These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - From Ashes to Magic: Angela Legh's Transformative Journey | Season 3 Episode 307

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

Send us a Text Message.In this profound episode of "These Fukken Feelings Podcast," we welcome Angela Legh, a beacon of hope and a guiding light in the world of personal transformation and conscious parenting. Angela, a survivor of the devastating Tubbs wildfire and an advocate for self-love and emotional well-being, shares her incredible journey from despair to discovery.Angela opens up about her life before the wildfire – a life filled with internal struggles, unacknowledged sacrifices, and...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it. Grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now. What is up, guys? Welcome to these fucking feelings podcast. I am Micah. We got Rebecca here virtually from California because as I've been saying all season, she abandoned me. And we're going to take a real magical journey today with Angela Lee. And it's kind of cool because I was reading a lot about you and I saw love in a lot of what you're saying. And we're starting season three this year, which is focusing on love space.

See, season 2.5 last year was about the safe space. And now this season is going to be about the love space so i think it's going to be an incredible ride and um before we do get started one thing i do ask or we ask is that uh you introduce yourself only because i'm gonna forget something so if you don't mind telling our audience a little bit about yourself, you don't believe how many times people will get offended if you leave one thing out. Okay, I'm Angela Lee, and I am best known as the author of the Bella Santini Chronicles series, a children's series for ages 8 to 14. And the books are magical and award-winning um what they do is they're engaging and they teach children how to deal with emotion because even with the name of this podcast, Those Fucking Feelings, it's like many of us were raised with, you know, we don't talk about feelings or we don't express feelings.

And especially young men were, don't you cry, don't be a baby, and brought up to be stoic. But there's very much a consequence of repressing feelings. And so the messages I bring are basically that feelings are energy. Energy needs to move. Right. And so if we allow positive expression of our feelings, then we can be free emotionally. I'm looking forward to this because I kind of got some negative energy right now that I need to shake off. I had one of those crazy days. Happens to get this together. We got to get this together. But so I was reading a little bit, I guess, about you when you kind of had a pretty unique story yourself. I did. Yeah. Could make a movie out of me.

I really, really could. I was like, I couldn't even imagine. So I've been through a home fire, but it's something about wildfires that just sound different. You know, I lived in New York City and, you know, we lost an apartment, but it's not quite like losing a home, I feel like, because it's just different. It is. And like the first fire when I was a kid where we lost an apartment. The second Second fire in my life was in 2017, and I lost my home in the Tubbs wildfire. And that really was the pivotal moment wake up call in my life that caused me to take the path of learning about emotions and learning how to deal with emotion. Yeah, that's pretty amazing. Now, you kind of always had a struggle all through your life with value, self-value, self-worth. Yes, I did. And it was really drilled in by the men in my life who kind of decided that they needed to keep me in this box of not worthy. And so it wasn't until the fire that I

say that that was the first time in my life that I acted in self-love by questioning my life and saying, is this the life I want to keep living? Because if it can change in an instant, then maybe I can change it for the better. Right. And so I jumped off that cliff. Absolutely. And left behind a 32-year marriage. I did. Yeah. And no marriage is all good or all bad, but it was a toxic relationship because when I was a kid, I took on, I learned that rage was something no one should experience. I ended up being in judgment of people who were angry. And my former husband was raised, he had a toxic childhood. And what he learned is the loudest wins. So he brought anger and loudness into our relationship, and I judged it. And so it was not an ideal relationship. Right.

I'm starting to think, is that our issue, Rebecca? I'm the loud one and you're more reserved? We needed Angela to tell us this. I think the world knew that already. Well, before we go further, I want to talk about this hair of yours. Before we go any further. I wish I was much lighter haired so that I could do something like that. Well, yeah.

Someday you'll get old enough to go gray. And then you can then think. And my husband just said to me the other day, and I'm still trying to get over it. He said, just embrace the gray, basically. I'm only 43. And I feel like him saying that is like, I don't think he said nothing wrong. No, that's just not okay. It's not okay for him to say that I should just embrace the gray at 43. Let me jump in a little. So what he was saying is embrace who you are and don't try to mask it. And your reaction is like, OK, but I'm not ready to to be that. And and you know what?

