These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Rising from The Ashes: Lesley Evans' Intense Fusion and Empowerment | Season 3 - Episode 303

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Send us a Text Message.In this energetically charged episode of "These Fukken Feelings" for Season 3, your regular host Micah is joined by guest host Crystal to foster empowering conversations that matter. Ascent to a new height of understanding as we welcome our special guest, the phenomenally intuitive Lesley Evans, CEO, Founder and International Best-Selling Author of 'DeFUNK YourSELF'. This episode is brought to life by Rise of The Phoenix, a platform that casts light onto women's endless...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now. Up guys, welcome to these fucking feelings podcast season 2.5 where we are continuing our focus on mental health. I have Crystal filling in for Rebecca today. Rebecca decided to go on vacation and she's like on somebody's beach. And she done left us here by ourselves, Leslie.

And it's heat. Oh, no, that's hardly fair. Right. But that's okay because she's going to miss out on you, our guest today, Leslie Evans, Rise of the Phoenix. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me here. Thank you for providing this space.

You know what? Thank you for willing to share this space with us. Now, we always feel that the best way to introduce yourself is to do it yourself. So we're going to ask you to tell audience a little bit about yourself. Sure thing. Okay, So my name is Leslie Evans and, and I am the founder of riser, the rise of the Phoenix. And, uh, you know, to put it briefly, I am a, I have been over 30 years, a registered psychiatric nurse therapist.

I'm a, um, a clinical hypnotherapist, a soul care coach, and a Reiki master. So all of that means is I spent a lot of time getting some education because I feel very passionately about healing and about people healing. And I also feel really passionately that it's important that it's holistic. So I use the best of both of my worlds, the more kind of medical scientific part and the spiritual part to have that holistic healing. I think that's just so important.

And why do I think that's important? Well, as a nurse, many of you might have heard this before, but nurses tend to be givers. And, and yes, yes. You know, we tend to be givers. And and that's what I was like. I was this giver. I worked through my breaks.

I worked in public health for a lot of years before I went in my own private practice. And, you know, I would work through breaks. You know, we did whatever we could to help our clients. And then I would go home and I would take care of the people at home. My husband, my mom, who I was primary support from when I was 16, my three girls, they're all adults now. But at one point they were all living with me as as kids and I just did that and I did that and I did that and and I lost myself in that process right and there was one day uh that I was talking to my eldest daughter who was 16 at the time and

she was having trouble with a boy as as you know as teenagers do and I and uh you know, as teenagers do. And I, and, uh, you know, she was giving up the things that she loved. She stopped singing. She stopped dancing. She was doing things she normally wouldn't do to be with this boy. And I give her the great motherly advice that if they care about you, they will encourage you to do those things. And that, uh, you know, whoever is with you should, you know, love everything you're doing. And even if they don't, they should be encouraging you to do the things you're passionate about. And it was great advice. But now you're a 16-year-old.

Well, it was great advice for her because I want my girls to be everything they can be. But guess what? I wasn't modeling that to them. I was modeling to them that they came last or I came last. Everybody else's needs came first and I First of all, they're going to talk about I bring up my mama in every conversation and every podcast episode. So shout out to my mama. I just really love my mama. Right. Beautiful. What you said is one thing I wish parents would stop teaching kids. And that is to sacrifice. I feel like I learned so much from my mom about sacrificing and how to be strong through things that now I sacrifice and I'm strong through everything. And it's like, no, like teach me you being happy or you not having a sacrifice.

So that's pretty, pretty cool that you said that and you realize that yourself, because I kind of wish like my mom is like I listen to her stories and it's like, wow, you didn't have a very good life, you know? Yes. Yes. And I and and that's not what I wanted for my kids. I have three girls. I want them to be everything they can be. I want them to live passionate lives. I want them to be excited to get up in the morning. And that's not what I was teaching them. I was teaching them that they go last. Well, they go first in the morning. And that's not what I was teaching them. I was teaching them that they go last. Well, they go first in my world, but when they get to the point where they have people they love that their needs go last. And that's not for me, that wasn't fair. So I made a lot of changes. I made a lot of changes. And after 21 years, my husband and I separated and divorced, right? We just, we did what was best

for, for us and our family. And, and I began this, this path of really discovering who I was and who I, you know, what I like and what I want to do. And, you know, that path hasn't always been easy, but it's led me down the spiritual path as well. That reminded me that really we're missing that in the world today. We've got all of this wonderful tools and techniques that, you know, regular therapy can give, and they're really great tools. And I still give them in my work today. But we're missing this why.

Why am I doing that? What am I here for? And that spiritual piece really helps people to really tap into that piece of, there's a reason why I'm going through this. And there's a reason why I'm rising through this and there's a reason why I'm rising from this too. All right. Okay. Rise of the Phoenix. First of all, I'm going to say for everybody watching, Leslie said over 30 years and you look like you're 32. So whatever you're doing is working. So I'm about to listen to everything you say. Okay. Thank you so much. You look fabulous. Even though this ain't

that kind of podcast, because I was like 30 years. And then she was like, we're divorced after 21 years. And I'm like, he is crazy, but I'd like to show you. So I don't know if you can see it, but I actually have a Phoenix that's very similar very similar oh beautiful a tattoo of your phoenix oh oh so beautiful beautiful and it makes me just i made me think about it a little bit and i was like okay i have a phoenix as well on my shoulder uh on my shoulder blades. Yes. Yeah. But that is beautiful. Yes. And you know, the, the, the legend of the Phoenix is about rising, rising from the ashes of, you know, your old life and building yourself new. And I truly believe that we all have a light to shine.

And right. That's what I love to see. Sorry to interrupt you. No, no, no. You're fine. Look, I'm going to interrupt you. You can interrupt me. I'm Canadian. We say sorry a lot. Well, you know what? I'm people are making me feel I kind of went through like this journey of self-discovery. And I'm also a cancer survivor and a sexual assault survivor. And that just survived a lot of things. So now I have like an unfiltered, I have a voice and now people don't like what I have to say because I'm no longer letting people step on me or step over me. So, yes. And that is so important, I think, to recognize that there's a lot of people that will love

your voice and love what you have to say. But there's people that, you know, still want to walk on you that don't like what you have to say because you're not letting them do that anymore. Right. Which is one of the things that you learn, isn't it, when you start to speak your voice? I'm going through a level of guilt because my life has come together very...

