THESE GUYS! - don't call fooball on

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

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Once that toothpaste comes out of the tube, there's no going back in. Now that guy, your cousin's boyfriend, Dylan, is forever going to be known as crazy football guy who has severe problems. No! They're canoeing and shit. Not bad for a fat guy. We are the church. Happy to be. Oh, this is on.

My bad. What's up? Are you actually going to church out there? because this is like three out of four weeks that you started with some sort of a church song. No, it's just in my head every morning, bro. Haven't been to church since 2019.

What was that occasion? I don't even know. I don't know. I don't even know if it was 2019. It just sounded good. No, I had to do this project when I was at Marion and we had to go to, for like a religion class, we had to go to a different church.

Like not. So I had to go to like, a Baptist church. scariest thing I've ever done in my life. Yeah, so we're definitely, you were in college 22 years ago, so.

That's way different. They still had typewriters, dog. 2019? Yeah, so you were 30 then.

Our only social media in college was AIM, so. Yeah. Yeah. TG 150. Wow. Geez, 150.

How many beers I had last Sunday? Jesus. Oh, God. I hope everybody's football weekend was good. You talking about 150 beers. I got some fat stats coming. We're going to have to get into. Let's go.

The notes. First full weekend of an entire weekend of football, fat stats. So get into that. TG 150. You know the deal. Subscribe, rate, review, wherever we get your buds. Subscribe on YouTube. These guys, L-O-L.

Come check us out. I'm wearing. Merch. Merch. Merch. Get your merch. Another origin story, bro. Merch.

Dude, me and Joey have always hated the word merch. Because it's so lame. You got to push merch. This guy we knew, wouldn't say merch. He'd be like, merch. I think we could work with that. That could make a really cool shirt, some really nice merch. Grab some merch.

Finally, we can make fun of ourselves pushing merch. Mitch. Oh, yeah, but that is available. Do you want to get the hunting hats, the clubhouse hoodies, these guys hats are hoodies, the station you know about this, Kroonax or hoodies and hats? All of it. Grab your hunting hats.

the pumpkin patch. One of the homies sent me a picture. Clubhouse. True pristine clubhouse guy right here. He goes station out about throwing a little PTI on when my wife's in labor. She's in the hospital.

What were the debates going on, man? I got to know what the rundown was. I know. God, that's all I want to see. Down that right side. It's always Sammy Sosa. Sosa. Sosa.

Sosa McGuire. The fastest five minutes or whatever was always Sosa McGuire. There's always, Sosa's always on there. 55 episodes of PTI in a row. Not a ESPN podcast. Not a ESPN podcast.

The way that I wanted my face to eventually be on one of those stick figure heads in the background of Kornheiser and Wilbon's shot. Yeah. What's your end game when you're in?

college. You're talking to your counselor. What do you want to end up doing at the end of your life? What do you want to be known for? Your life. You want to change the world? I just want my head on one of those sticks in the back of PTI. Making some face like,

got like Sandler face back there behind Cornizer. Getting the most intense debate about a topic like Kauai Leonard taking this money underground, like super, super important, serious stuff, just your face. A stick. Hey, one day we're going to be the PTI guys, man. One day. Yeah, it's fine. Or we'll just call high school football games and host a one-hour sports show.

But either way. Please, please, please. Hey, also, be on the lookout. Be on the lookout. We got to, I think we have some exciting news. Some exciting news announcement coming. soon. Don't think it's ready now,

but maybe the next couple weeks, next week, perhaps, we could throw it out there and talk about it and get you ready for it. So just keep that in mind. I don't like their show because they're like announcements in the beginning go for too long.

All right, what do you think about this here? For the YouTube viewers. Taz on it? I don't like it. These guys, L-O-L. I got the vintage It's vintage crew season, baby It's vintage crew time

Just call me vintage cruise I'm doing the salsa in the end zone I'm vintage crews All right Tom Cruise Tom Cruise Tom Cruise over here Look at this I got a little

I got the chief I can't It's like a weird angle I got the chief I got Chuck Knoll I got Franco Harris I got Terry Bradshaw And the

Pro Football Hall of Fame because they're all Hall of Famers, but really interesting, like they throw the building on this thing. These guys L.O.L. on YouTube, shag it at. Yeah. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a grail piece right there.

Was over at my parents' house last night or yesterday for football Sunday, and they're in Italy. And my dad keeps all of our terrible towels in their closet. And because we got like 22 of them. You have a guest over.

Hey, do you have any towels for the shower? Yeah, just go to our towel closet. Just 225 mini yellow towels. This isn't what I meant, but you have anything that I can wash my face with? Like I kind of do a skincare routine at night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got something for you. Wow, Steelers skincare routine. There you go. Hey. Hey, what's up? Black, with a terrible towel, like towelette, like a wet wipe. Neck roll on?

Dude. For the burpy girls out there who are rocking the makeup, you know, on game day, my wife, she's always doing that. She's always, burpy boy, she's always, you know, before she's laying down at night, just scrubbing the face with the makeup wipes. Can you go give me some makeup wipes? Can you give me some makeup wipes?

How's that for the burpee girls out there? Get you some terrible towel makeup. up wipes. Now we're talking. The fact that I haven't washed my face in 19 years. Dude, do you guys have to do it? I'm like, hey, I take a shower every day. And I don't put the water on my face in a shower either.

Oh, really? I mean, for a second, but I'm not like concentrating. I don't have face wash anymore. I don't know what happened. Somebody told me like it wasn't healthy to wash your face all the time. And I was like, okay, I just won't then. I think you pretty much You pretty much find a study for anything to any way that you want to go

But I feel like you're a big Like you do this to me with chapstick You were back in the early espresso days You know, it'd be wintertime whatever would be working on a video late It'd just be dry or just kind of crack you Like man I need some chapstick Yeah like the thing about chapstick is the more you put it on The more you have to use it

And I was like, what? Yeah. Yeah, that's why do you think people, why do you think they're still in business? It's because they keep putting it on and then you just keep going back and using it. It doesn't help your lips. It just, it eventually hurts some more. You're like, drink more water. Did you get off chapsick?

