THESE GUYS! - Athletes Foot On Purpose

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

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Damn. It's always interesting. My dad always fucks up. But we always say, go five to one. And then he'll always start with like, all right, my top dog. I'm like, dude. Five to one. Sunday morning podcast recording.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Go on. TG 57. 56. I don't know why I'm always one week ahead. TG 56.

TG 56. I don't know why. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's up? You seem a little hungover. Really? Are you a little hung? It's because I am.

Yeah? No, it's not really that. I'm just tired. What'd you do last night? Did I just stayed out till like four? Why? But I wasn't out. I was just up.

Just at your place? Yeah. Like I was in the McDonald's drive-thru like five hours ago. What'd you get? All right. So we're in the drive-thru. Their menu goes black. And I'm like, fuck.

They're closed. And they're like, no, no, no, we're not closed. We're just switching to breakfast. And I'm like, I don't want breakfast. Dude, it was the worst. I was like, damn, maybe we should just leave. People hype up McDonald's breakfast so much. And their lunch is like, that's McDonald's.

McDonald's breakfast isn't McDonald's. I learned a Big Mac so bad. Oh, my God. I wanted a Big Mac so bad. And I just want to go to bed. Right. And then it was just. Because you get breakfast.

I got to start my day. Dude, I know. And I didn't know what to get. I was like, um, a mcreddle. I was like, I feel like I'm going to be like car sick if I eat a mcreddle though.

I had one of those yesterday. I was driving back from Knoxville. Oh, shit. McGriddle and hash brown. It's a little too much. It's a good invention though when you think about it. Yeah.

When I was in high school, you know, you're in high school and you literally, you just eat everything. and you can eat anything, everything, doesn't matter. I'd house like three of those. Me and Andy Ward. After football practice.

The amount of food you can eat in high school is almost, it's a little, it's a little not okay. Doesn't matter. No, everything. It's going down. Everything's going down. Having a contest and shit. Dude, you could eat a half of a Papa John's pizza

and then go out and practice football and be just kind of like, I don't feel great, but just survive. If I did that today, put a shotgun to my head. Dude, I'd be thrown up everywhere. But if I just ate a half of Papa John's pizza, I'd be throwing up everywhere. Oh, God, that sounds good. Literally had a contest at our senior football banquet.

Who could have the most pizza? During the banquet. That's all the same shit at those banquets. Those things would suck. Yeah. It takes so long. I have to say something about every player. Who cares?

My parents never went. The practice player that, you know, his face mask was like six inches above his head. He's the iron man. You know, this guy's the reason that we were the team that we were, even though we lost in the sectional semifinal. 42 to 6. If it wasn't for him day in and day out, coming here with his face mask too high and his hip pads up to his nipples,

God, people that don't know how to dress on football teams. I'm like, hey, just don't come. You just make me not want to play so fucking bad. The people that look like shit on football teams, I'm like, I'll quit for you. That kid always never knew how to do like the karaoke stretch. Always a little too weird with it.

The coach would have to stop us. It'd be like, Davidson. Get some rhythm, son. It's not that hard. Figure it out. Rhythm. You got to have a little bit. Yeah, you got a little bit. You got a little bit. You got to have a little bit. You got to swing the hips a little bit.

A little bit. And that kid is always the one. A little robotic. You're always looking at him. You're like, how are your hip pads not flying out right now? They're so hot. They're hanging on by a thread. They're just barely tucked in there. I'm like, right. The bottoms of them are the bottom corner and the rest of it's just. They're flapping in the way. Yeah. You're like, are you flying away right now? Davidson, are you about to be in the sky and then you're like dude i i i'm trying my heart is not to wear hip pads at all ever god damn wasn't that just a whole thing just trying to wear the like the least amount of pads although i did send you a picture over the weekend of that ohio state linebacker oh it was probably like from 1990 that's like the best picture ever the biggest shoulder pads is that going to come

back you know shit comes back right right what if they did that in Football. Big shoulder pads coming back. Everybody's wearing baggy pants again. And now in football, everybody wears, like linebackers and linemen were giant shoulder pads.

Like, I just want one linebacker to have that big ass full cage face mask again. Yeah, dude. Remember, like full backs would too? And sometimes running backs, DJ Duck it.

That's insane. Just going to the equipment room, like that one. I want to be a gladiator. That, you know how we talked about like the NFL's best era was like 98 to like 2002.

Peak. Peak NFL. Maybe 97, right? Who'd you think of during those years? Did. Four? There's only one. There's only one.

Number four. Clubhouse already knows. It's crazy. I think about Brett Farms every day. Peak college football was like 1988 to 1994. Like having having the jerseys

with the belly showing, having the huge shoulder pads, uh, those old school Nike cleats that you know weren't mold. You know, they weren't molded. They were like the actual spikes. Everybody was playing on grass.

Uh, the, like the very beginning of college game day, like Herb Street looks like he's like 22. He is, though. He probably is. He is.

In course, he's just out of his mind. Started working at ESPN when he was 12. I swear to God. First, Kirk Herb Street's actually an ESPN robot that they created in a factory. Is he AI? Is Herbstreet AI? I mean, you met him at the Derby.

He looks better every year. Yeah. I'm like, how does he look like this? Even my wife was like, yeah, she calls him Herbie too because, you know, we got that kind of relationship. Oh, your boys. If you're calling him Herbie. And she was just like, wow. No, she calls him Kirk because Herbie's like between the boys, but she'll call him.

Kirk. Wow. So she's like, oh, Kirk's like, that's even more. Yeah. Kirk looks like he lost some weight.

