THESE GUYS! - Big Ben Sloppy Burger

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

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There's one drink. It's called the Ducks on the Pond. It's Duck Hodges. It's a throwback. People are like, yeah, you remember that one random year? Duck Hodges played quarterback for the Steelers. Yeah, that's what that drink's named after. It's just the most like, what shit ever?

TG 59. TG 59. Zoom guys. Zoom guys with mics. Podcasters. If we weren't a. before now we certainly will be god damn bro we're we look so we look like nerds dog i know hey you look look how the tides have turned you have the space cans on i have the little buds

i'm gonna kill you dude who am i don't like these need to get bigger bro i need bigger ones i just want to wear a whole astronaut helmet when i do this that would be funny why is this so hard to do Like you should see the setup in here I would turn around my computer But it's like Bro there's so much shit going on in here I got a light I got a mixer

There's 17 chords on the ground Wow I feel like a schmuck then Because I just have Zoom and my mic From the Stern show And that's it Dude All right That's what I appreciate

His ice cream cone Do it Yeah what up I've been I've been God dang It's that time of year. Not only is the time of year for the Christmas Cups.

Christmas Cough. But it is the time of the year to just like, you're just, you're just sick, now. You're just sick until April. Dude, I've been sick for like 17 weeks. Ever since I got back from being grounded, I've been sick. Every single, every week, dude. I wake up and it's, I, there's this phlegm. my throat is like dry

you can hear it it's dry and raspy I got the sexy sick voice going on yeah nothing wrong like this nothing wrong with that it's gonna stay like this you're sick until April and then the allergies hit and then it's like well okay

we're just sick guys I'm just kind of used to it every day I wake up I don't know why but every day I wake up this is kind of gross there's so much crust on my eyes. And I'm like, do I get pink eye every night?

Like, it's just 100% 10 out of 10 nights. I wake up and I'm like, what the fuck happened? But I kind of like picking it out of my eyes. I don't know. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It's like when you're in grade school and you had the girl who always like having the dried glue on her hand so she could rip it off. That was, I remember that dude, a little, uh, what is it? the glue, the super glue, you ever get super glue in your hands, but you do it on purpose, just so you can like bite it off during church.

Yep. And then if she gave you a little bit of that, it was like, are we dating? Okay, so we're in love. So we shared glue hands. We found glue in a hopeless place. We found glue in a hope. I'm going to do that to a girl now. Hey, I'm going to see your hand.

Just fucking put glue all over it. What's up? he trying to fuck do one of these open up those fingers bro lock them dude I got somebody somebody did that the other night

they're like it wasn't me I was just watching two other people match up hands and I got so like embarrassed I was like wow you guys are in love damn you remember that feeling obvious yeah that feeling

when the girl that you like you know were low key crushing on she wanted to compare hands it was compare hands time randomly and study hall Hey, now. Nothing more horny than comparing hands. I'm like, can you guys fucking keep it PG?

God dang. If you compared hands and then she, you know, giggled a little bit, it was like, well, when's the, when's the date? Yeah. We send it out, save the dates. We're going to see Stomp the Yard later. Oh, dude, guess who I had an event with over the weekend? You're at LSU, right?

Yeah. Who? Losu, Alabama. Yeah. And Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Wait. LSU. So you're at Alabama's stadium?

Yeah. But you were rocking LSU, right? Yes, yes. Okay, okay. Who did you say? Ha-ha Clinton Dix. Oh, yes. Dude, I saw him on the Dozeki's Friday Night Doce.

Ha ha. What a beautiful baby. What should we name him? I thought about bringing that up. Bro, bro, bro. That would be the craziest shit of all time. But I didn't, considering the fact that he still looks like he can play strong safety in the NFL right now. Yeah, it was kind of like, why isn't he?

When you were doing that, I was like, doesn't he have a game tomorrow? He was the director of player development at Bama now, so he's still sticking around the program. But yeah, dude, it was crazy. All I could think about the entire time was just his name. I remember. Just our podcast. I know, man. And your tweet.

I remember, like, when he was getting drafted, that's all that was happening was just his name going on the bottom of the ticker and Mill Kuiper saying it. Dude, have you seen that TikTok of the play-by-play guys when he picks off a pass? No. I got to pull this up here. It was one of those that, do you ever repost TikToks? Like, it's got to be really good for you to repost it. Dude, like, I don't even, I've never done it. And I think when people repost TikToks, they're crazy.

I'm like, I don't do it often. It's got to be big. I mean, we're talking like it's got to be in the millions, millions, plays, you know. But even then, I'm like so many people have reposted it. I feel like I'm the last one to see it. Here we go. The killer commentator of the back. That's perfect. That's perfect. Who's not doing that, though? I feel like that should be like his whole thing. Just at any time he makes it tackle. Thriller laugh. That's what he comes out.

of the tunnel too. It's just the, it's just the thriller laugh. It's not even the song. Perfect. It's just one dude. Thriller laugh has a chokehold on my entire life, dude. I miss that segment. All I was so fun. That was an all-time segment right there. Man, I, uh, so you remember my dog troubles a couple weeks ago? Yeah, when he ran away. Did I tell you, Juan Arello came up to me at a show and was bro, I listen to the podcast. Hopefully he didn't think I was a dick. And I didn't know what he was talking about.