Are you still? Haven't been on since 2017. You're a dog, dude. I swear, it's all a scam. Face wash. I'm like, come on, man. I don't need any of this crap. You go off of it and then your face gets better.

They want you to keep buying their product. I don't know if I can do it. with deodorant though still kind of yeah that's fair there's there's there's certain lines give me all that old spice babe all right let's get some stats oh sorry oh oh oh yeah we get some oh dude i feel like i kind of feel bad like my brother-in-law literally texted me last night and he said fat stats are going to be insane this week that's a great text to get i said you know you're headed in the right direction. And I said, man, I, yeah, I have that in my notes already.

So we've taken a break, clubhouse. We take a little bit of a break from the fat stats because it's been summer. You're eating lighter. You're grilling out. You're doing, you know, you're doing all the good stuff. But now with college football and the NFL, full swing, you know, the fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat stats are back. Fat, fat, fat, fat fat stats. Went pretty light on Friday night.

had a home cooked meal. Saturday gets to be noon right around kickoff after game day. Me and the wife we go with Chatham Tap, local pub here in Indy. Chatam Tap. We get 20 wings to split. Half of their

angel wing sauce that they have. You know, every place has like their own wing sauce. Yeah, but what's it taste like? Is it hot? No, it's like a... I've never heard of... Angel. It's like their variation of honey barbecue from B-dubs.

That's my go-to sauce right there. Yep. Half of those, 10 of those, 10 mild buffalo, mild buffalo wings. Good start. Pay the extra two bucks to get all flats. It seems a little healthier to eat flats for some reason. They seem more real. I think just the look of it too, you're like, this is thin

that keep me a little bit thinner you get the drum you're like like job of the hut gotta do that thing where your tongue goes between the two bones and the flat

you know you're trying to get it so weird I'm like nobody saw me do that right I just played the harmonica with this wing it's better than

it's better than getting the drums though because the drums yeah your job of the hut all of a sudden that's weird giant things.

Still put down 40 of them, but it's so weird. Aside with that, we go with garlic cheese chips. So they're like the bread of, the hand battered fries, beer battered fries or whatever. They kind of got that style at Shadam Tap. And then they put some cheese on it. Banana peppers. Melted cheese, banana peppers. It's a party.

Party. All right. Okay. And that's just like, that's just, like, little starters, appetizers? Yeah. You still going? Let's just lunch. That's just lunch.

We're warming up. You know, we got Iowa, Iowa State on the TV. You're probably doing split screen with all four of them. But we got it. We got it going, right? So then later on the evening, it's beautiful, late summer, early fall evening. It's getting real cool out, dark earlier than you're like, what is this? Why is it?

Why is it 752 and it's dark? Oh, yeah. I forgot because we're creeping into late September October. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Got that kind of feel in the air. Like, hey, like windows, windows a little bit open, candles on. Oh, God.

This much window open? Never felt better in my life. Hey, this much. Whoa, is it July? This much. Hey, let's keep a chill. Like, it's like nice and, oh, that temperature dog with the candles. Oh, yeah.

So get both the kids down. Okay. our daughter goes to sleep she's she's perfect she literally I've talked about it before I think but you put her in the bed she just out immediately no fuss no nothing wants to go to sleep

her son a little bit more some work you know we're in that process of really trying to make him fully sleep in his own bed we got a nice old cubby with his own bed for him set up like we're really trying to you know he's three now

come on let's let's pick up the program but it's tough And so somehow he was so tired And because he'd been running around all day on a Saturday We get him down, he's staying down Me and Rye downstairs. We got the Purdue game on Oklahoma, Michigan On Split Screen 2. We're like, hey, 752, kids are down Feeling good as parents. You're a little hungry?

You overeat? What'd you do? Let's get it going. So, Rye goes with the sushi. She's a big sushi girl. loves to get some sushi Mm-hmm What do you think I go with Not sushi We separate order

Saturday night Let's see you had wings already Mm-hmm Um Was it fat Did you go fast food Or did you go a little upskirts Yeah

It's like it's upscale I call good food fast Damn man Um But still like Grub Italian? No.

Is it tacos? Uh-uh. What was it? What a little Culver's double butterburger? Fry. Should have no, dude. Snickers, concrete mixer is the kicker. You and Colvers.

Good God. This guy. Smack his ass, send him right now. You having a bad day? Right to Colvers. Hey, what number were, what was your waiting number? Barrett Culver. Did they give you one?

No, because it was delivered. Oh, man. Concrete mixer, you said? What was going in there? What was the station? What was the stationer know about those toppings? Station out by the Snickers concrete mixture? The Snickers mixture?

Stationing out about this. This mixer? Stationed out about this mixer. I was, like, I was enjoying the hell out of it when it was there. Oh, God, was it good. But about 0.8 seconds. after I had my last bite, did feel like the fattest person ever on the planet.

It's all right. But that's fat stats, right? So then we'll wrap this up. We'll wrap this up quick. Sunday, going down first football Sunday, Steelers Jets, one o'clock, right? Clean slate. Here we go.

Get down to my parents, my sister and her husband and her kid. They're down there as well. We're down. We, Rye makes Buffalo Chicken Day. chili bean dip. My sister does mozzarella sticks, tater tots,

chips and salsa. Fun. And then... Fun food. Yep. And then we had ribs at half time in the Steelers game.

Ribs homemade? Oh. On the grill? Who's cooking up the ribs? Just throw them in the oven let them sit in there for like an hour and a half. I don't think I've ever had

home-cooked ribs. They've always been from a restaurant. That's... That's game day right there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Love when you peel off a rib and it comes like with the extra one at the end too. So you get like two.

