THESE GUYS! - Donnie Donuts

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

On this ep the burpy bois discuss injuries they've suffered (bc of girls)⭐️ 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 & 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦Plano, TX - Apr 2 https://www.micdropcomedyplano.com/shows/305073Rochester, NY - May 5 https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1229938Las Vegas, NV - May 24 https://www.wiseguyscomedy.com/nevada/las-vegas/arts-district/e/benedict-polizzi

I'm always down. I'm talking about Daddy's on air. Yeah, I mean, Clubhouse has heard, but... Daddy's on air. Watch out, motherfuckers. Daddy's home. Uh-oh. Ding-dong.

Daddy's on air. Haven't seen my family in 13 months. Uh-oh. Not bad for a fat guy. Ready and Teddy to go. A little bit quieter now. You know a little bit quieter now. You love it's soft a minute.

It's a little bit something. Yeah. We're talking about it. We're talking them into weddings. We're making progress. Dude, if I ever get married, just be in the back. In object. Hey

Don't no no no I bet all right yeah he's right Best man objects I'd be like dude that is the best man ever He knows perfect wedding perfect timing perfect wedding can we still have the reception though But just no girls That'd be so sick

What do you want to do? I don't know I just listen to Gorillazoe probably Gorillazo pizza seven TVs No one shows up, perfect. Only college shorts from sports fanatics. Best wedding reception ever. No girls.

Waffle shirts and college shorts. Landards that you walk in, bro. That's like the wedding gift. Everybody gets a lanyard. We're also talking like, we're talking like the 09 shorts. So they're like down to your calf.

Just everybody being their true self. Yep. That's our wedding reception. Everybody has fake Jordan's on. Come one, come all. Don't you push some ticks? Push some ticks. Tickies, tickies.

Plano Tex. See you Wednesday. See you Wednesday. Can't wait. Mike drop comedy club in Plano. Get your tickies if you have it. Then Rochester, New York, May 9th and 10th in Las Vegas, Nevada, May 20th. Fourth, get all your tickies.

Bennypilitsy.com. We're the link right under there. And remember, get some merch, get some TG merch. Get some clubhouse, clubhouse hoodies, clubhouse hats, not bad for a fat guy hats, everything at benedickmerch.com. Link below. Tie to tie, tight, tight, tight. Dude, fill me in on the billboards, man. Wow.

That was insane. They were like, yo, you want to come out here and do this for the Billboard music awards? and I was like, yeah. And it was all women. And I was like, this could go good or really bad. It'd be risky. So I prepped.

They sent me a list of who's going to be there. So I just like, dude, I just did deep dive on everybody. And I don't know. It was insane. It was like a frenzy. Red carpet's like the most overwhelming situation of all time.

Just a thousand media people that are like, ah. And then it was like, you know, celebs just running down the whole entire thing and you're like who's who trying to figure it out and I'm just up there standing on a curb like damn girl I don't know it went uh it went well but um I think it went well but it was it was pretty fun and it was only an hour it seemed like uh the whole thing was like three days long but it was only an hour we were out there and

hopefully I can crank out some more vids from it but it was cool it's cool that people knew who I what? I was like, what? Yeah, dude. Megan Trainor. Wow. Sick. But it kind of seemed like she had a vibe that I was like, did you go to my high school? Like, it was like that. It just

seemed like I knew her from a past life or something. Did you guys exchange contact info? MT, first TG guest, MT. It was a real, it was a real bang, bang situation. Didn't have time to pull out the phone. What's insane about those situations?

too is that all those people have like 8 million publicists and like handlers and I mean you can bear I'm surprised like that that says a lot about her true feelings about you the fact that like nobody stopped her nobody like directed her somewhere else

she made her way over there that means that her feelings really trumped what her entire team of handlers and publicists really wanted her to do which is probably just to keep going because they want to avoid anything that could put them at risk at all costs, right?

But she said, nope, I'm going to see Benny. So that's big. It's big, man. Just freestyled it over there. But, yeah, every person had eight people with them. Yeah. And they'd all come up to me and be like, what are you going to say? I'd be like, let me cook.

And they'd be like, no, tell me. And I'd be like, shut up. Uh-huh. But yeah, but yeah, I got her number. No, I'm just kidding. That's what it's like, I went to a charity kickball game a couple summers ago. And I remember I took. I took our boy cheeks

I took Evan with us with me and he wasn't really doing anything there like he wasn't like a you know he wasn't videoing anything or anything like that I just like didn't want to ride solo you know yeah

and one of the guys there was just like and who's your boy and I was like I tried to I didn't know if he was gonna like think it was weird or like think like he needed to have a reason to be there so I was like this is Evan he's my he's my great friend he does like videography so he's probably gonna catch some stuff for me. He's just like, oh, dude, you don't got a, you don't got a sugarcoat anything.

He's just like, you can't go anywhere by yourself now. I was like, damn, that's a good point. So it's like me and you, we may not be to the point where we need like seven or eight people, but like you got, you can't just show up solo. You got at least have one, maybe two people with you. Nothing better than showing up solo. Nothing better. No, I hate that. I hate it. To a big event, yeah, kind of, you always need to need a little help. But, Going solo to like just a low key like going solo to a, you ever gone solo to just a movie, like at a movie theater? Like that's. I actually have never done that before.

Dog. You got to try it, bro. Going solo to eat? Come on. I've done the eating. Yeah. Eating, no problem. I mean, like college, how many times you just need to like get out of class?

They don't want to mess with anybody. Don't want to throw headphones on. You go grab something. You're just sitting there. You're like, don't get a shit. Want to eat. just like listen to Tupac or me or a podcast and just leave me alone. So I'm in a big Tupac kick right now.

I had to live and die in L.A. on this morning. I was making eggs for the kids. So. So. Sitting by yourself in college. Sitting by yourself anywhere when your friends walks by you. Yo, is it Stephen Glansberg every single time? Still, still.

