THESE GUYS! - Christmas Hot Takes

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

🎟 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗝𝗢𝗘𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗜𝗧 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗬 𝗗𝗘𝗖𝗘𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥 𝟮𝟮https://dettickets.houseofcomedy.net/event/benedict-polizzixFIl4hVOn this episode Ben and Joey talked about how Ben isn't a fan of anything at all

Wow, this chair. Who built this thing? Uh-oh. Wood shop class. Would you get a man, son? Woodshop. This is my final and I'm building a chair. Building a birdhouse.

I like wasn't allowed to take those classes, bro. I never took wood shop. I didn't either because it was like out in a barn in the back and I was scared. My dad would have been like, what the fuck are you doing taking a wood shop class? Would have been really helpful though, I think. Because I don't know how to. do Jack. It would have changed

the trajectory of your life. Like, what's showing you in these days? Oh, he's a fucking carpenter. He took after our Lord and Savior's Earth Father and became a carpentier. He's actually in my backyard putting up the fence. You don't do shit but that. I never.

That'd be a great life, Loki. If you just built shit all day? Oh, how handy would you feel? And then you can turn it into a TikTok and you'd have like 6.7 million followers. Oh yeah. DIY build it. This guy just hammers shit on his TikTok.

He has 27 million followers. Your whole TikTok. Your whole TikTok's a Home Depot theme song. They nailed it on that theme song, though. These guys, episode 11. What's up? Joy? Not a lot.

Oh, hey, this reminds me. Oh, remember to follow on Spotify, Apple, podcast, YouTube, watch us on YouTube. Please. You know, the normal shit. December 22nd. Oh shit. Detroit House of Comedy. Detroit House of Comedy.

That's gonna be fun. These guys live on stage. These guys. A little bit of joy, joy, a little bit of Benny boy. Maybe both of us at the same time. Both of us at the same time. Just slamming coffees on each other's heads. Oh, dude, who's not going to do that?

I'll be slamming coffees on heads and throwing donuts at you too. Wouldn't that be a great show? They're like, all right. I can't wait to see all your guys jokes. No, no, no. This isn't the show. What do you mean? And then someone just passes at 26 boxes of dozens of donuts.

We both get on stage with our shirts off. We're like, come on, see if you can hit us. Free merch for anybody who like explodes one on the back of one of our heads. Oh, a jelly donut to the grill. Absolutely. Dude, how crazy would the crowd go for that? The donut. They're like, this is the loudest place

has ever been. What kind of material do you guys have? Wow, you guys must be going to like Madison Square Garden next or something. You're really rip-roaring it up. Nope, just having people throw donuts out of heads. The closer, just so many spikes of coffee right on your face.

Yeah. It was the most incredible show. Merry Christmas. Ha! We walk off stage like those crickets and their top hats were like that'd be hard to do at a comedy club

you gotta go through one of those little fucking doors oh that is a weird or those fakesest wood shop doors ever comedy club stages I'm like what are you doing here yeah you probably perform on some really weird shape shift

fucking stages I swear to got one time I was standing on a skateboard yeah that's how big the stage was and it had wheels on the bottom of it I was like you want me to like Ollie kick flip that's some old school physical comedy right there for you what put a banana underneath it

gets a laugh like four out of ten times oh my god I would laugh every time what were you gonna say though before we just hadn't explained our dreams bro it's been uh yeah I know I um you know it's it's it's weird we're like back to the times now like it was before COVID where like when you didn't have COVID or the flu and you just had like a common cold. You know, the common cold era. That's what I was cold era. Oh, you got a cold era right now. Yeah.

I don't got the flu. I don't got COVID. I don't got none of that. It's just the straight common cold. OG cold. Oh, G cold. Yeah. What are you doing, bro?

You're throwing, you popping some Vicks. I got Vicks vapor rub. I got, uh, I got the, the cough drops. I got, I'm drinking tea at night. I got a peppermint, a honey, citrus mint tea from Starbucks. Yeah, I got the bomb. You know, popping some medicine every now and then trying to get some sleep. See, it's just real tough when you got the three month old because sleep is hard to come by.

And it's like your body needs that rest, bro. So you're fucking your nap time jojo right now. I'm just getting a hot 17 minutes in anytime you can. Yeah. And it's like the worst because it's those naps to where like, you know, I'm battling some sickness and I'm tired already. and then like I get some sleeping and then I wake up and I'm still so tired of I wake up up. I feel. So pissed when you wake up

I feel like I'm drunk. Why do I even wake up? I'm like fuck! Every time I wake up from a nap because the dreams you have when you take a nap as an adult. I've even having crazy dreams lately. I woke up the other day and I didn't I thought I was in a fucking hotel room. I was like, uh, I've been having some wild dreams too.

I don't know. I feel like it's like I feel like it comes and goes for like a majority of the popularity. I don't know if it has something to do with the tides or the moon, full moon or some shit, you know, Earth, Jupiter, whatever. But do you usually dream, like, I'll go through phases where I won't dream at all. I'll have solid sleep and boom. But then I'll go through phases where I have, I literally feel like I am in a virtual reality

world that I'm controlling and I'm in the dream. That's great. That's the same thing. Dude, I swear, I've had two dreams since I was like six. Every time I sleep, I'm just like, I don't know. Nothing happens. But yeah, in this past week, I have been the two dreams. Oh, what are they been about?

