THESE GUYS! - All Pilots Are Jets Players
Episode Date: November 1, 2023this week the burpy boys talked about the worst jerseys🌴 WATCH BENNY ON FBOY ISLAND SEASON 3 STREAMING ON THE CW🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu....be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?variant=41218692775993
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My grandma and grandpa on my dad's side legitimately believe and will take to their grave
that my grandfather came up with the idea for grocery delivery service.
TV 58.
FD 58.
I'm not even supposed to be talking right now.
Bro, yeah, this is weird.
He doesn't.
Michael Miles.
He doesn't.
He doesn't sound like?
No, he doesn't talk.
ever?
No
dude I really like the
screaming voice
I'm like
I'm a big fan
yeah
that is a very cool part
that doesn't get talked about enough
but like
half the time
isn't it like
a girl
that's in the screen costume
dude there's been so many of them
that may be
but that face
that's a big payoff
from last week's episode
right there
the high smiley face
of a ghost face
That's awesome.
This mask was $300.
Do you feel good about that investment?
Do you feel like it's worth it?
I would have paid $30,000 for it.
I have never seen that mask in real life,
only in movies and shit.
I think that's why it was so expensive
because it seemed like it was like a big,
like very high demand.
And I did buy it like a week before Halloween.
So it was like the,
the wrong time to shop for it, but whatever.
Yeah, nah, that makes sense.
All right, PG-58.
I miss you.
Miss you.
We're remote right now, if you can't tell.
And on YouTube, it's a Halloween episode.
We're celebrating and we're recording on Halloween.
And so we got high ghost face,
Bini Boy and Michael Myers Joy Joy.
And now I'm actually going to take this mask off
for the rest of the episode
so you can actually hear
what I'm saying
and so I can actually breathe
so one two
three
tell your head
till your head
yeah there you go
oh yeah
that's what he does
that's money
that
that
whew
dude it sounded
like you had like
200
100 grand in your mouth
oh my god
I just looked over
my son has his Halloween
costume
him on. He's a kangaroo. It's so sweet.
Wow, he's actually doing it.
He's been taking his hat off and he's doing so well
with it. And Clubhouse who subscribes
on YouTube is going to get a sneak peek of him.
Show Frankie. Come on.
Yeah.
Dude, kangaroos are jacked too.
So this is kind of, this is a look
right now.
Oh, because Joey? Because Joey,
I get it.
It was a mom's idea. I swear to God.
No, I'm just, now I put my
Steels.
But you're still like...
There you go.
I put my steeles out of my phone.
Strong as Michael Myers, right?
Oh yeah.
No, I got it on.
I don't know if Mama is doing anything.
But being warm because it's like 40 degrees here.
Oh, shoot.
It's always like that on Halloween.
It's always like raining.
You're like, what?
She says she's going to be on theme but not in costume, whatever that means.
That's good.
That's good.
At least she's not totally out, you know?
Yeah, dude, this is a huge Halloween for all those moms, for pretty much every mom with that.
Put the jacket on.
Get the coat.
Ru-it in the Halloween costume.
It's so true, dude.
Moms and coats.
Like, can we just stop?
But one time I'd never been in a bigger fight in my life than when my,
mom and dad made me and my sisters wear raincoats to St. Barnabas when I was in like third grade.
For Halloween or just a school?
No, it was just like a normal day.
But it was raining and they were like wear raincoats in boots.
And we're like, no.
It was like an actual family fight first time ever.
So it was three verse two?
Yeah, dude.
We didn't get the dub.
We didn't get the dub.
well you put up a valiant effort i'm sure knowing you and your sisters so that's good we're never
big raincoat family i think i just need out and let that do the talking yeah that makes sense
sisters have a way with words for sure how's l a day dude it's good man it's 82 degrees here
i can't do that i can't i can't i can't do that on on on on because we were just out there we were out there
at the same time actually we were like crossing over by like a day or two of course we didn't see each other
because it takes 60,000 hours to get anywhere uh you know so there's no convenience in LA but I was like
I just this just isn't like four days before Halloween this is weird yeah it's just summer all the time
I'm not gonna lie don't like it either but whatever I mean you like it but you know you like it
you like it but you don't right yeah I like just give me a little bit of fall man
Yeah. They got the foliage kind of, you know, like the leaves are looking good and the trees are looking good, you know? But at the same time, it's not, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing.
I know. They go hard for Halloween here, though. Like, they go all out with the costumes and, bro, I got to tell you something super crazy.
Can't give you much detail. But, bro, I went to Disneyland for my birthday.
and it was all Halloween theme.
Why can't I give me much detail?
Is it like a partnership or is it?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like I just went with a group of friends.
Dude, it was crazy, man.
Like, dude, like there's Star Wars Land and that shit.
I was in a Star Wars bar for like two hours.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
What drinks did you go?
A robot DJ?
Oh, I got the, uh, fuck.
I can't remember what it was called, but I had like 14 of them, and it cost like $500.
I was like, that's fine.
Money doesn't exist at Disneyland.
No one cared, but I almost bought a lightsaber.
It was a yellow one.
I was like, oh my God, dude.
I went on a Star Wars ride.
Which one?
I can't remember the day, but like you get in and you're in a ship, and there's like two pilots.
There's two like gunners and there's two like engineers.
You did the Millennium Falcon ride.
Yeah, I think it was.
I think it was.
It went hard.
I liked it a lot.
Top 10 day of my life right there.
Dude, it was, it was crazy.
