THESE GUYS! - all cats are girls

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/Baltimore, MD - Sept 25Tacoma, WA - Oct 23Sacramento, CA - Dec 4Phoenix, AZ - Dec 13-14📺 WATCH JOEY ON VICE TVhttps://www.vicetv.com/en_us/channel-finder

you know, roughhousing around like dogs do. It's great. Cats, not so much. Oh, the cats don't like them? Cats like happy, though? Cats don't like anybody, dude. Cats are so, such girls. Can't even believe it.

Every cat's a girl. That's it. That's it. Not bad for a fat guy. Hold me, hold me, because I want to get higher and higher. Oh, my God is on. It's tutu-tut-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. TG time.

Talk to me TG. Can you please talk to me TG? That looks like Jerry Rice out there. Talk to me TG. Bo, Bob, Bob, Bob, get a bug, get a bug, get a bug, get a bug. Can you really talk to me, Tegi? Daddy's all there. Hi, Auntie.

New intro. Oh, baby. All right. Ding, dog. Daddy's home. Knock, doc. Who's there? It's Daddy.

Filling in for Polack. Ski in Connecticut. Uh-oh, daddy's on air, can't make it to his son's fifth birthday. Filming in for J.A. Adonde. Who's your daddy? What's your favorite sides? Oh, back to school bash. Kind of sounds like Dicky Bee a little bit.

I was just about to say he's just broadcast. at assembly hall. Uh-oh. Love the hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ho-ho's. It's Daddy. Guess who-hoo's on the airwaves. Daddy's home. Hasn't seen my son.

I haven't seen my son in three-a-half months. Uh-oh. Oh, God. What's some back-to-school shit? Favorite subject? Favorite subject to go to homework to? Daddy's not going to be a. to help because Daddy's on air.

Five to midnight. No math for me. We got, we got Robbie Hummel on the line. What colors the mass subject notebook? Oh, is it red or blue?

I don't know. Ask Daddy tell Daddy. He's gone absolutely crazy, bro. Can't wait to be on the radio. He's a dude. He's the dude that he, he uh like when when uh when he's on when daddy's on air he's talking he talks openly about how his kids texting him and he's like really annoyed about it you know right in the middle of a

segment uh sorry you go sorry little distracted asking me about algebra long division speaking of things not adding up how about the courts last night Says, Daddy, can't do long division. How about the NFC South? That being a long division, not being a good chance to be the best one in the league. Oh, man. I love that, though. When sports radio hosts, yeah, they like openly vent about how their kids, like, messing something up or annoying them while they're on the air.

You see, this is my problem. This is my problem, Tom. Oh, my God. producer. Oh my God. This is my problem, Tom. What's that? See, I just get a text,

Dad, how do you fire up this lawnmower? I tell you what. You'd be amazed. Do I get paid enough for that? Do we got a lawnmower sponsorship deal? Asking the guest. The guest is like, I don't know, dude. Let's just talk about the Pacers.

Ask me, ask me what pie is. He's doing his homework. Ask me what pie is. That's what, Bo Samuels eating a lot of in the offseason. All right. Just of me and you hosted a sports show. Oh, dude.

Which we definitely don't. What's up, bro? New dog, who does? Oh, my God. Yeah. First, real quick, follow these guys, L.O.L. On Instagram. Subscribe.

Watch us on YouTube. These guys L.O.L. on there as well. Email into the show. Team these guys at gmail.com. Send it to some hunt. send it to some JV coaches. Send it to some dudes who, you know, still have those click-clack underarmor cleats

hanging around somewhere in a closet. I think you hear us coming. I can't tell those cleats were cool or they were just like the blockiest, thickest cleats ever. I never wore them, but the marketing had me. I would watch the Under Armour

football commercials before practice, like two days to get, Like that back half to a day. When you're like the morning one's over, the morning one's a little harder. So like we can kind of cruise on out of here and go to the Mayfest tonight. But I got to get hype for this practice.

So I just watch like those. I forget who the guy was who is the, I don't know if he played or not, but he was in every underarm commercial. Ha! When those kids are on the bus. Was that him? No, it wasn't.

Hey, you mean? Oh, you mean? Do you mean Doug Martin? You mean Jesse Tuggle? That's a made-up name. That's a Jesse Tuggle, bro. That's a full house name.

Like the girls have a crush on Jesse Tuggle. Oh, who doesn't? Uncle Joey comes in and has to talk to him about it. Yeah. Everywhere you look. Jesse Tuggle walks in. It's a-ha- for him and Peter Bullware

What is this podcast? I don't even know what they're talking about. They're just like screaming about Daddy and then like they're, I don't even know what they're doing and now they're talking about a fake full house character. But he sounds kind of hot. Wait, who is Jesse Tuggle though?

Wait. Wait, why is someone talking about Sean Witherspoon for the Panthers and how he's underrated? Wait. Oh, we could have Clubhouse chime in here too Because me and Ben were talking about it a little bit And we want to do another These guys live

We did one last year like four days before Christmas and Indy And it was a lot of fun Tons of jerseys Oh my God Wait, who won jersey the night? Oh, it was a Sean Taylor like Spurrier era Washington Oh my God

We did these guys live in Indy and Indy is where we're from. It's still my home base. But like, hey, we're looking to, you know, we maybe we're thinking we threw out like Columbus, Ohio, throughout Pittsburgh, PA. We threw out, I mean, in Nashville is a hot market for us. Like, so, you know, if there's a consensus,

there's some recommendations from the clubhouse or maybe later on this fall, you know, we could see if the station knows about these guys live and do it from somewhere different. recommendations know about this? Recommendation know about the station looking to teach you your life? Yeah. Comment.