It's OK to be both ways. Right. And, and you know what, it's okay to be both ways, right? It's okay for him to want you to be wholly who you are. And it's okay for you to say, I'm not ready to step into that space. Because I dyed my hair for 30 some years. And well, I mean, you could technically say it still dyed. it's all gray except for the pink parts and i know that you owe him an apology for being mad at him i don't think it's all that far i'm also going to say that everyone has a right to being mad and everyone has a right to positively express that anger okay and fine so now so now um you kind of went on this healing journey you traveled a lot of places and that's kind of like a common thing a lot of guests on our show they they kind of had kind of the same story as far as that's how their healing journey started. It was by traveling to different places and experiencing different things. And I'm like, I don't know if I comfort sound not only emotionally or physically, it's just like breaking out completely.

But also for me, it was a little bit about I felt like I wasn't living life. I felt like I was going through the motions and I wasn't living the life that I really wanted, which I then found out I didn't really want that. What I did is I joined Mindvalley and I went to some Mindvalley events, which they say it's TED Talk during the day and party at night. And it was really living big at night. And I did that three or four times. And then I was like, okay, I've done that. I don't need to, you know, stay up all night dancing. It's fun to go dancing, but I don't need to do that. And so that was a period that I needed to go through to have that experience in order to feel like I had that, you know, that living. Now, this feeling like you weren't living the way you wanted to, is that something you kind of had your whole life? I think so. Yeah.

I don't I don't think that I had it as strong as a child as I did in my marriage. Because in my marriage, I did not allow myself to be me. I tried to be the person he wanted me to be. And that's a hard thing to do. It's much better when we can be ourselves. Are those the sorts of feelings that inspired the character in your book, Bella Santini? That's such a great question because it wasn't until I was done with book two that I realized that a lot of these situations in the book are kind of allegories for things I went through in my life. And another podcaster had asked me, you know, are you Bella Santini?

And I was like, well, there's a little piece of me in her. But there's also Shabona, who is the character who can't quite get anything right. And her magic is corrupted. So she does a spell and it comes out the opposite way it's supposed to. And you never know what's going to happen when Shibona starts doing magic. But she doesn't take that in and it doesn't, it doesn't change who she knows she is. She's like, well, that's a temporary circumstance and I'm going to someday get out of that circumstance. But I know who I am and she stands strong in her being. And that I think

is who I identify with now. And that's what I was going to ask. Is it two different parts of who you were? Like, this is who I was before the healing. This is who I was after the healing. Yeah. And I think a lot of girls in that age group probably would identify with that. I think so. And so, you know, schools, the way schools teach is like there's right and there's wrong and there's this way to do something. And if you do it some other way, it's not right. Right. And so schools teach failure. We were talking about that with Simon Says.

I didn't mean to cut you off, but we were just having this conversation about Simon Says. You know, Simon Says do this. Simon Says do that. Put your hand up. Oh, Simon didn't say, you know, now you're out the game. But it's like, failure. Yeah, it's crazy. But basically, I believe that there is no such thing as failure. There are steps in your path towards learning how to do whatever you're going to do. And those steps are very important. And if you take one of those steps and say, I'm a failure, then you're going to stop and you're not going to keep trying.

But if you say, all right, that was a step backward and I've learned now that I can't approach it from this direction, then you're prepared to take the next step and do more. How long did it take you to believe this concept? And also, what was the journey like? And so the journey in my former marriage, there were very few things I could do right. And it came down to how I swept the kitchen floor or how high the fire was when I was cooking food. So the flame height. And that was just a measure of the control that was brought into the marriage by my former husband, there are no mistakes. And so I just, I don't look at that part of my life as a mistake. It was what brought me to these understandings. Oh, I'm sorry, Rebecca, you look like you just wanted to ask something. Well, I was, but it wasn't like, I didn't want it to sound like my question has more to do with parenting.

So I was listening, but I didn't want you to think that because I was changing the subject. Anyway. No, it's important to talk about parenting. So I'd love to hear your question. Yeah. You mentioned parenting by default. And when I read that, my initial thought, because I have three children, my initial thought was, huh, because what does that mean? What exactly does that mean? Because I tried to think of what it could mean, but I'm not sure I do. I'm glad you asked.