For the birthday too, so everything was going right.
I had birthday luck.
I had, I had birthday like people, I don't know, dude,
everything was just working out.
You know how it is on your birthday.
And we were there, bro.
Oh my God.
God.
It was good.
You didn't get any like weird birthday sadness?
I got weird birthday sadness all the time.
I never, that doesn't happen to me on my birthday for some reason.
Like, for some reason, my birthday is always the best day.
Like, I'm in the best mood, like, just everything's working out.
I don't usually get birthday sad.
But I did, I mean, this is so us, but like, I realized, I don't know why it took me this long,
but I realized this year that the day before your birthday
is a hundred times better than your birthday.
It's like Christmas Eve type shit.
Oh, yeah.
100% once it's the same thing.
I would say that, uh,
I would say that Halloween and not really Halloween is the only day
that I think like when you're on the day,
you're like, yep, this is it, this is the best.
And when it's over, you're like,
okay, it's not that bad because you have, all right, now we're fooling the holiday season.
Right?
Like, Thanksgiving?
I think you can make the argument the day before and the night before Thanksgiving is more fun and is better than Thanksgiving itself.
What about Super Bowl?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Super Bowl.
Yeah, Super Bowl is like, it's like Christmas where, you know, once it's the third quarter,
that's when it's like three or four o'clock on Christmas.
Because you're like, it's over.
Even if it's like a really good game and it's coming down to the wire, still like it's over.
It's in the back of your head the whole time.
Yeah.
Because it's like when it's still bright out and it's Super Bowl Sundays when it's like peak like, yo.
But once it starts getting dark, it's like, bro, I don't want that pregame or that post game concert.
I can't stomach it.
the post game when all the
confetti is on the field
and you know
the different celebrities and play
like the players are already like drunk and they're
coming up to the post game interviews
and you're like
well I guess I'll just be depressed
for the next two months
so bad man
I really think the Halloween's the only one
birthday
I mean this is the first year
I don't know it was just because like I have a kid now
I turned 30 and he's eating a wallet right now and shit.
But eating up all your money.
That's what you're good for now.
Oh, son?
But this was like the first year in a long time where I was just like really content.
I was like, I had a great day.
It feels good.
I'm happy where I am in my life.
Like I feel like I was not when it was like 9 o'clock and I was laying down in bed to cap off my birthday.
I was just like, yep, what a day.
But that was the first time in a long time.
I always usually had that.
but I really think that
everything else to lead up is better than
the actual day. Wednesday night,
Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
I mean, come on.
Could you be happier?
It's amazing.
Is there another one?
Oh, definitely New Year's Eve.
I don't even want to do New Year's Eve
or New Year's Day.
I'm just like, I can skip over that whole thing.
No one does.
And this truck be any louder?
Hold on.
I can't even hear it, bro.
It depends on me all.
Okay.
This is what happens.
This is what happens when, you know, people are on the road and we got to do our stuff and we have to give the clubhouse an episode, but we got to record via Zoom.
You just got to figure it out.
It's always better.
It's always better just to do it, you know?
Just think if we wouldn't.
Especially Halloween.
I mean, come on.
We're holiday whores.
The clubhouse needs us for this.
Got to do it.
But I really think New Year's and the whole entire idea of it
is just to get you through like December 27th to the 29th
because those three days, all you're doing is trying to text people
to be like, are we doing anything?
Is there anything going on?
You're just like trying to figure out New Year's plans
and that gets you through the worst week of the year.
And then it happens and you're like, okay, now I can finally start my new year
and kind of be on with it.
Love that week because no one has any idea what's going on and it's perfect.
Just think about it
If you didn't have those annoying
But like necessary New Year's plans
All you'd be thinking about is how
Depressed you are that Christmas is over
And it gets dark at like 4.30 p.m. every day
You got the New Year's plans to talk about
Maybe kind of plan
I think we could do this
That could be fun
I don't really know
It gets you through
It gets you through
It's true
It's just a mirage
But it works
Dude
I got a Molinard minute
Kind of I think
I was just gonna ask
man
I don't know
who's in control of this
I don't know what the situation is
and who I need to talk to
or how we try to streamline this and make it better
but my God
can we stop with the process
that is getting on an airplane
sitting there for 45 minutes
until you finally roll off
of the tarmac
getting ready to go to get in the air.
I can't do this.
You got to get there three hours before.
You got to do all your shit to get there and get their TSA and check your bags or whatever.
And then you have to get to your gate, be ready to go, be ready to board.
And then you board.
And that takes 35, 40 minutes in itself.
And then this shit, this happened on like every flight this past week that we were on.
All of a sudden, you're just like sitting there.
You're sitting there for like 45 minutes.
And the pilot comes on as like, I don't know, just.
want to update everybody.
Well, it looks like we're going to be just about 15, 20 minutes left here.
We got a little bit of a backup on the runway.
So if we could just give about 15, 20 minutes, we shouldn't be up in the sky.
I'm like, dude, don't make us get on the goddamn airplane.
If we have to sit here for 50 minutes in our seats, mind you, we have a one-year-old.
So 50 minutes seems like three hours when you're just sitting there on an airplane.
I don't know who we got to talk to.
I don't know what the process is, what air traffic control or what,
but something needs to happen here.
We got to streamline this.
We got to process this better because this whole thing where you have two flights
in a day and it takes up 13 hours, I can't do it, man.
Can't do it.
I realized I can't do anything on a plane either.
