THESE GUYS! - disney running backs

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

This week the burpy boys remember having 0 idea what was happening on field trips📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🎟️ 𝗕𝗘���𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦San Diego - Nov 7 https://www.micdropcomedy.com/shows/264571Buffalo - Nov 14 https://buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254521Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS (on CW APP)🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?variant=41218692775993

Slat my ass while I yell this guy. Every time my girlfriend walks in the house to which he says, I literally don't know what you're talking about. What's that even from? It's a clubhouse thing. You wouldn't understand, baby. Not bad for a fat guy. Recording on there.

Recording everywhere. TG 104. TG 104. What's up? What's up, bro? Hey, Tickie's coming out. Saturday. A little, a little.

Okay, okay, okay, can't push tickey. Pitchies, tiggies, tiggies, you gotta push tickeys. San Diego, stand-up comedy. San Diego, mic drop. November 7th. A little SD. Well, San Diego. Buffalo, November 14th.

So you guys there, get your tickets. Tickeys right below at Benny Pelosi. Hot. Buffalo's hot. Bro, I can't wait. Just give me some zoo. was real hot. Put some Zubaz pants on me and slap my ass.

About this. It was a jumping show. It was my first stop on the NFC North tour last spring. And it was popping. It's good. It's great. A lot of fun. Good time.

Good Buffalo. Good Buffalo show. I remember you. Appreciate all the bills out there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Then actually, I got a little, I got a little something, something. Tell me. So we're recording this. We're recording this earlier in the week. actually a little behind the scenes but when it when it comes out i think we should be good um so i got i got uh named to the new york comedy fest um creators to watch list the 2024 creators to watch yeah yeah so announcing that today and uh i'll be in new york city at that fest uh i'll be performing on november 9th um for the creators to watch on saturday november 9th so

So any of my NYC clubhouse, any of the East Coast Clubhouse out there, it's a quick set, but I'm pretty pumped about it. It'd be named to that list. There's some pretty cool people on there, and I'm pretty pumped to be one of them. So November 9th, New York City, the creators to watch New York Comedy Fest. Send me the link, bro. I want to see that. Yeah, yeah, I'm excited.

I'm excited. It came through. It's been under wraps for a little bit. and the announcement's happening. Like I said, we're recording this on Saturday, but because we just had to, that's a little behind the curtain, BTSTG.

Inside TG. When the show goes live, you'll be listened to it and the big announcement on Tuesday. So November. Yeah, bra. Yeah. 9th, NYC. Top 25 creators in the world.

NYC me there. NYC. me anywhere. Oh, she could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what's up. That's what's up. Recording on a Saturday.

Kind of like it. Kind of fun. I like this, dude. Like, kind of feel like I'm waking up and taking the kid to like Pop Warner CYO football, you know,

and I got the coffee in hand. I got the QZ on. You're starting your weekend. You're starting it. You're starting with something fun. You're starting with something good. At least we are. That's how old.

Pulling up to the. is jamboree. What is it? I never participated in one of those. I think I did like the first year I played football and I was like what is this? I thought it was like a party at first. I was like oh,

this is a party like for all the teams. And I was like, oh, we're playing. Damn. I thought we're just going and it was like a big festival. Now we're playing. Like a big cookout? Yeah, I was like,

what is it again? And I think like we didn't even play full games. I was like, I think we just played like a half or something like that. And I was like, what is this? I don't know. Yeah. And you played like multiple teams, right? Like you do like a half against one squad and then do another quarter against another.

I can't, I kind of can't even remember. But I do just remember. I was like, is this kind of for like for the cheerleaders or something? Like I just remember all the there's just 40 billion cheerleaders there. And then like that was the week when as you like when you guys are the side show when the football team was a side show that was the jamboree. And we were always playing schools that we'd never play before. So I was like, who's, uh,

who's holy, there was a holy something, bro. And I was like, we've never played that or, uh, I can't remember. They're a Navy team,

though. And I was like, I kind of don't. Little flower. I was like, who's little flower? Hmm. Yeah.

Always a weird. It may not be that good at football, but they would beat the shit out of you. Yeah. It's always, you always play a team with the wood. I'm so scared of the teams with the weird names. Always way too good or way too bad. And now like all the schools, I don't know, I don't know,

all the schools are like joining together. It's so weird because nobody plays football anymore. Yeah, that's really sad. I don't really want to talk about that. But I'm like, damn, those two schools teamed up. Like, can you imagine? Like, I was like, yo, St. Mark and St. Barnum is, like squadding up together.

That's like, that was like my dream growing up. I was like, if we could have, if we could have like that dude on our team, oh my God. I don't know. Kind of like a CYO Avengers situation. Yeah,

like three schools. Come on. That part is cool, but it is really depressing that like when we grew up, that was just like a way of life. Everybody played football and you had full teams all the way through third or eighth grade. And every school had full squad.

Like sure the smaller schools maybe had you know only 18 kids that they had to play both ways like you had a full team kind of a lot now it's just not that way 18 people on the team is kind of a lot Yeah man yeah you mentioned you You don't want to team rather be too good rather than dangerously bad because the teams that were dangerously bad No rules there I always fell bad Kids would like take their helmet itself maybe you're reliable when you're playing a team that was dangerously bad i always played so down to my competition every time i was like i kind of feel bad for them like i'm not going to try as

hard like make them feel at home for we'll still win but like let's just you know dude let's i want their parents to be proud of them a little bit make them feel at home you know make them feel at home a little bit like let's let's give them a good weekend let's still win but like let's you know let that kid score once but then there's always always one kid that's really good on their team and then he kind of takes over the game and now you're like god dang now we got to try now we're going to get upset by a little flower yeah no i was just about to say that but there was always a really good kid and maybe not a really good kid but just he was by far the best player on that team and part of you was thinking man once you come over our side you know

you'd fit in over here we could use you at a db or something transfer transfer but But then also, you were being that game and you'd be up by like, you know, 38 or whatever. And that kid, he would get really frustrated. You'd start crying. Man, come on, man. And these kids all have no idea. And you're like, uh, shoot. Sorry, dude.