I was like, oh, thanks for listening, bro. He's like, no, no, no. Joey's dog running away. And I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But all right, yeah, catch me up on the happy news. I'm always on the lookout for Juan now. Whenever I'm in the neighborhood, whenever I'm walking him or if I'm just driving,

I'm like, where is Juan just peeking out waiting for my dog to run away? Oh, he was watching about it. bro he's watching you um yeah i bro so i i go to the vet today and he's got to you know do some manual checkups and and and check-ins and shots and all that and it's just like these these veterinarians god love them these doctors of of animal medicine like what are they talking about man i mean i'm in there and they're giving me the most detailed just absolutely every bit of information and i'm like Can we just get like a one plus one equals two situation here? Like I don't need to know the exact kind of, you know,

infection that his ear has and where it came from and the environmental coderness and blah, like just say, okay, happy has this. We're going to give them this so that it's no longer that. I know. I know. Like, and you got to sit there and pretend like you know what they're talking about. That's the funniest part. Yeah, okay.

All right. so many, hey, so many, sure, sure, right. You're good at, you do, you do throw a good sure in there though. Damn, you noticed that? Sure. Oh, I've always noticed it. I'm like, he's nice with, he's got a good sure on him. He's strapped with like 10 sure's. You got to have that, you know?

Because it can't all be, it can't be right, right, right. I like the, I like the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Dude, I'll hit you with the fucking four-ya's rapid fire. Dude, if you do that, I mean, walk away. The yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is the universal sign for I have no idea what you're talking about. And also, please get away from me as soon as possible. Kill me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, kill me. But then it's always the people who just continue to stick around. You, you're always hitting those people. with the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The picture is never painted for him, apparently. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it means get away immediately. I hit one the other day.

I hit one the other day. He was backing out of our, like, parking unit. And he's like, I'm going to turn around and then leave. I don't want to back out and hit something. And I was like, yeah, man, no rush. Meaning, like, hurry the hurry. Oh, dude. I said it and I was like, I got a tweet.

That's fucking these guys right there, bro. No rush, dude. I had 10,000 things I needed to do. I was like, holy shit. No rush. Do it now. Back to happy, though, at the vet. And the dudes explaining all the stuff to you.

That happens sometimes to me at restaurants. When, like, the people are explaining, like, where the fucking grapes came from that are in your wine that you're drinking. I'm like, dude. I don't give a shit, man. Or the glass. Yeah, the grips are from Napa Valley in the... I'm like, bro.

Well, they run through the whole menu. You lost me after the appetizers, bro. Sometimes, like, servers, I've been one, so I feel like I can talk shit. I feel like they think that they're part of the group. Experience. I'm like, get out of here, dog. In and out. No talkie.

Yeah, and it almost becomes it's like, okay, you're saying this so fast and, you know, like I know that you had to commit it to memory and it's honorable. But you're saying it's so fast running through it's so fast that I don't even know what you're saying. Nothing. Yeah. And for our main entree this week, it is the cod that is coming out of New England. We catch that fresh every single day. We season it with this. And then on top of that, we have a little bit of a triseling there.

So what I'm like, dude. Uh, so, the only thing I remember... Yeah. The only thing I remember you saying is cod. And then those same waiters will memorize all that. Well, write down your order. Fuck it up. That's the, that was the most impressive shit of all time, though.

The first time you had one of those servers that, like, didn't write anything down, I was like, mom. Now, you've been in the service industry like that. What is the... Do you guys talk about that? You know, everybody's got their own style. you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, what's the reasoning for not just having the pen there to jot down some notes

just to cover your ass? I don't know, man. I don't know. You think you're going to get tipped more or? No, it's just like, yeah, I got it. Yeah, end of the night. I've been doing this all night. You kind of go rogue a little bit.

It's kind of cocky, you know? It's never at the beginning of a shift when a server is like just freeballing it like that. It's always like late in the night, you know. It might have had a, might have had a drink, a couple drinks to be on the bar illegally. It's feeling good. I was never those memorized guy, obviously. I was writing down everything, bro. And then I'd go back there and try to put in the order and I couldn't read any of my handwriting. I'd be like, what the fuck are we doing? Yeah. No, I mean, it's, I don't know. I used to be like, oh, wow, yeah, that's a nice, like, skilled tool to have. But,

the older I get, I'm just like, man, you're just really setting yourself up for failure. Because the second that you come back and you even forget like a honey mustard, the mom is looking. The mom is looking. They would have wrote it down. They wouldn't have forgot. Bro, that's the only thing people want to is like ketchup. The reason I'm going out to eat is ketchup. And they'll be like, oh, oh, that's right.

Yes. Okay, yep. I'm coming. I'll bring that right back out to you. You forget again. and then the mom or the dad that's why that's why you write it down

I know the mom turns the mom turns once you know she's fake being nice to the waiter waitress walking away you know oh no problem yeah thanks yeah okay yeah good I just don't know why they didn't write down the first place it's a it's a mess hardest job ever by the way

hardest job ever that's why there's so many TV shows and movies about that I feel like everybody but you you'd be a fire server bro yeah just try it for a day I feel like I would be an awesome bartender

oh yeah you'd be so good dude on a Sunday yeah how about those Steelers huh bro chopin up shop hey the towel over your shoulder you good yeah you good yeah 100% every guy deep down wants to be a bartender a little bit

100% I've thought about it legitimately. I'm like, hey, you know, I work from home. You know, I have a really free schedule in terms of my work life, you know, so it's like, yeah, maybe what if a couple nights a week instead of cameo, I'm going down to the local pub and I'm just, you know, working the bar for the night shift. Bro, you at Prime 47, just cleaning up shop. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's too nice, right? That's too nice. And I'm not. And I'm not. talking about like a club, right? I don't want to go to brothers and be absolutely freaking head on a swivel, tin roof, just

losing my shit, popping the bottles. Here you go, yeah, what do you need? I don't want to do any of that. I just want to go to a place that's called like, I want to go to coaches. Lucky duck. Bucky duck. A place called Average Joe's.

