These Fukken Feelings Podcast© - Unraveling the Subconscious: Insights into our Hidden Depths with Jerry Emeka | Season 3 - Episode 305

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Send us a Text Message.Episode 305 marks a significant milestone in the 'These Fukken Feelings' podcast. In this first-ever solo interview host by Rebecca; she takes an enlightening journey into the realm of emotional intelligence with the celebrated speaker and mind coach, Jerry Emeka. Known for his captivating blend of humor and wisdom, Jerry brings his rich experience to bear as he deep dives into understanding how our emotions shape our life and relationships.In this profound discussion, ...

you don't have to be positive all the time it's perfectly okay to feel sad angry annoyed frustrated scared and anxious having feelings doesn't make you a negative person it doesn't even make you weak it makes you human and we are here to talk through it all we welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast a safe space for all who needs it. Grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now. Welcome to these fucking feelings podcast. I am Rebecca. I'm here as you can see solo today as our friend Micah is still under the weather and our producer Crystal is still under the weather. And our producer, Crystal, is still on that little sabbatical with her family. And so I do have with me here, Jerry. He is going to hang with us this evening. So Jerry, why don't you take it over and tell us a little bit about, you know,

you and what better way to hear about you than from you. Well, nice to meet you, Rebecca. I am Jerry Emeka. I'm a dude. I'm a father. I live on a farm in Hawaii, and my mission in life is to remind people who they are and how all of this works. And I'm excited to be on this podcast to hopefully drop some,

I don't know, nuggets of gold that might help shift some people's perspective and outlook on life. That's great. That's great. I'm really excited for you to be on here today. There was some things when I was doing a little research on you. I had read this. I'm going to read this little thing about you that I saw on your website because I thought it was so great. I don't normally do this sort of thing because I like the people to just tell us about themselves. But I thought that this was so well written. So if you don't mind, I'm going to read what this was on your website. Yeah.

So you are an imagination coach, keynote speaker, and facilitator who enjoys lightening a spark in people's eyes by guiding you to guiding them to discover themselves burn their burning desire release old stories neutralize self-doubt and frustration and recognize ever-present fulfillment like that uh you he helps i'm just going to read it like it's written he helps you see i'm not going to try to change the pronouns he helps you conceive of the individual that you're truly here to be and realize that in order to make a change in the world, you must first reimagine your concept of self and hold it as if it has already happened. I really like that too. The way that's said, as William Blake so profoundly said, all that you behold, though it appears without, it is within. Your wonderful human imagination is in which this world of mortality is but a shadow. In other words, life isn't happening to you, but rather through you. So I think that's a pretty good introduction to you as a whole or what your goal is with people in general.

Yeah, that was a long version of what I said. What? Yeah, so yeah, do you have a question or you just want to just jump on that? Yeah. Well, no, no question specifically right now, but more about I just want to talk about you, how you started and, you know, what, you know, what's on your journey, that sort of thing. Got it. Got it. Yeah. Um, that, you know, that question is always interesting to me because it's like the day I'm feeling determines how long the story is going to be. Right. Cause it was like, you know, I was, I was born on a, on a spring day in 1982. No. Right. You could go back all the way back there. Right. Right. But, but but but more directly about i mean obviously you read that on my on my website so i um i i'm a former actor i'm a former radio producer and and dj

turned actor and producer and while i was uh pursuing my career in acting, I had a spiritual awakening. This was around 2013, 2014 or something. And I started waking up to the fact that the world didn't seem to be working the way I thought it worked. That shocker of, whoa, everything's falling apart. Why do I feel so lonely even though I'm surrounded by people? Why do I keep making terrible, terrible choices? And, um, and yet I would also just be producing like amazing work. Like I was, I was doing good work, but I wasn't ever feeling filled or satisfied.

