THESE GUYS! - Blow Up the Wedding Party Bus

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

On this ep the burpy bois realized Frosted Flakes is the Alabama of cereal⭐️ 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 & 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 ��𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦Rochester, NY - May 9-10 https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1229938Las Vegas, NV - May 24 https://www.wiseguyscomedy.com/nevada/las-vegas/arts-district/e/benedict-polizziNashville, TN - June 13-14 https://www.etix.com/ticket/e/1051364/2025-benedict-polizzi-nashville-the-lab-at-zaniesBaltimore, MD https://www.magoobysjokehouse.com/shows/317128

That room before the wedding is so insane. There's a bouncy ball. One of your friends is bouncing on a ball. Has an airplane shot. Dude, drink the rest of this. Not bad for a fat guy. Ooh. He's got that shit on, though.

Does he have that shit on? 133. TG. 133. And it's Joy Joy, Joy, Fashion show week. Get up. Turn around. before we do anything. Not pushing ticks till I see that ass.

Okay, let's set the scene here for the clubhouse. These guys clubhouse on YouTube watch so you can see what I got on. You're gonna want to see it. First off, got the Homefield

Indy 500 bomber jacket just came in the mail wearing it every single day this month. Don't care if it's 95 degrees on carb day. I will be wearing it. You see me at the track. I'll be wearing it.

I just want to... The guy that made that... The guy that came up with that jacket right when he thought about it, I just want that video footage. Him in his living room. So true. Thriller laugh.

Oh, dude. Bringing the thriller laugh back for that one. Bro, the colors. Come on. Oh, it's everywhere. It's popping. I mean, I'll turn around a little bit. I'll turn around a little bit and show you the back.

Thank God. Finally get to see this guy's ass. Crazy drip. Can't tell. where this guy's from. That's the thumbnail this week. Just the back of my, the back of my jacket.

Hey. Piazza? We out here. Let's talk. Best go T and baseball? No, sports podcast. Let's push Tickeys.

Rochester, New York, May 9th and 10th. Hey, that's Friday. Las Vegas, May 24th, Nashville, Tennessee, June 13th, 13th and 14th, just had a stroke.

And just added, Baltimore, Maryland, September, 25th. East Coast. Get your tickeys. Bennypolizi.com. Go the link right underneath.

Crab cakes. Crab cakes and football. That's what Benny does. Yeah, so then real quick, funny little note on this hat here. Okay. This is something that I got. I was at Rev Indy on Saturday night.

That's the event that kicks off the month of May at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Shout out to James Hinchcliff for getting me the tickets. Appreciate you, big dog. Sick. for the event. Rev? Come on.

Rev. Right. Or reving up. We're revved up posted that. All good. And so they have a whole bunch of vendors and everything there, right? They got vendors of all the restaurants in Indy. They got all the drinks in indie.

Vendors, booths, everything. They have also like local shops. So I go up to one of these shops. I see hats. You guys know me, Clubhouse. Benny, you know me. Hat guy. Always been a hat guy.

I see hats. I flock to them like a mosquito flocking to the light. on your front porch, you know? Mm-hmm. Just running into that shit. Totally. So me and Rye go up and, lo and behold,

the guy running the booth, he's there running the booth with his wife, one of Benny's old college buddies, a fellow named Shane. Dude, no way. That's how you got that pick? Yeah. That's amazing.

He's an OG. Yeah. I know. So he came up to me because I went to the booth first and then I went away and then he came out to me. He's like,

dude, I thought that was you, Shane. So we talked. And then I went back, me and Ryan, I was like, I think I need to check out those hats again. So I go back and I check them out. They have a whole bunch of different. They make them right there. So they had just this base hat, right?

Then the patch, right? There's a whole bunch of different patches that you can get. And I settled on this one. It says indie. It's got the indie car on it, right? Straightforward. Very me. But what's it called?

Name stitched on the side? I heard my signature on the side. Yep. Just hashtag not bad for a fat guy actually on the back. Burpy boy. Across the buckle across the back on that arch. Shubby face with a line through it. Oh, that's kind of merch, new merch, new merch, new merch.

By the way, get all your merch, benedictmerch.com. So it's good to see Shane, him and his wife. He was just helping her. His wife's got a kick ass, a little setup. Holly. Holly H-H-A-W-L-E-Y. 500 fan. If you just want some cool custom hats, go check them out. But yeah, so those are a fun little, that's the hat. That's the hat. That's the hat. So ran into one of your boys.

And then callback from last week. Are you ready? To hear it. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. He's got layers. How sweaty is he, though? Ooh, that's nice. Nice trim on the sleeves. Hey, you got to subscribe to YouTube to see these fits. Insane. I'm not sweaty because call back to two or three episodes ago when you were like summer, is it summer? I think it's summer. I was like, dude, you know first week of May it's going to be like 48 degrees and paste raining. That was what was happening over the weekend. And it's not that today as we record on Monday,

but it's still like you can definitely get away with wearing a bomber jacket to lunch, which I just did. So it's chilly, had the fit. I told you I'd show you this week. Here's the jersey from the pro shop that I snagged before Pacers game two against the bucks. What's on the back? Yeah, we're rolling. Just the back.

Oh, nice. Okay, that's good. That's good. That's good. Didn't know if sometimes they ruin the back, you know. You never know with the back of stuff. I got got a couple times at the pro shop with the back of something. And I'm like, oh, wow.

And I check it out. And then I look at the back and I'm like, can't do it. Can't do it. At least you caught it though. You caught it in time. I've been at checkout. And I'm like, oh, my God. I didn't see there's a huge rose on the back of this shirt.

What do you do in that situation? You just keep going? You check out with it and you just never wear it or you just take it back? I'm just like, I'm going to put this back. And they're like, we'll take care of it. And they put it behind them.

Then I feel bad. Dude, working in retail makes me, I feel bad in every store I go to. And when I unfold a shirt, I'm like, I think about that too, because I fold it and I fold it so badly.

And I think I'm doing it, but I'm just doing it how I do it home. And I should know because I'm like, you know, my wife hates. I can't even fold her clothes. She's like, just don't even,

just don't. she's like, I appreciate the gesture, but just don't. Yeah, okay, that's fair. I switch my folds. Like, I used to be a, I used to be like a folded in half guy. Now I'm a fold it down the center, dude. I don't know what switched in me, but I'm like, the center looks so. I'm doing this a lot.