Oh. It's just called the pub. Yeah. And I want to be behind an old, grungy wooden bar with a towel over my shoulder with only like two TVs behind me

but you got your regulars that come in maybe some new people on a night out like a first date situation where they're grabbing a nightcap right and I'm just I'm working it

you know we're talking about the game we're giving opinions I'm ready you're halfway through your guest you want another bro you're the mayor of that place

that's what I want to do like two nights a week that's actually that works, that checks out. I'm good with you doing that. I think you need to. Hey, what are you wearing, though? What are you wearing?

You wearing that kind of? Yeah, I'd probably go simple. Black jeans, plain shirt, whether it's black or gray. Yeah. If it's Thursday night football and I'm working, right? The Steelers are playing, obviously. Backwards hat. Backwards hat.

You know, obviously if one of my team, you know, the Steelers are playing on Thursday night football, I'll be rocking my hundred. to war jersey. Oh, yeah. On Sunday, it's Jersey day, bro. Instead of having the white towel, I'm going to have a terrible

towel over my shoulder. Oh, you know Joey the bartender, his Steelers are playing. Did he know? Everybody knows. Bro, I'd be best friends that, hey, there's never, everybody, there's never a game or

anything that you wanted to turn on that I wouldn't turn on for you. Oh, yeah. I've never, I've never, I'm never, I'm never being like, ah, you know, I just don't know. No, no, no, no. You take the remote. Let's do it.

Have that. You want Miami of Ohio and bowling green on the big screen? That's what you're going to get. Hey, me too. Cheers. That is like my ultimate dream in life, honestly, I think. So to not only be a bartender, but to have my own hole in the wall corner pub that, you know, just gets by.

it's nothing spectacular, but it's decorated, all sportsed out, man cave central, random photos of me and you from when we were like 23, like, you know, deep down. Deep down the time you want. Those kind of things. And like I own it. And then maybe like a night or two, I come in and I'm working the barton. And then it's one of those things where like, you know, I go up and I talk to the people, right? And then when I walk away, you know, the cousin who's in from out of town, his, his, his,

he was visiting you know he's just like yeah he actually owns the place but he just you know yeah yeah so cool I would never have thought that yeah no he just likes being in here and he likes hanging out and so like once or twice a week he just like pops in bartends for a little bit yeah that's that's all I want in life it's just because he loves it just because he loves the place he doesn't even he doesn't even get paid anymore he just comes in for fun exactly deep down that's what we all want it, dude. What's on the menu? What's a bar called? Is it called Joy's?

Joy's Bar and Grill? I would go to Joy's all the time. Joys, J-O-I-S. No, what would it be called? I think it's Joyce, bro. It's like you're having a good time and it's your name. No, but then it's like that gets crossed over. You know, people are like, Joy, please, what is it? Like a salon? What is it?

You know, dude, you got the umbrella tables out front. You know what it is. Maybe that could be part of the question for the clubhouse this week. Oh, what's it called? Yeah, what's the name of the bar called? What's the name of the bar called? What about me or me and Ben? Oh, in like 30 years.

That's going to be sick, dude. But the main, like, the thing it's famous for, like the food, Let's see, it can't be breadsticks What if it's like soft pretzels or some shit Something like unique but like all right, yeah You know what I mean? I get down with that Yeah

My place would have to have a killer batch of loaded fries Maybe it's a fry place You know you got the bar that's known for pizza You got the bar that's on for breadsticks Like maybe it's the fry place Joy's fries, bro. You never had fries at Joyce? Fire, bro.

Dude, yeah. I think my menu would be four things. I think it would be thin crust pizza. I think it would be loaded fries, buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks. That's it. Nothing else. Nothing else on the menu.

That's all you have. Those are your options. Maybe there's like a seasonal something. Sure, we can work in some seasons. We can work that in. That works for me. Hey, any dessert on there? Because it's got to be donuts.

Oh, yeah. We got to have donuts because you're like in the deep down you want to own a bar. Deep down, I just want to make donuts. Like, that's my thing. I just want to fill up Long John donuts. Like, that's one of me in movies when I have a Netflix special, but deep down, I just want to make donuts. That's really what I want. So maybe on the dessert side, we have a couple long johns.

options. Oh, you know what I would love to do? I would love to I would love to have I would love to have each of the menu items be named after like one of my favorite athletes or like a favorite like a favorite like play or something. You know what I mean? So I'm like that one of those that has a tie in that like oh what? Are you getting the macular reception or are you getting the snake pit? Are you getting the Indy 500 or are you getting the Big Ben?

You get a dude, get a batch of those Antoine Randallels. They're donuts shaped like L's. The Ben Rathusberger? Dude, we're so annoying. No, the Big Ben is just a giant, like it's just the giant, sloppiest sandwich whichever. Just every, like, it's the works. Yeah.

