These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Harmonies of the Soul: Lucas's Journey through Mental Health and Music | Season 2.5 Ep. 116

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

Send us a Text Message.Welcome to Harmonies of the Soul, an intimate and soul-baring episode of These Fukken Feelings Podcast. In this heartfelt installment, we sit down with the exceptionally talented singer-songwriter, Lucas, for a candid conversation about his emotional journey through mental health.In the first part of the episode, Lucas opens up about his personal struggles and the pivotal moment when he realized it was time to prioritize his mental well-being. Through candid reflections...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now. Podcast, I am Micah. Got my co-host Rebecca over here.

And with us today is Lucas Treptow. Am I saying it right? You got it. Nailed it. Cool. So Lucas, we believe that no one can sell you like you can sell you. So we want you to go ahead and tell our audience a little bit about yourself. Yeah, sure. First off, thanks so much for having me on. I really appreciate the opportunity to be here. Yeah, so my name is Lucas Treptow and you totally nailed the name. A lot of times people say Treptow instead of Treptow, but it is tow like tow truck.

So I am a musician and an entrepreneur and have kind of been a renegade creator my whole life, especially since COVID is really when all of my personal projects really kind of took off. I started a marketing agency and an apparel brand and started playing music. Right around 2020, I'll kind of as COVID projects. And then those had developed into kind of my full-time life, I guess. And so it started off, I was bartending and doing everything on the side. And now I still am working at a restaurant a couple shifts a week, but it's kind of flipped the opposite way.

Instead of working full-time in a restaurant and doing everything else as a passion project, it's now my passion project has become my full-time income. And then I work at a restaurant just for some stability. And so I can keep growing the things that I want to, which has been really cool. And so the things that I'm most passionate about and why I want to talk on this podcast is kind of telling my story of starting out with some ideas and turning things into reality. And just kind of the journey of that and how much joy that's brought to my life and how I hope that for other people listening to kind of chase their dreams and follow their passions and turn them into a lifestyle for themselves. So that's probably the best off-the-cuff answer I got. Oh, it was a really good one. I feel like it's the end of the podcast.

Thank you guys for watching. Yeah, that's great. So now you're in Montana, right? I am in Montana. So you said you had to go to the cabin. So you don't got Wi-Fi everywhere in Montana? Yeah. Yeah, so I live in a

pretty small uh kind of a resort town um not quite as as big as like a Big Sky or you know some of those bigger resort areas in Montana but I'm in a small town called Red Lodge Montana um I do have wi-fi at my apartment but it's just it's just not very good so I came out to my family cabin which is out in uh more out more in the mountains and kind of more of my happy place. So I figured it would be a little bit more suitable for this interview. And then surprisingly, being in a more remote area,

stronger Wi-Fi, however that works. I don't know. Tell me how amazing it is to live in Montana. I've always kind of wondered what it's like out there. Tell me, tell me, tell me. Oh gosh, living in Montana is terrible. always kind of wondered what it's like out there. Tell me, tell me, tell me. Oh gosh, living in Montana is terrible. No one should move here. No, I'm kidding. It's just one of those like best kept secrets that I want to stay a secret. No, it's amazing. I mean, my grandpa retired out here in the eighties. And so I've been coming out here my whole life.

And as long as I can remember, it's always been my happy place and i mean just having the mountains to be surrounded by i mean like the song wide open spaces uh really kind of captures it the best like there's really uh nothing like it for you know for your soul for your you know mental clarity just being surrounded by beauty you know in a 360 degree view it's just unbelievable right um yeah and there's, I mean, so much outdoor recreation. And like, I had my first taste of skiing in a ski town this winter where I'd have meetings throughout the day. And if I had a two hour break, I'm like, oh, I'm going to go get a couple of runs in on the ski hill and then come back for my 11 o'clock

Zoom call. You know, like that is just such a foreign life to me. How hard is it to ski, right? So my birthday is like in january and i always wanted to go skiing but i don't have hand-eye coordination okay you don't need hand-eye coordination you just might fall more than anyone else but it'll still be fun and it'll be fun for me to watch i feel like i'm gonna break every freaking bone in my body now i want to do the mobiling, like snowmobiling. Oh, yeah. Mobiling. Did he just say that? Is that not what it's called?

Snowmobiling, yeah. You said mobiling, didn't you? No, snow. I know, but first. First you said mobiling. Yeah, I like it. I think I can catch on. All right. We just invented a new thing.

Oh, yeah. So now you're also an artist and you sing and you write your own song correct yeah yeah i'm a singer songwriter um i don't have anything out on spotify currently although that is in the works i've got an ep on soundcloud and then i play um live uh you know all over the state of music something you always wanted to do it is yeah yeah music has been kind of the backbone of my um of me as a person i guess kind of just in my core and since i was a kid we had a grand piano in our living room and i never was classically trained or anything but i took a few piano lessons like every every kid does you know things that your parents sign you up for. But I just would find myself often sitting at the keys

and just kind of playing, finding chord structures and just these melodies kind of encapsulated in my brain. It's just kind of where I've learned to process and process my emotions and my thoughts. Writing music has always been something I wanted to do. And then it wasn't until I picked up a guitar and started actually trying to write music that I actually made an effort to do it. And it's been one of the coolest things that I've done and one of the things I'm definitely most proud of. That's pretty cool.