Where do you want to see us? Because we'll come out, babe. Come to the shows too. I'm doing stand-up. Baltimore, September 25th, Tacoma, October 23rd. Sacramento, December 4th, Phoenix, December 13th and 14th. No, for real, though. Tell the homies about the clubhouse.

Join it. Give us five stars. give us a review, just say, you know, whoever, dude. Corey Sleshinger, five stars. That's all we need. Todd Heap, five star, anything. Oh, God, Todd Heap, nightmares. Those corner routes that used to run coming off the edge, dude.

It was like, Flacco to Heep, here we go. God, what a connection. Up the seam, too. Big tight ends up the seam wide open. I'm like, how you miss them? How do you miss them? Hey, hey, hey, clubhouse. Speaking of that.

station now about Mason Rudolph to Darnow Washington up to seam? Just saying. Just saying. Dude, that should be our sports podcast up the seam. In our first segment, taking the top off, it's not what you think, gentlemen. Just us is just us, right? Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, I did really good.

one right, right, right, right. But I love you guys, Hollywood. Yeah, right, right, right, right. Hollywood. Just accomplish the biggest feat in your entire lifetime. He's not even listening, but when you're done talking, right, right, right, right, right. Hollywood, right. Love you guys.

Oh, dude. Retweet my tweet, right, right, right. Oh, my God. Hey, would you get a chance? STD, not the bad kind. Save the date for the golf outing. 13 months of now, right? It's so wild.

Guy, people with golf outings. Just relax. Say, okay, we know. People with golf outings. We know you have one. Is that all you do? People with golf outings. Is that your full-time job?

People with golf addings. For what? For what? I just want to digest. For what? Hey. For what? I'll,

I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll go to a golf outing. And I'll host a cool golf outing, hopefully someday.

But there's just, there's a difference between hosting it and it being your entire life year round. Hey, just one day. Just feel bad for whoever's making all those, like, gift bags, you know?

Hmm. I forgot to tell you I was in Bearer people I was in Wrigleyville I was at the Cubby Bear and I was having a good time

after the Cubs won on Wednesday and this guy came up to me and he said he made a draft joke damn it I can't forget

it off the top of my head but he had a draft beer I think he might have said station up about this draft? And he lifted it up to me and showed me. Some along those lines. So I was like,

this guy. But it was cool. I love when that happens. What a language, you know, language amongst the bros. We could speak in that code, clubhouse code.

Could speak in clubhouse code all night, bro. In front of seven girls, they'd have no idea what we're talking about. That literally would be like alien, alien communication. Everybody has to talk in Fox voice. Stationing out about that? Station about her?

Your girlfriend. Dude, it's so funny to call people out. You got a girlfriend. A girl asked you to like just talks to you for two seconds. Station you know about her? Putting relish on your hot dog. Station about all that? I just love that when we start to.

the clubhouse bar and we talk about it every week but we start the clubhouse bar is no better bouncer in the history of bars than what we have imagine him imagine him outside of the door line coming in checking IDs bro i think he's the bartender i think i don't know dude i think he's a bouncer right on the corner there every single got to check every single one of them starting making making comments about the outfits station i you don't have a jersey on. That was such a good one, bro. That goes down in the books right there.

Yeah, you set it off the top, though, dude. Got another freaking dog. What the hell's going on here? Station, now you got that little thing running around? Dude. It's insane. I don't even know. Like, dude, you should have named them Station, bro.

All right. We, you know, it's Sunday. It's Sunday and we're just looking for something to do, right? Nice little Sunday afternoon. Hot as hell. But, you know, we don't always sit around the house all day. Right. I's like, hey, there's this farmer's market down the road that we can go to.

Cool. Love a good farmer's market. Walking around the sunshine. Maybe find some good salsa. Grab yourself a nice, like craft beer, maybe an iced coffee. A little muffin. get some snacks, some muffin, you know, cool. So we're walking around, we're doing all that that I just said.

We get to the second and the last tent. And it's a dog adoption agency tent. Wow. And they got three puppies. They got three puppies right there on site. And so we're like saying hi to them. Hey, they're really cute. And they kind of, one of them kind of takes a liking to us.

And they're like, yeah, you can take them home if you want. Just this adoption fee. and it was not that much. And they were like, yeah, we had the paperwork, already done his shots, like got him neutered. Like, he's all good to go. He's up to date on his vaccines. You just got to pay the adoption fee and you can take him home.

So we were like, kind of a deal. Well, this dog's awesome and he loves us and our kids love him. Can we take him on a walk a little bit? Like, see how we, yeah, of course. Try out the dog. Oh, my God. we did the dick's sporting good give me a few laps here

let me a few downbacks three cone drill skip skip skip skip skip got your stop watch out short shuttle ran him around a little bit and the kids were digging them and Mirabella was already like

I'm Bob I'm Bob and his name's Bob and so we're like me and right just kind of looked at each other and just kind of like did the old, you know, married couples that get this in the clubhouse.

Like, you kind of just like, chuckle and shrug your shoulders. And you're like, I guess we're doing this. And so all of a sudden, woke up yesterday, just being like, yeah, we're going to go to the farmer's market. That'll be fun. And came home with another dog.

So. Holy. Just off a whim getting a dog. Good looking dog, bro. I mean, like, but the thing is, is it's kind of like, At this point, what's another dog? Like, we already have all stuff for a dog.

We already have a fenced in backyard. Like, we have everything he needs. He's needed adopted. He needed to get home. Like, kids will love him. Screw it. Why not? Bro.

Who's not buying that? On another episode of, who's not buying that dog? It's all caught up. You don't have to do any of the stuff. Yeah, just pay this, take them. That's it. because that's always the thing with a dog. They're like, yeah, okay, well, he's so he has to, he's got three vet visits and you have to get these shots, these shots.