So most parents will either parent exactly how their parents parented, as if their parents had gone to school to learn how to parent, which they didn't. And the other opposite reaction, which is also a default, is to do the opposite of what the parents did. So if you were raised by an angry, controlling father, you might default to being very, not neglectful, but you just give everything and you're overgiving. And in the spectrum of parenting, both sides bring negative results for the kids. But if you can be in the middle where you have high nurturing and high boundaries, then you're giving the child everything they need to really thrive. Yeah, I had a difficult time. Actually, I've never really talked about this portion of my life on the podcast, but I had divorced my first husband when my children were younger. And my three children were, my youngest was four.

And it was my decision to divorce. My children, as they grew older, became more and increasingly upset with more so me because their dad was farther away from us, and so, you know, our lives are really separate. So they kind of, I could feel their resentment or their frustration toward me so i think unconsciously at first i was kind of compensating or trying to make their lives easier or i don't know make up for this change in their lives by doing that. Understandably. Yeah.

I make concessions for, hey, let's have ice cream for dinner kind of thing. You know, I don't know. That's always fun. Yeah. I don't know.

Just trying to make them happy in other ways. And I created a monster inadvertently, but. Or three monsters. Yeah, or three. No, no, I have great kids. I have great kids. I just wanted to point that out too. They're going to watch this and they're old enough now that

they can kick my butt. So yeah. It's normal when you're leading up a family for especially the one who initiated it, to want to compensate for the kids. But no one is ever responsible for the happiness of anyone else. We are all self-responsible for our happiness. And so, you know, I get it why you did what you did. You were trying to make it easier for them. And if I was around when you were doing it, and I had the wisdom that I have now, I might have took you aside and said, you know, talk to them about their feelings. Let them express their feelings. Give them positive ways. There's a lot of feelings around a family splitting up, so give them positive ways for expressing their feeling, like going for a run or painting a picture or writing everything down and then burning that paper. Or, you know, there's so

many ways. Punching a pillow was an excellent way to get those feelings out uh we're all in control or in charge of our own emotion or our own happiness i think it's right yeah so i think that's a concept i hate to call it concepts because i feel like using the word concept minimizes things so i guess i should say belief i think that's a belief that will be hard to believe in. Well, I think it's hard for me with my children being that young. It would have been harder for me to believe that they would be in charge of their own happiness at that age. Well, yeah, if you think about it, it's a choice. Right. So I am choosing to be unhappy over this circumstance.

And it's not necessarily a conscious choice. It just happens. But it is a choice. And at some level, we can all shift our perspective in order to look at something in a different way and make a different choice. That was really outlined for me in the wildfire because my whole book club, 10 out of 12 women lost their house that night. And yeah, well, there were 5,000 homes destroyed overnight. So it was a big deal. Yeah. Some of the people would, basically, they would look at the circumstance and decide that their life was ruined and they needed to get exactly back to where they were.

So rebuild the exact house in the exact way it was on the exact lot. But change is inevitable. And so there was no way you could return because your neighbor might decide to move, right? So it's not going to be exactly the same. And there are other people who looked at it like, okay, well, now I have the insurance money and I can decide to go somewhere else. Because maybe I didn't think I could afford to go somewhere else before, but now I this settlement so maybe i can move to england is that what you did that's why i did it among the other things right i know it's like you where do you live now taos new mexico taos new mexico i drive a taos so that just sounds best. And I need to go to New Jersey.

So I had like 86 good questions and they all magically left. Magic. I wanted to talk about magic. Yes, magic is a good topic. We can talk about magic. Yeah, because magic is one of those things that I, it's one of my favorite topics, but I think you incorporating that into your books would definitely be one of those elements that draws that age group. Absolutely. Little girl, especially, in my opinion, believes in magic, you know, that that's just how the world should be so i love that that element is yeah and it is actually that way if you can open your heart to it so when you look through the eyes of a child and you see the wonder of that flower that's growing up in the sidewalk or the sunset over the water, and you're just like, you're seeing it from this sense of true beauty that is magical.

Right. Yeah. So magic does exist. I got a question, and it may be weird, right? But we about to, I don't know. You write fairy tales that are cool. Rebecca's like, oh, look. No, because to me, I think we were kind of having this conversation the other day, right?