So how long have you been doing it now? I've been playing guitar for three years now. I grew up as a percussionist. so I joined band in eighth grade. And I actually wanted to play saxophone, but the band director was like, oh, we've already got too many saxophone players, so want to play drums? And I was like, sure. And it turned out I loved it. Drums are badass.

Drums are awesome, yeah. So I was in drum line and concert band. They did all that kind of stuff. And then I was going to go to school for a four percussion performance at the University of Montana and gotten a little bit of a scholarship to go. And then last minute decided I was signing up for classes and I had to like sign up for two years of a language and trigonometry and all this stuff. And I'm like, I just want to play drums and learn how to fly fish in the mountains.

I don't want to do all this stuff. I don't got time for this new math. Right, right. So I decided not to go to college and kind of put the music aside for a while. Then it wasn't until three, four years ago that I picked up a guitar. And that's where I kind of refound and rekindled that passion now what was it about three years ago i guess you said the pandemic but was that kind of like did you need something to keep your mind busy and that allowed you to pick it up again yeah yeah it was it was actually right before

covid that it started um i had just moved back home from uh Minneapolis I'm from Wisconsin I grew up in Milwaukee and um I moved back home from Minneapolis and kind of I started a business right out of high school and kind of had given up on that moved back home was living in my parents basement and like just kind of in a place where I'm like I have no idea what the hell I'm gonna do with my life and I was walking through a music. I kind of was like trying to do anything and everything to like get back to my like 17 year old excitement, you know? So I was like, what did I do then to like bring me joy? And I was like, oh, I would just go to the music store and play for hours. So I was like, just like in this weird state of like depressed and anxious and really

having no purpose and like so I would just do these kinds of things that I used to do when I was in high school that that fueled me and like one of the times I'm walking through this music store and I see a guitar hanging on the wall for a hundred bucks and I was like I had a hundred dollars in my pocket and I bought it and I was like I had no idea what I was thinking or why I did it but that night I sat down and just like learned a couple of chords and I was like yes this is this is what I've been missing and um and just having that like outlet became became really big for me so nice that's pretty cool have you been writing music for years or have you just started doing that that also just started kind of along the same lines.

What did I learn first? I learned Riptide by Vance Joy. That was the first song I learned. And then other than that, I didn't learn any other covers. I just started writing music. And so that was really cool. It all kind of started at once, learning how to play guitar, which I still don't really know how to do very well.

And and then started writing stuff. And so now I actually have a funny guitar story. Right. When I was younger, like a little kid, I wanted to play the guitar, too. I was very musical also. And I used to be able to sing. I was like the male Whitney Houston. I bet he was. But we lived in New York City at the time and my mom bought me a guitar. And then the guy that she hired to teach me only spoke Spanish. I don't speak Spanish.

So I think we made it through three lessons and then that's pretty good actually my cousins decided that they were going to play baseball with my guitar and a football so we just going to say that my guitar didn't make it very far

ended up with a big hole in it so that's why the lessons ended not because you couldn't speak spanish um well really i understand spanish but it was still hard to learn you know but yeah it officially ended when i no longer had a guitar when they decided to just destroy it or whatever so now when how did you know you were depressed like what was it that made you um like saying hey i'm depressed yeah it's a good question and i think it's hard to really answer um i mean i think without realizing it i had battled depression my entire life you know i shouldn't I had battled depression my entire life.

You know, I shouldn't say I shouldn't say my entire life. When I was like early teenage years, my family had gone through some things that were really disruptive and somewhat traumatic for me. And I think like as a coping mechanism, like I just tried to like numb a lot of that and like forget it. And and, you know, I didn't realize this until, you know, much later in life, but, but looking back, I think like that kind of became a habitual like cycle for me to just fall back into this state of numbness as soon as something triggered me that was painful or like reminded me of these feelings or emotions these fucking feelings right you know they come back and you're like and it can be really easy to just like run from that and and I realized kind of in that same timeline that I started to

you know do a lot of things to just try to numb the pain or whether that was, whether that was drinking or, um, you know, like burying myself into projects or work or whatever, you know, anything, you know, there's a lot of vices out there. And, and like, for me, when I did have struggles with alcohol, like I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't alcohol. That was the problem. It was something that I'm running from, you know, and it's just like, whatever it is that I can get my hands on, I will use it to numb the pain, you know? And, and so I think it was just in that time, just through a lot of introspection, spending a lot more time by myself and then

having good conversations with people that care about me and that I care about that I felt safe to be able to like talk about things and have another person's perspective to point things out of like, Hey man, like you're acting different. Is everything okay? You know? And I'm like, Oh shit. I guess I never really asked myself that. No, I'm not okay. You know, like, and then like being, and then having those kinds of relationships that I could talk about it openly was, you know, I think where I found that out. I remember specifically I was talking with a friend once and I didn't even know you know you throw around the term anxiety all the time and you hear it talk about it everywhere but i never it never became a personal thing for me it was never like oh that's anxiety like i have anxiety oh my goodness like we just talk about

it like it's a thing but I experience it on a daily basis. And this is what it looks like. And, oh, gosh, like that's me, you know. And it was kind of through a conversation I remember specifically with a friend of mine. And it kind of all stemmed from there. And then I started to see a therapist. And that was an interesting interesting process and then since over the last year now i've been working with a with a health coach that kind of crosses over a lot

