THESE GUYS! - dream job: owning a hardware store

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

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Oh my god, wait, wait, this one got me so messed up. Milkshake, AFC, smoothie, NFC? Dude, but I think it might be the other way. I think it's opposite way. Okay, okay, okay. Not bad for a fat guy. Let's go ahead, goal. Let's go ahead, go to Chicago.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Chicago, Chicago. Less than a week, babe. It's essentially show week. Show. I'll see you guys at the show Throw a deep dish pizza at my face

I'll see you in Chicago Yeah babe get your tickets Come on I don't know if we've promoted this enough But September 22nd baby Next Monday this Monday this coming Monday Zanis

Chicago Me and Joel Joel Live pod Live these guys Where are your jerseys, bring your burpee girls, even if they don't want to be there. Take picks with us after. Get the merch.

We're going 50% off merch in Chicago. Why not goal hit goal? Ken said it better myself. We'll just leave you right at that. You know where to get the tickets? Everywhere you follow us. Under there. Below when you're watching YouTube listening.

Yep, yep. Everywhere. Phoenix looked hot, literally, figuratively. Was hot. It was a good time. Poppin, dude. Best wings I've ever had, too. Oh, man.

What sauce do we talk in here? What horsey sauce? Such a guy podcast. I go Buffalo every time. I was originally a honey barbecue guy, and that's what I am in my heart. But then I realized that buffalo or honey barbecue wings are just candy. And I was like, all right. I guess can't do that anymore.

The honey barbecue, bro, the first time you had this. that. I was like, who's not getting this? Every time. Yeah, because the first time you had it, you were probably like 11 or 12 or 13. It's right in that range. And you're like, this is what I've been waiting for. Honey Barbecue. The first time I had them was the boneless ones from KFC Honey Barbecue all in that box. And it just the like, they put like paper around them that like wax paper. I open it up. It's just destroyed with Honey Barbecue. I was like, oh! Sauce. Yeah.

Sauce everywhere. Eat one in the car. Good luck, bro. 15 minutes. Secondary full of sauce gardener. Crazy. Eat one wing, turn into sauce gardener in the car. Your mom's still driving.

You're in the passenger seat. What's up? I'm pretty sure B-dubs maybe. I mean, how do they not do that? They did some partnership with them, but come on. I think I'm not going to do your marketing for you. But it's kind of a layup there with the whole, you know, When you, the Snickers campaign, that wasn't the NFL one, but when somebody would be hungry and they'd turn into somebody who is like bitching and moaning, but then they have Snickers.

They'd be in the car. So good. Yeah, look at Pellissy, though. This honestly would be my dream uniform matchup that we got right here. That's great. Is this what it's going to be tonight? Is it in? No.

No. Steelers going color rush. Uh-oh. Pretty good. Still not my favorite Steelers. I think that's my favorite Steelers uni. But the color rush is a good little toss-up. Remember they had the yellow ones

that they just sold at like sports fanatics? You know how it has so many of those? Who? Your dad? Bro, that's just all I want to do. What do you want to do before you die? I just want to look in Joey's dad's closet at stuff. My final wish.

dude the way the way that you would I mean he's going to text me about that immediately he's going to text me about that immediately he's going to be so excited to do he will walk you through the entire thing and I'm not going to lie him and my mom they got a pretty decent size closet

like a lot of times I'll go over there to film sketches or like paid sketches that I need to do similar to how you do with coach peas I'll get out of my house away from the dogs away from the kids go down there and my dad I mean he does he's got a full closet that everything is on it On a hanger, on a shelf, put away, know where everything is.

Now I'm getting into Kuiper a little bit. Yeah, I love it. It's a strong closet. Very strong closet. Very strong closet. He's got a dress coat of the very back. He's got all the steel stuff at the very front. Nowhere it is.

Good to go. Sort of by color. I mean, literally. Like, he takes it seriously. He's got some, like, mean soccer kits in there, too. I'm like, all right. Yeah. Dude cannot, cannot see a soccer kit.

I'm just going to call it a jersey because I'm not that cool. cannot see a soccer jersey and not text me about you about it. Bro. Cut out the middle man, Mr. Molinaro. Right to me. I want, dude, I want more text from your dad than my dad. You want more texts from my dad than from me. They're both pretty good, but your dad does pack heat.

Thanks. When your dad texts me, I'm like, we're getting picks. We're getting vids. We're getting ideas. Oh, when he gets the ideas going. Yeah. Loves to have the ideas going. But yeah, we record this on Monday.

So when you hear this, you already know the outcome, but Benny's got the very, very nice early 2000s Miami Dolphins, Ricky Williams Orange with the drop shadow, the Navy drop shadow. God, man. Yeah, they used to wear them. It's the Navy ones they never wore, which, God. This era of dolphins, Wildcat Dolphins, Ronnie Brown Dolphins? Chad Pennington Dolphins?

