THESE GUYS! - 8th grade bathroom fights

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

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4.15 a.m. They were like dialing up plays on that, remember? Ron Joroski, Sal Palantoneo, Merrill Hodge. Fuck, Mary Kill. Go. Not bad for a fat guy. Wait, is that that guy? Is that that guy that they always sent in jet motion?

Is that that guy? Station, you know about that? motion. Hated jet motion. He's like kind of hot, but they always put him in jet motion. So like, I don't know if I'm going to go to homecoming with him.

Yeah, they put you in jet motion. That meant you weren't getting the ball. Dude, but when they do, bro. But when they do give you the rock, oh shit.

Negative three yard carry. It's going to revolutionize, you know. Oh, oh, oh, you know, you know. You know. Wait. What's up?

TG 145. Hey, go ahead and give these guys LOL a follow on Instagram. Got a little poll up there right now. Got a little poll up there on the IG, these guys LOL. Me and Ben have gone back and forth. We have.

We've gone back and forth before on the show, off the show offline. Sure. So the station does know about that one, but put up. they want to know if Clubhouse wants guests on these guys or if you guys just want to hang out with us every week if you don't because I'm torn I'm torn I listen to shows and sometimes when they have a guest on I'm like man it's just like kind of throws off my I just wanted to

hang out with you guys and listen to what you guys had to say but then there's some that obviously that drives a whole entire thing so just let us know yeah maybe we'll maybe we'll see someone toy with. Give us your feedback. DM us on these guys, L.O.L. vote in it. And let us know. Yeah. And let us know who you'd want. If we were going to have guests, like, who should it be? Should it be just be like Ron Jororski

every week? Like, who should be? Should it be Jaws every week, dude? What, didn't he, didn't he have some segment? He did. It was on that NFL. He was on that. He's on the NFL. why do I always forget the name of this freaking show

because it was like my favorite one it wasn't NFL matchup it wasn't yes it was NFL matchup there it was Edge NFL matchup with Ron Jaworski and that other guy

at 415 a.m. They were like dialing up plays on that remember Ron Jaworski South Palantoneo Merrill Hodge fuck Mary kill go

the original holy triumphant right there my holy trinity in the name of the Ron Jaworsky the South Palantonia and the Merrill Hodge Amen that's a clubhouse prayer

dude it is before you walk in the clubhouse you got to do the sign of the cross it's to those three guys that or that or Lelholz, Mark May Reese Davis will also be accepted Oh bro

I don't know though At the same time At the at the same time An argument could be made That the original original Like the one who started it all The Holy Trinity Was just

Fowler, Herb Street, and Corso when they would go to like Toledo on a Thursday night with that little tiny college game day set That's all I want I love that tiny set, bro. It was like four feet across. Uh-huh.

Oh, my, those are the, those are the best times. Maybe too big of a production now. Yeah. Just those three. And there would be like, there would be like 28 people behind them, but those 28 people were like losing their mind the entire time. Hey. Wazoo, baby.

Hey, we're three weeks away from me texting you that every single week. I look outside right now there's just a Washington state flag hanging off my balcony it's like half the reason literally half the reason I wanted to live in this apartment because there's a balcony

I'm like damn maybe I could hang a Kansas state flag off that that's I tell you that's what we did on spring break just 25 dudes from UND D2 college go to like Panama City and we all bought different flags

from the schools that we thought were like so sick and hung them off our balconies. So we had like an Oklahoma State, a Florida State, Oregon, Kansas, people are like, dude, we got to go up there. Just a bunch of D2 dudes. It's a really good idea.

It's a really good idea, actually. We all lied and said we were like special teams players for like Clemson and stuff. What's up? The, uh, here's, yeah, there's a these guys origin for you right there. Uh, so the wazoo flag way back in the day, I mentioned that to Ben when we were just like, like chopping up a video or something. And I was like, yeah, dude, where's the Wazoo flag?

And you're like, Washington State? And I was like, yeah, they've been at every single college game day. And you're like, dude, no, they haven't. I said, yes, they're at every single college game day. The flag is flying. You're like, Ben was just like, dude, nobody knows that. I was like, everybody knows that. Everybody knows about the Wazoo flag.

Because every single week on game day, every single week on game day, they come back from a commercial break at some point. And at once it was Chris Favis. Now it's Reese Davis and that's zooming in on the flag. Oh, and old Cribson makes it return for its 247th consecutive game day. I send it to Ben every single time, every week. I'm like, yep, there it is.

Old Cripson. In like two years, they're going to show the wazoo flag guys. Just going to be me with a hoodie on. Sitting next to Ryan Leaf. Oh, my God, my dream. Right, right. Dream Saturday. Just go to a wazoo game with Ryan.

leave. Did I ever tell you that me and my dad saw Ron Jaworski in the Miami airport? Actually, renting a car in the Miami airport in January of 2010. Do you say anything? My first reaction would be like, should we cowtip him or something? Yeah, we knew. It was him. Just his stocky little penguin body, his stocky little penguin body just falling over in the

Hurts rental car. He's not stocky. Is he like 6'8? Dude, look it up right now. You'll be surprised. Because his face, his face gives off. I think this guy's going to be a little stocky, but just because he's older now and he's got, you know, kind of a little wide face, a little Molnar chubby face, right? But that dude played quarterback in the NFL, man.

That guy was an athlete. Ron Jaworski, I'm saying, six two and a half. Dude, six to even. Nice. So my, yeah, my memory serves correct. But yeah, me and my dad, I was 15. I was waiting or 16. I was waiting in line with my dad in the Miami Hertz or rent a car or whatever.