Yeah. Meat falling off the bone. It was nice. And oh, and then Clubhouse will appreciate our little dessert kicker for Sunday after the Steelers won. Halloween pumpkin Oreos with the orange filling. Mm-hmm. The OG different color Oreos right there. Remember they first came out with those?

Halloween Oreos before they were getting all freaky with Oreos They have more like Oreo flavors and Pop-Tarts almost now It's just like what? The whole aisle in the store is almost Oreos Back back when I don't know Maybe it was like 2000 or something

The only freaky one they did was the orange cream for Halloween And that was like when somebody had brought those into school For like lunch I was like yo those? and then for spring I think they did light blue wild yeah it was one of the pastel Easter egg colors yeah it was like a blue or light yellow

pink one of those it was one of those but it was just uh it was the Reese's Oreo or just the orange cream in the regular Oreo just orange just the orange filling just orange cream that's the way to go

with like on one side of the cookie a pumpkin imprint yeah that's it right there dog Do you go milk? The packaging. It's like boo on it with the, it's orange. Oh, so great. Yeah.

Hey, like you said. Every time. Every time. Were you, were you dipping? No, dude. I was so like, I wasn't eating them because I was hungry or wanted to even. I was just like, this is just something I need. to do. Like they're here.

The Steelers won. And you just have to. Just so many of them, dude. Just probably 12 and didn't even know. No. But like it was such fat stats that we didn't even have dinner last night. Like we were just, we were tapped out.

Overcap. Can't do it. But you woke up, you woke up so hungry though. But now, me and Rye already agreed and you'll, you'll appreciate it. I think like,

during the week because of now what we know from week one and what the film is telling us from week one, football weekends, we got to be clean all week. Like we got to set the tone,

set the standard all week. So then we can, so that we could get out there and just fly around and have some fun on the weekends. Can we fly around make plays this Saturday? Like,

I'm talking mozzarella steak plays. I'm talking fried pickle plays. Big players make big plays. I'm talking potato skins. Right here, right now. I'm talking fully loaded nachos.

Chili ones. Tater tots with cheese and bacon on them. Dipped and ranch. Maybe some jalapenos too. Do you know about that? What do you know about breadsticks out of nowhere? Overcome adversity. Hey, but you know what? Fat guy half time speech. You can't celebrate all that. You can't fly around on the weekends if on

Tuesday, Wednesday, you're not locking in with some salmon and some broccoli. Say discipline, men, grilled chicken, Caesar salads all week. Pay off this weekend. Business trip. Some smoothie in the morning, maybe, like, or late morning, early afternoon to get you through. To some lean meat and some veggies. You got to be hammering eggs. We've got to be hammering eggs.

Protein shake. Water, water, water, no chap lips. So on the weekend, we got wet lips. lips on the weekend. You know what? It's all leading up to be able to enjoy the foods of our labor. Let's go bring it up. So there's fat stats week one.

I did want to get into, maybe this could be a Moladard minute, but it's not even like... Oh, I'll set the timer, baby. Go ahead and go. I just got to say, obviously, this time of the year is my favorite time of here, the best time of the year. And it can be for many reasons. But I think I realized it last night is that I think it's the best time of the air because once you get to this age 32,

you just know you don't have to make a single plan or even think about a single plan for like five months. I mean, from Thursday night until Sunday night, Monday night. Locked in. You're good. You don't want to be doing anything else. You are the happiest motherfucker in the world. He's got to just be sitting there on a Saturday all day knowing,

oh, then tomorrow as well, and I don't even have to leave my house or get out of the comfort of my own zone. We're running it back. I don't need plans. Don't hit me up. Don't want your plans. Not trying to go anywhere.

Don't need it. to because football's here. I don't think it was, that was clean. I don't think anybody else is doing anything either. If you get a plan, yeah, and if somebody hits you with plans, it's to go to a game.

And I'm like, I don't even want to do that. Or I'm just like, hey dog, I got a case of 18. Come on over. You don't have to leave. No pressure for you to leave any time. You can stay as long as you want. But just know,

that I will be sitting here in this comfy corner of my couch watching football until I pass out. Football Sunday in the corner. Making plays dipping, chipping, lipping. That's right. When I tell you that it got to be Saturday at 415, 430, great time. And you're right in the middle of,

let's see, what was that slate? Right. That slate was, Michigan's about to come on. I think Kansas and Missouri was playing ended up being a pretty crazy game. But I just were sitting there and I was like, I can't even

really fully explain my level of contentness of where I am right now. You know how in the summer, the summer, the spring, or even when you're younger, whatever, you're like, man, Saturday night, like, should I hit people up?

Should I see if anybody wants to go out to a bar? Is anybody going to hit me up? Is there a party going on? I was just in such a state of bliss, realizing that this is my life now until February. It's a good moment. You're just like, this is it. No worries.

It also allows like, you know, selfishly for me and you, I think a little bit during that, like I was, you know, punching up or helping punch up the script for white guys on week one. Where do you get your best ideas? You getting ideas? I'm like, could I go to the backyard and shoot a, a quick sketch real quick come back in still got games

dude it was just you never want that moment to end clubhouse that's all I'm saying is I hope that you're and I know you are but you're in it together with me and with us of just man put the

put the moccasins on with your favorite team's logo on the top of your foot kick your feet up and just get the quad box going on a Saturday and just say this is as good as it's going to get I want to slip in some Iowa

with state moccasins so bad just because. Dude, I'm still... The tornado, the tornado on the top? With the sight. The bird? God! Bring it back! So sick. I wonder what his name was. What was the cyclone's name?

I don't want to look it up. I will look it up. Michigan State game, though. So overcast. Yeah, that was a funny text. That was the most Michigan State game of all time. And they won in the last second. Every Michigan State game goes overtime.

I'm like, Jesus Christ. Hey, also playing Boston College, too. I was like, of course. I felt like I had to watch that game for some reason. Like, I just, it just had to be done. I was like, I need to watch every minute of this game. Of course, BC's bringing, like, the gray drab in, you know? Such a boring team, but you just got to respect them.

