THESE GUYS! - death of johnson & schmitty

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

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Dude, I can't wait till they tell you on your deathbed, in your coffin with your Purdue pee head on. Jordan Racer, it was me. Not bad for a fat guy. PG 152. 152, they need a chew. guys. Two dip heads, one station. Station, I about it.

Station, all about it. Dude, I used to dip in the station. Yeah, dude, who doesn't? Overnight shifts, seven to midnight shifts. Bro, because they had the perfect styrofoam, little white cup. Oh, they did have cups on deck. The things I did on that overnight shift, you don't want to know, bro. Don't let me in a building 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. losing my mind.

Literally the only person, only soul that's alive in the building. It was so scary, man. I would go to every vending machine and get snacks like every hour. And I would turn Rocky 4 on because it was on every time and then like ESPN on. having the time of my life. And I would just listen to the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire like instrumental behind

the whole time. Oh, what is that instrumental? It's a good one. It's so good. It's just who wants to be a millionaire. Six hours of who wants to be a millionaire and instrumental. It has like the heartbeat.

Doo do. No, no, no. These guys. These cries, these thighs, these cries, because I was listening to 2016 Chancellor Rapper before we started. And that I'll bring a tear. Yeah, hey, Ben's got the Dion Sanders, Baltimore jersey on because he's heading to the Charm City. Hey, Baltimore. See you Thursday.

Jutickey's, Bennypolisi.com. Then we got the December run, people. Sacramento, December 4th, Phoenix, December 13th and 14th. And these guys live, Chicago, Chicago, Hidden Goal, December 22nd. TG Live, Zanis, downtown Chicago, December 22nd. I sent to Ben yesterday said, dude, how perfect is it? Guess what bowl game is happening on the same day as these guys? live 2025.

It's the Idaho Potato Bowl. You already knew that was going to be the case. Idaho Potato Bowl happening. Perfect. These guys live, December 22nd. Get your tickies. Zaney, Chicago. Link below for this show on YouTube and wherever you get your pods.

And make the trip. Make the plans. Make the plans to go see Benny. Make the plans to come travel for the holidays. Whole, whole for the holidays with these guys December 22nd. just hunting hats and Randy Johnson jerseys. It's all I want to see. The comments were great on last week's YouTube episode.

Everybody was like, hey, I'm going to be the guy in the bear starter jacket. Hey, I'm going to be the guy in the Warren's Satt Buccaneers jersey. Hey, I'm going to be the guy in the Brett Farr Vikings jersey. That's just, it's music to our ears. Cannot wait. Not a Christmas pod, not a holiday pod. But Halloween's already over because we're already looking ahead. to these guys alive.

Mm-hmm. God, Halloween's so over, bro. It's not even October yet. I'm force-feeding. I'm force-feeding the weather change. I got the crew neck on,

the YouTube, I'm up in my Paul crew game. Call me Tom Cruise. Hey, Terry Cruz, settle down over there. Holy, fat bears. Fat, mean bears, cubs.

Hey. Got swole. I buy the Reds over the weekend. Not great. It's kind of this weird dynamic when football is happening and the Cubs play on the weekend because it's the playoffs. Now it's like, I'm watching football,

but I'm keeping tabs on the Cubs. So I didn't really watch, like I follow along with every single game, but I do it via online and the ESPN app. Because look, I'm watching ball. I'm watching football. Okay.

I've waited this long. I've watched the Cubs from March until September. I'm going to be watching football unless it's a week night or unless it's the playoffs, okay? You know, I'll mix it up, right? But point being is that I don't really know what happened in Cincinnati. I just know that we lost four straight games after clinching a playoff spot. Am I happy about it? No, I'm not. Do I feel a little on edge? Yes, I do. Is this a sports podcast? No, it is. No, no, it's not. But going for the YouTube viewers, I was just showing these guys, L-O-L on YouTube, Benny's always got the jerseys. I mix in the jerseys sometimes,

and this week I got two new Cubs crews I've taken Benny's approach I go on eBay a lot now I search for different stuff I search for different Cubs Vintage Curenecks I search for different Purdue crewnecks

maybe a little Steelers vintage hat and got to keep the game got to keep the wardrobe going for these guys every week it's just what I've wanted to do my whole life is just wear shit like this and why wouldn't we Why not?

Yeah. That's true. Big time fat stats over the weekend. I was just about to ask about this. Is this your monthly cheat? What is this? Dude, it's been like, it's been like five months. Maybe four months since I've had sugar and it was just like, let's do it.

Went crazy. First stop. There's this place called Lazy Acres in Hollywood. The cookies, I don't even know. They're just way better in anything else I've had That was a little appetizer Then went audible Audibled from food

Went and bought a used PS2 Mm hmm Was that like a Craigslist find A Facebook marketplace Do they have a technology game style What's going on? Skarnine Skarnan

They just have used like video games And DVD places all over the place out here I don't know if it's like that In indie there's a few Disc replay Dita did it did did did disc replay. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I mean, that's fine. Yeah. It's not that hard to find. I thought it'd be way harder to find. It was like a hundred bucks. Two games.

Easy. The controller's memory card. Oh my God. Went to the cheesecake factory. Boom, Cineabon cheesecake. Gotta have it on cheat days. It's the best cheesecake there.

There's a little banana bread spot at the Grove, which is like the, like the, it's like the popping outside mall place in Hollywood. would. You'd love it. It's sick. But there's like a whole village of food and stuff. And there's a just strictly banana bread spot. Peanut butter and jelly ice banana bread.