Yeah. Yeah, I think he is a little slimmer. Looking good in the face. Yeah. A little slimmer. Well, because Fowler,

the play-by-play guy, yeah. This dude's an animal in the gym. I don't know if you follow him on Instagram or not. I don't, but like he looks great.

Dude. I want him to be my dad. This guy goes hard. He should be your dad. God damn, I know. If we were casting a movie, Fowler would be your dad.

Really? Okay. That's what I was thinking to. And Herbie might be my dad. Or at least my older brother. Those guys are our dads. You know what's so funny too is these networks? Like they all, it's like they see one that works.

And then the other competing networks think, okay, we got to find our version of that. Yeah, same guy. Like Fox, Joel Clatt, blonde, fit, good looking dude. Got a little personality. Yeah. You know, Fox is like, like. Okay, ESPN has Herb Street. He's blonde.

He's played quarterback at college. You know, he's really good on TV. Well-spoken. All right, we got to find that. And Joel Clad, there you go. Joel clad. There's one guy for Fox maybe that is a douche. And I'm like, I can't get, I don't like this guy.

Is he on a pregame show or is he a broad like an announcer? He's pregame show. He's at the table. I can't think of who it is. No. Urban Meyer? No. Quinn? No, it's not a household name.

Damn. I'll send him to it, but it's like... But then think about it too. ESPN, Adam Schaefter, NFL Network, Ian Rappaport. Same guys. Same guys. Those are the same, I can't, I can't. They even talk the same. Same exact person. It's like literally NFL Network is okay.

Pretty short, really short guy, dark hair. Tweets fast. Tweet's fast and Booth, Chucks. Can't have like this rich? Do you do a chef? Do you do a chef? Calli Endo does Schifter So I don't step on that

Yeah But I've I've messed around with a rapaport before Because it's essentially the same thing Sick last name Yeah Rap sheet His Twitter name

Yeah I'm like who made that Like you didn't do that You didn't do that Rapaport I was hanging up And he's a reporter Right What?

I was hanging out with him. Sal Pal Antonio. Where's NFL network's version of that? They don't have a Sal Pal. Is he still? Sal Pal still rock with ESPN. Oh yeah. Damn, dude.

He went through all the cuts. Mm-hmm. He made all Sal Pal Antonio. Yeah, I think he, I think like him, Chris Berman, obviously, Scott Van Pelt, Kirk Curb Street. Like, those are like the big four that are just kind of like grandfathered in. Like they're not going anywhere. SVP.

Forever contract. lifeer. Boomer, they're like, hey, dude, sit here and do the fastest two minutes and talk about the NFL on Sundays literally until you're in the ground. Dude, the way I used to watch NFL prime time. Why is it not, like, why did it go off the air? Like, that's the one thing I want to know when I die. It's so annoying.

Here you get something on this mic. Okay. Thanks. Little hair. Probably a nose hair. Whoops. Primetime though. Yeah.

Now they put it on like ESPN. Plus. Come on, man. I know you're trying to incentivize us to get it. Come on. That's not the one that we're paying for. That's just that. Dude,

you know what. Wholesome ass show. I know we love the NFL prime time music. Mm-hmm. I know. I'm taking a little book from your little play from your playbook. It helps the posture. It does.

Here, I'll just go over a little bit. Everybody wondering how I'm sitting like this. Really? I feel like I've seen like seven comments Like why I can't believe He can't sit like that And make fun of Travis Kelsey

Like come on there It's every day That did really well on Instagram though I was going to like looking back through Like it didn't really Yeah I did that the other day too People are still watching that Kyle Long

Was like that guy I was like we made That we were literally talking about you too He has the best comments Yeah He's awesome Fuck. Yeah.

Every comment Kyle Long has on any post has 389 likes. Talk about a family that you'd want to be a part of. Howie Long, Chris Long, Kyle Long. Maybe that's the question of the week. Or the... What family do you want to be a part of? No, the clubhouse. Who do you really want to be your dad?

You know? Who do you really want to be your dad? Chris Fowler for me. He's very up there. I like that. Yeah, Clubhouse. So YouTube comments. comments these guys on YouTube or leave a review and rate us and then say who you really want to be your dad.

Who should your dad actually be? So you're Chris Fowler. I'm Kirk Herb Street. Oh, that makes way too much sense. Dude, you know how many people I've gotten who have tweeted at me or like comment on Instagram or something? We do videos together that they'll be like you, Johnson, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Wedding Crashers 2. I've seen that. I'm so down

The wedding crashers too Us four go to Vegas for our bachelor parties My worst nightmare But it's not actually you It's the character I can't do it Even if it's a movie role I can't do it

Yeah Netflix wants to make a movie You've been just like I'm out on that one I'm gonna have to Fucking idiot Yeah I hate you Thanks but no thanks

Oh shit I hate you But that NFL prime time song, the one, like the, everybody knows the, the, dun dun dun,

dun, or like, bam, bam, bam, the funniest thing, dude, you said you're just listening to that

in your car. Fuck yeah. Did I listen to that before show sometime to get me hyped? With the Ravens helmet and the Steelers helmet on YouTube? Yeah. But the one that gets me

that is really nostalgic for me is like the, No, it's the one that goes to commercial. It's like their bumper music going to commercial. We might just have to pull it up and play it real quick. I can't. Oh, no, is it? Banabadan, da, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun da.

Wait, here comes. Dun dun dun. Oh, then it gets soft, it gets soft. Like, like, you know, John Madden, fucking foot fungus commercial would come on or something. I love that shit. Tough actor,

turn acting. Boom. That's... How bad did I want tough acting? How bad did I want athletes foot? Every time I saw that commercial, I was like, damn, I want athletes foot.