Oh, we're doing dream talk. One was kind of sexy, so I'm not going to talk about that. It was with you. After the Monday night game, I was like, can't get this guy out of my head. After I whined you and sweeted you at the Monday night football game, this much wine. That was,

I love that, though. That was perfect. I felt sexy having that. Oh, the less amount of alcohol, the sexier it is. You can't be in a sweet at anything.

be like down in bud lights. You got to be in a sweet and have a sophisticated drink. Yeah. Little tiny shipper. Holy shit. It was like a NyQuil glass of wine. I was like, this is too much. It was absolutely perfect. Now, so that's what I've been dealing with. So, you know, it's a fight. But I saw my wife sent me a tweet. It was a satire, I think. But it's from that Nick Adams dude on Twitter, who's just absolutely insane. He's like the guy that has like three American flags by his name and he like, dude, he always is just like, oh, Matt Ryan's playing quarterback, but Tim Tebow still doesn't have a job in the league, like that kind of shit. And he tweeted, he was like, women have no idea. Childbirth doesn't even compare to a man when he has a cold.

That's funny as fuck. Was he serious though? Well, that's the thing is like, people lose their mind because it's like he is serious, I think, but I think it's a character that is just, you know, the best one of that. Right. Right. And, but dude, it's true, man. Colds will fucking wipe your ass out. I don't know if I've had one in a minute. I think I just might always have a cold. You can't get a cold if you always have one.

Dude, that's the thing. It's like they're there forever. They just don't go away. Dude, my, my, like, my nose hasn't worked forever. So I kind of just kind of always have a cold. Yeah. Like, I forgot to take my nasal spray. I forgot to take my nasal spray today.

I'm freaking out. Sniffles, man. I discovered Rob. ramen noodle. Just one. Just one. He just has one. One noodle and one drop of wine every day. That's what you eat. I discovered ramen noodles today though. Oh, did you go to college? I did, but I didn't have them. I had them once in college because that's like, you know, you got to try it. Well, that's the thing is I really politi did because it was just, you know, I remember my senior year and like when I was getting ready, but he's getting ready for college. Everybody was just like, oh, beer and ramen noodles, right? You ready for some rice? Yeah, you're ready to be ready to have some ramen noodles.

And I was like, I'm not doing it then. If ever, I'm not. Oh, yeah, everybody's doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not. Yeah. I'm not going into freshman year and just straight up. Well, I'm just going to have ramen.

Have you tried the chicken one? No, I was like, I'm not. No. So I never did. Yeah. Riley loves ramen and then ramen noodles. And she crushing them in college. Probably.

Probably. But like, so she still has some because they're, hey, you know what? It is what it is. The reason everybody said that is, because they're cheap and they're quick to make. Fire. And they're also very good that I found out.

So I had them for lunch today. I threw those bitches in a boiling thing of water. I put the spices in it. How easy. And I was, I was digging it, dude. I was literally, this is my winter meal every day.

Oh my, I went through a phase like that. And I was just crushing ramen noodles. So I was like, where can I go wrong here? Right. There's 60 cents. It's the best thing I've ever tasted in my life.

And then somebody's like, you know how much sodium is it? That's what she said. I was like, oh. I looked at the back and like the zeros went off the nutrition chart. I was like, oh, shit, this is wrapping around the packet. The sodium zero is made up for the lack of zeros and the cost. Oh, yeah, dude.

Where you were cost efficient, your sodium deficient. So how potent is that little chicken packet? I'm like, what are they putting in there, bro? You get the spicy kind? You get the spicy kind? I think I just went OG chicken because I couldn't get enough of it. Get some ramen noodles, the one that has the spicy packet, the spice packet with two, put the spices in there, stir it up.

What happens if you put two packets in there? Fucking house explodes. My mouth, I mean, hey, I got the cold. I got the sinuses running with that. I got those things moving. Kind of nice when he gets the spicy noodles. Is it ever nice when you have a cold? Can't just sit back?

I like to sound of my voice. Oh, yeah, you got sexy sick voice, you bitch. Kiss me real quick so I can have. I'm like, I'm like trying to take advantage of my sexy sick voice and like I'm like working on some new impressions because I'm like, oh, yeah. Who you hit? Give us a little preview. No, I hit. Well, that's the thing is I don't have any of them down.

But it's just like, they'll cross our mind. I'm like, my voice a little bit different right now. I think I maybe could do that. Yeah. You're squeezing all your podcasts in this week. Right. Yeah. You need a guest.

You're fucking texting everybody. Hey, you want to come on espresso? Both of us are just like, yeah, this week. Yeah, dude, I essentially, that's what it's like, I have to find the balance between having sexy, sick voice and being those guys that you see on TikTok, they're like, bro, why do you cheat on your girl? friend. Can you please?

Can you please do it? Hey, this is the biggest red flag in a girl. Literally toxic. I need to get a wig. Get a hair that looks like you. The flip out. Oh yeah. That flops over my forehead. You need the bust and bustin' bust and for real,

for real cut. Guys, why do you train girls and like you like? Everybody's like, why do they talk like that? because they have a cold. They have the common cold. There you go.

TikTok common cold. That's what it is. Hashtag TikTok common cold. It's Spotify rap season. Bro. Holy shit. I got the funniest email from Spotify. Really?

Do tell. Hold on. Do read. Do tell. Look at this. Bad news. This year you didn't listen to enough music to get your own wrapped. Yeah.

You're like, I'm on Apple. music. I'm not doing Spotify music. Couldn't finish the song without crying. Man, that it sneaks up on you every year. Everyone who talks about, oh, way, nobody knows when it is. The holiday sneak up on you. This sneaks up on you. No, you know what sneaks up on you? When every fucking person you know is posting their Spotify rap list. It is kind of like, and then once it's there, I mean, do you ever read them? Like, who the fuck are you listening to? Take the two by four and smack it against your head because that's essentially

Oh, Spotify Rap. Who's your number one? I don't want to listen to Spotify. Yeah, I don't either. So I don't ever have a list. And so maybe that's why I'm bitter that I can't partake because I don't listen to music on Spotify. We almost did this

the other day, but we're going to do it now. Your top 25 on Apple music? Top 25. You're recently added on our Apple wrapped. recently added. You would think that Apple would have a counter to that, right? Like, they have a counter to everything. I don't think they need to.