And there's Jaws up there in front of us. And he's at the, he's at the counter. And me and my dad are like, I think that's one. I think it's Ron Jor Worski. I think that's Ron Jorke. Yeah. And so like he could tell and he turned to us. And as he's walking away, we were like,

jaws and he just goes he just gave us one of these what's up guys just kept walking I was always kind of like I know his last I did always kind of think about that when I was a kid I was like I know his last name is Joe Worski so that's probably why they call him jolz

but at the same time with those jowls and teeth that he has it kind of works multiple ways perfect it's perfect it's perfect Jaws, dude. Hey, hey. The Jalls movie poster instead of the shark, it's just that picture that you have. Why is that like what I want to do all day? Like forget my goals and dreams.

I just want to make a Ron Jaworsky Jaws poster the whole day. That's the most fun ever. The most fun I've ever had in my life. Hey, it's not football season, is it? That's what like 16 year old you would want to do. so you're just stuck in that mode. Please. Post it on the internet six likes.

Dude, I went to six like. I went up to a Wrigley this past weekend and was up at the rooftop. And so thanks to Wrigley rooftops and the Cubs for having me and setting it up. It was sick. But I sit down, first inning, sit down up on the rooftop.

group in front of me just four dudes guys sitting there sits down Cubs Jeff Samarja shirt was like oh my God

I was not expecting you to say that it's like this guy's got to be clubhouse something shirt shirt jerseys are they in shirt skis that one was because it's like you're not finding a Jeff Samarja

Cubs jersey but you know at some thrift store some Goodwell somewhere. They have a Cubs, Jeffsomarja shirt, shirt ski. No better fitting like Shirtsky ever than the ones from Goodwill. Already broken in. Good sleeve length.

Mm. Just tear it up, bro. Just looks natural. You put a shirt on normally. You kind of got to let the fit sit for like an hour. And then it's good to go. The graphic and you ever see somebody and they put close. the graphical letterings kind of cracking a little bit

yeah scratchy yeah yeah so we want we want scratchy screen print worn it worn it to sleep a couple times something about something dumb about shirts oh yeah you can kind of like it doesn't feel right on your body like when you put your clothes on to like go somewhere and you leave immediately like you just don't feel right you got to let the fit got to let the fit set in with those shirts that like you got from Goodwell, you don't have to do that. It's just immediate.

What was the, what were the stats, dude? Yeah, bro. Stats weren't that crazy at the rooftop. You kept it clean? Well, the game was an hour and 49 minutes. It was literally one of the fastest games in Major League history. Are you serious?

I would go to a baseball game if it was two hours. Every time I go to a baseball game, I'm like, here we go. Another track, mate. they move pretty quickly, man, because they got that 15 second pitch clock. And so you got a constant, you know. And so then with that,

and then if teams aren't scoring and, you know, they're not doing like along at bats or swinging to the first pitch or two, I mean, that was case in point with us. Literally, we got up there.

It was all inclusive until the seventh inning. And then they cut off, you know, on like alcohol and everything. So we got up there. had like two rounds of beers, one thing of food, and we were literally already saying in the seventh inning stretch. We're already saying to take me out to the ball game.

We're like, what the hell is going on? So kind of perfect, dude. What sweet were you in? Were you in the Blockbuster suite? It was, no, I mean, it was perfect, but it's perfect until like you want it to be as long as you can when it's all inclusive because then you can keep going back for food and drink. So the game goes quickly and the all inclusive runs out quickly. quicker, then you're stuck paying for shit.

All I can think about is what was the piss count? Not the pitch count. What was the piss count? Piss count had to be at least, at least 13. Throughout the day. When the floodgates are open for me, dude, it's almost big piss count. Yeah, throughout the day it was. But at the rooftop, it was just so, you know, when you get excited and, like, your,

your mind's elsewhere because it's like such a perfect day. you're in this environment with your friends. You're like, can't believe we're here. You're like, even if you do kind of got a piss, you're not, it's not top of mind.

You can suppress the piss with other stuff. Mm-hmm. You know, it's not like you're like riding in a car or something, you know, and it just has to be like, so it wasn't that bad on the rooftop, but then like once we were done with the rooftop

and then, and then went out to other bars and stuff, then that's where it was like, yeah, okay, all right. Your worst piss of all time, though? when you're playing hide and seek. We're playing hide and seek as a kid had to pee.

It is so bad. I couldn't even take it. I'm like, how come immediately when I start hiding, I have to pee in shit? Did you, hey, did you ever,

you know, kind of try to test your luck? Maybe if they weren't, you know, if you hit upstairs and you knew they started downstairs, you're like, they're going to check around downstairs first.

So the bathroom's right over here. I'm going to go run over real quick. Maybe I find a new spot in the bathroom. I don't, know, but I just know I'm going to piss myself and I can't do it in the corner of my mom's closet right here. Gotta pee so bad. Or that.

Worst pee ever before a football game when you're like all padded up. You got to pee. You're like, oh my God. Or you have to deuce before a football game. Yo. There's no worst time in your life, dude. You're like, should I be on the field right now? Are they yelling for my name?

Time has never felt like it's gone faster. than when that happens because of all the extenuating circumstances. You're like, yeah, that's what if you feel like that's what's happening. Because not only do you have to do what you got to do, but then also you're hot and sweaty so then pulling up all your pants and your gear

and everything. Oh my God. Then you keep getting sweaty. You put on your whole thing. Oh my, no, you've never sweat more than when you have to go to the bathroom before. football game. You've never sweat more in your life. Sweat more during that than the game.