Boom! Put it in the car. And we go to write to Papa Johns. Go a little light cheese half mushroom. What's it called? Stuff crust. little cheese cups came home

had a party dude NFL 3 party I feel like I was What's a drink of choice What's the drink of choice Dude I didn't even I couldn't even get there I had like those retro

Gatorade's in my fridge For like two and a half months You know what I mean Like those ones You see those guys on the sideline On NFL games Like with the can of Gatorade Yeah

I'm like is that guy drinking a sprite It's just a Gatorade I had a I mixed a lime Lecroy And a lime Gator grade one cup the big red pizza hut cup best night of my life i'm like i'm in eighth grade again good for you so really no sugar you're like no none no sugar no no sugar nah unless it was in like some protein powder or something like that which probably was but that's not real sugar that's just

like whatever sugar you know man good for you yeah i try to that's hey people you know people online different people in my life. I went to a 70th birthday party on Friday, right? See people that I haven't seen in like 20 years, you know, parents of people that I used to go to school with and everything. You know, they make the comment, I'm like, man, like, you look good. You lost some weight and everything. And just watching the sugars. What's your secret? Watch the sugars. Just take it out, dude. It takes like, what? It takes like a week to like, you know, get over it. Yeah. And then just roll from there. Everything takes a week, dude. Watch the sugars, babe.

Watch the sugars. It's pretty, pretty easy. I was at the 70th birthday party on Friday because this is the point of life that I'm at now. Yeah, I was like, who's 70? Some plans that you look forward to on the weekends now are surprised birthday parties for your friends growing up parents. Bro, what a great friend you are to go to that. Well, you know, I mean, grew up with these people, grew up at this guy's house all the time. It's one of those friends.

You know, it's a friend that, it's a friend that like you're during the summer, you'd basically live there. You know what I mean? And so you're like, this guy's kind of my summer dad. His parents were gone. You slept in his dad's bed one time. Yeah. Hell no, dude.

I never touched the parents' rooms. I never touched the parents' rooms ever. That was so off limits because I've had. horrible experiences with that at my own house. So crazy. You're definitely, I know your crazy ass is definitely just right in the middle of the parents' bed, kicking the feet off.

Right on how I can't shotgun your mom's bed. That's insane, man. You can do so many different things at an open house, but you can't do that in the parents' room. Gotta stay out of the parents' room. It's just sitting there? wide open, queen size bed or king size bed?

What's up? No, way too personal. With the dog, just watching HGTV. The dog, yeah. Become best friends with the house dog. Her mom's slippers on my feet. I'm just like,

watching infomercials. It's 2.48 a.m. Can I go to the gas station? No. I had horrible experiences with that. Come home from vacation. Friends use the open house. Parents bed, not even made.

What the hell are we doing, guys? Are you serious? You could have at least just made the bed? Like, come on. An unmade bed is absolutely wild when you're having people over. That's actually, I might actually say something. I might have said something. You didn't make the bed?

No, I wasn't there. Remember? I did this story like a year ago about how my friends used my house for a week and a half when I was on vacation. Oh, I thought you met the at the birthday party or you went to. Never mind.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's totally different. Totally, everything's all moved on. Everything's good there. But yeah, come home. Like, that's just the number one. That's like the first, that's the first cardinal rule,

Cardinal sin of going to an open house is leave it as you have. found it. Oh man. Oh, dude, I've got horror stories about that. It's like a football locker room, man. You know, or like a baseball dugout. You leave it as you found it.

You know, shit where he eat, boys? You don't shit where you eat. Keep the safe spotless. It's like if there was your house. Clean up the house. If there was a guest room in the basement, okay, you know, maybe there's a day or two before my parents would make their way around to find that. No big deal. Anyways, not the parents' bed.

Bro, so funny. So disrespectful. Who did it? Still don't know. Nobody's zoned up to it. Jordan Riser. Nobody's owned up to it. We're going on close to 15 years.

No one's owned up to it. Condom rapper in the parents' bed, bed unmade. Scene of the crime. Bringing Keith Morrison. We need a daylight episode. Dude, I can't wait till they tell you on your deathbed, in your coffin with your Purdue peat head on. Jordan Racer.

It was me. Make me a channel of your peevee. Somehow my mom outlives me and she's there. She freaks out, freaks out. Somehow your mom. outlives you. That's definitely happening. We're going to be dead in three years from Johnson and Schmidtie laughs. On your deck, dead face down.

Two men found dead. Seemingly having the best times of their lives. Found dead wearing a Colts Anthony Gonzalez jersey and a Chargers Ryan Leaf. But one guy had a pack of hot dogs in his hand. no idea how they died. No, one guy had a pack of hot dogs in his hand, the other and his mouth. They were under 40. And they think it's like carbon monoxide accident or something.

Nope. Not even close, babe. Under 40, but I think they had over 50 beers. Come on. Oh, man. The perfect death. Dude, our, yeah, our, our, our, our, our, our, uh, our death announcement on the news. Oh, please.

They John, they Johnson and Schmidtiet. You do it. It's a way to send this out. They were killed and they also killed a case on the way out. Oh, God. Jeez. This guy. Back to you.

Right, right, right. Right. He gives our eulogy. Right. Right. shit. If anyone is serious about anything happening, if that ever happened

and they were serious about it, like, what a joke. No. You know who's given the eulogy? Drake. You do it real quick? Just give me like the first line. And then send us off to break. Well,

closed casket. Of course, because they had a face for radio. We'll be back on the other side talking legacy, life, and loved ones. On the fan. This is the funniest thing of all time. This isn't even a podcast, dude.

This is just a phone call between me and the year. Yeah. Hey, you know what, though? No station ID. No station ID. W28W68Y, BV, W32Y, Indianapolis. No bad for a fake. Okay.

They always say the best radio isn't heard. Overheard. Is that just Colin Cowherd's slogan or something? This is why I do it, folks. This is why I do it. Ratings tell me that it's heard, not overheard. Overheard, not heard. It's heard.

Dude, that's Colin Cowherd's like secondary podcast where he just like messes around. Overheard. Overheard with the herd. Oh, keep going, bro. That's so fun. Yeah. Why do we talk about death every podcast? Solaris. Nothing's been funnier.