of things between personal health business health and financial health and he's he's been really helpful and like just helping me talk through things to to figure things out because i think like these mental health issues or mental health topics really, I mean, they spread into every area of your life, you know? And, and so it's been really helpful to just have other people that give a shit about me that ask the tough questions to make me open up. And I realized things that I maybe wouldn't have on my own. Right. One thing that you said that I thought was really, really cool was you said when you was depressed and anxious and kind of, you know,

wanted to go back to your 17 year old self and do some of the things, but it sounds like you went back. You wanted to go back to do things that gave you joy. And I feel like it's really, really dope because we get asked a lot. We talk about safe places a lot here or a safe person. And there are some people who just doesn't, they don't have it. They just don't have a person or they don't have a place that they

can go to feel safe. And people always ask me and I'd say, Hey, I'm just an advocate. I'm no professional, you know, but we get a lot of messages. And that's one thing. What do you do when you don't have your safe place? And I feel like you just answered that question. You go to a time where you were joyful or you had joy. And it's pretty cool that you were able to do that. Yeah, that's really dope. To find a way to do that or even knew to do that. So that's pretty cool. Yeah. So you taught us something today. Okay. We see you, Lucas. Thanks. That's a tip for anybody out there. It happened a little bit. Yeah. Well, I think it kind of happened for me unintentionally,

you know, where just going back home triggered a lot of things for me. So like the first five years that I was out of high school, like I really distanced myself from home because there was a lot of things with that that were triggering or painful or whatever and I think it was in going back home for more than just a weekend to visit my family you know that I and again living in my mom's basement like it just brings back a lot of

things I'm like man I haven't been here since I was 17 so it was kind of like naturally that just kind of happened it wasn't necessarily something that I was like, oh, I'm going to go live in my mom's basement and try to get back to my 17 year old self again, find direction. You know, it was like, it was more of that just was my life circumstances that happened. And then all of a sudden I'm there and I'm like, oh yeah, like my current like way of life was built in a different place and now that i'm back here i'm remembering all these things i used to do and that was what you know brought me joy and i'm going to do that again and then i realized afterwards like what i was actually doing you know but yeah it was certainly uh certainly a uh a period of you know there was a lot of ups and downs in that for sure not to make it sound like every day was a roller coaster. Well, it was not. Every day was a roller coaster and it wasn't always the fun parts.

It was sometimes terrifying. I have one bad day a month. I allow myself one. Okay. So. That's good. You're better than most of us, I think. Every other day I'm really cool. But one bad day, that's a bad day is really a bad day.

And if somebody has that kind of self-control and is able to allow themselves to have one bad day a month, then we got to know his secret. Right. Totally. Yeah. I live in the moment. I'm alive alive and that is a great start for me you know the fact that i get to make choices now and these choices that i make throughout the day are going to help determine what kind of day i'm going to have and it's so corny we have a boss who always says like every day you can wake up and decide to be happy and i'm like oh you're a little corny motherfucker like but when you think about it you like but she's probably gonna watch this episode so you know i wasn't talking about you boss some of the other balls different but but it's true like you could kind of those are things that you can choose of course you have to be in a circumstance

to that allows for that to happen but when when you are there, and to me, I feel like that's a safe place. When you are in your safe place, then yeah, you kind of need to continue to choose. So what you're saying is every morning you wake up, your first thought is of our boss. You choose to be happy. That's your first thought? My first thought, I am beautiful. Oh, okay. I wake up, I look in the mirror, and I be like, damn, you fine. Oh, all right. All right. I like that.

And I had to remind myself, Lucas, like, I didn't even brush my teeth yet. You fine with yuck mouth. Could you, like, at least brush your teeth? So, okay, sorry. Bug tried to attack me. No, he doesn't like bugs. Oh, Lord. So, yeah, it wasn't pterodactyl, technically. So, yeah, it was pterodactyl.

So now therapy, how long have you been doing therapy? Did you say that? Well, formal therapy, I only did that for, I think it was about three or four months. What made you start therapy? It was actually from the recommendation of some friends um i think it was because i was just almost like too much of a burden on them and they could tell that i was i was uh i was like a lot of heavy things on my mind weighing me down that they like couldn't help me with and they were like dude like it's nice to talk about this and i'm glad that you come to me with this

but like you should seek professional help kind of thing. You know, like, dude, you're crazy. Like go get some help, you know? No, it's actually a really good friend of mine. Her name is Ling. Unfortunately, she, she passed away a few years ago and she was, she was instrumental in that for me. Like we would just meet up for coffee and have long conversations. And it was through her therapy process that I realized how helpful it was for her that I was like, you know what? Like I should give this a try myself, you know? Um, and it was just, we just happened to have a lot of parallels in thinking. And she kept giving me advice of what her therapist had told her. And I'm like, yeah, this therapist sounds pretty cool. I might need to get me one. You know?

Um, and so that's kind of what started it for me. And then I actually had not the greatest experience with the therapy that I went through. But it was, I think, partially just because I gave up quickly on trying to find the right person. Other people that I've known that have had really good success with therapy, they went through a lot of different therapists to find their person you know and and for me i just kind of tried one wasn't happy with it and gave up you know and it wasn't until i ended up meeting mike that again it's not formal therapy but it in a lot of ways he serves that role for me and uh and he's been you know so that's been over the last now year to year and a half that we've been working together. So still, I feel like I'm pretty new into it. Just getting started.