It's just an endless cycle. Endless cycle of sweat and everything's sticking to you. Oh. School bathroom. That's pretty like traumatizing too. Like somebody's done something to you while you're going to the bathroom at school. Never a good idea. Like we had a dude one time there was a dude just taking pictures of us going to the

bathroom. Over the stall. Who? What? Just like on our basketball team. Oh. For a second

I was like, what the fuck is going on the team just taking pictures of us while we were like going to the bathroom. I was like talk delete that like damn.

Like talk about the worst picture of all time. No. Worst, worst piss is when you were in grade school. and somehow your class

like fifth and sixth grade somehow your class ended up stopping in the hallway at the bathroom that the eighth grade class was also happened to be going out at the same time not good bro

so scared anytime there's older dudes in the bathroom that's that's a lose lose situation yeah I'm going to get my ass kicked because it's always a fight, bro. There was always a fight in the bathroom,

like a low-key fight. But you just hiding something in the ceiling. They're going to make fun of you about something, right? So either that, like, they're going to, there's going to be a fight or they're going to make fun of you. You just knew whatever it was, like, you're getting roasted. Like, this isn't good. Swirlies were popping up in the back of your head.

You're like, I think it only happens in movies and on TV, but I don't know, dude. I got Joe King in here. Like I, who knows what this crazy bastard's going to do? That's a movie thing for sure. But I was always like, damn, what if they did give me a wedgy? And I like had my underwear was like ripped out of my pants the whole day. Always crossed my mind.

I'm like, can you just do it already? I almost sacrifice myself for a wedgie. Can you just give me a wedgie? Might feel good. That pressure with it being pulled up over your head, maybe that pressure on your back or something. Yeah. it would feel good in the weird way. But you always had to pit.

Pull my fur to the looms. When you were in the fifth grade of the sixth grade situation and the older dudes are in the bathroom, it's like you said about hide and seek. It wasn't just like a, oh, we're going to the bathroom and yeah, I'll just go nonchalant. It's like I have, like my bladder is going to explode right now.

But I also have to go stand in between these two dudes through three years older and me. This is not good. This is not good. Oh my God. might have to hit the might have to hit the stall for that one OG move

like the actual sit down just anything to get a little protection a little privacy can I get a couple walls in here Jesus Christ anything to separate you from whatever that else hell is going on in there please

something always happened to the bathroom dude we had one of our homies just took out one of the bathroom walls one time I was like Jesus Christ just the only place you can really like get it you know stop having recess in like middle school sorry I got to kick out a bathroom wall I gotta do something

right recess in eighth grade was like seven minutes long I was like the teachers weren't going in there so it really was always just like a you know he said he said the truth is somewhere in the middle and typically it would always default to who had the more backup in terms of who's going to who's going to vouch for you.

Because they'd get your side of the story, boom, you're going to make your side, he's going to make his side, they're going to make their side, do your boys back you up? You know, were you in something with Weed Kid, then he's probably going to get in trouble because the teacher always defaults to that kid. Dude kid was doing nasty stuff in the bathroom. Weed kid hiding like

Weed kid was hiding like zins in the ceiling tiles Like stink bombs You know Everybody walking out and smelling like a skunk Weed kid all over it In school suspension What a time that was Weed kid's a kid that would just take a shit in the urinal

He would what He would just take a shit in the urinal you know like you walk during a during during a dance you know you have the mom

chaperone that kind of lets you get away with some things weed kid was fucking taking advantage of that total not even during a dance man he was just like straight up

when you class after fourth period would use a bathroom break and he'd go in there and with his DC jazz jacket on that somehow he's still getting to wear even though the teacher told him to take it off. He just takes a dump right in the urinal, flushes it, water everywhere. Weed kid was only at school like four days a week somehow and was getting away with it.

You know, he's like the worst attendance ever and you're like, how does this even, how are you still in school? There were some kids that were just never there. I was like, all right, I don't know what's going on. And now you just realize this is because. the teachers were just as afraid of them as you were. They didn't want to deal with it. So they just got to a point or they just let them do whatever.

They don't want Mrs. Weed kid coming anywhere near the school. Mrs. Weed kid. Mrs. Weed kid, bro. Bedazzled jeans. Be dazzled jeans in a bad attitude, bro. Big rusty van. just let him do whatever he wants.

Let's just say, hey, let's just get this kid graduated. That was like their, they're fine, like their line. They're like, let's just get them out. Yep, to where we all don't have to deal with them anymore. Yeah, that's like, hey, I mean, school started schools back in session now officially. And now what it is is now you think about the first day of school, the first week of school, where you're like, you're trying to set a good standard for yourself. You're like, all right, I want to get off on the right foot here with this teacher.

I got a whole year of this shit. I want to get off onto a right foot in this class with these teachers, whatever, what have you. You don't want to walk right in there and all of a sudden just be like, hey, this is what we're in for. Weed kid didn't care. Came out guns ablazance. First day of school, syllabus week, whatever. It didn't matter. Weed kid had on like, like not even the.

the right pants and stuff like that. He had like he had like camo pants on. No haircut. Problem. Let's uh, chewing gum, bro. Chewing gum,

day one. See this funny is that the clubhouse part of them who aren't, you know, they didn't have that Catholic school background. They're like, yeah, we could wear cargo pants and we could chew gum and we didn't have to have a haircut. But for me and you're like,

could they actually? actually? Yeah, yeah. Bro, if you had gum, you were dead in our school. Like, you might as well just go home if you had gum. That was insane. Right, right?

Or in high school, could we have gum? High school we could. Great school, we couldn't. We could just chew gum all day in high school. That sounds insane, bro. Just hop up in there with bubble-licious. Yeah, because I remember one of my best friends, even so to this day.

He would always have gum on him. And I would always ask for after lunch, hey man, can I grab something? And he'd always give me, like, he would rip off half a piece. And it always pissed me on. I was like, I don't want this little half piece shit, dude. Come on. Half is all you really need. Half is all you need.