Shut up. You got to have buffer them. man. It's got to be buff. You need Jimmy Buffett with you, man. You can't. Dude, I don't give a shit about Buffett.

I don't give a shit about Jimmy Buffett. I know. You're insane like that. Now, if I go anywhere, it doesn't matter if it's, I mean, besides going to get coffee, going to get some quick bite to eat,

especially in college, but I just mean now I'm going to a house party. If I'm going to a bar, if I'm going to, it's definitely an event, an event of any kind. Now, I need, I need a buffer.

You got a roll. somebody yeah i don't know it's it's the people that roll up to a party that like solo i didn't come with anybody i'm like oh my god i actually love you it's like you came here by yourself that's how much you care crazy yeah it's also it's like a lot of confidence maybe too much confidence yeah maybe you leave you didn't bring anybody you selfish ass get out here don't need you dude those days not a reminiscent podcast but when like Like the invite would be sin out. And then from there, you would have one of your friends.

You thought that like you would just say, hey, this is going down, see you there. And they hit you back with who's all going to be there or some shit like that? You're doing that shit? Get your ass over here. I need you with me. Who's there? Dude, that kind of splits up your whole entire friendship. You're like, I don't even know if we're.

Are we still close? Definitely. When I got hit with a who's there by somebody. who I thought was like, you're supposed to be here no matter what. And, yeah, question your whole life.

It does matter, though. Who's there? Who's coming? I'd rather, oh, this is tough. Would you rather have a,

who's there guy or can I bring such and such? Can I bring's rough. Unless it's like a, it's like a premier person. You know what I mean? Like, oh,

like I don't know, you can't just bring some run I always end up saying yes no matter what to that. It's a tough situation. It really, it's circumstantial because, hey, you might be at a spot where like,

you need some people over there. So you're like, bring literally everybody you know. Anybody who will get in the car, come. We need numbers. We need numbers at this point. But then it's always flip-flop

and never works out that way. It's always when you, when you are desperately needing people to get there, it's the who's there. Nobody's here yet, dude. But then when it's a, situation that's kind of a prime event. Maybe your numbers are limited for an open house or something like that.

Didn't they hitch you with that? You care if I bring Tommy and Phil to? They're both weed kids. Dude, I can't have high kids and thermals and waffle shirts at my open house. They're going to find the sunroom too quickly. And the thing's going to smell like weed for literally six months, dude. summer it's hot out here they're going to be ripping blunts out there it's just going to bake in the sunroom too obvious but yes they can come because we're low on numbers my mom's going to know

they're high the low on number battle man man got ever worked out the way that you wanted to it's all about numbers at a house party but then sometimes you know it was always until you get your box stolen it's always the best night of your life though when it's, I don't know, 8.30 and you're low on numbers. And you're like, what? Huh? How did this happen? This sucks.

This is worst case scenario. And then within like a 23 minute time frame, all of a sudden, it goes from worst night of your life to like everybody's coming now all of a sudden. And then it's just crazy. That wave. Yeah. Or it's when you don't expect it at all. You know?

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. You're just trying to have a low-key night. All of a sudden, 16 people are here. The girl that you thought no chance in house she would come. She's just in your living room. I didn't even know you, like, did stuff like this.

Yeah, we were just like with them and we heard. There's thumbnail right there, my face. Girl, it's a year older than you. Somehow shows it up at your open house. Anytime she's looking at her phone or talking to your friend, you and your friends are just like, you're like, bro, she's here. Yeah.

time she looks away. And when she leaves, you're like, thank God, dude. Too much pressure. Too much pressure. Now you just have fun. Then you just post up in the kitchen. Just your ass repeat. I put up in a new book.

She comes back in. You got to get your shit back together. Oh, my God. Change the song to country again. Whatever she liked. You want to drink some of my mom's wine? What do you want? We need to just do this, man.

I sound so much like my dad right now, but God, between Snowden and then just like summer house party, there's this series of movies that me and you can write that all take place in the same location that are like an hour and 35 minute long comedy and it's all just this coming of age shit from kids that are our age back in like 2012, 2013.

Snowed in. Great movie title. All right, yeah, let's just take like two years off and just write movies. I mean, it's what's going to have to happen, honestly. You can't do all this shit and write movies. Like, I'll blow my head off. Yeah. Or we can just do like our own version of spring break.

Me and you go somewhere secluded and we just lock ourselves in it with like the beach out there. We just do nothing but right. I love that. There we go. You just lock ourselves in Phoenix, Arizona. Tough not to get distracted. We're just, we end up at like a put-pug course. Like, what fuck are we do?

That would be so awesome. You just abandon your family. Your opener said that to me. Like, I remember, was that Christmas of 23 when he did your show in Indy? She was like, what are you sweating about? I was like, well, my kid's just sick. I'm like, Christmas is coming up. So, like, I just, I got a lot with like the family.

She's like, hey, that kid's not going to miss you. He's too young. get out of here go like leave them that's so true you're talking about Asia yeah so first time i met her she was just like he's not gonna know a damn thing i just grow up without you i was like not gonna do that but but kind of true yeah just abandon them you're good yeah um should we do weekend stats real quick oh yeah you got another you got another packed weekend what's up no you uh you got back on your shit this weekend food stats i got back on back on it last week but then the weekend came sunday sunday like you said last week went a little crazy sunday's a tough day bro feelings and thoughts

that you've never had creep into your head on sundays and i was looking for trouble at the grocery store you're right you know i'm at my i'm at my parents you know so like Like, you got Nona and Nona's. It's just a different feel, right? So I was good Friday, Saturday, because there wasn't a whole lot going on. But then Sunday comes around, go to the coffee shop brought by our house. Of course, on Sundays, they got first donuts. Dangerous.