Definitely. Definitely. I mean, I figured when you said three months, I was like, oh, yeah, three months. He must have had a bad experience. I had that, too. I went to see a therapist when I was younger and he told me everything I was going through was my fault. OK, he clearly has never seen Good Will Hunting then. Right. And I was like, everything, everything you're going through is your fault. So, and I was 16 at the time. I'll never forget that. I was 16 years old. And I, I ended up being in a hospital with Guillain-Barre syndrome, which was like a disorder that paralyzes you from the neck down.

And, you know, kind of rare, but not too rare. People who got the flu shots kind of often got it. And I felt like I had to learn how to talk, learn how to walk and do all those things again. But it was during that time and they would have the therapist come see me every day. And he decided to tell me that I was in the hospital and sick because of things that I did. And I'm like, no, you know, I ended up being 16 and having an intrepid tantrum and cursed them out and threw my milk at them. But, um,

Good for you. You put a bad taste in my mouth about therapy. You know, now it's like people can never recommend therapy to me again so did you go through that were you at a point where you're like i'll never do this again or were you still open to it yeah i it's hard to say um at the time initially i was like never again i mean what my experience was, was my first session was basically we're talking about like, what are my intentions or what am I looking for? And I was like, look, I'm not looking for a diagnosis. I'm not like here for someone to tell me what's wrong with me.

I had a really bad experience being prescribed Adderall when I was in high school and it like really messed me up for a period. And so I was like, I don't want to take medication. I'm young enough and I know that most of the problems that I'm facing are, are, it's mental, you know, like I just need to think through things, talk through things and create new habits. And like, I believe that that's how I'm forward. And at some point, if I keep beating my head against the wall and I don't make progress, then sure. I'll, I'll think about, you know, if there's some stronger diagnosis that I need in medication. And then ultimately what ended up happening was after like two months, he's like, I really think you have bipolar disorder and need to take medication. And I'm like, okay, I appreciate that insight and something I'll take into consideration.

But also like can we approach this from a perspective of creating new habits and talking through the problems and not just like jumping to medication. And he just kept bringing up medication, medication, medication. And I was like, fuck you, dude. Like, this is not, this is not what I'm trying to do. You know, like I do that. Like I don't think that there's something inherently wrong with me. I think I just need to change my perspective on life, you know? And, and it was so at the time I was like, done, you know, this is stupid. Like psychiatrists are just trying to, they make money by selling drugs kind of thing. You know, it's like that was my perspective.

Right, right, right. And there's definitely nothing wrong with using pills. If you need them, you need them. Oh, absolutely. Just because you're trying to interpret everything nowadays. I just want to point that out. I kind of have a similar story. I didn't want pills either. I'm like, I do not want nothing that helps control how I feel. And you always got to keep looking for, I mean, not got to, but if you come across a bad experience with one therapist and you want to keep seeking therapy, that's one thing you just have to be willing to do until you find the right one. And if that's one thing I've learned through all of these episodes that we've,

you know, gone through and interviewed different professionals, I'm going to say they've encouraged that sort of thing for people to do. So, but I'm glad you're still talking to Mike, is it? Yeah. I'm glad you have Mike. Yeah. Shout out to Mike. I'm sure he's going to listen. I just, I just wanted to point out, it was very weird. Air quotes. Well, it's just, they're, they're not professional. They never claim to be.

Some of them are. Yeah. Like mental. Well, be. Some of them are. Yeah. Like mental. Well, yeah, some of them are. Yeah, some of them are. But not all of them. But basically our podcast falls on the basis that it doesn't matter what kind of help you get as long as you get help. You know, we're all struggling with something, you know, and it's like, and we need to admit that to ourselves and then find a way to deal with it. And if that's climbing a mountain, cool.

I'm going to wait down here and wait for you to get back. It's because of the box. So have you climbed a mountain? I know it's so random, but is that something you do? Is that like a hobby? It is kind of yeah actually just on friday i went up and and climbed up uh to pine creek lake it was pretty amazing it's a spot in livingston in paradise valley here in montana so it's a couple hours from where i'm at me and my buddy it's like a 10 mile hike five miles in at like 3 800 feet incline so's a steep hike up. Then you get up to the top

and there's six waterfalls and all these beautiful glacial lakes. It was straight out of a movie. I don't know if you've seen Land Before Time, but it felt like something like that. I'm going to tell you to send me some pictures. Yeah, I've got a bunch.

I'll gladly send you some. As you're walking up, a video or just keep your voice recording so that maybe you have some great lyrics you are coming up with a podcast though right you're creating a podcast yeah so i've been working on a podcast just basically since covid as well i've never released a single episode but it's called the beside me podcast uh named after the quote don't walk in front of me because I may not, don't walk in front of me, I may not follow, don't walk behind me, I may not lead, but walk beside me and let's walk as friends. And just about the idea of like, trying to say that I've got anything figured out in life. But

as I take on these new challenges and dig into finding myself and finding my passion for life, just join me on this journey. You know, so it's kind of been an excuse for me to have intentional conversations with people that I admire and respect and want to learn from. And it's like, it's funny that you can run into somebody and say, hey man, can I buy you a cup of coffee and talk? And they might be like, oh, that seems kind of weird.

But if I'm like, hey, you want to be on my podcast? They're like, sure. You know? Yeah,, sure. But actually, that's cool. I never actually walked up to a stranger like, hey, let's talk. But I think it happens because I feel like they always get me. See, I have this one rule, Lucas. If you want to have if you want to start talking to me, make sure that we're going to finish the conversation because I'm going to talk your head off. Give me the door. I swear he has a word limit he's got to hit every day.