I'm sorry. I know. I want to call off the dogs too. But Coach Asher is just going to be on our ass if we don't. So, hey, you got close teams out. All right. You got close teams out. You kid on the other team cries.

You're like, I don't want him on my team anymore. He's kind of a bitch, actually. I don't like him. We always had this one coach. We always had this one coach that no matter what we did, could win by 50, right? His post-game talk every time we knew is coming. And he would come up.

He probably did the same thing to you, actually. But he'd come up and he'd just say, potential potential potential a lot of potential we haven't reached that potential yet and we all what do we got to do he's so right though

he's so right but then party is like party's thinking are we are you just is this the company line I know I was like are we even good. Like, what do you guys talking about behind the scenes? I was like, are we like, can we like to be

honest, are we good or do we suck? Like, I know you say the same thing to every team, but like, come on. Let's, let's be realistic here. Sometimes I already think about what it's going to be like when Frank is playing. If he even plays football, all the way it's going right now with what you mentioned, right? It'll probably be outlawed by the time that he's ready to play football. Oh, yeah. But part of me, part of me is just, you know, I think about like, man, am I really going to be that dad that gets together with the other dads? It goes to a local watering hole and discusses our son's team when they're like 14. But then you're watching that game.

And, you know, I'm thinking, is my mind or my eyes going to readjust? Because now I've been so far removed that when I go and watch a freshman football game or even a varsity football game, you're like, oh, this is, this is slow. Like this is You could tell you could tell these are kids But when we were in it It felt like a movie It felt like you were in the league

Did every game That's what you grew up with Super Bowl every game Monday it was a Monday at 530 Right And so I'm already thinking Will my eye Will that mind trick happen

Will I revert back To how I was when I was 14, 15, 16 and how I saw it. No chance. You're going to be like, this is the worst game I've ever seen in my life, dude. I kind of hope so, because I don't want to get that delusional. No, dude, it's like watching, ew. It's like, it would be like watching a high school football game now.

I'm like, what was I all worked up about? These scrubs out here ain't no way, dude. And everybody's just like, no. Ew. Everybody looks like a white guy out there. We talked about it. Jersey all weird. Helmet all big.

I just needed somebody to say, hey, you're slow as shit. I just needed somebody to say that to me. Just straight up. I don't know, man. I thought I was so fast.

Because we were doing hand time, dude, hand time 40s. 4.3. I was like, all right, cool. I'll get a Florida state.

whatever. Electric time, 498. 53 all over the internet. Maybe I could be like the long snapper. Kind of a dream. Yeah, maybe we should take up special teams.

Maybe I should take up special teams. I was kind of good at punting at that Roncali football camp going into summer. Hmm. Maybe I could do that and go to the NFL. Guys haven't made, dude. Special teams guys during practice doing absolutely nothing.

Oh, yeah. And the coach is not even caring. They don't care. It's like a whole different sport. 10 minutes. We need you at the end of practice for 10 minutes. Every other position. Doesn't matter.

Any coach. Like, you're going to be dicking around over there? So crazy. Defense, yelling at offense, offense, the defense. Then you get the three special teams guys over there. Just fucking making TikToks now doing whatever. Yeah, like under a shadow.

because the coaches literally just turn a bright just literally turned the blindest side of those guys doing nothing I wanted to be him so bad not a high school football podcast okay that's not sports focus you got some new additions in the back there some new a dish some chickies um the old the old plan I bought from Ikea had no idea how it's still alive watered it twice put water in it there's water still in it i'm like okay i guess we're good on that it's like it's like a processed plant you know how uh people are like processed foods now everything you know they could have have lunch me that would survive a nuclear war it's a processed plant yeah i don't know i don't like everybody's all about plants i'm like i'll get a fake

I'll get all fake plants. What's, what's weird about that? Looks, looks great to me. Love a little plant though. Nothing wrong with a little plant. A little green,

a little popping green. Got a new candle. Start the weekend. Yeah. Oh, so those are like custom made tis, rotissory chicken behind you? No,

they're not custom. I just typed in rotissory chicken lights. First thing that came up, boom, get two of them. Team you. You ever on Team You?

no, it scares me. It scares me too. It was my first time. I had to make an account. I was like, am I joining the Illuminati right now? What is this? What am I going to get?

It took a long time to ship. It's like one of those things. You ever like, you ever get an Instagram ad? It's like something you really want because it's like tailored to all the things you've liked. And you're like, wow,

though, I could actually, I would actually buy that. And you actually do. And it takes like eight months to ship to your house. yeah kind of like these you forget it's coming everything I buy online I forget it's coming I'm not the guy that's like waiting by the package

department or by the by the mail room in my apart I'm like oh shit I bought that I never remember I'm like once I buy it when it gets here it gets here it's three years sure it's not on me I once bought Riley I once bought Riley a pair of boots It was like our first Christmas. I think I remember this. I believe it was our first Christmas.

Yeah. I bought our pair of boots from a situation kind of like Team You. Christmas. Christmas time stamp. Oh, or really on here. 1852 according to my phone.

So hopefully we'll have better video for me this week to these guys' Clubhouse on YouTube. Bottom four probably in November. which I'm thinking pretty early. That gives me a, right. That gives me a month. All right. It should be,

I know it's busy. I know it's the holidays. I know everything is crazy and delayed, but still a month. I think I'm all right. January 18th. They didn't show up until after, after Valentine's Day.

What did you do? You had to buy something else? Well, that was, that was wanted for gifts. wasn't just the gift. It was one of them. So she had other things. And I told her, I said, hey, I have this gift that I ordered.

It hasn't shown up yet. But I'm thinking that it'll hopefully, I don't know. I told her the situation. I was like, I didn't have very much money. So I said, hey, you know, she was in college. I didn't have very much money. I was like, hey, this is a pair of boots that I think would be nice that are from kind of a website that maybe it's, you know, a knockoff kind.