Just bang. Banging them out, dude. So it's the sleeves tucked, sleeves tucked, flip it in the center. Is that how you do it? That's how I do it because Rye, because I used to be. half guy too. You know, like I was folding like a hot dog piece of paper. Construction paper. That might be the move still, man. Bring back half folds. It always felt right to me, but she said, I don't know, it's, I just took her word for it.

She was like, if you folded the, if you do the, if you do the center cut, it doesn't wrinkle as much. It folds better. Like it lays better that way. I was like, yeah, okay. Adult science fair, bro. Yeah. This could go in there. You know what? Still, third. 31 years old, be 32 this summer. Still have no idea how to hang out dress pants. Oh, yeah. Not an old guy podcast, but you got to hang them by the ankles, I think. Hang them by the ankles.

It's go, man. What's going on with that? I still can't figure it out. You got to get pinch your hangers and hang them by the ankles. By the ankles? No, dude. My dad always does the waist, but he doesn't do it how you wear him. he pulls him in the other direction.

So instead of having them out wide, like hip to hip, it's like bone to junk or something. And because they all have that fine line down the middle of them, you know? The dress pants. You folding it on the seam? On the seam, yeah. Dude, I still can't figure it out. All my dress pants.

I wear them one time. So screwed. So just see you. Just stop going to dress pants events. I tried to. the seam. Yeah. And I think,

I think lay them in half on the hanger. I don't know what I'm talking about. Somebody kill me. Yeah. And a bow and arrow. I just,

these guys are talking about laundry. Hot first 15 minutes. Coming out, coming out swinging with the old dress pants fold. I mean, these are questions we need to know. How are you guys doing it?

How are you guys doing it? Comment below. No idea. No idea. So that's where I just like, you know, I try to go with the, I try to go with the more casual dress pan, the kind of golf pant that it's like, it's kind of like athletic leisure wear in a little bit, you know? Hey, what's your thoughts on, let's just keep going while we're at it actually. What's your thoughts on gray, gray pants? Like with what occasion? Like a like a formal, like a like a like a, like a dinner party to formal party. Gray and gray pants.

gray used to be my number one favorite color like freshman year of college I was grayed out dude charcoal gray pants oh me too like you can't go wrong with gray some people are like I don't like that gray I'm like you can't miss with gray

you can't all the shades are gas every single one you get the the light gray who's mad charcoal gray that's like kind of hot you can't but I don't know man it just now I think it looks it looks kind of dry

I'm like, throw some black, white, or way more popping than gray to me now. Also goes with everything, though. Mm-hmm. Like, I've never had, I know black and white do as well, but gray, it's just, it's neutral. It's right there. You can wear gray dress pants with any color shirt, with any color jacket, and you're good to go. But I feel like maybe clubhouse can help us out. Maybe the burpee girls out there can help us out or the ladies of a clubhouse.

Like my wife, for instance, can't stay. Anytime I put on gray pants, she's like, do you really not have anything else besides gray? Like, she'd rather me wear khaki than gray. I'm like khaki? I don't know.

Like going to geometry in second period? What? Kaki's kind of nice. Kaki's kind of nice. It's got a little flavor to it, a little zest. Yeah, I had a,

I had a whole, before Rev on Saturday. I had a whole breakdown. Had a whole, I was trying five different things and, and Ride didn't like any of them because initially this is what I pitched.

This is what I pitched. Pitchly for wardrobe pitch meeting? Yeah. Hey, there's a lot of gray area there. Got to get them out. Because I got this jacket. And so I'm like, you know, going to rev this, this $80,500 event, right,

for all the clubhouse out there at the track. I'm like, let me wear some gray dress pants, a plain shirt underneath and a bomber jacket. dude, I'll look dope. Like, it'll be cool. It'll be a little bit of a flavor, you know? It's not just like I'm going to homecoming or prom or something. But Ride did not like it.

She did not like that look. I would have swapped you out. I would have swapped you out for khaki pants. I've been on Rise team for that. I can see it in my head, dude. Cacky pants is giving a little more pop. I don't know if it's just because we went to Catholic school a whole life. And I'm like,

khaki pants, bro, that's just, that's uniform. That's Tuesday at school. I'm in Channel 1. Hey, it looked kind of good though. School pants? Still not over him. And now that's come fully back for you where you can wear, you probably pull out the ones from RHS-09

because the cargo khaki pants are back in order, back in fashion. Old Navy cargo pants, $35. Get them at the mall. on a Thursday because yours got ripped the day before in P.E. Easy money. You want to go into every other store in the mall, but your mom's like, I gave you $60,

buy two pairs of pants and come home. You're like, bah. Got to. Got to go to a foot locker and wreck all the shirts on display. I got to look at the Jordan Basic shorts and take a picture of it and put it on Instagram. Basics.

All right. This is a peer into 2013 Ben right there. What Instagram used to be to what it is now. Take a picture of a palm tree with a filter on it. Now like my ass has to be in it. Instagram in 2009, Instagram in 2025. Now I'm shaking my ass completely naked. Yeah, yeah.

But, you know, it all worked out. I wore the, I want the, I want the black baggy dress pants, some black boots and a white dress shirt and a black jacket. And, you know, I was just plain Jane. We need that. Do you got a fit pick? We need to throw that in post. Yeah, I got a fit pick. I'll throw it.

I'll throw it to you. But Rye will probably be in it too. So I don't know. I'll probably have to get a sign off on that. It's all good. It's all good. Can't wait for you to ask. Hey, do you care like if that's such a...

See, like we're talking about our fit Like that's so uncomfortable But that's why I can't ever get married Yeah, sometimes way more often than I should Probably I think about just how It would ever work if you were married And I'm just like it just not It's just not meant to be

There he gets it, he gets it Thank God This guy looks like Jerry Rice out here Yeah Just just not in the cards man That's all right you know Hey, you know what? You know your role.

