THESE GUYS! - coach’s purple leg

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

this week the burpy bois take a moment of silence for hs sideburns (not a reminiscent podcast)⭐️ 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 / 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪 𝗽𝗹𝘀!📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🍻𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁Indianapolis - Dec 18 https://indianapolis.heliumcomedy.com🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Rutherford - Jan 9 https://www.bananascomedyclub.com/shows/285024Chicago - Feb 12 https://chicago.zanies.com/show/benedict-polizzi-special-event/zanies-comedy-club-chicago/chicago-illinois/Rosemont - Feb 13 https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/70209203/benedict-polizzi-special-event-rosemont-zanies-rosemont?partner_id=100

Slot my ass like you're hanging out two days before Xmas Eve. All your shopping is done and you're in that weird time period wondering if you could hang with the fam or hang out with your ex because you're on winter break. You're honest. That's the weirdest time ever. You just celebrate Christmas and be with the fan, but then also black out three to four times and pick up a new hoppier,

or change your major. Change your major based on a Christmas gift you got. Oh my God. Not bad for a fat guy. These guys. TG113. TG113 Cheers

Check check Check it out Can we check it out Hey check it out Hey check it out We're in bro It's our time It's our time

Right now's our time And a little gift for everybody These guys in the basement Couldn't wait to come in here These guys together Yeah No coast to coast These guys in Joe's basement

Bucca MF Beppo cleaned up down here No nobody can see it but god dang This wood floor Not bad Yeah you know Love a wood floor

Do my due diligence You know it's a holiday's coming up You're thinking about having people over Never stay You always offer never stay Oh to stay the night Who would ever do that But it's kind of like

I mean I got a whole fucking apartment down here It's true I got a whole room Queen size bed full closet You could pack and hang your shit up You just can't be yourself and somebody else's house. You have your own bathroom with a shower.

He just can't be yourself and somebody else's crib. I did it last night, dude. Stay at some random comedians apartment. And I was like, this is fine. But I'm not, but I'm not, you know. No, I couldn't be myself. They're like, you want a shower? I was like, yeah, but I take weird showers.

Like, I take a shower where I don't like run the water through the head. I take a shower like a, like it's a well and I'm an orphan or something. You know what I'm talking about? I mean, for you, yeah, that makes sense. So I was like the whole time I was taking the shower and the water was pouring out of the spout thing from the wall. I was like, they're probably like he doesn't know how to work the shower. And I'm inside the, in the shower. Like, don't worry.

I got it. Like, this is me. Yeah. But see, that's the thing. That's the difference is I'm talking about like, I don't know, my sister and her husband, my brother-in-law, not my, not fucking Sean Latham. But, you know. $20 chef. I love

I love 20 I love Sean like them but it would be like that's what you're talking about like you know then I can understand him being like yeah because I

probably wouldn't an offer I would I mean if it came down to it I would offer but I'm talking about Christmas break December 22nd it's so Christmas break right now

Christmas break I am DJ Dionne shout out every you'll see it you'll see the tweet every Christmas break for like the last six years he hasn't done the last three

I've been checking. Christmas break I am. I was like, oh, it's on, man. Man, I know,

I know he is ready to go. It feels like Christmas break right now. Sometimes it doesn't. It does. But we are in the basement. We're recording Monday night, late night.

Another late night cord sesh. God, nothing better. Ben's in town. Holidays are here. These guys live coming up. 10.30 p.m. coffee.

I get your tickets. Hey, Wednesday. That's, that's tomorrow. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. Helium comedy club.

downtown Indianapolis get your tickies right under here or go to either of our websites go to helium grab them um it can be a show uh we'll have fun where where the jersey that your mom and girlfriend hates wear that to the show half half of the show is just looking at jerseys and talking about kind of yeah that's half of my life yeah i was kind of already like laying out like what's the ideal wednesday night in turn what's the ideal night going to look like for me on Wednesday night. Maybe something like this for you in the clubhouse out there. You know, maybe it's, hey, we're going to get downtown, downtown indie at like 5.30.

Yeah. We're going to go to the spaghetti factory. Oh, that's crazy. Really? If you're going with your burpee girl, maybe. Oh, like a date, you're wrapping this into a date night. You're wrapping into a date night. You have a few scenarios.

Go with the burpee girl, take a little spaghetti factory, sit in the train, right? Oh. You're having a little fun. Hey, hey, free ice cream. after. Right? We're elevated. We're having gelada. A bed for bed guy. You're having that. It's right across the street. Then all of a sudden, bam, as you're walking there, like Benny always says, you're looking up. There's a tree right down the road. Boom. Hey, should we? We're going to take a pick. Let's do it after. Cool. A couple picks. Right? You come into these guys, have a good time for, you know, an hour and a half, two hours or so.

Yeah. Yeah. Then maybe, you know, maybe. Hey, grab a pick with us on the way out, you know? We got to get a fam or clubhouse. We got to get picks. We got to get picks. You can, I mean, you know, I know that's still espresso, but like, yeah, I still get a little crossover. Saw a guy this past weekend. He was just like, hey, man, I'm day one. I'm day one from espresso fan. That's crazy. Appreciate you. Just had a show in Sacramento. A lot of clubhouse there. Guy wears the same jersey every day. Why wouldn't I? It's sick. It really is. I couldn't believe I found it. I'm going to, I'm going to finish up

this, this little game plan here. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go this little game plan here. have a show take some picks have some fun right get some merch maybe i don't know wear a cool jersey probably not the spaghetti factory maybe actually yeah go ahead then afterwards it's like hey we can get a pick by the circle too hey i think maybe you know i think joey said something maybe he's going to the district tap across the street oh shut up maybe just like a post show beer you know because it's fun and it's christmas and there's no rules and we'll just talk about nca 06 for like three hours no rules on christmas you know so so that that could be an option you know maybe you're getting the, hey, I got some of the, I got my, I got the old JV staff together, right?

We're, we're telling the wives and the girlfriends that were going to Killroy's downtown to game plan for how we want Swatowski to be coming out of the backfield this upcoming year. Should we put them in motion? Right, exactly. Get a little bit of that talk going on. Should he kick out the end? You can seal. Get the fingers going, get the coach hands going.

At Kilroy's on one of those tables, the breadsticks coming? I'm bringing athletic tape. You know, you know that the breadsticks are coming. for the JV staff, dude, with pitcher of beer. Maybe I think Wednesday is like a Long Island iced tea day on Wednesday night. Not that we ever. If I remember correctly, it has been literally like 10 years because I'm old as shit. But you're doing that.

AMS. Right, right, right, right, right. You do that, then you pop on over to healing him again. Then boom, all of a sudden, we're doing the same shit. And then, hey, you know, maybe it's a Wednesday night at a howl at the moon. I don't know. But those are all options on table. So just let's have a Christmas break night.

Get your takeies. It's going to be really fun. Can't wait to see you. throw donuts at my head. I did want to go back to the inviting people to stay over. Because I think you have, you know, you're always kind of longing as an adult. You're like, man, I want that sleepover feeling. You know, sleep over a special feeling.

I know you didn't do it much as a kid. But it's even more special when, you know, other adults then decide they're like, yeah, we're just going to crash and stay the night because it happens so irregularly as you become an adult. You're like, holy shit, this is really like that's a whole time of year. It makes you feel like they really like us. Yeah. Like the way through, they really, every time somebody asks me to, you can stay. I'm like, you don't really want me to stay.

I get that. I'm like, that means leave, you know? Ah, yeah, the old opposite. Me and you tend to, yeah, kind of thing. The opposite. Yeah. Have another. Yeah, come on.

Okay, I get it. I'll order my Uber. Say, you said enough. Dude, sometimes it's want to get a beer and that's, that happened to me at a comedy club. You're so fucked, dude. Hey, you want to get a beer with us? I was like, all right, I'll get out of here. Thanks.

Thanks for us. I get it. I see it. My family and my wife, they just 100% you have to lay the blame on you for why I'm so fucked up. Hey, you're right though. Just remember deep down. You're right.

It's just, yeah, it's so funny though how that goes. I just, I've never had a situation where I'm like, stay, come on, we got room, stay. And everybody doesn't happen. Doesn't happen. Doesn't happen. Guy who just drank all your coffee. Did you really? Yeah, it's fine.

It's getting there. But I don't know what that was, but it just takes off so much of the pressure. You know, because then around this time of the year, you know, it's a 19th, right, people are over. You want to have some wine. You want to have another. But in the back of your head, they're like, man, they're thinking about leaving already. They've got to get back with the dogs. They've got to drive home.

They don't want to leave their car. But if somebody else commits to stay in the night, I'm so staying in the night. Ah, you just need the seal breaker. I'm just like, you look at your boy from across the room. You're like, dude, what if we just did? What if we just stayed the night? Okay, see, now we're talking about a little bit of a different thing, though, because you're talking about like middle school or high school where like maybe you were in the...