So that'll be like $900. And then he has to get neutered because you don't want to do it. So that's like another like $1,200. And you're like, actually, you know what? I'll just pet him and these cute, but sorry. But when they did all that, yeah, like you said, you're just like, how could I not? I'd be a disservice to this dog to not take him home. A dog tent.

And it helped that we already have happy And his name was Bob So we just call him Bobby like Bobby Boucher So we have Happy Gilmore and Bobby Boucher Happy and Bobby How's happy like him? Loves them Yeah

Like right away they came out there But they've been doing nothing but just playing Like Roughhousing around like dogs do It's great Cats Not so much Oh the cats

not like them. Cats like happy though? Cats don't like anybody, dude. Cats are so, such girls. Can't even believe it. Every cat's a girl. That's it. That's it. Yep. That's, there we go. That's the, either the title or

the graphic that we'll put up from this show. Every cat is a girl. Oh my God. I'm like, I have no idea what you want. You're hungry, you're screaming. You like me? You don't like me. All right. I don't know. You want, hey, you want me to be around you just enough,

but as soon as it reaches your mark, it's over. Yeah. I'm out of this one, bro. I don't know. It's your world, cats. And that ends up being their whole world. Because you're just like, I have no idea. Just run my house.

You're good. Yeah. So we got a farm over at the Molinar household. It really is. You guys need chickens. Do you have them? your neighbors do. Our neighbors have chickens.

And we've, we've babysat the chickens before. Get a couple chickens over there, dude. I mean, you know, we're kind of house looking right now on and off. So maybe we'll just find like a country, country house and just go out there and bring the dogs and the cats and the kids. And screw it, dude. You know, you only get, hey,

you only get one go around at this. Might as well just throw it a whole bunch of, a whole bunch of craziness in there. What's the point? If not. What's the point if not? Live in a farm, dude. Get a gator.

Best, best harvest parties ever, every year. This party. We're playing hide and seek in the woods. Oh, my God. Halloween party is one thing.

Harvest party, that's when you know. That's farm. Harvest party is farm. Halloween party, I like a house and just a neighborhood. Those slap, bro.

Oh, my God. Cobwebs on door handles. Mm-hmm. Is Halloween becoming our new Christmas? It's so good, man. And it's not over yet. It's not over yet. Halloween's not over yet.

It hasn't even begun. Oh, shit. These guys posted on August 6th at a gas station. They should know about the Reese's pumpkins. They had Reese's pumpkins in the gas station August 6th. Those minis. You see the mini ones? What?

I know. Dude, I can't wait to just take out a PSL. Five seconds gone. I actually crushed the cup, too. Oh, my gosh. You catch me on a day where, oh, man, I'll take out 20 PSL. They're so good. There's not one person that doesn't like them, right?

I don't like... What still freaks me out, though, is that in your situation out there in L.A., like a PSL on a 76 degree perfect sunny day. It's just a little bit different than the crunching of the leaves next to you that's falling when you're walking out of Starbucks and it's like, you know, 62.58. No doubt. 100% different. Get them iced here.

Not that bad. It still hits, but it doesn't hit like, it doesn't hit like spooky season in the Midwest. Nothing hits like that. That's a whole thing that the chill and the chill. the air a little bit. Hey, hoodie. Just a yellow hoodie. What? That's a station now about this.

Walking with a PSL. Shorts. Ooh. Speaking of that. Coffee and Jordan Shorts. Glad to meet you. Shorts, hoodie, PSL. Mids socks.

Smack my ass. Smack my ass. Let me listen to AM radio. All I need. All that's missing from that equation is a little static radio in the background with like a pregame show. With Daddy on air? Pretty much. Can't say it enough, man. You got your costume,

you got your costume figured out? Hold on. These guys merch. These guys merch. These guys merch. I know it's a middle drop here, but get that TG merch. It's up with a friendly on YouTube.

What do we have now? We have Clubhouse. We have, um, we have station, know about this. Huntie hats. got station oh about this hoodies we got station oh about this hats we got not bad for a fat guy

hats and we got these guys hoodies kind of a nice little slate of merch yeah definitely should get on it uh Halloween costume picked out well I mean you know me and clubhouse knows me my default every year is Michael Myers you know I kind of just so good I got the jumpsuit I got two different masks can always play um um But, you know, we have started talking a little bit maybe about the Incredibles. Have you seen the Incredibles? Oh, God. I think I have.

Because Frank's at the age. And if you have his hair the right way, he kind of looks like dashed, a little fast kid. And then Rye, if she puts the hair over her eye, she kind of looks like Violet. She could also pull off of Miss Elastic Girl or Elastic Girl or whatever. Yeah. So maybe that for doing a family. thing, I don't know. But no, we haven't, we haven't figured it out yet.

We haven't made the venture to that Spirit Halloween that's been open since July. Dude, just right when you walk into Spirit Halloween, just nine of those things that like actually pop out at you. It's so crazy how they like kids in there. I'd be done for. Oh, yeah. How they have those full, they're not houses, but they're like haunted house attractions that yeah.

Yeah. I was so scared to go in those. Like grocery stores used to have those too. Grocery stores used to be Spirit Halleons. Remember that? You walk into Meyer and they'd have a haunted house in the middle. Oh. Scream mask with the blood coming down.