Yeah, there's something to be said for the seventh guy off the bench who knows. And not they're the seventh guy off the bench, but it's just, it's important for guys knowing their role in the lineup of, hey, I'm going to go in there. I know who I am. I'm in here to crash the boards and to set good screens and to be a physical presence. I'm not out here to score. I'm not out here to do anything flashy. I'm going to give you probably about 11 minutes. and that's what I'm doing.

You know your role. You know your role. By the way, not a sports podcast, but crashing the boards, nothing sounds better than that. Hey, remember to box out, that guy on St. Mark, he can crash the boards.

I remember our assistant coach said that to me. I was like, God, I'm in for a long game, dude. That dude crashes the boards like crazy. I was like, fuck. How am I going to handle this, dude? Crash in the boards. Yeah, that's,

dude, you know that guy. Hey, nobody crashes the board It's harder than a linebacker or safety Who plays basketball Who because they're not basketball players They play basketball I wasn't talking about Drew Exley or anything like that But yeah

It's those guys you got to be worried about Man I know he's not playing basketball in high school So he's going to be going crazy on defense and rebounding All game sweaty Nobody sweats me more than a football guy just randomly playing basketball. Hey, picking you up full court. Dude.

I know you're like training for football, but can you just chill out, dude? Hey, garden you like this? I'm not even the shooter. Hey, how about when you got that compliment? That, like, that compliment that wasn't even a compliment, the other guys on the other team, you get the ball, they'd be like, shooter. You'd be like, oh, for real? Fuck.

Right, yeah, just because you hit your first two shots. They saw you, they saw you during a tournament, hit one three. Oh, dude, we got to get up in that guy's face. No, it's worth it. Rush to judgment. Yeah. You ever had somebody, though? Yeah, like when you don't even have the ball, they pick you up like three-quarters court.

That was me doing that. I, the coaches made me do that because I was this size in eighth grade and shit. You guard them. God damn, man. All right. Yeah, dude. It was fun though when you play that. Like, that's a special role when you're, one, crashing the boards guy,

but two, when you're like the defensive specialist guy on basketball, it's a pretty high honor. You know, you got a good player on your hands when your coach is like, boxing one. Dude, boxing one was my shit. I was like, this is something I can understand. Yeah. I always drew those assignments too.

Like we play like Michael Ramey. We'd be playing Perry. And it'd be like, hey, you don't even have to take a shot or shoot at all, Joey. Just like, you know, beyond him, like white on rice. It was tough, too. The moment you start daydreaming hits a three. Yeah. Getting yelled at.

Everybody's mad at me. My dad's shaking his head. I want to go home. I want to go home and play Madden. All for seventh grade basketball. Mm-hmm. Never forget. Yeah.

Not a reminiscent podcast, though, or sports podcast. No, I would never crashing the board I'm bummed you're not going to be back here I'm in this dude I'm in it obviously as you K if you can't tell I'm ready to go for the month of May man

and I'm bummed that you're not going to be here I was thinking about sliding home but who knows I'll keep you posted I'll let you know 13 minutes before I get there see the problem is you had that show in Vegas the day before the race so that weekend's that weekend shot

it's all about the it's all about the weekend You know, you already know that. So it's all about coming back on the dates that aren't the real dates. That's true. You always have more. Hey, you know, you'd be proud of me. Me and Rye, we were at the event on Saturday.

It was like 945. We'd been there since 6.30. Kids were out already at home. Could have definitely stayed till midnight. We just packed it up and went home. Ooh. Baller move. We've had enough.

Bye. Hey, Irish goodbye too. Yeah, luckily there wasn't anybody there. Like, we were just there together. We weren't with like a big group or anything. So it was just peace. Nobody's better. No problem.

Nobody's better at the Irish goodbye. It's a skill. Do we have the origin on that? What, the Irish goodbye? Yeah. Um, who started it? I don't know, Brady Quinn or something. No, that's Lou Holtz.

I'd tell you what, I just about had it with this body I'm going home. Just gets up and leaves. Why are they called Irish goodbye? Lou Holtz, bro. You didn't know? Yeah, dude, Coach Holtz, he would just leave at the third quarter of his own game. We don't see Coach Holtz on the sideline. Such a good announcer voice, bro.

God dang. It's third and ten. Third and ten. It's just me channeling my inner rigstrall. I had lunch with one of our TG origins today. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Bro showed up 30 minutes late. Who's not?

Reverse Irish goodbye. Your timing is so, so messed up, dude. What do you mean? Ben's internal clock. I just have, I can't even begin to wrap. my head around Ben's internal clock. Always like six minutes late. Hey, yeah, I'll be over at three.

Cool. 257. Leaving coach peas. Shit happens, dude. All right. See at four. I got this thing where I don't, I think I can get everywhere in 15 minutes

no matter where I am. And I like, it's like a delusional thing. Because it's worked like once and now I'm like, yeah, I can get anywhere in 15 minutes. Anywhere. You know,

you know what's interesting? is the difference in your mind where if you're like, ah, I got 15 minutes to get there. You're like, I'm good. You get in the car, by the time you walk to your car, get in your car, you got 13 minutes. That difference between 15 minutes and 13 minutes. When I see I have to be somewhere at 3 and it's 245, I'm like, I'm good. 247. Oh, shit, this is a problem.

I'm late. I got to text him. I'm late. Right. I'm getting hot. No music. That would be locked in, dude. we're shaving off seconds all we can get every move counts uh yeah it's like but it's like the time

you look at i always look at the oven clock when i'm getting ready to leave i don't know why i don't look at my phone it's always the stove like stove top like that's like my home clock what's your home clock, dude. Stovetop to me is always off. I've never had a stove top clock that's on. Not not like, no, not like off. I'm just saying like stove clock, I'll look at my phone. It'll be 244. I'll look at stove clock. It's like 248. Huh? I think the stove clock is it though, bro. I think the stove clock's, that's a sun dial. No, the stove clock, it gets messed up every single year because it's when you got to change it for the daylight savings. You know, you're always like, oh shit, I got to do that. You either never change it. it or you go and you look at it and you're like yeah what time is it you look at your phone you're

like oh okay so then you always like I never really round up because like well by the time that I get to the actual number it's gonna be you know what I mean so it's always off by a minute or two or three yeah you ever you ever get in that battle where you got to sink up this stove top clock and the microwave clock and you're like I was caught in that trap so many times as a kid that's I think that was half of my childhood just got it but then I'd always always look at it and be in between that little moment where I like hesitated. I'm like, God damn it. Just trying to sink up the clocks. What'd you do all day? Sink up the clocks. Yeah, that's my house scoreboard. House scoreboard? Oven. Yeah. I make sense.