Trust, I went through the work. So, Leslie, I went through the work. I tore myself down, built myself back up, and I discovered peace. And I feel like this is part of your mission, kind of what you want to teach your daughters, what you want to teach the world, that you can't have peace, like, on this earth. That spiritual relaxation can happen. It can. But my problem is everybody around me is miserable. And I mean, horribly miserable. Like there's so and I'm like, how can I celebrate my successes and my achievement when everybody I know is so sad and hurt and in pain? This this is part of the challenge, isn't it? When we're growing, not everybody grows with us

not everybody chooses to take that path right and you can't make them that's one thing i've really learned is you can't make people choose that path just because you've chosen it you know the change that it can make for you definitely but not everybody wants to take that path and this is the hard piece is choosing who you want to be around isn't it right right now it's like i just want to be around myself because i don't know anybody that's happy well okay crystal is actually one of those she's like one of them annoyingly happy people but other than her right like every it's like bad marriages bad relationships you know bad kids or you know what people would say bad kids are that's a whole that's a whole

another subject for another there's a whole other subject yes yes you hear you have all these conversations and i'm very sensitive and i'm sorry i I'm talking, this is supposed to be about you and we're going to get there. I promise. No, this is all good. I love this. You got me for this time. I'm happy to have this conversation. Well, I tell people in past episodes, so I had a therapist and my therapist quit on me, right? She felt like I no longer needed a traditional sense of therapy. She felt like I was able to actually communicate what I felt and I had no problem voicing my opinion. So she wanted me to do that with other people, with people who I love. So your therapy here is over.

Now go out there and heal. And that's kind of what she did. Yeah. But I have an attachment issues. Yes. I feel some kind of way that she put me. So I said, I'm going to start a podcast and I'm going to invite all these specialists and I'm going to get free therapy. That was an incredibly smart thing to do. I'm telling you.

Right. Because so many people have so many incredible methods and it's like it all can work. You just have to find what works for you. Love it. Love it. I just don't know what's going to work for the people around me. So I want to talk to you about some hypnosis. Can we put them all under at the same time? Well, I can do group hypnosis. Yes. However, they also need to have given me permission to give them hypnosis. I can't trick them and say we're coming to a

dinner and then you just do it. So what do you actually do? What do I actually do? Oh, I do a lot of things. But the way I work with the hypnosis is if somebody has something that they're finding challenging in their life, then, you know, one of the ways I help is with hypnosis. And what that does is, you know, a lot of people hear that and they think about the stage hypnosis, like the chicken, you know, running around like a chicken. And that's not what I do. I can't make you do anything that you don't want to do. However, what I can do when it's in hypnosis, all it is, is that you go into a very relaxed state. You're still fully aware. You're never not aware of what's going on and you can pull yourself out at any time. But all we're wanting to do is to ask this conscious or this critical

mind just to step aside so we can talk to your subconscious. Because your subconscious is where all of those memories are stored. All of those emotions, all of the things that you've gone through in your life are stored there. Those traumas and that pain and that hurts. Right, right. And so through hypnosis, we can talk directly to your subconscious and find where some of those things have happened.

So if I give you an example, I had a client who was experiencing fear. She just was like, I'm so fearful all the time. I don't know, you know, I have some ideas. Of course, I had some things in my life that were fearful. I said, okay, let's do a session and so when we went into her session and we looked to find where the initial event happened that caused that fear she was actually in her crib um and listening to her parents argue and the screaming and everything that she heard as a baby in her crib and so we were able to get to that point and bring in the things that needed to be healed at that point.

So we brought her adult self in to talk to that baby. We brought her mom in to apologize to her for putting that on her. We brought her dad in to apologize for putting that on her and making her feel fearful in that hypnosis session. And then for her, it was really helpful just to bring in a little bit of healing light. And so we brought in that healing light and that energy. And then as we went forward, so after she, baby, the baby version of her felt healed, we were able to go through some of those significant events in her life, and they also became healed. They didn't have that fear. And then we anchored that in with a color for her, which was pink. She loved pink. And so when she

felt fearful, she could imagine the color pink or put on something pink if she wanted to feel confident. And that helped her anchor in that, you know, that healing and that confidence that she was feeling to be able to move forward. Wow. So now is this something that has to be done in person? No, I do this online all the time. OK, I had to talk, right? When we're talking about situation, I recently got a new barber. Shout out

to Jay Rich. He does a great job. Every time I went to the barber shop, I would get nauseous. It's funny because I went today to get a haircut and it was the same thing. My stomach was in knots and I was nauseous. And it's funny because I went today to get a haircut and it was the same thing. My stomach was in knots and I was nauseous. It's a long time. I couldn't think. I try to think hard. Is it a smell? Am I uncomfortable? It was just so much that I didn't understand about these

feelings. So I thought about it and I had always had female barbers. So this was the first time that I had a male barber. Now I was molested a lot when I was younger and it was all by men. So I've always had an issue with men touching me. So now I'm letting this man cut my hair and, you know, he has to play around my lips and, you know, it's, and then it's the movement of the head. And it's like, Hey, watch it, bro. Like, Oh, why are you pushing me? So, you know, it's like a very uncomfortableness. And I was like, is hypnosis something that can help me with this kind of situation? Absolutely.

Now I also have a girl, I can't shut up now. You think you can put me in, you think you could get me to that place you know there's a couple of things when i'm hearing what you're talking about is yes hypnosis we can go to that initial event and we can do it in a way we can pull it back so if it's really emotional for you we can pull it back or like you're watching it on a screen or we can do something that's protective so you don't feel all of that emotion that you felt in that moment, we can heal it in that moment. There's lots of different ways that can happen. And that will move forward to be able to take into these things. But I got to give you a lot

of credit because what you're doing right now is what I would call and maybe this sounds like not the right word, but it's called exposure therapy. And so when you have an anxiety or you're avoiding something because of fear, if you really want to be able to do those things, like have a man barber because he's really good, you know, what you're doing is you're exposing yourself to that in little doses. So you're allowing yourself to be in little doses. So you're allowing yourself to be there, you're breathing through it, you're allowing yourself to bring that anxiety down in the moment. And eventually that will fade with that barber. So yeah, this is this is one of those tools that I talked about that you that you can use in sort of the mainstream therapy,

which is so effective. So for anything that you're avoiding, because of fear, it's called an exposure ladder. So you start small, so it might be visualizing, going to a male barber, you might start there. And then maybe it's just sitting in the barber shop where male barbers are. And then it might be you know what I mean, sitting in the barbershop where male barbers are. And then it might be, you know what I mean? Sitting in the chair and having them stand next to you. And then it might be, okay, just comb my hair. So that you expose yourself a little bit at a time and it's not this big shock.