They took it to a different level though. Yeah. Do you still have that scream mask with the blood? I never had that one, but I paid like $400 for one that just has a smile. I thought a couple years ago You had the blood one I'm gonna need to buy it Honestly I can't I kind of can't live without it

It's my whole entire childhood I want the one that From scary movie where he's stoned And his eyes are real low And his tongues out Yeah that one That one's on the internet I've seen that one

That one's pretty good That one's pretty good It's wild though Not the only Not thinking about Halloween like you know what I've been thinking about is that weird scrimmage that you'd have in high school football like the week before school would start but I guess school is already in session for everybody now but for us it was like the week before school would start right before the regular season

it was like this isn't a game we're not kicking out I don't know what's going on here is my girlfriend here this is so weird no people wanted that the girl thought that was a real game. Can't convince me that every girl in your school didn't think that was the first game of the year. I think everybody was just itching so badly to have something to do and to start that up.

Everybody was just like, oh my God, we're doing the theme and we're getting our jerseys and we're going and by that. It was like, I didn't like how they treated it like a real game. Because I was like, guys, can we chill? Like, it's just, hey, it's just Franklin.

You know what I mean? It's just Franklin. No, but dude, your guys are playing defense a little later on. You got a number 90 in that quarterback. I'm like, this isn't a real deal, guys. Chill out. 90 at quarterback. 90 QB, 94.

The coaches were in the huddle and like behind the play. That was a little comforting for me. I kind of like that. Kind of took me back. Kind of took me back to like third and fourth grade football. coach would be on the field. I'd be like, this is awesome. Yeah, because dumb ass over there wouldn't know what the hell is going on at the

plays. So it was probably nice having somebody that you could just, eh, am I good? And like, right, right, right. And like the, it's just, he was just dialing it up right there on the field. I was like,

this is so easy. 34 blast. On two, babe. Right? On two? Dialing it up. He's right back there, dude. Right back there.

No high school football coach is dialing anything up. I don't know, dude, waggle right. Waggle right on third and nine. Backside X, Deep Post. Did they ever even look at him? Absolutely not. Hey, was he always 100% wide open? Yep.

Dude, don't talk about John Jenkins like that. Why are you talking about Brandon Bantle like that, dude? Come on, dude. Chad Beard, leave him alone. I always felt, I felt bad for the receivers at the running back school. Because we were at a running back school. You were kind of like Z, so you kind of got the rock a little bit. but like we had some good receivers and I was like

he's just never going to get the ball kind of it sucks and we always had a quarterback that could kind of gun and I was like I mean what do we we're kind of wasting a little bit here like we could just we could go out of the gun right now yeah God did the shotgun that show is so like I know that everybody has seen it and you watch it on TV all the time but then like when you're when your high school team was running the

gone, you're like, damn, that's cool. Like, we might, we might have something here. Shotgun on the goal line. I'm like, these guys know what they're doing. These guys, come on, man, we're going shotgun on the goal line empty.

We got Eric Duncan, dude. What up? When in doubt, throw it up to 83. That's what I'm saying. Oh, my God. tied in option route.

I don't even know who they're talking about. They just say all these names. Like we know who they're talking about. Kind of hot. Let's get to the clubhouse here because we got a lot. So team these guys at gmail.com. We're talking about it's fall. We were talking about Halloween and everything.

and so we'll start with Tommy here. Tommy with an eye. I don't know if this is a burpee girl or what's you're going on. But Tommy with an eye says fall attire. Hey boys, long time listener, second time emailer. I've got a question for you. Could you guys construct a perfect fall attire from head to toe? For me, it's simple.

Hooding and shorts, but could use a little help to add to this. Just walked outside rocking that combo. and honestly, I don't think even a nuclear war could ruin my vibe right now. I'm sitting up on the porch, watching my lawn, full on dad mode, sipping my coffee and thinking about 90s linebackers. So what's your perfect fog get up?

Slap me in the ass sideways and call me cozy, Tom. All right, so not a lady, I don't think. Sorry about that, Tommy. Appreciate you anyways. Station, now your name spelled like that? Yeah, I got this one. I'll start this one.

I'll start this one. Here we go, babe. Give me the deeps. Perfect fall attire for Mollinard. Okay. We're going to start with some black jeans. We're going to throw on some kind of beat up but functional white sneakers. We're going to have a hoodie on.

Talk to me. And then we're going to throw a baseball or football jersey on whatever the situation is. because, hey, if it's October, Cubs could be playing in the playoffs. Also, maybe they're not playing the playoffs. Maybe your team's not in it. It's a Saturday, it's a Sunday. You want to rock your team.

That's it. Obviously, with a hat too. Don't think it's going to be cold enough for a beanie that's later on in the year. So give me a good ball cap, give me a good trucker hat type of thing. And that's ideal for me. When I put that on on a Saturday,

I know I'm going to have a great day. Wow. I'm thinking, like, you found it randomly. It's a crew neck, and it's like a 1999, graphic of your squad on the crew neck. For some reason, I'm thinking cowboys. I don't know where I got it, but it's a Cowboys one. It's just like, yeah.

Give me some Jordan shorts that kind of match, but not really, but kind of match, obviously. They're not like red. And then going AF1 mids with the strap. And then we're going, we're going just not bad for a fat guy hat. Just white, got to go white. Just taking a stroll down the street.

PSL in hand. Great call on the crew neck. Yeah, dude. If you get a crew neck, for some reason when you said that. You could shoot me with a shotgun. For some reason when you said that my mind immediately went to like yeah when you said Krunek my mind immediately went to like 90s Disney that kind of thing yeah like Mickey Mouse

Saturday on there it's a Saturday you're doing this and sometimes they even have like NFL ones like it's a giant's one but like Taz is on it with like a giant's hat you're like yeah just picked it up that fit or it's a Saturday it's a Saturday it's a little more sexy in the air, no school tomorrow. And you're wearing like a 1996 Fiesta Bowl one. Oh my God, I'd kiss

that guy. I would kiss that guy. Come here. Damn. Tasmania devil. Tasmania devil, dude, you're right. Whenever the Tasmania devil is on anything, like, man, we're getting wild here with Taz. Who knew? Who knew they could cross over

like that? Tasmania with a football helmet with one bar. Exactly. It's 49ers too. You're like, I guess he's the kicker now. He's all over the shirt, right? He's all over it. There's like three of them on there.