Wow. It's like when Wendy's and Burger King make ads, making fun of McDonald's. McDonald's is like, fuck y'all. Can't get a Big Mac. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks for the pub.

Right. Yeah. Shit. Hey, number. Hold on. Let me guess. Hold on. Number one song.

Wait. Is this top 25 played? This is top 25 most played ever Apple music. your top 25 most played ever post Malone I fall apart Hearts on fire Rocky 4 soundtrack

And then we got We got Duelipa by Jack Harlow We got Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift I wish I had it Wildest Dreams wow That was Kevin Gates That was you and your girl's song

When you guys are dating huh No that was that was after we broke up What is wild How does that one get wildest dreams In your wildest dreams Oh, yeah. You see me in hindsight. Yeah.

You down. Oh, wait, that one's a good one. Yeah. He's so tall and handsome as hell. I was fucking, I was out of the heart, fresh out of the heartbreak hotel just working out to that song.

Just 13 times in a row. Say you remember me. Oh, bye. See you. Oh, yeah. That's an emotional. Pushing, dude, for sure. Pushing. God, dang, now I'm going to listen to all the way how I'm

cry. Yeah, and that's the only thing you're going to listen to for the next two months. You're Spotify. Rapp. Well, it doesn't, it doesn't hurt. Wildest streams, wildest streams, all the streams, it doesn't hurt that, you know, that, that was like, it's still, I think, is like a TikTok trend. Oh, that's those videos where it's like

nine-year-old me watching Aladdin when she comes on the screen and it's Jasmine. and it's like, oh, yeah. You see me on hindsight. Oh, when you see somebody hot, yeah. It's surprised somebody hasn't done that for you. Maybe they have. When I see Joey on my Twitter feed.

A ho's. When Joey does the Collinsworth. I'm making that shit. Joey in a wig. in a grocery aisle. Wow. Okay. Okay.

You said he got a cold. That's what I'm dealing with. That's what. Thought about this last episode. Didn't get to it. And you have no choice. We need to reinstate the Molinard minute. Man, I don't know.

Come on. Talk about the Steelers offense or something. You got 60 minutes of Molinar on Monday night. I need 61. We were close to OT there for a second. It was a little good. Joey during a football game is insane. Just me when the Steelers play.

I can watch a football game and not be that. But yo, I didn't like I understood. Yeah, I get it. I get what's going down. Joey's top tier fan. Probably top five fan ever. Thanks. But like I felt like,

uh, I was like I don't care about anything in my life. The way that Joey. cares about the Steelers. You're not the first person to tell me that. I was thinking about it and I was like, I need to care more about something. That's why you were so quiet. Yeah, I was like, damn, dog.

So shout out to the Gridiron Gang Foundation, Robert Mathis and Nick for having us. It was super, super dupe. It was honestly crazy. It was, yeah, it was insane. We're in the back of the end zone. It was just like we could have one foot in front of us and we would have been on the field, running like with the players. It was so weird.

Like don't. Hey, it was kind of like, can we sit here? If you think that I hadn't thought about if the Steelers scored in our end zone and they like came up to that area that I wouldn't have like hopped in the. Oh, bro. You tap me on the shoulder. You're like, yo, if the Steelers score here, get your phone ready. And I was like, okay.

Well, because Muth told me that he was giving me the ball. He came down. I was ready, bro. We made eye contact. He pointed at me. I was like, oh, it's on. Like he remembers this is going to happen. I was freaking out.

my phone was running out of battery. I was like if my phone dies and this happens, like I'm the worst. Well, the good thing is like it would have been everywhere. So anyways, like I, trust me. It was like, if they come down here and they're right in front of the suite, I'm hopping on in the field and I'm jumping into the,

you know, into the pile with them or whatever. But yeah, it was super, super crazy, super awesome experience. But it was just like, that was the literally in all of our years working together being

friends, that was the first time Ben has watched a Steelers game with me. Yeah. And it just happened that we were in person on the front row behind the end zone. Ro, so I was in it. You were so hot at some points of the game. I felt like I was your wife. I was like, it's okay.

It's okay. We still have the rest of the game. He literally, I was like, stop it. I go, be more optimistic. I said that to you, bro. It was the second quarter. Be more optimistic.

Well, yeah, it was a second quarter. And, you know, it was like the Steelers were in second quarter. and 12 and they brought out some stupid package where it's like you know they're going to run the ball and it's going to be third and 11 so funny so I was just like you know going in just being like stupid fucking team with this bullshit play calling and Ben was like stop dude be more optimistic I was like oh shit he's like he wasn't ready for Molinar 60 minutes literally went in the suite to charge my phone just in case anything happened where I needed it what a setup no Moulinard minute no more come on dude can you explain to me though like

you're not getting I'm near I'm not bad about Moldnard Mennett and people put it on the Instagram story because we got the background of Monday night football and you're wearing exactly the color of what you're wearing right now on the left side of your body yeah bright lime green soccer jersey to a football American football game featuring a team with blue and a team white, gold, and black. I didn't really think about that too much, but I've been wearing soccer kits

to football games, like, for a long time. So I just kept it going. And Portugal's kind of running shit right now. So I was like, I have a... This would be the time to wear it. You following the World Cup? Not at all. Yeah. Actually, someone told me Portugal.