Yeah, that makes sense. It's another reason why I really, really enjoyed doing this podcast because I never would have thought of this kind of therapy you know I never would have thought about hypnosis hypnosis is like something you see on TV right like bark like a dog

I know it's got you know there are stage hypnotists that can do that that is not well first of all I have signed that that is not something that I do. I would think how weird that has to be. Like, I don't know how, well, you know what, I'm full of years of trauma, but I don't know if I can let somebody like take control of me while I'm barking like a dog. Like, come on, bro. Right. Right. And so, you know, the thing that most people don't know is that there's a lot of people that aren't chosen for that because they wouldn't bark like a dog.

The person that has been specially selected by that stage hypnotist is somebody that would fully aware, not hypnotized, go on the stage and do something silly anyway. Right. Okay. Cool. Right. That's why there's only a few people chosen so if you do good i'll be good at it if it's gonna make these people give me a tip or something

so that's the thing that's the thing about hypnosis is i can't make you do anything that you you wouldn't do anyways and i thank you so much for saying that because of course there's a big misconception and like right now you're literally erasing ignorance. So that's pretty cool. Just in this 20 minutes we've been talking is like, not only am I believing in it, but I'm thinking about doing it. Beautiful. You know, I was skeptical too before I took the training and beautiful you know i was skeptical too before uh before i took the training and you know i had stuff going on i i had vertigo about three years ago like took me right out where you know off of work everything and i thank the universe for that every day now because it's led to me to where i'm going But they suggested hypnotherapy just to see if it would help.

And it didn't help the vertigo, but it helped other things. Just for me to let go, to do some forgiveness of things that I needed to forgive in the past. My parents and all of those things. And I thought, wow, this is really amazing. And you'll ask anybody, and I don't like to, you know, I pray tightly to, you know, my control of my emotions and all of that. But in the end, and it took my, my hypnotherapist a little bit to, you know, get me to that point where I was relaxed enough to allow my critical mind to just sit by. But I was fully aware the entire time. I knew that he was speaking to me. I, you know, I could imagine exactly what he was asking me to imagine. And so

it's amazing. It's very, it's very cool on both sides. So is there like a stage in someone's healing journey where they should seek this kind of therapy or even seek you out? And I guess two part questions, or are you someone who will work with somebody until they get to that point? You can come and see me at any point. I have, you know, like I said, I've been doing this for over 30 years. And so I've worked in all parts of it. I've worked in psych emerge. I've worked in urgent care. I've worked in the community in, you know, with therapy, uh, anxiety, depression, you know, even schizophrenia, bipolar, like I've worked all of it. And so I'm happy if you want to come to me at any point where you're at and we'll decide what's best for you.

Right. I won't just say, OK, let's just do hypnotherapy if I don't think that that's what you need in this moment. So would you refer somebody like I think you should go see a traditional therapist and work with me or we can work together or you can just do it yourself? I mean, you're very easy to talk to. You see, I want to show you. Well, see, I can, that is the thing. I am trained in traditional therapy. And so if I feel like that's what you need in this moment, then that's what I can do. That's the, that's the beauty of it is that I put it all together. And also I'm very intuitive. And so that intuition is also part of that traditional therapy. So it might not be like totally traditional, but it'll be a lot of traditional tools and those things.

But I use my intuition a lot. And which is, I find this funny when I, when I talk about it before I, you know, did more of the studying in the, in the spiritual realms, like the Akashic records and Reiki and all that. But for many, all that, because I was for all of the years before I really, you know, sought that training. I was like, I'm just so good at this. I know stuff like I'm just like really good at this. But what I now know is I was accessing that intuition. I just didn't know it at the time. Is that something that you can also like help person? Do you help people follow their intuition or, or trust their intuition? I guess I should say. Absolutely. Absolutely. 100%. I truly believe that, you know, like I said, in the beginning, we all have a light and, and I'm here to help you find your light because when you,

no, when you light your light you you allow others to light their lights too should they choose and so i think that that's a really important thing in in this world is to have more light shining now sorry is this like a certain age that you do so i will work with anyone i i prefer to work with adults. Children are, I love children and I, I have them. They're all adults now. But that's not where my specialty lies. You just broke his heart because she was going to send all her kids to you. Now I can, but I do have people that I work with that I would recommend for children. So that's the other part of that question that you asked me.

If I think it's outside of my realm, do I refer on? Absolutely. If I think that this is something that's outside of what I can help with or that I'm not the best person, everybody heals differently. You said this earlier. Everyone heals differently. But here's the other part of that. People heal differently at different parts of their life. And so I'm all about really finding that person that can help you the best. And that's pretty dope because there are a lot of people, you know, I always think about the Bible,

talk when Jesus said that someone will come in my name and I'm going to quote it and not quote it correctly. But there's so many people that are out here and say they're for your mental health, but they won't recommend you to someone if they can't help. You know, it's like get all your answers here. So the fact that you are that person just speaks more to how much I'm enjoying you right now. You know, it's just dope. It's it's just dope that's gonna be my word for it it's dope because you know i have interviewed people who's like oh no you're just coming to me for everything and i'm like i thought you was a nutritionist that's not a real example don't go back and look for nutritionist episodes okay right right but you know you talk to people and they're like no you come to me whenever and it's like you know, you talk to people and they're like, no, you come to me whenever. And it's like, you know, I can I will I will confidently say that I can help anybody that comes to me.

What I can also say with that, if I'm not the best person, then I will say that as well. I can help you, but I might not be the best person. And for me, isn't that what's most important? That somebody is seeing the best person for them? How many sessions would it take? Or can it take? Can it take? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm one of those people that are really different. I don't want you to come to me for years on end. I want you to heal as quickly as you can and move on from me. I want you to feel confident that you don't need this anymore. So for me, depending, of course, where, you know, how deep it is and what's going on. I usually say I recommend starting with two sessions. The first session is to kind of get used to the hypnosis.