That's what I'm looking at. But it's like you, you peep the oven before you leave. And then you're like, okay, I need to leave the house at 11. It's 10.59 on the oven. Cool. You, get to your car, 11-07. I'm like, what? What happened? Because you also had to change your car clock when the daylight savings happened, and that didn't match up either.

Because you're just like, just get me in, when it's happening, you're like, just get me in the vicinity. Just get me in the vicinity. Yeah. Give me in the five-minute window. Right. And then that's inevitably when it messes up.

There's 10 minutes. There's 10 minutes somewhere. From leaving your front door to getting your car, there's a 10 minute time warp. That just happens. Well, because yeah, you got to get in there. You got to turn your car on.

You got to let your car connect to Bluetooth. You got to figure out what song you're playing, what playlist you're playing. Are you playing a podcast? What are you doing? Nothing. I would listen to sports radio. I've given up.

Me too. When I'm late, when I'm late, you know, when it's like that, when it's in that 13 minute time frame instead of the 15 minute, I just get in the car, hit radio, get on some sports talk. I'm like, I don't got time. I just need, I need the, I need the, I need the HVAC commercials and just guys talking about lists because I don't have time to look at choose what I want to listen actively to on the way here.

I've never, I feel like I only go sports radio no matter what. I don't care where we're going. We're going to a rap concert, local ESPN radio. Dude, you just don't have to think about anything when you're listening to it. I just want nothing. No distraction. I can't listen to a rap song. What?

I'm like this way too much. It's ridiculous. It's perfect. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous picking songs. Like picking the playlist, picking what you're going to play. Because you can't just go to a whole library

because then you just find yourself, you're just clicking. You're just clicking for 30 minutes until you get there. Like, I don't even listen to one song. But then you find one song you want to listen to and you just play that. Then it's just on repeat. And then I go, okay, well, now I got to figure something else out. I got to go to a different block here.

What am I going to do? The chore of being the song picker in the car. I don't wish that on anybody, dude. Top five hardest jobs that aren't real jobs. That'd be an interesting list. Yeah. Also, when you're going to... Go ahead.

I know you're going to say it. Say it. I was just going to say when you're in a car with people that, like, you know, but you don't know, no. Hey. So you're putting on for them. Wedding party bus. you better prep dude hey not even night before

I'm talking two nights before get it something together because you're on you're on the spot babe you're the DJ that's an absolute no-win situation I've been that guy and I've

butchered it dude well because it goes look I mean in all reality it's about the happy couple no dude it's about the girls always if the girls in the wedding party are given funky stink faces

and aren't like throwing their arms up in the air you're done you're done you got to go on to the next thing you got to just you got to just maybe go on to the next thing you just have to literally cater to that audience it's 95% Roscoe Dash it's fine you can get by with that you really can't I figured out a little hack

but he's got like three songs and that's it after three songs I was like fumbling yeah sir wrongs Swift. Have you met Sir Ron Song? Why is his name's their wrong song? I don't get it.

Well, he was on our Bachelor party thing. He was just like playing a lot of weird stuff. Playing all your inside joke songs. Other people that like don't know you are like. Yeah, they're just kind of laughing along with it. Sheepishly laughing. You know they're talking so much shit afterwards. Why is he playing Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Christmas songs. Why is he playing church bangers? That's like what they keep saying. I went to a private or I went to a public school. You just don't get it. Yeah, dude. Because the guys, you know, the guys are,

they're just concerned about the cooler. Just get them with the cooler. Get them some cans in their hands. They don't care. Right. Girls, though, they want to be partying. They want to be having fun.

Shots. But like only this much. Every time a girl takes a shot, that's too much. I'm like, well. Oh my God, let's take shots, pour them a shot. Like, what about here? They pour back into yours. You're like, why do I have to be the drunk idiot?

Every girl, let's take a shot, but it's this much. I'm like, I don't even know what. Okay, I'll take the roof. I wonder why I ended up with my shirt off, a tie on my head, in a DUI. The girls. Hey, that's why you're Sir Wrong Song. Because you're, hey, you're too fucked up.

You're too fucked up. Trying to take shots as one of the bridesmaids. Sleazy move, dog. Sleazy move, sir wrong song. Oh, that's always such an interesting experience. The whole groomsman bridal party hanging out together, you know? Yeah, I'm like, I just don't know. like all the guys are delusional.

But you kind of feel an obligation. Like even if you're married, you know, or you have a girl, like you kind of feel an obligation like it's homecoming that you need to like hang out with the girl that you walk down the aisle with a little bit, you know? Like you get to form some sort of repertoire with them. It's hard, dude.

Because I'm like, are we in love or not? Like, can we just like literally, are we in love or not? Are you, do you have a boyfriend? Like, let's settle this because I will, fall in love with you if we do anything. Because we're pretty much getting married too. If you think about it. We're walking down the aisle arm and arm. We're walking down the aisle arm and arm. And they paired us up because we'd be good together. So we might as well get married too. Same wedding. Two birds, one stone. Let's make it happen. Sir wrong song.

What is it with that pressure though, that relationship? Are you like, I kind of need to sit by her on the party bus for a sec? At least like, you know, check the vibe. Make sure she's having fun. Yeah. Is my fake girlfriend that I had nothing to do with mad at me right now? Every time I'm like, I guess I don't know. Maybe we had a chance, but I ruined it. I can't have that. An interview outside of the reception. I think we had something, but I ruined it. I can't have, I can't just have like the whole like non-existent, don't talk, don't like have any sort of, like I said, like, a rat tat or anything. Like I need a little bit of like, oh, okay. Yeah, no, I'm cool. No, no, no, no. Me and Madison, yeah, dude, you know, like that kind of thing. I need to have at least a little sum of that.

