These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Laughter, Learning, and Light: Navigating Mental Health with Marisol Moran | Season 2.5 - Ep: 110

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

Send us a Text Message.In this insightful and engaging episode of the These Fukken Feelings Podcast, Micah and Rebecca sit down with Marisol Maran, a dedicated mental health advocate and expert. Drawing from her extensive experience and knowledge, Marisol sheds light on the complex world of mental health, while Micah and Rebecca bring their signature humor and wit to the conversation, making it both entertaining and educational.Together, the trio explores the importance of self-care, destigma...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now. What is up guys? Welcome to these fucking feelings podcast. This is take number two. Season 2.5. We're continuing to focus on mental health. I am Micah. And I'm Rebecca. We're here today with Marisol Moran. Life coach extraordinaire. So I know we already asked this one time, but we're gonna make you

go through it again. No one can sell you like you can sell you. So go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah, thank you. So I'm Marisol Moran. I'm a certified life coach. I've been coaching for almost three years now. And my main focus is working with people to build self-esteem, build confidence, and to reconnect with themselves. So essentially rebuilding their relationship with self so that they can have healthy relationships with others. So I guess before we go any further, what is a life coach? Yeah. So the way that I talk about it or categorize it is kind of like life coaches are like the operations managers of life. Yeah. So we kind of look at systems, we look at how we really comes up because we're one system. We're one person.

It's all interconnected. So it does come up. But ultimately, yeah, it's kind of like the operation manager for individuals. That's a pretty good answer. Yeah, that does. So now Rebecca asked in a previous take, were you always a people person? And you said you actually were introverted. Oh, I'm extremely introverted. Like I'm probably going to be tired after this conversation, but not in a bad way. It just takes a lot of energy for me to people.

But in terms of like the connections that I've seen in my life that's allowed me to like really be a life coach and enjoy it and find it rewarding is that I've noticed throughout my life I've always liked to create I guess like safe spaces for people where they can feel comfortable just being themselves and actually when I worked at a high school one of the students told me like oh Miss Moran like I always feel like comfortable to just like be weird. And like, it's okay to do that around you. And I, that was like the best compliment I've ever received in my life because that's what I've always wanted to do. I've always want people to just feel okay to be themselves. And I feel like that's an aspect of what I do as a life coach. And that's pretty dope. Isn't it like crazy that we live in a society that labels things as weird?

Like kids feel that they're weird, you know, when we all are kind of a little weird. What is weird, really? I mean, it's like everybody falls under that spectrum. So kind of before we go a little further into life coaching, I was watching one of your TikToks about Spanglish. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that.

I'm actually Puerto Rican myself, or I'm pretty mixed, but, you know, Puerto Rican. I don't speak Spanish, but I grew up, my mom speaks Spanish, and my brother speaks Spanish, and aunts and uncles. And I'm very aware of, like, Spanglish, you know? So what was the issue? Someone told you you wasn't doing it right? Oh, so that's just yes and no. I feel like throughout my life, there's been this sort of tension between speaking like a pure Spanish or only in Spanish and speaking just English. So of course, it's like, it's often looked down upon. And even sometimes like your own parents get a little upset with you, or like they speak to you in Spanish, and you respond in English. And so sometimes like my own parents, when I was a kid would get upset with me for doing that. Or even growing up and being told like, that's wrong.

Like you should just, if you want good Spanish to just only respond in Spanish. Or people saying that speaking Spanglish is like lazy or unintelligent. Or like you're sort of like disgracing the language by mixing it with English. And the thing is, is that like for me, Spanglish is such an inherent part of who I am. I'm Mexican American. I identify as Chicana as well. And like Chicanos and like Chicanismo has its own like history and its own like segment that is like a dialect almost as well. If you look at it from a linguistic standpoint. So for me, it's, it's like another aspect of my identity

and it's not wrong. Am I going to speak Spanglish if I'm giving a presentation, if I'm like talking to like the UN or something? No. But, but if I'm living my life and I'm going to speak Spanglish and it's just how I, another way I express myself in my culture. Right. Definitely. And it's something that's kind of unique to who you are. Exactly. I had to laugh. I was, I posted a TikTok video and I think I said, ask instead of ask. And I'm like, oh my God, people jumped down my case. It was the most ridiculous thing. But to me, I kind of felt exactly like what you said. So there's like a time when I'm going to be professional and I'm going to speak proper and enunciate and pronounce every syllable. But then I kind of have my leisure talk where I'm just like chilling

and, you know, I don't have to say every word and enunciate everything correctly because it's, you know, I'm like in chill mode, you know, and it's crazy that people find the weirdest things to like pick on you about, you know? Yeah, that's so true. And the thing is like with that example, we all know what you're saying. So what's the point in nitpicking? Right. And I think I was just like speaking fast because I do that. So I have, even in this interview, you're going to notice my brain skips around a lot. So, you know, I'm probably a person who can benefit from a life coach because everything. Can't we all benefit? No. Right. We're going to get into that too.