The second session is to dig in a little bit to wherever that initial event is. And most times after two sessions, I'll say, okay, how are you feeling? Do you want to work on more stuff? Or are you good here? And lots of people will say, you know, I'm good here, but I'll call you when something else comes up. Perfect. Do that. Some people will say, Oh, you know what? That brought up another thing that I'd forgotten about. So I would say, you know,

anywhere between two sessions, Leslie. Yeah, exactly. You know, in two sessions, you'll get a lot of healing. Oh, my God. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm sitting here thinking about, like, my mom who needs my pause this episode. OK, she needs healing. Like she had she's depressed and she's anxious and it's, she worries about everybody and it's stress. And then, you know, she's 71.

Yeah. Her body's 71. Her mind is still 43. So now her mind is upset with her body because her body is not acting like the 43 old mind. And you can't explain none of this to her. And it's like, I know that she needs something, you know? Yeah. How do you convince somebody?

How do you, I mean, it's a totally different question because one thing that she says earlier is like, they have to be ready. But I'm like, ma, you 71, can you be ready already? You know what? This is the challenge. This is such a challenge because we can't. Sometimes we have to see our loved ones suffer.

It's so hard. And you're like, I know I've got this thing. I know it can help. And they're, they just, it won't help if they're not ready for it. It won't help if they don't see the challenge. And my mom is like, her issue is I don't want to talk about it. Cause it's like, we'll go talk to therapists. I want to talk about it. I'm like, you talking about someone that you don't know that ain't going to judge you. They probably really don't care what you're saying. They just going to charge

you a little bit of money. I would tell them everything. You know what I mean? I had my psychiatrist so crazy. She was like, you thought that for real. I'm not worried about this judgment, you know. What's cool about you is that sense that I would never feel judgment talking with someone like you. So that's pretty dope that you give that off as well. I appreciate that. That is really one of the things that I that's really important to me that you feel like this is a safe space. Definitely. Definitely. And we're big on safe spaces. I kind of want to talk about spirituality just for a moment. All right. Let's do it. This is another struggle of mine. And it's you know what? I grew up, you know, you believe in God and sins. I grew up believing in sins. So it's really hard for me.

I was molested many, many years, probably, I'd say it was about 14 years, but it was from the time I was young. It was a long time. And it's like, I feel like I didn't see God nowhere in those moments, you know? So sometimes it's hard to believe in God because it's like, where were you when, you know, this was going on? Because, you know, God, I could have used you. But then I'm also the same person that when I talk, I'd be like, God, I'm not talking to you. This is a no negative consequence kind of conversation because it's like, I don't want to offend it if it is real. I don't want to offend it. But sometimes it's just hard to believe it's real. Once again, because I'm surrounded by miserable people.

Right. You can go through all the prayer and the best wishes and you just want people to be okay. And now the things that you say come across as criticism. So now you don't say things, but now they're taking advantage of you. So now you're like, oh, you know, and it's this pattern. And Leslie, I feel like you can help us get out this pattern.

You just like threw a whole swath of stuff at me there. I know, right? Starting with spirituality. So here's what. Leslie's like, you know what? I can't help you, but I know somebody that can. No, no, no, no. We're going to look at me.

I put my sleeves up. We're going to. OK, so the first the first part of that is is talking about God and beliefs. So let's start with that piece. I was raised in a Christian home. I was raised. My grandfather was a minister in the Salvation Army. So it was like fire and brimstone. And, you know, I was raised in that. And there was somewhere along the line that I started to wonder as an adult, this all kind, this all loving God that I keep hearing about, but I keep hearing there's so much judgment with this. And I thought this doesn't make sense to me. And so I went on a

little bit of a mission to find out where my beliefs are. And I believe in an all loving God, a nonjudgmental God, a God who is, you know, divine. But what I've also found out is that each one of us is divine. Yes, we are human and we are divine. And we all have a connection to whatever you want to call it. God, somebody, one of my friends calls it Gus, God, universe, spirit. Okay. And I know, I know someone that always says the source. Right. So whatever, whichever way, I believe we're all talking about the same thing. That I kind of believe too. I say kind of, cause you just know I'm still questioning,

but I do say the same thing. I'm like, we're all kind of looking for the same thing, essentially. Right. Right. We just had this set of rules. One person learned this set of rules that went with it, and this other person learned this set of rules that went with it. What if there really aren't any rules? That those are human rules on how to connect with the universe or God or spirit. Such a dope answer. Never looked at it like that. Right. And so we can, we can have whatever relationship we want with God or spirit or universe in whatever way feels good to us. That's the way I believe. Anyways,

not everybody will agree with that. Absolutely not. Do I say the Christian church with that. Absolutely not. Do I say the Christian church is wrong? Absolutely not. If that's what helps you to have a relationship with God, then do it. Well, it was two important things that you said in your statement. You said my and I. So we're talking about you. So we're speaking against anything anybody else believes because i i also believe in the right to believe in whatever you need to you know if you want to pray to mickey mouse then let's pray to mickey mouse then do it right right and i think uh i truly believe that the relationship that you have with god in whatever way that is is exactly the way it's supposed to be for you

in this moment in this moment. Okay. That's pretty cool. Cause I was going to say my relationship is very weird. But if you want to change that, you can, you can explore. And I was going to ask you that, but then I felt like you kind of shut me up when you was like, she kind of like already said it, but I was going to ask like how, it's hard, it's hard to find the information that's not already biased. You know, so much bias in any information you find. And it's like, I get exhausted with trying to read through the lines. Right, right.

So I kind of, it's probably a lot like you were saying, I do a lot of things naturally. If I start to get stressed, I take my shoes off. I need to be grounded. I don't know why I do it. I just do, you know. That's a perfect thing to do. Yeah, and people always tell me,

they're like, you just do weird things. Like I know when I need to fast and where I just don't need to eat nothing. And, you know, it's like I listen to those things, but I don't know why I'm doing them. But I feel like because of it, there is a connection that I have. I just won't let go of being completely open

because I've already been hurt so much and I can't search for a God and then it'd be completely different than what I think he's supposed to be. Right. So here's what I'm going to tell you is God is whatever you want him to be. Right. So here's what I'm going to tell you, is God is whatever you want him to be.