Let's get a pick. Come on, dude. I don't, you know, I don't want to just like walk down the aisle. and then the walk down the aisle too, the little chitter chatter you got, that's a big moment too. There's a lot of pressure riding on that. Rehearsal dinner at the wedding, at the end of the wedding, you know, have a little bit of like a comment or something just because you don't want to be a guy that's just like stiff walking down the aisle. Everybody's looking at you and you're not saying anything like you're a robot. Hey, you don't want to be a hauntie. You know what I mean? Hanti. Hey, you sign Henty up that has a full time GF with Shorty. I can't look at her. I'm with Huntie. Hunting is watching and she will be mad at me. I can't talk to bridesmaid. Huntie mad.

Don't want to be that guy. Got to have a little chemistry up in there. A little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little flirt. Just a little doctor flirt. Nobody's mad at the doctor. Not even a flirt.

Just a little friendly retitat. That's it. They always have boyfriends. Every girl in the world has a boyfriend. No girl is just single. Every girl is a boyfriend. Deep down. Deep down there's always.

Just looking for the huntie. Just hauntie, huntie. You know what I was thinking about? I was like, I was thinking it could be. I don't know if it's just because it's Mother's Day weekend this coming up weekend or anything. I was like, it could be kind of interesting if we got Clubhouse,

the Burpee Boys and Clubhouse to, I don't know, I just had this vision in my head of it being like a trend kind of, just for us, obviously, where like they get their girl to submit a question to us. to us. That's great.

Like their girl that hates our podcast. Is that you mean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we do like a whole clubhouse hunting segment just maybe once where they just all of them come from like this. Yeah. All of them come from them. Question number one.

Why are you guys so annoying? Question number two. They like peaked in high school. don't get it. We'll be 70 years old and Ben will still make girls sound like that. 100% because they all do. Sorry. Like what the fuck?

They're like loud. Why does he have that guy in the background with a jersey on? He's literally 14. He played limp biscuit on the party bus. I'll never forget. Yeah, there's always one song where the guys go a little too crazy. Yep, too many, too many refill up shots from the girls. Little too interesting.

God, the way that dudes cannot wait to get on that party bus, pop open the cooler just to have one white claw, you know? It's like instant. I feel like there are, before they even get on the bus, do, do, do, there's nothing like more, there's nothing more bang, bang play than a dude getting on the bus cracking the cooler. Cigars layer? Guys already coming on the bus with one. I'm like, where'd you even

how? Where did that come from? There's always a guy. Planning people in the audience like for when they're walking out to hand them something. And it's just, I swear it's just one white claw. The most planning a guy ever does. Right there. How are we going to get, how are we going to drink during the wedding? Cooler, ice. Korslight. How are we going to do it? That's guy planning.

How are we going to do it beforehand? You know, because you get to the church or the other venue. You get to the venue two hours before to do all the stuff that you got to do. So that's always, yeah, like, who's bringing it? Are we going to be able to? She's going to be pissed. She said no drinking before the ceremony. She's never going to know, dude. You want to split a case? Yeah. Yeah, she won't know. But like, Tommy and then like, I don't want to put him in a weird situation. Yeah, yeah. Inevitably, like, it just happens anyways. Then six guys are in front of a church, bonging beers for some reason. You're like, oh, okay. There's a wedding.

There's a wedding going on there. That's how you know. Hey, is there a wedding going on there or a funeral? Well, there's six guys wearing the same thing bonging beers right in front of the church. So probably a wedding. The bat signal for a wedding. It's such a weird dynamic, too. because I was like, I've never been this drunk in my life

standing this close to a priest. I'm like, is this so loud? Yeah. The priest knows. Hiding from the priest when, you know, because he comes in and checks on the fellas and the little groom's quarters beforehand. It's like the child care center for the church.

Dude, it always is. I'm like, why is there a fucking baby rocker in here? I'm sitting on a cookie monster chair. What? That room before the wedding is so insane. There's a bouncy ball. One of your friends is bouncing on a ball. Has an airplane shot.

Dude, drink the rest of this. And it really breaks something. The kid chair that you're sitting in, someone just snaps it. The offensive lineman friend just bustles underneath them. Why are you sitting in that, Burkhart? Then you're putting the chair together. Like so it looks like it didn't break.

So the next person that sits in it, the next kid that's six years old that sits in it, breaks it. Wasn't my big friend. Did you always go when you're in wedding parties? Did you keep your jacket on for the majority or were you jack it off until the last possible second? I know your jacket off. You know I'm jacket off sleeves up, dude. Sleeves up since day one. What's up?

That was always so funny too. It's always like like a quarter of the guys who just stay in the. the full tucks the entire time. This finger? To be a wedding photographer and have to deal with a groom party. God. Sorry. Sorry.

Guys, can you guys, can you got, was that one funny? Guys. Oh, yeah. Taking pictures in a child care center. Now this one, like, you can do something, yeah, you can do something like fun if you want to, like, you can, like, chuck a beer, you can. All the dudes. Throwing up gang size signs for absolutely, every side of town.

they're from central Indiana and then you never talk to those guys ever again well this is the last time we all hung out yeah well never gonna see you ever again glad we got to document it I don't know it's a slow

it's a slow year for weddings for me I'm not I don't think I have any to go to I'm thought of my head what a blessing yeah kind of miss it though get out of here I mean, it's always a good day, you know, because it's just such an excuse, right?

Like, wife can't get mad at you for, you know, hanging out with your friends because you're in the wedding. You're at the wedding. What are you going to do? You know, you got to be there. Ah, dude, nobody wants to go. But, you know, nobody wants to go. You know, the night before is kind of fun. The rehearsal dinner, I'm like, this is kind of, this is kind of sick.

No press. We'll worry about it tomorrow. the rehearsal dinner but then the hang out after the rehearsal dinner you know oh that's hard but like doesn't the doesn't the bride and groom

have to like to get ready for don't they have to like do something or is it hey in the barn hay's in the barn pal hay's in the barn let's get fucked up hey the bags are packed you know

just got to get on the plane where we got so high before your wedding dude what always happens is the groomsmen and the groom get to go hang out and do whatever but then the girls are like they got to go because they have to get up at 545 to start the process of doing their hair and their makeup and their nails and everything and so they're like we got a long day tomorrow we're just calling it in and then the guys are like oh okay and then the bride just like don't be too crazy tonight and the groom's just like of course honey no

I can't wait for tomorrow yeah and then that's when it's when it's all separates and you're good to goal. But there's always one guy you kind of don't know in the, in the groomsman party that you're like, does he have to be here? Oh, it's my cousin. Yeah. It's my fiance's brother.