I explained the situation. She was like, oh, yeah, okay, no worries. And then I honestly did. I thought, man, somebody just got like $65 from me. And, you know, they're just pocketing it. I'm never going to see those boots. Then all of a sudden, one Friday in February after Valentine's Day, when I was getting ready to head up to Purdue to go see her for the weekend,

box shows up on the doorstep. It's the boots. You still like them? Yeah. Yeah, she got some good run out of those. Oh, for real? Yeah, she's warm for, I don't know, probably a couple of years. Dude, when a girl actually likes a present, you get them.

That feels good. That feels good, bro. You're like, wow, I really did it. I did it. I did the unthinkable. It was kind of high pressure, too. It was our first Christmas together. The highest pressure.

Yeah. So if you don't ever get some, like, confirmation, bro, and you're just like, I don't know if she likes that or not. Like you're kind of just like, so should we break up or what? You didn't like the boots. Are we done? So you, but yeah, we, we celebrated a Christmas like the Policci's that year. We were, you know, I had the last present of Christmas after Valentine's Day.

And, you know, it was a nice little holly jolly Friday. It worked out. It was all good. Just making sure Christmas is never over. December 25th. Hey, we haven't even thought about Christmas yet. We really did it on February like 18th one year. I remember because it was back when it was back when I had no ties, no responsibilities.

I wasn't around yet. Obviously, no kids. No, it was just me and you were the, you know, you were the same. You didn't have anything. So we're constantly together, constantly doing videos, right, whatever. And I remember been, hey, we. getting together to storm at 609 and you're like, ah, I can't tonight, man.

And I was like, what the hell is going on? Oh, yeah, you got something to do, probably. Yeah, dude, Christmas. Okay. So I learned my lesson there. I learned my lesson, but all good. Dude, I, it's kind of the best way to do it, but go ahead. No, no, no, no.

What, you have something? Not really. Not like you're lying up or something there. Nah. Got nothing. Went to the, went to the, went to the zoo yesterday. Whoa. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Stop. Took the kids. Took the kids. Kind of a nice day to go. Is it like Halloween at the zoo? Great. Yeah, bro.

Zoo boo. You know, you know whoever thought of that was feeling good of the rest of the day. Hey, Zoo Boo. walked out of that meeting like like zoo boo it was sweet man it was it was great that

I mean it felt like Disney World honestly that's how done up the Indianapolis Zoo was they had amazing pumpkins amazing Halloween decorations everywhere kind of some haunted house type situations workers were dressed up they had pumpkins and shit in the animal areas you know, the dolphin show was Halloween themed, right?

So they had about the dolphins on this. It was like their trick-or-treating and they had like a remix of thriller and everything. And then the common area when like the Halloween party was like starting later in the afternoon. They had a DJ and it was just so funny because he played just the most every Halloween song that you would immediately think of in the first five seconds when you hear Halloween songs. Those played right off the jump. It was classic. How did the kids like it? Oh, I loved it.

Frank was, he dressed up as a little like nature explorer guy. So he had like a safari outfit and a safari hat. Mirabella was a lamb. So she was all, you know, a little, little tiny like onesie that was super cute. But Frank, he was just everywhere. He had signed his first radio at the zoo, dude. He showed me around everywhere. So it was, uh, it was great.

But what wasn't great? was this is kind of the point why I brought it up. You forget how many field trips are going to be at the fucking zoo. Oh, nothing will ruin your day.

Like, is that a bus pulling up? God damn it. Bro, nothing I hated more than when a bus pulled up. A field trip? You'd be at the pool

in the summer. All to yourself, best day of your life, just you and your family. Pool day. bus pulls up. Oh my God. We have to interact with other people.

At a museum, bus pulls up. I'm like, dude, can you guys just leave us alone? Hey, and it wasn't just one bus, dude. There was a line of probably 22 buses just parked. Nothing will make you want to. God, that is one thing I haven't thought of in so long field trips. man and it was I mean I tell you it was every bit of I mean just just kids of all ages running around

one parent around trying to corral them you had the PDA couple and I'm like you guys are like 12 why are you making out in the corner at the zoo kill me now you had the kids who were like taking pictures like doing you know what I mean like that's all they're doing is like trying to like look hard take pictures at the zoo you know they're just doing some nefarious shit dude it was really was it was one of those like i was so excited to go with my kids you know like get the family's a nice little friday beautiful day pull up 18 million buses kids just running around everywhere i haven't been to the zoo in so long man i think i went one time in high school and that was it last time it's changed a lot i recommend it it was it was just pretty pretty dope little afternoon

had the chocolate vanilla swirl ice cream there fantastic can't beat it but the greater point I was texting some of my buddies about how I was just like yeah like having a great day at the zoo till 8 million field trips show up and the couple of them brought up great points they were just like got field trips just free reign to be the biggest jackass ever it was the bus ride where you could really like you could do whatever you want the bus was so fun on field trips so they always like had a little surprise we got to work on something for a field trip. I'm like,

it's never actually just a day off. Like, why is there always a worksheet we have to do at the field trip? I'm like, dude,

not now. Like, just give us a minute. So true. The worksheet. God. A, group worksheet on a field trip.

Dude, group worksheet on the field trip. I'm not worth a shit in that group. I'm like, hell no. Never. Give us one smart girl,

please to take the rain. just one just do it all Tiffany do it all Hannah do it all one smart girl and one guy that just like plays everything by the book you know probably has like a really strict dad and he just he doesn't really want to do it either but you know in his world he's just like hey it's just something we got to do like we're just going to get it done whereas me and you all of our friends the ones that were like, we're fucking around. You guys go over there and do it.

Appreciate you. Just not knowing any of the directions because I'm too overwhelmed by the field trip. I'm like, what are we doing? Shut the fuck up. No. What is there's too many things going on. Like, no, I didn't listen to a word this guy said. I did thinking about it now, I didn't listen to anything ever.

I'm like, how does everyone know what we're doing? High school? I'm like, I don't, how did you guys retain? all that info. I don't know. But the amount of times on a on a field trip, I'd panic during worksheet time. It'd just be the amount of times I like, wait, what? Wait. So what do we?