Clubhouse might be getting a little concerned. No, I think it's we couldn't talk about anything funnier than us dying every episode. All their girlfriends and wives that are like listening secondhand are like, I fucking wish. literally annoying I don't even know why you listen to these two puts they're like Go ahead go ahead

No no it's all good This is just Cam Let's think about the stuff over the weekend But people have Slowly but surely They're starting to turn up the heat

On calling me Joe God, man Never want to see that day come What's going on with this? Huh? Like who? I noticed like three different people In person and then in group text too

Joe? I'm like Whoa Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Where's the liberty? Where's the liberty? Did you?

just taken with Joe. That's disgusting. Can we have a little fun? Can we have a little fun with a Y at the end? Let's have a little party. Let's have a little party. That Y means, dude, there's such a big difference between Joey and Joe. Thank you.

Holy hell. I'm just, I'm really not Joe, right? Oh my God. I'd kill myself if I said, well, got to die again, but. Dude, when people call you, Joe, I'm like, What are you talking about? What's Joe? They're like, your friend, Joey.

And I'm like, there you go. What the hell are you doing? It's just a totally different person. It's one letter, but it's a totally different person. Oh, my, huge difference between Joey and Joe. It's just not even close. Joe's, Joe's, like, Joe's wearing a tie, bro. He's wearing a tie.

Joe's wearing a crew neck with Taz on it. Joe is making a day in the life of my corporate 9 to 5. video. Joey? He's doing college football transitions to commercial. Dude, Joe Joey, Joe

khaki pants. The most khaki pants. Cacky pants forever. Joey might have a shorts on backwards. Hey. You ever do that one? No.

Never had your shorts on backwards? Oh my God. ever? You can tell. You can, I immediately when you put it on, you can tell the sinkage. Yeah, I know. From having it backwards. You're like in a hurry and you're just like not

really paying attention and all that. Oh my God. Dude, you know what's been a pain in the ass too recently? Speaking about apparel. Maybe I just fucking stink. I don't know. But, you know, the polo shirts, the team polo shirts that we're talking about that you would wear at the Carmel City Center job.

Oh, yeah. I like to mix those in every now. And then especially late September when it's annoyingly hot, like 86 degrees on a game day. You're like, okay, I just can't wait to wear a cruneck or a hoodie or a hoodie or a hoodie under a jersey or whatever. But you can't do that because it's 87 degrees. So you throw on a team polo. The material of these team polos, dude. They're weird.

Thick? No, it's not thick, but like they, they, they, they, they, Rasp a stench that then stays. Maybe Clubhouse will know what I'm talking about. But like you get a little bit of a, you're outside with the kids, you're running errands, you know, Saturday morning, vet move. Purdue didn't play until 3.30. Rye's like, we just have to do football all day. I said, you know what?

No, let's get some fall decorations out. She's like, could we go to Michaels? Let's go to Michaels. Yeah, let's go to Lobby Lobby and Michaels, you know? Because I'm like, hey, we'll leave the house at 11, get back at 3. Bada boom. You know? Duty's done.

right got the kids out of the house got the wife happy because we did something different a little activity spent some money at a yada before we just sat and watched football all day so i got i got i got a i got a i got a Purdue team polo on and you know that like it's like the jersey like mesh material and all of a sudden if you get a little bit of sweat if you get a little bit of grimy sweat working going on then it just sticks to that material the shirt and all of a sudden you just have that kind of BO smell going on for the rest of time too

even after you wash it still there thank you okay thank you I'm like what am I supposed to do is this a one one and done the $75 polo right that's crazy yeah I'm like this is supposed to be like

this is supposed to be kind of a higher end the team gear that you're wearing on a game day you know like this is almost a Joe outfit for a game day Oh, babe. Joe's rocking that. Right. And so you do it and you're feeling all right. You know, I'm wearing it to my grandpa.

Speaking, my grandpa had a 76 birthday party or something yesterday. So I go there. I'm wearing it. I'm like, I'm smelly guy out of the family now. Oh. You got to keep reapplying deodorant just to mask the shirt. But it's not even a youth. You don't even smell the shirt does.

Right. You know what I mean? You're like, I'm good. It's just the shirt. Try to explain that to people. I just took a shirt to my shirt. It 100% is. Yeah, all the, everything is shit.

Is it Nike? Yeah, one of them is. Yeah. I don't know. I think Nike's doing too much, like with all their stuff. Like, just throw it back to the normal materials. Mesh. I mean, look, luckily I got the Purdue one for free through my gig, but, you know, the Steelers one that I was wearing.

Like you said, it was like 65, 70 bucks. Crazy. And I happen to like it, dude. Because it's like, because it's versatile. You know? Can wear it to church. Can wear it to a little dinner date.

Can wear it to the in-laws. Can wear it to a birthday party. Can wear it to the office. Can wear it to a game. But now I can't because it's smelly shirt. That smells like shit. You ever, oh, you smell yourself. Dude, that's a horrible realization.

You catch away. You're like, oh my God. Oh, I need to leave. I got to go. Yeah. And then I got home and I did the test with Rye, you know, wife. So I was like, hey, is this? What, do I lifted the arm up?

She was like, oh, God, yeah. It's like, oh, what is this? I would throw it away. After that, I would throw it away. I might have to. I don't know. I'll wash it and report back. You'd have to like hand wash it.

That's like one of those. You got to put it in a bucket with like some serri, like some infomercial cleaner. Kaboom or something. Some stain remover, some bleach. Like you got to like go to work on that thing. Hang it on a,

hanging on a liner out back to. Outside. Yeah. You got to go. Fresh air. You got to go grassroots cleaning that thing, dude. You can't just.

It's not. Yeah, you got to do it all. You got to hang it. There's going to be like a ghost out there when you check on it. All that's going to have. Ooh. Can't hang clothes in the backyard without like some spirit.