Spinning. Ruining the field. The field's all torn up. There's a field on there. You can cut. Like, it's something you found out of garage sale. And you're like, oh, my God. They don't know what they have.

you know, you find something and you're like, they don't know what they've got. Or, or it was your dad's, and it's got kind of that like crust, 1995 smell to it. Flaky screen print. It's real thin. You know how many backyard football games your dad played in that? Oh, man.

Probably like 96 of them. All of them are on Thanksgiving. 96 Thanksgivings in a row. What a he? Whitey! Hey, with matching Heather gray sweatpants that have elastic

around the ankles and the hips. Such. It's so dad right there. Dads love that monochrome. That's a fit right there. Mm-hmm. That is a fit.

Great question, Tommy. From Ethan. How about this? It says, Greetings from Taiwan. Wow. What's up, fellas? Gonna keep this one short.

Big fan since day one. I'm originally from Philadelphia, but moved to Taiwan in 2021 for work reasons. Your podcast helps tremendously whenever I get homesick, with all the sports talk and reminisce and stuff. brings me back to the good old days. Your podcast truly is one of those I look forward to each week. Helms me get through the week.

And when there's nothing good to listen to, I'd re-listen to old episodes with my favorite being the episode where you guys go off about the nicknames for wrestling cheerleaders. Parentheses, slings sluts, L.O.L. Thanks for the last and keep up the good work. Don't ever stop. Ethan.

Got the chills. That's awesome. Hell yeah, Ethan, glad. That's the whole point, you know? Me and Benny just getting our once a week hangout in and everybody else gets to come along for the ride. So that's awesome. Slink slots, dude.

Wow. Forgot about that episode. We're all the same guy. May I have to post that again to these guys, L.O.L. We're just reposting all the hits. Just getting it back up there. new page man we got we have to don't talk don't talk about the rebelettes like that dude

oh comment comment underneath your wrestling cheerleader's nickname rat mats rat mats or matt rats mat rats mat Matt rats are you kidding me oh my god there's no way there's no way that's actually probably is I'm a Matt rat rat

This is from Joey. Ben Jarvis Green Ellis and Lawrence Moroni. Same guy. Always kind of thought so. These guys, my girlfriend recently bought me a clubhouse sweatshirt for my birthday. She asked what it was from and I tried showing her a clip of the show and she said, I mean, the sweatshirt is cute, but I just don't get it. I mean, yeah, perfect.

I will try to send her a clip for the Burby Girls once I see it on the Instagram page to win her over. Slop my ass with an old pair of Reebok Zygtex I found when helping clean my parents garage Sent from my Motorola backflip Ooh Love old phones You guys are dropping crazy old phones, man Oh my God

That's nuts I wonder what hoodie it is Is it say a clubhouse one? Yeah It's like I love that hoodie Might be the best thing we've ever done That's the thing I'm Looking forward to most on that first crispy ass September, October morning throwing that on.

You got the, you have the black one? Yeah, you gifted me the black one. Does it say you gifted to me because it's our shit. But yeah. Let's go. Nothing.

That one hoodie that, you know that one hoodie that fits the best. Everybody's got one pair of one of everything. I just. Can't wait to put it on. It's always the thing that's like low maintenance too. I've never had like a high profile piece of clothing that's really fit that well. It's always like the cheap thing.

That's the good thing about our merch, a bitch, is I think even the burpee girls, even the ones like that who don't get it, they would still be like, I mean, I like it. They would get the show, but they'd be like, that's cute. A big pink clubhouse hoodie at a football tailgate? Get out of here. Wear it. A white one? A blue?

Oh, come on. And that's how you start. That's how you slowly but surely start to get them in. You start to reel them in like a tractor beam. Sucked me right in. The cute merch. And Jarvis Green Ellis and Lawrence Moroni, though. Yeah, there's somebody else too.

Oh, Marion Barber. Mary and Barrier. Those three? Talk about Spider-Man meme. Marion Barber, Lawrence Moroni, but Jarvis Green Ellis? It was Marion Barber, Lawrence Moroni for me. I was like, I don't really know. Where'd Marion Barber go to college?

Gopher And then Lawrence Moroney was too Yeah Did they have them at the same time? Pretty sure Because on the game They were both impact running backs For Minnesota and I was like

How do you stop that? And it was when Minnesota Just had the plane straight up Gold pants Maroon jersey maroon helmet It's my favorite Favorite Minnesota dude They would knock off like a big

Like Penn State every once in a while they kind of have Michigan on the ropes beat them one year. I was like Minnesota? Lawrence Moroni was insane. Eric Decker at Minnesota. Oh, he was, that was post, that was like when they got the new uni's. They kind of got a little swag to him after a minute.

Eric Decker was hot at Minnesota. Minnesota, just that team every year that you're like, could have a Rose Bowl run in him. There's nothing bad about them. There's never been... Have they ever had a down year? I'm like, they're always like middle of the pack, but honestly, they could beat any...

Throw the records out. Any given Saturday, boys. Seriously. I just remember when... Put 56 on Maryland. You're like, okay, they're for real, dude. I just remember when Eric Decker was like throwing touchdown passes and shit at Minnesota.

too. I was like, the best player ever. The hell is going on here. It just crossed my mind. In my head, I was like, wait, was he the receiver or the quarterback? He's doing everything, dude. I think he's like returning punts. I was like, jeez. Be hotter. Be hotter. Don't let your girl around Eric Decker. Wow. But, hey, Minnesota, when they had the dome, yeah. Yeah. So cold.