What is this we're doing? No, it's just like a reaction for three hours. All of a sudden, everybody gets quiet and starts working on something. And I'm like, how did you know? I'm like, oh, we're supposed to be writing something down. I'm looking around. No one's looking at me. I'm like, not even anybody is in the same like headspace as me right now.

What? Hey, but the teacher sees that you're just dumbfounded and she's just looking at you. Can I help you, Mr. Politi? Yeah, what are we doing right now? Yeah, you can help me. Sit over here and tell me all the answers. Hated asking questions. Oh, hated asking questions.

I was like, I. I just reached a point. I just reached a point in school and it was really great. And my mom and dad are going to be so proud to hear this. But I really reached a point pretty early on in school, actually. Not like super early. I'd say 7th, 8th grade. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Where I just accepted, I was like, you know what? Like, I just don't, I don't care about this. And it's not, it's not going to affect me in the long. long haul. Like when it came to like tests or projects or a worksheet at a field trip, if it was something like that where I saw like a bunch of people getting like really worked up about it, I always mentally for my own sanity, I would just be like, it doesn't matter.

I don't know. I couldn't think like that. I was like I got to get like a B or something on this. Right? Or else I'm going to get like screamed at. No. No. I mean, I, I, I, that's also why.

I, you know, I graduated and went to college and then graduated from college. And, you know, I think I got on a roll a few times. Oh, I did. But I did put in the effort, but mentally for me to not get completely out of whack, overwhelmed, panicked, I would just be like, I mean, like, it's just a test. Like, if you get an F, you get an F, whatever. It's just a test. stayed getting Fs though stayed

That's just how it works for me That's just what I found when I was in like seventh or eighth grade I mean it doesn't really matter We're gonna figure it out I always thought I said I said there's dumber people than me That have That are older than me that have gone on

And they're living perfectly fine And are successful and Like this science project in seventh grade If I don't get a 98% on it it's really not a big deal. I remember the one time, one time I was convinced I like had a problem was when like,

dude, all I think all the teachers called me into a room, just me. And they were like, they were like, you were the only one that failed I step. How do you fail? I step.

Bro, because like I didn't read one question. I was like, I don't think this matter. and I think the whole thing's fake was like my mentality going into it. So I was like literally just like I like I don't know if we get even personal grades on this. Like this might like go into like a big like school grade and they don't even see mine like is what I thought. So I was just like, dude, I was just like be, be not even reading the questions like C like the parts of the test.

It was like don't draw on this part of the test. I was like, you know. There's pages that were like, don't write on this page. I was like, big X. Like, dude, I was just like bad, dude. I was like, it doesn't even matter. Failed. And I think I like brought the whole school down.

So they pulled you into an office, the teacher's lounge or whatever. And they just said, hey, what the hell happened here? And it was just like somebody's classroom. And they were mad for real. And I was like, I don't know. I guess I just didn't like take it seriously. Like, dude, I probably cried or some shit. But like they,

they made me feel pretty bad about it. And I don't think I had to retake it either. I mean, to be fair, to be fair on your part, you're right. It's not like it's going home on a report card. That's what I'm saying. So I can see where you take, like,

yeah, I'm not going to go home and show my parents an F on an eye step. This is just something that they're doing research on and I got to do it. That I see where you're coming from on that. No, I was like, no one's going to ever see this. But this isn't going to see the light of the day. Like, cool. Yeah, I'll fail it.

Hey, this is just to give the teachers a day off. Eye step was kind of nice, you know? Because it's like where I step testing all day. I was like, okay. Bring a snack. Okay. This is a day off for me. I'm not trying on the test.

And they'd always be like so gentle with you. If you guys need a break from. test taking. We're going to have a 40 minute break coming up. I was like, shut up. All we're doing is sitting here drawing in circles. Gives a shit.

I kind of liked I said that day. It was kind of fun. I was like, all right. You take I step day over a regular day. No doubt. I loved an F off day, man. Oh, the magazine sale guys here. Oh, we have a public speaker.

I'm like, yo. Talk to me, mommy. Yeah, the field trips, though. That was a rude awakening at the zoo. Brought me back to, like you said, some fun times when you were able to. Because it always, if you got in a killer group, right, where you had two of your boys, you know, like a chick, you guys could kind of flirt with or whatever. And then that day, it was over.

It didn't matter who the chaperone was. And then maybe if you got one that was like your parent or your friend's parent so you knew the chaperone, that's when you could really have a day. It was when somehow the odd man out or they put you in a group that you're, dude, I guess I'll do the worksheet. I mean, honestly, I need something to get my mind off of this terrible group that I'm in. I'm having zero fun. I just want this day to be over. Looking over there, across the way at the zoo, your friends are having the best time of their life. just totally dicking around laughing their ass off

never in the hot group never in the hot group never in the hot class well I'm always in the loser fucking the group with the pale kids I'm like see because you I think it works out for you though because you have the ability to make any group fun I don't have that ability I got to be with the fun group

to let loose and be able to make it happen that's a nice compliment you know thank you no I disagree agree. But, no, because I'll go down with it, dude. I'll play down to my competition. If it's a loser group, I'll turn into a loser in four seconds and be like, for real. On a field trip, you always wanted to be in the, you always wanted to be in the group

with the kid who had the old parents and they were chaperoning. I was nervous about like lunch. It's like God. What do you mean? Like everybody's going to have like the coolest lunch. Like I'm just going to have like the run of the mill. Like the thing I get every day. Because it's like a big shit.

Carrots. Peanut butter jelly carrots. Capri's on. It's like a big like thing. I was always like God. Like act like you've brought your lunch to school before guys. Like come on. Everybody would have like the coolest thing.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my. Would you get? a fuck just peanut butter jelly shut up Caprice on sport if I'm lucky those Caprius on sports you know what I mean you know what I mean though like you wanted to be with

I hear what you're saying on the lunch but you want to be in the group with the kid who had the parent that he would literally look right in her face and just say shut my mom the nicest mom too had no business being there not wearing the right stuff letting you get away with murder.