But actually, how many, like... Was it, like, a big problem? I feel like no one has athletes foot anymore. Right. That's like back in the prime of the NFL. It was like only, I feel like when you're wearing the Nike spikes that actually had the screw on spikes and you were playing on all grass, that was prime athlete's foot. Athletes foot's disgusting to talk about. It is.

But is there like a shot now that we get? Like when we go for our annual check-in with the doctors, it's like, hey, update on your shot. So yeah, here's the athlete's foot. Yeah, like it's phased out. It's like shingles or some shit. Yeah. Yeah, you don't see those anymore at all. But like the people getting athletes' foot aren't sitting there on.

Sundays like watching commercials during NFL games. They're playing in the NFL games. You know? I don't think I ever maybe. Oh, okay. Did you ever have it? I had it once. I don't think so. I still don't really know what it is. It's so weird. Just like fungus on your foot. It's like like a rash in between your toes. This is disgusting. This is not good. But itching that, nothing feels better. A little pencil in there. No, this is what you do. You take your sock you put it between your big toe and your other toe oh you do the towel between the legs mama and the wave people know the people know i bet clubhouse the people know that that shit is number one feeling of all time that is it goes cleaning out your ears and then athlete's foot

that athlete's foot scratch i don't even know why dude i swear i had athlete's foot when i was like eight years old i think i might have done it on purpose just because of the commercials just a tough fact into that I just needed some boom well yeah maybe it's as well like they don't have once you once you don't have john madden as your spokesman what do you go from there it's a tough act to follow to have john mad I mean got to go it goes john madden shack then you're done dude jack just every commercial I'm like how many brand deals does shack have like maybe 180 absolutely insane doing that guy's taxes has to be a nightmare you're probably doesn't even do them respect yeah the whole country might be like you're good on that

shack you're in too much actually we can't even keep track of your shit shack we're just gonna pardon you because you entertain us and we don't even know what's going on shack might be the next president i'd vote for him no everyone's voting for shack you can't be like nah i don't like them shack unless you're me in eighth grade shack versus the rock we're in debate i'm going to shack i'm going to shack Yeah, the rocks, it's like, okay, we know this is, you're putting on a show, you're WWE. Shack, we know he's putting on a show, but he's more nonchalant about it.

Yeah, he's more like, oh, okay. Yeah, right. It's just the Evans brothers. Okay, what you say? Oh, man. That Aries Spears impression of him? Yeah. God, that one kills.

His eyes, somehow gets his eyes go like one eye going a different way. crazy dude um why does every mom love shack it's like shack and brett farf just lovable guys dude my mom no they love shack they they want to bang bret farv yeah because who doesn't my um my mom we're doing i think i've told you this story before but for the clubhouse we were on a road trip i think to pittsburg actually i damn that dude and we're doing you know we have a bunch of us in there like six of us in there. I think it was me, my sister, her husband, my

wife, and then my parents. So we're all riding out there and we just, you know, we play a little car family games of, you know, to pass the time. So we do like different things of like, all right, you know, top five McDonald's, top five fast food restaurants. Oh, you guys play those games in the car?

Yeah. Damn. It's always interesting. My dad always fucks up. But we always say, go five to one. And then he'll always start with like, all right, my top dog. I'm like, dude, I love your dad. He messed up every time, man. It pisses me off so badly. Because like we used to talk, it's like, who gives a shit?

If you start with one, who cares about five? I know. You got to start with five and build up to the top one. Five down. God dang. He just never understands. Messes it up every time. I want to hear his though.

Do you know it? I can't remember. But we had one question. I was just like, all right, if you had to be like handcuffed to somebody for 30 days, who would it be? And my mom said Shaq. Not your dad. Just said Shaq right in front of your dad.

I'm like, what? She has a Shaq cookbook? No, what the fuck is Shaq? It's like a cookbook that's like authored by Shaq. It's just him on the front. Who knows if he even did anything with it? But again, just another brand deal with like, hey, Shaq, do you want to put your face on this? He's like, yeah, I could do that.

Does he have a chef hat on? I don't think so. That would have been funny. Fuck yeah. A little too close to the South Park character. Oh, didn't think about that. Is he holding a spatch or anything? Apron?

But then I was in, I was in, I was in, I was in Vegas for that bachelor party. The Airbnb were at. This old white lady is like the owner of the Airbnb. She's one of those that we had to meet like the night we got there. I'm going like right on her little TV stand. You know, people throw like random books on there. Mm-hmm. She's got a shack book.

Wait, a book or a cookbook? My mom has a cookbook. Hers is just a book. Damn, dude. What the hell's going on? Yeah, my mom, 30 days to shack? How was that going to work? She's fucking making her food, dude.

Anyways, yeah, we play those kind of games. We were annoying, dude. We didn't play. We played like, I spy and shit. Yeah. And I was like, what are we doing right now? This is what we're doing? I get that kind of broad appeal to that.

You know, it's a commercialized, like, car game. But. So, uh, Lists are the best, dude. You can talk about lists. Literally start in New Hampshire drive to L.A. You can do lists the entire time. Love a list.

Tough, I, tough, high, tough, who's not having fun doing that? Mm-hmm. We do movies. We do holiday movies. We do candy.

We do fast food joints. We do, I mean... I could play the gas station one forever. Yeah. I could do the whole day. Well, that's ever changing.