Dangerous. Coffee shop by the house. Dangerous play, dude. You'll spend an extra like $700 a year because of that. maybe like 1700 yeah and it's sunday morning and there's nobody in there and having a nice little morning at the house don't have any coffee creamer though so i'm like hey i'll go get us some coughs a little sunday treat over at the place right by us right like yeah go why does it feel so good to bring people coffee just to be the guy walking in hey everybody i got two extra bring yeah you always do that it's very appreciated but just like and also the coffee walk like like

Over there to get it? Dude. Who's saying no? Yeah. You got to go. It's just so, it's so much fun. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. What's that from?

Dun-da-da-da. Every time I, every time I... The Andy Griffith's show, bro. Yeah, dude. How come I turn into Andy Griffith every time I walk to get coffee? Then-an-da-da-da-na-ne-ne-ne. Never been happier. That whistle.

That whistle's nice. Whistle what all that that that show is just constantly on to my grandpa's garage in his TV in his garage never not Andy Griffith. Perfect. Always drinking coffee. So hop over there and I am. I'm feeling good Sunday morning. Local coffee shop on Sunday morning when it's real early. You know, it's like it's a club.

Pre-church rush. No, it's nice. Oh, pre-church. Coffee shops at 11 a.m. Probably peak. Peak club hours. So hop in there, get some coughs. They got local donuts, of course.

I'm like, can't be dad on Sunday morning and not bring the kiddos back some donuts. They love you so much. They love you so much, bro. Your son loves you so much. Mac and cheese and donuts, it's all he's thinking about. And you deliver. It's really my daughter now, man. My daughter, Mirabelle.

Donut queen? Lord. Oh, my God. Donut holes? You put her on donut holes yet? Dude, she's not yet. Oh, wait till the day, dude. I'm going to bring them over.

She's finally saying like, da, da, da, you did that. So she has made that all the time. So cute. But, but I did, I did my, you know, I did my dad due diligence, right? Like, Rye was making eggs and like a solid, wholesome Sunday breakfast. I was like, okay, I got to still have some sweets, but I hit them until after the kids had their, their stuff, right? It was like. Vet, dad's move.

Get some egg and bacon in you And then, oh, what's up? Hey, yo. Whoops. Right. Yeah. So he did that. We each enjoyed a little donut on Sunday morning.

What are the kinds, dude? What are the kinds? I need the Dietz. Really the big three. Don't know. You went with cake. You went with OG glazed. And I think you went with OG glazed

with the chocolate dipped. Two out of three. What was the other one dipped in? Um, how did it just be, was it vanilla? Was it pink? Ooh,

nope, stick with it. Vanilla. Yeah. Vanilla. I don't know. I love a, all of a sudden,

I just love a Homer Simpson looking donut. Sometimes my son. They only have them at, they just look so fun. Walk by Dunkin' Donuts in an airport. I see a Homer Simpson donut. I'm like, God.

Pink with the. sprinkles, dude. Put sprinkles on anything. Yeah. I'm in. So rip that. Then we're heading down to my folks. You'll Sunday hang out. Get the kids in the car. Head to a spot down there. Dude, I get an Indiana hot sauce tenderloin. The hell.

It's always been such a thing about Indiana's tenderline. I've never seen anyone eat one ever. Tenderloin, Tenderloin. Who's ever had one? It was so good. I did yesterday. Was it? Where'd you get it? Where do they sell them?

Was it this bit? Was it the size of the map? No. The country of America? It wasn't the US of A with the District of Columbia bun right on top of it. It wasn't that. It always has Florida. The tenderloins always have a Florida.

And I'm like, dude, you guys just, it's literally the U.S. How should we shape them? U.S. Okay. No. It was just a. regular regular ass sandwich but i have this indiana hot barbecue sauce so good right so i have that my folks and then of course my folks had picked up they knew the grandkids are coming over they picked up

a box of donuts for the grandkids you went donut old donut two-time old repeat Robbie on the donuts whoops hey all of a sudden you never got donuts in the morning whoops i don't know can't remember did i Bro, my new name, I'm about to just be at Donny Donut. Yo, Donnie! Every Sunday wakes up, Donnie. Only on Sundays, dude. Different driver's license.

You get pulled over, you're like... The police somehow just understand. Now have an East Coast accident. They're like, oh, it's Donnie. He's going to get his donuts. You got to sprinkle on your mouth, Donnie. Get out of here. Stupid.

But then here's the kicker, BP. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. My sister and her husband and her kid are over there. What did they bring? My sister made funfetti sugar bars. I got to go. Bars?

Yeah, dude. They were, you know, it was like, basically like, like brownies but they were just you know kind of in the fun fettie brownies god bro i will flip this whole desk over god that's that dude that's the thing nobody makes you okay you see the fun fetti box and then there's like alternate desserts on the side in the back nobody makes us but she sure yeah i always see those and i'm like who's made like why aren't we do why isn't that the featured product. On tiny brownies?

I'll kill everybody. Here's another little anecdote about it. They have dinner on my brother-in-law's side in the evening. So my sister made these technically for that dinner, but she brought them over to my parents. What a stupid move, right? I'm like bringing my third back to the couch, and my sister's like, Well, we were going to take those over to Greg's parents, but I don't think there's going to be any left. I've pulled that move so many damn times.

When somebody makes dessert for something else and they don't tell you and you just take it out, bro? Oh, my God. I was like, that's on you. That is so her fault. You just set them down? What, try one? I'm having seven. Minimum.

Dipping them in shit. Having the timer, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What was on TV? Hey, watching the Cubs. Cubs are back. Go, Cubs, go. Go, Cubs go.

With funfetti bars. Smack my ass. Push me into a pool. It was a great Sunday until they blew a four-run lead the eighth inning and lost. No, not sports podcast. All good. Yeah.

Dump. I got that. Not sports podcast, even though I'm wearing a baseball jersey, because it was just an opening day. What's up? It's early. It's early. It's early.