Kiss my ass, mom. Okay, I want to be in that kid's group. Love that group. She's giving everybody gum and shit. You're like, yeah. Somehow the worst kid. Worst kid,

such a shithead to his mom still gets all the cool shit. Yeah, what is that? I'm like, you don't even care? There's rich kid, there's poor kid,

then there's rich kid in school. Rich kid was a dumb ass. Rich kid has had Xbox way too early. You're like, does your dad work for Microsoft? Had everything. Had like Jordans. You're like, what do you think this is? Hey, didn't even appreciate him now.

I know. Dirty the second day. We're dirty the second day. He got them. But like, and then had the new ones the next week. I was like, you're getting shoes every week. Blew my mind. Yeah, they kind of.

of kids that like for Valentine's Day we would get like a bag of starburst and they literally get like a video game. What was that? Well, dude, Valentine's Day? How was your Easter, bro? Got a basketball hoop. Easter? Since when are we doing presents on Easter? I got a payday. I don't want it. Maybe some jelly beans. Ew. I got Easter grass. all over my house. That's what I got for Easter. And you got a basketball hoop, clear backboard? Oh my God. I'll never forget. Yeah, I got two video games for Easter.

In your Easter basket? Like, how was that even packaged? Hey, get the new pair of Jordans and they're stocking in Christmas. What is that? That's not even a wrapped gift or like a Santa gift. It's just like, oh, yeah, they fit your stocking. Here's some J's. Dude, my parents would never. My parents would be like, what, what size are you? Like going out on a limb, buying me shoes.

Size, I don't know. Fuck out of here, no way. Yeah, rich kid on field trip to his mom chaperoning. She would bring like custom made rice, crispy treats and shit. Like, like, it's a dick. He's mean to his mom and she's bringing all that. His mom's looking all good too. You can tell she like got.

really ready. It was really preparing for it. Rice, Chris. Yeah, that kid, that kid was kind of an idiot in school and he was the kid that like his mom would bring in cupcakes for his birthday. You ever have that kid? It's my birthday.

Cupcakes for everyone. Dude, how embarrassing would that be? Can you imagine that? Yeah. If it was my birthday in school, nobody knew. I thought that was crazy. Okay, cool. It's your son's birthday.

No one cares. No one cares that it's Ross's birthday. I'm sorry. I was like, who are you, bro? Okay. Hey, I remember one time I couldn't eat the cupcake. Couldn't eat it.

Can't gain. I got to run the ball. It's fourth grade. I got to, I can't eat it. Literally 10 years old. Why do you have body dysmorphia? Fourth grade football.

CIO weight limit seriously I was like I can't eat it I can't eat the cut why not I was like dude happy birthday but I got I'm trying to like beat St. Pius so I don't know I don't tell you bro just always something

good for you more dismal than me dude I don't give a shit I was like I don't let's play lineback or whatever give me the Big Mac I just didn't want to give me the Krispy Kreme donuts on the birthday fuck it whatever I just felt so bad getting in a four points there are a three point stance. I was like, dude, I don't know. I don't know. I don't want that weird face mask. Like, I'll do, I'll do anything not to have the crossbow.

I remember they talked to me and do it. They're like, hey, we got new helmets this year, man. And I'd be like, cool. I don't know. Here, try this one on. You'll like it. Dude, the getting fitted for equipment part, like, leading up to high school, because you like couldn't make any decisions for yourself. People are just putting you. I was like, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed right now. Worst stuff. Let's get this guy a girdle. Gerdles, dude. One bar face. I was like, I hate this so much. I don't want to play anymore. I don't play anymore. I don't play anymore. Yeah, it was such a cardinals. It was a mortal sin to think about looking cool as a freshman. Freshman was bad, but yeah. Oh, can't.

PTSD. PTSD. Got quite a bit of clubhouse here if you want to check in on that. We're going in. I've never been on the side of it before. Oh my God. Bro. Here we go.

Subject. Team these guys at gmail.com. TCU's Chrome Helmets. Guys, this podcast is my comfort. show. Screw the office. Question. Since you guys are great stand-up comedians, I'm curious to know your top three stand-up comedians are. Then had a blasting you in Raleigh. Can't wait to see Joey in NC2. Slap me sideways with a poorly paved road while I'm eating crawfish on Bourbon Street. Thanks. Do you say names on that? Or no. I usually just say their first name. Yeah.

John. John J. Owen. John J. Owen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For some reason, I think he had a cool car in high school, but just me. Curious to know your top three. Huh? Sorry, the internet's all fucked up here.

When I hear John J. Owen, I think they had like a red, a red. shoot what was that fucking car called I can't remember what it's called it's something red and it's uh Chevy blazer it starts with a sea

yeah um top top three comedians always had to shit together john johen a lot of gel in his hair it's cool though

um I don't know man mine changes every day I try not to even watch comedians anymore because um I'll just start doing them you know what I mean but like OG

I like I like Bill Burr I like Theo Vaughn I like Sebastian Manascalco but there's I mean there's always dudes that pop up here and there like young dudes that I see and I'm like oh that dude's good I don't know it just depends

Nikki Glazer Yeah I'm with you on that I same Like it's just so weird I mean you just you want to have your own thing and you don't want to, you want to be influenced, but you don't want to be influenced at all.

It's a weird, uh, dynamic. But yeah, for me, like kind of what got me into like, oh, I think I would want to do that.

And I think that that's funny. And it makes me want to do that. Uh, John Mullaney, um, Jerry Seinfeld and, uh, Adam Sandler.

Yep. There you go. Dion Cole lately too. There you go. Not a, sports question for non-sport podcast hosts. He's right. He's right, right, right.

What up, fellas. I'd say happy Halloween, but it's already October. So Merry Christmas. Wanted to get your opinion on a debate I was having with my buddies a few days ago. We started talking about which animated Disney character would make the best running back.

This is crazy. Excluding a character like Hercules, I was just going to say that, who would absolutely fail a drug test, true. My answer was Aladdin. The elusiveness he shows while singing one jump ahead and holding a loaf of bread would really have a defense on their toes.

So smart. I feel like it would make the defensive coordinator really emphasize the point of saying, you got to watch the hips, boys. He goes where his hips go. I was wondering if you guys had any other takes. Would love to hear him slap my ass while I yell this guy.