You know, now like yesterday, I stopped in and I got sour skiddle like they're like gummies like sour skittal gummies like sour god the gummies at gas station right now dude where have you been on my life life life life there's 80 different variations I know it's too much so I just got to what I really have to do is I get back all right what was the first one that your mind is

set on boom that's it go because if not you're in there forever a five hour car trip becomes a seven and a half hour one because you stop at two or three different gas stations and you're in there just pacing back and forth in the candy aisle give me a speedway with good lighting bro i hate so much though i hate restaurants attached to gas stations dude i just can't do it like the restaurant itself like when i see a subway attached to a gas station i'm like i don't want to go to that snow boy yeah mcdonald i just i i can't i can't do it can't do it i'll literally i'll literally like if if that happens and you know we're on a road trip and we see in the x-sacet Oh, there's a McDonald's coming up and I go and I pull off and the McDonald's is attached attached to the gas station and I don't have to get gas. Next exit. Next exit. We're going back. I need the full thing. I need the red roof. I need the golden arches. I need this little make shift bullshit.

It is. A corner of a marathon. This isn't a real establishment. Where are you getting your shit from? There's a Twix bar in here. Right. There's a slushy machine in here. Right. You're taking slim jims in there and putting them in my burger and what the hell's going on here? Well, you can buy a lottery ticket at this McDonald's. I'm going to kill myself. My bag smells like cigarettes and gasoline. Yeah, it's a big, it's a big letdown. Yeah, gasoline, not bad. You would have a fun time on a road trip with us to Pittsburgh, though. If we could ever lock you down and freaking put you in a straight jacket.

I'm pretty good on road trip. And throw you in the back of the car. I should be in a straight jacket at all times. Why was that a, like a big fear of mine when I was a kid? Being in a straight jacket? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that like says something about my anxiety levels or something, but it freaked me the hell out.

What, being in one of those? Like, yeah, because I think it'd be kind of comfortable. But I would see people on TV and then they're freaking out, you know, in like cartoons or on shows and everything. And I just didn't like, I didn't like the, I got too. The folded arms is a weird look. Like, why can't they be at your sides? Hmm. Why is it called a straight jacket, too?

Is it straight or a shirtful? stray like it all flows into one word like a stray shtr a i jacket this is one of those words that yeah i don't know i just kind of you say it fast and hope that nobody's like wait what the hell did you i've just never seen it spelled yeah there was there was someone's name the other day and i was like that's his name i thought

it was i thought there was just like uh amani tumor when i was you think it was spelled like a brain tumor when i was a kid i thought his last name was just a moni tumor like I didn't know it was two names yeah yeah some of those are just like you have to say and then you see it you see the word and you're like oh shit that's just Pat Summerall wasn't just saying tumor on the catch he was saying

Amani tumor to the 25 sometimes you just gotta say the first and last name right for people for sure you're kind of like that really Ben Politi I guess you wouldn't because I mean who's saying Ben you know there's a million God the amount of people I get I get that come out to me and be like, oh, you and you and, uh, Polizzi?

I'm like, dude. Everybody. Yeah, I don't even care anymore. I do. I just let them go. I'm gonna sit here and spell check you, bro. That's not how you say it though. No one's ever gonna remember.

I get Molineri. You get a bunch of weird shit. People tell me a bunch of, you and you. Molonaro. Oh, Molonaro for sure. That's like 95%. I that's kind of your name I hear you on the police

but Molanaro I don't know I understand Polizzi is just like it's just not it That's true Politzi

Iotzos Nobody's hitting that The double Z man But if you do I will give you props If somebody says it right The double Z Oh

I'll kiss you You don't see You don't say pizza say pizza can we have some pizza can we have pizza in that it's right I want pizza

it's simple as that man pizza pizza anyways like piazza you know Mike piazza black Mets jersey

I think every mom likes him too talk to me baby Piazza black Mets jersey hard Darrell strawberry hard where we

there's a there was a jersey that I thought of not too long ago that I was like man if somebody showed up in that it's on this is the only game this is the only thing I think about was it the black priest holmes jersey did the chiefs ever actually wear those

no but everyone's thinking why aren't they yeah see I have a lot I have a problem with most teams who are just like yeah like the colds being like yeah we're going to do an Indiana night just there's all of a sudden doing black. I'm like, you can't do that. It's so weird when the 49ers did it.

I was like, guys. But the Chiefs? Know yourself. The Chiefs, I'd get down with that. The Chiefs could pull it off. Yes. Because the colors are booming. Chiefs, I get down with it.

The red, yellow and the white. Absolutely. That is one of those ones. Because they would sell that. That's black, black priest Holmes, bro. I'm just, look, as a fan of a team whose primary color is actually black. Mm-hmm. Let's just take a step back here, right?

My dad's calling me. I want to get that. Oh, it's Big Steelers Day. What's up? How much? Driving to the new house with a bull truck. Just checking and seeing how you're doing and looking forward to hearing the Colquid stories from the Steelers. Oh, yeah, those are wild.

You're actually, you're all, I'm recording these guys right now, so you're on speaker. This guy, ask him. We were talking about our top five lists on our way to Pittsburgh. All right. I screw them up every time. Can you do a quick? Can we get top five gas station picks? No, let's do a simpler one for it.

Let's do just do top five fast food joints for Joe three. Top five fast food joints. All right. Gosh, I have to think about five of them. Come on. Five. Yeah. Go McDonald's.

Okay. All right, not bad. You want me to go one, did you? I went on a probably, I would have died. Three and a half minute rant about how you never get it right. All right, McDonald's five. Come on.