But it's just I need an operations manager because in there it's like the file cabinets are open. All my Rolodex cards are out. So is that kind of like something you would help with? Like, I'm not a disorganized person, but I have disorganized thoughts. couple of clients who have ADHD. And one of the things that we work on is one self-acceptance, because what can often happen is that we might have a standard or like this ideal version of what our lives should look like, how our mind should function, how we should think of things, how we should do things. But if we have say like ADHD, like we don't operate in that way. But that doesn't mean it's impossible to get certain things done that you need to get done. We just have to work with ourselves, know how we function, and then create the system around that to have that success that we want. So for example, like if your house is always

a little bit disorganized or like, and you think you need to have this like Instagram home, but in order for you to remember to vacuum, the vacuum needs to be out. It's your house, like put the vacuum where you're going to see it. So you remember to vacuum. Like, so it's something like that. You know what? I'm, I'm one of those people who like I'll start to I'm going to do laundry, you know. But then now that I think about it, I think I need to order some laundry detergent. So now I need to get on the computer to place an order because I don't like going to the grocery store. But I have to go get my laptop and now I see a pen that's out of place. So I take the pen and I put it in the drawer, but the drawer is a mess. So now I have to organize

the drawer that I just put the pen in and all this then for me wanting to do laundry. And laundry never gets done. But Rebecca over here lives in an Instagram home. So lucky. I don't. It's exhausting though. I mean, if I go, but I do that though, the laundry thing, and then I see one thing and then I see another thing. And then I see another thing that happens to me. I go in one room to clean one thing and then I clean another.

But amazingly enough, I eventually circle back and I get that first thing I started on done. But it's exhausting. And, you know, you just have to keep going until you get it done. I guess, I don't know. So I guess we actually started this journey three years ago. What were you doing before life coaching? I was a communications manager. So I was working in communications, like social media. I also did a lot of grad school. So my career was kind of like in short chunks with schooling mixed in.

OK, so like you said, see, I guess I'm sorry because you answered the question and I think it was in the previous take about what made you want to become a life coach. Oh, yeah, I think it was like it was like I hate to ask this question and you already answered it in this take, but we had a little technical difficulties earlier, people. So we had like a whole conversation before this one started. And, you know, I'm a little ADHD. I don't remember what was said. So I'm going to ask you real quick. What made you go into life coaching yeah so I kind of went in just sort of like out of curiosity it wasn't something that I was determined to do I thought I'd just kind of give it a shot and get the certification and my mindset at the time was let me just make the money back that I spent on the certification and it'll be a win. And if it's not something I enjoyed, that's fine. Like I can do something else. Now, what happened that made you curious? Sorry, not to cut you off, but just wondering, like, what happened that will make you curious enough to say, like, I think I want to be a life coach.

One of the things it does, it sounds a bit selfish and maybe I'm judging myself by saying that. Probably. But I just, I was so fed up in where I was working and constantly in this cycle of finding a job, it being okay. And then hating it a year later. And life coaching seemed like one, like something purposeful, something that is positive, like a positive contribution to the world. And also a little bit of freedom because I wouldn't have to work for anyone other than myself. So that's what's a part of it was a little bit selfish. I was like, let me try this and like work for myself and also like maybe have a positive impact. That's what like

led me to it. Okay. Was now, have you ever had a life coach yourself? I have, I worked with a coach about a year ago for about like a year and a half. And that was phenomenal. It was very helpful. And what made you decide that you needed a life coach? 2020, which coincidentally was when the world decided to just catch on fire. It just happened to happen at the same time. They weren't actually related. Which sounds difficult in itself. If it wasn't related to COVID and you had something and COVID, okay, you got to tell us this story, girl.

So I was going through some incredible depression at the time. I hadn't realized it, but I was, I would say, kind of like a low level, just chronically depressed for many years, but functional. So I was still going to school. I was still going to work. And everything just felt a bit gray but I was functioning um and then once like March-ish like early March 2020 came around everything I just like I rode it till the wheels fell off basically so now could people tell you were depressed or were you kind of like good at hiding the depression and like you knew but no one else knew kind of thing. I think I hit it fairly well. I think it's because I'm naturally a quiet person. I naturally keep to myself. I don't think people noticed much of a difference. You really are sounding so much like me in so many ways right now.

Because I too suffered from an extreme. I'm going to use the word extreme. And I'm going to call it a mental breakdown because I don't know what else to call it at this point. But it was right around maybe a year after that. It was probably 2021. And I was also going through the motions, doing everything, going to work, taking care of the house, the kids, the husband, everything. But then one day it hit me out of nowhere and I literally could not do anything. I couldn't go to work. I couldn't take care.

I didn't even want to talk to even my daughter. I didn't want to do anything. So I don't know what one day some, I just forced myself. I've got a therapist. That was, that was the first thing I did. But she helped me a lot. But and now me, I'd never even knew a life coach existed, honestly, until just till you, but maybe that's something I should definitely consider. But nobody really knew how I was feeling because I too am very introverted and quiet. And the only time anybody really gets to know me is if I allow them to. So yeah, you're just sounding so much like me right now. So yeah, I think a life coach is what I need. It could be very useful. Yeah. So for you in the middle of your depression, like, was it okay? I just need a life coach or did you sought out therapy or. Um, I did seek out a therapist and it was useful for a bit because I finally just

had someone to talk to, but ultimately that therapist didn't really help me. It was just nice to have someone to talk to. Eventually, I did find my life coach. And actually, I found him on TikTok. And he was like his whole niche, extremely knowledgeable on narcissistic abuse, which is what I had experienced. And yeah, and it's one of those things that I still feel a little bit uncomfortable saying because I have no evidence to say that this person was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder but when i read the the qualifications it kind of kind of kind of checks the boxes definitely um so i feel like there's like a little bit of caveat an asterisk but just ultimately emotional abuse whatever like label we want to put on it, whatever. Narcissist, not a narcissist,

but the emotional abuse was there. So I was dealing with a lot of depression due to what I had experienced. And also what I discovered through my healing journey was a lot of anger for what I identified as like a self-betrayal because there was always a little bit of a part of me that was like, this isn't right. I'm not comfortable with this. Something feels off. But I constantly ignored that little voice and was convinced that this person's right. I am the one who's always wrong and I need to fix it. Yeah. And that's kind of the manipulation part of like being a narcissist right you're really good at that kind of stuff

but um so i guess then it was a relationship sorry if i can ask yeah that you were yeah it was a relationship sorry i ask a lot of questions if it's anything that you're uncomfortable talking about, you can just tell us. We're fine. But look, no means no. Yeah, I'll let you know. So far, we're good. I've talked about this on my Instagram. Okay, cool. So not cool that you talk about it, but cool that we keep going.