I'm picturing myself at a Christmas party at your house. And I look at like one of the homies. And I'm like, dude, we're kind of trash. Let's just stay and see if like Joe you'll hang out with us too all night. What if we just did one of those? Dude, I would be so down. Man, honestly, like, Rye was kind of pressing me for a while. Like, what, what do you want for Christmas?

You know, we talked about this. I'm like, I don't really fucking know what to ask for. If I could go back, I think maybe next year I was going to play. I'm just going to be like, you know what I want? I want just a night where like Ben and Andy Ward and Dylan come over. And like, we have a good time. And like, all of a sudden they just hit me with like, hey, dude, we're staying the night. Oh, my God.

All I need is one more. If somebody's in with me, I'll stay. But I'm not going to be the guy. It's just weird in your basement. I want to throw it out there, you know, but then I want to forget about it because then I want to come back to it. And it's like, again, December 19th of 2025. And Ryan's like, hey, I think Dylan and Andy and Ben are coming over. Oh, what?

You surprised me with that? Oh. Oh, by the way, they're staying in the night. Kids are at your parents. Oh! Stay up all night. We just called Bapa Johns. She pulls up Gorillas, though, on YouTube TV.

TV. Bro, I would bow down. I would bow down, bro. You'd see me in church clothes. I automatically have a polo cargo shorts on and data sea webs on. Yeah. That's, that's my wish. That's my one wish.

I go back. I only wish this year. How about that? Dudes just always want to do that, no matter how old they are. Well, I just stay over to stay up before I am and just not have any rules. Like, I don't really like, I don't know. like girls don't do that I don't want to do that

girls aren't like air friars and shit we're just like we just want to play NCAA and like listen to and as much as I love you guys like I don't want that to be a regular I just I just want once a year as a gift December 19

December 19 it's such a good day it's such not over yet but kind of I mean you know the whole Rigamore Roll Clubhouse there's a bowl game on we plug it in the 64

PS2 after this Papa Johns is on the way it's two 30 in the morning. Dude, I dirty to eat the pepper. Eat it, pussy. It's 2.30 a.m. and like the music just continuously gets louder of guerrilla's oh.

Oh my God. Yeah, you're starting to get text at like 244 a.m. Turn it down. Okay. This gift's run on long enough. This isn't happening next year. But then by that point, see, that's the greatest because then at that point, like, what are you going to do?

Take it away. You become a child. Well, yeah, I'm already in this far. What are we going to do? Start talking shit. Put your pillow over your ears. Yeah, you stay up until 445. You're just like, look, I'm going to deal with tomorrow's consequences tomorrow, even though it's like three hours away.

You're just living in the moment. That's living in the moment, Clubhouse. Not that this is a reminiscent podcast or anything like that. Yeah, I was, dude, I'm not going to lie. I was in before you got here. So a little rundown for everybody. Yeah, my kids go to sleep at 630, 7. Crazy.

So does my mom. So they went down easy tonight. And so Ben was coming over to record. And he was like, yeah, I'm landing later. I was like, yeah, that's cool. And we figured it would be a throwback late night, which is great. And so I'm sitting there and riding. The kids are already upstairs.

I'm just sitting downstairs. And I find myself actually having time to delve into TikTok a little bit. Oh, baby. What did you see? Bro. Hot, hot, hot. No. I was on cry.

I was on cry TikTok. Cry talk? Dude. It was insane. It was like the most, it was just a continuous run. It was like the algorithm was reading me in real time. The skin in your face, baby. Everything started coming up about like fatherhood and being a dad.

Oh, I've cried on one of those too. Dude, I've cried more in my life on TikTok than in real life. Man, everything started coming up with that or like, have you seen the shit? It's like a book or a poem. But it's about how like one day you, one day was your last day living with your siblings and you didn't even realize it? Bro, I hate those. I love them. Dude, when I tell you that I had Monday night football on and I was, hey, you had to turn it down to watch the TikTok?

I was shaking. Was anybody else here? No, it was just me in the living room. Ryan, kids are upstairs to sleep already. it was insane dude and i couldn't stop i would just scroll on the next one like hey and then you'd scroll and it wouldn't be what you wanted and you keep scrolling until you find another one that makes me yeah find another one that makes me feel like i'm going to throw up the dad the dad handing everything to his son that one have you seen that oh bro don't don't

don't get me started on the father son cry talk and they all have this song they all have this song uh i'm gonna i'm gonna it's not gonna be three seconds Is that really the... Yeah. Dude. Can't. It's the music that always gets me. Dude.

I get it out of here. Oh, man. It was like for about 45 minutes and I was just... And also, too, it was such a weird mix totally... I mean, this is what it is. This mix catered totally towards me because you have something about fatherhood that'd make me cry. Something about your siblings that would make me cry.

then something would come up of David Baker from the Pro Football Hall of Fame welcoming Pete Manning. Has to make it a sports podcast. Holy shit. Bro, I was like, what is going on? Oh, yeah. But what's even crazier, though, man, is once I stopped and I got that cry out, I feel like I have like a new outlook for at least like the next three days.

That's some dude, dude crying right there. It's like, you know, well, you don't know. But movies, like, it's a wonderful. life, right? Like people, you know, those kind of movies that you watch them and after you watch them, you're like, oh yeah, yeah, you like, see things differently. I'm gonna fucking attack the world. I'm gonna see things differently. I'm gonna seize the day. I'm gonna do all this shit. That's just what happened with me on Cried Talk. Dude, I got on motivation talk one time. Oh, that's dangerous because you get some of those fucking people that I make fun of.

They're like, it's not Wednesday. It's Wednesday. You know, like that guy. Yeah. I always hear them out, but I'm like, this guy's actually insane. you know I'm like what's the message here but this guy's over I want to interrupt I don't want to mess up my mic can you can you fill me up there Johnny

all over your couch doesn't matter safe color no one's down here this couch has been through COVID all good thanks boss so do I

because I took a bus yesterday hmm well there goes that all right motivation talk let's go yeah you get on motivation TikTok

uh dude I've watched motivation TikTok and broke up with the girl the next day. Sorry to God. I was like, you know what? These dudes are right.

I actually did that. What the fact? Like, what is, what do you even mean? What's happening? Sent to the link. Just saying, babe. Priorities. Get your shit together.

Yeah. No one, no one is thinking that you're making that up either. I'm not. That is a hundred. saved it on my TikTok. I'll put it in the link. Yeah, you ever have? Oh, these guys live show, the TikTok that made me break up with my girlfriend right under. It's really weird though, because I'm in an odd spot because my sister, she don't have TikTok. She refuses to get it. Which sister? The middle one. Stripping. Why? It's insane. I'm like,

everybody should have TikTok. I'm like, you're missing out on so much. She's like, no, I'm really not. And I see it through you. I'm like, but you don't. But I mean, I get what you're saying. But, So what I do is that like once a month or so whenever we're together, I'll say, I'll be like, let's go. Let's catch up. I'll go through my likes of my videos. And it's all off the wall. It's funny shit.

It's football stuff. But now I'm in a situation. It's like this upcoming Saturday. We got a little sibling sleepover situation. Oh. We got the dogs up. Sorry. We got.

I was like, that sounds like a person. It's kind of scary. I mean, rash, probably with him. But whatever. It's a total stranger. house right now. Do I lock the front door? Whoops. It's Mark McGuire. You know, we're going to have to pause this.

So that milk mustache, is that real? It's Dennis Miller. Dude, as some reason I meant Indianapolis this week, Chief. If we got him as a guest on the show, no one would care, but man, would that be the funniest? Why? I don't know.

Three people. Dennis Miller. No way next week? Holidays are all crisscrossed. But I run the gamut, though, going back, got siblings sleepover. So I'm going to be over there. I've already told her. So we're going to sit down.

We're going to catch up. Now I'm going to be in there. And I'm going to be in my likes. And all of a sudden, one of these things about your siblings is going to come up. And I'm going to feel weird and like I want to cry. My sister's not really like that. It's a big time trap, dude. Yeah.

Showing other people your TikTok. That's like, that's more. I'd rather show people my entire ass than my TikTok. Show us a little. bit about you on your TikTok. Actually, zips, unzips pants. Just take a look. Yep, this bends over, spreads them. You're not seeing my TikTok. That's all I'm saying. I'm in control. I don't just hand it over willy-nilly to, uh, I've done that before. I've done that before with a girl. Let's see your 4U page. I was like, yeah, whatever. Handed her my phone. I was like,

this is not going to go over. I don't ever get hot? Like, I was, you don't do the 4U page. You go into your likes. My thing, it was. It was. It was. For once my TikTok was clean. Yeah. Just just normal stuff. I was like, wow. I was on there. And that's,

I was in that weird little rabbit hole crying for like 40 minutes before you got here. So. Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't tell her anything. I was trying to get a little of the cry, sexy voice going.