Minnesota just beating Wisconsin in the Metro Dome Going to chop down the tree Of Paul Bunyan's axe Bring me back the Metro dome God Oh man The Metro dome

Oh That's one you remember Those old stadium names What was a Broncos old stadium name Mile high Okay Wait what was Qualcom Oh, that was a Chargers

I hate that With all the logos Are on the top I'm like this is so Super Bowl Like how is it so Not here every year It's so weird to me Because it looked like

The reason I remember that Is because the stadium Looks like the word Qualcomm In my head for some reason Like remember how in the outside They had all those Yeah All those winding ramps

I was always like hypnotized by the Chargers Stadium. It was always so bright out when they play, but I was like, this is still kind of a party. Dude, every team's logo on the top, that was so sick. A team wouldn't dare to do that, like in today's day. I don't think that they ever had a bad weather game. It never rained, dude.

They're called the Chargers, no elements whatsoever. Swear to God. Think about one game in San Diego. Try to think to one game in San Diego. even if it was the Poinsietta Bowl that they always play there, the holiday bowl they play in San Diego. Never. And that's why it was so wild when the Chargers were in San Diego,

and it was in the L.T. Philip Rivers, like Sean Merriman days, they would be hosting playoff games. And, you know, you're sitting in Indianapolis or on the East Coast or wherever, and it's so dark and shitty and cold and everything. And then you're watching the Jets and the Chargers, perfect 78 degree day in San Diego. Chargers What hell is going on?

Netron Main is now about this? Stagherne now about Netron means? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Real quick, who is the Chargers like main receiver back then? I can never think of Chargers receivers. I mean, obviously, like, Keenan Allen. It might have been, it might have been too,

you might be thinking earlier in this, but Vincent Jackson? Yeah, it's earlier than that. Because he was kind of a dog. I can never think of... Is it Kingin McArdle? Nah, Jags. Jags and Bucks.

Was he Caldwell? I don't know, man. There's one guy. Chargers... Okay, I'll type it in. Chargers, receiver, what year? I just looked up to 2006 Chargers. That's exactly it.

That's when they were 14 and 2. It was Keenan McArdle, wasn't it? had no idea he played for them feel like a snob it's up Tim Dwight god this is wow Nate Cating the kicker

what up Curtis Conway he's more bears yeah dude I think I think it is just Vincent Jackson just forever yeah because he had a little bit of the OG navy blue gold chargers

and then the new age where they introduced kind of the light blue and everything. I hate how they like went so far into light blue that it kind of like it's kind of washed now. Like remember it was like

when the Chargers applied Monday night and bust out those like powder blues it was like like you told your friends about it the next day at school. Bro, they wore the powder blues last night. It was crazy. They did like twice a year

and all of a sudden they're like Full powder blue. Yeah, I feel like because they were the only ones that called a powder blue. Mm-hmm. yeah it was just super different and not a lot of teams had

alternate jerseys then either like the Baltimore would mess around and wear black the Jags would wear black when the Jags wore black on Monday night it was kind of over I remember the beat the shit of the Steelers one time on Monday night you know what I'm talking about

I was like I mean damn always did all black against the Steelers and it was always in Jacksonville was like God tough David Garard is not that good They had a really good linebacker, though, for a minute.

The Jags? Jags linebacker, yeah. And like 06-07? Yeah. Wasn't Paul plus Lozny, was it? Uh-uh. It was earlier than that. This is our show.

This is why I don't understand the podcast. Like, what are they doing? They're just like doing trivia. Was it Mike Peterson? I don't know. Somebody was popping on. for like a year. I was like,

that dudes kind of got it. He had a lot of accessories, if I remember. I think this, yeah. God damn it's like when it's like when Keith Bullock played for the Titans. He like had a cowboy collar

and the half sleeve Jason Witten arms. Nothing better than red gloves too, I think. Stationed out about those red gloves? Yeah, I don't know. but they had somebody going off just smacked your own bed is in the backfield.

I was like, I got to go to bed. This is crazy. All right. From Jack, what's happening? Well, the subject line is rafters. He says,

what's happening? I loved hearing about your guys's dream bar. My buddies and I have been building a dream bar for two years now. It's called rafters. There's a point system where you get and lose points for the following. You get points for good sports takes. Number of beers you drink, funny comments, basically being a fun person to chill with. You lose points for bad sports takes, being the annoyingly drunk guy at the bar, or annoying comments during a game.

Example, during a booth review, you say, it's got to be indisputable video evidence. Oh, that's funny. Your buddies nominate your take slash comments. There's a live board tracking everyone's points and a sole guy's whose job it is to award or takeaway points. from people. Basically the bar version of Around the Horn. Yeah, dude.

I was just gonna say that. The entire year and the winter at the end gets to hang with their old t-shirt, flannel sneakers or whatever they want in the Raptors. Thanks for all the laughs in the office on Tuesday afternoons.

Jack. I'll like it. I like it. Imagine you and your boys just loaded with hot takes at a bar sitting in the booth in the corner. It's the round booth.

Just heavy apps. heavy apps in the middle of the table and you guys are just locked and loaded TVs on blast and then just Tony reality walks in Oh shit! He comes in with like his like joysticks He's chilling with you too

But low key giving you points Oh my God How do you get muted? I forgot that was a feature on around the horn He would mute He would always mute Woody Page Woody page for half the show No, because I think

wasn't it when they'd be muted is when they would like make a black and white and they would kind of be frozen or is that just when they lost? That's when they lost. And that was so cool, bro. They would lose, but they would like make a face. He'd be like, for the rest of the show.