Yeah. Culver's four. Ooh, kind of low. I thought that was going to be number one. Your mom likes Culver's more. Coler's okay um I'm gonna go with

xxby's number three oh nice good tenders yeah zaxby's snuck in there it's pretty good stuff it's pretty good stuff it is thick cut crinkle fries and uh little new yeah

all right two two and one um two crap um I might have to bump everything up let's see two let's go Burger King number one

Chich-P-P-Lay. Wow, B-K number two. You've always been a B-K guy. I like that. Love a Womber. Yeah. This is what the hell is going to be number one. He said, he already used them all. He said Chick-fil-A. Oh, he did. Okay, okay. Chick-fil-A, that's an easy one. Yeah, for sure. All right. Well, that's a good list. All right, face. Didn't need to interrupt, but glad to talk to you. No, never interrupt. All right. Be safe. See you guys. Later. Dude, why don't I feel like I have to call my dad now?

Should we? He should. Dude, I'm kind of scared. Dude, I am too. We're going fast food for him? There's no one I'm more afraid of than Joe Politsi. Me too. Dude, this is going to be weird.

Both our dad's names is Joe. What if he gets mad? He will get mad. Are we doing fast food? He will get mad. He's going to get mad. Don't even, don't even tell. Actually, yeah, just do it.

No, I'm going to lay it down for him. No, boy. This is the first time I've called my dad in the last three years. I'm walking out of the room. Yo, Coach P, you're on these guys' podcasts with me and Joey Mulanaro. Right now? Right now. You ready?

All right. Wait, what are you doing? Nothing. I'm just sitting in the kitchen and having a coffee. Coach, you watching the Lions today? Oh, you better believe it. Four o'clock games. There we go.

Who are they playing? Good. Who do they have? No one knows. But we got a question for you. It doesn't matter. You do. Yeah.

Can you give us your top five fast food places? Okay. Let's hear it. Like right now? Right now. Yeah. No, come on. Off the dome.

Off the dome. Top five. Number one would be... Oh, no. No. No. You got to start with five. You got to start with five.

Don't ruin the magic. Number five would be... Chipotle. Wow. Dang. Nice, nice. We just did the, Joey's dad just did this.

You got the cathedral money. Is that right? Chipotle 5. Now, are you counting pizza as fast food? It's your world. It's your world.

I would definitely go Papa John 4. I know, John. Just dropping that ass off. Yep. All right. Three? Three would be

three would be Wendy's. Whoa. Dude, secretly my dad's big on the the square burger. The potato and the chili on top of it. Oh, yeah. Crazy.

They got a good one there. Crazy move. Okay. This is good. I don't even know the other two. Let's go. Number one, I know what number one is. Number two would be...

I think I might know one of these if you don't. Okay. Well, you could... If you want to fill in two, that'd be fine. I think two. I think deep down you're going to Einstein. bagels. Oh, you're right.

You're right. Yeah. All right. Which one? Jersey mics. No! No! No!

No! Oh my God! That's great. That's such a... That's such a... What? Wait, why? Why?

Oh, my God. Their subs are great. You know those chocolate chip cookies are... They are bomb. Yeah, yeah. Probably number one fast food cookie. Always. Oh, yeah.

Always have an ample supply of bakelays. Never have to worry about walking in and not seeing no bake lays. Every single thing that you do involves bakelays. All right. We just want to know. Thanks, Coach. All right, Coach, babe. Yeah, that's it.

We're going to have you in here soon, but thanks. Yep. All right. See you, man. Bye. You got to tell your dad you love him, man. No fucking way, dude. He tells you he loved you.

I was about to say that for you. It's a front. It's a front. That was such a politely list. Like my dad's got the heavy hitters in there. That was crazy. Wendy's slipping in at three? That was definitely a reflection of like if we made the same lists, I would have, you know,

the more traditional ones and you would be like, uh, let's go Mo's Southwest Grill. Let's go chicken salad chick. Dude, Southwest Grill. It's crazy. She went Chipotle 5. That wasn't a bad list. No, that's,

you know, I was on my toes. I really didn't know what was coming next. I had no clue. I wonder, you know what I do? Right now, I just,

what was he going to say for two? Before I stepped in there. He was hyped about Einstein now. God, that's so funny. Mom's add S's to everything. Dad's drop S's from everything. Oh yeah.

Just flicking that ass like it's a cigarette dude. We're going to targets. Yeah, he'll have some puppet John. It's crazy. Papa John. Crazy. That was the most dad shit I've ever heard in my life.

Well, one, he started with one, so he took over for my dad because my dad knows that I would smack him over the head if he did that, which I've done in the car multiple times. Papa John. Bapa John. God, I think that should be our like Christmas episode. I think we should record. Have our dads in here? With me, you, both our dads, a bunch of Bapa John beats a. Papa John.

On a Sunday maybe again with an NFL game on and we're just kind of like talking. Yeah, I'm down. Like live streaming? We all have Santa hats on. Except you're dad. My dad's not wearing that shit. My dad's not wearing that shit.

My dad will wear like a Star Wars Christmas sweater. I'll have something. We'll dress like the dancing Santa videos. I wear a red dress shirt. White shirt with a red tie. khaki pants. Like he's going to going to a high school in Ohio to recruit.

Like he's like he's coaching college football in 1964. That is where he gets his look from. I just realized that. Like my dad's whole style is like when the coaches wear suits on the sideline.

Didn't a coach do that for the Jags? Didn't Jack Del Rio wear a fucking suit? By the way, name Jack Delria. Who doesn't want to bang him? Jesus Christ, bro. Hot as coach. Hot as coach ever?

Question mark? Maybe that's who I want to be my dad. I think we should, I think that should happen though. That would be so, that would be just ridiculously fun. And if Clubhouse enjoys it, honestly,

you know, I mean, it's not for you. It's for us. Yeah, that one would be for us, yeah. Just a whatever.

My dad would be trying to like break down formations. your dad would be talking to him, we'd just be sitting there. We wouldn't say one word, dude. I wouldn't talk the whole time. Yeah, just like this. Your dad all of a sudden just thinks that he's back in the booth. Oh, yeah. All right.