So how long was this relationship? Were you in it a pretty long time? Yeah, it was about six years. Wow. And was it six years or kind of did it change yeah that that's one of the things that like i've i've heard other people talk about and one of the things that like i remember by just thinking towards the end of it like he wasn't always like this like he like just repeatedly thinking like he wasn't always like this but that's how it goes the beginning is beautiful because if somebody's outright mean to you on like a first or second date you're like bye right right that's probably why i never make it past the second day but oh yeah so that's one of the main things.

Like it was phenomenal in the beginning. And then, but that's where the love bombing comes in. Where you feel amazing and special. And then it just starts to deteriorate bit by bit as time goes on. So how long did you kind of, like, how long did you deal with it before you decided to get the help you needed? Um, I waited. You're making me think of the timeline. Good at asking questions. You know what it is?

So basically, like our podcast is focused around mental health. But, you know, it's, you know, kind of we kind of we want like everyday kind of people like I can get therapists and all these things up here and they can give us textbook answers, you know, but it's like not every prescription fits every person. You know, I think all of it is kind of like a big science and you have to like figure out what works for you, what doesn't work for you. So the thing that's pretty cool about our podcast is that we allow people like yourself on me. But it's, you know, it just gives people the, I guess, the vision in a way to see like, wow, you know, she did it. She didn't go through all these things. You know, she found a life coach that suited her or, you know, it kind of, it's kind of cool to show just the differences, how everybody handles situations, how they build themselves out of it. But how long, you know, you went through it before you were strong enough? Because I know a lot of times people feel like, well, I've dealt with it for this long.

I might as well keep dealing with it. And it's like, no, you can you could come out of it. So when I ask these questions, it is for a purpose. I'm not just being nosy. So there was no given the format there was no hope for him like he wasn't able to like come around and not behave like that that is um a a topic that has come up and not something that I ever really talked directly with my coach about, but something my coach has talked about like on his own social media platform. So I've heard him say that essentially like when he was working with narcissists during his graduate program, like he never saw a single narcissist actually get better.

And I've heard other people who have experienced narcissistic abuse talk about how they would convince their narcissistic partner to go to therapy, like couples therapy. And they eventually just ended up adopting that therapeutic language and what they learned in therapy and use that against their partner for like more narcissistic abuse later on. So if anybody out there is experiencing narcissistic abuse, please just leave because that's the only surefire way I've ever experienced or heard people say that they've were able to themselves like heal is to leave the situation. It's definitely okay to seek help. There's people out here that'll talk to you. You can contact Marisol in the sense of people your way. So it's crazy. I actually remember reading this story about a little girl and it kind of seems like what you were saying, she was just kind of like a narcissist, but she was just so young, little, and she was like really,

really mean and hateful of people. And they actually, the way they were able to change her was, or not change her, but the way they got her to behave, I guess the way that society says she needs to behave, was to tell her everything was a game. Like, if you pretend that you're nice to this person, then they'll like you and they want to be around you. And that means you won that game, you know? And it was, I was like, wow, that's so crazy because they knew like in her essence, it wasn't going to be changed. They couldn't change. She was like legit a psycho.

Like there's nothing they could do to change her. So they found a way to like kind of deal with her on her level and kind of made everything a game. And from, from the last like update that I did read on, it wasn't working, but I just thought it was crazy that, that they would do that. But I guess it also shows that people will try to help you no matter how bad you are.

And I guess that's kind of like the point of this is like, it's pretty crazy. So, um, life coach, I sit down with a life coach. I'm having a consultation. What So we get to really like zero in on what they want to focus on. And then there we talk about, I kind of get the person thinking a little bit like, okay, this is the challenge. What do you think is getting in your way? What do you think is stopping you from getting to the goal or point B. And then from there thinking about like, well,

if this is no longer an issue, what do you think is possible? Because there's always something else. There's the challenge. And then there's like, what would happen if the challenge was resolved? Like what peace or joy or fulfillment would that bring? And kind of just getting the whole picture or as much as possible within a consultation, Cause it's only for me 30 minutes or so of what this person's life is like, what they're feeling and what sort of like their hopes are. And if they even have that, because if we're talking with somebody who's dealing with depression, often we don't feel hopeful when we're feeling depressed.