Every time my girlfriend walks in the house to which he says, I literally don't know what you're talking about. What's that even from? It's a clubhouse thing. You wouldn't understand, babe. Best Disney running back? Oh, man.

Who you got, bro? Disney RBs. See, it's tough because it's one of those. How far are we talking in the Disney realm? Are we talking like original? kind of 90s era. Are we talking what can go into I mean, because everything's owned by Disney now.

So could you go like wreck it Ralph? Could you go? Who's that? Man. Yeah, dude, any of them ever. Rickett Ralph. Let me do Disney. I just need to because off the jump here.

I was the top of the dome. Nothing's really coming to mind. But I need a list in front of me here. You go ahead, look it up. I got one. Dude, who am I handing the ball off? Third in goal? 17 seconds left in the game.

Who am I hand in the rock to? The hunchback of Notre Dame. Are you kidding me? Bro, put that thing in his gut. That's pretty good. Two hands over the top. And, dude, it's giving me all-stop vibes. Just wrecking people.

I'll take him first pick. Hey, number 43. He was swinging from ropes and stuff, bro. He's got it. That's good because, and I think between Aladdin and hunchback, you have sort of a thunder lightning situation. Dude, that's just warwick done in Mike Alls thought. It really is.

There you go. There's your answer. And everybody knows what we're talking about now. honestly um you tarzan would crush yeah that dude's sliding on trees bro is just sliding on trees okay

you think he can't tight rope a sideline for 76 yards oh crazy just taking out cheetahs the beast the beast from beauty of the beast could do that

right he's a literal beast I mean you think you hand him the rock and he's going to be able to make something happen with it. Yeah. I never saw a beginning of Beast. I watched the live action play, but that was when I was like eight years old.

But I kind of thought Beast was kind of a pussy. I'm not going to lie. That's just going off not seeing the movie. That's probably just, I don't know, something, something going on there. Well, I think he's got, I think that's what's, so he's got a soft interior. He's a gentle giant.

But you get in between those lines, bro. Bees is not to be, he's not to be trifled with. He's not to be messed with. I think Bees is faking an injury all year. That's fair. I like the work done all-stop situation there. I think Tarzan would be better on defense, honestly.

Man, I put Tarzan at like safety or linebacker. Tarzan on a blitz? Come on. Linebacker for sure. That's what they all do. That's all the best ones look like. anyways. Hey, Tarzan on kickoff. Always a guy on kickoff with long hair. He would be Gunner Supreme. Special teams and say no. Yep. Long hair coming out of the helmet. Number 42. Tarzan.

These guys from Brian. First time, long time. Can we talk about the Fox College football scorebug? Yes, we can. Honestly, it's all I think about. The fact that the logos are tilted on an angle absolutely kills me. I love it. And the font they use for the team names and ranking is too handwritten. In my opinion, less is more. I'm here for the game, not your fun graphics. Unless it's December.

And they bring back the Christmas light timeout graphic. I'll watch any game just for that with you, bro. Also, do we miss a scorebook at the top left part of the screen? Sometimes I wish they would bring it back once in a while, like NFL team springback throwback unis slap my eyes with a king size kit cat bar you would get from a rich family's house while trick or treating

and he sent a picture of the scorebug this joint right here if you don't know what we're talking about your thoughts yeah I'll go first first here appreciate it Brian see I think I I like it because it's it's the college edition it's Fox College College And so they give that they go full in on the whole university pep band,

font, feel, look. Their theme song is the NFL theme song, but it just has the snare drumlines going. So I like how they lean fully into that, you know, because so much now like CBS on the NFL, in college football too, I mean, it's just a straight up bar with the two, with the two school or the two,

team colors and the score. Like that's too bland for me. It's, it's so CBS though. And it's too bland. I'm fully in on it, Brian. I think that Fox,

they, Fox is the ones who freaks it up with the, the Christmas lights on the scoreboard graphic too. Fox is always trying to do that shit, make it a little, little flavorful, a little tasty. So I like how it's tilted.

I like how it looks like it's like written on a sign. It's very college. I know it's a separator. Okay, this is the Fox College, this is a Fox NFL, do a hell of a job brand in themselves. No, I like that. I love the tilted logos.

Because it's just like, yeah, I like how Fox is trying something different. Nobody's putting tilted logo. Like, it looks like what you would put like on your Instagram story. It's like relatable. It's like, oh shit, they really put that on TV. I'm glad they like broke the mold of like, everything is so straight across and we're professional.

Shut up, dude. It's college football. Have fun. The font could, I can't believe they're using it because it looks like a font you'd like illegally download, which is cool to me too. I'm like,

did they steal that font? Like, I steal fonts on the computer. Like, that's just cool. Oh, you're talking about like in the example he uses right here, the bears what's written,

the bears and cyclones, how it's kind of like, like a sharpie. Yeah, it's like handwritten font. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I think it's cool. Yeah, I'm in.

If they did that for the NFL, I would be okay with the two, honestly. It's just like more fun to look at. NFL doesn't need to be all like, come on, guys. What are we doing here, actually? But, yeah, if it works well with college. And dude, you remember. remember when in the NFL, Monday night football, they would, football, no T, they would put

the nickname of the teams up there. So like the Packers and Dolphins were playing. It was just for a couple weeks. They put pack in fins on the scorebug. I don't remember that scoreboard. I don't remember that. They had just like you would say Steelers versus Colts. It just depended like on what teams, I think.

like the like green bay would play Miami and it would say pack in fins like on some fun shit if it worked out like that but the Steelers really don't have a nickname like for their right nickname you know damn I don't remember that man what what years are we talking

it was kind of kind of a minute ago like um we were probably in like middle school but it was a thing and I like it I don't know why it has to say like Pit and Ball you know why can I just say Steelers and Ravens

True why not is it because like I'm searching on here I can't see I don't know Weird maybe somebody remembers that it was like maybe like the Dennis Miller broadcast days that how like the peak the only thing I remember in my entire life when Dennis Miller was on freaking Monday night football yeah

Really? Sorry, we're having a live break-in here of Riley's really excited, scared this shit out of me. What happened? Something happened to our kid. Apparently, the kid hit the kick and gone college game day. Oh. She's really excited about it. Like won the Dr. Pepper thing? No, Pat McAfee's kicking contest and he does on game day.