Him or her, it. They, whomever you want God to be is who he, she is. Some people believe in a female God. Some people believe in a male God. Some people believe in creator, mother earth.

Whatever. Definitely. And you can believe in them all. I used to have a people believe in creator, mother earth, whatever. Definitely. And I believe in them all. I used to have a friend who used to say, ah, woman. Right. Right. Just like Gus. I used to have a friend, too. I was thinking about it. They used to chant and she used to like get in like a meditation pose and like close her eyes. And I'm like, oh, crap. She's about to get in this. And she would be like, Brad Pitt. I'm like, are you really chanting Brad Pitt? And she was like, yeah, they told me to chant what makes me feel good. And Brad Pitt made her feel good. So there you go. So really dope that you said that. So now let's talk about, so you, how hard was it for you to like to let go and fall into your spirituality? Oh, well, you know, there was this piece, I think, that when I kind of left the church, you know, I sang in the worship team. I did all of that piece.

And there was just a bit of hurt that happened in the church that led me to feel like, come on, there's got to be more than this. Right, right. But what we forget is that people running the churches and all of them are human. And we have this human side of us that, you know, kind of sometimes makes really crappy choices, right? Or sometimes selfish or those kinds of things. And so for me, it was like, I just don't like the way I feel here anymore. And I really had to say, I just don't believe that God judges us so harshly and that only these people can go to heaven.

Right. And the rest of them go to hell. Like what kind of all loving God does? This was my exploration of all loving God sends people to hell. Right. And then these people to heaven, like what, you know, what is that? And so when I went on this exploration, for me, it was discovering that we're all connected definitely we're all connected to each other we're all connected to god and to the divine and and that we just connect in whatever way we need to right and that i needed to have less judgment on the ways other people were

connecting and just know that i'm connecting in the way that I need to. And to share that. I'm one of those non-judgemental type people. I think sometimes because of it, though, I'm very blunt. And it gets taken the wrong way. And it's just because I don't care. I mean, it's like, not that I don't care. I don't care to put a label on what you're doing. Right. No, I don't care. I mean, it's like, not that I don't care. I don't care to put a label on

what you're doing. Right. No, I care about you, but I don't care about labeling and telling you what's right or wrong because I believe, you know, my, my father passed away two years ago now. And I kind of beat myself up about it because I don't, I feel like I don't mourn him the way I should. Oh, the should stick. Right. And I talked to my brothers and like, it's very unfortunate. My older brother, my father shared a birthday. And so I asked him the other day, like, Hey, what you're doing for your birthday? And he's like, I'm not even thinking about my birthday. And it kind of was like the same thing last year. And you know, my dad's favorite chip was wise potato chips. So he'll see a picture and he'll send me a picture of it and you know it's like he's always finding things to

remind him of my dad we're opposite i actually purposely put two bags of wise potato chips in my office to remind me of my dad i have a t-shirt that I put in a chair next to him. He rides in my car with me, basically. I got his t-shirt. We made t-shirts for his funeral. I got that t-shirt over my passenger seat and he rides with me. It's a constant reminder of his presence. I felt like I wasn't mourning correctly and I wasn't doing these things. But then I kind of realized, number one, it's hard to mourn someone that you feel is with you still, you know? And then number two, I realized that I don't mourn because I have no guilt. And what I mean by that is that even if I was the most fucked up person at that time, I was always the best person I could be to my father.

You know, so even if it was the worst person and people would be like, you're like a murderer. I was still the best person to my dad. So there was never a moment that I could not be the best and wasn't the best to him. So I find comfort in that, you know, and I know in my journey now that he's with me, he's walking this with me and he's proud of me, you know, but it's still hard when I see other people suffering and I'm like, oh my God, I need to be suffering. Why aren't you suffering? You know, it's, it's, first of all, you have this amazing, your dad is with you. Whether you have that t-shirt there or not, he is with you.

And it's beautiful that you allow that. But the second thing, everybody mourns differently. And you said this clue that tells me why you're mourning in the way you are. Guilt. You don't have guilt. Guilt twists our emotions. You know, it makes them hard to let go because guilt is so heavy.

And for those that might feel guilty about things that happened in that relationship over the years, they're going to grieve in different ways than you. And because you know he's with you, you're right. Why would you ever grieve someone that's here with you? Right, right. Definitely. So, you know what? Leslie, I lied. I told somebody else they was my favorite person, but you were my favorite person. Dad, you made me a liar, Leslie. How you going to do that?

I didn't know you at the time. It was your favorite person at the time. So you didn't lie. My mom, we used to say, once again, my mom, but it was always the same. I don't have a favorite. My favorite is whoever I am talking to at the time you know and it was always kind of like okay mama i see you

you said something earlier about the records acoustic records acoustic records yes what is that i've been hearing about i didn't know how to pronounce it right i've been hearing so much about it i have a friend of mine who's, he's, he like practices, I don't know how to say it, but like Nuwabian type of things and ancient Egypt beliefs or whatever. Okay. Yeah. I probably guessed that all up. But he's always talking about these records and I've been like, well,

dad, I can't just stream it. So you want to know what I'm talking about when I say I can go into the Akashic Records. Okay. Okay. So the simplest way to describe the Akashic Records is where your soul's journey is recorded. Because you did say that. You said soul in your description.

You said you was like a soul. Soul care coach. Yeah. Soul care coach. I was going to ask you about that. So I'm glad that came up. Yes. And so this is how I, you know, I help with that is with the Akashic records. So the Akashic records is where your soul's journey is recorded. It's it, you know, and when we think about it,

some people think of it as a library. For me, it's a knowing. So I access the wisdom of your soul and its journey to just gain some different insights than maybe what we have in just this, you know, in this humanness of us. And so it's a really amazing way to just, you know, find out sometimes there might be something. And if you don't believe in past lives, then probably a Kaushik record isn't for you. But there might be something in a past life that's impacting you now. Or there might be something at a soul level or an energetic level that the records has that, you know, we could, you know, use and let you know about that could help you to heal in this lifetime like access these records and not know you're accessing them okay because i have a lot of situations where i um know things i feel like i should know and it'd be really really weird okay so so there's

a couple of things yes you can so uh what what that's called is clear cognizance when you just know stuff and you know like i said i thought i was this really and i and i i am a good therapist but i was like i just know stuff and i'm really amazing at this right i was accessing my clear cognizance clear cognizance which is knowing. It's an intuitive knowing. What's that? It still means I'm smart. Very smart. You're smart.