I think it was my dad, actually. Yeah. And then I was like, well, I have a jersey somehow. So I'm gonna wear it. And then that's how it happened. But then everybody's like, oh, bro, can't tell if you want to get on TV or not. We're in a lime green fucking jersey

on the like end zone line. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I did want to get on TV too, though. How are you not a fan of things though? Like this, I mean,

I don't know. Like you just doesn't stick with you. I mean, when I was a kid, when I was a kid, it was like, I would cry like if the Steelers lost and shit. Yeah.

And but now I'm just like, I mean, I'm older than those. guys and stuff. So I just don't really care as much. Yeah. It just didn't stay with me. Yeah, no. I mean, maybe, you know what it was? I think I was around football too much like every second that I'm now, I'm like, ah, I get it. That's fair. Why do you fan of any teams? I'm, and I probably in the same boat with Ben. I just like, I can't let that affect what I'm doing. You know what I mean? I can't let it like get me up and down and affect what I'm doing.

I might be, I might be scared. Actually, you're scared to commit. I might be scared to commit. I might be scared to commit to anything, bro. I can't even fucking close my front door when I walk in. I'm like, I don't know if I'm leaving. Man, you know, I yeah, I don't, I may come back. Yeah. Hopefully I do. Never locks his car. Who knows? I don't know, man. I just, uh, you know, for me, it's like a release. It's like something that I can like just fully invest in that like I know I have no control over, but it's just something to look forward to and like that is something to be a part of, you know, like a community, I guess. For a minute, I guess, thing I was like I would I would want like I was really into movies for like a weird amount of time

when was this it was like my sister put me on like Marvel movies oh yeah I remember that but you still kind of like kept on a rap so you didn't really want anybody I didn't know yeah I guess but uh and yeah I was like I guess yeah but um oh yeah I used to watch like superhero shit all the time when I was a kid so she was like why aren't you watching these movies and I was like oh my She's like, come on. Just watch this one. And I was like, okay. And I watched one.

I was like, oh shit. Yeah. Went kind of hard. And she's like, there's like nine more that lead up to like the infinity war or whatever. And then I was just like, all right, I'll try the next one. And then I started getting hooked, dude. I was watching movies at like 2 a.m.

And I was like, this is crazy. And then I watched, you know, the final, you know, you get it. All of them. Yeah. You went in. I went in, dude. And for a while, I was like, this is per. Like, I don't know.

Maybe that's your thing. That was my Steelers, dude. Maybe it's like you, you're afraid, you know, you realize that when you do get in, you get in hard. Hard. Hard. Where I'm just like, I'm wanting to get in hard, you know. If I get in, I'll never get in out. I don't know how I got out of the movie world, honestly.

Yeah. Escape somehow. You escaped. Escape. I escaped. Because now like a good, I was going to say, Marvel movie comes out. I'm like, oh, my God, I want to sit there for two and a half hours in the theater, you know. Yeah, I don't know.

I guess I, like, I guess I just. I just care really. I know I'm older and all these guys. I know that it doesn't matter in the end, but I just love them. Yeah.

It's just weird. It just is what it is. Can't do nothing about it. You're born with it. You're born without it. Steelers, Gene. I do think about that sometimes. I'm like,

man, I know my son probably just isn't going to give a fuck about any of it. He probably will care more. I don't know. We'll see. You're like, nah. We will see, man.

I don't know. What's up? Still waiting on your minute, bro. I'm not letting you, not letting you back out. See, I don't want... 60 seconds.

I don't, but I don't want... I told you, man. I told you, like, I'm trying to... Come on. I'm not letting you back out. I like to stay away from that.

You know what I mean? Like, that was a good era. Steelers, Steelers offensive coordinator. Give you 59. 59. That point of time.

59. But now it's like, I don't want to be the hot head guy. That's what we want. No, man. Just for 59. No more Molnard. Molnard's been retired.

I can't be Moldard as a dad. I'm about to bring it out of you then. You're like the fucking incredible Hulk on this show. I'm like, come on! If you bring it out of me, then, then, then, you know, this is going to be the show. This is going to be the show we have. It's just me trying to get you fucking mad the whole time.

That'd be the best show ever. Can you rank? Honestly, fuck the Steelers. Seriously, literally horrible franchise. Four and seven. Cowboys are so much better if you ask me. Like all time? All time, bro.

Seriously? Dude, shut. No. Honestly, dude. No Molinar. Hey, there's a star in the helmet for a reason. No Mollinard.

You only get Mollinard certain specific times. You got a Monday night. Steelers shouldn't even won the last Super Bowl they played it. When was the last Super Bowl they played in? I don't know. Yeah. There you go. I don't know.

You tell me, bro. You tell me. Hey, best franchises of all time in NFL, Cowboys. This guy's like, yeah, damn right. Can you rank? Do you have a top, do you have a five favorite Christmas songs? Damn. I pose this question of my family and it was much harder than I anticipated.

There's so many. There's a lot of weird ones. that I like. I might need to see a list. I can't like, I can't rip them off. There's so many. And there's so many that you don't think about.

And then all of a sudden you hear him at a Christmas party. You're like, oh my God. Dude, there's one like really low key one that's like almost a little bit sad. But I'm like, why is this so Christmassy? Hold on.

Low key sad. Is it the Christmas song? I mean, it's not sad, but it just kind of has like some sad undertone. It might be like a 7 p.m. on Christmas song. Is it the Christmas song? song. Chast Nott's roasting.