And it's just, and you know what? Hey, you know why it's that? Because it's tough to take down. It's hot. Yeah. You got to eat it right then and there because you can't sack it. Oh, God. Dude, I'm going to die.

I'm going to die, bro. Hey, a sub. She's called the bus. Take one bus with banana peppers. That'll be $36. This is, this is my dream. I know. It's every guy's dream.

It's every guy's dream to own like a sports bar. Even if you don't fuck with sports, you're like, yeah. There's one drink. It's called the Ducks on the Pond, and it's Duck Hodges. It's a throwback. People are like, yeah, you remember that one random year?

Duck Hodges played quarterback for the Steelers. Yeah, that's what that drinks named after. It's just the most like, what? Shit ever. God damn it, that's stupid. Hey, the cheats. The challenge, you know, the, the, every bar has like a challenge of like something to eat or something.

Pictures on the wall. Picture on the wall. Yeah. It's called the Fuamata Fala fame. Nobody can say it. They just call it the foo's challenge. You got to eat like 45 wings and like 20 minutes or something like that. Damn, I'm hungry right now.

I know. I think this is why we just keep talking about it because it's like, because we're hungry. We don't even. I just want a house bar food right now at Joyce. You know what? The bar food that disappoints me the most is fried pickles. I've never been like,

no one's ever eaten the whole thing of fried pickles. There's always like 13 left when they take it away from retail. I'm like, dude. You know why? Because it has a fine, like they come out scalding hot. and then you're like oh oh that's hot you know maybe you get one down

but then you're like shit like my top of my mouth is burnt yeah so then you kind of like forget about him for a little bit and then you go back to them you're like well now these are cold and like soggy yeah it's just one fried pickle

is fine with me I just need one and then I'm good forever maybe people should look into like actually instead of like the pickle chips do like the pickle spears and it's just a Oh, fried spears.

Do a fried spear. And you just get a cup of them and they're like coming out of the top. That'd be cool. Just like five of them. Oh shit. There goes my. Wow. The light.

Oh, yeah. So they're sticking out. Okay. I like that. Dude, you know what I decided to over the weekend? Like, I'm done.

I'm done ordering for other people besides myself. What are you doing? Like, when I'm at a restaurant, there's so many times where I look and I see. like on the starters or the apps or whatever, it's like a plate of chicken tenders or like buffalo wings or something like that where I'm like,

yep, I would eat every bit of that and I would love it. But then I like go down and I like, maybe I should do like a Cuban because that's more of like a real meal or like a club sandwich or like a grilled chicken avocado sandwich or some shit like that. But just because I'm like, I'm more concerned about the waiter.

And then like the people at the table, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm not just like eating buffalo wings every meal or chicken tenders or whatever it is. Like, I'm done with that. I'm getting, I'm getting the thing that I want. I'm being true to myself at these restaurants, dude. I'm not ordering for anybody else anymore. Nah. Oh, like, like you don't want to be judged type of thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I'd go back and I'd be like, oh, maybe the Ruben rice sandwich could work with the dip. And I'm like, no. No. Yeah, you try to be all sophisticated and shit. for whoever's at the table.

But deep down, like, there's always one thing on the menu that you really want. That sometimes you don't get it because you're like, ah, the whole group of people's going to make fun of me for that. And also, they play everywhere. They play everywhere. Like, you know that it's going to be. Sometimes it's like you get a Cuban from one place, Cuban sandwich. It's phenomenal.

You get it from another place, like, eh, not that great. You get the chicken tinder platter from anywhere you go. You're walking out of there happy. And you can't fuck it up. Can't mess it up. Dude, and like people that are ashamed of, I think you lean into the chicken tender thing now.

Like it used to be like, well, chicken tender, but now just do it, dude. It's like, it's really what everybody wants when they got to eat. It's really is.

But then, yeah, but then chicken tenders and fries, like it's just fire. But then I have, yeah, you get all the different sauces and everything, you're having a great time,

right? Perfect. But then it's like an inner battle with myself too that I was like going with is, you know, because I'm like, you know what? Branch out, right? Like, try something new at this spot or try this thing that maybe you've never had and maybe it'll open up your experience.

Fuck that. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done branching out too. I'm good on that. I'm good on the branch out. I know what I like. I eat the same four things.

I can eat the same four things for any lunch or dinner probably for the rest of my life. Yeah. And I'd be fine. I'm done. And I'm going to mix it up. It's cool. One less thing to worry about. It really is.

I'll never try a new thing. Unless it's dessert, I will try new desserts. But food, I'm like, dude, salmon, chicken, fuck it. You can get funky with the desserts. Dessert, I'm like, I don't know, just bread pudding, never had it. But it sounds like I would like it. That's the recess to the meal being school. Yeah.

Recess. You go out there, you're having fun. You're being free. You got a little bit of a brief, a brief little stint to be able to do that. And then you got to lock in. You got to just do what you got to do for the other seven hours. And that's the meal. Desert is recess.

I'm a little bitch for dessert. Bread pudding, though. Yeah. Those are some bread pudding, banana pudding. Oh, banana pudding gets, they don't, it doesn't get enough glory, bro. Banana pudding with the vanilla wafers in there and the whipped cream. That needs to be like more of a thing. That is one thing that as I've gotten older, yes, I have become more of like, yeah, Bradshaw.