Iowa State, mascot, Cy the Cardinal. Cy? Yeah, I was in Cy Young. Miss sigh, man Really miss sigh Not bad Was kind of expecting I don't know

Something a little bit crazy A lot more Yeah Let's get to the clubhouse I had something else I took a few Oh real quick Do you catch any

That Sunday night football Bills Ravens I saw the highlights The only highlights I can watch now Are like those Have you seen the highlights On TikTok

They just have a bunch of like sound effects behind them. Like the stupid sound effects? Yes. Like the guy slipping and shit. Oh my God. I can watch it. If I could watch a full game like that.

City boy! Just all those like internet sounds underneath my cause. So yeah but I guess I watch it kind of. Not live. Man, I do got to say is the Raven's best get up the black pants white jersey?

It's always been so solid. They look slays. and something about the Ravens white and when they wear the turtlenecks like Lamar Jackson had it on but as much as I hate to say and I know give me shit Ben

because you're like I know you're a steward's fan blah blah blah but I will it is it's tough to say but man when they have the black socks that go right into the black pants so basically wearing like leggings it looks like so slick the bee on the hip

The white jersey. That's the thing people don't understand. The B on the hip. It's right there. It's not in the front. It's usually like, I don't know how to explain it, but everybody has their logo like on their hip flexor. Raven's got it right on the hip, dude.

It just takes place. There should be stripes there. Nah. It's nice without it. The purple numbers pop. And then the piping, the sleeve with the on the sleeve and on the neck, I think, They have just the black, just one wrap around of black on the sleeves. It's a little bit thicker than piping.

Yeah. Especially on the collar. They have it just on the cuff. Maybe you're right. On the cuff. Yeah. You know these terms better than me. But I was just watching it last night because, you know, what a, of course, I fell asleep

before even all the crazy shit happened. But what a matchup week one. And all I could think about was, man, I don't. the lights, the black pants, white jersey for Baltimore is tough. It's really tough. When helmets match pants, bro,

can't miss. Black helmets, black pants. On any team, when helmets match pants, it's like, yeah. That's it. All right. Let's get to the clubhouse, like you said.

Let's go to Christopher. Colorado Rockies baseball player. These guys have been meeting to write in for a minute. But your mailbag content keeps getting better and better, so I haven't really felt worthy enough. Shout out to the clubhouse for continually elevating their game. Yeah, for sure. Always worthy, bro.

Send them in. But since you're making the transition back to football, I wanted to chime in on something Ben brought up a few months ago when you were in the midst of your baseball run. He had been trying to remember the name of the Rocky Sluggers pre-Todd-Helton era. Might have been thinking of someone in the Dante Bichette, Andres, the Big Cat, Galaraga, Larry Walker.

My guess is the big cat, but every one of those dudes would be slashing 300, 225 plus home runs, 85 plus RBIs by the All-Star break every single year. So it could have been any of the three. Let me know if I'm close. Slap my ass like my baseball coach did when taking the ball from me on the mound after giving up back-to-back jacks on consecutive pitches to start the All-Star game after never previously giving up a single home run before my life. True story. P.S. celebrated a birthday a few months ago at one of those bars. that has the indoor golf simulators.

Name of the establishment, none other than the clubhouse. Perfect location for a TG Live if Jersey makes the list of finalists. Should you know about this? Sent from the Excel spreadsheet that Kelly Rowland used to text Nellie in the dilemma video back in 2002.

I just got the chills. Well, well written. Well written. You know what? This is actually, I think, you know, I think this is I think this is Chris. I think this is the homie that came from Jersey to these guys live and indie last year.

Live show, Chris. Came to my show in New Jersey, too. Never forget that show. It was good weekend. Yeah, I think it was Gala Raga. Is that what he said? Andres Gala Raga. Yeah, he was in there.

Always cranking him, dude. Yard! Barton! Yeah. Galaraga is always like him and Jose Canseco, same guy? Just so on steroids, dude. You know, since when you see somebody in your like, I'm just on steroids, it's cool though.

It's like okay to do it now, I guess, which is insane. How steroids, like just for a normal guy's became like, just accepted. Does that happen? Maybe it's more out here than Indiana, but like everybody out here's on steroids. Definitely in Los Angeles. Yeah, I'm sure people have had to say.

say some shit to you about about it right I mean no because these dudes are on steroids and you can I don't I look I just look like a normal guy out here dude but every single guy is on testosterone I'm like it's so not fair man

damn well if you do that doesn't it I mean there's a bunch of different risks with it right but isn't like hair loss one of them so you're kind of you're already fighting that battle yeah I can't can't can't take a dose a test, dude, I even smell testosterone.

Four pieces of hair. Yeah, I can't do that. Also, I mean, like, what do you, like, you, you don't drink. You don't eat bad shit. You work out every day. Like, what do you? I know, I'm not complaining about it, but I'm just like, damn, you know? He did all that in one year.

Took me, what, 28 years to look like this. Staying out about that. Hey, but it means more. You know what? True. Because you did it the right way. Grassroots. Farm to table.

That Pagana? Are you doing Pagana? I don't know. It's like Pagano and every high school coach you've ever known. Yep. But every dude's on test and gear. Let's go to fellow Joey here. Brock Lesnar when he was on the Vikings.

Joey says I'm watching ESPN NFL primetime from week one of 1999. And even though this is a fellow. a sports or nostalgia podcast. I thought it was important. You knew that Chris Berman just said, We're Wolves of London Fletcher. By the way, Berman still does prime time on ESPN Plus every week of the season.

It's still great to see highlights of every game. Just station out about this. Spank me with a VHS tape of 1998 Randy Moss highlights, Joey. Oh, man. Gosh, Chris Bray. Yep. I mean, I do know. I see the advertising.

Monday night football. We record on Mondays mostly. So I'll be watching that tonight. I'm sure they'll be pumping that. But it's, I know, it's like Chris Berman doing it with Booger McFarland on ESPN Plus is like

if you went, if you went back to the house that you grew up in later on in life that had since been owned by another family. Can you do this with Cowherd? Can you do this in Cowherd?