So maybe what we can do to get there, if that is a factor. So it really depends, but ultimately the consultation is kind of like the big picture and what you want to work on. And then after that, we can kind of get into the nitty gritty. And what, is there like a point in someone's life that you think they should start or seek out life coaching? Oh, my God. That's a that's a little bit difficult only because sometimes I feel like we all need it. And I guess, you know, I've talked to a lot of people or just my mom, like for instance, um, she won't talk to a therapist and I believe that she brings up his mom in every single podcast. Just a side note. Okay. So you are a Latina, you know, how close everybody is to their mother. Like,

yes. Your mother is always your best friend. My mama is my best friend. But, you know, I went to therapy, never thought I went to a therapy. I went to a therapist, never thought it would work for me. I was in it for two years. And then finally, my therapist was like, you don't have an issue talking. You don't need me no more. Like, talk to your family, talk to your friends like, you know, like you really don't, because you don't have an issue expressing what bothers you anymore. You know, a lot of times we go in there and it's like, before she can ask a question, I'm like telling her about my day, you know? But my mom doesn't want to go to a therapist, you know, and she has trauma, a lot of trauma from growing up and then

growing up in Puerto Rico. And then in the time that she grew up and, you know, it was so different, you know, my mom used to walk around barefooted and now we have shoes, you know? So it was just like a different era and timeframe. But, um, so like therapy won't work for her. She just, she tried it. She felt like it really didn't get nowhere. It didn't do nothing. Um, would she be, she'd be a good candidate for life coaching? She can be, I feel like when people because people often talk about like coaching versus therapy and some people don't like coaching or they're against it and that's fine we're all allowed to like think what we think

the way i view it is it's a different modality uh so like I have had consultations and I've turned people away because there are certain things that as a life coach, I do not, I personally don't work with. And I do think that's like, oh, it sounds like you might have something diagnosable. I'm not the one for you is my line personally. But also sometimes people don't want necessarily that talk therapy. They want a little bit more direction perhaps. And that's where life coaching can come in. And also since you mentioned like being able to just like talk and talk and like you're good on talking, um, sometimes what might help the healing process, which is also something I did as well, is like body work. And like, there's like somatic therapies. I have a coaching colleague and friend who does her own modality that's similar to traumatic release exercises. So something similar to that, that she created that really helped me in my journey because a lot, I think like it's become part of the discourse where like a lot of our trauma is stored in our bodies physically. And I was skeptical at first, but after having experienced myself, like how some of that process and how it did help me,

I think there's a lot of merit there. So maybe when talk therapy isn't working, perhaps there is some more like physical aspects that we can do in order to help us heal and move forward. That's a pretty dope answer. And you can drop her name if you want to promote her real quick. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. Or Jordana Che, you can find her as Jordana Che on Instagram. She's also on TikTok, but she's more active on Instagram. So she's, she's fantastic. And she also does do a zoom session. So if you're not local here in Los Angeles, you can always do that as well. But yeah, she's working with her was phenomenal and was, so I essentially, I had two coaches

helping me throughout my depression. So yeah. I just think it's so dope because you're, you're living what you're teaching. Yeah. You know, it was like, I went through it's so dope because you're living what you're teaching. You know, it's like I went through it myself. You're like living proof of what works. Yeah. And that's what's kind of cool. And then, you know, you can you can I don't know you, but I just read people. I feel like you look like you're in a good place in your life.

You know, it's like you have that energy, like I'm in a good place right now. I've been through some shit, but I'm here. Let me teach you how to get here. I don't get me wrong. I have my moments. But But yes, I'm definitely at a place where it's weird but sometimes i'm almost like i'm astounded and grateful that my only stressor in life sometimes is finances like i would like that to not be a stressor one day you know but the fact that that's the only thing that kind of stresses me out. It feels like such a huge win or like my friendships are good. My family is good. Like my dog is good. Like everything else. It's pretty crazy. I feel like the only stresses I have are other people's stresses. He takes care of everybody else. Like I should have been a life coach. I don't know where I'm going to lead you, but people always come to me for the answers so i'm gonna start sending them to

you marisol all right i'm about i'll take them yeah if you're not gonna charge them i'll take them as clients they're gonna give you um the password micah and that means i get 10 okay oh hey you know what's funny though because you were saying earlier um just to show you how my brain works when you were like you know i know that you know you said that you were okay with talking and stuff and it was like maybe you should try and i thought you were gonna tell me to shut up like maybe you should just try listening you didn't go there and i was shocked that you didn't i was like okay okay body works is good because i thought you were gonna tell me to shut up i really did i would never i would never say anything like that sometimes i feel like i should listen more but i have so many questions so i want

to tell him to shut up i never get i never give her no i just sit here half the time. Uh-huh. And I go to speak and he's speaking. So you're about to give us a free lesson. You're about to give us a free lesson real quick. So we probably both need life coaches. And no, it's funny. I had a friend of mine just recently. She's a beautician and she's been working with a life coach. and you could kind of just see like a shift in her a little bit. And then you're

actually our first life coach that we've kind of interviewed. So it's kind of cool. You know, we've, we've had other people that work on mental health and other kinds of ways, but never actually life coach. I got to say, this is my favorite though. I'm just saying. I love everybody you've interviewed. Love you all. Sorry, I'm going to have to block that out, Marisol. I'm sorry. I really like this. I'm sorry. This is just really something that I can really relate to and hope to take advantage of to help me personally. That's all I'm saying. So now, because we were talking about life coaching and then therapy and kind of like

two different things in life coaching, do you, is there like a way for you to help people with trauma or is that something like you don't deal with that at all and I'm just here to organize your life? Oh, no, no, no. So I can, and it's something that does come up in conversation. Now, it's not my main focus per se. I mainly work with people on, like I said before, like building self-esteem, building confidence. And that when we have low self-esteem building confidence and that when we have low self-esteem and like low confidence it is often tied to some form of trauma sort of like general yes general sense of trauma so it does come up where like what is it that's making us feel so low about ourselves and there's usually something there where someone did or said