Yeah, that's up. Yeah, a little bit of that. A little bit of the deep rasp. Good to see. Right. Um, So, yeah, that's, I don't know. Anyway.

You ever been in that situation before. Every night of my life. Yeah. So, dude, I tweeted about it today. And I really, with this coming up, this week, I really feel like it's like, you know, when you see on NFL practice reports when somebody like Cam Hayward, they're like, Wednesday, D&P Veterans Rest Day. No, I didn't know that was the thing.

Yeah. So, like, when the teams put out their injury reports every day, right? During practice week. And so often, especially this time of year, you'll see a huge injury report, but it's really just like six of the 10 guys on the injury report are veterans that are just getting a veteran the day of rest. Because, you know, their bodies are getting older trying to preserve them. Oh, yeah. So they'll play on game day, but they won't practice on like Tuesday and Wednesday or Wednesday and Thursday or whatnot because they're just like, you know, I'm just here.

I'm taking care of my body. Is that like PTO in the NFL? I don't think so. Hey, yo boss. Yeah. Hey, yeah, little veterans. Personal day. Little veterans, D&P.

But this week for me and I feel like a lot of people, like it's, you got to, you got to, it's got to be veterans rest day. Veterans Rest Week. Really? I guess this is the week to do that. When's Christmas? You got to Wednesday, the 25th, but you know, you go Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Monday is the 23rd. That's Christmas.

That's real Christmas. 23rd, you're on. Right. So that's what I'm saying. I'm looking at my calendar. I'm like, I got a gamut here, man. Like the Steelers have three games at 11 days. I got the 21st or the 25th, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

like i rest days no like this is these are my rest days like i got to take care of my body get my body right so that i come this weekend and into christmas eve and shit i can survive the gamut so they play it's like what days i played on sunday yeah play again on saturday and they play again on wednesday on christmas day that's insane dude isn't that crazy that is actually that's a lot game it is it's a ridiculous amount you know but the almighty dollar at the nfo you know it is what it is nobody cares but like you know i'm so i'm going all like i'm you know i'm just really because typically you know thursday night me and ryle have a little bit of wine or something maybe the boys meet up for some beers such a turn Thursday's such a lit night yeah you get you know all these christmas

parties going on during the week at the office you know maybe a little office happy hour at four on a Tuesday or some shit or a Thursday. I'm just like, bro, I think you got a veteran rest day that shit because then all of a sudden rolling into Friday night, Friday night I got a Christmas party. Saturday I got sibling sleepover. Sunday

fucking, I don't know, dinner with other families. Monday, Christmas basically. Like what nights of that are you not having some wine? Just eating bullshit. Oh my God. I can't wait. You know? I'm going crazy on Christmas. So, you know, this

week all going through, I'm just like fucking, I'm getting the pedi light. I'm getting the water going. I'm getting, I'm just fucking greens and grilled chicken. That's it. Yep. Prep, dude. Some fruit. Like, I'm making sure that at least when I get to that. So then on Christmas Eve, when I'm looking around, I'm like, fuck, I get a break in the night. Yeah. It's like, hey, man, you put in the work last week. This is what it's all for. Just like those veterans, you know, they're like, hey. Prepping for game day, dude. I probably could. Look, you know, Cam Hayward probably. could practice on Wednesday of a game week but he doesn't

I probably could have a glass a solid glass of wine on a Wednesday probably a little different this week because of the chef like Thursday I probably definitely could have two glasses of wine you go on you go on how you battle in the the H.O.

The hangover figure it out you got a game plan what's your attack man come this weekend it's just fucking that's just part of the business, baby. You're just rolling with it. Showtime.

That's showbiz. Just pop in what you. I think you buy a 24 pack of water bottles. Just rip them. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to have to take that approach, you know. Friday night, big,

the 10th annual Christmas party with the friends. So, you know, you got to do what you got to do there. The Kroger water. For some reason, that water and that bottle is so easy to drink. You know? I was never a fan of the Kroger water,

but I hear what you're saying. But you know, like that bottle that you can like honestly just like crush with your hands so easily. It always had this much vodka in the back of your trunk in high school. That bottle, bro, take them out. I felt like you today because I was just pissing so much. Say what? I felt like you today because all I was doing was just pissing. I had to dehydrate myself today.

Travel day? Maybe one cup of coffee. Airport coffee. The line, bro. Are you kidding me? That's where you gotta just find some fucking bullshit place. Like you gotta find Shake Shack that's randomly open for breakfast and they serve coffee because no one's in the Shake Shack line. I was on that.

I went to Jamba Juice. I was like they gotta have a coffee machine. A cup of coffee? Yeah. Come on, man. Nothing. Ooh. Insane.

The only place in there were Dunkin' Donuts. Vegas Airport. Come on. Six million people in one. Bro. And they're getting everything but coffee. Yeah. Six donuts?

You want all these breakfast sandwiches? Yo! Dude, I asked for a cup of coffee. The whole staff goes, all they got to do is turn around. Here, thank you, bye. I was like, do I even have to pay? Right.

Bear it, beep, boy. Yeah, that's what Duncan is. It's what it should be. They really went away from, oh my God. They really went away from the acting like they don't sell donuts. I think it's so funny.

Dunkin' Donuts? I hate it. I'm like, guys, come on. I hate it. They don't even put donuts in their name? I hate it. Shut up. Yeah, we're just dunk it.

Hate it. What about the pink donut? The sprinkles on it right in front of my goddamn face that I want to eat like I'm Homer Simpson every single day in my life. And you're just going to act like you're all healthy. That's where you go. That's where I go cow herd on them, you know? Because I'm just like, hey, can we get a minute? As cowherd?

I mean, yeah, dude, dude, dude is coward. Oh my God. Oh my God, do it. I'll be so sick. Dude, dude, please. So I saw Duncan dropped the donuts from their title. Bro, go. Look at Starbucks.

Look at Amazon. They do what they do well. Duncan, you're known for the donuts and the coffee. I don't need a breakfast sandwich from Duncan. I don't need a lifestyle app from Duncan. What I need. as a Homer Simpson pink donut with sprinkles on it, right my face to start.

There you go. Sir, do you say it? And right as I did that, my fucking mic unplugged so sick! Just be Dunkin' man. Just be Dunkin' Donuts. Be Dunkin' Donuts. They know you for coffee and donuts.

I don't really like anything they do. But I will still buy it. Like in a pinch? Yeah, at the airport. But I can't really get, I can't really. There's nothing there that I'm, I'm like, oh my God. You never gone?

Oh, you know what? The munchkins. Nobody's doing it like that. They do kind of have that on everybody. Is Starbucks sold like just a couple other donuts? I'm saying. That's true. I always find myself.

I'm in there. I'm like looking at the coffee cake. I'm looking at the cake pops for my kid. You know, the muffin. That glass case will get you. But they are. I never do it because I'm like, you're missing just like a nice

little fucking donut. They do have one. They do? They do. And it's good, bro. They've got an OG glazed. It's cakey too. You'd like it.

They've got one donut. I don't think I've had that before. But if they like shocked the world and they had a little, they had a little something in there, people would go crazy. Because I think people go crazy over the cake pops. That's cake pop Starbucks. Never had a cake pop that I think is good.

And then I had Starbucks. And I was like, yo, this is it. Something about like the dampness of the cake. Oh my God, you're so right. So moist. You know what it would be? You know what it would sound like? It would be the donut on Home Alone that falls on the phone.

You know, I've never seen that. But I pulled up that clip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When the cop is on there. Definitely forgot. The cake donut falls from him taking a bite and it just, right on the phone after you're done

washing dishes the sponge that's that is a Starbucks cake pop nobody's doing it like that like if the cake pop fell off the stick onto your laptop

when you were sitting there working water damage it would no it would sound like that it would sound like that cake donut on home alone falling and hitting the phone show me a cake pop that even

holds a candle to Starbucks cake pop. I don't think, like, they're always, when somebody makes cake pop, they're always the wrong size. I'm like, it's a little too big. Wrong size, and I don't like them being fluffy on the inside.

No, give me, I want sponge. Yeah, I want to be able to fucking, I want to think about being able to take that and throw it like a short stop over to first base,

and it just fucking, boom, right on the window. Yeah, I want to knock somebody unconscious with a Starbucks cake pop. You know what? new fantasy alert what's your fantasy you know what you stand 25 feet away from me how about that

okay um what do you what do you okay this is kind of hot i think actually say yeah just hey against the wall against the wall good you because at least if you miss and it fucking explodes yeah put your arms out like your jesus all right okay now close your eyes and i just got six cake pops no dick in my left hand behind my back. I just start. I just start Don't try. I put my hat like Dondrell Willis. I just leg kick and everything.

Hike my knee up and just go to town, bro. Hits her right in the back of the throat. Oh my God. Actually, okay. I'm turned on. You just stand. Was that birthday cake? 25 feet away from me.