Like I used to be able to like write kind of, not really, and like edit things and like
do shit.
I can't do it.
I can't get anything done on a plane.
So when I have a flight to streamline it,
I make the flight as early as possible.
I stay up the entire night before.
I'm the last one to board the plane.
Like when they say, like I wait for him to say my name on the speaker.
They're like, Benedict Politsy, are you here?
If you're not here, we're shutting the doors.
And I'm like, all right, now it's my time to board.
Thanks for the fucking convenience.
I get on the plane.
and dude, I fall asleep
immediately on the plane.
So when you're near the announcement,
I don't know, like,
I don't know how much times left
before we take off, I'm gone.
That's the only solution for me.
It's just fucking be so tired
that you just sleep through all the bullshit.
That is a great solution.
Unfortunately, we can't really do that
when we fly as a family
because, you know,
Frank and as soon as we get in the air
Frank's all good because it's like a giant like sound machine
you know and it's like he can feel emotion
and the plane's kind of like a white noise machine
he zonked down immediately but it's the whole
it's the sitting there on the runway for 50 minutes
and just having the pilot I mean there's no update
besides the pilot just
it looks like it's gonna be about another 15 minutes
sorry folks apologize for the delay
but should be up in the air on the way to
Indianapolis in about 15 minutes.
Like every time I hear that come on, man,
I just, I start fuming.
I become Molnard on the plane.
And like, no.
Well, I keep it within.
I keep it within.
I might let out of it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
And then Riley's like, stop.
And I'm like, okay, I'm just,
this is ridiculous.
This is ridiculous, you know.
So that's, that was the minute for this week.
I just, it had been building up because we had like six
flights last week, you know, because of connectors
and shit. And I swear to God it
happened on at least four of them.
Are you booking your flights or is somebody else?
This sounds so cunty of us
talking about it.
So are you in charge of
you're booking your flights to your
destinations for
or is that your agency?
So your agency or your manager?
Yeah, no. Yes, we are
in charge. Riley is in charge. She's
my wife has been taking care of
of all of that.
No more connectors, babe.
No more.
Are there street flights?
I don't think they exist.
No, you might have to pay a little bit more, but I think it's worth it.
So it doesn't take your whole day.
Because I used to be like, fuck it, let's do it cheap.
I don't care if I have a layover in Charlotte for four hours.
Let's fucking chill.
But now I'm like, dude, that takes literally a day to get somewhere.
Yeah.
I mean, that was my Sunday.
and then on top of it, Ben,
the Steelers kicked off at 1.
My flight boarded and was like we had to get on.
It was taking off at 1.15 p.m.
And so I'm trying to watch it as we're boarding on YouTube TV on my phone
while I'm trying to load up a stroller like help Riley with Frank, hold Frank, do all this stuff.
Right.
You know, Deontay Johnson drops the first fucking pass of the game wide open right over.
the middle. So I'm in an airport. I got all this ship sweating already because you're always
sweating in an airport. I got to keep all this in. And then when we get on the flight, I can't
access the Wi-Fi or live TV. So I can't even watch it. I have no idea what's going on.
And we're sitting there and we're on the runway for 50 minutes while I can't turn it off
airplane mode. God. Airplane mode. Who's doing that? But yeah, it's always, it's always a gamble for the
like plain Wi-Fi.
How come it,
how come,
like 50% of the time
it won't let you do it?
Like,
I'll pay $200 for it.
I'm like,
I don't care.
Just let me fucking
do normal things on my phone.
And there I get,
not this time,
sorry.
That's another thing.
Why?
How would we not figure that?
Us just complaining for 40 minutes.
Just one big Moldard minute
about airports and flights.
I mean,
who's not related to this,
you know?
I did think of an idea
while I was fuming
and sitting there about how I couldn't watch the Steelers.
NF Airlines.
Just for NFL fans, so everybody?
Stay with me because, listen, I'm in the airport on Sunday.
Everywhere you look, I'm in the airport, LAX.
Everywhere you look, you got people in jets, skiers, Steelers gear, 49ers, Cowboys.
There's NFL fans everywhere.
Of course, sometimes life gets in the way,
and you have to have a flight on Sunday when your team's playing.
NFL aren't NFL aren't
NF Airlines
takes care of it
it's a premium
it's a premium flight
it's a premium airline
where you get on there
they have the game playing
they have the choice
that's all it is it's just like
you have the package of games
on the back of the TV screen
that's on the back of the head
and you could watch whatever game you want
or you have specific ones
to where you say hey
I'm actually going to this game
I want to fly on the Steelers
NF Airlines to the Steelers game
out to a lot to
Las Vegas. So that it's just you
and a bunch of other people with terrible towels
who are all going out there and you're
you know,
I don't know.
Just,
but the pilots,
the pilots are always a Jets player.
Wayne Krubet.
Curtis Martin. He's like,
thanks for flying with us today.
Hey.
Instead of
instead of,
instead of,
you know,
wearing like the pilots headset,
they wear like the coaches
Bose one on the other
that they were on the sidelines.
Oh yeah.
Hey,
clipboard?
Clipboard?
Hey, the,
the,
the,
uh,
the,
the,
uh,
the,
the,
uh,
the,
the,
uh,
the,
uh,
just,
in hooties
and,
like,
cut off,
cut off teas.
Or,
you want to drink
the spray gator in your mouth?
Or,
or,
or,
the,
they could be like dressed as
refs, you know, like because they're kind of
setting the rules. I would kind of turn
people off maybe, but it stays in
theme. They have to have a
uniform, right?