I'm doing this. All right, B, you see, uh, they got the trips formation here. We start trying to talk about it. Which hasn't done that. Kick out. Yep. We started trying to, like, talk about the uniforms or something. He's like, okay, well, if we want to get back to the game here, B.

Like, coach, this is our show. We're not on the broadcast. We're not on here. Oh, that's great. Crazy. I can't believe that just happened. Imprompt to Joey Moll and Joey P. That was good.

Should we do that every week with something? Maybe not every week. Yeah, just special occasions. They're not part of the show, you know? Not part of the show. All right, uh, let's, let's check the mailbag. Can't wait. Go over to Team these guys at gmail.com.

Mail time. The mail bag. This is from Nick. Burpy, boy. I love you. God, that was job of the HUD. That was a crazy burp. You got some good burps lately.

Hey, boyish. This past weekend, my wife and I got into YouTube rabbit hole of music videos from the late 90s, early 2000s. It reminded me of growing up on summer. break. We turn on the music video channel on charter cable and watch music videos for hours. Just wondering if you guys ever did this growing up and what were some of your favorite music vids from back then? My list, red hot chili peppers can't stop. Enrique Glacius escape hilariously corny and of course, Usher, yeah. Let me know your thoughts. Throw the butter in the

pan, sear me on both sides, cook me to a perfect medium rare and slap my ass. Sear me is good. I love a good sear. Anytime something says pan seared, I'm like, I'm getting it. Yeah. that's going to be good uh all right that's from nick i love it yeah no that was um dude that was that was middle school for me in like early like fifth grade like on the cusp of middle school you know when you're like you and the boys start like all you care about is chicks you know you start getting to that point when you're like fifth grade sixth grade going up into middle school and everything um that was it dude jordan risser's little uh they had like a loft area oh the guy that had the loft so and they had a computer

So jealous. And it was always the fastest computer. Dude. They had a computer and then right there next to it that had a TV that was just good enough to throw on IMC local channel. And there's just Indies music channel. And that's all it was his music videos. And we just sit there on like eBOM's world and then have the music plan. And that was our summer.

That's fun, dude. Dude, great times. Bobby Valentino slow down always comes to mind. Slow down. Just because it was so passionate. I just want to get to know. But don't turn around. Dude, at the end, when he's like, God, he get, it's one of those where he really lets it go at the end.

You know, he's like, yeah. Yeah, you're just like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, it looks so good. He went there. He went there. Man, yeah. Yeah. And so there's always, like, always, of course, you know, really hot chicks in that.

I mean, come on. Brittany Spears, toxic. Like, what are we doing? That was a great song. The song was a bangier that she didn't really. want to admit to your friends at the time that you loved but then you had bernie spears like half naked all the backup dance it was just like holy shit yeah you got to watch this that was the ones for me at least it was like the ones where it was like oh fergis naked and a pile of cake

batter okay mm-hmm can do that i'm gonna tune into this one a little bit more what's the music video that was always on for me it might have been like you know what i really remember being number one for way too long was uh like i think it was m&m this is some old that shit but he was always yeah but uh for me it was the late night uncut beat t yeah like 3 a m they play like some they play like some like some like should this be on tv type shit

tip drill nelly late night b t that was i was staying up for that i would stay up and watch some weird shit on tv dude eminem's music videos were always like that like lisa ann would randomly be on there you're like oh like that we made you with all One, two, madgeo. You hear your mom coming change the channel. Yeah.

That's weird. They're always entertaining. You're like, what the hell is going on here? I don't know. I don't want to know, I don't think. I always had my finger on the last channel. T.I. Why you want to? It was like down in the Caribbean or something.

I totally forgot about that song. Why you want to go and do that? Uh, huh. Hey, why you want to go and do that? do it. Just a few that come to mind. Ti, just 10 songs that sound the same.

But they're good. They remind you of a certain time. All right, from Andrew, this guy, greetings from Cincinnati. My question is regards to high school football.

Perfect. I went to a pretty serious football school on the west side of Cincinnati. St. X, obviously. How strange are the couple hours between when schools lets out

and kick off at like seven? I swear I've never been more tired. By the time I would make it home. I've been up like 18 hours. They would feed us the worst catered meal of the nastiest wedding food you can imagine so we'd have some energy to play. You guys had talked about strange pregame hype up speeches from coaches. One of the weirdest I can remember is our head coach throwing out earthworms for a few of us to eat. I guess to show how tough we are, L.O. You guys have any memories of those few hours before games? Thank you. Slapped my ass while

simultaneously feeding me Skyline Chili and screaming who day. Wow. Skyline He's got a point though After the Friday of waking up at 7 a.m. And doing like taking tests and shit All right we're gonna play the biggest game That we've ever played in our lives In two hours

It was weird Yeah so time Because you had to be back at a certain time And so by the time the school got let out at three Really you didn't have like You had to be back by like 4.30 at the latest That hour between was kind of dangerous

Right you're like everybody gets back. Like I hope. Dude, a free for all high school kids with cars. Dude, you're like, I hope Mason doesn't get too high.

Someone's getting high at subway. For sure. Like we need him. Mason's getting stoned at subway. And then you see him stumble back in. You're supposed to be back at 4.30. It's like 4.42. You're like,

coach doesn't say anything to him. The coaches know, but they don't say anything. No. They know. He's the best player, but they know. Yeah,

there was no. I mean, what? they're even weirder for away games dude because home games at least like you could go venture around a little bit in the nearby areas yeah you like pick up some shit live close oh i forgot my at my house run back run back go get it maybe hit like you said maybe hit a subway maybe hit something you know what I mean you got a girlfriend that hour's dangerous you might lose track of time you know what I mean be for the game you know so jock so high school jock letter jacket on like the girl at the car yeah oh yeah um But the away games, dude, you were just trapped. You'd be trapped in, like, the cafeteria.