And, um, and through that journey, I ended up, I'm skipping so much story, obviously, but through that journey, I ended up discovering about, um, a teacher, a spiritual teacher named Neville Goddard who taught that imagination creates reality. And like that quote, you said he would often quote William Blake from like the 1700s who would say all that you behold, though it appears without it is within your own wonderful human imagination in which this world of mortality is but a shadow i was like wait a minute i work in a whole industry of of imagination i'm an actor you know i produce shows i do all this stuff and i was like wait a minute you mean to tell me that this whole thing is in my imagination ah that can't be true but i went down that rabbit hole anyways. I came out of the other end completely transformed and completely integrated with this work. When I had that spiritual awakening and learning about manifesting and learning about who I truly am, who we truly are, I ended up finding myself from New York back to Houston, where I'm from, to Chicago.

And while living in Chicago, you know, I was kind of living high and mighty. I was doing my thing, look at what I've created. But I wasn't actually happy there. And COVID happened in 2020. And a friend of mine hit me up out of the blue and she was like, Hey, Jerry, can you coach me? I was like, uh, I mean, I can help you. I don't know about coaching. I mean, I, I mean, everything I've taught you, you can read about it. You don't need a coach. And she was like, no, no, no. I insist. I need the help. I can't focus. I, my grades are failing. I think I'm

about to lose my, my boyfriend. I need your help. And I was like, all right. And she offered to pay me and we worked together. We did a four week thing and she ended up passing with flying colors. Um, she's now married to the dude that she thought she was going to lose. And that was the start of my business. And, um, my whole mission and with Imaginarium, um, is again, like I said, in the beginning is to remind people who they are and how this works. And so I've just been doing that ever since. I now have a business that's been around for three years and it's growing at the pace that it's growing. And I'm always happy to work with visionaries and leaders and creatives who find themselves like in a hamster wheel. Same problem, same issues over and over again.

They're doing all the right things, but it just doesn't seem to click. The fulfillment just isn't there. It's the same frustrations. It's the same problems that's probably been with them for 20 years. And they can't seem to make that shift. And I just teach people what I learned and what helped make shifts in my life. Right. Yeah.

I saw on your website also the hamster wheel to Ferris wheel. I really like that analogy. It's a really unique way to look at things and put things into perspective and really way about how you could help people get from like A to B. You know, I really liked the way you put that. Yeah. Sorry, were you going to say something? Yeah, I was going to say about the Hamster Wheel to Ferris Wheel, that program.

That was a fun one. The interesting thing and the reason why I created that was a lot of people I find, again, have that Groundhog's Day day hamster wheel and all this stuff and they think they need to leave their career or leave their job or leave their relationship right or go you know go to the gym and work out or whatever it is there's some physical thing that they think they need to do but what they don't realize is the thing that they're doing in the physical, the physical actions that they're taking is still coming from the same state of consciousness that caused the problem in the first place. And so they leave the job, they go and get another job, but they seem to run into

the same problem again, right? Right. Like I had a client who just had this terrible relationship with their boss. And as we work together, you know, she's like, ah, screw it, blah, blah, blah. She ends up getting fired from her boss. And I was like, I'm telling you, you need to revise. And revision is a whole thing. You need to revise your relationship with your boss or else you're going to repeat it. And sure enough, she did the revision and her next boss was amazing.

It was complete 180 degree representation of the same boss or the old boss. And, you know, having that conversation with her, I asked, I was like, so what do you think if you wouldn't have revised, which is forgiveness, if you wouldn't have revised that, do you think that, do you think you would have come into knowing the same type of relationship with your new boss? She was like, oh yeah, 100%. Cause you, that's when you start to recognize that actually everybody's actually mirroring you. Everybody, everything is mirroring you.

As my old self would hated that idea. Like, oh, these people are doing it to me nah man sorry to break it to you sorry to break it to you yeah i try to tell my husband that a lot you know we're feeding off your energy you're the one who is bringing all your attention from wherever bringing it in here and we're making everybody bring you know come be frustrated or you know i just feel like maybe that's a similar you know what's what's interesting about that what is my my my coach hat comes on immediately and be like yeah that's true and you can actually change what you're imagining about your husband about your family and all that type of stuff.