Is it like I've got the step counter on my phone? Is it kind of like Siri's always listening? And it tells you like, hey, you're three quarters of the way. I go to sleep. I got to make one final phone call just to make sure I get all my. It's these alerts like you're almost nearing your end of the day. You have to speak. You know what?

Rebecca. You know what? I was one of those people who kind of grew up without a voice. And the worst thing that could ever happen was that I got it because now I will not shut the hell up. If it's wrong, I'm going to tell you it's wrong. If it's right, I'm going to tell you it's right. It's one thing you're never going to take away from Micah anymore is his voice. Yeah, you will not. You will not. Having a voice. Don't get me wrong. I love to hear it. No, but I mean, there's a lot of people out there and it's like that, you know, are just scared to say how they're feeling. You know, it's kind of people how are you and most of the time they say fine and it's like i know

it's not fine but then also people are like do they really care you know so it's like this world we live in that's because they don't have time to answer you that's really what it is that boils down to well people we need you to make time yeah lucas you agree we need to make time no and how cool man let's say like you at one point had no voice and like now you're using it to do something really cool i mean to put your voice out there like this is not easy and to record it and put out there and have high level conversations with people about things that matters it's pretty amazing i commend you for that a lot dude thank you and you'll get a lot of haters just you'll see when you start airing your episodes because i think you should do because maybe you will i mean in your first

minute you was already changing lives on this episode so you definitely should release no thanks man i will yeah i'll let you know when i do and i'd love to have you on definitely and we'll promote it and we'll help you out any way we can too um because you know you're doing the work and it's kind of cool to see and that's what's showing people like you're doing the work and it isn't it doesn't it feel good just to kind of like get to know you a little more completely yeah so what are some of your songs about oh she went that's a good question um i write really like therapeutically so it started out really as like um you know i just find some chords that that made sense and it would be like i'd be playing them and all of a sudden words

would come and then i would realize afterwards what the song was about it's very rarely something where i'm like i'm gonna write a song about a horse. I've never written a song about a horse, but it's never like a topic. Except for tonight. Tonight you're going to write a song about a horse tonight. Yeah, exactly. Tonight. And yeah, so a lot of it's about like, you know, my, you know, the first real song that i wrote was called call the wild and i realized through the process of writing it that it was like about exactly like what i mentioned earlier taking

time to go do the things that i loved again and i would start spending a lot more time in the woods um after taking five years off of doing any kind of hiking or backpacking and i just realized like how alive it made me and feel and how much clarity and perspective it gave me to my problems and things. And, and so the song was just kind of a, you know, the title references being out in the woods, the song doesn't necessarily relate to it at all, but, but just kind of about listening to that voice inside and following it. And like one of the lyrics is like, I can say that I'm deaf, but I know I can hear you. I can say that I'm blind, but I know I can see you. I can claim to be numb, but in my heart,

I can feel you. And I can't stop this feeling, you know, just kind of this idea of like, it's, there's a voice there, you know, and just following it and kind of taking those steps. And it goes like every step I take, I feel a little bit more alive, you know, and just kind of following that voice. So a lot of, a lot of my music is for the dreamer and all of us have just really listened to that voice and kind of combating some of those feelings um and then my grandpa passed away and then that became a big inspiration for me of of

lyrically writing to process kind of the you know my grandpa was like the patriarch of our family and it was just this larger than life person. And, uh, just kind of thinking about, okay, he's no longer here. And now is the time in my life where I'm becoming a man and like need that kind of guidance. And like, what, how can I go back through my memories with him and think of like, what would he want me to do? What would he want me to be? So I wrote a song called pieces of you kind of on that idea of like taking all

these things and trying to put them into a life, you know, and creating values for myself. And, you know, so some of my music is pretty sad, but I think there's a tinge of hope within everything of, you know, while things might be hard, but there's always that voice inside to listen to. And my And my most popular song and most requested in the song that everyone sings along to when I play, which is a really cool experience as a performer. I bet.

Yeah. It's pretty amazing. It's called Up, Up, Up. I go, when I'm feeling down, I pick myself up. And there's a light on somewhere. If you find it, there's happiness out there it's all around okay oh that's a nice one that um i don't i'm thinking about writing music and i'm like i'm a really good writer but i don't i feel like i don't have a cadence ain't that what they call it yeah it's like the rhythm kind of thing i feel like that i can't find that rhythm yet um and then years of chemo messed up my little singing voice and that's why he was successful when i wasn't

you took your your spotlight she took my spotlight i was supposed to be me i was supposed to sing the national anthem, but I was a little busy. Yeah. So when do you plan on releasing some of this music or getting out there a little more? So the first EP that I have on SoundCloud, I've got going through DistroKid right now to get on. So whenever that gets approved, it'll be live on Spotify. They're recordings that I did two and a half years ago. So it's certainly outdated, but I just,

people ask me often of where they can listen to it. So I just want to have something for people to listen to other than SoundCloud, cause it's a little bit harder to access. So it'll be on all streaming platforms, Spotify, Apple music, whatever Spotify is just my app of choice.

But, but yeah, and then I've got a new single called gone that i'm working on in the studio right now um and that'll be kind of my big like real debut of having a having a song with not just me playing to a mic like it'll have layers of harmonies and other instruments and all that kind of stuff and that's really exciting i know they're gonna sound you i'm retiring it's it's man recording is a beast. I mean, it is hard. It is really hard.