Come on. Come on, baby. I already put out a Cowherd video today. I don't want to. Just for us. Just for us. Come on. No, but seriously, like, are you hearing what I'm saying? I know exactly what you're saying.

I mean, you grew up. You grew up in mostly the same house. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. But I didn't. So to me, there's a handful of houses that if I were to go back to. It would be a cool nostalgia rush, but it mostly would just be

pretty sad and kind of get me the hell out of here. Some houses, yeah. I'd be like, I don't like this vibe. I had different houses, but like, yeah. And that's kind of Chris Berman with Booger on ESPN Plus. Who's watching that? Still cool. Would give you a nostalgia. you'd probably have some funny stories and reminiscing times but at the end of the day

you're kind of like not the same feeling a little weirded out I need to go I'd rather find it somewhere else you know I'd rather I'd rather find my highlights just the just all over the place just scavenger mode

yeah that was the thing about prime time is like okay I can see what actually happened today and like keep trying of it. One stop shop. Yeah. You don't have to, what happened

in that game? And you just forget and you never look at it. Like, it was just so easy. Dude, how about, this is some serious ESPN shit?

How about when you, you didn't watch NFL prime time on Sunday night before Sunday night football? Or maybe you did. But then the next day on Monday, you caught it at like 3.30 p.m. Remember, it'd come back again on Monday.

Before Monday night football started rolling? No, not Monday night. football, but it was like right after school. It might have been like 4 p.m. on Monday. NFL prime time. No, no. I'd be like, this is on again?

This is weird, bro. No, I know what you're saying, but that's what I'm saying is that at that point in time, their daytime programming had come to an end. They didn't have anything else to do. There hadn't really been many live sports that day on a Monday in the fall. So they go, hey, we'll start off kicking off Monday night football and our coverage and stuff for that by rerunning everything that happened on NFL prime time yesterday.

I want to see you feel. You're so right though because it'd be after school and if you wouldn't have practice or whatever and you'd be having to do homework, but that would be on and she'd be like, this is kind of the tailgate. This is kind of the warm-up to Monday night football. Dan-da-da-da-da-ha.

Yeah, dude. Now I get kind of excited about football practice tomorrow. Yeah. It just doesn't hit the same. I had a vision in my head when I was like washing dishes. I was like, me and Joey should just do NFL prime time on YouTube or something, like our own version. How sick would that be? We could do, I mean, we had to do something.

The only thing about that is like the part of my take guys, they do the fastest too. They do the fast. Yeah, it's like they start off their Monday show with doing like recaps of all the Sunday games and doing it in like a Berman way. From, so I mean, there's a different ways of skinny cat. All right. We'll get there. We'll get there. Yeah.

Okay. I said, okay. And how about we go to Clubhouse Day 1, Jared, who's subject line says, okay. These guys, long time, long time. Couple things for you guys to ponder on. Is Gus Johnson 6.5 or 53? he's definitely 5-5

Gus Johnson How tall is Gus Johnson Writing it down Definitely I'd say no taller than 5-7 and a half Gus Johnson height I'm thinking like super

Super short Yeah Wait I'm getting Gus Johnson The football player The football player Yeah I mean you look at him Anytime he's he's doing Purdue broadcasts.

He's doing basketball broadcast with James Jackson, I think. Joel Clad, he's standing next to him. Joel Clatt's probably, he's a solid 6-3-6-4. Clat. Clat. Saw him at airport. Got too nervous to say anything. Clat.

Gus Johnson, 5-10. Ooh. Kind of shocked me a little bit. I thought he was like 5-2, like something crazy like that. Like Iron Eagle? Did you see that? All those memes going around about J.J. Watt and Ian Eagle? Oh, dude.

Is it like, is I an eagle five feet tall? Is he girlfriend's size? Bro, you got to look it up right now. All right. Look it up. Just look up J.J. Watt, Ion Eagle. I guarantee it's the first thing that comes up. J.J. Watt's first year in the booth as an analyst.

So him and I. Eagle are in the booth now together. They were calling the Steelers game. And they did a shot. You know, they do those shots that's like from across the stadium, but it's zoomed in and looking at them in the booth. So it's not right up on them like the intro shot, but it's far away and you see them together.

Yep. Yep. Hey, stand more far apart. So far apart. But look at that, dude. JJ's 6.5 probably. I mean, looks like he's 5.2. He could fit three, three iron eagles, three iron eagles in J.J. Watt.

But that one. went crazy viral and I get it because of the disparity in the height it was jarring but for me the one that was even crazier was the opening segment for them when you know they do all the scene setting and then they hello everyone welcome in and i'm dion eagle alongside j j watt and it's right up on him dude when i tell you that j j watt looked like just a grisly bear in a phone booth and ian eagle is just crammed in there I mean, JJ was taking up 80% of the screen. It was a crazy visual. I couldn't believe that got more,

didn't get more a run. Iron Eagle standing on a box in there for that shot? Can someone get him a chair? Get this guy a paint can. And I love Iron Eagle, man. The bird, he's a legend. The bird. Got me a fake name, dude.

Your name's Ion Eagle. I wish I could do I an Eagle impression so much, man. God, he's killer on those calls. He gets so excited. So good. Ion Eagle, you know what? Ion Eagle, he's like the white Gus Johnson. For some reason, I can't like think of Iron Eagle, like a call.

I know you got one. Well, it's like a famous Iron Eagle call. He doesn't really have, like, he doesn't really have like, I don't know, I'm sure he probably does. but he's been around for so long, but, like, he's definitely, he's done plenty of games

that you've watched or had on. What does he normally do? Like, what slot? He's the second, so Jim Nansen, Romo used to be Jim Nansen Sims. They always got the biggest game

for CBS. Yeah. But then the second biggest game was always Iron Eagle. Yeah. And then he's got, is his son or something, does it too?