Oh my goodness. New fantasy unlocked. That's funny, man. Yeah, so I hope everybody out there is, uh... Not that I... Yeah, we want to throw donuts at people's heads and cake pops of people and, you know, it seems like it could be fun. Oh, my God.

Yeah, but that's for everybody out there, but this week, I hope that you're preparing yourself and your body, because it's true. It's just like, it's a perfect, it's a perfect parallel. Because, you know, these guys who are 34, in the NFL, they can't run like they used to when they're 23. And their bodies don't recover the same. You got to fucking, you got to get in the lab to take care of your shit before you go out there.

A lab. Run for 60 minutes, you know? Big prep week. Big prep week. Yeah. So I don't know what that looks like for you. But for me, I really, I was filling out the calendar and I was like, Jesus, dude. I got to like, and it's going to be the 23rd. I'm going to be tapped out. Am I going to be able to have any fun for actual fucking Christmas?

Anyways, how's a flight? Actually preparing for Christmas is crazy. Do you have connectors, Vegas? Dude, it was the worst. Worst travel ever. Didn't book it. Somebody else booked it. And I was like, yeah, sure.

Yo. Took a train to the show? You ever take a train all aboard? No. Oh my God. That was a... I can't believe I made it. Dude, we take a train.

You got to pay attention to the... stops. You know what I mean? Like we're stopping boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Six stop is Sacramento. I'm like, yo, okay. Like, what if I miss it? If I miss my stop, like, not going to the show.

Yeah. But, so yeah. Interesting. Train. Flight back. Two different flights. LAX to LV. Sacramento to Las Vegas, Las Vegas to Indy.

Two different airlines, had a check bags twice. guys got TSA pre-check though whoa damn big slab man fucking TSA pre-check uh yeah that took everything I got

that took everything I had in me to sign up for that worth it though oh my god yeah bro you can just breeze through it sometimes I'm like you guys don't even care I can have 12 rifles on me kind of don't think they even care I'm like yeah see all right cool Bro, they treat you like a king, man. Hey, TSA pre-TSA pre-check.

Hey, TSA pre-check. Six people escorting me. Yeah, you just got, he's got TNs, PHA, keep your shoes on. You want more shoes? You want our shoes? Put our shoes on your hands and walk through. Yeah, all the shoes.

You got your belt on? Here, here's my belt. I won't get through like a wallet phone. Yeah, oh yeah, dude. It's insane. Carrying me on their shoulders and shit. I'm like, why do I feel like, Mike Holmgren right now.

Give me my Packers starters. Mike Holmgren just looks so much like a walrus. It's so insane. I'm and Andy Reid, same guy. Whoa, yeah. Chiefs Packers. That always confused me as a little kid. Yep.

Packers Eagles? Same guy. Every year. I was like, well, who's coaching this team? How's he doing it from both sidelines? Wow. Same guy. Literal same guy.

Mm-hmm. who else was it the most interesting coach in the world how are you a coach uh mike martz always got me i'm like you're a tech guy yeah you did you made the rams website bro you don't coach their offense but it made sure it made sense the guy who's talking about 2002 nfl football if he would have been the defensive guy wouldn't have made sense offensive guy you're like all right you're analytical he's the first analytics guy ever dude yeah mike martz made up name made up football coach AI coach? Made of football coach.

First AI coach. Mike Holmgren and Andy Reed. Mike Holmgren was so grassroots Green Bay, dude. Hey, him and Reed on the same staff in Green Bay. Both coach Brett Farb. Hey, what a staff. I saw that NFL. I think Rood was on there too.

Oh, yeah. Those are ballers on it. There was like seven NFL coaches on that one staff. I couldn't, I could not believe my eyes the first time I saw that on an NFL network. I think I think. I called my dad. Yo, they were on the same staff. Wait, wait,

Andy Reed, coach Brett Farb under Mike home group? They pushed Gruden under the rug. Like, he was no, a nobody. I'm like, was he was just messing around

coaching like the gunners on punt return? Right. He was like wide receiver coach slash offensive assistant. Stack. Hey, that's one of those.

You don't know what you got until it's gone. You didn't know the last day the Green Baybacker's staff was coaching you. Legends. That song playing the background. Oh, man. Fucking get me, man.

That's tough. I was putting together that, I was putting together one of those promos for Wednesday. And I was about, I was about to put in clips from the Brett Farv Dad game, which was actually on December 23rd

of, I believe, 2003. It was when that game was played. That was what you were watching on TikTok. That made you cry. And so I was about to put of those clips in and it just didn't work out for kind of the vision I had for it, but I did watch the entire 10-minute highlight with Al Michaels and John Madden calling the action. So it was, yeah, I started the day emotionally and then I just ended it emotionally for a while. Hang. Yeah. Isn't that

crazy that that game of all games was played on December 23rd? Nope. Makes perfect sense. The show, our favorite day of the year, Brett Farr, Monday night football, December 23rd, and the black hole. Do you play with the Packers then? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was peak, Brett Far. Dude, who's the second duty through it to?

I think it was Javon Walker. Dude, he was a dog. Dude, 84. Javon Walker. I'm like, can we not, can we talk about this guy a little more? Put some respect on Javon Walker. Who's the dude they had like kind of recently? No, it was post-Brette-Far.

B.C. I mean, after death. A-B after Brett Packers A-B Packers A-F New Twitter handle Packers A-F

Why is it what Packers A-F like as-F? No like after Farr Come on man You know Had to retire my My BF Dude he was in Is it like

What what It wasn't Donald Driver It wasn't It was some dude that was just year after year Was it the dude that wore the hood James Johnson James Jones Johnson here

it might have been James Jones Randall Cobb he was good He was good He wasn't him now Dude it's always the quarter Not sports podcast It's always

Finley Pretty good Hey Lazard Michael Finley With the fucking You'd get up Oh what do you mean His celebration

Oh yeah don't move The Old Miss one The Landshark thing Yeah he was like That was hard Can we talk about that Dante Moncrief sometimes? I was like, I want to go to old miss.

Why are they called that? Question last week about players that you still believed in that disappointed you, Dante Moncrane for the Steeler. Hakeem Nix. Still has the jersey? Oh my God. Dude, Hakeem Nix,

I swear he can give you 10 catches tomorrow. Come on, man. That dude in college? Hey, Sammy Watkins, what happened? Ooh. Dude, Sammy Watkins in college, I was like, I can't look away. Every time he catches it, 98 yards.

How does he do it? Plays for the bills for three years, and I'm like, where are you? Then he went to the Chiefs, and he tore Richard Sherman at Super Bowl before COVID, and then he never heard from him again. So weird. Wow. What happened? Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, Jermichael Finley, man, he always like, man, when he got up and did that celebration, you were just like, it's over. It's done for. Doing that. Crowd's going nuts. Yeah, we mismatched nightmare. So either just like moss some corner, you know, or some nickel player. Or like the linebacker's too slow, just totally lost.

See you. Like, well, he's going to catch 12 balls to the over. Not a Packers podcast. Or a sports podcast. Nah. Anywho. Let's get to some clubhouse here. Oh, just open up that song and got to.

cry again. Please. Crycast. These guys, team, these guys at gmail.com. Hey, howdy, hey. So should we just, for the people on, well, I don't know. Kind of the idea we were talking about

for people who are coming to the show on Wednesday. Maybe you can get the ball rolling since this will be out tomorrow. Send them, bro. Send them. Send them. Send all you got. You got an email in your back pocket. I don't know when to send it. It's time. It's time. We'll see during the live show.

We're going all. We're going all out on the emails. Got something to say anything. Come on, babe. This is from Andrew. This is Howie Long Ironing Board. Oh, man. How straight would you sure it be?

No wrinkles. Station. No rap dish. Can I wait to hear you guys read the list of bowl games? It's so insane. Anyway, I figured y'all would get a kick out of this. At my high school, our running back coach used to make the running backs carry around a football at all times.

In class, in the hallways, in the locker room, you name it. He'd let rip the occasional ball security is job security or five points of pressure when he'd see them. We were encouraged to try to strip the ball out of their hands at any moment. Guy would not let the kids breathe. Slat my ass while watching Calvin Johnson top 50 most unbelievable plays of all time NFL highlights on YouTube. Kind of doesn't get enough respect either.

Hey, TikTok, David Baker, making Calvin Johnson cry. Welcome to the Hall of Fame. We did to talk about... Can we talk about Calvin Johnson for a little bit? Hey man. He had himself that 10-year run just said peace. I didn't think it was 10 years.

I think it was like eight years. Lions players just dipping out early. Yeah. I mean, Barry Sanders, Calvin Johnson. Just too. Like every lion's play. There's only been two. I got to check the battery real quick.

Yeah, Calvin Johnson breaking down, crying a little bit David Baker at his doorstep I don't know who David Baker is at all yeah you do he's a humongous guy like absolute bear of a man who anytime you see anything about the Hall of Fame like he does a knock on the door

those videos he's the president of the Pro Football Hall of Fame or something I saw him I'd probably probably know you definitely know him yeah we never had any of the coaches doing that really I don't think I volunteered to do that one time

I felt so bad when I fumbled, bro. I would like take myself out of the game a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Because everybody was so mad at me, bro. Yeah. Maybe that's just what I thought.