And then, okay. And then I think you'll like this one, too. Sunday night, back home. Kids are sleeping. Me and Rye watching a little, little murder trial documentary that we like to do, you know, wind down. So we had such a, we obviously have stuffed my face on Sunday afternoon that we didn't really have dinner.

but it was like 8 o'clock so I was starting to get a little hungry oh yeah oh god you dash didn't you no dude no donnie dash no donnie dash no rossgo dash on on sunday night got made a little snack plate ride made a little snack play for us sounds dangerous caramel and cheddar popcorn apples with peanut butter strawberries and sparrows spicy pickles. Let's go. Strawberry's straight up. You cut the tops off or what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice. Yeah, but the apple with the peanut butter, that'll get you messed up, bro. I was addicted. Remember? I was on the PBA tour for a long time. Peanut butter apples every night, the tour, PBA tour. You were Pete Weber of that PBA tour.

tour for sure. How do you think you are? I am. Every night. That's right. You can take out a whole jar of peanut butter easy with one apple. Not a whole jar. Yeah. I mean, I can now. Bro, just the amount of peanut butter that goes on that little sliced apple, like the portion can slice. It's such a good scoop of it, man, you know? Dude, you cut an apple like straight this and it's just, it's a plate. an apple is just a plate for peanut butter it's not even an apple anymore this is for peanut butter and then you jazz it up you get some different peanut butter maybe some cinnamon peanut butter maybe you don't go bro i'm telling you you take a hard long look in the peanut butter aisle you got to like a specialty store sometimes but like they'll have it at like uh croger mire stuff like that

if you look hard enough dude there's like some chunky monkey peanut butter there's some cookie crumble peanut butter they're like off brand little uh okay so it's not jiff action it's like peter pan jiff's not going down that road either's peter pan the household names aren't doing it but there's like some i can't remember it but uh yeah there's some different brands down there bottom shelf that'll that'll really like like what is that and you eat the whole thing that's that's a two night jar dangerous You want top shelf booze and you want bottom shelf peanut butter. Yep.

I don't know why we're not making a bigger deal about just Reese's having their own peanut butter. That's true. Like, I just pass by it every time. The Reese's has its own peanut butter and we're not buying that. Like it, I feel like there should be a line wrapped around the store for that. Totally. Just Reese. Yeah.

It's not a peanut butter podcast. No, I want this to be a peanut butter. Maybe it is a peanut butter podcast. That'd be great. Should we hop into the mailbox here early? Let's do it. Yeah. Because I think we cut it short last time.

Yeah, we're always kind of like squeezing a bit at the end. Clubhouse. Into it here quick. Let's go to Stephen. It says Rick Bettino and Nick Saban. Same guy? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, who was it? Rick Petino and Nick Sabin.

Oh, close. two vampires. Yeah, Sabin's just the southern version and Patino's just the East Coast Italian version. Two of the scariest people I've ever seen in my life. But somehow it's kind of good head of hair on both of them.

Yeah. Like, you guys should be completely bald. With all the stress, they should be so bald. And Saman's got that solid, rich, like, mahogany hair color still. And Patino still has the jet black. I think you might have, like,

a little bit of like Corella Deville gray in the middle. That's sick, dude. When people have the weird patch of gray, all of a sudden, I'm like, that's actually like, cool. Only works when you have dark hair and it's like off to the side a little bit. I'm like, this is a great to... Robert Kardashian style. Mm-hmm.

Gintz, emailing you during my beloved St. John's tipping, we had to endure four years of Chris Mullen lighting my tuition money on fire to be decent. We'll probably be bounced before the next pod, but I'm hearing. for the madness. Sorry, Stephen. Pretty sure you were correct. My question is this. Sorry for being a fake fan, but can you explain the origin of Daddy's on air? Slap my ass so I muttered, get the ball, and so many sports and social situations for years that my girlfriend now says it to when she's locked in and has absolutely zero context. Inception clubhouse. Take care, Steve. Get a book, get a bo, get a get him up. Try to snap a vid under the radar of your lady doing.

that next time because I just seeing any female do that it would be hysterical I think he said his girl says get a ball yeah that's amazing I got to see that yeah that's gonna be a tough one to pull off but if you can do it so quick anytime anything drops on the guy drop your wallet Just waking up everybody in my apartment complex. Get him up. I'm always down. I'm talking about Daddy's on air. Yeah, I mean, Clubhouse has heard, but...

Daddy's on air. Watch out, motherfuckers. Daddy's home. Uh-oh. Ding dong. Daddy's on air. Haven't seen my family in 13 months. Uh-oh.

The origin goes as follows. It was this guy that we used to work with when we worked at a local radio station in Indy when we were younger. And he just, he was like a fill in for everything. Like he hosted like two different stations in town. He would fill in like nationally on national radio. And the whole bid that was behind me and Ben is that like we followed him on social media, obviously. and this dude would always just post like these selfies of him behind the mic

terrible angle selfie of him behind the mic and every caption on the post would be like super proud of my son Jake he's got a smelly be tonight can't make it though daddy's on air like he would say daddy's on air and that's why he can't be there

and me and Benner just like this dude he's never not on air he's never not in the studio missing all the important things in his life but he's just the ultimate radio head And so he's always on air. Christmas? Never heard of it.

Filling in for Momani tonight. Daddy's on air. Ah, slide down the chimney with Daddy. 10 to 4. All day, bro. All day. Whole ass family at home. Christmas all day on ESPN radio.

What are you eating on Christmas? We were just joke about how he publicly chose to make it. Like, he's so sad that he's missing these fans. family like Keystone moments, but secretly he's just so happy to be ripping top five lists on ESPN radio. What's going on? Do you pick up all the wrapping paper this morning, Tom? To every caller.

Just blat, just yapping. And there's like nobody, you know, nobody's really calling it on Christmas. So he's just yapping away. About nothing, dude. About nothing. Daddy's top 10 moments. Looks forward. show he can't wait for the most is Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Eve from 9 to 1 a.m. Ooh, great day, great time. I've never wanted to listen to sports radio more on Thanksgiving Eve, though. Do you call it stuffing or dressing? Good cowboys. 239. Daddy's on air. We got lions, cowboys, stuffing, dressing.