So they're setting the rules and they got the
official uniform on.
You know, they got the, they're the zebras on the airline.
Right. Doing all the demonstrations with their hands
and shit.
Hey, come on.
Come on.
We got to trademark this before
Gidell and the shield
is going to come down and swoop this right off
of us and the clubhouse is going to be like you guys were
talking about that.
NF Airlines is crazy
Indiana.
Dude, how tight would it be
to roll up in a fucking black
737 and Steelers colors?
Oh, logo on the
back? Oh, stop it.
Logo only on one side,
only on the right side.
I'm not going to lie.
I don't want to burst your bubble,
but that bengal's plane would go hard with the stripes.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
It's not bursting my bubble.
I totally agree.
I totally agree.
The Steelers have the Steelers one has on the wings.
It has a two yellow striped on the shoulder pads
and the shit that they rock and like branding.
And they have the yellow stripes going on the wings.
And maybe there's like a Steelers legend that like
is the co-pilot or something every single time.
It's like, oh, like God, Colonel Stewart's on our flight.
They're the one that does all the, like, funny, little kitschy announcements and everything.
You know how you get those flight attendants that come on?
They're like, well, recently I had one guy that was just like,
so sit back, kick your shoes off, relax, and enjoy your flight to Los Angeles.
Then it came on like eight seconds later.
It was like, actually, check that.
Keep those shoes on.
Isn't it funny how those guys crush?
It can be like the lamest flight attendant joke
And you're like
This guy's amazing
Oh yeah
Maybe that's just us though
As being like
Fellow performers
Like we feel like we have to kind of like
Okay
You know give a little chuckle
Because we know what they're going through
All those other people
Don't give a shit
headphones in
Up in 19D
Man I'm selling my dad
already.
My dad is the king of
coming up with ideas
that at the time you think
is never going to work or definitely won't
ever work. But then
all of a sudden, like 15 years later,
he'd be like, I've been saying for years
a TV channel that gives you
access to every single game.
Remember we talked about like he thinks he came
up with Red Zone?
Dude, dads think they invent
everything. Even if they
don't, they're like, I thought of that seven years.
years ago. I'm like, dude, you're a fucking maniac.
My grandma and grandpa on my dad's side
legitimately believe and will take to their grave
that my grandfather came up with the idea
for grocery delivery service.
But they probably kind of did.
But who didn't, you know?
Right, right. It's like who has something about it?
Right. Who hasn't been sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table
and being like, you know, it would be an awesome idea.
If instead of somebody having to go make a beer run,
somebody could just bring the beer to us.
Yeah.
Like, oh shit.
Everybody said shit like that.
You know, all right, go, go out,
create the business model, get the patent or whatever the hell.
This is what we put in the comments for this podcast.
What's the thing your dad invented?
Amazing.
Yes.
So one of the things to my dad is,
he swears and he'll bring up all the time how back in like 2006 he thought of the original idea for NFL Red Zone.
Man, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
Him and fucking 18 million other dads, but it was a good one.
Hey, my dad, this is my dad's.
All right.
My dad, he's like, it's Uber, but it's for cutting grass.
so somebody just pulls up to your house
and cuts your grass and you like find him on an app
he goes and the app is called Mo M-O
so just lawn
service companies
yeah pretty much and you just you just like
dude or it could be just some jack off in your neighborhood
that wants like a hundred bucks you know
and they just come they just pull up and cut your shit
and you rate them it's actually not
Not idea.
No, but what I'm saying is that like, that's just like, what he came up with is just
Google and just saying like lawn mowing companies in my area.
Right.
All he came up with was a phone book.
That's not even a thing anymore.
You invented the phone book.
Way to go, Joe Po.
Real good stuff there, guy.
Yeah, okay.
I like that.
That's a really good one.
So on YouTube, these guys on YouTube or email us.
We have a lot of emails we got to catch up on actually
because we had some from last week that we didn't get to
and then we had more for this week.
Team these guys at gmail.com
or, yeah, rate us and review us
and then leave in the review what your dad invented
but didn't really invent.
Cool.
I can't wait for that.
You want to go to a good one?
Yeah, dude.
We got, we had like five left over from last week
and I think we got like four or five more this week.
So let's hop in.
Team these guys at gmail.com
Dot com
From Eric
From Eric
All time worst jersey
My guys, big fan
You make it seem like you're every dude's best friend
Nice
You two frequently talk about jerseys
That go hard but what about jerseys that suck
Could be because of colors, players from bad trades
Players ending their career with a random team
Players that didn't pan out
for me I think the Jerry Rice Seahawks jersey has got to be in the top 10
worst jersey list slap my ass and split me between the uprights Eric
so players with jerseys that are kind of ugly is what he's saying
yeah but I think it could just be like
aesthetic you know it could be like to the eye the jersey just sucks
or it could be yeah like um a Patrick
or uh hema loggisron blazers jersey
you know like something like that
and it makes me sad a little bit
yeah yeah
I got one I got one
it's pretty it's pretty like
new it's more recent
but Julio Jones
Titans kind of made me sad
ugh yeah I know
I know it's just like why'd you have to
God they you could go on with them
they have an entire laundry list
it's like this is where receivers just go to die
Randy Moss
actually too. Randy Moss, Julio Jones,
DeAndre Hopkins is there right now. Weird, just like
kind of hanging on. I was like, he's on their team.