Probably a little bit. Yeah. But I like, I would lose all my confidence if I fumbled. Because dude, our running back country would look at me like I was honestly like just that piece of shit. I'd felt me be like,

yeah. It's like, all right, well, play somebody else. I'm good, dude. Just check out. I'm good, if you don't want it like that,

like, all right. I mean, it is tough because you're right. You're like, you know, everybody comes up. We got you, bro. We got you. But at the end of the day, you're like, they're probably like, fuck this guy.

Oh my God. So I was like, dude, I'll do the football thing in school. Like, if it's gonna. You need me to. Yeah. I would carry my books like that, though. Like, after a while, I'd start carrying my books like it was a football, you know? Like there's people, sophomores coming on the left side.

Switch it. Slide across your body. Grab them with the old fucking over under. And, you know, you start bumping off of people a little bit. Bumble somebody a little too hard Nobody's ever reacted harder Running back's coach When the running back fumbles

Like can we act like we've seen a fumble before Yeah Film the ball Get him out get about Get him up Film the next day Oh my God You fumble in the game

Film the next day I'm like Good thing I brought donuts Why is that like 18 replays over Just reliving it There's nothing worse than that See here you got the ball kind of he took it away from your body

got to swinging it a little bit you gotta close the back door when I was a running back coach brother that's all I said I did the same door y'all hey close the back door she was a coach he is a coach insanity I thought you were saying when you volunteered to do

that you volunteered to be that coach in the hallway is like punching it out and shit yelling for people to do it or me punching the ball out of practice coach in high school kids I swear to God just give it. Just give I'm all just haymakers

like are we allowed to do this because I was just rocking it show up in Channel 13 Hey hey we got a problem With one of these coaches Hey hey Bruce 13 kids ribs Hey hey

Come on let them hear you Oh that's too good Making memories Huh fun stuff Huff Get them up Get up To you Broll

are just fucking dude I think I had a stick with a boxing glove at the end of it you're like you still can play like bigger than all the kids oh my God Coach Polancy uh that's from Brian

Brett Parv's pizza and Basta Bistro Stop I'm starving bro What's up guys? The Sky Jesus I'd love to drive to India and see new restaurant, Ben and Brett Farv invest in Benny and Brett's pizza and Basta Bistro. It's a fine dining, five-star establishment, meaning you wear jerseys over hoodies, joggers, and winter hats inside. The menu is just Fazoli's menu and the bar is Brett's chin strap as the

handle for beers on draft. And then every hour on the hour, Brett just threads 12-ounce cans of PBR across the bar and if you drop it, you take a shot. Slot my house like you're hanging out two days before XOEV, all your shopping is done and you're in that weird time period. wondering if you could hang with the fam or hang out with your ex because you're on winter break and let's be honest that's the weirdest time ever you just celebrate christmas and be with the fan but then also black out three to four times and pick up a new hoppy or change your major change your major based on a Christmas gift you got oh my god dude that's some of the truest shit like why am i even in finance based on the Christmas gift you got you're like maybe

this can work I don't know dude thinking about it just have to way too much time on your hands Dad is just like... Dad just blows you off. They're just like... Just go back to school. Let me know. Do it for a week and let me know. Didn't see Florida get into the 12th team playoffs. Looks like the committee

said, Later Gator. He's this guy, Brian. He's eating him up. Chomp, chop, chop. Yeah, it's like, Peyton Manning did those commercials with Bud Light or he was like passing all the Bud Lights out at the bar. That's just our... Bizarro universe.

Payamannick does that. And for us, it's just Brett Farr. Winging it at us. Dude. Fuck. Yeah, all sidearm. The flick. Look at the bruce.

Oh, my God. From Brody. Got up. This is him? Johnson and Schmitty. Same guy? Eh? No.

Close. Same kind of background. on the same guy. Anthony Fasano is Sabarro's Pizza. Oh. Tassum Hills, the Tom Brady of Joe Webb's. Hey, AT&T and Verizon, just kiss already. Nice. Slapped my ass as I watch BJ Rodgie in the State Farm commercial doing the discount double check. Merry Rekeem Christmas from Fat Guy. This guy knows ball, bro. That guy knows ball. What an email. Everything he said made sense. I say that to your girlfriend, see what she says, all that.

And his name's Brody. Anthony Fasano, dude. Wow. Anthony Fasano, can you just make me some lasagna already? That last name. Anthony Fasano.

Do you start tied into you in Notre Dame? Is that because of you? That name's tied into you? Anthony Fasano. Maybe I'm... Why am I confusing him with the Colts left tackle?

Castanzo. The same exact guy. Castan. Anthony Costanza, Anthony Fazzon. Fasano. Two different dudes? Shut the fuck up, bro. I'm done.

No way. Yeah, bro. Anthony Fasano, who is he? Dude, Fasano was the tied in on the Samarja, Brady Quinn teams. Oh, man. He was like, you know, he was really solid, then went to the NFL, played for the Dolphins for a while, probably a couple other teams. But it was like, oh, Fasano, man, he's catching passes from Brady Quinn.

Then all of a sudden, after that, just fucking Kyle Rudolph. Feedler. Tyler, Tyler, I, for. uh fucking Michael mayor all these dudes just bang bang bang uh

Tyler Iffert what could have been one of those guys man I was like yo he's so next every tight end ever from Notre Dame he's so next me as a Steelers fan I know all about

Tyler Eifert up the seam dog oh wait that's tough who did he play for the Bengals oh bro tight end down the hash that ends the hash pro bowl pro bowl oh my god dude that was I hated that

shit unfortunately for him and obviously why there's more meat left on the bone we'd usually only play him once out of the two games a year and then most of the time unfortunately for him he would get hurt like two quarters in but tie downs dude just marry me those guys get married quick too. Those guys, yeah. They're like Notre Dame tight ends are kind of like Purdue big men. They have the hottest girlfriends, Notre Dame tight ends. Not that I stock their Instagram and want to be them or anything.

Yeah, I mean, what do you want? What more can you want? Right. They're like 6-4, 6-5, strong jaw line, mismatch on the field. Mismatch on the field and a catch off of it. Catch on and off the field. Come on. Coming soon to Hallmark.

He's a catch on and off the field. Oh, man. Just Anthony Pissano's life story. Fassano. God, that just makes you want to put Parmesan cheese on some spaghetti right now. Right. I'm so hungry. If Fasano isn't like in New Jersey or like Long Island

just owning like a little tiny, like you're just a whole-in-wall Italian joint, I don't want it. Hey, the red and white checkered cloth on the tables outside. One of those. With the Parmesan cheese and the red flakes on the table. Pictures of him catching. His jersey. All of his jersey.

He comes around to every table and people are just like, oh, yeah, it's Tony. And they're like, hey, Tony, who's a guy on the wall? And he's like, you know. And the kids ask. Go take a picture. No, no, no. The kids ask. And then as he walks away and then their dad's like, you know who that is right.

that's Tony money fucking Fasano His wife's really hot God dang it Food sucks She's not Italian But You know

This is from You know Italian guys I don't know what to say ever You know You know You know he got a Go ahead

Got a couple messages Last week Ever the show I'm gonna go ahead and go Oh man, me too. Oh, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Yeah, I can't. The bus broke down in front of me. Stop, dude. Stop. Too close. Too close. Too close. Oh, man.

This is from Kyle. Subject line, Dante Robinson, D-U-N-T-A. Crazy. Yeah. Love that. B and J. Two ideas. number one, I had the idea of a Twitter group.

They called a community for the clubhouse. Maybe you charge a $25 cover fee, or if you bring three girls cover is free. Essentially, it would be like a group chat where we all just talk about UNLV's uniforms and the art of sport LA bowl hosted by Gronk. Certainly wouldn't expect you guys to be checking it too often, but it would be cool way for the clubhouse to link up

and chat about unies and how dumb football games and baseball stadiums are. I love everything about this clubhouse, bro. This is great. This is great. Dude, UNLV uniform. UNLV's pants. Can we talk?

What'd they do? They had like some magical little Vegas stars and stuff down for a side for a little bit. They had that on the field too. I don't know why UNLV isn't better than they are. Make the field like a craps table.

They were kind of going after that. I don't know. Why is UNLV not good? Like they're in bay. Vegas, bro. Imagine like trying to focus. Hey, number one rule of our UNLV football program, no distractions. Hey, 17,000 casinos and strip clubs. Yeah, the problem isn't getting them there. The problem is making sure that they're on their shit while they're there. How does anybody go there?

Bro, but if they were good, that would be a, that would be sick. Is there field like downtown? I think it's like, I think they play at the Raiders Stadium. Oh, really? Damn. I hate when teams play at stadium that they don't belong in. I'm like, what are you doing? You fill in this place? Shut up.