Oh, that's sick. God, that scared the shit out of me. She comes of running down the stairs. screaming my name. Oh my God. For good reason. God, if I ever did that kick, it would go all the way to the left and hit some mom in the face.

And I'd feel bad for the rest of my life. I would laugh because she'd go she would probably like die or something. I'd be like, okay. Oh, that's the side of her face that she was paralyzed on. Jesus Christ. Okay. Oh my God. Jesus, oh, my bad.

I was just kicking it. Yeah, every time I kick a ball all the way to the right, I'm like, okay, when refs peaked from Zach, hey Joey and Benny, Zach from Wisconsin here, went back and watched the YouTube highlights of the Packers Colts game. Joe was talking about the other week and it got me thinking this was the absolute peak of the NFL as far as references go. Not many flags let the boys play. Oh, and white pants tucked into their socks looking like.

Itiro Suzuki, about to squeeze one down the line, the best. They look like they would smash a six-pack of cold ones in the locker room after the game and talk shit to the coaches and players. Do we need to bring back refs who look like Jim in the accounting department so we don't get all of the perfectionist calls and discussions we do today where they like take everything all literally and have this massive ego complex to them? Thanks, boys, smack my ass with Amman Green's elbow pads while Brett Farr steps into a throw like he's at the local carnival

trying to touch 90 miles per hour in the baseball radar gun booth. God, seriously. I watched that always, those always pop up on my TikTok. I watched the Dolphins and Colts highlights

from like Marino versus Peyton Manning last night. So weird. I feel like the Colts and Dolphins that are always playing in the late 90s, early 2000s. Weren't they in the same conference though? I swear the dolphins were in their conference.

Their division? Yeah, my bad. I think it was like dolphin. It was something, something. I think the dolphins always played the Colts. I was like, what is happening here? So, so AFC. I just remember like Jay Fielder.

He always went off against the Colts for some reason. They always have that guy? I think it's Feedler. Maybe. Feudler? Yeah. Jay Feed. And then there was Jay Feely, too. And I was like, are this same guy?

Are they cousins? Jay Feely's the kicker. Jay Feedly's the kicker. Jay Feidler was the quarterback who kind of looked like a kicker for the dolphins. Were they both on the dolphins? I don't think Feely ever was on the dolphins. Feely, bro. Feely for three, yes.

That's all. always got me about Peyton Manning is like, you know, fucking incredible quarterback, best ever, yada, yada, yada, but it was always quarterbacks like Jay Fiedler that would just absolutely give him fits, dude. Just the, Jay Fiedler, Billy Volick. Uh-huh. Billy Volick, what? Now sports podcast. Once you throw a Billy Volick around like a, whoa. You know what mean, though? I hated those quarterbacks so much. They were just like two-year contract guys

who just absolutely kill your team. Josh McCown. My God, dang, dude. Dude's gonna put up 35 points on us. It was Jay Feedler. Oh my God. Like, dude, no way this guy is an NFL quarterback.

Dolphins Feedler jersey. Wish I could share screen can't. Dolphins Feedler jersey. there were probably so many of them. Franchise Fiedler? Jay Franchise? See, it's guys like that that I feel bad for in a way because they were just ahead of the time

to where if that dude would have been playing today, he'd be so memeworthy and he'd be all over the internet and he probably have a funny, quirky little personality. He'd probably be super famous because he'd be on a network somewhere, even though he was just the middle of the road, to your contract quarterback.

But because he did it from 98 to 2000, people like us are just like, hey, remember that Fiedler guy? Whereas now he'd be like on Amazon Thursday night football. Jay Fiedler, dude. Household name. Just crush in your soul every Sunday. Feedler?

There's one. There's a, people are three. Fiedler, Dilfer. There's so many of those quarterbacks. Dude. and you're just like, Gerbeck.

Curback. Comment your favorite like a quarterback that made you mad. Oh man. Neil O'Donnell. Bro, go retire, please. Every time I'd be like, hey, Carrie Collins, hang it up.

It could be who played for your team. You know, the quarterback that you're just like, God, this guy taking snaps for us or a quarterback that just crushed your soul. every week, like how Joe Flacco seemingly always would do that shit to the Steelers. Joe Flacco, best quarterback ever. From Adam, what's up, boys really hoping you guys are able to make it down to Atlanta sometime in the near future.

Chris Collinsworth voice, damn. Now here's a town who loves talking about sports holidays and Brett Farb tearing up the Atlanta bar scene, his rookie year with the Falcons. Not that those topics are ever discussed on this podcast, but just saying, these guys would crush. Anyways, I had a question come to mind while thinking about Halloween costume ideas. And the fact that we also dress up

for most of the other holidays throughout the year without really thinking about it, could the ultimate Halloween costume actually be a combination of Halloween plus the top apparel items we wear from all the other holidays, a.k.a. Holiday Man. Working title.

I was hoping you both could compile your top pieces of gear. year from any holiday no matter how big or small. Craft up a next level holiday, man. Conglomerate. And I already know the Michael Myers and $400 screen mass are making the cut. Slat my ass harder than the Corps light train bursting through a brick wall, dishing out royal blue mountain silver bullets to every patron nearby while love train plays

ever so softly in the background. Thanks, Adam. Picture attached. that might be the best picture of all time actually God look at it it should be it should be him with the four bar face mask far of rock and the running back face mask as a quarterback insane bro

whoa I don't what was that I always see that picture I'm like does he know what he's doing there or like was that just like the last face mask left like why did he have a running back it's so far to just be like like yeah, I guess I'll take it.

I'll take the same mask work done has. God, I love our listeners so much, man. So funny. Just so good. Just people just speak in the same language. Holiday, man. We don't talk about holidays on this podcast. I don't know what you're talking about.