And they will actually start to reflect that back to you. So it sounds so crazy. In fact, as I'm saying this, I'm thinking about the me and my wife had a tiff yesterday. And it was tit for tat. No, you're doing this and you're doing this. And I was like, when I'm being honest with myself, yes, I am the one who's creating it. Even though she's the one who's behaving in a certain way, even though she's the one who's acting out of line or whatever I want to say, that's on the physical realm. I'm operating in

the metaphysical or the spiritual realm, which says as within, so without. So if I change within, the outside world reflects it perfectly. And it's a simple formula. And if you test it, it proves itself. It's interesting. Right. So what did I hear when you shared that? Or what insight or what question do you have? Well, what came up in my mind is would the same thing kind of happen to a person who struggles with depression? Like when they're, sometimes I have a hard time articulating exactly what my question is in my head. But you were saying like how a behavior or your feelings or whatever is, you know what I'm trying to say at all? Yeah, I think so. Maybe I can catch it with this.

Okay. In fact, why I like your podcast is because it's called These Fucking Feelings Podcast. And the interesting thing is feeling is the secret. So that feeling that you're having of discomfort, frustration, anxiety, depression, poverty, lack, that probably is a familiar feeling for someone who's listening to this podcast. It's very familiar. It's like a fish in water. What I'm inviting folks to do is to recognize that you can choose your feelings at any given moment. And as a matter of fact, you can imagine something completely different. So you get in a fight with your husband and you're feeling a certain way, you feel that discontent, right? Whatever. You can actually

still yourself and take your attention away from all the thoughts, all the feelings, all the things that you know to be true, and actually sit still and know that I am God. I know that's a scary thing for a lot of people to hear, especially if you're a Christian, to hear that. But you don't even have to go to the theological with it. You can actually just be still and say, I am. I am. I am. I am.

And eventually what will happen is your attention, your awareness will come to an expansive state and it will recognize pure perfection within yourself. And if you recognize pure perfection within yourself, you can't see anything of error on the outside. It's impossible. If you have a purified mind, which can be done just by sitting still, you can't come out of it and see the negative. What happens though, when people go into meditation or rumination or contemplation is that son of a bitch. He did that again. I can't believe he did this. You know what?

Screw it. I'm going to go for a walk. And then you go for a walk and you feel better. But all that ruminating that you were doing is your feelings. And the thing is, they don't go to the past. They project out into the future. So you're due to run into that very situation that you were just ruminating over again. And you're going to do it again. And you're going to do it again until you start going, wait a minute, that's not what I want to be thinking. That's not what I want to be feeling. That's not how I want to show up for

this person. Right. And I always quote Michael at some point in time, I say, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change. Yeah, but he's an asshole. I get it. But he's only reflecting the asshole in you. I'm not an asshole. I'm a sweetheart. I do all look at all the things I do. That's asshole behavior just alone. Right? Oh, my God. I do. I do. It makes perfect sense. It's just the thought that occurs to me while you're explaining all of that is because I'm obviously one of those people who struggles with, you know, finding the not the right way of doing things or the positive way of doing things or thinking that everything is possible. But my imagination is just like, how does a person get there on a regular basis? I mean, yeah, you said sitting still, like, is that like a practice? You keep practicing to make it like normal behavior? Correct. Yeah, exactly. So again, if you were to work with me, I would say I wouldn't work with you to try to fix anything on the outside. All I would try to do is work with my clients to actually see what their unconscious beliefs are. And the best, if you're actually sit still and, okay, so I'll walk, okay, I'll walk you through. If you were to work with me for the first time, the first week we

worked together, I would say, I want you to wake up first thing in the morning and just pay attention to what you hear. Pay attention to what you're hearing with your ears and notice how you get triggered. Good, bad or indifferent. Just notice how it triggers and it elicits a feeling within you. Oh, the birds. And then you hear a baby crying in the background. It's like, ah, got to get up. Right.