Yeah, Noah. Okay, I think I saw him. Not sports. Yeah. All right. Anyways. This is still from Jared. An idea for the clubhouse.

Menus are in a quarterback wristband play caller, and any customization to your order have to be yelled out like a quarterback making and audible. Every drink order has to be a play on words. Yeah, so let me get the priest's home special, which is the Lord's Supper and bigger portions. Audible, audible. Bread has to be gluten-free.

anything to drink, sir. I'll have a glass of red. Sorry, I didn't mean to wine for it. Oh, God! Slat my ass with every single custom-made Molanero jersey all at once while Scott Van Pelt plays small forward for the ESPN Intermiral Basketball Team.

Oh my God. Same brain. Same brain as me right there. Scott Van Pelt is so small forward. I don't know. Scott Van Pelt, he's like edging on 6-7. Like he might be... That's small forward, yes.

NBA small Yeah, maybe PF in some Okay, NBA, but like College at high school, man, he's PF PF PF Intermural, he's probably going on, I don't know,

ESPN's the intermiral team, everybody's getting buckets, dude. Scott, SVP was getting buckets and intermural, just pulling down boards, slapping the backboard when he does layups. Oh, one of those that, but like, so sick.

He all, he doesn't, it all in one motion. He's going up and he'll he'll do the layup. Yeah. Just tap and nail nails on glass. He'll go up strong. He'll go up strong with two hands.

And as he's throwing it on the backboard, smacks the backboard. Ooh. The first time I saw somebody get a rebound. Take the ball and hit it against the backboard. I was like, all right, dude, we need that guy. So that was like, your seventh grade scrimmage against a public school.

team. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Playing a couple of guys that are going to Warren Central. What's up? Yeah, I dig it, Jared. I love that.

That can be thrown into the clubhouse bar rule. See, our problem, our problem with this is going to be, who do we employ that's going to understand and be able to take in all these clubhouse rules and audibles.

for their orders. It's got to be internal, dude. Clubhouse guys, no clubhouse. There you go. Clubhouse could come work at the clubhouse. We just start an empire. The wristband menus are so funny. Everybody gets one. You got to huddle up to order.

Come here, come here. Bring it. Let's go. I'll go cheesy tots. Two AMFs. and no no no hey hey hey here's an idea so one person has to be the quarterback of the table he's got all the orders everybody everybody has to give their orders and he's got to go recite it back like he's running the play call clean the more he stumbles and the more he forgets stadium pulse the booth starts to shake it always starts happening the table next to him yeah dude at that point if he But the rule is if you got more than five guys, you don't get a wristband, you just get a helmet and you put it on.

And somebody, like, calls him to play to you. Hey, crowd noise. Let's go. You can imagine that? Everybody's screaming in a restaurant. You're trying to get off the order. Hey, everybody, everybody is looking for some unique experience now. Everybody wants to go somewhere where they can post it on Instagram, day in their life on TikTok, that today's show's long.

longing for ideas of bullshit segments to do where they go. This bar in Indianapolis called the Clubhouse really puts you in the quarterback shoes. And then it's the person with the head, the helmet on everything. It cuts it cuts the inside our bar. It's got the Packers helmet and a visor on. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. So why did you want to come to the Clubhouse? Why did you travel six hours to come to the Clubhouse bar? Yeah, I just really love talking about early 2000s football players and wanted to have a different experience. And, you know, you can just see it happening now. My wife's never going to talk to me again. Why did you want to come to the clubhouse every interview? It's a clubhouse thing you wouldn't understand.

We try talking to members of the clubhouse. Fake-ass news voice. Yeah, it's so pitchy. It's so funny how everybody has to do that. I remember I just talked normal. I just talked normal during my internship and they were like, I don't know, I felt like I was very unwanted.

I was like, I'm just talking, man. You got turn it up. You got to turn it up, a little bit, dog. I got to turn on my news cadence. Whatever. For Channel 8, I've been,

Polense, sports are my life. Um, wish TV8. Wish TVA. Right, bad, bad, bad. From Dylan. Crazy Sports Guy at a campsite? Oh boy. These guys.

I wanted to share a story after hearing last week's pot about crazy sports guy. Over Labor Day weekend, I went to a small town in southern Missouri, practically in the middle of nowhere, to do some fishing in a state park. It's a beautiful place, and my extended family are all staying in some cabins by the river. At night, you usually sit around the fire, talk with everyone, drink, and hang out, right? Well, my cousin's new boyfriend thought instead of hanging out with everyone around the fire and enjoying the outdoors, without asking anyone, he brought a smart TV, plugged it into a whole ass generator, and used his phone as a hotspot to watch college football games every night all weekend long off the back of his truck. Mind you, using his phone that could have just watched it on the entire time, screaming at literally every play of every game he watched regardless of if it was his team or not. And I know we all love college football, but there's a time and a place, at least for that big of a setup he had. Have you guys ever gone camping and had any crazy wildlife stories?

Smack my ass with the extension court of that TV and drown me in the river. I've never gone camping. Yeah, I can't see you doing that. Never, ever either. Not even close. We need to break down the situation he's doing. talking about though with his family member here.

Not his family member. His cousin's new boyfriend. Cousins new boyfriend. That's good. Dude, what a bold move to do that. Stepping into a new family, like new thing. So the boyfriend got invited to this family's

like camping trip. On Labor Day weekend. So it's a holiday. Oh my God. You got to play by their rules, dog. That's not your home field. you got to do you got to go in there thinking like all right no phone almost you got to psych yourself so out of who you really are that you got to become like i don't even like football for that weekend you have to like make fire out of sticks i would be looking that kind of stuff up how do i skip a rock i'm not i'm not worried about the game the game's like the least in my concerns

I've been around and a part of my wife's family for a little over eight years now. And I think for the first at least a year and a half, I had them at least somewhat convinced that I didn't really care about football. Ooh. Yeah, you're putting on boyfriend hat. Because I knew I knew you had, you had to go over the top the other way. because once you once that toothpaste comes out of the tube

there's no going back in now that guy your cousin's boyfriend Dylan is forever going to be known as crazy football guy who has severe problems no

they're canoeing and shit camp off a pint it's two timeouts even get to the point No, there's some shit I'll do Kill him! Decapitation! Hurry him!