Oh my God, this is amazing. Banana pudding when you're a kid and when you're like older. But in between, it's like banana pudding doesn't even exist. I remember having banana pudding when I was like a fucking five-year-old and it was so good. I never touched banana pudding until like last year. With the wafers? I love it. Yeah, that's top tier dessert.

It's kind of like chicken and salad for me. Oh, see, I don't touch that, but I want to. Right. That's one of those things that I did branch out and I was like, okay, added to the list. Any place I go for a lunch, if the tenders aren't, maybe the tenders aren't tenders, maybe they're like weird like chicken bites or some shit, but they have chicken salad on there. I'm like, I'll do chicken salad sandwich. I know I'll be fine.

A little CSS. So I've been to chicken salad chick though. Oh, bro. Gift card incoming for Christmas. We're both going. Stocking. Stocking stuffer. Holding hands on the way in. Yeah, but chicken salad, I think the last time I had chicken salad, I had

like sliced up grapes in there and I was like, yo, this is good, dude. A little bit of celery all chopped up. I was like, this is fucking gas. Add in the crunch. Oh my God. Hey, then it's served on that flaky, nice croissant.

Shut up. Oh, my God. Slat my ass. Slapped my ass for some chicken salad. God damn it. Gabbitt. Sleck my ass. Godfibit.

So you're going to be home for the holidays a little bit, right? Yeah. Well, it's just for chicken salad, but yeah. It's just a little. and out touch for the chicken salad. A little CSS. We're the best.

Yeah. All right. Good. That'll be fun. We'll do some, we'll do some, uh, holiday, holiday season. We got, we, we have to hit a, uh, Johnson Schmitty. I know. We miss the fall guys.

Sorry, clubhouse. Feel bad. Feel bad. Feel bad. Feel bad. But, uh, it is like, I saw a tweet that was like, these guys don't do this very frequently. But yes, they used to do. Johnson Schmitty and I was like damn that kind of hurts a little bit yeah but I mean does not make it

better for the clubhouse like doesn't make it better for everybody when it's like you don't know when it's coming and it's not like a regular thing and then all of a sudden I's there and it's like oh wow thank God yeah yeah I like that I like that but not no one thinks that but us but um dude we used to rip those like I felt like we've done like I feel like we've done like 30 of those Yeah, and they were all like two years ago. Dude, at one point my cousins were like, how are you guys still coming up with these jokes? And I was like, I have no idea.

Yeah, it's like, you know, me being down at Alabama this past weekend, you know, like I feel like everybody was like, oh, yep, they're expecting, they're expecting. And they're like, oh, he's down there, he's going to do the, you know, and I didn't. And I didn't. because I was like, no, I'm not, I'm not just, you know, falling into this year. Like, yeah, I'm down to Alabama, but I'm not going to just do Sabin because I'm down here, you know what I mean? Ooh, oh, nice, nice. Throw a curve ball, you got to keep ball balance.

Yeah, I love the curb ball, bro. He didn't do it. That's right. Wait, wait, wait, is he done with it? Is he come? What's the only? I don't know, am I? We'll find out.

Maybe. All right. Got some good emails. this week again. Yes. Clubhouse never disappoints. Team these guys at gmail.com and we'll start off with we'll start off with Walker says pork or chicken. Subfellows my dad thought he invented tennis

which sport out of Major League Baseball NFL NBA NHL has the best postseason format can be based on fan engagement, play out of format time of year, slap my ass, stick a fork in my ear, pull it out, and force feed me earwax. I love it. Why are they all so good? I'll say the NFL has the best postseason format, and I'll say that the time of year is

Major League Baseball. Because it's October, like, you know, it's getting cold out there. You see the breath on the players kind. Everybody's bundled up the crowd. The players is insane. I love that. It's like pitch black at like 4.30 first pitch when they're playing at New York. Like freezing old.

Yeah. That is that is not. And dude, the the crowd is packed. Packed. Never see it like that. And you're just like, what? Right. Going crazy.

It's like on the background of the Halloween party that you're at, you know? Yeah, just for what? All right. Like some guy who's dressed as like a ref And you're Michael Myers And another guy's like a fucking Blockbuster worker or something And you guys are all just standing there

Like idiots and you're like Oh, chicken in on you know The Cardinals and the Phillies It's just like a nice little background thing to have on I like it when they're playing at Boston In Boston for some reason Yeah, everything's all green And it's just so packed out dude

And they're always in it And I'm like dude, here we go again I'm gonna watch. And it's never like, it's at those like Halloween parties or like harvest parties, you know, because some people have done here.

Right, it's not a Halloween party. It's like just for fall where you got all the fall shit. It's like never on in the main setting. It's always like in the garage. Side room. Side room.

Dude, the garage. You like go out there to get a refill. Yeah. It's just like John Smoltz on the call. You take in a few pitches and you're like, man, Boston's always a tough out.

And then you walk back into the party. Yeah, you do give it like seven minutes in the garage. You're like, man, the green monster, right? I'm out of here. Boom. But then NFL, the format, I mean, one and done. It's not that long. Like, it starts in January.

It ends a month later. Like, the NBA, it's like three months of playoffs. You're like, this thing isn't even dramatic. Like, I don't even care anymore, you know? Yeah, I like that was the one done on the road, anybody kind of has a chance. I like the best thing about the NFL playoffs, dude.