We'll be right back. Anyway. That's our third move. in progress it's just following the times and chronicles of daddy's on air guy this is called station now about this station underneath know about this oh my the trailer in a world where daddy's never not on air oh my god what do I do I should know about that coming Christmas 2028 ha ha daddy's here Nobody in the theater

There's 18 guys in Packers jersey Oh Oh my God One day One day guys Hey sir can you take off your cheesehead I'm trying to I can't see I just want a Packers customized jersey

It was station now On the back for the last name All right. I'll shut up about my wedding reception. Yeah, you get married. Custom lines jersey number one. Daddy's on air. What's up?

It looks like a last name. It's all one word. D-A-D-O-N-A-I-R. Is that French? No, it's just Daddy. Top five sides Top five sides Don't jump off sides

I just need your top two sides God damn All right Let's hear you All right From Jared Subject Wonky Which by the way

That video Best interview ever shows up On my YouTube Like algorithm all time and I watched it the other day and God, it's just still, it's timeless. Truly just timeless, that clip.

It's unbelievable. I mean, it was a thing that, like, we never talk about it. And I, people always ask me and I'm, we never really say, dude,

it was kind of a weird situation where I was just, we were at the station. Station didn't know about this. I don't, I don't even know why I was there, honestly. It was me and you were about to have a brain, brainstorm sesh and this was like impromptu and you came up to me and you're like bro let's just go out and film get some content and i was kind of like for what we never usually do this kind of shit we usually like brainstorm sketches and then film them later in the way whatever we were doing but you're like no let's just go out there and see if people can like you know uh well well well well

we're trying to they wanted us to try to do something around the nt 500 so I was like what could be something could trip people up and that put them on the spot and they'd say some stupid shit. It was like, finish the lyrics. Finish the lyrics, dude. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't even know the song. Yeah. I was like, how's it go, bro?

And you're like, just, you're just trying to like rip it to me as I was like, and you're like, I don't know, let's interview this guy. We kind of got like in that moment of interviewing people for that, for that finish the lyric segment, we got like four other kind of good ones. Yeah. Like it was the best like street. Yeah. Content I've ever done in my life that day for some reason.

Everybody was kind of hitting it in a good mood. And we just saw Homeboy. And I was like, we got to interview this guy. He looks like insane. You had like one sleeve rolled up, one leg, one leg rolled up, had a hat on. You're like, yes. Yeah, it was like, 82 degrees in May. Oh, hot.

It was hot as hell. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. Everybody's like, is that, was that real? People ask me all the time. I'm like, I don't know. How is that not real? Yeah, tough to fake that, dude.

Realest thing I've ever seen. I saw him like a week later when I was just walking around and I was like, I just can't. I don't want to ruin the moment. I even say anything to him. I was like, I got to get out of here. I like to get back on the rabbit game. Back again. That's so weird.

I don't know if I know this home. I want the raw file of that. Dude, I think my favorite part actually is the where he finally says, I'm good. And then he goes, how are you? I couldn't believe the whole time I was just like, Doug, are you serious right now? Are you going to fall over? I had to try so hard not to like shake the camera because I was laughing so hard. You can hear your laugh in the background.

You can. For sure. But what's so great, though, is that like, it's just perfect that it was you interviewing him. Like that would not have happened with me. You know what I mean? Like it just, it was just, it was just synergy. It was just meant to be. But anyways.

I almost didn't post it because I was like, I think he's too messed up or something. Then I was like, actually, he was in a good mood. So I'm going to do it. Ah, that's insane. So Jared says, what's up, guys? I was banging some dubstep music in my Dodge Ram on my 7am ride to work this morning, L-O-L. When I noticed Ben's interview downtown

with the Wonky Kid was mixed into this new song. The song is called Wonky by Odd Kid Out and A-H-E-E. A-H-H-E. I don't know. Check it out. Let us know if you think. Hi-Hu. Have you guys heard about the kid from the interview?

Search Kyle Brown, Indianapolis. Leap Out of Necessary, Wild Story. Congrats on all the success over the years. Fellow South Sider then has been following along for quite some time. Hell, yeah. Thanks, Jared. Yeah, I think we have kind of touched on that story. I think we definitely know what you're talking about.

Yeah. Absolutely. I'm the first to know all glunky news. Trust me. 700 people. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true, that's true. Still a God in my eyes.

Have you heard this song? No, I haven't heard that. Did he link it? You didn't link it. Let's see. Where am I going back to, Jared? I think there are a couple. Wonky by Odd Kid Out.

Wonky. I've been to a couple. It's big in the music festival scene, rave scene. The wonky? Wonky guy is. Because they'll be like people have totems, you know? I've seen him on a couple totems. And I've been to a couple, like a totem is like,

there's a million people at a music festival or rave or just think big concert and you have like a big like flag or something so your homies are oh let's go check out let's go over there by the glonky yeah we'll do that they'll uh some people have actually come up to me at raves and music festivals and been like dude are you the guy that did the galankee thing and i was like that's crazy that's crazy that's crazy how many raves and music festivals you going to i've been in a couple dude i've been there a couple the hell all right let's say this is all about here ad for sure it's never been this quiet in my life

who's that much? That's you dude this beat this beat drops up to be nasty no no go to it before that part I'm still to the walk in wow Hard, hard,

Copyright Cats Um, Copyright Cats, but it's our shit. Right. Yeah, imagine us getting fine for that. It's like,

it's our whole thing. Never mind. Oh, man. That is, yeah, that was like seven years ago at this point. What a day.

Let's go to Lou. Varsity men's singles bathroom break. How these guys coded is this. Asked for the bathroom key at the grocery store and they pulled this puppy out. Station most certainly did not know about this. Slat my ass with this thing like it's 2120 game point.