something and we just carry that with us. And we have limiting beliefs around it. Like that's all because of some form of trauma we experienced. So it does come up. But usually that's not the festers. That's when it turns into something more, not sinister, but just something that's almost like an illness. That's where it can become depression when we just keep things inside and maybe start to feel isolated because we don't have anyone around that we can share with. I'm sure that you've also experienced when you're feeling really heavy about something, you talk about it with a friend and you just feel lighter

afterwards. So I like to provide that space for my clients when something that is a bit more about something you talk about it with a friend and you just feel lighter afterwards um so i'd like to provide that space for my clients when something that is a bit more traumatic comes up allowing room for them to express all of their emotions sometimes that's crying and for all everybody out there is like i don't want to cry in therapy i don't want to cry with my coach like it's awkward i've been there i've cried with my coaches if any time it's okay for you to cry it should be with your therapist or your coach yes yes so um so allowing all all emotions to be expressed definitely without judgment is a huge part of what i do right and actually and i kind of feel like that's a lot what we feel from you, too, is that there's no judgment, you know, just like, OK, you know, it's kind of like go with the flow kind of thing.

It was cool to know that you don't oppose people like it's OK for people who have trauma to seek life coaching as an option because it can work. Now, just talk about you a little more in your depression. You said you had your life coach and those kind of things. But did you ever like do medication or anything like that? recommend at all. So what I did, which was not the right thing, I paid out of pocket because I didn't have health insurance at the time. So I paid out of pocket to see a psychiatrist and I got a prescription for medication for my depression. And I didn't really feel any different. Like I didn't, because some people do say that they take medication for depression and they genuinely like they feel happy. They feel better on their medication.

I didn't feel different. I still felt very depressed. I just now had the energy or the will to get work done. So that's it. I could just get work done and not just like do one Instagram post and then want to go to sleep the rest of the day. I could actually work all day. That's it. And I figured that for myself, my depression wasn't because of say some sort of

like imbalance or something like that. It's a matter of my mouth. I'm like, you know, there's a difference between like depression being caused by trauma and then depression being caused by like chemical imbalances so you kind of like got it because i'm like you know medication kind of fix chemical imbalances but it doesn't quite touch that trauma aspect of life you know i feel like it may make a person not think about it i mean i don't know i'm like you they gave me medication and i took it for a little while. And then I was like, why am I taking medication? Like I didn't see no difference

either. And then I felt like the depression that I was diagnosed really wasn't depression. You know, like I was so like, oh, you're depressed because you like to be by yourself. And I'm like, no, I just really like to be by myself. You know, like I really enjoy spending time with me or because I didn't have guests over and it's like, we're in the middle of a pandemic. I don't want these people in my house or, and then it was like, you know, you never, you don't, you don't do a lot of housework. And I'm like, I live by myself. There's really no housework to do. Like I wash the dishes,

but I ain't got to put together furniture every day. But you know, these were all the things that, right. These were things that like a psychiatrist told me to convince me that I was like, um, depressed. And for a little while there, I was thinking like, I'm depressed. This is crazy. You know, like, ma, I went to the doctor and they said, I'm depressed. And she's like, I told you it runs in the family. And I'm like, I'm taking this medicine. And now I'm having conversations with people about medicines. But I started to feel negative on the medicine.

I started to feel kind of more uptight and like wound. How do you say it? Wound tightly. Is that right? Yeah. Like wound up. I always just felt like I was always tense. It was, I felt like something was going to happen. I was nervous. And, you know, I went through it for a little while. And to me, the more I thought

was, wow, everybody's right. I really am depressed. I have all these signs of depression, but really the medication was kind of giving me the signs, you know, and it was like the person I was dealing with at the time, the doctor, they were like putting things in my head, you know, to make me think, you know, it was like, you know, it took me a long time to realize, not a long time. I probably did it like you, like a few months. I kind of did the medicine, but in that few months I went went from being okay to being really horrible and being stressed out and I'm ready to quit my job and fuck this place. And then one day it's like, I'm not going to take this medicine. But to me, it was because of the negative reason. I'm on this

medicine, but I'm still depressed. So shit, ain't no need to take it. So now I was like in my depression, I was being rebellious. So I was like, I'm not going to take this medicine. So I stopped taking the medicine and started to feel better without really noticing that I was feeling better. You know, it was, I was still acting like a rebellious, like, no, I ain't taking, I'm not taking it. I'm flushing it down the toilet. so I don't change my mind later. But somehow it was like my mental, this way I was thinking changed. And I started to realize, like, I let this man tell me or talk me into believing that I was depressed. Wow.

Yeah. That's so crazy. But I think that like, I kind of had a similar sense of like that rebellion. Um, it, when I, cause I, again, like I said, I don't condone what I did because I just stopped taking it as well. Like one day I was just like, screw this medicine. Like, it's not even helping me like, okay, it's letting me be a little worker bee, but I work for myself because I had already started life coaching by then. And so I was like, why do I need to like be this little worker bee when it's just me as my boss? And also I was depressed because of all these other life situational factors and trauma as a factor that I figured I don't need medicine to heal. I just need to heal. You said that very well. We had someone on,

well, actually they haven't been on yet. We've recorded an interview with someone who had like this box theory. Can you, the, about the box and the cover. Oh yeah. Yeah. Can you break it down? I know you're probably better at breaking it down. Um, let me think for a second. Um,

something about emotions and feelings. Um, if you in depression and so forth, if you, uh, in that particular interview, I felt like if you could just set aside those emotions and those feelings for just a moment, put them in a box. And my thought was to put a lid on it, even to just put it away. And that particular person was, one of her main points was about putting your emotions in a box. Yeah. So, sorry, I kind of lost my train of thought.