And they would feed you that. And then you're like, yeah, I guess we got to get on the bus to make this 20-minute drive. That was a word. Dude, that happened. Get on the bus and pads? Fuck off. The bus and pads, you know what I'm doing? First thing I'm doing.

Dude, before the biggest game you ever played, just 13 people passed out cold in the bus. Waking up groggy as shit. Yeah, like, where are there am I? Oh, fuck. We're playing Franklin Central. You got sweat. Or you got drool coming down out of your mouth. it's like staying on your shirt a

best map you've ever taken before a football game your face just has an implant of like the your shoulder pad number or some shit you know because you're resting on that yeah sleeping on top of your shoulder pads nothing's been more comfortable

god dang dude like everybody always talks about how it's tough to play on the road in college tough to play on the road in the NFL I think the toughest away game is high school because you got to do all that shit you're trapped in a cafeteria with half the team that doesn't want to play forever eating shitty food

and then you got to go on the bus ride and the coaches are like, shut up! Hey! Jackson! We're either praying the rosary or we're not talking at all. 65 Hail Mary's

playing the team 10 minutes away. I'm like, what are we doing? What a way to pump the team up? The rosary? Yeah, no thanks. All right, this is from AJ. his coming off last week his subject line shatard roncali cathedral players only from these three teams could contend to the super ball every year he said players from these schools could contend for the super bowl every year slap my ass and run fullback dive okay what a guy i mean yeah we named out some pretty good ones last week i don't know about super bowl but that's crazy this from tom subject says from sweden with love wow whoa

Hey guys, love your show. Love the effort on the weekly fits. Thank you. These guys on YouTube, I've been spooky all month long because I have been. 35 minutes to pick this out. I was like, really? Yeah.

What's the crew neck you got there? Or the hoodie? Just a little hoodie, yeah. A little tie-dye hoodie. Yeah. Nice. We need someone to build us a quote, guess the sports guy app where it gives you only few facts about the guy,

place of birth, single season stat line, but you give the option to reveal more facts. Try to guess the guy. and you get more points. The less hints you use. Wordle for sports guys. Slop my ass and swing me in

from the rafters like Creed and the Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving Day. Half-time show. Can you take me higher? With arms wide open. I think I remember watching that. It's not with arms wide open. It's with arms wide open.

That's a great idea, Tom. His idea is like all these abs. apps that come out like word old the daily games that you can play where they give you like a few clues and you try to guess it in the least amount of guess is possible this is just for like random 2000s football players so you just get like a notification that says julian edelman and you're like you got to guess is college no no no no it's like so i mean you could do that route but like let's say in this one is like uh was the third down back for the Steelers in 2009 oh we're the ones writing the questions Mowal Day more.

I'm in. Shut the fuck up. Most fun ever. Best pregame. It's a great game. Best pregame game ever. Just won a day or you can keep going? I like just one a day.

Grady if you keep going on. Because it's like wordal. There's only, you know, you get one chance of day. One day you wake up and it's, yeah. Duh. Yeah. I was trying to think I was the top of my head,

but I was like, that's too obvious. I'm going to say Chris Hogan. But from Christopher, Who needs a kiss plus a question? All right, gentlemen. Love what you guys are doing on the pod. I now find myself looking forward to Tuesdays more than the weekend,

so no more highness says, please, you got it. Who I need to kiss? Paul Pierce. Cannot stand the guy. I'm a diehard Nets fan, and this man used to make me angry enough to punch a baby. Oh, and the Celtics played the Nets. Yeah, 2002.

And he could be playing without any fucking arms, and the game was just never over. Dude was an absolute killer, and it made me sick to my stomach. But goddamn, do I respect what he did on a basketball court? In terms of who else needs a kiss, Did we say Jordan and Isaiah Thomas yet? Jordan and Pippin?

What about Kyrie Irving and the nice young lady administrating the free COVID vaccines at CVS? Talk about a cheap shot. Chee-cheez. Anyway, question for you, handsome maniacs. If you could be the most dominant athlete in any sport, any position, what would be most personally fulfilling?

I think I would have to go with a starting pitcher in Major League Baseball, even though it's a team sport. When you're on touchable as a pitcher, there's literally nothing else that matters. Tough to imagine anything more exhilarating than getting to do that and perform in front of 20,000.

on a regular basis. Curious to hear your thoughts. Keep up the great work. Please book some shows in Jersey if you ever hit the East Coast so I don't have to come out there but I will if I have to. Slap my ass with a rolled up

sopping wet Brett Farb Jersey. God, sopping. Like a towel? The way that would sting. Yeah, but you don't snap it. You just fucking clap that shit. Dominant, what do you got? What do you think?

He said pitcher. Um, I don't, I think it's better if you're, You're like the home run king on the other end. That's like. Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah. Hit a ball 500 feet on the road.

Cracking one out of the stadium. And it goes in the water. And you just stand there and sit and just look at it. And everybody just goes silent. Running the voice is just looking at everybody. That's crazier than being a pitcher. Barry Bonds would hit balls so far and so hard that literally like people would canoe to them. Well, yeah.

But then like the opposing team would be like they would look down. be like holy Jesus Christ like they would be ashamed that might be it that would be sick is there another one in soccer no just trying to think of a random sport I think if you're like Tiger Woods level golf

and if you're just in the zone yeah you know just everything you were hitting was just greening it foot away from the pen just like oh man red polo just hitting hitting, you know, hitting the wedge and just sinking it from like 65 yards out.