It's got to be the flannel pants. Flannel Christmas pants. Right? I can't think of it. many other holiday pants. Maybe khakis like Easter. Easter's so khakis. Yeah.

You could start with Easter. You could start with khakis and then everything else is got to be crazy because then I'm thinking you wear like a turtleneck with a sweater vest combination for Christmas. And then you have Michael Myers mask on with a green top hat for St. Patrick's Day. So you have Halloween Michael Myers mask. You have green St. Patrick's Day with the top hat. You have Christmas with the turtleneck and the plaid type sweater vest.

Bunny feet for Easter. And before you leave the house, you put on the glasses that say 2, 2025. Boom. Those glasses every year. Do you have a Thanksgiving tie? What do you wear on the day? It could be khakis, bro. Could work with the cacks.

It could, but I'm thinking maybe there's a jacket. Like, I don't know. I think maybe what about like a, what about like an old school starter NFL jacket that you have to throw on over your nice stuff to go to Grandma's house? Because it's cool on Thanksgiving. Dude, a starter lion's jacket?

Were those even made? Sometimes I feel like the NFL didn't like skipped on lion's stuff. Like, no, not for the lions, though. I've never seen a lion starter jacket out in public. Never. I think that's it, though. I think we just made Holiday Man. Just me and you.

Holiday, man. So to recap, Easter Bunny, like live action Easter Bunny feet that are like slippers, khaki pants, sweater vest, turtleneckonet combo with a lot lion starter jacket, a Michael Myers mask with the 2025 glasses on and a green top hat, holiday man. And you take your Easter bunny slippers off before you go in your relatives house and your socks just have a little hearts all over them. And there's a hole in the bottom.

On the day. And your big toes sticking out of them. Shit. Sorry. Hockey guys from Matthew Wood. Dear Ben and Joey, I love the show. and I love listening to your takes on sports holidays and the good old days. The good old days, bro.

What's their podcast about just the good old days? Good old days. Even if the podcast isn't about any of those things. I know you guys are football guys, mainly with basketball and baseball sprinkled in there. As a big hockey fan, I thought it would be entertaining an entertaining exercise to see how many of the 32 NHL teams he can name between the two of you.

Smack my ass like Coach Gordon Bombay. and the team USA smacked Iceland in the gold medal round of the 1994 junior goodwill games. It's knuckle puck time. Oh my God. I don't know anything about hockey, dude. Hockey is like, hockey for me is like, you know how I always say every year. I was going to be my gaming console Christmas. Every year.

I think this is the year I'm getting a PS5. I swear at the start of every hockey season, literally right now. I was just like, man, I think, I think this is a year. I'm going to, like, tune in. I'm going to follow it. I'm going to watch hockey. I'm going to get in hockey. Never do.

I always have some soft spots for hockey teams, though. I'm like, why do I, deep down? Why do I care so much about the Philadelphia Flyers? Like, for some reason, I'm like, they never get any love. We just didn't grow up with it, you know, like at all. It just wasn't a part of our lives at all. Calgary Flames, that logo. I'm like, ooh, that is tough.

The sea that's on fire? that's two Dallas stars Dallas stars Green jersey oh the black Colorado Chicago Blackhawks

Colorado Avalanche it's ruining my life as a kid uh Detroit red wings almost said wed wings Red wings Wed wings

Boston Bruins Boston Blue ones Pittsburgh Penguins Boston Bruins wow um hey Buffalo Sabers

Nice. Vegas Knights. Nashville Predators. Nice. New Jersey Devils. Running out of steam here. New Jersey Devils. Insane.

See, dude, hockey has some cool logos and names. Yes. I love the hockey branding. Yeah. Islanders. Tough. New York.

It's like the Yankees of hockey. What's up? Tampa Bay Lightning. Oh, yeah. Hey. I don't know what it is. Hold on. Phoenix coyotes.

Are they a team? Or did the whole team fold? I think it folded recently. Very recently, I think it did. A Utah hockey club? Just saying. Seattle Cracken? Yeah, when they came out,

I was like, all right, that's a dope-ass team. NHL knows what they're doing. Hey, LA Kings, St. Louis Blues. Oh, St. Louis Blues with a note. Oh,

it's so cold. Best colors. Edmonton Oilers. That's one I never would have guessed. Winnipeg Jets. Is that a team in America? No one knows. No.

how are they in the NHL? I don't get that honestly teams that aren't in America I'm like how are you in the American professional sports thing Toronto Raptors I'm like what okay

why aren't there Maple Leafs hey the Canucks San Jose sharks fire there's another or a I mean

the mighty ducks. Are they even the mighty ducks or is that the movie? I don't think so. There's just the ducks. Yeah. I only know these because I played NHL hits.

That might be my number one game. I think we did a pretty good job. I think so too. I know we missed a couple. I want to be a hockey fan. I want to be a hockey fan. I want to be in it. People did play that video game.

nonstop. Like not NHL hits. They play like the NHL game. Yeah, that's it. These guys, episode 103, comment the quarterback that crush your soul or just the quarterback you hate. This isn't a sports podcast.

I don't even know what we're talking about, stuff like this, but, or a reminiscent of podcast or anything like that. We don't talk about holidays either, but. Yeah. go see Joey, New York.

When is it? November 9th. November 9th. Comedy Festival. Dude's a top five creator in the world. Go see him. Where is it? Where's the venue?

I forget. I'll get that next week. I don't remember. I'll figure it out. And then San Diego, November 7th, Buffalo, November 14th. Get your take. He's Benny. Come out, see me.

It's going to be fun. It's going to be a party. But, hey, we've gotten, I've seen, we're getting more and more ratings on Apple Pod. So appreciate that. Yeah. Get us the five stars. Let's go. Four stars is fine.

You know, if you get a little beef because, you know, you're saying it's not a holiday podcast, whatever we talk about holiday. It's all good. But, you know, keep it up there. Have you ever? Yeah, rate, review. Tell a homie to subscribe on YouTube. If you have nothing to say for the review, just say Jay Fiedler and we'll all throw up

All right yo Curtis Martin oh my god Zach Thomas These guys