Randomly caught a touchdown last week.
Three. Yeah. Saw the highlights. Guy who watched highlights
for once.
He's in the no. I don't know why I saw it. It's because their uniforms
went off. So I was like, what happened in this game? And now I know
everything about the Titans.
How funny would that be if
you have to go to L.A. to
become sports guy. Like it's
the reverse osmosis. Yeah.
I go to L.A. and I'm like, I love
football.
Dude, that would actually, that makes
more sense than anything.
Playing in fantasy leagues and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, those
Seahawks, like the early 2000
Seahawks, Jersey's were not good.
Like Edron James, Seahawks,
Was he?
I'm pretty sure.
Or was he Cardinals?
He was Cardinals, but I think he had a weird end-of-career stint with the Seahawks.
Ew, bro.
That's a gross one, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Check it out.
When they went with that weird, like, lime green.
Ew.
So, 2005.
Emmett Smith Cardinals.
I'm good.
Ladanian Talenson,
Jets.
Don't want to see him anything other than the powder blue bolts, man.
Yeah.
With that,
yeah,
with the normal face mask,
not the like weird bulldog face mask.
Yeah.
I'm going to go two for two with Seahawks,
old Seahawks running backs.
Franco Harris,
rest in peace.
He spent the last year of his career,
barely with the Seahawks,
way back in the day.
Weird.
It's a bad year.
Hey,
uh,
Andre Johnson Colts
Oh
Number 81 too
Just stop playing
So bad
You're not 81
Get out of here man
You're 80 straight up
All right let's move on from Dustin
Trousers
That's the subject
Trousers
Hey gents
Hope you had a good week in watching football
and consuming high quantities of
PP and BCD for lunch and dinner.
This guy knows us.
Love the special appearances
from both dads, last pod.
Question for both of you.
If you could pick three current or former athletes
to be your bodyguards to travel with you,
who would they be?
Not so much for who you'd enjoy being around
and bullshitting with,
but more so you'd feel the most safe with.
Excluding Shaq, because he's a consensus number one.
Email ran at 237 a.m.
just in case Ben asks,
slap my ass and watch my blow out my knee
like Martine Gramatica
celebrating a field goal.
Bro,
Martin Gramatica was so dramatic
even when he like tore his ACL.
He was still like dramatic about it.
Right.
It was like a soccer background in it.
He was rolling around like he just flopped
for a yellow card.
Hey, Martin Dramatica.
God, this guy.
Cheese.
Geez.
Come on.
Easy.
I could do it.
Okay.
Yeah, one is James Harrison.
Oh.
I mean, I don't even think you need two others with that guy.
Jesus Christ, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was trying.
I was going to say three easy Steelers,
but like some of those guys who are on those teams,
now they're either old or kind of decrepit.
or a little heavy or randomly lost a bunch of weight.
Like Casey Hanthane is like skinny now.
Super weird.
But James Harrison is still huge.
Are we doing peak?
Are we doing peak?
Like their peak years or like now?
Current or former athletes?
Okay.
Yeah.
So I guess just when they are playing.
Yeah.
All right.
So I'm going to start with one.
It's James Harrison.
You got one?
Um,
I guess I'm going to go with,
I don't know about now
but like
when he was at
like on his shit
we're on our test
because I feel like
he would just like do something insane
he would like
torture you
that's what I'm into
that's a good one
that's a really good one
hey I'll bounce off
that Ben Wallace
yeah
okay let's just keep going
then Dennis Rodman
I feel like he'll do
anything for the squat.
Rashid Wallace.
Oh, yes.
And then you've got to have like
Richie incognito or something.
Oh my God.
Or just like a nasty left tackle.
It was just gross.
Hey, Jeremy Shockey.
Yeah.
come fuck with me.
Yeah, I think we'd be all right.
I think it would be okay.
From...
Streakily referring to him is just that.
From Alec.
Random 90s classroom thought.
Subfellas was going through some 90s nostalgia
the other day after listening to the Rann on Blockbuster
and a memory hit me.
Remember how hot it was sitting in class
next to the old school projectors?
Those things produced so much heat and dust
that it felt like learning math and hell.
Anyways, flick my right stick,
make me fumble and smack my ass
truck stick
it looks like Jerry Rice out there
He looks like Jerry Rice out there
It's a fombo
All right
Those yeah dude god
Talk about just like stone ages for kids now
Those projectors
Yeah the one with the clear sheet
Over the top
And then the hand
the dry-arish sharpie.
Every teacher just licking this shit out of their fingers
and just smudging that off.
I was like, I can't.
Nah.
Gotta be a better way, bro.
There's got to be a better way.
Just a little windex, you know?
Little paper towel.
Nothing made sense to me on that.
Like you put that equation on a whiteboard.
I'm like, all right, I kind of get that.
You put it on a projector.
I'm like, I have no idea what the fuck you just said.
It was just like, it's all like the presentation for me.
I'm just like, God damn, what, what?
How did she get that?
Like, this whole thing is just like 1956.
And I just don't want any part of it.
Yeah.
Don't be part of it.
Big fucking light box.
It's got to reflect it.
And you're up there licking your fingers and shit.
I'm like, come on.
Bro, did you ever have to like get called up to the front
and have to do an answer or an equation on one?
of those things. That's a bad
bad day for me dude. I was always
like, I think they knew
that probably shouldn't pick him.
Like you got your four studs that can figure it out
and then the rest are just kind of
just cheating and I wasn't one of the four, bro.