Yeah. God damn it. I'm just trying to hang my, I'm just trying to hang my clothes. There's always going to be a killer in my backyard. Every time I hang something up. Oh, let me check on my poll outside. Oh, there's a little girl that's out there now.

Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any situation like that. And it's just, you know, the shirt blows on the wind. You peek behind it. Yep. What? Then it blows a bag, nothing's there.

Great. Got to die. It's the shirt, dude. It's the shirt. The haunted shirt. The haunted smelly shirt. Let's get to the club, Al. That's what you say.

Please, please, please. Team these guys at gmail.com. Dot camp. From Jackson. Speaking of Halloween's over, he says, Halloween's over. Station, know about the life size nativity set at Costco? Not sure where you guys stand, but I think football was better when every high school college and NFL linebacker had a butterfly neckpad.

Could just be a nostalgia thing, but let's bring those back. Love the pod boys. Keep up the great work. Thanks, Jackson. Butterfly. I did not know about the life-size Costco or the life-size nativity set. I did, however, know about the seven-and-a-half-foot-tall Chewbacca with a Santa head on. Got a cop.

that will be in my entryway this holiday season. Seven feet? Oh, my God. Yeah. Life-sized Chewbacca. That's Costco? They're doing that? I think it actually is Home Depot.

I think it, I don't know for sure. Something like one of those big hardware stores. Maybe Home Depot? Yeah, right, dude. Yeah, right. you're going there right after this podcast gets in his car all of a sudden you have a stick shift

there's no easy way out from Rocky Four's playing or some reason there's no shortcut oh dun dun dun dun dun dun oh my god it's 2.30 p.m. All of all of rise

Christmas decoration ideas are flashing on my eyes while I'm just so determined to get there. Tired. You're like doing, you're like peeling out. My license plate cuts to my license play. It's just C-H-W-Y. Chewy.

Holiday guy on there. Not a holiday podcast on your license plate. Oh my God. That would be so sick. Hey, you know what? I think that can be multi, dimensional too. I think that if you get a Chewbacca like that, yes, he has a Santa hat on, but going back, you got the Michael Myers mask, throw Michael Myers mask on

Chubacca, standing outside. All of a sudden, Halloween decoration. Bro, I don't know if, I don't know if your wife's going to fly for that, is she? Did you already get the green light? I don't know. Well, it's, I think it's, I don't know. It's somewhere like $350.99. Something like that. Not sure. Retail 354.99. online save $10, but I can't wait, so I got to go pick it up.

Today. So I don't, I told her about it, and she was intrigued, I'll say. Oh my God, dude. That's why I couldn't be married. I couldn't bring that up to somebody else. Hey, so I got to get the seven foot Chewbac Chubbac. It is funny to think about. about the, because we just had our anniversary on Sunday, actually.

And it is funny to think about who you were when you're first dating as opposed to where you are over six years into your marriage. Like you said, you're like the, the idea of me raising, hey, I'd like to have a seven and a half foot Chubbacca when you're first dating a girl. It's a tough bridge to cross. But then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, you know, a handful of years go by. It's no big deal, baby. And it's smell my polo.

I hope you get that. I hope you get a seven foot chewy, dude. When I come over, I'm making out with that thing, bro. Yeah. I'm going in. It would be perfect. You've obviously been to my house. We have some high ceilings in the entryway.

Like, I think it really would be that that's going to, that would be my biggest hurdle to cross, I think. It's not the conversation about, hey, this is happening. Or, hey, they have it. Hey, could I get it? I can get through all those. Then the conversation becomes, hey, can we put this in our entryway for it to be the first thing

that guests see when they come to our house for the holidays? Seasonal, you know? It's not going to be there the whole time. Yeah. I know exactly where it's going. I already pictured it.

I know. Yeah, dude. We'll see. We'll see. This is from Mason. Subject line. Heath Miller Benny and Joey

Longtime listener Second Time emailer here I know this is not a dip A Reminiscent Pod But I was wondering what Your go-to dip was back in the day I was a Kodiak mint guy Nothing like packing a lip with your boys

In a basement playing NCAA I love the show You all make the week go by better Thanks Mason Appreciate that man That's the goal Mace Yeah the coat

The Kodiak with the bear on it like the I think Grizzly obviously did but the Codiac it has a distinct like brown bear

whereas with grizzly you know the can it all kind of blends together you can see the shape of the bear if I remember correctly but this is just just a straight up

like you would see it and the living room of a hunting house and Aspen um looked a little intimidating to me honestly yeah

um Yeah, my might go to For a while there I mentioned it last week But was green apple crisp That was Just a nice solid flavor I always felt like a nice juicy dip

Um Wasn't too hard on the mouth But then I was always more of a blue guy than a green guy What do you mean? So anything that would be blue You know, uh, Mint or pepper

or anything like that as opposed to wintergreen. Wintergreen, just too many horse stories. I think it's probably because that was the first shit that I did when I was like 16. And immediately your head is just spinning. You can't feel your legs. And you're up in your friend's bathroom. Like, okay. Throwing up in your friends downstairs bathroom.

Wow. Okay. Or in the parking lot of the high school. school that you're at after school when you're in the seniors one of your senior buddies's car just a pile of spit on the ground outside your door what the hell just so just so that just that weird hot but cold with a cold sweat going my neck's never been hotter right you could have cooked an egg on my neck and you're trying to put on

you're trying to put on for you know there's older dudes so you're like not trying to be a little bitch yeah dude for sure eyes just crossed face green no idea what I'm saying so sick throwing up gallons of puke don't even know where it's from

like I didn't even drink this much liquid ever in my life what the hell what was that It is like a, it's a fruitful puke that dip puke. You're not getting shortchanged there. It's like I've never eaten any of that stuff that just came out of me in my entire life. Where is that from? Like usually when you throw up, you're like, I had that for lunch, you know.