Oh, no, that's not sad. Hold on. I might have to find out on my phone right now, but, uh, your little drummer boy guy. Nah, never been a little drummer boy guy. But it's not bad. It can,

it can play. Uh, never did anything for me. Never did anything for me. It can definitely play on Christmas and I don't get bad because it's, is it one that I play here, Ben. Yeah,

it is. Um, let me see what a sad one is that I have. It's not sad. That might have been the wrong. Absolutely. Rips. Then,

dun, dun, then, last Christmas? Oh, last Christmas is sad. Last Christmas I gave you my heart.

Oh, bro, because that's so passionate. I gave you my heart. We can't play it because of copyright. Yeah, that little like

said, you know, you throw some motherfuckins in there. That's a heater. That little synthesize that they got going on there. That, that,

that, that, that, that, sometimes that's my number one. Like, I've got like a flex list. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think you like Santa Baby, too. I do you know I just I just know I'm a Santa baby bitch Santa baby

oh that is good Santa baby's under like how about her going off the grid just being like kind of a freaky bitch Santa baby I heard you london give me your one and two

that's a crazy dude that can that can rival uh Santa Claus is coming oh yeah I hate San Claus is coming to town Wait what's the what's the

what's the what Oh, that's a, that's really good too. But what's the number one of all time? Mariah Carey. Yeah. It's hard. I want to shit on. I want to,

I want to make a hot take and say that's not the best Christmas song. But I don't know if I got it in me. See, that's the thing is I don't think any take about Christmas songs is a hot take because there's so many. There's so many different variations. And everybody has their own like personal preference of like, well,

my grandma always played this when we bake cookies. Yeah. You know, so it's like if you're not into Mariah Carey, that's cool. Some people don't like Blue Christmas, you know. What is that song? It's last Christmas. Oh, bro, bro. That's my lot of passion. That's my top two. A lot of passion for sure. I think I've probably cried to that song. I'm not going to lie. It's a cry. It's a cry. It's a cry. You ever cried on Christmas? Yeah. Dude, I used to be a fucking wreck on Christmas. No way. On Christmas night. Oh, because it was over? Because it was over. Because it was over. and we were like leaving my grandparents.

Oh, dude. Like it was just done. That's a different kind of cry. It's a different kind of cry. And then I was like asleep in the car like five minutes later. You know, but like crusty tears on your face. That, that like, oh yeah, I was crying. I was start crying again when you wake up.

That like, okay, we got to go. No, it's time. Everybody's leaving. But we can't stay the night. No, everybody's going. But I did no more presents. No, come on. We got to go.

We got to go home. Man. Weird. Weird. When you're a kid, like a younger kid. Such a stupid-ass kid, though. You get the next five days off. You get the next 25 days off.

Christmas break is so long when you're a damn kid. I'm like, are you sure? But then when you look back on you, like it's only like a week and a half. Was it? Like two weeks. Dude, I swear to God, we were getting Christmas break, December 6 to January 28th.

I'm like, God, damn. That was college Christmas break. I can transfer and come back. College Christmas break. Oh, dude. What was that? What are they doing? College Christmas.

break. It was like, you made it to Thanksgiving. They're like, see you next year. They didn't give a shit. Like, but don't we have the finals? They're like, just do it online. They're like, all right. Happy motherfucked. I forgot I was enrolled. Jesus. What dorm in my end? When you come back? You, you, you,

dude, I was one of those weird fucks that like stayed in the dorm during Christmas. Oh my God. Now you're really trying to give Moladard. I did, bro. They're like, you have the option to stay. if you stay in your dorm. I was like, all right,

that sounds fucking fire actually. God, you're so fucking whole building to yourself. I was like, this is great. I have my own fucking apartment.

I think I had a party on, like, I had a party in my dorm room during Christmas break. Who was like the people that was, you know, at the front desk

and like checking you in and out. Nobody. You just had a key. Bro, there was so much trust in dorms. I was like, you guys are insane. I could blow this bitch up

at any. moment. But there was nobody ever there. I just went up to my dorm room, just had all my shit in there, all my clothes were there. I was like, you want me to move all my clothes to like my fucking dad's house during Christmas break? It's like a lot of shit. And then

I don't know, but I would, I was mobile, bro. I was staying. I had cribs, dude. At the dorm. I had Pop's house, you know? Yeah. Coach P's house. You're right about the moving the clothes. That is I mean, there's just, I was like, oh my, I got

on hook. my like fucking PlayStation 3. Yeah. I mean, there's just a lot going on. I was like, I'd rather just pay like $50 and keep my room like active. Keep it as it is. And just kind of like.

So the transition isn't. I don't live too far away from home. So it's like, I mean. And then and then there's always that option like, you know, no pregame spot. I'm like my dorm room.

Not bad. Yeah. Not bad in college when he got like five dumb ass friends. They're like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. As long as there's beer there. As long as we play Edward 40 hands.

never done that by the way I have definitely pissed myself I have and I quit I would definitely piss myself I can't I mean my bladder it don't hold shit when I'm drinking beer I think I'm done with beer I think I'm done

shut up I think I'm done with beer I think it's just wine shut up what no way I think so way too young to say that what do you mean

because you say that when you're like 78 you're done I've never seen you drink a beer I'll drink 16 right now no you won't I swear to God you're full of shit dude the first three years that we

first three years that we did shit like work together and hung out you would go to we would go to bars and you'd go up to the bar and you'd be like hey can I get a Sprite in one of those cocktail cups and can you put one of those like leafs in it so people would think that it was a I did that at the game on Monday

Sprite and cranberry so good yeah right beer does it is like it fills you up and shit but sometimes it's just fire like I'll have beer left over from like some videos we do see you later Maybe not like fully retired beer, but just like that's not going to be my first go-to.

If there's an ice cold, blue moon with an orange in it right there, you taking it out? Taking out the orange? No, you take and just see you later? Well, I only do elbows up. I only do drafts for blue moon. Here comes beer guy all of a sudden. Only out of the tap for me. I thought you just quit.