Absolutely. Okay. Because you're listening to the, you're listening to the, to the knowing. And so that is how I get a lot of my intuition is it's just like, I just know stuff. And intuition. Right. And so some people will hear things. Right. Which is the clairaudience. Some people will sense things. Clairsentience. So there's lots of these different ways that you can be intuitive. My mom always said I was highly logical. You were sorry that I was highly logical.

Like you were highly logical. She always thought that I was just real logical. You were sorry? That I was highly logical. You were highly logical? Joey thought that I was just real logical. Like you're a highly logical person. So that's why that makes sense to you. And it's like, rude. I would actually say the opposite. It made sense to you because you were open to things being not maybe as they seem in front of you right right so i would say the opposite just just in you know and talking to you you know thus far but you know what it's that knowing that is your intuition it's giving you information and then it's just starting to build the confidence in that but when i access the akashic records on your behalf, so if, if, you know, somebody came to me and said, I want you to read my Akashic records. All right. You know, once you give me permission, then, um, I say a prayer, we get into the records. I let you know what's coming up as information for

you in this moment. And then we close them and, and move on. Um, so I can't just go, you can't just say, Hey, I think I want to know something for my mom. I can't just go into your mom's Akashic records, right? So I can't just go into somebody's Akashic records, but I truly believe that I was accessing a bit of that through all those years. I just didn't know I was. Right. Right. So she's in yours right now. Oh, years. I just didn't know I was. Right, right. So she's in yours right now. Uh-oh. I give you permission. What's going to happen? What'd they say?

You know, I got to go play the power, the mega millions, because it's like, what, 910 million? Is it? Yes. Is there some numbers in these records that you can get? So here's the funny thing. My mentor, we talked about that because we laugh about this a lot. Can I get the lotto number? And he says, well, you might get them, but they might not be for this one. Right. Right. Right. You know, so it's, it's always, we think of things in such a linear way because that's what we've been taught.

That's how we've been brought up. Everything's in sort of, okay, I'll get that, and then I'll put it in, and then I'll win. But time and the Akashic records are in that spiritual realm is so different than what it is for us in our humanness. Definitely. Now, there would be people out here that would say, like, hocus pocus and all this is some bull crap. Yeah. And I probably used to be one of them people or whatever um i might have been too

hello you too crystal i always crystal goes to like a medium and stuff so like she's a lot more old she's like probably she's just really open yeah and uh So I guess my question is, how can me? I'm going to talk about me because I always speak about me. Absolutely. I'm on that threshold of knowing that there's more. Yep. And I don't know if it's fear from what I'm going to find out or it's just doubt that it doesn't exist or it won't it won't exist for me like it exists for other people or it's not going to be life-changing so these like all you know it's

like you talk to some people and they're like i could float now and you're like damn i want to float you know and then i try to float and i break my tailbone. Right, right. So here's the thing. And, you know, my mentor and my teacher has been wonderful for me. And I will definitely say I do not know at all about this. But I do know that we connect in the way we're supposed to. And it is life changing when we understand that we have the same gifts as, you know, like crystal, your medium you go to. You could do that, too, if you explore that. You could have clear cognizance. You already do.

Actually, it's just about building that confidence in it and about you know training a little bit more and finding the proper people to to you know to be able to access those things because you're right you know when we go into the woo space I like to call it the woo space right and and in fact I have a partner who's a very good businesswoman and and I who have run a summit called Embrace the Woo. And so it's just all about all the different forms of woo that are out there. And next time you got to invite me. Thank you. Absolutely. Absolutely. I will invite you for sure, because everybody resonates differently with different kinds of woo. Right. For some people will be the astrology. Other people might like the mediumship.

You know, people come to me because they like the Akashics or the hypnotherapy is not quite mainstream. It's a little bit. It's kind of in between. And I'm like that, too. I kind of want i want the astrology i want you to hypnotize me can we go into these records uh but you know what i like meditation my issue is my brain i can't i don't know how to meditation is horrible okay yes one thing i'm in you can tell by this interview because i have so much I want to say to you. And I'm mad because it's like we got nine minutes left and it's like nothing. So you got to promise that you could come. You're going to come back. Absolutely. I'm going to hold you a few more minutes. OK, but yeah, come back. Absolutely.

Absolutely. This is fun. It's so much stuff that, you know, that I want to ask. And, you know, that are bad. And I saw and it's like, OK, I'm being selfish. OK, it's my free therapy. Yes. that I want to ask and, you know, that I read and I saw. And it's like, OK, I'm being selfish, OK? It's my free therapy. Yes. I'll pay for something, I promise. So is the records your past and your future? Yes, it can.

It is your soul's journey. And so there is, I would say that I haven't honed my psychic skills yet. And so I would say, if you want more looking into that more future, I can, I can sense sort of a direction that maybe would be good for you. You still have the choice and where you go with it and where that could go. Right. However, I can get a sense of, you know, this seems to be the way that they're, you know, the records are kind of saying this might be a good place to go with this. I get a lot of people coming to me thinking about different kinds of business, businesses that they want to go into. And so I can go into the records and I can kind of say, well, often it's actually often it's, why can't you do both? Why

can't you meld both? They're like, hello. I didn't even think about that. I know that's why we go into the records because okay. Yeah. Well, but you know, I can say, Hey, this is sort of what's kind of coming out of the records right now. Um, but I'm not a psychic. Right. So I have three questions real quick. Yes. Sorry. And I'm going to shoot them off. The first one is,

can someone be taught to access these records? Yes. The second or third question is, is that something you will recommend? And then the third question is, should you access your own records? Okay.