Yeah. High school state championship. Right. Hey, they rehired Dan Mullen. I knew that. I get their reaction. Hey, we're on this weird run of college football now where everybody, it's like my brother-in-law's. Oh, they're rehiring people that already have.

Yeah, they're doing retreads. Wait, wait, wait. Who else did it? Who else did it, though? West Virginia hired a rich rod. Oh, that's insane. UCF hired Scott Frost. What's going on?

Dan Mullen isn't a rehire for UNLV, but like he was a coach at Florida and then Mississippi State. And then I think Florida again. And then he went to TV and was doing TV for a few years on ESPN and now they're bringing him back out. like they're just people are just like yeah fuck it now I guess we'll just do this is that I don't know

if that's that's the answer damn second idea from Kyle been a while since we heard a get a ball get a buck well you did earlier

and there you go what's the clubhouse sponsored a hard nose middle school or high school basketball team in the indie area maybe Greenwood high school with a Packers G on the front

and get a ball get a bo get a ball on the back oh man stick a blueberry cake donut at my mouth, roast me on a spit like Babe and the pig

and smacked my ass while Brett Farbs open plied jeans hanged from the rafters in my high school gymnasium. Man. I would love, that's kind of my dream

one day is to just clubhouse AAU team. This has a clubhouse on the front. Yeah, but we're just like the EPs of it. We don't know. We don't go to a game. We win?

Dude, we don't even play. Oh. Me and you just become like the white snoop dog. Snoop dogs. We're just like everything. Yeah.

Flying to Vegas is weekend. Clubhouse is playing. We show up. Give a little fucking speech. What's up? Hope you guys are doing good. This court is regulation size. We used to play on courts.

I didn't have three point lines in the corners. Do you like the jerseys? How do we feel about this? They're like, who are these dudes? You know? Like when you would be after practice growing up, somebody would come talk to your team. Yeah, we got Coach

coming to talk to you guys. I'd be like, who the hell? Yeah. Like I'd ever remember this guy. My knee is going to be all fucking rocky and shit. Rocks on your knee, rocks indented into your knee after practice. Got a kneel.

I'm going to switch knees four times because Coach Lazard's talking to us about Alan Luzard in my head. Coach Lazzardo was talking to us about 1986 and what it took.

He's got a purple leg now. Why am I listening to this guy? Every high school coach

has got a purple leg. You got what it takes? Hey, every coach in the interview? Purple leg.

This wraps one of those fucking sleeves on the other one too. You guys got a Frankenstein leg.

We're going 12 and out next of your state champ. Dude. it. What's a resume looking like, coach? Purple leg.

I've seen enough. You're hired. You'll see you tomorrow. Purple leg. When did you play high school football? 83 to 87. Favorite song? Thunderstruck.

You're in. Six offensive plays. Four of them are tight end pop pass. State champs. They can't defend it. Even if they know it's coming. They can't defend it. You know it's coming, but can you stop it?

They can't defend it if you run it well. Hot, hot, hot, get it on, get them up. There's some really good ideas though, man. Thanks, Kyle. I just want to talk about UNLB football from now on. Yeah, where is that? Yeah, you're right, though. It's like, where's the stadium?

Where the fuck is the school? Is it real? Is it just like IMG Academy, but for college? I think I passed at one time, or it was just a big billboard. I can't remember, but I was like, is that where that is? Yeah. I think it's like by the casinos. or I was just tripping.

Yeah. But, uh, in the house. They were good at, they were good at basketball, weren't they? Yeah. Running Rebs.

That's sick. That's sick. I remember, like, our, you know, our high school was the rebels for a minute. So, like,

the A.U teams I was on before, we're always running rebels. And I was like, why? Charcanian. Yeah. The guy who bite the towel, who was like literally fucking gnaw a towel,

the coach? Nah, I don't remember that at all. Yeah. Uh, from Will. Iowa Hawkeyes, Pittsburgh Steelers. Same team. I've never seen you more mad when I brought that up, by the way.

I was like, okay. Next, next topic. He's still mad. Benny and Joey, long time clubhouse member, first time emailer. Love these. Love when we get that. It's great.

First time, babe. I'm a lifelong Iowa and Steelers fans. The last episode of Benny S. Joey, if it bothers them to Iowa, and the Steelers are the same colors. Talk to us. Color scheme first.

I feel like this is a perfect opportunity. to share this with the clubhouse. Can't wait. In 79, the Steelers just won their fourth Super Bowl of the decade. And Hayden Frye was just hired as Iowa's head coach.

Iowa had a history of losing seasons and Coach Frye was looking to change the culture. He called Chuck Nolan, Art Rooney, asked if it'd be okay if Iowa modeled their team uniforms after the Steelers. Coach Noel and Mr. Rooney

gave their blessing and Iowa has modeled themselves out of the Steelers ever since. Wow. Which is evident in both their uniforms and their emphasis on defensive football. Feel free to go ahead and goal share this with the clubhouse

even though this is not a sport. podcast. Smag my ass with your eighth grade football coaches rolled up play call sheet for the Catholic School League Championship game against St. Roberts in front of a capacity crowd of 37 people. Will from Iowa. That's big time. History lesson. I'm stuck on the ending.

But yeah. 37 people. Bro, just the middle, the CYO's championship in eighth grade, such a big deal to me. Oh, yeah. Under the, they played under the lights. where we're from. Under the lights, eighth grade on the high school field.

Doug. How about the playing surface? Like, chicks showing up, by the way. Chicks. On a Thursday night, the chucks were there.

Like, we're in the, we're in it. Bro, playing on like a real field for the first time, too, you're like,

am I allowed to be here? Because playing on your, like, we'll get to the Iowa shit, but playing on like the middle school field that you usually play on. How about that field?

Just all rocks. There's nothing, there's nothing more dangerous than like an eighth grade football field. The middle just all dirt. I can't. Kind of part of it's like uphill randomly at the 28 yard line. Like by the right side line, it just like dips like goes up a little bit.

Then right after that is like a duck down. It's just ebb and flow the entire field. It's so weird. Rocks everywhere, dirt everywhere. None of it's even. Let's roll them out there and play. Were there even half? Ash marks?

No. On an a eighth grade field there weren't hash marks? No, just the fucking yard lines. What are we doing? Remember we tried to... Hash marks, dude? We tried to make our... I know.

Can we talk about hash marks? No, I mean, that's like so... Not sports podcast, but that's like such an important part of the game. The offense fucking runs through, but the CIO, yeah, right, dude. They're fucking squids because the guy at Gallagher's was hung over from the night before doing the... Two of the chalk to make the lines. One of the dads tried to make the...

our end zone in eighth grade like the Notre Dame one. The line. Just completely just, butchered it. Oh, yeah, because you know, you got to really have your shit together

to fucking hit that. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, it's,

it's the equivalent of, like, when you're a kid, you're making a poster presentation, and you're like, start off real good. Oh, fuck,

I'm going to squeeze these three letters in here. Science Fair boards. Hey, use pencil first. Yeah. Yeah. It took me six times the way in a Charpy.

Photosynthesis all the way on the right. Photos right here. This is right there. Oh, shit. When do you make a letter for your or your, and those three prong folders that were card? Those things weren't cheap, man. Those are,

you know what I mean? Like the, not just the, the poster board with the tri- floppy, yeah, not the floppy, just straight up white poster board

that you would do for like a dinosaur project in second grade. The tri-fold, cardboard, real ass shit. Like 899, your mom was like, you better like, you better get it. You gotta fucking that up.

Yeah, and we did every time. Get the extender on top. You ever see anybody with those? Oh, yeah. Extendo clip on the science fair board. I'm like, Caitlin Wood. Yeah. God damn it, Chessie.

Seriously? Where'd you guys get your poster boards? We live in the same town. I went to every Michael's, Joanne fabrics. Meyer didn't have them. You guys got the extendo clip? Right.

You're just stashing these and hoarding them. with that title on top? I'm like, all right. What tutorial did you watch? What am I missing here? God. I got no colors on my board. Hell no.

I don't even know how to say hypothesis. Probably spelled it wrong on the board. Just one. Nothing more to get through nothing more than just that. Listen, I'm doing the bare fucking minimum. You take your fucking trifold over there. Just pass me. Just pass me on the science fair.

That's it. Not happened. Um Yes, you have fields Jesus From Matthew Location, location, location Location

Low station, low station, how about this? Big fan of everything you do, fellas. Thanks. Should pro teams that are not the only team in their state not be allowed to have the state as their team name? For example, the Arizona Diamondbacks can be the Arizona Diamondbacks because there is no other MLB team in the state.

So the Texas Rangers would have to change their location name because they are not the only MLB team in their state. Maybe to the Dallas Rangers, thoughts. Also, slap my ass with the Navy Blue Reebok style Miami Dolphins, Ricky Williams, Jersey. Dude. That was never actually worn in the Dolphins game. Wait a minute. Rudy Johnson. Oh my God.