But no, the reason I brought it up and I got what you, I mean, what you said is what I kind of wanted you to say was that, you know, I kind of feel like you. I feel like you have to kind of deal with your crap, you know? It's like our issue is that that's what most people do. We car compartmentalize. There we go. Like these horrible things, never to want to deal with them again, you know? And it's like, if you start to deal with your shit, then, you know, like, you know, you're proof right here. Instead of putting it in a box. Right. Like, don't listen to me.

Look at Marisol. Marisol did it. She did it. I don't think this person's wrong. So, again, it's probably just different ideas, different views. I think that it is a useful tool to be able to put our emotions in a box. Like it is a tool that we can use to help us reach a goal, help us succeed. Because, you know, if you're feeling really sad and depressed or something, but like a lot of us out here,

we need to make money to live. You can't be super sad and depressed while you're at work, maybe doing customer service. As much as I don't like the put it in a box, but sometimes you got to do what you got to do to survive. But that doesn't mean that you put it in a box and you lock it. You put it in a box and you open it up and work through and process at a later time. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I went through a, like I'm in the middle of my change right now. You know, this is my self-improvement, my getting better. You know, I did a lot of things that was necessary for my wellbeing. But so one thing that I did do was that I dealt with what

was in my box and it probably was the best thing that ever happened for me. And not only did I deal with it, like I actually went to people and I was like, hey, you hurt me. You did this to me. You know, like, it's cool. But I just want you to know that like it affected my life. And it brought me down a path that I didn't like. So I even went as far as to like doing that, like going to people and saying, yo, like in a way you kind of fucked up my life a little bit. Like I'm going to take my blame, but you kind of to blame a little bit too, you know? And it kind of like changed my life a little bit.

You know, just being able to deal with it is kind of, it did two things. It made me realize, number one, that people don't do things to me. They do things to themselves. You know, I'm never the real cause. I'm more like the effect, you know. So it taught me that thing. But in teaching me that, I'm like too easy on people now because I know that there's a reason behind everything. And how can I possibly judge or be mad at this

person if I don't know the reason okay I hear what you're saying and it's kind of I feel like what you're saying is very similar to like kind of like the flip side of that is like everybody like there's a reason why people say and do things and like there's a reason why people say and do things. And like, there's a reason why somebody is mean, but that doesn't give them the right to be mean to you. That doesn't make them being mean to you. Okay. You know? So you can take that like on a big example, like the narcissistic relationship that I was in, like, I'm sure there's a reason why he is like that, his own trauma, but that doesn't make the emotional abuse okay. And I feel like, and that's maybe an extreme example, but we can take what you're saying and have to figure out

for ourselves, like what that balance is, because if we're allowed to feel all the emotions. So if someone does something that makes you angry, it's okay to be angry. And that's just a matter of. It shouldn't be a lifelong angriness, though. Like, you shouldn't be mad forever. Like, I get five minutes and now move on. Right. Like, that's where it comes in, where processing comes in.

Right. Oh, I thought you was going to say more. I know. Oh, I thought I interrupted you. I was ready. Come on, Marisol, give it to me. I definitely can. So like, I'm sure we all have known

or met someone who's kind of like always grumpy, like always angry. That's because there's like something that's not healed. And that's where the healing process comes in. And again, I feel like that's where there's like something that's not healed. And that's where the healing process comes in. And again, I feel like that's where we have like different tools, again, like the box tool. It may be something happened, you have every right to be angry, and you just can't get over your anger in a second. You know, not not really, you can, I think you can put it in a box and deal with it later um but that's where the

the introspection comes in creating a space for yourself where you can really assess what's going on and why you're feeling that way and then come to say someone said or did something to make you angry and thinking well well they're probably like that because something unjust happened to them. So now they're like this. We can have compassion and recognize that other people have experienced trauma, but we can also recognize that we deserve to be treated kindly and with respect.

And we can communicate that with others kindly and with respect as well. And for people who are maybe people pleasers, that might be a little bit difficult. But I'm here to tell you that you're not being mean when you set a boundary with someone. And if someone's making you feel mean because you're setting a boundary, maybe that's not a person who needs to stay in your circle. And that's kind of what I was going to say. Like, I really am a person that gets mad for like that quick, you know, like I bounce back real quick and, and it's because now I choose whether I still want to deal with you or not, you know, like it's my choice. Like, you know, it's kind of like, know it's kind of like you're forgiven for snapping at me or whatever like that stuff's cool i'm not here to hold no grudge i'm not no perfect person i

probably piss people off every day you know but and so it's like and knowing that is like okay cool you know you get this but now if i keep coming back for it i feel like i have a problem you know but and then I'm actually a really honest person too. So if you said something I don't like, I'm just going to tell you, yo, you said something I don't like. So I think it's in my growing, it's kind of like, I just want to be honest with people, you know, and it's kind of like, and like you said, there's different methods for everybody. And I'm just telling people about me and not saying that that's how it works or that the box example is not a good example. It's just I know for me, open up them boxes, you know, I end up finding some butterflies.

And, you know, and I like living amongst the butterflies. They're cute, you know, but butterflies can also be very vicious you know how a person like you would have no use for a box because you do like to handle things and deal with things right away right away yeah as soon as it happens it needs to be discussed that's just who i am there's no we talking about you're a very extroverted person in every way i mean, I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean like you really are very outgoing. So I feel like you handle it. I'm sorry. So we have a producer, Crystal. Go ahead. Come on in real quick. Look, we have she's back there laughing so hard so so i have a point so i think you're gonna make me forget it now um so but a person like me who's very introverted and who takes a bit to process things. That's kind of why I sit here quietly a lot of the time, because it takes me a bit. I utilize that box every single day.