You're like, he doesn't get any of these jokes, dude. Right. Why does he want to be here even? Just throwing off the whole thing. But they do always want to be there. And you're like, hey, sorry, but thanks. Thanks for having a good attitude, but we're running circles around your ass.

You know what the, you know, who's Super Bowl that is, that hangout? You know who Super Bowl that is? The father of the groom. Dude can't wait. Dude can't wait to light it up. Yep, one last hurrah. It's the biggest moment. He's proud of his son, you know, his boys growing up.

He's, you know, he's becoming a man. He's getting married. you know, it's his day. And then he gets the invite to come hang out with the boys. And then that's the night because that's the night where all your friends, they're not sitting around itching. I mean, they probably are itching to go out somewhere.

But they all put on the attitude where they're like, yeah, man, this is your weekend. This is your night. Oh, oh, man. Mr. Molanero's coming. Oh, yeah. You got to hear the stories from the legend, you know, and they're all sitting around.

And it's the dad's time to just, hey, unbutton the top button and just go to town on. stories from his day and just get the boys going. I'm the guy asking for the dad too. Is your dad going to be there? Yeah, he might. He might. 100%.

Start to finish, bro. Drunk on the couch. You ever got married? Your dad doesn't even come. Oh, I would never let him. I'd be like, do not show up. Holy shit. No, not even.

I'm talking even to the wedding. No, yeah, that too. Don't let that motherfucker in, bro. Hell, no. Unless he objects, that'd be the realest thing. My dad comes, don't do it! I'm like, that's my dog, actually. He's right.

Cancel it. You're the best man in your dad's wedding. Your dad doesn't even come to your wedding. Perfect. The realest thing ever. A wedding this Saturday, I'm getting married. Oh, for real? It was like Thursday.

I was like, you're getting married to who? I was like, oh, okay, cool. He's like, you can come if you're not busy, all right? Seven minutes before you come and be? I was like, I'm like 15 away. 15 minutes, you can make it anywhere. 15's good. Yep.

We're good to go. Gives the best man speech. Too faulty. All right. Let's go to clubhouse. Team these guys at gmail.com. This one comes to us from Dylan. He says Marquise Colston, most underrated wide receiver.

Nobody talks about them. Why? God. So good for so many years. All right. I'll shut up. Seventh round pick, too. Dylan says,

Hey guys, longtime listeners since episode one and first time emailer. Wow. Dog. Love you. Not a reminiscent podcast, but do you guys have any stories of getting in trouble in school for something you actually didn't do or maybe you did?

For me, we had a school-wide choir concert in sixth grade in the high school auditorium. There was also no audience, just the other fifth and sixth grade classes from the other schools, basically in all the seats, one of the weirdest events in all my years of school. Out of the hundreds of kids there, our music teacher came up to me probably three times threatening to send me home because I wasn't singing loud enough. I told her to go ahead and call my mom then and she left me alone. Even my homeroom teacher didn't know why she kept singling me out. To this day, I still think this is the biggest setup against me for no reason.

Anyway, slap my ass while I look up in my childhood bedroom at my Brett Farr of autographed football that I got as a one-year-old that says to Dylan, keep up with the pack. P.S. You're going to love Derek Harmon on the Steelers as I watch him dominate at Oregon. Great character and really worked hard on his body, too, but not a sports podcast. Dylan, sit from my iPhone. What a dog, man. Great email. I am excited about. I am excited about Derek Harmon. I am. What position is he? Not a sports podcast, but just wondering. like a detackle. Nice. Did I ever get in trouble for something I did? The worst one ever was like my sophomore year of high school,

got in trouble for sleeping in church. I'm like, can you even, how is that? How do you get in trouble for that? I was like I was, I was, I was, I pretended like I wasn't. But I might have been sleeping for like two minutes. You know how you sleep in church? It's like two minutes, you wake up. Yeah, it's never the full thing.

You don't get the like in the car on the white vacation. Oh, wake up and I'm here. No, it's never that. But I was like, how do I get in trouble for like the most being the most quiet? Three detentions just ruined. Like I had to miss football practice. Like it was, it was, dude, it was bad, man. It was like my first time getting in trouble in high school too.

I'd like tell my parents. I was like, yeah, I just, yeah. I was sleeping in church. It was so stupid, man. three detentions? Three, bro. That's why I was kind of like, dude, like, are you trying to like,

what's going on? Yeah. It's intense. It was a lot. I was probably doing something stupid though, besides that. But I was like, this is a little unfair, man.

Like, if I'm being honest, but I couldn't say that shit. That was a wild thing about going to Catholic schools is like you had, so not only did you have to behave in school, right? But then you also had church.

on top of it. And then that was like double jeopardy. If you messed up in church, obviously like you're saying, that was mortal sin, dude. Like, you're screwed. And like in Catholic high school for church, it's not like assigned boy girl, boy girl. You're sitting by your homies. Like for an hour, quiet, funniest time of your life. Everybody's just trying to make everybody laugh. I'm like, this is dangerous. Yeah. And in high school, it wasn't in a, church. It was in a gym. Yeah. So you're like, dude, this is, this is it. This is where, this is where we grew up. In a church, you feel like, oh, I need to be like super, like reverent. In a gym, you're like,

I'm going to throw this at somebody's head. Totally. I'm going to, like, hang on the rim during our fathers. Yeah, they really set us up for failure there. Um, yeah, dude, I remember in seventh grade, I went real Mollinard and my math teacher me and her would I was never good at math and I was a hot head had an attitude and like she was

giving me a lip about something that I wasn't trying hard or I don't even remember the circumstance bro like I got super pissed and I just I just picked up some of the chalk erasers and just threw them at the chalkboard oh my God in class real time

Was her back turned? She I think I was talking to her after class or something And I was thinking it was going to go over differently than it did And she like ripped my ass Because I was just like sucking at math Which I was never good at

But I also just never cared about Because I was like I'm just not This just isn't me obviously And I thought it was gonna go over differently than it did And like she like ripped me And then like you know how teachers would leave the classroom In between class periods just like stand in the hallway or like go to the teacher's lounge or whatever for next period.