That's what he would always say. Rip me a half. Which I guess I should have just been grateful. Gum is a valuable thing. It really is. It really is. Especially in high school. Gum is a...

You're sitting with the boys and you're having jalapeno chips and all sorts of God knows what, whatever. You can't be... Nasty ass breath in high school. Just not even aware. Sitting two seconds across from some girl in math right after lunch.

Chicken popper breath? I remember I only for Easter one year I just asked for all gum. Because I was like, to get this fixed. My breath is too shitty. I got to get this corrected. Just so much spearmint orbit in my basket.

I was like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yep. Christmas stocking stuffer. I started giving it out. The long john joints. All the mince.

The long john joints. Yep. Need it. Need it. You ever have a teacher that would like have some mince and you're like, damn. Thank you for, that's some awareness.

Thanks for looking out. I don't know. What kind of mince those bad ones? Or like lifesavers? They were like kind of the knockoff lifesavers. Just straight up white, like the circle, the circle joint mints that were, yeah, this is straight.

I mean, that's just what they were like spear mint and they were fresh. And yeah, they were the knockoff ones. Be able to, hey, come up by the desk, pop. Cool. Dude, I'll make a meal out of those. There's been a couple times I've eaten like eight, of those like for like a

for a dinner you know you just go crazy on mince and you're like I'm full that's a it's a weird thing with candy you can eat like one piece of candy and you're full I'm like what just because it's all shit no I'm taking advantage though I'm taking like

25 and put them in my cargo pocket boom hey Christmas time when they'd have like pepper mints you know oh dude those little can did the candy candy They're so, they're so like oddly shaped that the hook is like the same size as the as the like stick part of it. It just looks like a half like, yeah, it's so dumb looking. Best one.

Looks like a horseshoe. December 12th. Get the teacher to somehow put on Christmas music on their, on their desktop at their desk. stop bro stop Alvin in the chipmunks candy cane Stephen Snyder come on Stephen let's go

stamp it Snyder stamps Hey hey hey hey Working on a group project With like kind of kind of cute girl You're just laying on your On your stomach dude Feet in the air

Dirty dusty ass school shirt Who cares Christmas Christmas and I think she likes me Let's go. Christmas and I like her way more than she'll ever even think of me in my entire life. Isn't that crazy? I'm like, she has no idea. She has no idea I'm in love with her.

No idea that I'm like thinking about our future. Hey, thinking about building our deck. No idea. No idea I'm going to assemble our son's basketball hoop. No idea that she knows how many. I already know how many freckles she has She doesn't even know my first name Eight minutes of a religion

Group worksheet that your teacher put three guys together in She didn't want to do anything The week before Christmas break Do you think she's hot Trying to like confirm it? Do you think she's hot? If they give you the slightest nod You're like, I'm going, I'm going

This is, this is, she's the long. What's crazy is that it would go either way on that. It would be if you had somebody that said like, oh, yeah, then you're all in. But then it just took the one friend on the opposite. And they're just like, bro. And then it totally kills you. Ooh, that would suck, dude. That would suck.

Oh my God. Totally take you out of it. You see her in a whole different way after that. Your homie's like, nah, dog. Says one thing about her, you're totally out. Draft stock went down. So we get to the clubhouse. We got a ton.

We got a ton of clubhouse, by the way. Yeah. Like maybe the most we've ever had. Yo, by the way, um, station know about this and hunting merch is live. Cop it. Benedictmerch.com.

Just, just, you know about these hoodies? because it's fall in football season. Station doesn't know about that. Station, know about this merch? All right, team these guys at gmail.com. Yeah, probably the most we've ever had.

I mean, it's been, you know, building up and everything, but you guys are some crazy fuckers here. Let's start off with our, we'll be gentlemen. Let's start off with some burpy girls. It's from Sam. Burpy girl, Sam, here. A couple of huntie thoughts.

for Clubhouse is Huntie's uniform pants slash shorts just every single style of critter pants gets a new pair each Christmas. You know what I'm talking about. Example here just in case. Two, Huntie Dad puts his kiddos in day of the week undies. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

rinse and repeat. You know he's an excellent laundry bay. Three, switching gears, a sleeper kick. I never hear anyone talk about. Penny Hardaway is Air Penny 2. Joey and I are birthday buddies. How about that? Sucks that about the time.

Sucks by that time. Can't read. Stroke meter. Halloween is over. Sent from my grandparents 1998 web TV. Hey, yeah, 828. There we go.

I was wondering why. Oh, my God. I was wondering why she, the subject line was 828, and now I understand. There we go. Web TV, bro. the way my dad wanted web TV for like 35 years and never bought it.

Think about getting web TV, B. I was like, just do it. It was like the internet on TV. Like you could just have, instead of like using a computer, you could just do it all from your TV. So like big screen internet, kind of.

So like YouTube TV or YouTube now, how we just pull up YouTube on every single TV that you have, basically that. Or you just go to like websites on your like, big big back TV. My dad was just loving that. All over it. Of course never did it.

Of course never did it. Never copped. I still kind of don't understand it. It just doesn't translate as well. Like if I'm on the internet, it needs to be on a computer, really. Like that's the best internet is on like a desktop computer.

Phone internet, like it's cool, but I'm like it's not really it. Like I can't buy plane tickets on a phone unless I'm like really in a pinch. I got to like, got to have it like all in front of me. Might be some boomer.

Yeah. Something about it. Something about it just seems still a little slow. What? The phone? Yeah. Or I'm like, did it actually go through?