Plashky just You're not going to go out with the Tony. You're not going to be. It's going to be. God, I just want to be a frozen around the horse. when I die, I just want to be frozen around the horn. The last picture of him before he died, me. At the end of your funeral, that the theme song.

When you're going to break, all right, get out of here, Politi, but do, do, do, do, do. Tony Raleigh balls up a piece of paper, throws it at my gravestone. I take Woody. Page's spot and have like some weird quirky saying on a board right up there right next year. Not bad for a fat guy.

Every week. To live Woody Page's life, man. Yeah, you're going to be on ESPN every day and you're just going to be completely yourself. Pretty much. You're going to be completely insane. Just a lunatic. Like, yeah, we want your hair like spiked up and frazzled. Like you just touch one of those science balls where it goes

just be that. You're going to look like a mad scientist, pretty much, and everybody's going to love you. God, he was so good. Imagine if he was like your hometown reporter. I'd be like, yo, we got Woody Page. Shut up. We got Woody Page talking about this station. Also, you're going to be the same, you're going to be the same age for 35 years. Oh, he's getting younger. Woody Page, is his son Ty Pennington? Never mind. Uh, let's go to Brendan. Best Movie Uniform Switch. Mighty Ducks 2 when they changed from the team USA uniforms to the real Mighty Ducks during the final game against Iceland.

Station had to know about that. Says, oh, his subject line is Fitzgerald Tucson. Oh, Steelers, right? Michigan, too. DB, DB. Running back. Running back. He was back up and he filled in in 2015 when Lev Bell went down.

and DeAngelo Williams went down too. And so in the wildcard round against the Bengals our starting running back was Fitzgerald Touss. And he actually played really well. And then he was playing pretty well in Denver in the divisional round two until we were up by five, I want to say, with like five minutes left to go in the fourth.

And he fumbled right near midfield as we were driving to clinch the game and the Broncos came back in one. Broncos Steelers, one of those games, man. One of those rivalries that isn't actually a rivalry. Anyways, he says, I've been thinking, my birthday is August 24th, which I think is not only a sexy date,

824 Kobe Day, but also the best time of year to have your birthday. You're in that sweet spot where you're far enough away from the early year holidays, St. Paddy's Day, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, but not quite to the later holidays. Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Perfect dead time to have another celebration.

The only downside is my birthday fell on the first day of school a few times. What do you think is the ideal time of year for your birthday to be? Smack my ass with a broken down goalposts as the home fans carried off the field after a huge upset. Sent from my Motorola Razor. Razors took over the world at one point. I bought in. No doubt. I was Razor game for a while.

No doubt. it was so slow I think it made me dumber actually best time for a birthday this is tough I gotta say brother mine is 828 so I'm right there with you we're in the same week and I've always enjoyed my birthday it's like I remember when I was growing up

we'd be in school for like a week and a half and I was like yeah but I got my birthday so I get you through and then I would be basically Labor Day and I'm like ah we're good we're back in it so I hear you there I think it's a great time to have a birthday my son's birthday is August 30th So he's right there with us too. That's a good dead spot.

Mine's right by Halloween. Kind of doesn't make sense. But it's a cool, like, it's a cool, like part of the year to have a birthday. Yeah. Because you got all the,

all the, just stuff. My birthday is just a fall candle. Descent, to the worst birthday's got to be, like, around Christmas. And that's everybody's birthday.

You ever notice that? I'm like 98% of the population and has their birthday in like December 22nd. There are so many people in my like age range. I was like, yeah, that sucks, but happy birthday. I'm like, why would we even celebrate it? Like, we have to like go see our families into, I don't know. I have to wear a turtleneck for three days straight.

Why am I? I think you got to have a birthday during like this calendar, like the school year. That's the best time. It's like birthdays in the summer. I was like, so did you even have one? Right. Who witness to,

who's there? I don't know. Your birthday was July 17th. Cool. Nobody knows or cares. It's not a real date. If it's not the fourth of July, there's no real dates in July.

So, sorry. A birthday on January 1st would kind of be dope. Because that's like a holiday. You got a birthday on there. Kind of amp it up a little bit. It wouldn't be bad.

I'd say, I got it. Give me like May 10th, May 12th. Now give me May 7th. We still kind of in school then?

You're still kind of in school, but it's already a party. Like we're in May? Schools out in like three weeks. It's nice weather. You got the summer to look forward to. Everybody's in a good mood because the excitement of school being out. And you're like, summer's coming.

Yeah, of course. Let's do crazy. What? We're doing a pool party. We're doing a, well, we're going to the water park. What?

Yeah, those birthdays, those are always the kids that were like a little older in your grade that had that summer birthday. Like right before school got out. There's always the kid that could like drive and he was like 15. Summer birthday.

He like got he got caught up and he wasn't in the grade ahead of us. Like he was the oldest kid in the grade below. I was always like those dudes, that's a wild move. But has a whole, has a whole summer to drive. you know. I was crazy.

Dude, you never forget the dudes who had cars first. I was like, you can drive. What? All five of us are in here right now?

Okay. All five of us are in this transam? I was like, this can be legal. Like, there's no way you have all the documentation.

Subs. Subs. Subs going to Speedway. That's the only reason any guy has a car high school just to go to the gas station. Gas station or the mall or a girl's house that you're

kind of talking to. Nose itching. Me and somebody's car the whole time. I'm like, can you actually just turn it down? Oh my God. Chevy Blazer, Fordor. Please turn it down. White Chevy Blazer Fordor. Black ass windows.

Got it for Christmas. Got it because he got above a 3.5 GPA. I mean, earned it. I'd always go about like, how do you even ask your parents? Some people would get like rims for their, like for, I got them for Christmas. Rims? I'm like, how do you get that for Christmas?