And I really have a lot of respect for the people that are, you know, bedroom warriors, just sitting up, figuring it all out, watching YouTube videos and learning. That's what I've been doing lately. And it is challenging. It's really, really tough. And I think like, it's what makes writing music so beautiful is that you have this, you have something in your head that you can hear and see that's not real. It's like, it's like literally the, the epitome of going out on faith.

It's like, I can't see this or it's not tangible, but like, I hear it, it's here. And somehow like going through the process of putting it out there and finally getting to a point where like, this is this is what i hear you know that's challenging and a lot of times i find myself you know constrained by my abilities and so that can be really frustrating too because it's like man i just can't physically play what i'm hearing like man i gotta and that's where it's beautiful to collaborate with other people and then they bring another perspective you're like gosh i didn't you know i got together a few months ago with a friend that plays fiddle and her husband or boyfriend i guess plays upright bass and we recorded it and i'm driving home listening to

the recording and i'm just like weeping so i'm like gosh i've never heard my music this way you know like listening to a fiddle player and a bass player and like i'm just like gosh this just adds such a robust like emotion to the sound to the song that I heard but didn't know how to communicate you know and it's like it just was such a beautiful like compliment to the song you know

and like that's one of the most rewarding things as a musician and so yeah long story short it's incredibly challenging but so worth it now how do you maintain your mental health while you're going through that I don't know

by playing more music that's a great question I think like was that a serious question or rhetorical no no no it was very serious okay okay I was like I wasn't sure if you were making a joke actually my joke was gonna be who grows up and wants to play a fiddle right i guess i'm in montana it's maybe a little more right i was gonna say maybe

i've never known anybody to be like i'm gonna be the best fiddle player in the world and um so that was gonna be my joke but, my question was serious. Because I know that, you know, it's very easy for past thoughts to seep in, especially when you're frustrated or you just can't get it right. And, you know, now it's like, oh, I'm messing up and I just why can't I figure it out? It's like, you know, that can be that can bring up things that you kind of work through. So how do you maintain your path? Yeah. I'm even just thinking about it i'm getting emotional like there's there's a situation the other day i was playing around a campfire with some friends we went to a concert um and we're all hanging out afterwards

camping and we're passing the guitar around you know and and a friend of mine grabs the guitar and goes to play some songs. And it was clear that he is a beginner. But he played well. I mean, it sounded good. He was doing his thing. And he gets done, and he's just like, yeah, guys, this is the first time I've ever played in front of people. Oh, wow.

And he's like, so sorry if it sounded bad. And I'm like, I don't know. this came out of my mouth in the moment and i don't it was like one of those things where you're like you realize you're the instrument not the the the writer necessarily but i was like dude it's not about being good or bad it's just about being right you know like you just did it you just fucking played like so don't apologize to us for not playing well you just did it man and like that's the only thing you can do. And so I think for myself, when I have those moments where I'm, like, down on myself for not doing what I know I could have done, it's like,

and I gave it my best. I did everything I could. And, like, sure, could it have been better? Probably, you know. But I gave it everything I had. And that's all you can do, you know but i gave it everything i had and that's all you can do you know and like and that's and i think that's the that's the biggest perspective for writing music or really anything is it's just not it's not about being the best being better than anyone else it's just

about being yourself and sharing it audaciously right like going out there and having the confidence to just say hey this is me you know and whether you accept it or not, like I'm taking up space and, you know, and that's just, I think as a, as a, as an entrepreneur, as a, as a parent, as a, as an artist, as a creator of any kind, you know, that's all you can do is just do it. It kind of sucks that we live in a society that, that good, better, best kind of society, you know? And it's, it's to me, I always say like, what are we comparing it to? Like, what are you comparing? I'm not perfect, but who are you comparing me to, to say that I'm not perfect? Unless you can find the exact me, I'm perfect, damn it. Okay?

Yeah. I was just thinking of you reminded me of the song Humble and Kind. And so that made me think that when you meet Tim McGraw and you shake his hand, make sure you tell him I said hi. I will. Because I have a feeling you're definitely going to be famous someday. I mean, super duper famous. And you do remind me of that song, humble and kind. You seem very humble.

And I want to say that I want to come to one of these campfires that y'all do. Cause it sounds dope. I've never been to one. However, we've never been to a campfire. And I have one stipulation. It's because of the bugs. The bugs.

There has to be a hotel nearby. I not camping with nobody fair enough fair enough we can go we can go glamping dude come on out to come on out to montana hit me up we'll get like nice like they have nice big canvas tents so you can stay in you know or like you know where he goes i go yeah oh heck yeah come on out if you're ever in montana please hit me up i've got to go to montana we've always talked about maybe moving out there but the snow gets like that's a random place to move to it's it's out there yeah it's totally out there see i mean i've only seen it in picture i know right i like cold so i think that i could like but you know i was sitting here and I'm thinking like, I've never met a person that's so completely opposite than me. And you are, and it's not a bad thing. It's just because, you know, it's like, oh, you know, I'm going on a hike. And I'm like, if there's no golf cart.