Like how, I don't know. It just doesn't seem as legit. Like phones are for like Instagram and that kind of internet. Sure. Penny 2 though. Yeah, I feel like Penny Hardaway's get some love.

But the penny two, that color way is pretty sick Atlantic blue. Do you know what she's doing what she's talking about with the Critter pants? you pull up that email or Google Critter Pants here real quick It's I think

I think she's spot on here Is Honey's uniform pants Shorts just every single style of critter pants so Critter Pants is you know The ones that have the design Like the one that she used for example As the Clovers on them

Very Nantucket Very golf Very Huntie Golf guy Oh, Huntie's Honty loves golf, but he won't admit it. Really?

I think that's just like a part of his routine. He can't, he can't. Oh, really? He doesn't want to tell his wife how much he loves golf because he loves hunting. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Let's go to Sylvia.

Like I said, being gentlemen here, so we'll get the burpee girls out of the way. These guys, these girls... I love you. Recap questions. Benny and Joey, after listening to the episode on Huntie Travis Kelsey,

I was absolutely have to agree with you both. Being from the KC area and a lifelong chiefs fan that he would huntie on us and we need at Kill a Trav back stat. I hope this motivates him.

Questions. Joey, are you low-key super athletic? I kind of feel like you are. Two, to both of you, what motivates you? Hators, doubters, believers, etc. Let us know, considering this isn't a sports reminiscent nostalgic holiday.

Let's get deep podcasts. Sincerely, Sylvie. Wow. What a question. Joey is low-key athletic. That could be a clip of Travis Kelsey Hunty, but I am just like nervous that the Kelsey mob and the Swift mob would, we're going to just keep coming after us.

But like Ben always says, might be better. Might be better if that happens. Way better. way better and I think he cut I think he's back I think he's back to kill a trap

I think he cut his hair Hey back to the fate You can You can take the hair out of honey But you can't take the huntie Out of How does that

How would that phrase go Something like that You can take You can take the huntie out of the boy But you can't take the boy Out of the huntie or something Yeah Something like that

I think he's I think he's full blown now. Hunty hair. Sit in a barber chair. What will it be? Give me the hauntie. No, say less.

Thank you. When he's done. My wife will love this. Yeah, it would be that flop haircut like that. Big. A lot of flop going on. Dude, girls love.

Girls love long hair. Oh my God. His hair's like longer Remember that shit That was so crazy The flop or just a hard comb over Like you in the video God forbid

I have short hair Like like every girl in the universe Why did you cut your hair? The comb over where the gel is just so evident Like it's it's hard gel comb over Not like styled Oh yeah dude That kind of shit

No, like the hard crusty, like the shit your dad used. Mm-hmm. Hair looks dipped, dude. Dull hair. Bro's got dull hair. Dibs, yeah. Now if you, if you tapped it with your fingers, it would just... Sounds like you're knocking on a door.

Jesus Christ, bro. How long does that take? I've spent seven seconds on my hair my entire life, obviously. Mm-hmm. Yeah. what motivates you I'll let you go there damn I don't even know

in my head I pretty much have a head coach in my head coach a high school head coach from the minute I wake up to when I go to sleep that's what motivates me I wake up what's that we're doing right now

and I'm like he's right dude he's right what are they doing I'm not even kidding I got a head coach in my head at all the time Skip pick it up skip I'm like all right fuck Do you think that's from growing up

With a head coach as a dad Yeah definitely Just always around like I mean My dad's was like that My dad wasn't really coachy like that But he was And then just having coaches like that I don't know

It kind of helps I'd say One of the big ones for me Like I just want to be able to do cool shit for people that I like. Like, I was able to, like on Friday,

for example, like I was able to have some of my buds come up with me and do the rooftop and all that, like just, I just, you know, free of charge. Hey,

you want to come do this? Like, that is sick. That's a big thing for me. It's just really like, because of what I do and who I am. and all that. Other people in my life.

It feels like I give back to people in my life that are close to me, you know? And it's like a way to repay them. And I like doing that. So I was always thinking like, I just don't want people to think, my, my, like, what I'm doing is lame. Like, uh, like,

I didn't want to have like a whack job. So like when you talk to your family, they're like, what are you doing now? I'm like, I'd rather not just like have to explain all that kind of. I'd rather be like, I mean, you follow me on, you follow me on Instagram and Facebook. You like know what I do and stuff like that. Like I just wanted to do entertaining stuff for like my aunts pretty much. Yeah.

I just wanted to be cool. I just wanted my aunts to think I was cool, really. That's my, that's what my driving force behind everything I do. I hope my aunts think this is cool. Yeah, that's. I just don't want to be weird, weird like corporate. guy. I've always asked Ben that even way back like eight, nine years ago at this point where I'd be like, what do you want to do? Like what do you want from this? Like what we're doing in the radio?

Benwood literally like, I just do cool shit. Yeah, pretty much, bro. I just want to do cool stuff. And I was like, all right. I mean, I guess we'll just kind of know what that is. I don't really have a gauge for what cool shit is. But I guess we'll know it when we do it. Who knows? Like everybody in my family is always like, watching and like looking at and taking it like they're just looking at cool shit i was like i want to be on that or like see somebody like doing something cool when i was a kid like i don't know and i'd just be like yeah i want to be that guy like i don't want to yeah that that's a good point i've always had this thing where it's like i i want my people in my life to see me up doing something like that and then to be like

wow, I grew up with him. I know him. That's my best friend. That's my, that's my, that's my, that's my sister's husband. That's my sister, that's my girlfriend's brother. Like, I don't know. It's a weird thing to explain, but kind of like what you're saying is like, really just for the people that I know, you know what I mean? Like I'd want them to be like, wait, holy shit, that's, he's doing it.