Like you hear something and it triggers something in you. If you can just sit and just notice that, oh, I'm hearing something right now. And what I'm hearing doesn't mean what I think it means. If you can just get in the practice of that, you do that day one, Monday, Tuesday, you go, all right, I sight, I look at something and it triggers something in me. I see, I see, I see the trash overflowing over there and I'm like, ah, why won't they put, why won't they throw the trash away? It triggers a feeling in you, right? Feeling of fear, scarcity, whatever. But if you can just sit and just peer outside of your eyes and just notice how the world triggers you, triggers emotion in you, triggers a meaning in you.

Then you do that with touch, sensation, taste. And then I'd have folks go out and observe how other people are making meaning. So it's like you go to the park bench or you go to the mall, or you watch the news and you just sit there completely unbiased and just uncritical observation, just observing. You'll start to see how it's like, oh, wow, person said something and this person reacts and says something back. And that person reacts and says something back and it does this back and forth. What's happening right there is automatic meaning making. We go into automatic meaning making mode. When we were seven years old, our mom said something to us and then we were just like, this is who I am.

And you'll live the rest of your life thinking that's who your aunt are. And you're just going on autopilot, not even realizing it. But if you can do what we're talking about here and stilling yourself and practicing that stillness, practicing the separation from the meaning that you're making automatically, you'll start to realize those like, oh, wait, I can make anything mean whatever I need it to mean in order for me to feel positive and uplifting and empowering and a good mirror for other people and so on and so forth. So, yeah, it's practice. And there's various ways of practicing, of course.

That's that's great. I would love to be able to get to that point in my life where I can. Sorry for the crying, my son. So cute. Yeah, I like your kids' names. Actually, I saw those on the website too. That's really cool. Oh, cool. I need to visit my website. What's going on on my website? Cool. Yeah, I like to research as much as possible, just so that I can be as familiar as possible. I was watching one podcast you were on with Spark Joy. Oh, the Spark Joy podcast, yeah. Yeah, you did that a few years ago.

And you were basically talking about organizing space. Yes, in that podcast, yes. Yeah. And I thought it was kind of interesting because you had talked about there being three to four steps to be who you want to be. I think that was basically the gist of it. What do you know what you want? Yeah. And you kind of applied that a little bit to organizing. And I was thinking when I was listening, how would one apply that

to their mental health? Yeah. It's a fundamental for me, at least, is to, so you need to know what you want. The four stages, if I'm remembering correctly, it was a while ago that it did that podcast, but it should still be the same four steps is to know exactly what it is that you want. Right. So, uh, and then devise a scene that would imply that you have your wish, that you have this desire, and then play that scene over and over again in your mind's eye until it takes on the tones of reality, until it feels normal, until it feels like, oh, this is who I am. And then go about your day knowing that it's done. Now, how does that help with mental health?

Again, like I said earlier, most people ruminate and get stuck in a trench of thought. This XYZ thing happened. This means that I suck. And because I suck, I suck. And now look at all these people, the whole world sucks. And you're going on that spiral, that hamster wheel again, right? That's what's creating that lack of mental health. You don't see yourself as healthy. As soon as, so if it is that you want a healthy mind, right? A healthy mentality, go like do that, do that work. Oh, I want a healthy mental state. Okay. What would imply that I had a healthy mental state? It could be a friend saying, oh, my God, Rebecca, you look so good. Oh, you sound so good, well, I'm not I'm not enough. I do suck. I look at and it will say, look at all the proof.

It will literally pull a whole Rolodex and say, here's this. Here's this time. Here's another time. Here's another time. Here's another time. And the only reason why that is occurring again, the only reason why that's occurring is because you're accepting that as true. Crazy as that might sound, you're accepting that as true, right? What's that poem say? It said, all that you behold, though it appears without, it is within. So if it is within you, change what's going on within you. Okay, how do I do that, Jerry? When you go to bed at night, no matter

what happened that day, when you go to bed at night, practice what I'm teaching here. Imagine that the day went exactly the way you would have wanted it to go. Anything that comes to your mind that was bad, if you could sit with it and say, you know what? How would I rather that had gone? I would have loved him to have said something nice to me. Now imagine that he did. If you can truly do that, you'll feel in your body that adoration you're looking for, that love you're looking for, the feelings of goodness that you're looking for. And if you can go to bed like that seven nights in a row, 21 nights in a row for the rest of your life, just doing that alone, it would change everything. Because like my mentors have taught me, your thoughts, they don't recede to the past. They go to the future.