Because it's like magic. We talk about magic and we have that conversation whether magic is real or not. But I go back and I think about Santa Claus. I wish my parents would have never told me there was a Santa Claus, there was a two fairy, because I believe in magic only to find out that it didn't exist in the way that I was taught. So now where sometimes I feel like I see the magic in things, I don't believe it.

You know, so it's like it's yeah, it's like it's unbelievable to me. You know, it's like I can see it, but it's still unbelievable. Like, I don't believe it. So that's like my issue. But I know it comes from hearing all these magical stories. And, you know, there really wasn't no miracle on 34th Street. You know what I'm saying? You know how many times I went to 34th Street? Well, OK. So what do I know? But what do you think that that can have something to do with? I know it's such a random thing, okay. So what do you, I know, but what do you, does you think that that can have something to do with?

I know it's such a random thing, but. I think that can have something to do with it, but also it's just the heavy energy of reality that we all deal with. You know, how many times do we get caught up in the schedule, the work, the things we do, and we don't see those magical things? And so it's kind of like if we can open our hearts, and what I teach children is that they are the magic. Right. Because the love they carry in their heart

is the magic that will make the world a better place. And I love how you put magic and love. Yeah, kind of. Like I said, I'm a believer, but it's still unbelievable. You know what I'm saying? But I, too, think this world needs more love and magic. Yeah, for sure. Totally agree.

You also work with parents, right? You also work with parents and helping them to work with their kids? Yeah. So each of my books has a parent's guide that will teach parents about the concepts that are in the books. Because, frankly, none of us learned about feelings when we were, you know, going into parenting school. That non-existent thing. Right. So basically, each book has a parent's guide. And then I realized that, oh, boy, you know, a lot of these concepts are harder for parents to understand because they're carrying all those burdens of the repressed feelings and the beliefs

and understandings from their parents. And so I created an online conscious parenting course that teaches basically what is called gentle parenting. And it's like that middle of the road where I love my kids to death or to life, as my husband says, or Micah says to. And I have rules that I'm going to teach them so that we all can live in a way in harmony. Because the kind of parenting where there's no rules, even if there's high amount of love, has poor outcomes for children. Because children need the structure to feel secure. So did you just give up on adults and felt like this was something that you couldn't teach adults? Because I feel like this is the lesson I need to learn, you know?

So no, I didn't give up on adults. I included them in my fairy tales by giving them tools. And my book, I was talking to someone just like 20 minutes ago, and she said, you should say your books are for 8 to 80 instead of 8 to 14. Yeah, a lot of this stuff in my books, people just were never taught. Do you think it's hard for an adult to break habits? Or do you think in teaching kids, they eventually will learn on themselves? I think that it's a little bit harder. You know, there's what I say is when we repress emotions, it's like we have this backpack on our back and we start filling it with the rocks, and we carry those rocks around. And so a lot of parents have this heavy load of emotions that

they never learned how to express, and it's harder for them to truly grasp. Like There's one exercise I teach about feeling, and it's 90 seconds. So the biology, biochemistry of a feeling going through your body is 90. And if you think about all the people who spend money and time and effort trying to avoid feelings when if they gave it 90 seconds, it could go away. So this process, because our minds are filled with thoughts that will keep our feelings stretched out and keep us feeling those feelings, Those thoughts are like, I don't want to feel this way. Or he did that to me. Or I hate that this happened. And those kind of thoughts keep that feeling going. So you need to disconnect your mind. And how you do that is putting your entire mind focusing on the feeling. So you're like, what does it feel like? Where is it in my body?

What color is it? Is it like this big black ball or this sparky purple point? And so you describe it, you name it, and then you give yourself permission to feel it. And the biggest part of it is giving yourself the permission. Yeah. I was talking to when I said, give yourself permission to feel. And he almost came to tears because he was like, I never knew that. It's that self-love we talk about. Yeah.

That love space, putting some magic in your life. I also saw that you do, like you do speaks about emotions and so forth. I don't know if they're seminars or whatever they are considered, but one particular topic came blaring out at me was bullying. Yeah. Yeah. That was one of the, that was the very first topic we podcasted about here together on season 2.5. And that is probably a topic that will hold near and dear to our hearts because our producer's daughter was experiencing some bullying. So what are your thoughts? Whatever you can tell us about bullying.