There you go. No, it's just like brown acid. Yeah. This is just like devil's blood I'm throwing up. Did you have a favorite? Or you're just whatever the homies were doing? Kind of whatever the homies were doing. I didn't really explore too much.

Gris Wintergreen, dude. Oh my God. It felt like that was like the standard. That was just like it for everybody. Yeah. Were you still in it when they came out with the long cut cubes? No, I was like kind of out. Yeah.

But I did get that one time. And somebody on my, somebody on my team was like, who's got the, what was it called? They were called something, dude. Oh my God. Now I got to look it up.

What is this? Long cut, grizzly. Cubes? They're like sugar cubes. I mean, I thought that's what they were. I thought that's what.

I forget the name. I don't know. Maybe I'm making that up. No, you're not, dude, because I had them. But somebody was like, God, what's the name of them? Hey, how about, how about when a guy who's older than you would get for Christmas, like a log?

That's so, dude, you really got to be in it to do that. That's a little insane. How much does that cost? I feel like that would be $60. I remember some people would get it for graduation gifts, you know, from like. the boys or something. Or even some of those, even some of those like weird relationships

where the girl would be okay with it, even kind of like supportive of it. She would for Christmas get him a log. I was like one of the gifts that she would get him. What the hell? Holy Martinsville. Never in my life have I known a dude that could like freely just do that around his girl.

It was always like a hidden thing. all the boys hide their little things you know what I mean dude I can't bro I can't smoke around dude I can't smell like smoke around my girl don't smoke near me dude I can't did dude no bro

that's crazy I forget yeah somebody held up a can of that and was like dude who's a pussy with the pouches and they're 100% mine and I was like I don't know he like threw him away

I was like yeah Yeah, dude. Those guys, they did. They hated pouches, man. Oh, man. Seems pretty responsible to me. You want to get the left guard going or the tight end with a tattoo, shoulder tattoo already going on your team? Just bring around some pouches.

I'm convinced that's all linemen do in their meetings. I'm like, you guys aren't watching film. You guys are just sitting there with towels around your neck's dipping. All of you. Just dipping and eating donuts. Yeah. Let's go to Sam. Coffee and the Fox pregame show.

Oh. What's up, boys? Bigger fan of the shot. Not a reminiscent pod, but listening to it makes me feel like I'm back with the boys at Wendy's after a JV football game. God, the best. Those are the best meals, man.

That's... After a game, starving. When I go and I'm in the Purdue Pete Matt head in the casket, just know if you guys are there and you're seeing that where I am, where my spirit is at that point is probably back at McDonald's off of Edgewood and Madison with the running back room for three and a half hours chewing tobacco and bullshitting after a game or a Thursday practice. never felt so free in your life this is kind of a party if you think about it we're having a party right now like those little yo with the games tomorrow we just got done with Thursday practice

where's our position group going out to eat I'm like this could be trouble dog like one thing one guy gets a little crazy and somebody hears about it it starts getting to it starts getting to be this time of year and you like your stand

at that place until it gets dark you know like practice ends up at like 6.30 or something you whip out of there you're there at the McDonald's by 645 7

and now shit all sudden it's dark somebody's doing donuts in the parking lot I'm like gotta get out of here you got a 15 minute window something's going on

you got 15 minutes get out of there 15 minute window. Sam says a few weeks ago you guys talked about time zones and which one is best. I'm here to advocate for the West Coast time zone being the best. It's the only one where football Saturdays and Sundays are literally all day. There's something so great about watching football in your pajamas while drinking coffee. I might mess around and make waffles during halftime.

You guys are great. Come back to Portland soon. Slop my ass with white Gatorade paddle, my high school athletic trainer used to mix the Gatorade barrels. Yeah, it's a really good voice. Of what? The athletic trainer making all the Gatorade. I was like, you're just the richest man in the world. He would be poor because, you know, they give him all those different flavors

and they just, like, concoct their own potion. Athletic trainers are the real wicked witches. And they act like you can't have any either. I'm like, what's in the Gatorade? They're like, eh. They always act all like that about it, you know? You'll see, you'll see during practice if you work hard enough. I'm like, dude.

Tell me what the flavors are It was always And it always was way too watered down I'm like you don't even know how to do it Let me make the Gatorade one day Yeah Oh man Time zones

West Coast yeah You know it's a good point And like the times that I have been out in Vegas Let's say For a football weekend You are sitting there like Yeah It is crazy.

Like game day on, you're rolling over kind of in and out and game day is just on. Like, is this a replay? It's insane. What is this? And then, you know, where you're at a pool party and it's 9 a.m. But the games are kicking off. Whoa. And I think the really, you know, the real hero of it, the underrated part of it is on

the back end when the East Coast, everybody has to stay up till 1145 midnight to watch the late night game. You're on Vegas for a football weekend, man. Saturday night ABC with Herbie and Fowler, that game's over at 8.30. It's kind of amazing. I didn't really appreciate it until this year. I'll wake up on a Saturday, just normal like 8 a.m. or all like 7.30, 8 a.m. just.

And I forget every time. And I go out to my living here. TV stays on. And it's just the whole crew already there, yelling and screaming. Washington State flag flying. Fans going crazy. Cheaters behind the set. I'm like, already, dude?

And then I got to go work out. And I'm like, dude, I'm missing game day. Like, I'm going to watch it. But like, I need, like, I want to hear at least an hour of it. You know what I mean? It's just nice to have on there. Yeah. I will say for me, I would only like that, I think, like once a year.

You know, if I did once a year Vegas trip for a football weekend, I'm on West Coast time, and you get all that, it's like, whoa, yeah, this is such a nice change of pace, this is sick. But then eventually I'd be one to get back on to my regular clock, my regular programming schedule, you know? Yeah, you got your routine. What really sucks is when you get out of bed, you can barely see you got to pee so bad. and they cut to the Jeremy Shapp segment of college game day and it's some sad story at 7 a.m. I'm like, God, already?