I was not one of the four. That's
scarier on the projector for some reason than the board.
Oh yeah. Because you got the spotlight.
Literally. You start sweating on.
there. Yeah, you start sweating up there. Like you said, because of the heat coming off that thing,
lights are off, everybody's looking at you. At least if you're up on the whiteboard,
your back is to everybody. Yeah, and you're kind of like, you can make the facial, yeah,
you can make the facial expression of just like, I got no clue. And everybody's just kind of like,
all right, whatever. But you're up there and you're facing everybody. They're reading you like a book.
The lights on your, it's like you're telling a math ghost story, bro. And you're going to get it wrong
Very fitting and it's terrifying.
Yeah, dude. Haunted Y equals MX plus B, not my favorite thing.
From Kevin, random NBA jerseys.
What's up, boys?
I have an ongoing collection of the most random, irrelevant, forgettable NBA jerseys that I have,
either received as gifts or purchased myself, including, but not limited to,
Landry Shemette Clippers, Kent Bazamor Hawks, and Tyreek Evans Kings.
My birthday is coming up soon.
and I wanted to know if you all had any suggestions for a good one
I could add to my collection
or if you remember time seeing any random ones out and about.
Thanks so much.
Love the show.
Bigger McFarland is my dad.
Oh, God.
You can hear that.
Guess we're brothers.
God, dude.
You could go, I mean.
Are they supposed to be like random, uh, players?
I see.
I mean, just what?
Whatever you think on a player on a random team a forgettable team that they were on a random player
This kind of makes me sad a little bit too
Damn um yeah I'd like I'd like if you could what was this name
Kevin kev if you could bro get a Ricky Davis Charlotte's Charlotte Hornets but
when they played in New Orleans
How do you go to self?
So it's like all Charlotte's shit, but it says New Orleans is crazy to me.
That is wild.
Enrique Davis for some reason was just like he was a problem.
He might be a good security guard too, but he was like, didn't care and was one of the most athletic guys I've ever seen my life.
That year when Katrina hit and the New Orleans Hornets had to play an OKC.
What?
Oh yeah, yeah, and it's just at Oklahoma City.
That might be what I'm thinking about.
David West, Oklahoma City, Hornets, Jersey.
Crazy.
What is it happening?
Yeah, I think any of those play.
I mean, you could go, right, you could go from like pretty much any pacer besides
Danny Granger and he kind of even plays now from like 2006 to like 2012 and that would fall
into that list, you know?
Yeah.
Leandro Barbosa
Uh-huh
Or like a mo like
One of those Cavs players
That wasn't LeBron
Like a Moe Williams
But you get them in the old Cavs jersey
That's like black and light blue and orange
Zedrunas
Ilgousis
There we go
That's it dude
Just a weird Cavs player
From Luke
Halloween playlist
We were talking about this last week
Hey, Joey and Ben, I love the podcast and listen to you guys.
You are funny and relatable.
I lost it when listening to last week's episode when you guys started talking about how Halloween
playlist only have the monster mash and thriller.
I was in the dentist office a week before and was in a room that was playing Halloween
music for 10 minutes and those were literally the only two songs I heard.
Also, I thought Joey would appreciate my first jersey, 97 Cam Hayward jersey.
Love you guys.
Here we go, Steelers, and then slap my ass with a chicken cassidia from Taco Bell.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Eating it immediately after.
God, I had more, dude,
travel.
I do love that jersey too, Luke.
That's awesome.
Hopefully Cam comes back healthy soon.
But I had, dude,
I had Taco Bell like three times
over the last week when I was traveling.
It was just like every meal,
I was just like I could go for some Taco Bell
and it's just chicken cassidia.
Every time.
Yeah, I like that with Starbucks right now.
I can't stop eating Starbucks food.
Oh.
It's like not...
Yeah, it's like 3D printed food, but I'm like...
It's like I told Riley about the cassidia.
I was like, I think now that I've gone back on this Taco Bell cake,
it's because like, you know, if you go and you just eat some grub from like McDonald's
or from, you know, pretty much anyway, it's just like, God, that's a lot.
And it kind of sits on you.
But me, I'm like, if I get a chicken cassidia or two from Taco Bell, I'm like,
it does a job, it fills me up, but I don't feel like a total piece of shit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's the hack right there.
Go to Taco Bell and whatever you want, get it.
But sub beef for chicken.
Yes, absolutely.
CrunchRef Supreme sub chicken?
I mean, who's not?
Who's not?
No.
Didn't even think about that.
From Lou, players I think about sometimes.
Man, what a list here.
Sam Con Gato.
Bucky Hodges.
Captain Munnerlin.
Also, slap my ass so hard.
it makes me burpy boy oh um
Captain Munnerland
that was what I
why did I always think about that name
wait wait who do you play for
and he was a DB
yeah Captain Munnerland is on the Vikings for a long
time
oh yeah okay
Sam Khan Godot another Packers running back
God damn that's a great name
how do you spell that last name
that's one of the names I'd be like wait what is
what's his actually is his name Sam Khan
or is it Sam
Kam-G-G-O
You know what I mean?
Like if I heard it, I'd be like, his name's Sam-Con
His last name's G-O
No, it is.
It is?
Yeah, his first name is Sam-Con
S-A-M-K-O-N
and his last name is G-A-D-O.