Oh, I know. to take my time to handle my emotions and process my emotions. And that lid aspect, sometimes I don't even want to face my emotions just to get through my day. Right. Because I am depressed. I take medication every day. I'm chemically imbalanced, depressed. I have situations where in my life I'm dealing with things that have enhanced my depression. So, you know, that box theory for me is imperative.

So Marisol, we need a consultation. Oh, yeah. And we joking a little bit, but I'm serious, too. We're going to hit you up because I want a consultation for Rebecca here. Well, so with this podcast, this mental health podcast, that's one of the things that I hope to get out of this myself, selfishly, is some help along the way you know different ways to handle things for myself and a life coach never knew that was a thing I don't think I ever really knew it was a thing so so now we're gonna put you on the spot marisol real quick you kind of got to know rebecca a little bit here but if she was one of your clients what are some of the things that you would tell

her and i know it's it's probably like a lot to ask because you heard a little bit about her but i feel like you get you you still get the gist kind of what's going on yeah i mean definitely from the little bit that we've talked about now, I would like, of course, stay on your medication because clearly there is a benefit in your situation. And also, I feel like one of the things I always talk about, which maybe you already are solid on, is the self-acceptance aspect. Like, cause we can have the acceptance of this is our situation. This is how I handle things. And this is just how I function and maybe how I function right now. So you've talked about being introverted. You talked about being quiet. You've talked about taking time to process. That's all fine. That's perfectly fine. Cause I think that we sometimes are in situations where maybe we're not sure how we feel about something yet, or maybe we're upset, but we don't know why.

Or maybe something rubbed us the wrong way or made us feel sad or angry. And we need to think it through before we can go and communicate like, hey, you said this or did this, and it made me feel this way. And also like the box tool. Again, I feel like that's a tool. And that's something I often talk about with my clients is not that you need to find the answer that's always going to work like the golden key, but sometimes we just need more tools in our toolbox to help us work through various different situations. So that would be the foundation or like the introduction in terms of a conversation with you of just the self-acceptance and what tools are we using to help us get through our day. And then ultimately looking at the bigger picture of what is the ultimate goal?

Because that's different for all of us. And maybe sometimes what we need in order to get to where we want to be is maybe different avenues, different or like a team of people to help us through, through different times. So like I mentioned, I worked with two different coaches to help me get through. And I also did a lot of reading books that like my own coaches recommended to me in order to learn about what I was going through and to help me get through my depression. And a lot of that had to do with self-care, self-acceptance, and a lot of exploring, like opening up that box essentially, and like allowing whatever to come up for me and keep exploring. So for me, like when I was depressed, I felt like, like emptiness, like, like there was a void. Like I was like in outer space or like a vacuum or something. Like there was just this weird emptiness and I didn't know it was there. And then I sat in it long enough.

I found out I was pissed off. And then I was like, okay, why am I pissed off? I kept sitting with it and exploring that emotion. Not like all in one session at all, but like keep exploring it consistently. Then I found out that I just felt like I betrayed myself and I needed to forgive myself. And that, that I feel like there's like a cycle or like a spiral or some sort of when it comes to healing, because I've done a lot of it and I've forgiven myself. And then sometimes I'm just, I remember something and I'm like, oh, I need to go back and do my self-forgiveness meditations again. So that's one of the things I would start off with before we can actually like get into more of what's unique to your story and your situation. So now do you provide those tools that you speak on or is like,

or do you make recommendations on tools? Is that kind of like part of having a life coach? Yes, definitely. So there are tools that I provide. There are also tools that we kind of figure out together. So part of the way that I coach is not just like come to me because I have all the answers. Not at all. I firmly believe that you are the expert on you and your situation. So part of what I do is help the other person kind of think through their situation, perhaps in new ways so that they come up with solutions on their own that they feel might work or that they're comfortable with. Because if I tell you to like go do something, you might be a little rebellious and be like, screw what she said. I'm going to do what I want.

And then you don't do it. But if you come up with a solution yourself and you think it's a good idea to just try, just give it a shot for two weeks. Give it a shot for a month and see how you feel. See how you're doing with it. And then we'll touch base. And like, is it working? Is it not working? What can we tweak?

Or what can we just adjust altogether? that's part of what i do and sometimes it is referring out to other people so giordana that i mentioned earlier who i worked with i've had clients of mine go work with her because it's like okay you and i are talking and talking but we keep like we're in a circle so maybe there's body work and I'm not, I haven't done it, but I am not trained in it. So if I think that it's something that might help, then I'll refer out and I'll provide it as an option. And if the client chooses to do that, then they will, if not, then we'll keep talking and see if we can, I'll have to do some work on the back end to see how can I be more of service for this person? What do I need to do differently to be a better coach for this person? And it

challenges me to get better as a coach. So now what is a realistic timetable? You know, people go into things with expectations, you know? So what's like a real expectation? Like I'm going to hire a life coach or Rebecca's going to work with you because we're going to get Rebecca to work with you. Like what's a realistic, like, you know, you should maybe start feeling different in three to six months or is it sooner or, and I know for everybody it's different, but just kind of, I ask because people go into things and then they don't get that immediate instant gratification and they're ready to quit. And it's like, you know, I feel like this is something that like needs to be life coaching or receiving life coaching to me is something like anything else, like any kind of gym membership, you know, in order. Like you kind of always need it.