Yo, dad, yeah, just go go to rim time. It's on the west side of Indy across from the steak and shake. You might get shot and robbed, but like, can you cop me four all black midnight rims for Christmas? Like, how do you even? I also surprised me with them on my car on Christmas morning. Go ahead, Pop. Appreciate it. I just didn't have those capabilities.

I was like, no one knows what this is. I was like, can I get a Mike Wallace jersey? I don't know. Guys, geez, that's what Christmas is right there.

Some easy. Come on. It's in the store across some Antianns, medium. What more do you need, dude? Come on. Getting a jersey for Christmas is like nothing else.

Oh, I'm dude. I'll never forget. I walked in the Sportsman Acts December 23rd looking for trouble. All black Peyton Manning jersey. Ooh, I still kind of want that. No blue on it. This is the home cold jersey?

Just like the kind of more, I think it was stitched. and the blue was just flipped to black. Oh, saw a couple of dudes had it like the Monday night Colts game. So hard. Were the numbers white? White.

Everything was just like the home jersey, only the blue was black. And it was just, and Manning, Manning for some reason was cold because like, I don't know. It's just... Only you, dude.

It's just funny. It's just funny because like he was, I don't know. Just a guy, I don't know. Just a guy with no sweat. All black jersey. So sick. Let's do one more here from Brett.

Jason Hanson's right foot. So, boy, second time, long time. Listen back to the baseball house episode and a young Benny rather taking a bundle of bananas

or grandma's piggy bank than any of the girls in the house. Effing gold. I played D3 college soccer in Michigan. Looking back, the games and playing never mattered, but the brotherhood and friendships made the student debt

and not using my degree at all well worth it. Anyways, that old episode got me thinking of a similar story I have for my sophomore year. I graduated 10 years ago, so I should be in the clear telling this to the clubhouse. One Saturday night, me and a few of the boys on the squad went to a frat party. Keep in mind, the dudes who were in the party frat at a small college have a very similar personality to the dudes who live at the baseball house. The D3 clubhouse knows what I'm talking about. Somehow we ended up in the basement of said frat and holy F, it was a gold mine. There was random shit everywhere.

We found a black garbage bag and went to town. We threw in at least three pairs of Nikes, a tiki head, random posters, and a fencing helmet. You know what I'm talking about, the beekeeper joint that two people use when they're dueling with the weird swords. Elated with our take, we now found ourselves in a bit of a pickle. How are we going to get out of the basement of a packed frat house with a garbage bag full of shit?

To this day, I think this is the greatest idea any of us have ever had. We got to the top of the basement stairs, swung the door open, and one of our buddies had his head inside the garbage bag pretending to yak inside of it. Meanwhile, the rest of us are behind him yelling, get out of the way, we gotta get him out of here. He's sick. Everyone parted like the effing red sea all the way to the front door.

As soon as we got out, we sprinted and cried laughing the entire way back to our shitty dorms. What a time. Sorry for the long email and thanks for letting me share, boys. Slap my ass with a role of pre-wrap as right above it by Lil Wayne is playing in the background of your high school locker room at halftime before your

coach comes in and scream to you for eight minutes. Best. Brett. What a heist. You gotta really have some, like, you gotta have four brains together to think about that. What would you have done in that situation?

I don't know if I would have stolen a gang as stuff. I probably, if I really wanted something, I would have gone back when it was late. And maybe acted like I was passed out, woke up at 3 a.m., took whatever I need. need to take and tip.

Just walking out with a huge Jose Cuervo poster. Because at that point, it's late enough that if anybody like on the couch or wherever, like happen to wake up and see that, they'd be like, that was a dream. Right. Too late. But it had to be really late, though.

It had to be like 4 a.m. Because people don't even sleep. It might have had to be 5 a.m. I had a dream last night that Pelosi just came in and took our world's most interesting. interesting man poster? Get a catcher's mask on too. I don't know, man. My meds must be messing with me or something.

I got to stop drinking so much red wine. As I'm tacking that thing up on the wall in the living room of my dorm. Yeah, it's quite a heist there, man. It sounds like a plot of a TV episode or something. I wonder if those right back in and let us know if those D3, what did you say? D3 frat if they ever. I don't know, put out like a notice online or like signs up about like, hey, where the hell's our stuff?

Once that thing's, once stuff like that's gone from your place in college, you ain't getting it back. No chance. No, you just move on. It could be a whole person. I mean, good luck. All right. Team these guys at gmail.com. That come.com.

com. Subscribe and follow wherever you get your pods. YouTube, these guys LOL, Instagram, these guys, L-O-L, L-O-L, keep DM and keep emailing, stick com and sharing it with Hunties. Yeah, go see Ben in Baltimore next month.

That's coming up. You've been pushing that for a bit. It's coming up. Baltimore, Binnie. Buy the merch too. Homeboy said his girlfriend got it for him for his birthday. I appreciate you. But yeah, we got birthdays. We got, hey, never too early. buddy, he got a text from his dad. He shared it in the group. He got a text from his dad already.

Starting up Christmas shopping. What are we thinking? Dad? Dad. Dad texted that? Getting ahead of it. Getting ahead of it. You know, so it's never too early to say, hey, this clubhouse hoodie right here, that'd be nice. And then your mom can be like, station, know about that? And you'd be like, yeah, mom, you just don't get it. So, cool. Wouldn't understand. Wouldn't understand. Get your tickies. Tell the people, grow the clubhouse, follow these guys L-O-L-L. comment, do it all. Yeah. We'll see you next week, babe. Talk to you next week.

T.J. Lang. Wait, are we doing baseball or football? I just switched it to football. Brian Billick. These guys.