So you might as well do this, even if it doesn't feel like it's real or that didn't really happen. Doing that alone does something in your mind. It does something in your mind that activates a part of your brain called the reticular activating system. I learned this from Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. And what the reticular activating system does is it looks, it will seek out proof of what you plant into your subconscious mind. So if you feel, if you think that the world is out to get you, your reticular activating system will do its job and find proof that that's true, right?

Another way of looking at it is, and reason why he calls it cyber psych psycho cyber netics is think of your reticular activating system like the thermostat in your house um you set it to 72 degrees and if it goes to 74 degrees if it goes up to 74 degrees the ac kicks on bringing the temperature back in the house back down to 72. If it drops below 72, right, it will kick on the heater or some sort of form to bring the temperature back up, right? And it will always be at that equilibrium. But as soon as you set that dial to another setting, it will match that. It's the same with your brain. When you go to bed at night, set it to the setting you want

to see tomorrow. Then you'll go into tomorrow and then what will happen? Well, they're still acting the same way. They haven't changed. And then this is the trick. What's the meaning you're making? When you make the meaning that says, oh, there's still an asshole, you're right. And that's what's going to project into the future until you stop it and say no I don't give it I don't give it that meaning the same meaning I want anymore this is my new setting you're making perfect sense and it's and the stuff that's running through my mind is just basically how I can incorporate this in my life. And then I was also thinking that I had noticed that you have programs on your website that people can just jump right on to. And we'll, of course,

have all of your information running across our podcast for people to be able to access. But I just feel like this is just going to be, I guess I never really thought of things like how just how, I mean, I'm on a mental health podcast, so I know how powerful the mind is. But to be able to really, it's just kind of profound, I guess, you know? You know what's so interesting, Rebecca, is we've been doing this our whole life. We have an inner dialogue, an inner conversation. You know, when you run into the table, it's like, oh, you dumbass, you did it again. That doesn't go to the past. No one said that to you. No one said that to you. And the only

reason why you said that to yourself, and this is another thing that I teach people, the only reason why that that even comes out of your brain to yourself is because of your state of consciousness. If you were in a completely different state of consciousness, you would have a completely different inner dialogue. If you were to talk to, I don't know, Deepak Chopra, I don't know, I don't actually follow him on. Let's pick another person that I might follow. If you I'll talk about my teachers. If you ran into a teacher like Joel Gold accident, he'd be the type that would walk out and be like, oh, wow, this is a complete and utter blessing. Whereas most people would get in a car accident and be like, you asshole, what, did you not see me there? What's the difference? It's the state of consciousness. Somebody like Joel Goldsmith or Neville Goddard or William Blake, where that poem comes from,

would see all situations as a perfect manifestation of the one being that is and created all that is. And there's nothing wrong here. But if you're like most people, like myself, you have all this old programming, you have all these old beliefs, you have this race consciousness, you have this Americana, if you're in America. If you're in India, you got Indian culture. You got all this stuff that tells you this is how you're supposed to be and how you're supposed to do. And so, of course, you're going to go around beating yourself up no matter what. But now you recognize and just listening to this, whoever is listening to this podcast, you are the operant power.

What? I'll say that in the first person. I am the operant power. There's nothing that can happen out here that I didn't call subconsciously. I didn't say consciously. I meant subconsciously. OK, because sometimes you just don't know what you're doing. Like you're just watching a movie and you're freaking out and now you have a feeling and it just goes out into the future. Anyways.

So yeah. So it's all about having a good, strong mental diet and an uncritical observation of what you're saying to yourself about yourself. By the way, what you say about another person, you're not saying about them. You're saying about yourself. Oh, that person's lazy? Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're saying that about yourself. You're the one who's operating this power.