Decapitation! Break his lead! Kill him is so funny during a game. Just the running back? Kill him! I don't give a shit! While the family's roasting marshmallows around you. See, that guy's screwed. You can't...

Now, I've gotten to the point in my, relationship in my situation. That's not holding! All right. Just keep going, dude. I'll just come in with that every so often. To where for those first two years, I played cool, not that big of a deal,

don't care, but they knew deep down there, like, well, we know Riley tells us and he wears the gear, like he loves it. He's just, you know what? He's playing by our rules. He's making it nice and easy. Right? Got to respect that.

Now it's to the point where I'm in, and I know I'm in, and they know I'm in and I'm not going anywhere so now I can be crazy sports guy because they're like you know what Joey we love that you're just so passionate about something

I'm like yeah I know well fuck him that's not a block in the back you can do that now see that's how they paid them they paid the rest all right oh can't touch

pretty boy Josh Allen pretty boy MVP can't touch him And then the ladies are like, isn't he the one who, didn't he marry Haley Steinfeld? Yeah, I did. Perfect life! Another 15-yard penalty! Okay! All that, dude.

All that. Now I can't be that. And your cousin's boyfriend, done. See you. Screwed up. Week one? That's crazy. I don't really think he.

He likes the girl then, honestly. That or he just has like a severe gambling addiction. Or both. Or all of the above. Who doesn't? Camping, yeah, my in-laws speaking to them. They're big campers. They got a really nice RV, like, whatever you call them, butter home.

I don't know. So do do that. That is fun. Camping at the N.500, do recommend. When there's an RV involved or something like that, I'm like, hell yeah, I'd go. What? We have a house. Sinks and toilets and like stoves in this bit?

Yeah. Oh my God. Who's not going camping? But I'm thinking camping. I'm thinking like the tent at Dick's sporting goods camping. And like, you know, like some real like outdoors, fishing poles. We got an RV, bro. Hey, let's play video games in there the whole day.

Yep. pretty much Hey, they do Like my in-laws one They have where like You pop open a little Awning TV right there Like a nice like 44 inch one

You just you're out there by the fire Snacks Oh yeah So many snacks on camping trips It's all it is Dude Whoever would have thought camping would just be Video Games and snacks

It's like The complete opposite You do that moron a camping trip than you do in your house video games and snacks. That's the American dream right there. Just, hey, the whole time, trail mix. Just turn, just turning the great

outdoors into the better indoors. Swear to God. Better Wi-Fi out there than in your house. What did you eat today? 14 cliff bars. What's up? Getting on the sticks or what? Either trail mix or those pretzel clusters have peanut butter.

on the inside. Oh my God, dude. Hey, hey, we can't buy a package of them. They got to come in a crate of 3,400 of them. Yep, this is all we got. Hey, but you know what? You'll eat three quarters of that. Every one. Every single one. The whole trip, dry mouth. Sorry, I got peanut butter pretzel

mouth. Oh, peanut butter pretzel. muscle mouth. That's a tough I mean it's so good but the combination of the dry ass pretzel with the dry thick peanut butter. Might need some chapsic after that actually. This is from Riley.

Hey boys, first time email her long time birthday boy. She's like, turn it down. Be quiet. Stop yelling. That would be so funny. If she's send an email during this shit.

Stop yelling. Stop yelling. Stop yelling. You're scaring the kids. Nothing new there. Happy ran away. Bye. P.S.

Happy ran away. Oh, sidebar. That is, speaking of a yelling. This is a very interesting adjustment phase for me. with football Sundays and watching the Steelers because now Frank and Mira and Ted, my nephew, they're of the age where they take things in. They know what's going on.

They'll repeat things, you know. But also, if I yell, my son will very, Daddy, that is too loud. I don't like that. You know, so it's good for him. Got the volume gauge already. Nice. Volume gauge.

He'll do like Daniel Tiger. He'll be like, Daddy, take a deep breath. and count to four. Are you serious? Jesus Christ. I'm like, shut around, six yards of carry.

Six yards. Three for 15 on third down. All right, from Riley, not my wife. First time emailer, long time burpee boy. Love the show.

What are your thoughts on what Humpty Heaven would look like or Hunty Hell would look like? Love all the content, especially college game Dave Vids going to commercial, not a sports podcast.

Okay. Slot my ass. hard that I have to raise my hand to go washroom like in grade school. Wow. Washroom. Washroom. Nothing pissed me off more to this day when I asked to go to the restroom. And I was like, can I use the restroom?

And the teacher was like, I don't know, can you? And I was so, I was so confused. I was like, because I didn't know what she was getting at. And I was like, can I was like, I was like, I think. I was like, dude, it just made me so mad. He's like, you have to say may I. I was like, I don't even want to go to the bathroom anymore. Yeah.

Oh, you're going to, oh, you're going to, you know, clap back at a fifth grader. So you feel, feel good about yourself, Mr. Castro Giovanni? I had no clue. I was so confused when teachers would talk to me. What are you saying? What a roll of the dice just going to the bathroom, though, in class, you know? Like, what a, what a 15-minute break that was almost? Yeah, you had to have internal clock, you know.

you'd be able to gauge how your behavior had been, how the teacher's mood is. Kind of rope. What's the length of the rope we're working with here for this bathroom break? Got to read the room. Right. Is people crazy the teacher's patience level getting low? Is the teachers seem pretty chill? Can I wander a little bit here?