I know him. and to be, I guess just make them proud. You know what I mean? Yeah. Not bad for a fact guy. Yeah, pretty much. Man, how to choose, how to choose. Let's go to,

from Chris, subject line, Happy Gilmore 2. Joey, Clubhouse knows you, blew out your back, dusting off the all Happy Gilmore swing leading up to the movie. I thought Clubhouse was a safe space. We knew you weren't going

full hunting mode on the backyard. Anyways, completely agree with your movie review. Love the nostalgia and fun embraced by the movie. There is a scene when Happy receives a FaceTime with his family during golf tournament and says, Daddy's on the T-box before smashing a drive. All I can think about was Daddy's on air. Minute 46 for those following along at home or anyone looking to create a log of movie quotes to hit harder if Clubhouse jargon is used.

Chris in L.A. Knock, knock. Who's there? Daddy's on air. just whack one whack one 400 yards ding dong daddy's not coming home

for the holidays oh shit he does do that though great call Chris yeah got a little clubhouse and happy an HG2

HG2 Oh, man. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't blow. Like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and I wanted me to do it, the people who, and I was like, all right, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll talk about happy Gilmore, too. And, uh, I did it and it went horribly bad. And I somehow hit it, like, hit the ball, like, behind me pretty much. And, uh, thought I re-brew out my back again.

But luckily, we'll, we'll, up the next day are good um dude backs are such wild cards you never know i'm feeling a lot better i am a week a week out it did it took about a week we got a new mattress oh shit it was that bad oh my god yeah you know when you start doing bed stuff you got bad back new bed oh lord Riley was secretly She's secretly so happy. She's secretly so happy Oh my God.

Because she immediately bought it. She could not wait. What kind of bed did you have before? Is it like your childhood bed? No, bro. Come on. Bro, that's how I am. I've had the same bed.

I've had the same bed for like 27 years. Just got a new bed last year. First one. well you don't sleep so it doesn't really apply to you so it's on the ground and if you do sleep you're like standing on your head for some reason hanging upside down blood coming out of my mouth oh it's time to get up yeah we got the uh we got the old nectar always like what the bed of the the bed i've wanted the most in my entire life was that infomercial bed you know that kind of looks like a soft taco.

Remember that bed? It was on every infomercial. You're talking about the one where they would have the wine glass? That's a good one too. I don't know. It's hard to explain. It's a real early infomercial. I know it was all over ESPN.

It's probably where I saw it. But like there's a remote control and like one side of the bed can do one thing and the other can do the other. And you can like you can sit in it kind of like like a beach chair. Like the way you fold it. Dude, it's just that is the coolest bed of all time. I was always just baffled by that one where you can put the full wine glass in the middle of it and then jump up and down and the wine wouldn't spill.

There's just no way. There's just no way that's real. Yeah, because wine glasses literally, if they're on, if there's a slightest tilt in the atmosphere, wine glasses are falling over. If you squeeze a wine glass a little too tight, it's breaking. Wine glasses are pain in the ass. Breaking in your hand.

I like how thin they are though. Kind of turns me on a little bit. I've broken two wine glasses in the last week and I haven't even like not on purpose, not out of. Literally I had it like you were just holding it. I had it and my thumb like I was just tilting it a little bit and my thumb broke into it. That one's done. And then I was cleaning out. wine glasses washing them. You got a hand

wash them. Obviously those things would never survive in the dishwasher. You cleaning those things out and then I'm drying them. I'm going around the Catholic style. I'm going around the mouth of the wine glass. Taste and see. And all of a sudden just boom crumbles in my hands.

I've broken a lot of shit washing it. A lot. I'm waiting for them to have like you know when you're like you're sitting at a bar like at a place and they're like They wash like cups upside down on that thing. Uh-huh. Why are we getting those in the kitchen?

Like in every kitchen there should be a pressure washer cup thing. Yeah. I'm sure my wife will find it if we mention it. Come on, babe. It'll be here. Let's go to Zach. Zach says, No Mars readjusted batting gloves.

You know about that, Ben? Station does not know Station knows about that I don't know about that No Mar Garcia Parra he'd be in the batters box And he'd step out And he'd do like this big routine

Where he'd undo redo Undo redo his batting gloves Boom Yo After every single one I think it was kind of after every pitch So many OCD things in baseball Mm-hmm

Zek says Hey guys I've always loved your vids on socials and finally watch an episode of the pod. Now I'm putting up insane video game numbers ripping through the old Epps. Thank God. Let's go. Man.

Tell the homies. I know it's not a sports or reminiscing podcast, but I always like hearing how people choose their jersey numbers. You sports jerseys were always those basic ones like one to 16, usually grouped by sizes. But I remember when I first got on the travel all-star baseball team and got to really pick my number for the first time, I had so many thoughts running through my mind.

It was struggling to make a decision. Do I pick my favorite player's number? Go with something out of the box, my birthday. For some reason, I always remember mentioning two and three. The coach suggested combining them into 23, then realize someone already took that one. So instead, suggest number 32. As soon as he said, it just felt right. Cut to me getting the jersey and showing my dad.

Come to find out 32 is also his number for jerseys, his whole life. Any stories about how you got your numbers? Bend me over the Sports Nation table and have Michelle Beetle smack my ass while I'm wearing my teal. Ashton, Yabouti, Jaguars jersey. I thought it was hilarious because of that one time here he turned to fumble for a touchdown. And the announcer said, Yabootie takes it in for the touchdown. Zach sent for my older sister's sidekick.

Glad to have you, Zach. That's awesome. Fire, fire email. Michelle Beatle. That's still kind of in love with her. Okay. That's just, that's fired me up there, coach. Excited to have you, Zach.