And you have this power that actually, you have the power of the universe. The very power that created and sustains the universe actually lies within you. And you use that same power that creates universes to create a hell for yourself until you stop, until you stop. Right. Amazing. Really to think about, really digest. And I actually have one last note on my pad here. And it was basically about the imposter syndrome. We had one other guest, I don't know, some time ago. She had hit the nail on the head about the imposter syndrome. And I just wanted to hear a little bit about what you thought or what your thoughts are on the imposter syndrome. Yeah, I've actually given a couple of presentations on the imposter syndrome. Yeah. I've actually given a couple of presentations

on the imposter syndrome. When I first started my business, I focused a lot on that. Man, I'm forgetting the definition. I have the book somewhere in here. Whatever. Imposter syndrome is an interesting phenomenon. I'll put it that way. It's a phenomenon where your own self-worth is low, but your activity and achievements are high. And the reason why your achievements and your activity are high is because you're doing them to compensate for the lack of worth that you have for yourself. And so there's like five different ways that this manifests themselves. Sometimes people become perfectionists. Sometimes people go completely solo and never ask for help. Others put other people first. There's like two others and I can't think of them off the top of my head. But essentially, this goes back to what I was saying before. A lot of people go to the activity, go and try to make things happen,

right? To prove something, prove something to the boss, prove something to their mom and dad, prove something to their ex, even prove something to themselves when in fact they don't need to do any of that. They just need to be wise, be loving, be productive, right? And the doing comes from it. Why does the doing come from that? Just like we were talking about before, all that you behold, all that though it appears without, it's actually within. So if you could change your being, who you are being, imposter syndrome goes away. Let's just put it that way. The reason why you feel like you're an imposter is because you don't know who you truly are. I'll say it that way.

Yeah, I guess that's pretty straightforward. Yeah. And I think you had mentioned something about it prevents people from being their best. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But yeah, I think I definitely, I think I may struggle a little bit with that myself sometimes, but at the same time, I don't. So I'm a little confused on the whole imposter syndrome.

Yeah. I mean, I can only share from experience when I've experienced imposter syndrome. I'll tell you this. When I was experiencing imposter syndrome, it's only because I didn't believe in myself. That's really what it boiled down to. And once I started believing myself, I realized like how much, you know, I don't want to curse, how much stuff I was doing. Yeah.

Well, first of all, you can curse because this is these fucking feelings after all and so you could say whatever you want but you know i think some people just get so driven for other reasons that they inevitably become i don't know tainted or overwhelmed with the imposter syndrome and like inevitably i guess i don't know one tainted or overwhelmed with the imposter syndrome and like inevitably, I guess. I don't know. One of my favorite artists of all times is Robin Williams. And I'm getting chills just thinking about him. And he suffered from imposter syndrome.

And even though, man, he shines so much light in this world and he was, you know, he brought such joy to people. He brought endless joy to me. I grew up watching him and I'm getting emotional. And so he, you know, he ended up taking himself out of here. Right. And committed suicide. I'll say it bluntly. He committed suicide. I'll, I'll say it bluntly. He committed suicide. And, and I think about that.

I'm like, man, if he only knew how like truly new, not externally new, but truly knew how powerful he was, he wouldn't have done that. And, and I know there's people out there, you know, that will say, you know, you need to recognize that in another person this any other not a person needs to find it within themselves first and um a lot of times i know this isn't a conversation about suicide but what i've come to find is that feeling of suicide is actually you wanting to escape your state of consciousness it's you it's you wanting to leave what you believe to be true about you, what you've believed to be true about you for so long, and you can't find any way to escape it. So you take another external action. You see what I'm saying? I say that with the deepest heart,

because I'm not trying to bring anybody down when I brought the subject up, but it is the ultimate example of taking an external action to change what's going on within you. And of course, I'm not a mental health therapist or anything like that. So I'm not trying to diagnose or prescribe or anything like that. I'm just sharing from my experience when I used to have those thoughts, like when I was in my twenties, what that was really about. And it was really, I wanted to escape myself, you know? And if, and if you can realize that you can actually escape, you can't escape yourself. You have to actually do that work within to change within to see what's going to happen on the outside. That's when things change.