I walked the back. back a little bit. I'd say fully. I just said you know, it's got to be been trying to get you Molnarded this whole time. It can't be, it can't. Can we change the name of this podcast? The Molinar minute. Three people listen to it.

Me, my fake account, and sometimes you, just to see what you're wearing on it. I literally look through all our thumbnails for this podcast and I was like, what haven't I worn? That's why I'm wearing this fucking Nickelodeon ass hoodie. I don't even think about it. I've been wearing a lot of dark.

I was like, am I depressed? Nickelodeon. Yeah, nah, nah, nah, no, Nick. Yeah. We brought back the old original hat here. The old Jordan. Man.

The old Jordan special. Did you give it one of these? No, man. I like it like this. I like it like that. I like it dusty. I like it. It ain't dusty, man.

It's just worn. I like a worn hat. You ever see a hat so worn? and it's got that sweat halo around it. Dude, baseball player. Baseball players live and die by that shit. It was like if you had one of those, you were either the best shortstop in the state

or you were a fat piece of shit who was terrible. And both can be really good. Everybody loves the fat guy on a baseball team. They're so funny. They're so funny, dude. Because baseball's your time to shine. I don't know shit about baseball, but I feel like on the football field,

like, yeah, there's funny guys. but there's too many guys on a football team. I'll run together, same numbers, same exact, you know, that guy's funny, but there's a guy, two guys down that's the same version of him,

kind of funny too. But baseball, you got a fat guy, bro. He's hilarious. Yeah. Because he, like,

can't do shit. Yeah. And he's in on it. He knows it. He's like, I can't, fuck, we're running,

sprints. Right. And you're like, wow, we're about to beat the shit at this guy. Right. In football, there's like a lot of these guys.

Baseball, it's, just fucking smithy over there. Not so funny. And a coach likes him. It's Smitty. He's over there. And he's always got the jokes. And he's the first baseman that don't play a lot. But then whenever he does, everybody's like, ooh. Yeah, the crowd. Smitty. He's the guy on the bench in the dugout that like leads all the fucking like, you know, talking all the shit. Talking all a shit and like if they if it's like a college team or high school team whatever would like pull the arrows you know or something like to add like have snipers ready or whatever the fuck he's leading

that charge he's got he kind of has a dip hook up too yeah at high school oh yeah for sure like his older brother who was like a state wrestler you know he still takes care of him where'd you get your cha smitty's got the hook up yep smitty came through with a log fucking brought the log brought the log brought the log to the football tailgate he's getting you're fucking dapped up for a long time bro till semi state the football

tailgate the baseball players all showing up with their pullovers the fucking chewing one of them's puking down the fucking street in the side alley oh yeah what happened to

what happened to carry oh he's fucking puking she was logged in behind the dugout before the tailgate you logged in or logged out it's a new dip lingo old schepsky once gave me a dip on monday night

wow he was a walking dip can I know I wanted to but my dad ran up on me like I was 12 years old yeah I would have got that too and then I would have said I didn't said no and then I didn't I saw him whip it out he whipped it out so quick man and then I didn't have a spitter so that you know he looked just so cool

cool to like chill like with like it's normal it's interesting seeing like so after the game on me that me and ben went to on monday we got uh Alex Highsmith we met up with his family and his buddy Nick and they took us down to where like the family and the friends go after the game to be able to see a you know the guys and say what's up before they go on the tunnel you know the fashion tunnel you see before games yeah like Russell Westbrook's wearing this weird ass thing this time right we were by the Steelers one right And it's interesting to see, especially post game, like what guys come out in. You know, you had all sorts of variation.

I would have been super slumming. Right. Coming out. Yeah, you had guys. Unless you put up number, like super numbers and you're going to be like top 10 plays. Then you get fitted for press conference. But if you just like, I don't know. But I wonder if they, do you think that they pack, I mean, you play college ball, like maybe on your road games?

Like, did you pack? Like, would you wear something? to the game and then you're like, this is what I'm wearing out no matter what, or would you have multiple outfits? Because I'm wondering if that's what they do. They show up fitted, but they have a little sweatsuit or something.

They've all got travel gear. They probably have their travel gear, something really nice that they're going to turn some heads in and then something like comfortable in between that's not their like team issued stuff. Right. Because like Cam Sutton was wearing like kind of some trendy jeans with some low top Nike dunks and like a,

but he had, It's all about comfort. It's comfort, but then he had on also like a, not even a fedora. It was like a just one of those old school type of hats. Yeah. And so it was like a mix of like comfort. It was like that middle like you said. Which is weird because I thought Mike Tomlin would be like a military like, you know,

like we're all wearing the same thing. I guess that's not how NFL works at all. Yeah. Coach Tomlin brought, he walked out. He was wearing Air Force ones during the game. And he walked out in Jordan Tens after the game. That's insane, bro. the luggage.

Right. Like you're packing all that for one night? I guess that's the time to do it though. Christian Coons, Long Snapper had like a literal mini cooler that like your mom would pack like waters and cold turkey sandwiches for you. That sounds good.

He had that, excuse me, burpee boy. I love you burpee boy. Whoa. He had that and he just had like bush lights at him and I was like, oh, fuck yeah, dude. What a guy. Makes sense. Good for you.