I remember somebody would ask to go to the bathroom at the wrong time. And I'd be like, and the teacher would let him. I was like, what the fuck is going on here? you just let Yes you can go I was like Okay Or or the opposite

Somebody asked at the wrong time Teacher blows their lid You know it's like One of your siblings Asked the wrong time Like can we get McDonald's Oh Night night

Piss your pants bro You don't have to go to the bat You never have to go to the bathroom When you're in school Uh-uh Um Humpty heaven or Hunty Hill

Any thoughts? Dude, Honey heaven is just Nothing but pictures in a flannel dog It's like Happy Gilmore's happy place But it's Hunties place

Wow, honey It's just like continuous It's just like continuous restaurants slash breweries That also have games in them Like bowling alleys and shit and darts.

Girls love nothing more than that. Games. Why it is so opposite. I'm like, yo, if I'm drinking, the last thing, drinking or not, the last thing I'm going to do is play a game. That's going to say.

Yo, I'm like, can I just sit here and like just do nothing? Oh my God, let's go bowling. I almost start laughing out loud. I'm like, oh my, are you serious? We have to keep track of shit now? I got to perform and keep track Can I just sit here?

It's just that And then followed by Dude maybe a lot of wineries I get down with the winery I'm not gonna go I'm not gonna go I want to consider myself a Hunty And I can get down with the winery

Yeah every once in a while though But Huntie wants to go winery Every weekend Yeah it's like You know a bunch of like Badax throwing Just like any anything that doesn't need to be a thing, that's

Hunty Heaven. Escape room? I'll never escape you. It's just on a loop. Just those flashes of they're there at that. They're bowling, their bad acts throwing, then they're going to the escape room. They're trying to figure out how to get out.

That's a nightmare. Taking pictures everywhere, bro. Hunty Hell just might be the clubhouse. Our restaurant. Yeah, you might be, yeah, that's right. might be this show and that makes me happy. It's perfect. Perfect.

Let's do one more from Hunter. Huntie Hunter. Hunter. Says Carolina Panthers should be the clubhouse team. What's up guys? We've been fans of me all for years now. Just started listening to the podcast in the last week. I'm hooked.

Good. Yeah. That's what's up. I've been going back to watch old. episodes to learn all the origin stories and inside jokes I've missed. Shout out, Ben, for commenting on my will your cohort be at the week one party? Comment on y'all's last IG post. Hey, you're picking it up pretty quick, man. If you've been listening for a little over a week and you already commented that.

I laugh out loud, bro. Cohort? At the week club, buddy. You're picking it up real quick. Anyway, I'm from Charlotte, lived here my whole life, diehard Kailana Panthers fan. I think the clubhouse should adopt us as your team for 2025. Bryce started cooking at the end of last year. Finally, have the right coach. It's the best wide receiver room we've had in 20 years.

And truly, I think the NFC South is wide open. I know this is an NFC South podcast, but y'all talk about the division a lot. Why not join these guys in the Queen City? So glad I finally started listening to the pod and will every week moving on. Keep pounding and slap my ass with a Roku remote after watching old clips of cowherd, burying Cam Newton on TV for no reason when he's the best QB

this team has ever had and belongs in Canton and we would have lost Super Bowl 50 even if he did dive on the fumble it didn't make a difference leave the Panthers go alone send from my iPhone on the couch while I procrastinate going to work to teach seventh grade English what a life man that sounds like a great life English teacher panthers he's a little funny follow-up from Hunter this is yesterday at 341 on week one kickoff he uh response. Jayah, just kidding, we suck. The Panthers lost like 26 to 10.

God, I just want to, I want the Panthers to do well so bad. Well, I will say, I mean, yeah, the Panthers, I know me and Ben have always, like, their uniforms and their logo and colors. Oh, it's always been really hard to have any problem with the Panthers. That 2014, with Jake Delham, a quarterback. Steve Smith. Muhammad Steve Smith Masu Muhammad

Ricky Proll Chris Gamble Julius Peppers right Pepper's on that team right yeah yeah

what a young JP and then DeAngel Foster Deshawn Foster that's right Daniel Williams was later coaches somewhere now

Deshawn Foster coaches for UCLA now look at you yeah almost broke down in tears I saw on the sideline. Because he did this, right,

when he dove in the end zone? Oh, it's so hard. We need to talk about that more. Facing the crowd. So sick. Back towards the field, facing the crowd. Love the Panthers.

Should we adopt a team? Like, you know, you adopt a highway. Should we adopt a team and be like, it's like really cheer for them? It's a clubhouse team this year. It would be a big, like, thing, though. Because we got to get the whole clubhouse on board too, you know.

Okay, that's the thing this week. You made it to the end of this episode. Send in email, comment on YouTube, send it on our, on Instagram, these guys, LOL. Your reasoning, your pick and you're, you're reasoning, you're campaigning for who the clubhouse team should be.

Obviously, you know that I'm, you know, college football. That way. College football and NFL. If you make a good enough pitch to me and Ben and we get everybody on board, then we will do that. And it can be a clubhouse thing

that people wouldn't understand. Panthers are out there, dude. Yeah. All right. So go ahead and do that. These guys, L.O.L. on Instagram, these guys, L.O.L. on YouTube, team these guys at gmail.com

to send an email in. Keep getting more and more ratings. Reviews keep popping in. I think we saw an early Doucette review, which is pretty cool. It's always so funny thinking about this, why we love you guys, but people who are stumbled upon our podcast

and then they just look at the reviews and it's just all those names. It's just got to be one of those things that you either get it or you don't, and that's the way we like it. Ben's in Baltimore here soon. Coming up, coming up at the end of the month, 25th, Baltimore.

See you there. Get your tickies, bennipoliti.com or right under there. Yep. Be able to look at it. too for within the next week, hopefully or so. We'll have a little news, have a little station out about this for you guys to check out and excited to tell you about it.

But yeah, good shit. Get you, Mitch. All right. Mitch. All right, cool. We'll talk to you next week. Sammy Coates. Kevin Blackiestone.

Is that a PT? Was that around the horn pole? Wow. These guys.