Welcome. Stay a while. Sports Nation. Coward was on that, right? I always picked my number. Cowherd, Max Kellerman. Dude, the Mount Rushmore. That's who I do it for right there.

That's who motivates me. Dude, I just remember. Max Kellerman. I just remember an episode of Sports Nation. It was Sports Nation Station does know about this episode, Sports Nation. I just remember. It was like, you know, in Halloween,

when Halloween would fall on a weekday and all of the ESPN shows everybody would be dressed up and shit bro yes that's what I'm taught dude I'll oh my God I wish I could rewind and see that why was somebody wearing something

yeah yeah yeah no cowherd went full Ron Burgundy and did the entire show and character as Ron Burgundy bro that's what I'm talking about that is a stuff I love right there. Dude, there's no better thing than when Halloween falls on a weekday and all your shows are just hollowined out.

You're like, yes, bro. Everything is Halloween thing. Bro, this year Halloween is this. This Halloween's on a Friday this year. People are going to be losing their fucking minds. Halloween on a Friday? That is dirty. Oh, my God.

I think it's more of a way. Wednesday holiday for me for some reason. Kind of, kind of. And you're not mad about it and you're not mad about it. But yeah, when it falls on a Friday and you're like, oh, baby, people are going crazy. Well, on Halloween though. I'm just, yeah. Back in the day when Mike and Mike, you know, they're on so early, but they, the show would open up and Mike.

And Mike Greenberg would be dressed like fucking Count Dracula and, and, and, uh, Golick would be, you know, job of the hut or something you're like wow they did that that early they probably had to get in the makeup and everything at like 3.30 a.m. It's all I think about this is gonna make me actually cry this is this is where I'll show emotion

my whole family could drop dead I'd be like hey it is what it is but then I think about like sports nation Halloween theme and I'm like I just can't go any I just gotta I just gotta rest my eyes for a sec all the fake cobwebs all over the mics and shit. Oh my God, bro.

Give me more fake cobwebs on mics. All of that, dude. Little ghosts hanging on the fish line in the back. Give me it all, dude. Even the camera guys like dressed, weird camera guy dressed up his scream. I'm like, yes. Everybody.

All in. Every commercial break when they're going to break, that bumper music is something that has a it was a monster mash dude we're so ready we're so subliminally ready for Halloween right now Halloween horrors bro I can't wait

I thought about it the other day and I got more excited than I've been in like a year I was like yo it's like Halloween time we're gonna start seeing it soon because the back to school rush is over we're gonna start seeing it real soon clubhouse How we chose our numbers. God dang.

Yeah, I mean, when I was younger, it was all just about somebody I liked. Yep, it was all just about who I was real into at the time. A lot of two when I was young because of Derek Jeter. Seven, because seven was just dope. But my grandpa really loved Mickey Mantle. And so I would do seven. Mickey Mantle, dude. I did a lot of two, too, because of Charles Woods.

I was like, that's just a cold number. And then when I couldn't get two, um, I try to stick with two a lot. I never had a consistent, like numbers. They were always weird because you kind of, you never really got to pick or I didn't.

Like it was always like this one or that one. I'd be, fine. Yeah. I'll take 40, you know, because I was, you're,

your choosing to the lesser between two evils. That was a big thing. Yeah. And it was like the size of the jersey too. Like in basketball, like if you wore like a large or XL, like the jersey number would be bigger. And I'd be like,

oh my God, dog. Like, sorry I have to wear an XL jersey because I'm this big in eighth grade, but I don't want to be number 50. Like really bad. Like,

kind of embarrassing. You were always kind of around like, I remember high school 16. Oh yeah. That was just, they get, it was like best available. But you keep that junior and senior year? Like once you got to be older, you could kind of, you could pick.

Yeah, but I was thinking like, in terms of like, um, like recruiting. I was like, I don't want to change my number because I had like a decent sophomore year. I was like, I'm just going to, I'm just going to stay the same. Like I, like if I'm on somebody's radar, this is what I thought. I don't want to like change my number or something in there. Like they can't remember or something like that. I don't know if that even matters. Smart.

Sophomore year football was insane because you know how picking numbers was in high school football. We had like 100,000 people trying to play. That was a big day for me. I was like, I have to be number one in line to get like a decent number. 16 is a sophomore. It's not bad, bro. Oh no, I was about it I was like thank God

But if I got stuck with like some Some like 39 I've been like I don't even know if I want to play For sure Totally it matters It matters Big time Number will throw you off bro

Get a bad number and a bad helmet You're like I kind of don't want to do this anymore And yeah it was always just Who I liked and then as I got older I started playing into with me being the fourth like Joseph Frank the fourth I would always go for four

so four has always been my some four that's always been my number for now like the last 15 years just going into four and I hope Frankie does the same thing I hope he's number five and everything that'd be sick five is dope number

so LT the king of number five LT TCU I thought that was so hard or Jeff Garcia Let's do one more here This will be interesting From Chris

Don't know if this will get read on the show But wanted to send Just in case Joey and Ben Big fan of both of you I've been following you for years Then laughs and the relatable moments are priceless I've not missed one episode of the pod

And love listening to you talk about sports holidays, local references, and the inside jokes you have shared at the clubhouse. Thanks, bro. Yesterday, my wife was on her daily after dinner scrolling on Instagram and I was half listening as I was next to her on the couch when all of a sudden I hear, who's buying this? And he immediately rose to my feet and had her return to the video so I could inform her of who that was, how awesome you both are and how much I love the pot. Safe to say, she didn't share the same level of enthusiasm and returned to scrolling and I

made my way back to the couch. Don't worry, fellas. She'll be a burpee girl before long. Hey, man. I just appreciate the effort. Yeah. I wanted to ask you guys, what was the first CD you ever owned

and what memories do you have of listening to it when you were younger? For me, it was ludicrous word of mouth. And I remember vividly rolling up to the high school parking lot as a sophomore blaring rollout at 6 a.m. As I waited with the upperclassman for our golf coach to show up

and take us to golf practice. Slop my ass as I watched Randy Moss torch the Cowboys in 1998 on Thanksgiving as I chow down on my grandma's cheesecake and answer questions for my relatives about how school is going. Sent for my wife's iPad. Chris.