You know, if you go into it, you should go into it knowing that you always need it. So, um, or always need a part of it. Um, I'm sorry, I'm gonna let you answer my question. I know it's long. So yeah, I was just wondering what's a realistic expectation of time where people can start to see change. Yeah. So I think it's different for every coach though, with the clients I tend to work with, I would say realistically six months to see more of a, more of a shift in how we're feeling, how we're thinking, and maybe how we're approaching things. Sometimes we can see it in, in three months. I, I've had a couple of people I worked with after one month. They're just like, well, I got what I came for. Bye. And I'm like, I think there's still work we can do.

They're like, nope, I got what I wanted. Bye. It's like, okay. Now, is it expensive to have a life coach or is it kind of similar to going to a gym or to a therapist? Again, that depends on the life coach. So I've known coaches who sell like a three month package for like $8,000. I literally saw that sale like live or like a taped version of that sale during the training I was doing. And I was just amazed. And then there are some coaches that are a bit more affordable or would be like kind of like a therapy price range, like in the hundreds instead of like

thousands. So it depends on who you go to. Yeah. Like which, which plan maybe, because coaches definitely have like different plans and different price points as well. So if you're looking for a coach, you know, if there's someone that you've been researching or that you've seen like their website, their social media and you feel a connection with that coach, definitely reach out because they might be able to work with you and your budget. So don't let price necessarily be a deterrent, especially if you haven't had a consultation yet. Don't tell yourself no before you actually have a conversation. Definitely. Now let's go ahead and sell you for a little bit. Tell us a little bit what you got going on, how people can reach you and all that good information? Yeah. So I can be found on my website, marisolmoran.com. You can also find me on TikTok, on Instagram and on Lemonade at your coach Mari. And I'm posting pretty much every day on all those platforms. I also have my own podcast that I started back in like October. It's Growing With Sol and it is now on Stitcher, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Pandora. So that's where I can be found. I am accepting clients and you can contact me through all of those platforms in order

to ask questions or just go ahead and schedule a consultation call for free. Awesome. And we'll make sure that we have all of your links up on our webpage and all of your contact information. I'll make sure that this one gets it. Awesome. Definitely. I'll send it all over. And I'm really just picking on her, but I'm also kind of serious. You know, I know that me going out there seeking like my therapist, I loved her when I finally found a therapist that was good for me. You know, she, there seeking like my therapist i loved her when i finally found a therapist that was good for me um you know she we end up being friends and really that was kind of like the reason she quit because she felt like she was no longer beneficial to me because she ended up liking me as like a

person and then you know it ended up being like a friend conversation like she would tell me what was going on with her and how she felt and it was like okay i'm paying this money so i'm gonna need you to shut up a little bit let me talk but but i know that it's useful um so guys if you're out there and you need help and i feel like we all need help i feel like every single person can benefit, can be benefit. Damn, I'm messing the whole statement up. Every person can benefit from some kind of mental health. Help, I guess I'm going to say, I don't know, because I feel like it's such a big umbrella. You know, people hear mental health and they want to think of therapy and medicine.

I don't want to do that. And it's like, no, that's not necessarily the case. You know, we, you taught us about a life coach, you know, who's not quite a therapist, but kind of can be, but it's a manager and kind of helps you learn how to manage your life. Cool. We didn't know that existed, but that's under the umbrella. Like you can actually help somebody get their life together. So that is part of mental health, which is kind of cool, learning about those kinds of things. And then I appreciate you telling your story because you showed us too that you kind of went through it. So it was like, not only am I helping people, but I can really help you because I kind of lived through it myself. Rebecca, did you have any last things you wanted to say?

No, I can't really think of anything now. I put her on the spot. I mean, all my thoughts throughout the thing have disappeared because I can't get a word in edgewise half the time, but it's the truth. You know, we talked about truth, just saying the truth. So everybody, today is Rebecca's the truth. You know, we talked about truth, just saying the truth. So everybody that today is Rebecca's last day. But anything you want to leave our viewers with any words of encouragement? Words of encouragement. I would definitely say that if you're struggling with any kind of confidence or like low self-esteem to just start with self-acceptance.

That's the first step, because everything else is going to be just blossoming once you accept who and where you are, even if there's something you want to change. Just that self-acceptance, that radical self-acceptance is phenomenal and healing. So can you have self-acceptance and that radical self-acceptance is phenomenal and healing. So can you have self-acceptance and still want to change something? Yeah, I would say it's so much more healing and powerful to approach a situation you want to change or an aspect you want to change through self-acceptance and through that love and that care instead of through self-hatred.'re, you're going to feel something anyway, and you're going to go through it anyway. So why make it a negative experience when you can choose every day? Cause it is a process, choose that appreciation and that love and that care instead. Pretty dope, pretty dope self-acceptance people. So Marisol, we thank you so much for being on. Pretty dope. Pretty dope. Self-acceptance people. So Marisol, we thank you so much for being on.

Thank you. Thank you as well. We definitely want to stay in contact and keep up with you and let you keep up with us. I'm definitely going to check out your podcast. Didn't know you had one. So that goes to show I didn't do all my research correctly. But I kind

of spent a couple days on your TikTok channel. That counts. Right. Watching your videos. They were kind of cool. And I'm like, okay. And we will list all of your information. Thank you guys for watching.

Sorry, we went over a couple of minutes, Marisol. But, you know, I couldn't shut up. We're all good. Thank you. Thank you guys for watching and we'll see you next week.