So what I write about bullying is that hurt people hurt people. And so understanding when a child cannot, when they're being attacked by their parent or they're being subjected to cruel things, they do not have the ability to stand up for themselves and they don't have the ability to speak out about what's happening. And so they end up repressing the memory and the feeling. But according to Dr. Alice Miller, who wrote the book, Feelings or The Body Never Lies, feelings either attack inward or they attack outward. So there's no such thing as repressing a feeling. There is only either having it attack inward or outward. And so what bullies are, are people who have repressed

feelings and they're attacking outward. And my answer to that is to love them. Because so many people are in opposition and pushing away and rejecting that bully when we can approach them from a heart space and say, wow, what happened to you? Because that is going to open up a possible conversation, not, wow, why do you say that? Or why are you so mean? Or why, you know, those are attacks and not love. It's really important. Another aspect of that is, um, bully's words only hurt us if they match the energy of childhood wounding. And so if we can heal and allow those emotions from those childhood wounding to flow, then there is no energetic match. So if someone called you a tomato, would you have a huge response to that? Probably not.

But if someone called you a bit. I thought it was cool. I like the color red. That was my thought process first. I was like, okay. But if someone called you a bitch, then you might respond and react to that. We only react when we have inner wounds that match that. And so it's, you know, maybe in your teen years, someone called you that and it made you feel really bad. And so that energy is still stuck within you. So anytime anyone says that, you're going to be reactive.

Do you think it could be the intention behind what you thought it was? And I say that because i call rebecca a bitch all day long it's just my love language right but look but let somebody else call her a bitch and you know i'm saying right you're gonna be wrong on that when you were saying that i was like i wonder if is that we think about the intention like what we feel they meant when they said it that's why that's so funny because yeah the energy behind the words right because i can say i love you and you feel the energy that isn't love and so or you get wet a little bit like i did no i'm just

i put the fuck in feelings. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's the hair. This just took a weird turn. Okay, focus. The energy behind the words. So, you know, my former husband would always tell me really mean things and his energy was there.

But then he would tell me that i took it wrong and we can always tell by the energy behind the words so if a friend comes to me and says hey bitch what i'm gonna be like hey you know nothing's wrong with that right but if if someone is coming at me with a rage and saying that word it's's probably going to bring up something in me. Right. Yeah. And so now, of course, we don't have no kids between the age of eight and 16 watching us. And I guess I will I will want to say I am on my healing journey.

Right. But we have this boss, Rebecca and I, we love each other so much. We do the same day job and the same night job but um so we have this boss and he always says uh you know you you every day you can choose to be happy and my initial reaction is like this corny mother you know like he always saying he so he was like every day i tell my daughters today you could choose to be happy and i'm like corny as shit but then it is like three weeks later and i'm like well i guess you really can't choose to be happy but so what i'm trying to say there are people that are probably

watching us right now that are like this is some bullshit you know exactly yeah and when people i did a live stream this morning on yeah yeah, it was on, anyway, wherever it was, YouTube. I had these two women. It sounds like, wait, the snakes, the seminars, the whatever. Yeah. These two women have this process, which I call future casting. And when you have a big problem in your life and you're like, you have no idea how you're going to fix that one. But with future casting, you come in and you're like, hey, Micah, remember when I was broke and I didn't know how I was going to buy food? And then the next thing happened and all of a sudden my whole world changed and I was going to buy food. And then the next thing happened, and all of a sudden, my whole world changed, and I was able to buy food, and I was able to pay for everything.

And then Micah would jump in and say, yeah, I remember that. You were such a hole, and then the next day you were out of it. By all of us participating in that I remember game, we shift energy and we make, make, we bring in those kind of magical things that make our lives better. Right. So you guys need to bring in some magical things and buy Angela's books and give them to your kids. How many books do you have? Sorry, Rebecca asked, how many books do you have? Oh, I'm sorry. I have three out right now.