Grandma's cheesecake, dude. Oh my God. How good is that? The crust. First CD I ever bought. I don't know. I listened to a I remember listening to Now. Remember a now?

out, bro. We had those. Yeah. Dude, now one, two, and three. I was kind of banging those a little bit. Just because it's like a CD like around our house. And I was just like, I guess. And then the first CD I bought, I remember is $14 at Target. Backstreet boys.

Copped it. Like my own money. Like I thought it was so sick that I was able to buy it. I was like, this is like the first, like a Target Saturday. like kind of around this time I couldn't wait to bang that bro now was nice I don't care it was just

yeah it was like okay this is a nice little mix nice little mixie they got for me here that has like 20 songs on it let's go a little bit everything brother they had it all there's so many songs now I feel like back like when now was out there was just like 20 heaters and you're like

yeah but now there's like 17,000 I feel like Yeah, everybody just got their own, their own niche, their own playlist. Dude, mine, God dang. Yeah, this is, what a great question because I feel like everybody always talks about like, your first car, your first, first car is a big one. First movie you went to, I don't know, but I feel like this one doesn't get talked about as much. First CD purchase of mine, I was 10.

I bought Outcast Love Below and Speakerbox Love Below that split album where Big Boy was speakerbox Like the Jocks And Andre 3000 was Love Below That's a dope album

And you like When you get the CD You're like listening to songs That you don't normally hear There's like interludes and like all that type of you're like what it the dude cedes are crazy yeah because at the time i was 10 i had no idea i thought i was just getting the one that had heya and roses on it and it did but then i realized there's that's all you buy it for 22 song album you know and then a whole bunch of different ones that

you still listen to to this day but yeah that was such a cool branding the way that the roses video had both of them going at it with each other Andre 3 000 was the perfect love below like Valentine's guy. Then Big boy is the perfect jock speaker box guy. A little bit of red and black, a little bit of pink and red. Oh man.

Just made so much sense. I loved it. 10 years old. One of my favorites to this day. I'm looking at it right now. Yeah, the, like,

the picture they had on the front of CDs was everything. I remember the offspring, like album cover. Oh my God. That, like, traumatized me for life. It was like a cartoon.

It was a kid. like sitting on a swing with this huge ass bug next to him. Dude, I was scared to walk by it in Target. Yeah. Damn. I was just like, dog,

I don't even want to listen to that. There were ones that you were just like, man. I was like, this is disgusting, dude. You're like, even if I did really love that music

and I did really want that CD, no chance. My mom was letting me get it just because the album cover, you know? Hell no. Hell no. I could look at CD album covers for like an hour though.

I'd just be in targeted. Well, now the records are still such a big deal and everybody's going back to vinyl and you just get a bigger version of that and those are collectibles, bro. Like I have my Charlie Brown Christmas one. I got that for my birthday, I think from my wife a long time ago

and I hold that with like sacred ground. Like, I don't let anybody mess with it because it's a big ass cover and it's like a silver version. yeah that's a top five album for me dude that's a top five thing you like save from your house

when it's burning down you're like I gotta have that not because it's Christmas or anything definitely not no wanna be every one of those songs

make me cry dude do do do do do do do do do dude stop stop that's all you need bro that's all you need You don't even really need, you don't even really need Christmas songs during Christmas. You just need Charlie Brown like in the background.

Oh my God. Oh, it's perfect. Going to the ball. All right. The majority of the songs on that album are just instrumental. So you don't have lyrics that you got to worry about. All you need. Dude, that in the background while you're opening presents on Christmas morning, just shut up and slap me.

That's one of those that you see on TikTok where people are like, you open up comments and people are saying like the nostalgia is literally making me sick to my stomach and that is really is one of those things that makes your stomach like you ache because of the visual

and the memory that brings back I sent you on the other day I sent you like Christmas in the 2000s you can't watch it it's tough dude because then I start a my sister and her husband

me such a hard time. But then I start thinking about how like, I'm never going to have a Christmas morning with my sisters or my parents again, you know? And then that really messes me up and how like I didn't take, I didn't realize and like take advantage of it while I had it. It is never going to happen again. And then see, that's how my head works clubhouse. I get real messed up up there. Anyways, Christmas is over. All right. Team these guys at gmail.com. Keep sending them in. We'll get to them. I promise. They're all loaded up there, but hey, you guys get us off on some good shit and you know how it goes. Rate us, review us, Apple Pod, especially, but wherever you get your podcast, Stitcher, you know, the whole thing. YouTube, putting more shorts up there. These guys, L.O.L. So you have these guys L.O.L. on Instagram, follow that.

but then also these guys L.O.L. on YouTube. It's the same channel that we've had. Just change the name to it to match the Instagram. but subscribe on there watch us every single week and then yeah follow these guys LOL on IG join the clubhouse babe

come to the show is Baltimore September 25th Tacoma October 23rd Sacramento December 4th Phoenix December 13th

14th bro are we still saying are we saying baseball guys at the end in the pot even though it's football season oh should we

should be the last baseball guys until we go football is it time Yeah, let's do one more Okay, uh Poki Reese Buster Posey ESPN

These guys