Why do I love wild card so much? Dude, wild card games, I'm like, ooh, this is like sexy for some reason. Because anything can happen, man. I love that shit. Wild card on a Saturday. It's like the Vikings. I'm like, yo, just,

That's why. That's why, because it's on a Saturday. Anything on a different day, I'm like, fuck, this hits. Yeah, man, that is wild card week. It's all, I mean, it's just, it doesn't get better. It doesn't get better. Like, Wild Card weekend is obviously insane. There's always some crazy shit going down, Saturday games. But then the divisional round, when it's like the eight best teams in the league,

and you get two games on Saturday, two games on Sunday. insane on the Sunday night one slaps dude it's almost like Super Bowl caliber AFC championship is almost the Super Bowl every year yeah I'm like this is the Super Bowl Divisional Round and Championship Sunday are way better than the Super Bowl It's true

NFC Championship I don't think I've ever even watched it I'm like I don't even know like yeah I never care about it unless it's like the Rams and the Buccaneers and it's like the year 2002. It is interesting. I was thinking about that how, where you grow up and the team that is the market that you're in

or the team that you root for, how that affects you're viewing because us growing up in Indianapolis and the prime of the Colts and then obviously with the Steelers for both of us, you a lot less than me. But like what I'm saying is that like CBS was always, you know,

that's what majority. the games were on. You cared about the AFC championship because that's the conference of your team. Yeah, and the NFC was always like

Fox and it's over there and who are the, you know what I mean? Like, oh, we'll see you in the Super Bowl kind of deal. Yeah.

So I wonder if it's the same way for people who grew up you know, fucking 49ers fans. They're like CBS. What the hell? You know? I know.

I know. I do think that. But I don't know, man. Just every NFC game for me. I was always just like, oh. It just felt like I was just watching the like Eagles and Cowboys every single weekend.

I was just like, dude, I don't care about these teams anymore. But I do love Duke Staley. How about when it works out to where, you know, one of them is like the NFC title is being played at 630, but it's been playing on the West Coast and the AFC Championships being played at 3.30, but it's being played on the East Coast. And so it's like, it's 4 o'clock.

in January and the AFC championship is being played in New England and it's already pitch black dark out but then

when you switch over from that and then you're watching the NFC title game in San Francisco and it's still fucking light out you know it throws me man it's so weird that I hate that too

um another another playoff like end of the year format that I like that is probably like not popular is March Madness. Just because it's so fucked up.

And I just love the chaos. Like what? It's like doesn't make any sense the way that you can just get beat in the first round and you're the best team. But like that that's why I like it. Fuck it. And then the fact that there's like 18 games

in the first two, like that first Thursday and Friday there's literally like you don't even party. You can't even keep in control. I mean you can't even keep up with everything that's going on. That's, yeah, I like it.

All right, from Ray. Question for Joey and Ben. My name is Ray, long-time clubhouse listener from Central PA, but I live in California now. Ben, we'll try to make one of your shows in L.A. Joe, we love you have to do a West Coast show. At work, we love to debate about most random fucking sports jerseys to show up at a sports game or party. I've bred for a Vikings jersey or a Greg Oden Blazers or any shack that isn't a Lakers magic heat. I have a jimmer for that, Sacramento, King's jersey, and a.

Baltimore Orioles Sammy Sosa jersey. No, I've never heard of that. My question is, what would be your dream go-to, must-have fucky sports jersey? Slap my ass in a pair of Brett Farb Wrangler jeans and slow-cooking me like a hog with a red apple stuff in my mouth. Love the shah. Also, my dad thinks he came up with the idea of cashless events.

Quote, I told you that they were going to do that 20 years ago. Cashless, dude. Card only. It's going to be eventually, no more cash. No more of this stuff, man. Hey, what year is it, huh? Ah, man, dream Fucky jersey.

Um, fucky. Fucky is the one that'll get me. Like, does he mean fucky by like, a player on a team that shouldn't be on that team? The one you don't think of type of thing? Yeah, yeah.

Damn, man. How about a, this is an old one? How about a Jim McMahon Packers jersey? Dude, I can't even think about who Jim McMahon is right now. He's the Bears quarterback on the 85 Bears. Oh, is that the dude who wore a headband? Yeah.

That's so crazy. Players that wore headbands under their helmets, I'm like, dude, I've tried it and it doesn't work. Obviously, I tried it around my house. In like 6th grade, I put a headband on and tried to put my football island over it. And I was like, yo, my brain's going to explode. we had a few guys who did the Dion. They tried to wear bandanas in high school and they did

and our trainer got so pissed. I don't know if it was just because it was like not team, you know what I mean? It wasn't like everybody was doing it or if it was a legitimate health concern, I don't know. Probably the former knowing where we went to high school and how high school football coaches are. It did look cool but they only got to do it like fuck, dude. They only got to do it for one game.

Very cool. You get a white one for a way? Yeah, our school colors were red and blue And so they're both like defensive backs And so one of them had a red one And one of them had a blue one Dude, that is so That's the coolest shit that our eye school's ever done that

Yeah, and then it got axed after like one half Because again the trainer I think he under the guise of safety He just didn't like that it was like individuality You know Yeah, you're getting a concussion from a piece of cloth it is like sliding around in there I don't fucking get out of here man

that's that that looks good uh fucky jersey um maybe like a Dennis Rodman Spurs I would like that I would like that that would look good and also falls into the fucky category for sure

uh from Travis makeout this is from Travis and Flagstaff the subject was just makeout Yeah. Yes. Hey guys, love the show. I'm a bit late to the party, but Jimbo Fisher and Nick Saban need to make out.