So the first one is, yes, absolutely. You can train to access the Akashic Records. Second, absolutely. If this is something that you find really fascinating and you want to learn more about it, absolutely. I have a fantastic teacher that I can recommend to you who I would trust and I have trusted with my life. And she teaches all sorts of intuitive things

just about even accessing your intuition. The third thing is, do we access our own, we can access our own. It's challenging to access your own records, because your own head gets in the way. Right. Right. And so what, here's the thing, I'll go into my records, and I'll create something for business. So if I'm like, Oh, I want to send an email out, I'll go into the records. And I'll ask, you know, for this to be written and sent out for the highest good of me and for those that are receiving it and I'll write or I'll plan my business within the records and it makes a huge difference actually in in being in my own records and and doing business planning or you know those kinds of things or even if I'm speaking I didn't go in today

but I am accessing my intuition today. But, you know, sometimes when I'm speaking, because I speak a lot on different stages, I'll go into my Akashic Records and just, you know, I just want to, what I'm speaking to be of impact and for the highest good of those that are here listening and for the highest good of me and Rise of the Phoenix. And then I've just, it'll just, it's with me while I'm speaking. And so whenever. That's how I use my records more than actually accessing for information. Cause it's really hard to let that head part kind of get out of the way my problem is i feel like you need to be quiet for all this and i'm never quiet and it's

so hard to get quiet i finally have learned to play with my imagination because that's how much i can't quiet myself down that always i it raging. And actually my friends and everybody makes fun of it. And they call it my minions, my minions at work. I see your minions at work. And, you know, so. Yeah. Yeah. So I order sometimes to go to sleep.

I have to get my minions something to do. So I will go deeply into like an imagination because I can't go to a quiet place. But I will kind of like bore myself out and then fall asleep. Like I would purposely think about the most boring thing my means could be doing and kind of like fall asleep that way. But it's like, if that's what works for you, then do it. Now here's the thing. I want to meditate, but then I meditate about what my meditation room was going to look like. Here's the thing that I think a lot of people don't understand is we can train our brain our brain thinks 24 7 that's what it's there for it that's its job is to think 24 7 and over the

years your brain has just learned that this is the way you think you just go go go go go go go go and you don't slow down but the thing is you can train your brain to slow down. It's just going to take time. So if you think about training a puppy, right, when you first get a puppy and you train it to sit, does it sit the first time? No. Does it sit the second time? No. Does it sit? It takes a long time to train a puppy to sit. even after a puppy is trained to sit it doesn't always sit right but when you have the patience to train your brain right it takes time so the way i usually recommend is to slow it down is to start just building in um presence or just quiet in things that you're already doing so So it could be like walking. Do you walk? I walk from my bedroom. It's a trick question.

It's a trick question. I don't do nothing. If I got to be physical, okay, you was my favorite person, Leslie. But now you tell me I got to walk. It's a trick question. I walk from my bedroom to the kitchen. I walk from the kitchen to the bathroom. I walk from my bedroom to the kitchen. I walk from the kitchen to the bathroom. I walk,

you know, from my car into, into a building. We, we move all the time. All that stuff I said, I'll take it back. Yeah. Right. I call those transition steps. And those are steps that we often let our mind go with everything we need to go do in the day. You know, when you wake up in the morning, you go to the kitchen, if you're a coffee drinker, you put your coffee on and you're already thinking about all the things you need to do in the day. I can tell you've already thought about them. You can take the five seconds that it takes to go from your bedroom to the kitchen to just slow your thoughts down and think about how your body is moving. So we're giving you something different to think about. So you think about how your body is moving. So we're giving you something different to think about.

So you think about the amazingness of your muscles, how your muscles are moving to balance you, how your arms are swaying when you're walking, how your foot moves in front of the other. So you're really focused on that and slowing those thoughts down. Just for five seconds. I'm not asking a lot, but just start with five seconds. I'm not asking too hard about the way he's walking. Right. Now I'm over here stressing and having anxiety about what I'm going to think about for

these five seconds. You don't have to think about anything but what your body is doing, right? I'm going to try that. I'm going to try that. Yeah. And you know what? Your brain will go, hey, but this is when we think about all the things we need to do in the day. Right. And you just acknowledge it. I know. But right now I want to focus on what my body's doing. I know. I'm really, really trying to learn how to act my wage. And that's my, you know, it's like I always go above and beyond and I ain't signed up for all that. And I'll be trying to remind myself just to act your wage. And I think some peace will come with that.

So now the rise of the Phoenix. Talk about it. Talk about my rise of the Phoenix. Well, you know, I talked a little bit about this, that I truly believe that everyone has a light to shine and that everyone has the ability to rise and shine that light from from the ashes of their old life. And so that's what I'm here for, is to help you to rise your phoenix in whatever way that is. And where, you know, starting wherever you are. My phoenix is actually my spirit animal, I believe. And I have risen her several times in my life. And so I really believe it's important to help other people to rise

from, you know, often what they feel like is ashes and to shine their light. I feel like the butterfly is my spirit animal. Beautiful. But because they're always around me, maybe not here. There's one thing, I moved to New York. I'm from Virginia. Virginia butterflies, New York, you see moths.

I'm like, can I get a butterfly? They're just gray butterflies. Maybe I just need to be the butterfly. I just need to be the butterfly for New just need to be the butterfly for new york right that's what we're doing but i've always had like this connection and they used to like my whole life land on me people used to joke they used to call me the butterfly whisperer because if you saw me there was a butterfly around i used to even let them eat the little dead i just take my socks off i'm like go ahead give me a manicure eat the little dead. I used to take my socks off. I'm like, go ahead, give me a manicure. Eat the little dead skin off my nails. You know, yeah, for you, I bet that is very symbolic when you think about what the butterfly went through to become the butterfly, right?

Definitely. And I'm going to tell you something else weird that happened. I woke up the other the other day right and there was a caterpillar in my bed and people like it wasn't a caterpillar they tried and but I'm like no it did the little humpy thingy I thought at first right at first I thought it was like a centipede yep but centipedes are so fast you know yeah and he but he was just and I was like okay I don't know how it got there. How, I'm like, I got screens on the window. I'm on the third floor. How the hell it get in my bed? Maybe you brought him from Virginia.

Well, he been here for two years. You know what? Here's the thing. Is that when you're open to signs or you're open to things, you know, things happen. And sometimes we just can't explain it. And that's okay to not be able to explain everything that happened. I always felt like I'm like, ain't nobody going to believe me about this caterpillar. But I didn't even think to take like a video of it.