Absolutely. Yeah. He was a great man and it's too bad. Imagine what he'd be doing if he was still alive. I think he'd be a spiritual teacher. You think so? I think so. I think if he would have gotten to that, if getting to that place, if he would have, who knows, who knows. Yeah. But I would like to think that if he would have gotten to that place and said, you know what?

No, he would have been, I honestly believe he would have been a spiritual teacher. And, and part of the reason why I think that is there's another comedian, former comedian named Kyle cease. And he is a spiritual teacher now. And he was a stand-up comedian. I'm talking about big names. He was about to do a big special and all this stuff,

and then got really, really suicidal and depressed. And he ended up locking himself in his hotel room. And that's when he had his spiritual awakening and was like, nope, I can't do this anymore. And totally flip, used the same skills that he had for years as a standup to use his skills of speaking to help uplift other people out of their rabbit holes. Wow. I don't know. I'd like to think that Robin Williams would have done something along those lines. You're probably right. He's amazing. He's so amazing. I mean, have you

watched any of his movies? They're all spiritual teachings. Aladdin. Genie was an amazing character who also teaches a lot of this. What we talked about on this podcast, by the way. What is the one where he has the big red nose, the

big feet? Oh, is it patch adams is that patch adams that's it you know i've never seen that one i need to watch it it's so funny yeah i need to check it out i'll put that on i don't watch a lot of movies so i'll put that on my list i'll surprise my wife with a date night she's probably going to listen to this podcast too. So if I don't do this date night before, before the podcast comes up. Aired sometime in November, December. So yeah, sometime. Cool. Yeah. So let's see. I'm trying to think of anything else I have left to, I think I hit on everything that I, I think that I had to bring up.

We covered all your bases, right? I think so. Let me ask you a question, Rebecca. Okay. What is something that you, what is something that you want, that you've wanted maybe for a while? No big deal, but like something that you wanted that just like it just hasn't manifested itself. Well, that I that's a good question, because I have struggled with a lot of different things. So for me, I'm going to say the first thing that came to my mind when you asked that is I would like to stop being so self-conscious. So I would like to be more confident.

Got it. That's a great one. You want more confidence. What would imply, how do I ask this? If you wanted more confidence, right? What would imply that you were confident? Maybe you hear something from somebody or trying to think, how would somebody more confident? Yeah. How would you feel if someone in your life that you knew and loved said, man, Rebecca, I've never seen you so confident. I've never seen you so bold. Well, yeah, that would definitely help me profoundly. But the thing is, is i'm a pisces so i don't know if yeah so i'm a bit skittish when it comes to any sort of criticism

sensitive so yeah this is a good one. So any sort of any sort of negativity, any sort of negativity is no matter how small is a mountain is a mountain. Yeah. So somebody may not think that one small criticism. Geez, look at your gray hair, which I have grays, you know, is huge. They don't know what they just did to me. You know what I mean? So when someone says something about your gray hair and it triggers you, what do you make that mean about you? What does that mean about you? Well, specifically that would be about my appearance. It would just mean that I'm getting old or that, which isn't the case because genetically this,

this is the thing, but they don't know that. Um, but it's just that I'm not attractive. Got it. I'm not attractive. That's what you say to yourself about yourself, okay? Whether you know it or not. So how do we get this? All right. Do this as a practice just for the fun of it, right? I want you, Rebecca, to go to bed every night

and just being like, literally go to bed going, Becca, you're so confident. Just imagine your friend or your husband or somebody just like stating that to you. Could you even, in fact, as we're doing it here, if you're in the, if you're listening to a podcast, you can follow along, whatever it is that you want. Just imagine one of your friends saying something like this to you, right? In the case of Rebecca, Rebecca, close your eyes and put your friend in front of you. And you're just so amazed. Oh my God, I've never seen you more confident.