They should start every SEC championship game at the 50-yard line with them making out. Please dump Sini-Mini-Icing from BK all over me and spank me until the call-it's come home. I just feel like they just... That's a good one. It's a good make-out. Sini-Many-Icing. That's some shit. I think up before I go to bed.

That's an absolute throwback right there. manys from Joey NF Airlines and a bus question you know how the airport has that little display where you can check the size of your luggage to make sure it fits in the overhead at NF Airlines it's just a tiny first down chains

that they come and slowly stretch across your back yes yeah if it fits they're like that's what I'm talking about hey no bro we need to build that And then he said, would you take a cross-country bus ride if the bus was the old Madden Cruiser? You don't get any updated technology, but on the other hand, it's a Madden Cruiser. Slap my ass once and look out at the audience like, Hulk Hogan asking, should I do it again?

And the crowd was like, do it. And then you slap it again cartoonishly. And I love that shit. The fact that just he knew it was called the Madden Cruiser is so funny. Everybody knows, like, was that, wait, did that? Yeah, that was on. On Sundays, they would take that everywhere. Yeah, he was terrified of flying.

So he just, they like absolutely terrified of flying. So he never did it. So he just bust everywhere. And it became a thing to where like, you know, his bus was the cruiser. And it was just all, you know, it was like fully livable, all that. I feel like that had like crazy technology in it. So you wouldn't need new tech. For the time.

Probably had like 2024 tech in there for 100%. And yeah. You think Pat Somerall was just rolling with them? or is Summerall flying? Nah, I think Summerall's flying day in, day of. Just thinking about this shit. It's the stupid room. Joe, you listen to the pod.

You obviously know that we would do that a million percent. Oh, no way. Anyways. God, that's so good. Me and my dad went on a brainstorm soon as for like an hour and a half about NF Airlines after last week.

NU. Oh, yeah. It should be a thing. Big time. We were talking all like, You know, how they go about it internationally and how they can like... He mentioned... Of course, you're bad.

Fucking always thinking internationally, dude. Hey, I feel so bad for the wives on that airline. All right, let me... I got to pull this back up a little bit because we went through a bunch of stuff. But I think it was good. I think it was worth it. Yeah, NF Airlines. Here we go.

I said, yeah, start off maybe overseas games, try to make it easier, more enticing to go, then come domestic, maybe even only for games in Vegas, Miami, L.A. And he said, yeah, maybe get a former player to be the VIP during some of the flights who goes section to section for picks and autographs. Like he talked about with the jets, right? Yeah, and I said, like, the Steelers Legends cruise

because they've invited me on that a couple times, but they do a cruise where it's like put on by the Steelers with one of their cruise partnerships and it's in the offseason and like current former players like go on the vacation with him and whatnot. He's like start overseas then focus on vacation locations

then focus on historic traditional locations like Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Dallas. Oh, green bay. I think, yeah, let's see. Low-key Packers podcast. Showing our true colors here. He's like, I still think the NFL would be smart to make every team play their 17th game

at a neutral location either overseas or in an area though. be a vacation site or something London, Paris, Germany, Rome, Barcelona, Mexico City, Melbourne, Tokyo. Wait, why? Because he's just saying like that's just another way to

get new audience and Tokyo's been crazy. Oh. Absolutely. All right, from Kenny, another Kenny here. Yeah. Other way, Kenny Moore, dude. What a game.

Hey, football guy. you're pulling it update we're gonna do we're gonna do the Politi update every week and you're gonna give us the rundown and your three favorite games that's it that's it this week it's just yo can't anymore

Indiana 500 alum that's true what's going on fellas you're usually listener to the show Sega fan email going back to last week's pot I can't remember my dad believing he invented anything but my uncle swore he had the original idea for tender

and other hookup websites so pervy His would have been called the Vajadar. Also, so uncle. Jesus. Lira uncle's so weird, no matter what. I just find that guy for you for Frankie, so okay.

Yeah, yeah. I'll keep that in mind. Also, I would most definitely want Brian Cushing to be my personal bodyguard. Dude is an absolute animal. Random 2000s athletes with a badass name, Coco Crisp. Oh! I mean, that's just no way that's real. and also how is that not an actual cereal?

I don't understand. I think it is. Cocoa Krispies, right? But yeah, whenever they said his name on like ESPN, I was just like, fuck, dude. They hit it so hard. Coco Crisp. I can just picture John Anderson saying it.

Anyways, slap my ass harder than Mel Kuiper bobbles his head. It's pretty hard. Oh, this is from Blaze. Nice. There's the name. mispronounced words. That's the subject. Hey, Benny and Jojo. You guys may have covered this topic before, but I was curious as to what your thoughts were about people purposefully mispronouncing random objects around them.

I have a friend who always pronounces milk as milk. And while I don't think he does it on purpose, he's got to know that right pronunciation, right? Also I have a coworker who says Jeremy instead of our boss's actual name, Jeremy. Okay, so your co-worker's been then. Yep, I work with you. I understand regional accents. Sorry, thing, but I can't be the only one slightly mad inside at this. Let me know your thoughts. Hide under the church for you and smack my ass during communion. Dude, I just want a compilation of all the smack my asses.