Fishing, hiking. You probably ride horses too. I have not ridden a horse. Really? I rode a horse though, and I was good. Good for you. Did you get bucked off or did you make it new mexico puerto rico that's awesome um my my horse was dope though he was real dope because he wanted to stay in the back and he wanted to go his pace he and i was

however like micah and he was cool like we was cool he was the only thing that scared me he kept trying to look back at me and I'm like, look that way. But I did it because I'm one of those people to believe experience, like experience life. You know, that's why we're here. I think we were just kind of talking before we started that all we do is work. Kind of like you said, it's like all we do, you know, is we're working and then we're paying bills. And that's really all we're doing. You know, if you're not J-Lo or Jay-Z, you're not having fun, you know. And even they work their ass off. And I'm like, I would have quit my first million because I'm not leaving nobody nothing when I go.

So I just need money to live the rest of my life and then we good. But I was thinking I was like, you know, you were talking about something to relax. And I'm like, dag, and I'm the one that's like, I got to go get my manicure done again. You going on a hike, a 10 mile hike, and I'm about to sit in this chair and get massaged, you know? Hey, the, the sunshine and mountain air is really good for you. No, I can imagine. It's probably really good for mental health. That's for sure. It probably is too. Yeah. And I think,

I feel like you get to see like a different. And he's not picking his nose, by the way. He has a nose ring. I like playing with my nose. Across the bottom of the screen. People are like, he always in his nose.

I guess I still eat my boogers. Put that out there. But, and you know, the other thing that's kind of crazy is I grew up, I never had grandparents. Really? Yeah. They were like already gone by the time I existed.

So I didn't grow up with grandparents. So it's always kind of unique when you hear, like, it's always like a hint of jealousy a little bit when you hear people speak about their grandparents the way that you do. I see where you're going with it. I was like, where's this thought coming from? But I get you now. Yeah. Like, it's really dope. You know, I love to hear it and you know, like, right. You know, like my mom right now is a matriarch, our family. And I'm like, Oh, you know, but yeah, we, like, we didn't grow up with grandparents.

It's really crazy. It's weird. I have one grandparent left and she's 87 years old. She's going strong. She lives her life by a routine that's just unwavering.

Tell her we're going to send her a pillow. It's amazing. Heck yeah, she would love that oh yeah email your address we're gonna send her a pillow oh that's amazing okay i will do that um thank you that's really nice of you but yeah she uh it just makes me think though like there's so much generational wisdom there that like you know it's you know like i you know it pains me to hear that you didn't you know have access to that growing up. It also makes me think, well, gosh, here I am taking it for granted too.

For anyone that has grandparents, they can just call up and talk to you. I had a friend that just did. He's a videographer, and he just did a six-hour Zoom call with his grandma a few months ago and asked all these questions about like their whole life and their whole family. And like, you know, and I just think like, man, what a cool experience. How many people like end up losing their grandparents and never get to ask those kinds of questions and hear those stories and get that, you know? So if I guess to take your, you know, your life as a reminder, go call your grandma, see how she's doing.

Ask her some questions. Okay. However, I don't believe that we take things for granted. I feel like that's like another cliche that people like to give us because like your life is yours and my life is mine. And there are probably things that neither one of us, you know, experienced. And so, you know, I always feel like that concept of taking things for granted is like negative. It's a negative aspect of life. You know, it's like, you know, you can be thankful. I think it depends on the person. Well, because I feel like you could be thankful in having a grandmother and not know that you're being thankful just in the love that you give her, you know? So it's just my little take. That's a good point. Yeah. I just feel like, yeah, you know, it's okay to embrace what you have and to love what you have, but you know,

you don't have to always think, I think us as a society don't always have to think what other people didn't have. You know, I struggle with that a lot now because I'm receiving things in abundance and it's like, okay, really, really cool. And I know people that are struggling and it's like, you know, and I try to help everybody I can, but then it's like, when is it okay for me to enjoy my work? You know, because I want to enjoy it. It doesn't mean I'm taking it for granted, you know, I worked hard for it, but I feel like it's just that concept period, you know, it's like everybody's life is that their life. So we're all going to have different stories. You know, as long as you kind of remain humble and and learn to love and appreciate what you have.

You're not taking it for granted. That's just my little soapbox moment. I love that. Makes me feel better about it. And like you're saying before, like not comparing yourself to others to live in your living your life right and that's all you got to do is live your life we're definitely gonna post all your links all that kind of stuff but um but okay i wanted to go into your business though because yeah so i saw that um dang it's edward right edward yeah yeah edward edward so uh kind of oh my gosh it was there it was right there no that's all right that's totally fine um yeah as so like in in you know true form of everything

else i've talked about right like uh edward is my dad dean is my grandpa and so when i started the business i was like man i don't really know what i want to do with this business you know i was like i want to i know i want to help small really know what I want to do with this business. You know, I was like, I want to, I know I want to help small businesses. I know I want to do marketing of some kind. Right. And the name Edward Dean Creative came to me as this idea of like, you know, my dad was a small business owner. My grandpa was a small business banker. And here I am the, you know, the, the next generation trying to figure out how to serve small businesses.

I'm like, I don't really know exactly how I'm going to do that yet, the next generation trying to figure out how to serve small businesses. I'm like, I don't really know exactly how I'm going to do that yet, but I'll use their influence as a guiding light. That's kind of where the inspiration behind the name came. Sorry, my dog here I think has to go out. He's getting a little antsy. If you hear him whining, that's...