So she was walking out and I was just like pissed because she ripped me and I didn't realize that she hadn't left the room yet or I thought that she wasn't going to notice. So I just picked up the racers and just launched it at the chalkboard. Mollinard. And she was, she still very much solid and like heard it. And so then I got a couple of detentions. and my parents had to come have a meeting and everything. Oh my God. Mad guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yo. Did your boys see it at least? Were they like, oh, dude. I don't even remember, man. 13, 7th grade's weird time. Yeah.

Bodies just flooded with hormones and testosterone. Like, you don't know what's going on. Molnard origin? And then, yeah, the whole Tosh. point oh thing senior year of high school that was that was sick dude i wish you i wish more people knew about that they probably do but i think about that a lot yeah i like got in the most trouble and i wasn't even in the video but because i submitted the video i was like on the verge of expulsion like a so up center grove like a center grove baseball it was there's like a month left to school

i was a senior and like it just got so blown up and all of a sudden like I think the president of the school, like there was people were, like the dean and somebody else was saying like the other president's like thinking about expelling you. Had to have like my parents had to come in. We had to have a sit down with the dean, the president and the principal. Luckily the principal and the dean like had my back and we're like, now this dude's like he, you know, he's never this is we don't need to do this. Like he'll, I got, I got suspended for a week, in school suspension for a week. Um, And so that took off like 2% each day of my grade or something.

But by that time I was already accepted into school. I mean, it was a rough go. Don't get me wrong. Like it was crazy. But it was a little hit or miss there for a second. It's always the last two weeks of your senior year. You're like, it's real dicey. You're like, I don't even feel like walking by like a principal or anybody of authority.

Because like what we did last weekend, like it's always some, some. Dude, it's touchy, touchy last two weeks. You're like, I could not graduate because I saw that girl's tits. That always loved to hang that over your head though, you know? You're not graduating yet. Like, yeah, but I mean, come on. What are you really going to do?

I know. I think about that too. Yeah, that was, and like it happened on spring break. And that was, I don't know if that did more harm or good for us. Like, I think because it happened on spring break, maybe got more attention. And then they were really, ready to come after us at once we got back.

I'm not sure. Like if it would just happen during a regular week, maybe it was just blown over and nobody would notice. But maybe because everybody was on break and like everybody had more downtime, it got blown up. And then we get back that Monday. And all of a sudden, I'm walking in, I'm walking to like third period.

And a few people were just like, yeah, dude, I just got called down. Like, I think you're next. And I was like, oh, shit.

Yeah, that Monday morning after spring break, that call down, I'm just waiting. Dude, it was like one time it was first period. First period Monday after spring break. And all spring break, we're like, dude, we're, we're super like cautious. Like we, anything we do, I feel like they had like a trail cam in our condo.

Like, it was insane. Like, how did they hear about everything? But what's up? No, go ahead with yours. It was like Monday morning, first period. Nathan Allen, please come down to the office. I was like, dude, we're all done for. Like, they got a whole list.

They know everything. They know every word I said. Who spied on us? The worst guy to be called down to. Yeah, you're like, oh. Not the captain. Done for. Yeah, taking off the head of the snake.

Not the party planner. Come on. Yeah. That's the thing, though, dude, is I was in Indiana. I didn't even go. and I got in the most trouble because the episode aired on spring break. Did you watch it live?

Yeah. Nice. Anyways. Yeah. You can get into that. Maybe a TG live. I can tell the whole story of that. Let's go to Eric.

Nighttime cereal? What up fellas? In short, I've been getting back into cereal heavy. I used to try to get all the healthy cereals, but now I've said, F it. dipped back into the fruity pebbles and lucky charms. I feel like I'm going to keep some on deck to offer to all my guests because a bowl works at any time of the day.

But can we just talk about how great cereal was as a kid, not a reminiscing podcast? The commercials, the characters surrounding them, you can make an entire 32 team out of serial mascots. Tony the Tiger, Count Chocula, Tukon Sam, Cabin Crunch, Tricks Rabbit, Rasta Cinnamon Guy from Apple Jacks. I could go on. God. And aside, but now I've gotten my burpy girl to start saying, Beezza and Basta like it's second nature thanks to you guys. Anyway, slap my ass with one of those 90s winter hats that we wore as kids that looked like Dreadlocks pole and peel Twizzlers.

Oh my God, the Dreadlocks hats, dude. I got to look these up. Dude, the Packers Dreadlocks hat. What type of cultural appropriation was that, dude? We were just rock. I was just rocking dreads outside of a Colts game. It's so crazy. I totally forgot about that.

Wow, dude, I don't remember that at all. Bro, those were gas. Your team hat and then like alternate team color dreads coming out the back. Wow. They were called fan locks. Oh my God. Damn. Thumbail.

Yeah, get beats a, get beats a burpee girl to leave a. Submit a question. Submit a question. That would be sick. pizza it just works who dude who's winning the super bowl of cereal it's just every radio shows question I know I know that's just

but honestly every every time I'm ever doing this with you I'm starving and it's cinnamon toast crunch it's that's really really hard to argue I feel I mean look cereal they just have blue bloods like in college football and college basketball like

at any given year could be Captain Crunch, it could be Fruit Loops, it could be Cinematous Crunch, it could be Cookie Crisp. I don't know, you're right though. But Captain Crunch is like the Notre Dame of cereal. It's like, it's always there, but it's never winning the big game.