I've never seen you so bold, right? You do that. Do that three times a day when you wake up in the morning so got you yeah when you wake up in the morning two to three minutes just sit there in the silence and just be like you see your friend and you'll feel it you'll feel it within you it seems fake only because your rational logical is going crazy but within you and your solar plex, you feel it. You do that again at lunchtime, like right after lunch. If you're at the office, just go to the bathroom, sit there for about two minutes and just do it again. Loop it again. Oh my God, Rebecca, you're so confident. You're so bold. What happened? Right? Something simple. Then you do that as you go to bed at night. This is the most important is the one doing it as you go to bed at night. And you do that as you go to bed at night. This is the most important, is the one doing it as you go to bed at night. You do that on repeat. If you can practice doing

that, Rebecca, practice doing that for a week. Practice doing that for two weeks. Maybe three weeks if you need it. In fact, just keep doing it. What will end up happening is at some point, your rational logical will shut off, allowing your imagination to take hold. Your true self, your imagination will take hold and be like, no, this is who I am. Then you'll walk out in your weeks and you'll start to notice if you're being uncritical with your observation, you'll start to notice I'm not as triggered when people say something to me. It kind of rolls off my back. It just will, because you don't view yourself, when you view yourself as confident, nothing somebody says to you is going to make you feel unconfident. I like it. Yeah, I like it. Definitely got to do it. So you have to say the words out

loud or can you kind of just... I would say it within. I would say it within. Yeah. No need to say it outside yourself. If anything, just have a vision of your friend. If you're a visual person and if you're not, you might be audible and just hear it and just accept it. Accept it as true. Even though it's not happening in the physical world, accept it as true within yourself and it will outpicture eventually uh am i forgetting something on that i don't think so okay i will definitely do it it's a fun little exercise for sure i like and i hope a lot of listeners uh take advantage of that little exercise uh, you know, and whatever they need to do for themselves. Funny, I'm thinking of that old SNL sketch. Stuart's smiling. He's like, I'm beautiful. I'm confident. God darn it. People love me. Yeah. And it's like, oh, my God, am I one of those guys?

I'm like, you know, I am one of those guys because it's true they make fun of it they make fun of it but it actually is true how we talk to ourselves actually does our picture in the world so yeah good point yeah but uh so anything you want to say to our listeners before we head on out? I can close out real quick and just say, hey, you guys are awesome. I know Rebecca mentioned my website. I rarely go to my website. I don't even know if people come to me through my website. So that's not the best way of getting in contact with me. The best way to get in contact with me is through Instagram actually. And my handle is at human.imagination, human imagination. And if you follow me there, there's so much content. I, I do, um, I do videos all the time. There's all sorts of slides and things that dive deeper into

what we talked about today. And, um, also that's just where I like to play as well. So if you come there, say hi, tell me how you got there. I'd love to know you. Great. Thank you so much. And like I said, I believe I said in the beginning, and maybe I said it off camera, that this was my very first solo. Obviously, I'm by myself. And I feel like this was really great. Thank you so much, Jerry, for hanging in there with me and thank you guys for listening and yeah, all of Jerry's information will be streaming through here so if anybody is wondering what that Instagram was,

you will see it on the screen and thanks for watching, everyone. Have a great day. See you next week. Peace and hair grease. And with that, we're wrapping up another episode of the Fucking Feelings Podcast. Thank you all for tuning in and engaging in another intense and real discussion on understanding and navigating through our feelings. Don't forget, we're here each Wednesday bringing you brand new episodes filled with stories, advice, and perspectives to help you handle those fucking feelings.

So set a reminder on your calendar, grab your headphones, and join us every week. And if you're interested in exploring more ways to deal with life's stresses, make certain to tune in to our sister podcast. Trauma is expensive. Dive deep into discussions on managing trauma, building resilience, and fostering healing with new episodes dropping every Monday. Make sure to subscribe, rate, and comment on both podcasts on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, each comment and rating can catapult us further towards reaching those individuals who could really use our discussions.

Your feedback is invaluable. Before we close, we want to remind you that discussing feelings is never a sign of weakness, but a display of courage. Stay brave, stay strong, and keep feeling those fucking feelings. Until next week, take care and keep the conversation going.