Wasn't there something where you, oh yeah, you're not allowed to get drunk on a plane anymore in the NFL? Or are you? I don't know the rules on that exactly. I think they came out like they, I think they came out. Somebody's offensive coordinator just got wrecked on playing. No, literally. Who's not? Right. But the Titans, after they beat the Packers on Thursday night football in Lambo, he got a DUI. Uh. And so like they, and then I think with all these videos coming out, piece of shit. I think all these videos coming out with like Kirk Cousins. and everybody like celebrating crazy in the plane. They're like,

maybe we should get it. But I'm like, I think it's fucking awesome. Like you just play an NFL game. Yeah, you should be able to get drunk. My dumb ass was like, how far does he live away from the stadium?

That's what I, that's the first thing I thought of when he got a DUI. Piece of shit. I was like, well, if it's five minutes away, like, I don't really blame him.

I'm just kidding. Oh my God. Also, it's like, don't you think that they could get like one of the PR interns to drive them home. Hey, I don't know, Uber. Right. But even you don't have like a Titans login for Uber. Lift Titans zero zero six. You don't get a free riders. Lift Titans zero six password Eddie George. Eddie George. Hack and the hack the whole thing. Yeah. I got a free

lift for life. Hack the Titans. Oh yeah. Do you have another login? Yeah, it's Curse 07. Y-check 91 Could go all day, bro Don't tempt me. Kevin Dyson's 330 Just all the dude We're hooking up all our friends With Titans like lift logins

Holy shit Hey keep gone Kevin Maui 53 Joe Nedney 06 Rest and peace actually I'm trying to I can't go too far at this, but I want to keep going. I'm trying to think of some defensive players on the team.

Hey. Lorenzo Neal. He was a 4-9-41 on Lyft. Oh, trust me, you don't have to explain who that is. No, but he was, like, before he was, because he was with, like, the chargers and shit for a while, I think. Yeah. But he was the dude who started the, uh, the mini-or, fuck. that Music City Miracle

he threw that pass backwards or he picked it up handed it to Whycheck Yichick tossed it backwards of Kevin Dyson best played in football ever totally illegal too

was it definitely throw it forward sometimes you gotta let it ride bro the rest are like shit's too dope just for the moment too cool walk off walk off walk up hey what's it called the music city miracle

yeah during the player, ref was like music. We got let this one fly. We already got a headline in the paper, let a ride. I don't care if it's illegal. Bro, you want to keep. I want to keep doing dope.

I want to keep coming up with Lyft names. This is my favorite game ever. I know there's a safety on the Titans. His last name was Bishop. Blaine Bishop. Plain Bishop 29. Dude, yeah. Plain Bishop would wreck my dreams, bro.

And they played the Steelers growing up. I'd be like, fuck, Blaine Bishop. Went to Ball State. He went to Cathedral. Shut up. Swear to God. Yeah. He went to cathedral than the ball state.

My dad had a class with him. That's crazy. Yeah. My dad was always like, yeah, man, I had a class with him. He always said he was going to the NFL. I was like, and then he did. Whoops. I'm so league, bro.

Name of time somebody said they're going to the NFL and actually gone. Yeah. Never. That's crazy. Unless you're LeBron James. I don't even know if he said it. Who else is on that Titans team, bro? But there definitely was Desmond Mason.

Wait, no. that's Eric Mason, bro. Derek Mason. Go to, Derek Mason 87 on Lyft and you get a free ride. Let's be courtesy of the Titans.

Let's do Packers. Packers players? Yeah. Antonio Freeman 86. Hey, what's the code for the Packers Lift? It's on Green 31. Who's not going to,

who's not remembering that? Even a girl that hasn't watched one Packers game and be like, it's on Green 31. You know. Antonio Freeman. No, like, dude, come on. Show him some love.

BJ Raji triple zero. Bro, I know you got one more code for the Packers. Can you send it to me? Yeah, yeah, it's Bubba Franks 88. So you had to squeeze one last one out of me. This is so stupid. Somebody tries to hack the system with FAR 4. That's definitely

fucking used already. Like, duh, you didn't know Oh my God Bubba Franks It was nasty bro What a fool What a poll Oh my God McKenzie 30

No I'm just walk it off Walk it off Walk off Bubba What a name dude God damn I wish I had a name like that Bubba Bubba Franks Like bro just imagine your name's

Bubba Franks The fact that Franks is still Part of your name That people say Dude that name Could that name could lend you to do so many things as a career. Bubba Franks.

This is pot. Bubba. His podcast called Bubba. Like, frankly, Bubba. Could, own a barbecue shop?

A sauce. A hot dog stand. A sauce. Bubba's dogs. Bubba's Franks, dude. Cold laugh, dude.

Dude, I'm literally dying. Hey, can we get a dude counter on this podcast? That has to be the dude I just said, including that one. It has to be like 647. Ding, dude.

Dude ding. Every time we say dude, a ding happens. Ding, ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ditty, ding. I'm just thinking of more Bubba stuff. Bubba stuff. Bubba stuff, dude.

It's a drawer in his house with all the bullshit in there. Bubba stuff. It's a donut shop. Bubba stuff. Can I get three Bubba stuff? You want jelly? You want cream?

That Packer special has like a cheese fill. Stupidest podcast of all. You mean best? Is this our counter up here? Yeah, counter of how many minutes we should have stopped to go. Oh, end this podcast before the world blows up. Oh, dude. That is so good.

Bubba Frank's in that window and that building across the street. It takes us out of the sniper. Blaine Bishop comes in here, bags up my body, drags it out. No better way I'd want to go. How'd he die? How do you die? Bubba said frankly, I'm tired of it. Sky!

The O2 Pro Bowl stars send out a hit on the These Guys podcast. Dude, that's going to unlock so many memories for people. What, those players? Bubba Franks.

I kind of want to, I mean, we got, we got nine minutes. You want to keep rolling on another team. I think we got to walk off Bubba Franks. All right. That was unreal.