I've been hunting that Navy Blue Jersey down. That's insane. I have no idea where you would ever find that because it's out there. It is. It's like one of those things. the what were we talking about a few weeks ago they were like, did they? I think it was maybe the Chiefs Yellow Jersey

or something. Yeah. I don't think they did, but a little party it was like sometime, like a random Christmas night game in like 2004 or something. You get it confused with, I get it confused with Michigan's Mays jerseys. I'm like, did they actually? Right. Was that just a weird fever dream?

I think they did. They did. It's weird. Definitely did. They did. And you're like, are they allowed? Yeah. Did the Chiefs? A lot of people had that 82 hall yellow though yeah that's where you're like finish line was coming out with some stuff god dang uh but the navy blue

ricky williams um god i love that style jersey that drop shadow too dolphins have a tight it had a really nice drop shadow set up it did yep um yeah i'm down with that i think that makes sense um Dallas rangers kind of just sounds cooler i think but I get what they're going.

The Texas Rangers are like an actual thing. Like they're called like the law enforcement or, I don't even know what it is. It's like a Texas cowboy law enforcement thing where I think they're kind of like law enforcement, but they're not technically. I don't know. But that's a real thing.

Walker, Texas Ranger? Yeah. Always on after the 430 game on CBS. Walker. Weird. You remember that? Yeah. I kind of don't get it, the question.

So he's saying Because in Texas You have the Houston Astros Right You have the Texas Rangers Yep So there's two teams in the state Which one gets the state

Right But I guess what you could look at Is that Houston is Like the third biggest city in the country Third or Fourth Yeah So Houston You know kind of just

Is his own entity and within Texas, it's like Chicago and Illinois. How do they pick that? Yeah, I have no idea. What about how it's Indiana Paysers and Indianapolis School? What is that? Like, how did they, why isn't it just one? I think it's like a least thing.

Like, I think the Colts, when they came over from Baltimore, they signed an agreement with the city of Indianapolis, not the state of Indiana. I totally am probably making all that up. But I think it's some weird thing that it's like the lease from the stadium that they got with the RCA dome was through the city of Indianapolis, not the state of Indiana. And even though it's the capital, it's like a separate jurisdiction. What do you like better? Like, you know, I like cities. I like cities too. I mean,

state, again, state's kind of like, can you rip off all the state NFL teams right now? Well, first, it's like kind of going back to Duncan. It all comes back to guy. It's like, when you're trying to reach everybody, you don't reach anybody. Indiana Pace or something Like that's a lot You're trying to Anybody from Lafayette North just roots for the Bulls

You gotta go Bulls You know Where it's like yeah When you're in Valparaiso And you root for the Bulls and the Bears You're like Well when you're Valparaiso and you root for You're right right that's what I was saying

It's like yeah it's like the Indianapolis Colts Right so it's like if you're going to root for the Bears You know you're in Valpo so whatever But if you root for the Bears you know you're in Valpo so whatever But if you root for for the bowls and you're in Valpa, you're like, I mean, like, you're kind of equidistant from Indianapolis as you are Chicago

or run true for the Pacers. And you're in Indiana. They're the Indiana Pacers. I don't know. I like city. City names better. Who else has them? The NFL, Arizona Cardinals, the only one in Houston City. Go ahead, just say it.

Oh, you're right. Pittsburgh's dealing. City. Yeah. What am I thinking of right now? You were saying state teams. So Arizona Cardinals. State.

New York Jets and Giants. Oh, Pennsylvania. Wow, that would be so stupid. Pennsylvania Steelers. Kill me. Yeah. Who else we got? Carolina Panthers.

But that's like, that's just they embrace the whole care of all the Carolinas. Okay. We got any more? New Orleans Saints, Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Miami Dolphins, Jacksonville, Jaguars. Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland, Browns, Detroit, Lions. Yeah, I mean, the NFL is pretty city heavy. Pretty city.

Shad's Arizona. Really? In Carolina. Yeah, but Carolina is all of them. And then the New York, because then in New York is like, what's interesting is the Jets and the Giants play in New Jersey, and the bills actually play in New York. Dude. I got to get out of here.

I got to get out of here. Okay. Yeah, that's true. All right. Got a couple more here since we're in person and it's Christmas. Let's just fucking rip a little Christmas special one for everybody. From Ryan, 2009, Silver Shane Leckler, Oakland Raiders jersey.

Whoa, Shane Lechler. Silver Raiders jerseys. Kind of like the, did I remember a Silver Warren Sapp Raiders jersey? Remember that? Oh, that was crazy. You know what I actually like a lot? What? unpopular opinion maybe

dude when the Patriots wore silver jerseys that one time do you remember that kind of like on some did they they did the Patriots won weird Monday or Sunday night Tom Brady Patriots peak Patriots wore silver tops

navy blue bottoms and it was it looked good dude I don't even know if Patriots people like like them like that Bro they was a good look in Patriots uniforms honestly if you really put it on paper, they're ugly.

Are you sure it wasn't just white that looked like silver? Telling you, bro. Hold on a second. Or it's gray. Ah, 2003. Yeah, you're right. Patriots gray.

In 2003, the Patriots unveiled a new. Kind of sick. Let's just see if we can visit it on X here. On Twitter. Unvealed new silver alternate jersey. They wore them twice that season. Week 11 versus Dallas. Week 14 against Miami.

Gutsy against the Al, it started being silver. That's a good look. It's because the Cowboys went the opposite. You shook. Dude, if one of these pop up at the show, talk to me, baby. Come on, talk to us. Well, this is an important.

I'll just send them to you. He's a freezing little busy, baby. Wow, that's crazy. Good poll by you. It was definitely way too, like, I just, yeah, I wasn't watching that shit. most. Oh, man.

I was like, they're really wearing those? And the Baltimore peanut butter pants. Never forget. You know what I like is when the Raiders

switched over from the Raiders went on their white jerseys. They got silver letters and numbers with black outline. It's crazy how that

looks better. It was risky because you're like silver on white. We can be able to see it? But then the blackout line it pops. I don't even know

that's silver. that silver off the white jersey bangs for some reason. It doesn't seem like it should, but it always works. You'd be so proud of my sister, I think. We're getting right as the Steelers Eagles was kicking off and we were in the white road uniforms. My sister was like, I love the white.

I love the road uniforms. First, she was like the white jersey. She's talking about it. It does. Yeah, you're right. It does. It just pops the way it fucking contrasts with the black top on the gold pant.

It's the yellow last names, dude. I'm like, ooh, with the outline. I don't know what that is, but it's always looking good. All right. From Ryan, Josephine and Benson, love the chef. Thanks. Wish I could make it to the live show.

Tune every week on YouTube. Thanks, bro. Hell yeah. Subject line is irrelevant, but had this video just reminded me of you guys so much I had to share it. Basketball on a gym with a stage on carpet. Yep.

That did pop up for me. Oh, I've seen it. Crazy. outrageous. Let me guys slap my ass with a code red mountain do, slim gym crossover from the gas station while I watch highlights of Jason Williams, grainy footage,

best passes, and NBA history. With like the weirdest, uh, song behind it with like the, it's like a pop song. You put a pop song behind like dope, pro highlights,

NFL or NBA. I don't know why it just hits. What are you talking? Michelle Branch. Yeah, and Jason Williams highlights. I'm not familiar with Michelle Branch Can you give me some?

Just sing it Just give me a little A little bit of this A little bit of that It's starting with a kiss Now we're up to that You wanted to do that so badly That's why I asked

I rehearsed on the way here Yeah No Okay I'm familiar now I'm familiar now Yeah I think it's just unexpected Because you're expected Go in there and be like

Grab a holly of Vietch And then it's Yeah Or just like a Yeah rap always rap you know and then you get some santana yeah or you get a little like katie para katie pera stroke meter me me feel like I'm living a teenage dream honestly teenage dream gets me a little emotional

not a reminiscent podcast but like that's some nostalgia 2010 like really homecoming dance shit don't ever look back don't ever look back high school movie playing out your mind. Wait, what? The way you look at me. I'm listening on the way home and I'm crying. You ever set up your cry? Oh, yeah, I love the set up cry.

Setup cry's great. Yep. That's that one because it's a little bit of, you know, this. Yeah, like, you know, a little slow. Oh, yeah. She makes you want it. She's teasing, bro.

And then she does like the up and down. Let's go. the way tonight. No regrets. Wait, what dance are you picturing yourself at? Homecoming? Yeah. It's like a chilly fall night.

Something about the homecoming dance, man, not a reminiscent podcast, not a high school podcast, but homecoming dance hit different. I'm in a movie. Totally. And like, why am I getting away with things at the homecoming dance for some reason?

Like the teachers are like, you know what? Dude, I think me and 10 of my friends were on the stage at one time. Yeah. At a homecoming dance. Because prom is just, that's, that's the big one, you know? That's, that is, that's all eyes, L hands on deck for that one. Homecoming is just like a fuck off one, man, you know?