Sorry, doggy. You're good. You can be patient. Just a couple more minutes. We just got a little bit of business. Sorry. Hey, buddy. You're good. You can be patient. Just a couple of more minutes. We just got a little bit of business. Just a few more minutes. Yeah, so currently I have a few. It's a service-based agency where I run email and marketing automations. I'd say I'm more of a sales engineer than I am or a marketing engineer than I am a marketer, right? It's more about building

the systems and processes and the software tools that kind of create or allow them to work, right? And to get results. Currently, I'm not taking on any new clients, but I do have a couple of things in the works that is pretty exciting that I'm excited to announce soon. So stay tuned on that as a software that we're developing that will be releasing early next year, which is exciting. So I guess if anyone gives a rip, you know, follow along, follow my Instagram and you'll find out more. Definitely post all your links and we're going to follow.

And of course, we're going to want you back when the album comes out. Amazing. Were you going to want to be invited to your first concert? Heck yeah. Okay. The album release tour. I'll give you guys backstage passes. And we'll do a campfire afterwards.

And dude, it'll be great. Maybe we'll be at a campfire. A lot of bug spray. Oh, yeah. Yes. I just need a person to like stand around me and me and just, like... Just fan the bugs away? Yeah. If we do it late enough in the summer where it's hot enough out here, there's

really not that many bugs. So if you come out to Montana in, like, August, it's not as bad. We're both doing this weird gnat thing in our office. Oh, no. And he is not having it. Oh, my God. I'd never keep my door closed. My door has been closed. I am gnat-free. When someone comes in, I'm like, keep my door closed. My door has been closed. I am not free.

When someone comes in, close the door, close the door. But Lucas, we thank you so much for being on. We're going to let you go just because the dog is whining. Yes. And I feel like that's kind of cruel to make me wait. So we're not going to let you wait any longer. Thank you so much for coming on. But I did want you to kind of give some of our viewers advice on taking that step to deal with their mental health. Yeah. Could I sing it for you? Can I play a song? You know, I was going to ask you to do that, but I was like, oh, maybe that's too forward. But yes, please. Yes. No, I could play that up up up song i feel like that's probably the the most in line with with the the conversation today um give me one sec to grab it out of my case so excited okay yeah okay you guys can hear me still yes yes yeah all right so ironically um this was the guitar that i picked up in that music store

and um my i mentioned that my grandpa's name is dean and it just so happens to be a dean guitar which i think is kind of, kind of funny how these, like these things, like end up having these little like feathers throughout all areas of your life, you know, playing. So this song is up, up,

up. And it's about when, you know, when things are looking gloom, just trying to find a new perspective and picking yourself right back up. So Things are looking gloom, just trying to find a new perspective and picking yourself right back up. So we'll get this in tune. All right. Quick sound check here.

Let me know if I'm clipping the audio. Can you hear this on the guitar? Is that coming through okay? Yeah. I'm sorry. I turned off our mics because we had a little echo, but yeah, that's fine. Okay, sweet. All right. All right. When I'm feeling down, I pick myself up.

And when I'm feeling low, I pick myself up. What do you want to sing to? There's a light on somewhere. If you find it, yeah, happiness is out there. It's all around. If life is what I'm searching for, I pick myself up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick myself. I pick There's a light on somewhere if you find it Yeah, happiness is out there, it's all around Life is what I'm searching for

And I guess this is living off the ground so That was amazing. Yeah, you actually had a very cool voice. I was like, okay, voice. And then the dog needs to be a permanent part of this act. I know, right? Every time. Yeah. That's so cool he's my backup singer at home here it's pretty good it's pretty cool uh thank you whenever i've intentionally like had friends over and i'm like hey check this out i'll play a song and he'll like sing with me

he never does it but now we're like it's great that he actually did it like you said earlier you invite somebody to your podcast and they want to show off so he know he on the podcast well he's like hey you haven't talked about me this whole time dude what are you doing i know we didn't even get to see the dog yeah oh here you gotta see him he's I saw a little bit of him. There he is. Look at you. I did see him on your Facebook page. He's so pretty.

He's a Australian Shepherd, so he's a little wild, pretty wound up. That's cute. We learn a lot about each other with anxiety, so he's a good, good companion. What's his name?

Bodie. Bodie. Bodie. So cool. Well, thank you so much for sharing that with us. Yes. That was really dope.

Cool. It's the first time someone sang live on our podcast. So that's pretty dope. I can't wait to hear more from you. Yeah. And we're the same way. Keep us involved in all you do, but we're going to pop in and out.

You know, I might, might hit you up with a couple of Instagram questions. I've been doing that to people lately, so I might call you out. Just be prepared. Yeah. Go free.

Yeah. By all means. Yeah. I hope to, uh, hopefully you get a chance to meet you in person one day. I'd love to give you guys a big hug and thank you for having me on and looking forward to many more interactions in the future. Thanks hug and thank you for having me on. Looking forward to many more

interactions in the future. Thanks so much for having me on. Yeah, we're going to do that fire thingy, campfire thingy. We're going to do that. Send a pillow to your grandma too. Yes, we're going to send a pillow to your grandma and we're going to send one for the dog. That is the coolest. That is so cool, man.

You got to take a picture of Bowie? You got to take a picture of Bowie with the coolest. That is so cool, man. You know what I'm saying? You got to take a picture of Bowie. Bowdie. You got to take a picture of Bowdie with the pillow, okay? And send it. You know I'm perfect. Thank you so much for being on. Thank you guys for watching. And we'll see you next time.

Thank you. Thank you.