I hate that downer segment. Why do they have to do that? I don't know why they have to either. Like, this is the most. Yeah, I'm having the best time I live. Now we've got to hear a story about somebody who cut their foot off. I'm like, God, damn it, man. Can we just run pre?

Can we just interview the guys on the field and stuff like that? Kick field goals for money. Like, do the cool stuff. Right. This is the happiest I'll be all week. And you got to bring me down with something that's going to make me start thinking about shit? The music, too. I'm like, why, bro?

And then they cut out of it like it never happened. His left hand continued to hurt until he went to the doctor and found out the worst. You're like, dude, my left hand hurts every day. What's going on with the doctor? me. I have the same thing as this guy. Then I'm in my head all day. Like, I should just be having a blast, losing bets, eating everything I want to eat. I know.

Now I'm thinking about Tom Rinaldi's voice in the back of my head. Tom Rinaldi, Jeremy Shapp. Time to kiss. Tom Rinaldi and Jeremy Shapp sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G-O. Sorry. Whoops, this thing's still on. Sorry.

Oh, it's all right. Let's go to Andrew Dorsey Levens with special guest, John Coon. What's up, Burby Boys? Love the Shep. Funny story. I was listening to the pod for a few weeks back and had to pause to take a work call. Of course, as my luck would have it, the kids came bursting in the door. They wanted to talk to me.

And without even thinking, I pointed in my headset and said, Daddy's on Air. He also said, they were confused. I know I'm super late to the party But after listening for so long I figured I'd switch it up and check out the YouTube channel It's great seeing you guys do the show Instead of just listening to it The only thought thing I didn't like

Was it seemed a little dark where you guys are filming I feel like this set could use some Natural light Oh god Guys Slap my ass while I'm saying Summer's over on June 24th wearing a fast Willie Parker jersey

And making lunch plans with Stephen Glansburg Sent from my Blackberry Pearl Yeah, that's a good one there, Andrew. That's Willie. Yeah, check out to YouTube. Better experience on YouTube, honestly. I mean, unless you're like, you know, you listen to your pods. Everybody got their thing on the treadmill in the car or whatever.

Yeah. That's what I'm big on is every TV now. YouTube is essentially just a TV channel and you just throw it on and all of a sudden we're there in your TV. Boom! Like John Matt. Boom. Tough actor. Did Dorsey Levin's and John Coon play together?

I don't think so. That's the real question. Because Dorsey Levens, he was like in between Amon Green and Ryan Grant, I want to say. Dorsey Levin's was the OG Packers running back for me. He was like, before him on Green? Yeah, he was like when the Packers played the Broncos in the Super Bowl, the first Super Bowl ever? Yeah.

The only Super Bowl. That was the only Super Bowl, bro. Every Super Bowl since then? Not for me. That's true. It was the only Super Bowl. And I know that... What?

It just had it all. It did, bro. First drive, L.A. helicoptered at the one-yard line. I'm like, this is the Super Bowl. Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego. Yeah. Elway, Broncos. 90s uniforms. Hey, wait, wait.

What station was it on, bro? Man. Oh, oh, who-ho. I'm going to look it up. You think about it. So this would have been January and 98. It was

Broncos Packers, Elway, Favre. Oh, my God. I'm going to say NBC. Yeah. Nice. I don't know. Like, what is it?

I can't even picture. NBC doing that Super Bowl. I know. Every Super Bowl that happened in San Diego to me is ABC for some reason, even though it's not, but it just screams ABC. I think all the Super Bowl should be on ABC for some reason.

See, it just seems like when Monday night football is on ABC, I was like, now we're talking. Now, and Sunday night football's on ESPN. The, Brett Farf had a goatee in this Super Bowl.

Hey, don't. Don't. Don't say that, dude. My mom's listening. I think that's why we think it's the only Super Bowl because it's just the most popular Super Bowl for in the history of moms. John Elway and go-tee Brett Farr. Dude, look at the flags up there, though. Top of the phone.

The team flags? Does it get bigger? Does it get bigger than that? Come on. Look at, oh, my, dude, everybody in their mom is there. Look at that. their mom. Just flashbulb, just constant.

Oh, that doesn't even happen anymore, does it? The kickoff of the Super Bowl? I used to be like, I know. Like the guy that would take the picture too late during the kickoff of the Super Bowl, I'd be like, wow, what an idiot. You know? That angle they would do where the camera would literally be laying on the field,

kind of looking up as the kickoff team would be running past it, and the whole crowd just see of flashing bulbs. Slow motion. The kicker's leg. Drill slow motion coming out of my face. Marineros sauce. A party, a pretzel party tray in the middle of your kitchen table. Cheese slices.

All the food set up in your house. Isn't that so funny? Like, we're just so opposite of, like, athletes, you know? Those guys are on the field. those guys are on the field like giving it their all dude for their families

and we're just in our living room just the biggest fattasses of all time when should we order the pizza now or half time you gotta order the pizza on Super Bowl Sunday at like 3.45

that whole day is so it's so different because of the Super Bowl you know like everything like it's literally 630

you got to do 3.45. You got to, you kind of, when the Super Bowl is at, wait, what time does it start? 6.30. 6.30 Super Bowl kickoff. You kind of have to get up at 5 a.m. just to like mentally, like, this is what I have to do today to get this done. If you got to go to the grocery store, the day of the Super Bowl, good luck. You've ruined it. You got to go the day before.

You got to be watching America's game at 6 a.m. Oh, when they run all the Super Bowls before. the Super Yeah, dude. All leading up to it, dude. Oh, that's so sick. The Giants Raven Super Bowl, I'd be like,

they kind of do it overnight. They kind of do it over. It's almost like the Christmas Eve, ESPN Sports Center commercials. Oh. They kind of do it like overnight because the Super Bowl coverage starts at literally 9 a.m.