I just lobbed you a game winning smash. Send from my PDA device. I love this guy. Who is this guy, bro? Have you seen this interview? It's just a badminton racket with a key tied to it. These guys coded. I love that you think of us when you get the bathroom key.

That's all I want to be known for. I guess, yeah, they're just like, yeah, don't take this anywhere. You're going to look like a jack off with your badminton racket walking around. Don't steal this key. That's going to make me steal it. What they don't know. What they don't know is I love badminton. But they don't know is I got a game going on in my backyard right now.

Dude, the way I used to... God, when you connect. with a badminton on a smash like that damn my sister was nasty with it dude could not compete because she played tennis in high school i'd play her in badminton once she once she figured it all out i was like i stand no chance dude the amount of times i threw a badminton racket like three yards down sure oh my like it was a frisbee a bad like a fucking boomerang bro i would smack i would smash against the fence, I'd be so mad. Nothing more.

I've never been more passionate about anything in my life than bad. It makes sense. That's perfect. This is from Jack. Nicknames and kid dating older girl. Can't wait. Says, what up? I've been listening for years now.

Thanks. Have we been doing? I went to Catholic school and played football in high school. I'm a little young for some of the player references. Graduated high school in 2018. Wow. But still love hearing all the stories because it's the exact same. I almost cried in the office when you guys were talking about the kid dating an older girl because one of my best friends was and every time you'd ask how he pulled her.

Quote, I'm fucking sick. That's how is the only response you'd ever get. Damn, dude. Who was that? Did not what a message. I'm already intimidated by this, dude. Yeah, she cheated. You guys are talking about reading or bringing up the Eucharist at church to impress a girl made me die.

I would read the morning announcements all because they asked me once and did fine. Then the following year, they made me every day. This blew up in my face, though, because despite being the kid on the football team and the honors classes and having good grades, I'm wildly dyslexic. Yeah, I was that one friend that could never hang out because I was studying. Nah, I can't hang out on any need to study. It would mess up the little passage today and make me read just about every morning. Did you guys ever do something stupid to impress girls and then have a blow up in your face?

You guys are awesome. Next time in New York, live here now, or in Detroit, where I grew. up let me now jack god man oh yeah jack what a dude those honors classes paid off bro nice email um dude yeah i mean i've done everything in my life that i do i do it for girls and mess it up absolutely everything from i want to say second grade until i met my wife that was like all it was always doing something and always getting hurt doing it. But hey, if it made her laugh, they're like, suck, yeah, dude.

Paid off. Paid off. Tore my meniscus one time for a girl. What were you doing? Intermural basketball, like going absolutely too. Okay, at first it was like, all right, yeah, I'll be on the team because it was a good team. I was like, we might actually win, and I can't believe you guys want me on the team. because like in college there's like oh we're playing the golf team on because the golf team's kind of good at basketball for some reason because like seven of the guys on the golf team played like their senior high school and they were good you know they got like five spot up shooters that can just knock it down you're like do the golf team one last year damn we got then there's like another team it's like these guys there's another football team like it's like a very competitive thing and I'm like oh let's like let's do it and it started it started off as like

fun and then girls from the college started going to our games and this one girl showed up at her game one time and she she played college basketball and i was like dude i got to show this girl that i can kind of hoop right yeah so i'm trying dude though i'm my whole i was like i got to dunk i got a dunk like i got to get on a fast break and i got a dunk like i'm like i like locked loaded You were leaking out so hard. You were just cherry picking, leak out so hard to try to get that fast break. There was a loose ball,

and I was trying to do the tap it to myself thing so I could be all alone and just have like, you know, the confidence to just, just talk it, not in traffic. And then, but my friend knew the situation, what was going on. He knew the girl was watching.

So he was like, I'm not letting you dumb talk. And we both. Wow. Yeah, because he was like, nah, fuck you, bro. Like on some, on some like friendship you know what i mean he wasn't really being like that but we both collide

after this loose ball i tear my meniscus he like gets a high ankles brain and we're just i don't know we're just the whole next day we're like what do we what do we tell our like actual football coaches yeah you're out for spring ball because you're trying to impress hannah exactly probably was her name it was christin it was christin it was christin Dude, out the whole spring, just me and him, just because we were trying to impress a girl. Yeah, I wouldn't even be that. It would be like, I don't know, like standing up on one of those bitch-ass school chairs and then trying to like, you know, when somebody like in a movie or TV show, they would jump up on a chair and then like lean forward on the back of it to then like go to the ground and have it be smooth. you know what I mean like you jump up and you you ride it down to the ground and then you just

roll right into it like like one foot like one leg on the top of it yeah how do they do that damn like I would I would that's like something that I would do we'd all be screwing around and I'd see you know what I mean and just totally the legs right yeah concussion on the tile floor separated shoulder for sure so like what are you doing that all to like seem like I was Leonardo DiCaprio or something, I don't even know. That chair move is crazy if you can pull that off. Right? It's a big thing like that would be smooth.

If I had a homie that did that in school, I would bow down. That's crazy. But you can't, I'm thinking, in my head, I've got those plastic school chairs in my head right now. That's what it is. That's what it was. Nothing slipping and sliding like those chairs, dude. Right. Those little like plastic boxes.

bottoms and you lean. Especially the tennis balls on the bottom. I never had a homeroom class like that, not a reminiscent podcast. But I always would make fun of them so hard. If I walked by a class and the chairs had tennis balls, I'd be like, posseys. I hated it.