That golf crowd does go crazy. Dude, they go crazy. Because they got to be so quiet that when they can go crazy, they go nuts. Damn. I don't know. And like the buildup, dude, there's nothing more that I love than watching. Yeah, like if you hit a little chip and it goes on the green and like it's just a zoom in on the ball. And you don't know where the pen is coming or the hole.

But then like you hear the crowd like leveling up. You're like, oh, it's about to go in. and then it fucking sinks. Yeah. I think that would be my pick. Being the golf guy. Being the home run. Home run would be,

yeah, like a dude that just like, you're either getting intentional walked or hitting it 525 feet. Dude, the guys that hit all the home runs do they have so many like, like braces and pads on.

Yeah. You know? You know. Barry Bons would get walked and take, it'd take like 20 minutes for him to take off a bunch of equipment and shit. Your dad's so pissed. Got to have all that.

Didn't know. we're playing dress up. Nothing more dads. Nothing dads hate more than accessories. Any equipment. Accessories. All right. Last one here from Andrew.

These guys, dudes, miss you during the summer. I found myself thinking about your shot during your hiatus. Went to a wedding with no cake, just four kinds of donuts. Total these guys move.

Oh, man. There we go. Talk about smacking my ass. I wonder what kinds they were. Yeah. Maybe email back in, Andrew,

and let us know. Excited to hear TG56 because 56 was the first number I ever had in fourth grade flag football. 56. I'm 38 now and I still think 56 is the hardest number on the football. It is. On the football. No deal.

F-U-B-A-L-L. Fuck yes, dude. Question, what number goes hardest on the gridiron? No one that wears 56 as a Nancy. None. I don't even like seeing the number 57 because I think it's weak and a sign of weakness.

One other thing, how did your discussion of best running back names not include Ben Jarvis Green Ellis, the law firm? Pretty good. All-time names. and nickname. Keep up the good work, boys. P.S. Ben, as Joey calls him, uh, Jeremy Schacky style. I saw, what do I say? I say, he says Ben or Ben as Joey calls him. B. I am. Yeah,

but anyways, as Jeremy Shockey style, I saw you play college ball when I'm marrying. You kick my team's ass by 50 plus Concordia. Smack my ass and call me big booty, Judy. I love this guy. Um, number, yeah, hardest number. So that, you have to, you have to. two sides of the coin here. Love that phrase. He's not, not wrong about 56. No, no, no, no, 56 goes crazy. It's either a linebacker or guard or a nose tackle. They always are like tough. Oh yeah. Like we're talking no glove tough. A little stocky ass linemen coming around and pulling. Yep. Don't want to get on that. Don't want to be on the tracks. That train's coming through. You have two sides of

coin of this equation. One, you have hardest in terms of like what's the coolest number. Okay. but then two what you're talking about Andrew here I think is just like what is like the grittiest toughest football number I got a lot of these okay it's gonna be tough I don't know why I do like a DB that's number 31 for some reason it's always somebody you need it like oh shit okay a little taller okay um but like a like a tough number is what he wants what do you got I think if you have a 68 guard like a left Guard number 68. Can't even look at him.

Like that dude is planting you. Oh, dude, a linebacker in the 20s. Ooh, fast. Fuck. Fast as shit.

Middle linebacker number, maybe just number 20. You're like, fuck. That one, he's going to hit you, dude. Yeah,

because in high, so like, well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore, although there's no really any rules on any level. But when that was like new, like in there was a defense of like

N that was number nine or something, you're like, damn. Yeah, I mean, I think linebacker... He's going out of you. Linebacker 55, like you know he's laying the wood. Yeah, because they don't make them like that anymore. I just said that. Like, may not, may be a little bit of a liability in coverage,

but he's coming downhill and film the B gap quick. He might get like a sneaky pick. Dude, just, yeah. Like a weird accidental, like, catches at the last second pick. And he's like, hey, the D.Bs are coming up to him. trying to be like pitch it to me pitch you to me he's like fighting them off too he's pulling them down the sideline yeah yeah yeah gets pushed out of bounds if he would a lateral that though would have been six 34 for a running back cool pretty good pretty good outside lineback

or 34 too hmm okay wide receiver see I'm going like the traditional like when I think wide receiver 80s 80s bro wide receiver in the in the 80s are real 88 you know now that single digit or the teens is a thing for wide receivers. I'm like, I think you'd just be so much cooler if you're 88. 88's nice. 80, 80, all the 80s, 87. Weird to have that now. Are there any?

87's tight end for sure. Oh, yeah. Okay. Mark Bruner. Gronk. Kelsey. Bruner. The most tight end, Tony Gonzalez. 88. Wait, is Kelsey 87? Crazy's in the 80s, dude.

I love it. 87's insane. No, we could talk about this for the next three hours, but unfortunately, we're out of time. Damn. All right, Sunday morning podcast recording. Good deal. Don't forget to the clubhouse.

Tell us who you think your dad should be, or who you want your dad to be. Who should be your dad? Who should be your dad? Who do you want to be your dad? In the comments. Fritz Fowler. Review.

These guys on YouTube, subscribe. Watch us on there to see our fits. There's a few people in the emails mentioned. These guys at gmail.com. That might have been the best content that we've ever gotten. My tickets for Pittsburgh are on sale. Pittsburgh and they're going fast. So the folks out there, you know,

my Steelers Nation, black, everybody, they're shown out. So hop on those, get in there while you can. October 25th. Yeah. So appreciate it.

All right. Hot, hot. See you guys. These guys. Bye.