So from like 3 a.m. until 9 a.m. They just marathon of America's games. it's so great dude the Super Bowl's so important in my life that it doesn't even make sense name a bigger event sometimes you win sometimes you lose

oh that was to stop I text that's a bin every year on the Super Bowl coach Cowr hold his daughter Cowboys beat the hell out of the Steelers hey was it at Qualcomm no I was in Arizona San Francisco

Sad one, dude. Sad one. Yeah. Why is that the saddest moment of my life and it didn't even happen to me? What's the saddest moment of your life? A girl asking you that? So like, what's the most emotional? I know.

On F-Boy Island. What's the most emotional point of your life? When the Steelers lost to the Cowboys, Billikower cried after the game. And I watched it on NFL films or NFL Network 14 years later. then went in my backyard and pretended I was a Steelers and we beat the Cowboys What about you? Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. So good.

Let's go to, uh, both of us are crying. Oh boy Bailey. Bailey says, picture this. It's December 22nd in Chicago. You pull your coat tight as you walk past the glowing windows of crowd of bars. Every screen inside showing football,

bowl game. NFL highlights from the day before. The streets glisten under the holiday lights strung from lamppost to lampost. Reiths hanging heavy and bright on the old brick buildings. The air smells like roasted chestnuts and hot pretzels from the corner vendors, mixing with the crisp bite of snow in your nose. You catch the faint sound of carolers on the opposite corner. Voice is carrying through the cold and there's this electric anticipation in the air.

Then you see the marquee lights, bold letters, cutting through the frosty night. These guys live! The crowd outside is buzzing. People brushing snow off their shoulders as they shuffle toward the doors. Everyone wondering if station neshbatish. There's something about thinking about how winter night feels while you're in summer that does something to you. Sorry for the long one.

Had to paint the picture for the clubhouse. Been listening to the last few sods while I'm in Cyprus. So keep it up, fellas. Bailey. Wow. Wow. Beautiful. Honestly, I feel like we owe you money for writing that out.

That's crazy. Just an Instagram post. AI generated that just makes all that come to life. Probably. He's a couple episodes in? No. No, Bailey's, he's been around. He's been around.

I think he was just like catching up on him while he was on vacation, which is shakian. Vacation now about this? So yeah, that's Get your tickeys. Yeah. Get your tickeys. You're walking in. Frosted window panes.

Dude, what about the Christmas commercial that's on right now? Is it a Starbucks one? I think I texted you. I said it. I saw it. And then you texted me and you're like, I saw it too. No, it's a Disney one. Oh.

They're promoting, yeah, Christmas at Disney World. The way I'd go to that in a heartbeat. It's pretty, you, I mean, I guess you haven't because you've only been one time. but Christmas at Disney is, I will say, it's made for us. Yeah, you said you did go? Yeah. Uh-huh. I mean, that's not like, so they have different, they have varying levels.

But once, once Halloween is over, they completely, like November 1, they're coming in, getting all the Christmas stuff ready to go. So me and Rye have been there, like on our honeymoon, we went in the middle of November. It was like that. And then two years ago with my parents. and with Frank when he was just a little little baby, we went right after Thanksgiving, the week after Thanksgiving.

So like leading up to the first week of December. And it was, I mean, dude. Magical. We need to be there. But then they have this, they have like Mickey's Christmas party every night when the park closes and you have to be a VIP or you have to spend, you know, more money to get tickets to Mickey's Christmas party.

And it's like a secluded, extra special version of Christmas at Disney when the park closes in its nighttime. It's insane. How mad I would be to not be invited to that party. I'd be banging on the, I'd be banging on the fence on the outside. Let me get it!

I would get arrested. Yeah, we'll be Disney adults. In jail, what'd you do? I don't worry about it, man. Hey, you have Mickey ears on in jail? Don't worry about it, though. too pissed off to even explain what happened. Just a goofy mask.

Red tip on your nose. Don't worry about it, dude. Let's go to William here. William says, Vante Leach. I'm trying to see. Yeah, sorry, we did miss this one. This is from William.

He just bumped up. He just wanted to re-bump to the top here. Nice. Circle back. So, boy, second time, long time. My wife and I got into a fun discussion, ranking free signature breads that different restaurants are known for, then followed it up with the ranking of best cereal milks.

Said I had to get these guys to weigh in. For us, clear top tier of breads is Texas Roadhouse with the cinnamon butter and olive garden breadsticks. That's it. Tier one, leaving the way of tier two as a close second, Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuits. Thoughts? Any other staples we missed?

Slop my ass with a pool noodle dipped in SPF 75 sunscreen While I do a headstand on the diving board Of the local community pool With a freeze pop clinch between We'll call them hamhawks Keep me a clean for the clubhouse Before I tip over into the pool That's now filled with PSL

With leaves falling into the surface Summer's over God Poem Poetic Poetic Poet Closer Sorry we missed it

This is a good question Yeah You're never going to hear me complain about the Texas Roadhouse hot, hot golden rolls with the cinnamon butter. Are those ones that look like little hamsters? Yeah, kind of, I think. Like it is gerbils? Yeah. Hey, we got to give some love to Fizzoli's breadsticks.

I was going to say the same thing. I think that it might be better than Olive Garden. Like, if you want some dirty breadsticks. Yeah. Like that's where you go. Fazzolis? Bro, they don't even, they're, you can't,

they're, they're floppy. They're saturated. Straight butter sticks. Yep. When we used to do that when I was a kid, when it was kids eat free on Tuesdays, and we'd go to the one down by where we lived.

I mean, when you're in middle school and you're going to that and you can house like, 20,000 calories in a day and it doesn't even matter. I mean, when I tell you that I would probably clear at least seven of those breadsticks. Oh, yeah, that was the main course. You're not really going there for the food.