I thought that was so whack. Like, what teacher thought of this breakthrough idea of putting tennis balls on the school chairs? So it doesn't mark up the floor. Tennis balls were like Tennis balls were a luxury When you were a kid You play a wall ball with that shit

You can play some crazy baseball Where you could like bomb it Yeah You can play like Fucking tag with it Where the you know If you get hit by it You get pegged by it

Then you're it You know like There's a ton of stuff You can do with a tennis ball Tennis balls kind of don't hurt that bad either Like if you threw a ball up And hit a tennis ball with a bat And it hit me like point blank

I'd be like I kind of feel like good. Right. You know, like it stings a little, but it stings in a good way. Tennis balls are like underutilized. Give a group of four 13 year old dudes a tennis ball. That's all I need. You won't hear from four days. Four days silence. A tennis ball and a brick wall. Is it it? Hey, the smell of a fresh can of tennis balls. Pretty nice. I think when we did top five smells on Sprass back in the day. I'm pretty sure you had that. It's amazing.

All right. Let's go to Will. Will says John Stockton's shorts. So, fellas, long-time listener, second-time emailer. Love the Shah. Yeah, this name seemed new, so I wanted to read it. I was listening to last week's episode while doing chores around the house to make the task more enjoyable. It definitely worked. You guys had me laughing so hard I couldn't talk with my wife asked what was going on.

I recomposed myself and simply said, not a sports podcast. Thank you. Anyway, listening to the pod while doing chores got me thinking, what chores did you used to think were ridiculous when you were younger, but actually appreciate knowing how to do now as adults? Smack my ass with Brian Bosworth's headband from his Oklahoma days while your day cracks open a garage, your dad cracks open a garage beer on Saturday morning after waking up at 5.30 to do mow,

you got this all fucked up, bro. Smack my ass with Brian Bosworth's headband from his Oklahoma days while your dad cracks open a garage beer on Saturday morning after waking up at 5.30 to mow the lawn. out of baby there was some there was some miss spells in there that got me also I had to go back and read it through

chores as a kid that are better now my dad always used to I always got nervous for this one he'd be like yo dust off the uh like the he's dust off the VCR how come how come at my house I just had like 13 VCR stacked on top of each other did that happen to you too

VCR player Another VCR player A stereo thing A thing for the surround sound A DVD player In 16 remotes on top of all of them And I got to dust that I'm like dog

If I like press a button I'm eight Right Just going in between Dusting off the remotes That one It was a very like 1999 to 2002 thing

All that shit And a giant Entertainment Center that you'd have in your living room. Insane. You got to all the crevices of a VHS player. I'm wiping off. And then you go, you look at,

remember the first time you looked inside of a VHS player? You'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is, what's happening in here? And then I always thought like I broke something because the pledge dust and stuff. My mom would be like, spray it on the, on the rag and then like it on it. Man, the way I just wanted to tag our living room wall with pledge. pledge. Just a Titans logo for some reason.

It's like, don't give me that can of pledge, bro. That was a fun one. It wasn't fun, but I was nervous. I was the desk guy. Chores when I was younger. My mom always, while you're thinking, I'll keep ripping them off because this is the only thing I remember. This is where this is, this is my only.

memory from childhood was just, dude, cleaning that area behind the toilet in the bathroom. I'm like, why is there so much hair? And it's always like that weird part of the toilet where there's like the weird nub thing.

And I'm like, what? It's always so cold down there. I'm like, no one's ever been down here. Rest. There's a lot. You know what you're going to find back there. There's so much back there. So much hair.

I wouldn't say shit that I appreciate that I didn't back then. I'd say, I'd say now I appreciate it just because now I'm at the point of my life where it affects me. So it's like dishes, pisses me off having the, when I was a kid and a teenager, it didn't affect me to have the sink full of dishes. Now it drives me absolutely insane. Now I got to get that fixed and have an empty sink.

It just looks bad. Like the dishes don't bother me, but it just looks like shit. But that's what I'm saying is like when I was, I mean, my whole life, dude, really, like it didn't, it didn't even phase me. Didn't even think about it. You know, I made no sense when my mom would like freak out about stuff like that. And then all of a sudden it just flips when you become an adult and you have your own space, I guess. I don't know.

Yeah. But where it literally like it starts to hurt my head when I look at it like drives me nuts like a sneeze that I can't get out. That's one. I'd say really just like just messes in general, man. Like you remember back in the day, I think about this often now. Back in the day when your mom would be like, we got to get this place cleaned up. You're like, no, what's coming over? What's it even matter?

We don't ever have people over. What does it matter? The house is clean or not. I was a king of that. I always was a little shit had doing that. And now it makes sense. Now I'm just like, dude, when you're an adult and you got all sorts of clutter and just crap everywhere, it drives me nuts, man. It affects your mood.

You got to have it tidy. You got to have it fixed up. But I couldn't figure out what was going on with me for like a lot. week straight. I was like, God, I just can't like organize the thoughts in my head. And I cleaned my room. Everything was fine. I was like, it was just my room this whole time. Or like something was pissing me off my closet. It was just a mess. I need to like do a lot. And just something was and right when I organized everything, I was like, oh, damn, that was it. You're right. It does affect me. I had that, I had that bid that I was working out a couple two years ago where it's just

like about how there literally is like a flip that switches. when you become a dad, like, I can't explain it other than that. Because it used to not affect me. It used to not bother me. And then all of a sudden, you know, the first kid pops out. And then now I can't go to bed. Rinse the dishes! Now I got to, now I got to every morning.

I make my bed literally every morning. Then I got to, you know, before I go to bed, I got to make sure everything in the living room and in the dining room and the playroom is tidied up because if I come downstairs the next morning, there's shit everywhere. I'm going to start my day and a shitty move. Right. The second you have a kid. Yeah, we need to re-landscape the backyard.

Just immediately, dude. Can we get some vacuum lines in the living room? Let's go. Let's go up. The amount of times that I drive past a gas station now, and I out loud, make a comment, and like, dang, it's 279. There's 292 back up downtown.

That's dad mode, because I am not in that. I've never looked at a gas price. I'm like, what am I going to do? Not hit it? I look at them all. I compare and contrast them all. If I have like 45 miles left in my tank and I see one that's like 309, I'm like, I can go like 15 more miles and see if we get down to at least 289. That's final boss, dad move right there.