Like it's... Really? Really? Yeah. Captain Crunch is like... With the berries, with the berries Captain Crunch. Oh, it looks great. The box, the presentation,

Captain Crunch sounds sick. Like you want it. but then you have it and you're like I mean, I should just got cinnamon toast crunch. I should just got Alabama. See, I don't know. I think cinnamon toast crunch is kind of like Oregon. Let's talk. I think cinnamon toast crunch

is sexy. It's got a lot of flash. You're eating this. You're like, I can't believe this. You know, you're watching Oregon with all their uniforms. You're like, what? This is insane. You're eating cinnamon toast crunch. You're looking at the presentation of it. How the milk even looks good after you're like, what? But at the same thing, time it's it might be Oregon yeah I might it might have no rings they might get blown out in the

championship by who though who's the Alabama I mean that leaves like lucky charms and fruit loops in my opinion never been a tricks guy hebs fruity pebs never been a tricks guy never been a fruity pebbles guy fruit loops hey frosted flakes frosted flakes frosted flakes frosted flakes Alabama with chocolate milk come on Chocolate milk's a transfer portal QB. They just got... Oh, they got that guy? Yeah, I mean, Frosted Flakes, it's fairly plain, right? Alabama's uniforms, they're not blowing anybody out of the water,

but you see it and you just know, you see that tiger and you know. You see Alabama's crimson coming, see you. I know this is such a played question, but I could talk about, why could I talk about this the whole entire day? I was just about say that too about cereal. God, it's so true. And damn, it's so good, man. I've cut it out of my diet because I'm trying to eliminate all that sugar and everything.

But, oh, how I could just down three straight double-sized bowls of any of those cereals. It's the whole box now. Like, you turn, you turn 30. We're not talking, we're talking box, dude. We're eating box. It is. You said that about, there's another food item that you said, like, dude, you're not just doing like one go-round. Yeah.

That's absolutely the case with fruit loops, especially for me. if I have one bowl of fruit loops, I'm having three. Who's eating one bowl of cereal? Unless you're seven. Lucky Charms, not bad. It's like Donato's pizza. It's like, you're not having one of those little thin slice squares.

You're having eight. I don't think the clubhouse knows about Donato's like we do. Probably not. That's not a local podcast. I think I'm team, you're going to hate me, but I'm team fruity pebbles over fruit loops. Yeah

That's like a conference thing You know That's like you're a big 12 guy And I'm a big 10 guy And we just We just see things differently Dude can you Just what's Reese's Puffs

Who's Reese's Presentation bro Made to play this game Born to play this game What's your special talent I match cereals up with college football teams Okay well he can juggle

you said you said that this is every every show but I don't know I don't know if they could do it like us and I don't I think that the clubhouse will resonate more with this

than anything um yeah Captain Crunch dude Frosted Flakes probably is Alabama like you're just not beating that Cookie Crisp is like a it's like some

I don't know Auburn no they're just such they're so it's it's always it's It's never what you think with Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp is LSU. They've never won a title, bro.

Cookers never want a title. LSU's kind of... You don't think they want a title? No. See, what my point was with Cookie Crisp and LSU is like, it's all or nothing. Like, LSU, they're either the best team ever, or they're kind of like, yeah, probably eight and four, nine and three. Nice.

You want me over with that. But I could also see your argument of Cookie Crisp being, Texas A&M. That's such a good one, dude. Hey, all right, all right, all right. I'm like, last one, we do this for 14 more hours. Honey bunches of oats. Is that like, is that like, uh, almost want to say, is it Oklahoma?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Is it Stanford? Is it, uh, it's like, it's Iowa. It's Iowa. Oh, great defense. Honeybunches of votes. It's just too simple. Yeah.

You know. Hey, North and South. North and South. North and South cereal are right there. All right. Let me get to one coming off last week. He's done.

He's done playing. He's done playing. He's done playing. He's from Lou. Just retired his jersey in the rafters. Okay. It's from Lou. It's coming off last.

week title, guys liking cool stuff. As I'm hearing YouTube talk about Benny's Braves hat hanging off the TV, I needed to send this. I don't know when or where I got it from, but for most of my teenage years, I had a Paul Pierce Shamrock jersey hanging on my wall. I had never seen a Celtics game in my life. I wasn't a Celtics fan, but it was just cool and guys like cool stuff. No idea where that thing went, but here's a picture of what it looked like. Slat my ass with the amputated foot hanging on Benny's wall because that's cool stuff. So obviously it has to be hanging.

Yeah, Ben, if you want to log on to the email or pull it up, I don't really know how to pull it up and show the screen here, but it's gray, it's got two stripes, and in the middle of it is just a shamrock. Oh, yeah, they're like,

that was like kind of the throwback. Throwback jersey. City Jersey, city jersey joint. Well, they had like, when throwback jerseys were huge back in like 2000s, not a nostalgic podcast. I don't know if the Celtics

ever wore those in game. I kind of think they did. But I always remember seeing that Celtics one. And I was like, that's the best Celtics jersey. Because I don't know, the Celtics jerseys as they are, not that great. Yeah, Celtics always throwing grays. And it is kind of like, I don't know if I love it or hate it or it's different. Dude, that's, that's gray pants, gray pants theory right there. You just saw it? You just saw it? Yeah, bro. We just gray. Why? It's just so. I don't know. All right. We came full circle with that. We came full circle with that.

I can't find bros. Can't find bros email. I got to show this jersey, though. Um, oh, come on, baby. Ben is looking for it to show on the video.

These guys, Clubhouse, there it is. Right there. Shamrock, dead center. Kind of, I don't know.

Dude, it is nice. Not a bad gray. I was loving the Celtics pull out the gold number. and letters with the green jersey. I feel like they should just be on that all the time. Yeah. It's a nice little pop.

Nice little pop. All right, cool. Keep emailing team these guys at gmail.com. Obviously read them every week. Love having you guys part of the show. Subscribe, follow the show. Apple pods wherever you get your podcast. Leave us a rating.

Leave us a review. Favorite jersey. Your house clock, your house scoreboard, random name. Daddy's on air. Anything plays there. These guys club also on YouTube. Subscribe.

so you can see our jerseys and our jackets and all the cool stuff that we have hanging up because guys like cool stuff. Merch, make it merch. Comment what cereal is what football team? Because what's Apple Jacks? What's... What's kicks?

Apple Jacks is Washington. God dang, dude. Why does it just feel so right? Apple Jacks is Washington, for sure. Keep them going down there in the comments. Great review. Like Joey said, get some merch, clubhouse merch, these guys merch, not bad for a fat guy, merch, email the

shah, and get your tickies, Rochester, Friday, Las Vegas, May 24th, Nashville, June 13th, and 14th, and Baltimore, September 25th, banypolletze.com. Hell yeah. All right. Love you guys. Talk to you next week. Nick Marcakechus. Reggie Ebercrombie. Is that a guy?

I just make that up. No, I think he did. Dude, Abercombe? These guys.