I felt a little more meaningful. Right, but it's like prom was the college football national championship. Homecoming was the fucking Citrus Bowl. Yeah, Sugar Bowl. Yeah, right, but that still kind of has like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe before, maybe like the BCS era. Oh, bring back the BCS logo, bro.

When the national championship would be at the Orange Bowl, you're like, all, I know that's a national championship presented by Vizio. But, you know, the Sugar Bowl is like, whoa, fuck, it's going down over there. Yeah, West Virginia is definitely there. Yeah. So that's the, that's why homecoming, you're like, how. I felt like that because when you get the prom, Jesus Christ, nobody can enjoy themselves. So much pressure.

It's a lot going on. Oh, yeah, I drove my dad's convertible here. The tuxes, maybe it's your. Dates girl. It's your dates dad's car. I've seen that before. The corsages, the tuxes. Dude. Oh, man. You got to return my tux the next day at 7 a.m. That's, that's pre-wedding before wedding time. Yeah, prom is just to prep you for the wedding. Yeah, everybody. This week is just prep for Christmas. Proms prep for a wedding. It's the girl's biggest day of their life before their wedding. You got to ask them to prom. You're asking them to marry them. That's just

grooming for a wedding. You get all your boys together, taking a picture, you know? Yeah. You have the wedding party, but you have the prom party. Oh, my God. Pictures. Hey. Oh, my God. Never thought of it like that. Is that a thing? And you do the same at homecoming, but still, it's like,

I got a jacket on. I just got a shirt, maybe a tie. Oh, I love that about homecoming. It was like less. Yeah. No, we don't need to, you don't need to wear a jacket. When somebody told me, I don't need to wear a suit jacket at homecoming, I was like, oh, let's go. I'm just wearing it like tie Like what's up like this is what you know Confirm you got like a back room reserve

Like a fancy Italian restaurant Or homecoming it's just like I don't know Should we take pictures that five guys? Do we take two pictures of five guys downtown It'd be like yeah Everything's so cute It's always some weird ass play

Spaghetti Factory Oh my God Oh there's Dude, renting the tucks for prom. I still can't get over it. Hey, you fucking walk in to pick up, hey, you walk in to pick up your tux on the Thursday before. You see eight different guys there.

They're picking up their tucks too. Their tux is better than yours. Yeah, just like, you got the white one? My dad would beat my ass if I got a white tux. Oh, whoa. He did the leather Chuck Taylor shit. I can't pull that up. Bro got a pink suit.

I'm just out of here wearing black suit with a white shirt. red tie because your girl that you hated like made you no you're not fucking wearing that not a bow tie either god I don't even want to fucking go I don't even know

this is the right red tie hey but you see it's like when you're in a wedding party like three little groomsmen out of this eight you're like they're just like other weird friends that you don't know really they hate those guys bro bro that's the kind of people

can we get on the same page it's the two guys from chemistry that you're just like huh then one of the volleyball ball players in there like I guess hey what's up man yeah it should be fun oh I forgot I got to do all this he's got a haircut I don't even have a haircut it's the same shit I still got sideburns at prom what what are we doing it's the same shit dude sideburns at prom every high school kid's sideburns hey high school kids and sideburns we get it hey now that was our generation now the thing for

high school kids is no sideburns is no sideburns in the fluffy fucking broccoli top shit my hair right now every kid you see sideburn side turns you're in high school sideburns in the 2000s bro hey doesn't look good hey I had them the whole time hey I'd do anything for him hey it's all I thought about hey how do you get a sideburns like that I did a cringe moment of the week I remember walking into fresh redshirt freshman walking into the receivers meeting senior on the college football team sideburns are too long next that's all he said

tiger in fakes I was like dude it was so he was being cool but that'll fuck you up hey sideburn's too long next I was like yo he's not wrong hey prom and weddings

you're in the party you're trying to figure out how to get booze in there same thing trying to sneak hey you're your guy in the groomsman party Hey, could we like have a beer like outside by the car? Like people won't notice, you know, high school. Can we like have a beer in the cul-de-sac out there? Right. Before we go in, you think we'll notice?

Is this dad looking at the window? Out of the Trump's pop, dude. It's not his dad. It's always her dad. You're always taking pictures of a girl's house. Their dad looking. Her dad's kind of weird. He like still runs in marathons and shit.

He might like, he did the Thanksgiving 5K. My mom said she saw him. He might be like checking to see if we're like drinking back here. Because we stole his alcohol last week anyway from the back of his porch. Does he have a gun? He looks like he have a gun. I don't fucking know, dude. Yeah, we should probably just pack up here and go ahead.

I don't know why that UV blue anyway, but we took it. I think he knows. Do they have cameras? They're kind of rich. Should you spray? Dude, no, it's going to draw more attention to yourself. Don't fucking spray. Don't spray.

Don't do cologne. It's going to draw more attention. I smell like weed, dude. that's what I'm poor kid all right it's the same shit dude

that's all prom is just the whole rigamarole is all where so you're like oh this is what

a wedding is going to be like eventually me at an actual wedding do you think the priest still care

if we're fucked up how many times I was like yo does that like matter like does the wedding like

is the wedding still valid if we're all drunk oh yeah it's all the pressure is off when it's not a Catholic wedding, you know, when you're just like, someone's getting married outside on a gazebo. It's like, yo, we can drink. And then right when like it's going down, you're drinking, somebody, somebody from the wedding side, the girl's side gives you a dirty look. You're like, seriously? It can't wait. It can't wait. When your buddy says a cigarette, he's like, dude, she's the same one that's given suggestions for what pictures we should take after. You're like, this is just, just not your, just shut.

up let's get fuck ball let's skip a pop let's get fuck bob guys at weddings let's get fuck ball before it even starts bro guys at weddings just get up oh 9 a.m. walking into the groom's quarters with your suit we're doing this hey lock in got a gift for you hey you're on one knee a while ago you're about to get on one knee again crack it open every guy's wedding okay uh from joel he sent two i don't think i'm just going to do this one packer seahawks starts off strong back on the synthetic gummy mushrooms again how the fuck could they let this happen tell me my eyes tell me my trippy eyes are wrong these colors are fucking off by a mile

packers just said eff it let's wear all the yellows last time i forgot to say slap my ass and call me sally ha ha ha love this shit god damn man thanks uh packer see a screenshot of that game yeah i hate the highlighter i hate that dude i kind of hate him so much that i like them now Like, I cannot believe they're still doing it. And for that reason, I kind of respect it, you know? Like, in, like, 10 years, we're going to be like, they were really wearing those. That's crazy.

That's, like, thinking about, like, the Chiefs Yellow now. Like, did they? That's what we're going to think about the Seahawks. It's just one of those things that you're just like, there's no way those guys are putting those on are, like, yeah, I'm fresh today. The lime gray, or the Volt? The Volt, Seahawk green. It's hard to make those look good, bro. I mean, DBEs can do it, but like, O lineman.

Anybody else? Big 7-1, you kick-stepping in a Volt jersey? Two knee braces on? Kick-stepping. Gut hanging out, bro. Saggy ass. They might like it, though. Saggy ass.

Hank Hill ass. Dang, man. Too vivid. Too vivid. Yeah, I don't know. That's team of these guys at gmo.com. Hit us up, dude, live show. Bring it.

All the emails. We're going to do them during the show. We're just going to talk just like this. What's the show going to be like? It's just going to be what you're looking at, baby. Yeah, long for the ride. Guys will be, you know, having some drinks, kicking it. We'll be doing the same pretty much.

I don't know. I'm getting ready for Christmas bender, so no promises. but yeah bring uh you know if you're not emailing it in but also um you know mavel situation to where everybody just come something you know come something to you're like oh man this is my chance to talk to these guys i want to bring up this shit it can be about high school it could be about coaches it could be about catholic shit it could be about anything short courts yeah the actual place or just courts that are short it could be about my sideburn senior year we could kill 40 minutes on that

but yeah it's here and we did a long one here just getting everybody ready and bins in town and we're having fun so yeah man good shit subscribe follow the show on apple pods or ever get your pods leave a rating leave a review because you know why why do we ask you to do that every week shamelessly it's because well people want to know the pods want to know what people like and the more people like it, the more people get recommended to, the more the clubhouse grows. So that's why it's important. Subscribe on YouTube, like the video, comment, anything you want, favorite jersey, what, you know, cringe moment of the week, sideburns you had in 2009, whatever it is.

Yeah, what's the cringiest thing you did when you're in high school? Comments, babe. We'll talk about it next week. Love you, get you tickies, subscribe, tell your homies, all that. Leave a rating review. He already said it, but it doesn't hurt it twice. All right, clubbath. Love you.

Bye. Avanti Maddoch. Wow. What? Ty Devinner. I don't know. Do you play baseball too?