I'll just never even look. Dude, I could buy gas for $16 a gallon and be like, I didn't know. dude i i'm i'm trying to save 16 cents a gallon like i'm i'm finding the spots yep he's got the dad jean uh there is always one station gas station that's usually cheaper for some reason and i don't know how they're getting away with it i'm like how are you guys like reduced price right what's going on is this worse is this is this low grade fuel i'm like You're going to run out quicker. Is this half water?

Sure. How are you guys on sale? How are you like bargain gas? It doesn't make any sense to me. It is always like an off-brand gas station. You're like crystal flash? Right. If you go in there though, maybe if you're trying to get a snack or like a polar pop,

maybe instead of like 69 cents for a polar pop, they're like a dollar or not. Maybe they make up their dividends in different ways. Maybe. I don't know. I saw this. I saw this. Never mind. Go ahead and go.

Let's go to Austin. The game you made up. How we doing, boys? C-mail stems from one of the recent espresso questions of the week, but I wanted to share it here since this is more of a not-a-sports podcast. The game I made up with my little brother was called Barry Sanders game. Oh. And couch cushions up as high as we could on my bed to simulate the offensive and decent

offensive line on the goal line situation. The ball carrier had to sprint down the hallway, run into the room, and try to leap with the ball over the pile, and reach the other side of the bed to break the plane. The other person was the defender on the other side of the pile. They would try to meet you mid-air and stop you from getting the ball over the goal line. We broke around three ceiling fans and put 14 holes in the drywall, greatest game ever. I also want to play it now. Keep up the great work and laughs, fellas.

Benny, I want to play steel heel with you on stage the next time I come to a show. Hell yeah. Slap my ass while we play twice around the house at 10.52 p.m. That's from front row Austin at these guys' lives. Love you, bro. Straight up. Barry Sanders game. Let's play Barry Sanders. That's so cool. Sick name. I love the names even more than the game sometimes. Did you have one? I guess you kind of didn't. Well, yeah, did you have a game?

like with your sisters or anything or like your boys like when you're like super young i just remember me and my neighborhood friend went to school with them too we would just if it snowed it was just one-on-one like football and like the tightest area of the the side yard it was i don't know if we called it anything but it was like war bro like when the i saw snowflake i'm going to jessies going to jessies why we got to play for you guys we got to play for football in the snow. It was bloody noses. It was crazy.

It was so much fun. There was a game. One of my best friends growing up had a pool. And so summertime, it was, you know, you're over there all the time. It was pretty simple. I don't even know what it was called. But, like, he had, he had, like, those, you ever see those, like pool baseball gloves? that can get wet and shit.

Never. Never seen one of them in action, but I do know what you're talking about. Yeah, so he had a few of those, and we have a tennis ball. Did they stick? No, you're thinking of a different thing. Okay, okay.

Thinking of that just like pad thing that would stick to it. This was like an actual, like floppy. Yeah. It looked like a water. It looked like a pool baseball glove, right? Mm-hmm. And we'd be opposite end of the pool. and it was i basically was just like three strikes it was like the first one to skip it in the water

or not hit like the chest level three times you lose you know oh just you got there like we are baseball players right so it would be just yeah you're you keep going you were eating that thing right outside um dude one of my me me and one of my homies also played like a very competitive. This sounds stupid, but I think I was in eighth grade. So like you're a little bit athletic in eighth grade. He had an older brother. Bro, we would play pickle, like just pickle for like three hours.

Like it was like the main- See how long you could stay in the middle? Yeah, I'm going to Craigs. All right, what's like the thing, you know, you go to your homie's house to spend the night or whatever? What's like the event? You go to a football game? You're going to see a movie?

maybe meet up with a girl at the mall. We're playing pickle, bro. Like, that was our thing. And it was like, we're starting at 7 p.m. And we're going until we can't see anymore. And it almost got me to play baseball. I was like, this is so much fun. Like, once I understood the concept of, like,

just don't get tagged and, like, fake people out, I was like, all, I can do this. Bro, we play pickle forever. It was so much fun. See, you would have been a great, like, pinch runner. Just throw polici out there on the base paths. Let him Benny the Jet Rodriguez it. I would have taken some chances, man.

What I'm doing? That was fun, bro. Just the most old school game of all time. I know that's not like a made-up game, but... Yeah, this wasn't a made-up game either, but obviously when I was a kid, I had like plastic lightsabers and shit. So we would straight up play like lightsaber duels, bro. You get out. You have to act it out if you got your list.

somebody got your leg, you'd have to go on one leg, you know. Some real Star Wars shit. Never had a lightsaber. Why did I never have a lightsaber ever? Kind of sad. Because you have like 14 right now. So dork. Yeah.

Literally. My son comes and waxes a shit out of me and his little sister now. Good for him. But also painingly ass. Good for him. All right. These guys clubhouse at gmail.com. Still got a few left in.

there, but we'll get to him next week. Keep sending them. We appreciate them. We love hearing it from you guys. You're all part of the show. I hope you know that. I've heard from people, you know, my friends who listen, they're like, love that you do that, man.

That really makes it, like, interactive and engaging for the fans and love hearing what different people come up with every week, and it kind of gets you guys going to. So keep sitting in them, team these guys at gmail.com. Subscribe these guys Clubhouse on YouTube. Great review. Yeah, I saw a review that we had. Oh, John Allrood. It was five stars and just John Allrood.

It was perfect. That's it. We're in a helmet playing first base. It's great. Who do you play for? Who is the Mariners? Who is he? Yeah, rate review.

Tell the homies, leave a comment. Do your thing. Grab some merge. Get your tickies. Plano Wednesday. See you there. And yeah.

All right. Cool. Love you guys. Talk to you next week. Nate Cheerholz. The Bobby Agree, you. Oh. Homer on Derby, 2006.

St. Station, how about that?