You're so hype about the breadsticks. It's like the fries of Italian food. You know, for McDonald's, you're like, yeah, I can't wait to get this Big Mac or whatever. But like that fries, though? And you're getting, yeah, you'd be getting the spaghetti meal just so you could dip the breadsticks in the sauce. Like the spaghetti meal was just a vehicle for the breadsticks. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you kind of didn't even want the spaghetti after a while. You were just like the sauce, this is for the sauce. Bro, but at Olive Garden, you can dip it into Olive Garden dressing. That's crazy. And your salad, cut, cook, cut. A little crunch in there. Bite the breadstick. So, you know, it soaks up.

the dressing. It's a crazy move. It's a crazy move. Outback? Pretty good. It's like brown bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like heavy brown. Like sliced up. Wood, like dark, dark brown. Sliced up. Hot.

Butter. Butter. Yeah. Smash and butter on there. Can't have enough. That's another one of the, that's almost like Chicago's breadsticks too. but that's not free you have to pay for those. But there's certain breads that go really well with like a tangy French dressing. Next time you're at Outback and the bread comes out,

whether you get a salad or not, get their French dressing and dip the bread in the French dressing and thank me later. French dressing is so interrated. My God. That's about, that's maybe the only time is really utilized French dressing

in that scenario. ranch and Italian dressing just king and queen of dressing I don't know what's what's after that Catalina had a moment French ain't bad Thousand Island There's always

There's always too like it's tough to Because there's a few Like local Italian joints That I would obviously put Their bread that comes out there On this list but for the clubhouse You know not really gonna do you much good But if you're ever in the Indianapolis

area veto veto provolones that stuff's insane have you had that i don't think so oh i never really went there too much i like the font though i'd always pass by and be like nice font but i never really went in god dang man yeah yeah yeah it's just classic hole in the wall local italian spot fantastic fantastic um cheese cheesecake factory bread I still have never been in Cheesecake Factory, bro. Isn't that crazy? Are you serious? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, dog. Yeah. You might just go during Christmas or something. It's lit. You know, you're like going out to eat during, during like, you know what I mean? Like the Christmas, you know, going the 18th. No, I'm going with you.

I'm going with you. Bro. I'm going. We're finding one in Chicago on Monday, December 22nd. And we're having, we're having a pregame. meal there. You would really like it. But their bread is like, there's a little bit of everything.

There's like, they give you a variety in the basket. There's an outback steakhouse bread. There's Texas Roadhouse bread. They like did it all. Yeah. It looks like chocolate bread. Gas. Yeah.

Last one that I got is about those Panera baguettes. Oh my God. That's number one, bro. I wasn't even going there. I was thinking, sit down restaurants. That Panera baguette, I've never felt more like Aladdin in my entire life.

I've never felt more human with a loaf of bread in my hand. Dude, the way I, rip that in my car. I could eat a fat, dude, I would be a bad employee at Panera because I would just rip those baguettes all day. Dude,

do you remember when we would go to the one down, town when he worked at the station. And they would just have them in those plastic clear bags. They'd have all those baguettes in there. We're like, yo, what do we got to do to get the Santa treatment and just throw that thing over our shoulder and take it with us?

Oh. What an easy choice. Easy, best, easiest decision in my life. Hey, you want the baguette, the apple, or what's the other thing? True cup? Chips, apple, or baguette? Hey, then you can dip, you can dip the baguette and the dressing too.

Get out of here. What are we thinking? Dude, I'll rip that baguette all over my salad. Yeah. Those are croutons, babe. God dang. Good question, William. All right, let's team of these guys at gmail.com.

These guys, L.O.L. on Instagram and on YouTube. Give us a follow. Give us a subscribe on YouTube. Watch us. You can see the Paul Cruz and the Victor Cruz and the jerseys. Sub to the club. Sub to the club. Benny's in Baltimore this week.

Thursday. Get your tickies. Baltimore. Bennypolice.com. Then December. We got shows. Sacramento, December 4th, Phoenix, December 13th and 14th. These guys live.

Chicago. Zanis, December 22nd. Cheesecake Factory, too. Yeah, make the travel plans for any and all, for Benny. You know, get up there. Make it a weekend. Make it a long weekend for these guys live. You know, either bring the boys or bring the lady.

Be like, hey, we'll go shopping to Chicago. And then Monday night, we'll just go to this little show and it'll be fun. Yeah, we'll get dinner after like breeze over the show. Yeah, we'll go. We'll shop all day. And then we'll get dinner. And then we'll get dinner after. Shop all day.

Just can't do this one little thing for a little bit. And then dinner is going to be amazing. Just just give your lady some rake when it comes to that. Like Ben just did shopping all day, shopping all day, right? They'll do the show. Yeah, but it'll be great. And we'll be pubbing it until then. So get used to hearing about it and seeing it because we want everybody to be there

and have fun, celebrate the holidays and the show and everything with us. So good deal, good deal. All right, cool. TG 152. We'll talk to you next week. We'll see you next week. Honestly, early Christmas present, you could get a jersey and wear it to the show.

I'm just saying, mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, you could get, why can I know? I just can't even think of anybody right now. This is really unfortunate. it. I don't have anybody either,

but we gotta say somebody. Yeah, I just get like a Bears Kyle Long jersey. Perfect. Bears R.W. McCorders off eBay. Come on.

Tillman. So sick. Hey, who's a Mike Brown? Remember him making it? I was just about to say that and it was like, I remember that's his name.

Bro, for like two years. I was like, this guy is the best player in the NFL. Every game he had a pick six. Or a fumble recovery. I was like this guy's everywhere. At the old soldier field. Yeah. Before they did all the renovations. See number 30? I was like this guy's crazy. Crazy. Great call there. Thanks for bringing it up. All right these guys know about that.