The way I saw it was his first name is Sam
and his last name is Cong-G-O-O.
it's the Amani tumor effect
uh-huh uh-huh no yep
I got you yeah Captain Munnerland man I guess it makes sense
with the name like Captain Munnerlin
um
dude needs to like
operate a fucking shit or something man
he's born to be a pirate
he's born to be a captain dude
I feel like I don't know why
I just like every time I see why that name often
and every time I think about it it's just like
Sunday night football they're playing the Packers
and like he just gave up like a 35-yard catch.
Damn it.
Yeah.
It's not like that crazy of a name,
but I think of Charles Tillman a lot.
Peanut.
Yeah, like, wasn't he like, he was like strip,
one season he had like 13 strips.
Like he was just stripping everybody.
Is a peanut punch, man.
Oh, that's, yeah.
I think about peanut tilman.
every day. Yeah, I could say that.
Probably more than once.
He's in the FBI now.
Do you hear me?
Yeah. FBI.
All right.
Just watching the shit out of
Burr?
From Ian, Mel Kuiper
Homework Assignment.
Hey, boys. We've been listening since day one and loved all
the content. Always look forward to Tuesdays.
Joey, you may or may not remember from your Pittsburgh
show. You asked two girls if they knew who
Kuyper was my girlfriend was not aware so you assigned me the homework to show her I did and she
understands the skit now plus she was very impressed with the other impressions anyways question for you and
ben what's your guys's favorite holiday day and holiday season for example my favorite
holiday day is Thanksgiving but favorite holiday season is Christmas all the good is out
in front of you during the season and truly there's no more depressing time in 630 Christmas Day
yes absolutely go stealers smack my ass with a ping pong paddle throw me down heat flights of
stairs, then spoon feed me with Reese's pumpkins.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, so there's a part, there's a part
of my show where I start to kind of introduce
like Kiper, and I always like to like
test out, typically
the females in the audience to see who
knows who the hell he is.
And so, yes, I do, Ian, I do remember this very well.
Pittsburgh show sold out, dude. It was great,
by the way. It was a fucking awesome.
It was a dream. It was so cool.
but
yes I do remember that
and then okay so the day and the season
I feel like I kind of
I will know your answer on this
and I feel like you probably will know mine
I think man
okay well the season is
ball
and the day
if we're really fucking
doing it our way
is Christmas Eve
I don't know if that's a holiday though
is that a holiday
that? Yeah, I've discovered
over the last couple years, like that truly, I mean,
a lot of people get it off work, so do you have that?
And then a lot of people like celebrate Christmas Eve
as its own holiday almost now, as opposed to Christmas Day.
Yeah, dude, that's what that's my, I think that's my,
it's probably yours, maybe.
Yeah, more I think about it, like honestly,
my favorite season, honestly, might be,
might have become and gotten surpassed to be Halloween season.
And like when it's like September 30th until Halloween, I love all the decorations, the candy, the feel outside, the smell of high school football in the air, the crispness, the fucking movies, like love all that shit.
I think a lot because then to his point, to Ian's point, then once Halloween's done tonight as we record, then all of a sudden tomorrow I'm like, shit, Thanksgiving's coming up.
Yeah, I got Christmas down the road.
I'm going to start seeing trees and shit now.
but I'm with you Christmas Eve
by far best day of the year
1 million percent
Signed sealed delivered
Always the pregame
To the party which is Christmas
And you know
Every time you're about to go to a party
The best part is always the pregame
So that's why we are the way we are
I think
Couldn't have said it better myself
All right a few more here
From Matthew
Fellas
While listening to the various discussions
On high school football
It made me think of a coach I had in high school
He was wild and always drank out of a metal water container
No one was allowed to go near.
Years later, we would find out it was gatoried and ever clear.
He used to yell interesting phrases like,
quote, it's hotter out here than a snake and molasses,
or you better block better or you're going to get polio.
What are some of the most interesting things
I've ever heard of football coach?
We've had this question, kind of.
Happy Halloween, it's time to act like football ghosts
and show some tame spirit.
Cheese.
Kiss me.
slap my ass and waterboard me with the sweat from Brett Lorenzo Farve's 1994
NFC Wildcard game Jersey
94
Yeah that's a wild move
But believable with the water slash gatorade and ever clear mix
There's always more than C like that
Yeah
You're like, is he high
I don't know if we ever got down like I don't think I ever caught any
the act or like really kind of figured out
some of mine back in the day were doing that.
I'm sure maybe a couple of them or one of them was
but I never found out. Did you?
Nah, I never wanted to, you know?
Like if I thought something fishy
was going on, I would just leave it at that.
I'd be like, I don't want to investigate it
because then I'll get fucking weird about it.
Right. Then all of a sudden you're involved
and that coach is going to be like, hey,
you don't fucking say a word.
You're like, hey, I'm like, God, man.
We just play something.
St. Pius, please.
Yeah, we talked about a few weeks ago, I think, some of the weird stuff that we said,
like the, you had a few weird ones from college.
Oh, the coach that was, like, literally one to, like, kill people and stuff in pregame.
Oh, yeah, dude.
I talked about that the other day, actually.
This is the best pregame speech ever.
He would go crazy.
Who's not ready to play now, right?
I know.
Dude, we couldn't film anything in the locker room because it was like, it was like that.
It was rated fucking R, dude.
It was an epitome of,
what's said in here, stays in here, boys.
Because we were saying, like, bad things.
Yeah.
It's all right.
And, well, hey, you know what?
I have respect for that coach.
We'll leave it in there still.
We'll keep it in there.