I just wanted to rescue him and like put him outside so that he didn't die you know yeah if you saw that caterpillar then i believe you saw that caterpillar you know what and that's it did the humpy thing yeah it did it was just like the humpy thing and you know that's the caterpillar you know what i'm saying the caterpillars do the humpy things right right so i know this conversation today has probably been a little bit of everywhere. And this just goes to show you what's inside my head. But is there anything that you wanted to say to our audience that you didn't get to say? You know, there's there's a few things, but this is what I think is really one of the most important things. I think it's really important that you give yourself grace,

that we are all walking this earth. We're all making mistakes. We're all falling. We're all, you know, all of us are trying to figure out where we're at and where we're going. And we tend to be really hard on ourselves and judgmental. So give yourself grace. In fact, grace is innately ours. And so just allow it to flow a little bit more towards you as you're, you know, wandering on this journey in the earth and discovering who you are. Give yourself grace. Now, can you give yourself too much grace? No. And I ask that because, you know, when you think about compassion, people would be like, oh, you're too compassionate. And I feel like grace kind of falls in that category where it's like, you know, you're being too graceful. So I believe that you can never give enough grace. Now, grace doesn't mean that you allow people to take advantage of you.

There's a difference. You can still have grace for someone and have boundaries. Right? You can still, you know, have grace and compassion and still have boundaries. And so, no, I don't believe that we can have too much grace. That doesn't mean that we get walked on or that we are taken advantage of, but you can send. So if there's someone that you're having a hard time with, and you're trying to be full of grace, and it's getting tougher and tougher. This is full of shit now. Right? This is bullshit, right? Right. Okay, you can just say, all right, I am sending you away with love and light.

I am sending you away with love and light, and I'm not taking this on anymore. I like that. Like, I always, my saying has always been, I send back all energies that are not mine, that I like yours better. Because send it away with love and light. You know what I'm saying? Let's add some, let's add a little bit of grace to that. We're going to send you away, but we're going to do it with love.

Exactly. Exactly. A little bit of grace. And so they can deal with their shit on their own and you don't have to deal with it, but you've given them grace enough to send them away with light and love. Right. And now I kind of have like one more question and it might still be in two and I'm so sorry. I promise I'm going to let you go. We actually are very big on safe places. We feel like our podcast is a safe place to have these open conversations and dialogues. And I believe, and I think most people who believe in healing believe that a person should have a safe place. What are your thoughts on that? And what advice can you give somebody who feels they're not safe or safe to heal, I would say? Yeah, so absolutely. I agree 100 percent that I feel like that is something that is important for me to offer as a safe space for people to come in as they are, not as they think they need to be, but as they are. And so I truly believe that it is important. And what do I want to say about it is if you are in a spot where you don't feel safe to be yourself, and I'm not talking physical safety, although that can be included in this, just safe to be yourself. Then you need to find another space to be in.

It goes back to the advice that I gave my daughter, and that if you're not around people that are encouraging you to be the best that you can be, to be passionate, to love the things you're doing, then you're in the wrong space, and you need to find another space to be in. And it's not you that's wrong. It's just maybe the space you're in right now. And it's kind of crazy. I feel like I saw a commercial about the same topic and it's going to bother me too. I think about what I was watching. It might've been like a TikTok, but someone created something like that. And they were like, they were actually moving an object and they were showing like, it doesn't fit here. It doesn't fit here. It doesn't fit here,

but Hey, look, it fits here, but look how long it took me to find where I finally fit. So it is a journey. It absolutely is. On this journey, we need grace. And I think it's through that, that you're going to find that safe place that you can start being able to heal. I absolutely agree 100 percent. And if you need some advice in some direction we're going to tell you to call Leslie. I'm actually okay wait one more question sorry and it's okay two two two I promise. Hypnosis could it really help with people smoking? I heard that people have stopped smoking. Good to know. I know you said you need my mama

permission, but we might have to work some way. I'm her power of attorney. Okay. So here, hypnosis only works if you really want to quit. She does, but she doesn't. My mom is like a stress anxiety. She doesn't get

anxiety. I think we'd have to work on the anxiety first and start to reduce that. I am good at that. I can tell you that. I'm actually, for real, for real, I'm going to put you in contact with my mama. I might call you for myself too, but we'll talk about that later. I'm happy to do that. Okay. And now just a little silly question. We all have our guilty pleasures. Yes. So before we let you go. Yes. You got to tell our audience what is yours?

My guilty pleasure. Like mine is I like the Spice Girls. Oh. And I still will rock them. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want. Oh, there is nothing to feel guilty about that one. I'm telling you, nothing to feel guilty about that. You know, it's hard for me to say a guilty pleasure

because I really worked on not feeling guilty about things. Maybe a good glass of red wine. Oh my God, that was such a perfect answer. No one has ever told us that answer. That is the answer I was looking for. Like in all these episodes, that is the answer I'm looking for, the guilt part. You know, let's remove that guilt from our lives. Exactly, exactly. Because I think it's no place for condemning and healing. There is not. And there's no reason to feel guilty about a lovely glass of red wine,

because how do you enjoy those pleasures? Right. If you are feeling guilty about it, let's take the load of guilt off. Let's give ourselves some grace. Right. But I do want to mention this because you might, this might be of interest that it's my birthday coming up. And for my birthday, I'm also giving a free group healing session coming up. For anybody that wants to attend, it's going to be a little bit of training, a little bit of a group Akashic, and a little bit of a group hypnosis. Oh, we dare. So if you want to, you know, if you want to come and join me for that session, there's two of them and they're on the 2nd of August. So I'll send you that information.

Definitely. Is that information I can share with our people? Absolutely. Whoever wants to come, I'm happy for you to come. That's what it's for. And it may just be a regular thing that might happen once a month. Oh, no, that'll be cool. And we would definitely support that and advertise it. We're going to send you a pillow. This is my little comfort support pillow because I'm single. So if you want to date me, no, I'm just joking. I don't know if my husband would really appreciate that

i wasn't talking to you i was talking to other people out there you know what i could maybe you know there might be some people that i know well i am gay now so i i uh you know i i do know those too. We're here. We'll email each other. We're going to talk. I do know people that are gay too. I think we all do.

Yes, absolutely. We love you for loving us. Thank you so much. I have to promise to come back on. Absolutely. I promise I will like be a little more serious. Probably not, but I will ask a lot more questions. Okay.

I have a friend who says if it's not fun, it's not worth doing. Definitely. Definitely. So I've enjoyed this immensely. Thank you for, for having me here with you and allowing me to share all of this. Definitely. And we want you to come back and share more and allowing me to share all of this. Definitely.

And we want you to come back and share more because there is so much more to Leslie. And we thank you guys for watching. And we will see you next time.