That was unreal. All right. underneath the tree, huh? Wyatt pulled up the list of Christmas songs here. Okay, yeah, this is what we're talking about. So what's your top three? Let's go three, because five, I mean, it's a little overwhelming. I don't see, I, but it's just, it's ever changing, man, it really is.

You know, because it's like, who's not liking mella caliki maka? So how long did it take you to realize that that's like, melly and caliki maka was Merry Christmas and it wasn't all just Malikiliki Ma. you know. I don't know if I had no idea of them. You kind of put me on that song. Oh, that video he did. Yeah, you kind of put me on.

Like I knew of it, obviously, but I wasn't really into it like that until you were like, I think there's something to be said for the old, uh, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, that's fire. I wish it was Christmas today.

I don't care what your mama says. Hey, hey, we got to, we got to decide. now. Are we doing that video? Oh, yeah. We are? We got to get cracking, bro. You got plenty of time. Yeah, we did that shit in like one hour last year. Why it was fucking taking us around and shit. Videographers requesting a raise over here.

Where should we go? Where should we go? Why it was like, bro, we can break into the YMCA and do it in their sauna if we want. I was like, wow. Okay. Ben almost had us die because we went up on top of monument circle at Emis and we were literally standing over the edge. The amount of times I've almost died on that thing. I was like, I really had to just, I think I closed my eyes. Like I probably know the smartest thing to do there.

Close my eyes and fall forward. No, not to fall forward just because I was like, I'm just getting through this. I'm just moving my hips. I'm getting through it. Pumping the arms, moving the hips. Okay, we're done. It is like a Christmas tradition, dude. I've done it every year.

Since 17 or 18. We have no more locations left. I know that is tough. We got locations. Oh yeah? What do you got in your back pocket? Santa dance. Why would you give it to the people right now?

That's true. Because maybe it's not even about like the look. I don't know. Dude, I swear I've done it everywhere. I went into a fucking hooters one year. Mm-hmm. That's the level of desperation I was out. The year that you did it in the middle of the plane aisle,

I was like, wow. Whoa, Spirit Airlines. I was like that. I was like, I'm gonna, I was like, this is gonna be a big, like, yeah. You got, I mean, that is commitment right there, dude. Well, it was funny because I was like, it's gonna be so weird if I just walk in the airport wearing the Santa shit. And I was like, it's Christmas.

Who gives a fuck? People are wearing this dumb shit everywhere. Yeah. And I was on Spirit Airlines. I was like, can I, can you film me doing a dance on this airplane? And the lady was like, hell yeah. I was like, one of the workers? Yeah, it was like a flight attendant.

Oh, fuck. It was on spirit. So I don't care about it. You could literally hijack the plane. They'd be like, take it for a spin. Hey, you got a Santa hat on? Cool. I'll film you.

You're bringing the reindeer width? Yeah. Who's driving this thing? Blitzing? But, uh, yeah, dude, but I saw that. I was like, shit. I'm like, next level. A little hot sweaty.

Just thinking of all the people being like, who the fuck? The lady, like, rolling her eye for filming it. But she was cool. I needed it. I needed it. Yeah, I wanted those people in the background to be like, hey, sit down.

Yeah. She's going to do something crazy. I think they were kind of, laughing now. I think they were in it. And I was like, oh, cool. It was literally like, jolly. It was literally December. It might have been Christmas Eve. If somebody would have said something, I've been like, shut the fuck up. It's Christmas Eve. Sona was good. Big fan of the racquetball court. That was a good one too. Oh yeah. Just standing on the wall of those dudes are absolutely smack at a racquetball. Man, those guys. Though, I was like, yo.

What a question to ask just some fucking racquetball players at LA Fitness that didn't even want to play a racquetball. Well, have you guys try to hit me? They're like, oh yeah, bro.

I was like, let's go. Yeah, I think this year, I think we might have to like really step in. I think we might have to like get on the court at the Pacers game.

Like during the Pacers game. What's up, we hit, uh, we got to hit up Kenny Moore this this year. Got to get on field. Do that. Bricking the secondary.

Soil even. Hey, Kenney Moore, can you just knock me the fuck out. On the cold. moment. See we do that. Lucas Oil. I got the hookup for IMS. Get a fucking car to go by. It's just not enough, but I got to get hit by the car. Oh yeah. Down with that. I think we have to step it up to like that level now. Maybe. So the planning might

have to begin. If you guys have tonight, McDations. Recommendations for Santa dance video. Big 10 championships in town this past weekend. We might have to do it. We should have had these costumes on during the Monday night game. Oh, God, bless America. It's always one of those. Wow. Who's planning ahead that far though? You're a loser if you're doing that.

I know. It would have kind of taken away from it. It's like, eh. And everybody at the game would have been big eye roll. We rolled her eyes at blue because he was dressed as saying already. It's like, come on. We should have done it. We should have done it.

Fuck. Well, we got our word cut out for us. These guys. These guys 11. Follow on YouTube. Watch on YouTube. Please. Throw us on in the living room while you're wrapping your presence and shit.

Ben kept his shoes on this week. You fell out of his chair. Yeah, you're wrapping presents. You clean it up. Families coming over. Come on. Send it to somebody bag of these guys. Well,

you're buying, well, you're buying Bubba Franks, for your nieces and nephews. Throw us on in the back. Follow on Spotify. Listen to us on Apple Pods. And buy some tics for Detroit on December 22nd.

Detroit House comedy. The donut throw shit. show. Yo. If you come to the Detroit House of Comedy show and come in with a dozen donuts and just whip them at us on stage, actually just do that. All right. Don't save shit for the meat and greed either.

But yeah, that's where you spike coffees on her head for the meeting and greet. But all right. See you next week. Peace.