But you guys, thank you so much. We'll definitely list all of Betsy's contact information below, especially so you don't go out there and google the wrong Betsy Ross and now you start reading about the American flag and stuff. Lord, I learned that Betsy was born with her teeth. Did you know that? She was born with a full set of teeth.

Did you know that? Pretty sure. You did know that? She was born with a full set of teeth. I'm like, how people know this stuff that? she was born with a full set of teeth how people know this stuff? when she was born she came out of the womb with teeth in her mouth I wonder if she bit her mom on the way out only Micah would say something like that

thank you so much for being on. It's great. Thank you guys for watching. And we will see you next week. Yes. Thank you for serving our country. Thank you for still serving our country. America, don't make me do it.

Get your shit together. Let's start supporting these veterans and each other. Supporting the veterans because they're still doing what they can. They need to do better. They just have a lot to do. Thank you. One homeless veteran is one homeless veteran too many. Exactly.

Agreed. And we're going in with that. And with that, we're wrapping up another episode of the Fucking Feelings Podcast. Thank you all for tuning in and engaging in another intense and real discussion on understanding and navigating through our feelings. Don't forget, we're here each Wednesday bringing you brand new episodes filled with stories, advice and perspectives to help you handle those fucking feelings. So set a reminder on your calendar, grab your headphones, and join us every week. And if you're interested in exploring more ways to deal with life's stresses, make certain to tune in to our sister podcast.

Drama is expensive. Dive deep into discussions on managing trauma, building resilience, and fostering healing with new episodes dropping every Monday. Make sure to subscribe, rate, and comment on both podcasts on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, each comment and rating can catapult us further towards reaching those individuals who could really use our discussions. Your feedback is invaluable. Before we close, we want to remind you that discussing feelings is never a sign of weakness, but a display of courage. Stay brave, stay strong, and keep feeling those fucking feelings. Until next week, take care and keep the conversation going.