Those are becoming like, those are like just the reason people email in is just to write those. I don't blame them. It's great. I'm about to start doing it. They just start emailing our own website or our longer. They're longer than the body of the email. Should be. Mispronounce words.

I mean, your dad is a kid. king of this. Bro, I had a whole Twitter thread at one point. I remember this. The one that the one that broke me was Kinney Garden.

I would kill him. I would kill him. No D. Kenny. Kinney. I was like, what is, what the fuck? Like,

you have to have like a brain malfunction to like do that over and over. I was like, I just can't even look at you in the face anymore.

I hate you. I have to kill you. That's Coach Pete. Stroke meter. He was stroking out. No, stroking out for the good. Yeah. I ran into a girl here doesn't say mustache, mustache.

She says moose. Yeah, like on accident. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Say mustache. And she was like, mustache. And then she went right back to mustache. And I was like, I can't help you. Oh, lost cause.

mustache I don't have I don't have a lot of mispronunciations I have my mom putting totally wrong words in the wrong setting that's a good

what is that called she she gets too she gets going too quick and her mouth like can't keep up and so sometimes just some random ass fucking stuff comes out I gotta know man give me an example

I'm trying like they just I need the fat I might have to text my sister But there's some Like she'll put words that are supposed to be at the end of the sentence At the beginning like kind of at the beginning You know what I mean? Like

It's just all sorts of crazy And then my dad's just the king of the miss The miss The miss emphasis He's the king of the mis emphasis You know So like everybody would say Like everybody says like you know

All hell dude Oh dude King of mis emphasis It'll be like strawberry. Yes. Instead of the Pittsburgh Steelers, it's the Pittsburgh Steelers. Dude, there's nothing better than that, dude. Always.

Hail the king. Has no idea. He doesn't know. He died. And it's absolutely insane. And I'm always, literally, I'll stop. Be like, what? Popcorn.

What was that? Yeah, we get some popcorn. We, that we get some popcorn. Huh? Staying right. That's crazy, dude. Your dad and your mom talking. I just need a phone call.

Three-way call, but I'm silent the whole time. Just going over to their house for dinner is just, it's just a night of entertainment in itself because you have the king of misemphasis, the fucking queen of misplacement. Word misplacement and king. Misplacement and Mr. Emphasis. What a show that would be.

Oh my God, I would watch the shit out of that. And it's like they're pretty young parents. Like they're only in their early 50s. I'm like, what the hell is going to happen to you guys when you're 75? Youngest parents of all time, never forget it. When you're in fourth grade, I was like, okay, that's that guy's in eighth grade and it's Joey's dad. What is going on here? Youngest parents ever.

All right. Last one here from Travis. finished on a good one here because it says Season's greetings oh yeah nice Travis says hello boozhounds

long time listener first time emailer just want to say that I love the pod and love listening to your guys stories about Catholic school as someone who has never really attended church in general they are hilarious I usually listen on my drive to school and hearing the most obscure sports names

and all the Jersey talks makes my commute much better I appreciate the commentary and the Moldard Minute it's also Joey I'm a fellow Steelers fan and Matt can't the hater. Very good. Here's the name that was somehow slipped through the cracks. Whitney Merciless from the Texans.

Oh, that kind of. Whitney Merciless. He was like a hybrid. Yeah, he was like a DB that was too slow to be DV but not big enough to be a linebacker. So he's kind of just like in the, he was like a box safety. Throw him in the nickel package.

Yeah, he says this guy had no choice, but to fill the B gap as a career. It's crazy. Crazy football knowledge. Stuff me full of pee-p. And then carve me like rotissue chicken from Kroger. That's a boy. Whitney Merciless.

See, my dad would say, my dad would say like Whitney Mercilis or something like that. Yeah. Jalen Waddle. My dad called him Jalen Waddell for, he's still done. It's just Wadell. I'm like, all right, dude.

can't believe that it's actually just waddle like a penguin he's like that has to be wadet asked to change it waddle put wadell back there I'm like dude no they wouldn't put them at running back but wadell back there I think they would I'm like all right that would be a total mismatch for mercilis Silas and wadel dude yeah that's I want to see that one on one All right, man

What Do you got any shows coming up out there for people to go see? Hold on, I got one more thing Also football players with girl names Always pretty good Whitney Rosilis There's a couple more that I can't think of right now Yeah, yeah

Shannon Sharp There you go Might want to keep that one in mind dude if you got another boy coming up name them Ashley or something he's league battle I swear

the football players with girl names go crazy maybe that's wait what's our clubhouse question and then we'll get out of here it's a what the bar was going to be named what the sports bar

what the sports bar is going to be named yeah or yeah that's pretty good we'll just rock with that what's the sports bar name in the comments, email us, shows out here right now. It's just kind of like day by day. I'm just kind of picking them up where I can.

So check on Instagram if you're out here in LA and I'll post where I'm going and what I'm doing. But yeah, being indie this week. Sweet. Good. I hope to see there. Yeah, TV These Guys at Gmail.com. Look forward to those every week. And yeah, give us some, for those people who haven't rated us, you know, hit that.

so we can keep climbing and, you know, letting people want to get in on the clubhouse and send it to four of your friends. And when you send it to them, send it to them with a random 90s NFL player and let them know what's up. So, cool. All right. Dorsey 11s.

Bye, bye. These guys. Let's see it. These guys.