Let's do the last one here from Kenny.
Slot Me With a Chicken Casidia is the subject line.
Right across the mouth.
Let me say that I've actually binge all your episodes
in about a two-week span.
I've absolutely lost my shit in a good way.
I actually had to take my AirPods out while at work and go to the bathroom
and just laugh my ass off when you guys were talking about having Joe Montana's name.
I totally agree that it's a banger of a name.
There's no way I would be able to walk into class or work,
and I'd just scream, my name is fucking Joe Montana.
That's the whole heart.
One thing I wanted to see from you guys is if it made me an absolute psycho driving,
listening to the theme songs for NFL, NBA, or MLB.
For example, the NFL on Fox theme, NBA on NBC,
theme, rest and peace to that,
or honestly, my favorite,
the college basketball and ESPN theme from 2004-2011.
So the question is,
if you had to pick a song of that nature
for your funeral or wedding,
Joe, if you had a wedding redo,
which song would you pick?
Thanks for getting to be through the rough times
and slap my ass with a raw chicken cassidia from Taco Bell
until it's cooked and submit me off to Uranus.
Guy.
That's a great one.
That's a great one.
So the question is, what song would we pick?
What song from like an NFL or college football or Major League Baseball intro theme that you would have play at your funeral or your wedding?
All right, I've got to, for my wedding, this one, this one, I saw it a couple days on like an old TikTok.
Dude, the SEC on CBS theme song.
Dund do that's it.
Dund da,
Dada,
Dada Dada.
Oh,
that's it.
It actually,
I don't know why,
but SEC makes it feel like tropical.
It makes it feel like exotic.
It's like,
it feels like I'm watching a game that's been,
that's playing like in space or something on a different planet.
I'm like,
it's always Florida.
Like you're just like,
what the fuck is going on?
That's a good one.
That's,
that's cheerful.
like there's always like a good like set of announcers.
You're like let's fucking do this man.
They're playing as we feel.
And you're like, whatever.
Auburn always has the best delinement in the country.
You're just like, okay, fuck it.
Let's watch.
Best delinement in the country that sucks in the NFL.
Yeah.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
And like the whole game you're waiting for this guy to make a play,
he doesn't do shit.
But you're like, he's still going to overall.
Kuiper has him as number two and his big boy.
every year, dude, doesn't do a goddamn thing in the NFL.
Nick Fairley.
All right.
That's a really good one.
I think, and we've sent this back and forth to each other a couple times,
I think mine would have to be the college football slash college game day theme from like 2007 to 2011.
That had the drum line.
You were watching
Oh God
Just freaking
Absolutely take a case idea to my fucking face
That is
In the sweet voice of Chris Fowler
Just right in your brain
Your dad
Yeah
On my wedding day
That's kind of you know
Like that's kind of it's as it seems kind of like
Like it's like a formal kind of thing
You know what I mean?
Like with the flare and the shit going on and the drum line.
Like he kind of matches a wedding a little bit.
Give me that.
I miss that theme so much.
God, it's good.
Reese Davis is the priest marrying you guys.
Nobody I trust more in my whole life.
Anyone in my family?
No, Reese Davis.
I'm never missing 9 a.m. Mass if Reese Davis is the priest.
Every fucking time I will be there front row.
Reese Davis.
in the name of the father
the son
and the holy spirit
dude Kurt Kherbstreets
the like the choir boy
or no he's the altar
boy
no Kirk Kherb Street's the guy
who comes up and does all the readings
yeah
is Fowler
is he like the
happy
is Fowler like the
archdiocesian
like head guy
like he's
oh like the
he only
comes in for special occasions. He's like
the bishop.
Yeah, the bishop. Archbishop
Fowler. Yeah,
dude, he is. He is.
And then, dude, no, but Corso's
the guy above that.
Oh, dude, no, he's a
cardinal. Corso's like a cardinal. He goes
to Rome. Corso is
Vatican City.
Bruce. Hey, and you know who the Pope is?
Blue holes.
Oh.
And the new guy, the new guy like on the scene, like the hot new priest,
I think his name's Mark May, maybe, the black, dude.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's kind of at odds with the Pope.
He doesn't agree on what he's preaching down.
Yeah.
Everybody, like, he's pulling a crowd, dude.
That's funny, man.
College game day analysts as the Catholic Church.
This is our audience.
Yeah, football, yeah.
This is our audience right here.
It's amazing.
all right
good shit
thanks for hanging with us
on a Zoom recording here
um
Ben when is uh
when are you when are you coming back
are you coming back
uh I'll be back mid November
and then
and then the holidays and stuff like that
but yeah
split in time for now
but I dude I was scared that this Zoom
wasn't going to be that great because of just like
we're used to be with each other but I think this
was a good this is a good little pie
Yeah, we'll work on the tech side to get it flowing even better and sounding even better.
But, yeah, I mean, can't let the clubhouse down.
So cool.
Team These Guys at gmail.com, be sure to email us again.
You can email us.
You can leave a rating review, which we would love to get those numbers up and make people want to keep listening.
And the question of the week is, what did your dad invent or think that he invented?
Can't wait to see those.
Subscribe on YouTube.
These guys.
We appreciate you guys.
So everybody had a happy swoopy Halloween.
It'll drop afterwards anyways.
But yeah, so we're on to the holiday season, baby, holiday horrors.
Uh-oh.
This is where it gets sexy.
All right, fam.
All right.
Talk to you guys.
Bye.
These guys.
Bye.