The fourth is in the building process. You have to get the illustrations. You have to do the editing. You have to have a copywriter. You have to have someone setting it up for book formatting. And yeah, a lot of stuff. all right no i just wrote a book i know what you're talking about but um okay i wanted to ask so if you want to know i really created this podcast for free therapy for myself right cool so i figured I was talking my therapist to death she was charging me too much

money I she needed to go really she quit on me that's a whole different story but whatever I needed a new therapist I said bam start a podcast so this question is for me right okay because each I don't know I feel like as our podcast grows you, last last season was about a safe space. And this season it was it's about, you know, your love space and and those kind of things. I'm kind of going through that in my healing journey. So last season was about sexual assault and kind of some of the abuse I went through. And now I'm OK with that and somehow was able to kind of move on where I really don't hate nobody no more. But now I'm having issues with beliefs, right? Because I started to realize that my biggest issue in my whole life is that I feel guilty about everything I do. It was kind of how it was programmed.

I tell Rebecca, it's really weird. I can write better than I can speak, right? So if I were to write what I'm trying to say to you right now, you will be like, OK, that makes sense. I might be confused a little bit, but it's just because I had to like dumb down my outsideness being abused for so many years, but somehow learn how to live inside. So I feel like inside I'm smarter than I'm outside. Anyway, it's a whole thing. We're getting there. OK. Like, oh, my God, I don't know what to do with you believe it or not all of that made sense okay yeah and because and you know i i don't often talk about it but i was sexually abused too and so it's it's like you have to go inside and create this magical place where you're safe right your whole world isn't safe. Yeah. always told me or like a way people got me to convince. We didn't grow up like an overly religious house, but we were kind of Catholic. But we also grew up in a Puerto Rican neighborhood

in New York where everybody else was Catholic. So even though my mom didn't preach the Bible to me, I heard about God and Jesus a lot, you know, and Spanish people can be really, really harsh to a feminine little boy because it's hard to be gay. You can't be gay. Being gay was a sin and this, that, and other things. So I grew up my whole life just thinking sin. Everything I did was a sin. Where now I'm at a pretty good place in my life, but I'm struggling with allowing myself to be happy because a lot of people around me are so sad and miserable. So it's like, I shouldn't go out and celebrate because, you know, my mom is sick and she's in pain

or because, you know, my brother and his wife are fighting. And maybe when this interview plays, if you pass all that and they won't be mad that I told their business, but whatever. So it's, and I'm feeling like it's it goes back to sin i think everything is a sin everything i do is a sin and so i feel guilty you know it's like i overly give you mentioned that earlier it's like i overly give because i feel like if i have it you know i work really hard i don't have and i'm not married right which means all my money i spend on myself so this fabulous jacket is one of like

30 in every color you know and talk about shoes and i call the deal one okay okay i like that because of that it's like i like i feel guilty so now so-and-so needs money and they asked for it and i give it to him because i feel like all i'm gonna do is go buy another jack right she was like can you send secret rail my way and let her sprinkle some of her fairy dust because that's it's like i need to get rid of guilt i feel like that's the final ending to me really being able to really heal is to get rid of guilt. Another part of guilt is shame. And shame. Yeah.

And they come, they're like so enmeshed together. I know that the best way to get rid of shame is to share what you are ashamed about with someone else. Because guilt and shame can only live in the dark. And when they're brought to light, they cannot exist. So I was, do you guys know who Preston Smiles is? Have you ever heard of him? No.

Okay. Now you make it look like I should. He's just a health development guy. He, you know, he's, he's a great guy. At one of his events that I went to, he had us in a group of 12 people and we were each supposed to seek our deepest shame in this group. And it was a brilliant exercise because once you speak that shame, it has no hold on you because it's already out. So what do you have to be ashamed about? Well, I think that if you watch the episodes of the podcast, you'll know. She's an open book. I am a legit open book.

Like, oh, my God, I'm like this. This book is like this. A customer asked me why I wasn't available and I told them because I overslept. Okay. It didn't go through well with corporate offices. You know, that wasn't available and I told them because I overslept. Okay. It didn't go through well with corporate offices. You know, that wasn't the answer that you were supposed to give, but it was the truth. I believe we all need to live on our truth, not someone else's truth, our truth. Right. Okay. And I think that's my lesson or my takeaway from this is to start living all my truth because other people are sad. And, you know, it doesn't mean I have to be because I kind of determine my happiness, like you said,

and they need to start determining theirs. Right. And so you're making the choice to not indulge in your happiness because they're unhappy. Right. And how does you being unhappy while they're unhappy help them? Right. We got somewhere and you taught me something. That's your takeaway, Micah, right there. I'm going to read the children's version first and then read the parent's guide. And I'm going to let you know what I think. Not that it matters, but maybe it'll matter. The parent's guide is actually part of the books.

So like you read to the end of the book and there's the book club questions and then there's the parent guide. So they don't have to go out and buy a whole nother book. It's all there. Okay. Now we want all your books, but we want an autograph. So we're going to have to figure out, we don't mind paying for them, but I want an autograph. So we got to figure out a way to make that happen.

OK, yeah. So you just have them sent to me. I'll autograph them. Give me your address. I'll send them. I'll even send you the label. And we're good shipping to Mexico. We're good logistics.

That is what we do. But we definitely will list all of your contact information below all the links to your books. And I know that you do, like you said, you do things on YouTube. That was something I didn't discover until later on today. And I was like, oh my gosh, you got all these great videos. Makes sense. So let's go watch those great videos. But I want to ask because I'm crazy and Rebecca hasn't learned how to wrangle me in yet. I want to make sure that there was nothing. Shut up, it's possible, okay?

Don't give up on me. Okay. Is there anything that you wanted to say or give to our audience that we didn't give you an opportunity to say? Yeah. So it's important that you give yourself grace because we weren't taught this stuff and I learned it all the hard way.

And you have the opportunity to learn it an easier way. But if you beat yourself up because you didn't do it right or you made a bad choice at some point in time, you're not helping anyone, and most especially not yourself. And I teach about forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't forgiving someone else. It's giving a gift to yourself because you're letting go of the burden of resentment. And when you can put that forgiveness on yourself, you're giving yourself grace. So forgive yourself for the things that maybe you did because you didn't know any better. Happens to all of us. Right. The best of us. The best of us, absolutely. I'm going to have you take that last 30 seconds there and cut that, slice it, whatever you got to do. And I'm going to make that a recording on my phone so that I can listen to her words every single day.

I think you wasn't supposed to tell her that because now you're going to get a bill. No. No, and I give a lot of stuff away. I think I need to hear those words every day. I'd be saying the same thing. I just throw in a couple of bitches and hoes. But you don't listen to me. But that's just what I'd be saying. I don't know what you're saying.

Great. I gave Angela my script okay you need to leave the bitches and hoes out but it's my love language okay it's what makes me happy and angela told me it is about my happiness and really we joke a, but everybody knows that I legit love everybody. That is something. Because like you say, it is magic. Almost to a fault. And I said that before. He loves everybody.

And it's almost to a fault. He loves everybody. Yeah, I legit do. I just have love for everybody. I will talk to everybody. I will give everybody my time. Because, I don't know, it just bothers me that people don't have magic in their life. You know?

Yeah. So, yeah. Of course, we're going to list all your contact information. Thank you so much for being on and dealing with me, my craziness. But it's something I pride myself in. You made it through. But you made our rule. And I know you're probably going to call your therapist afterwards. You can send me that bill. I don't have a therapist, actually. Yeah, which is pretty amazing.

We love you here. We absolutely love you. Hopefully, when the next book comes back, we can have you back on. I would love that. You guys are so much fun. And yeah, that would be amazing. All right, cool. Well, thank you guys for watching cs3 is starting

off really really well and we will see you next week and with that we're wrapping up another episode of the fucking feelings podcast thank you all for tuning in and engaging in another intense and real discussion on understanding and navigating through our feelings. Don't forget, we're here each Wednesday bringing you brand new episodes filled with stories, advice, and perspectives to help you handle those fucking feelings. So set a reminder on your calendar, grab your headphones and join us every week. And if you're interested in exploring more ways to deal with life stresses, make certain to tune into our sister podcast. Drama is expensive. Dive deep into discussions on managing trauma, building resilience and fostering healing

with new episodes dropping every Monday. Make sure to subscribe, rate, and comment on both podcasts on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, each comment and rating can catapult us further towards reaching those individuals who could really use our discussions. Your feedback is invaluable. Before we close, we want to remind you that discussing feelings is never a sign of weakness, but a display of courage. Stay brave, stay strong, and keep feeling those fucking feelings. Until next week, take care and keep the conversation going.