Yeah. We post that on these guys the day in 2008 when Ronnie Brown invented the Wildcat and dominated the Patriots. And I just could not get over how much better the classic dolphins look as than this eel, eel, like skinny, eel, skinny yoga. dolphin we got going on here. What the hell? Old school dolphins.

Didn't you just want to root for them? You know? When the dolphins would play the Patriots and have no shot, you'd just be like, come on! Even though you didn't even care. I swear that always happened. I always was relying on the dolphins to be, yeah, the Patriots or someone, so they're Ravens

so the Steelers could have a better seed. Always a Dolphins, dude. Most tropical team. Kind of under the radar, a dolphin fan. Hey, when the dolphins used to be in the conference with the Colts, kind of miss it kind of miss it why were they ever in that

so weird hey what do you think about when the dolphins what do you think about when the dolphins go teal pants white jersey

what do you think uh I like it anything I really like teal on teal that was my favorite I don't know why I don't know why did they have like a good corner

or something Antoine Winfield or something Like, they look so good. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Did you know about Pat Sertan Sr. Oh, yeah. The Dolphins D.Bs.

And Sam Madison. Bro. Oh, my God. Offensive coordinator. So what's station? Station about, D.Bs? Stationed about one of the best defenses ever.

Nobody talks about it. Jason Taylor? Jack Thomas. Station about that? Stationed about them. Hey, hey, well, anybody who's like on the cusp of, hey, TG Live, yeah, I don't know. What's it going to be? Well, you're looking at it, babe.

Sorry. Wait, wait. Do those guys just talk about how big Zach Thomas's neck was the whole entire time? Wait, why do they talk about that? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe, who does? It's going to be a whole bunch of stuff.

Politsi's coming into town. We're going to have some old school chop shop. Wow. To get going. Figure out everything. All the nuts and bolts, man. Nuts and bolts. A lot of moving parts.

When somebody says that to you, hey, your first day on the job, somebody says, hey, I know there's a lot of moving parts. I'm like, dude, just call me a dumb ass. Like, it's fine. Hey, this hand motion, too. Dude. Become a DJ?

The worst day. There's a lot of moving parts here. DJ moving parts. Moving parts on the ones and twos. What are the ones and twos? Anyway, I'm so sick of that. That's the move right there. New dance move.

First day of the job, moving parts. Me at the TG after party? Say baby, what's your story? Wait, is that moving parts over there? Fingers taped? Bro, bonus points If you come to TG Live with your fingers taped And a plug mouthpiece in

Just hanging Bro, tell him Bro, that's what we want, dude Commit to the bit No chance If you're coming to TG Live No chance you're getting laid In the next three weeks

And that's how we want it, dude Wait, was he wearing eye black To a literal live podcast? Yeah, he was. And so was I. Hey, what do we think about those The George Picking ski masks? The shiasty?

The shiasty, so are we in on this? I mean, under the helmet, that looks so good, you know? When there's like a free safety that's like jacked And has the white underneath all the way up here and no sleeves I'm like, oh my God, dude. Yeah. So sick. See, that's what's so funny is.

That sets a trend and that looks so cool and those kind of guys and players. But then it's like there's some 17 year old kid named Noah who's doing that. You know, like, okay, man. Hey, Noah Chance. No, but yeah. Come on. I saw a dude. I saw a dude.

We were in Scottsdale and the scene out there is insane like bars and clubs and stuff. And there's a dude wearing one of those like, out and he couldn't even pull it off. I was like, I don't know, dude. I'm like, remember it's 90 degrees here. It just, yeah, at that point it screams that one dude who's on Instagram that, I'm by whatever, God, I'm by whatever, God. You haven't seen that?

I probably have. Sorry, now I'm the, you haven't seen that? Have you seen this? But I just thought for sure it's been all over TikTok. Like an Instagram. I've probably seen us. This dude, he's like wearing a shi-se-y thing. And he's at a basketball game.

And he's just literally going, I'm about whatever good. Is he kidding? I'm about whatever good. And then I, yeah, it's like a rage bait thing. Because at first I was like, who the hell is this? And then I just clicked on the profile. I did a little more research. I was like, oh, he's just like, he's doing that as a character and a troll.

Anyways, enough about that. Yeah. Yeah, what was it about two. Got to be in college for the schist. for the shysty. Or you just got to be jacked, you know? If you're going to wear that in high school, letter of intent to a division one school

has to have already been signed. Oh, yeah. That's the only, that's it. That's, that's, and even then, you still haven't really done shit because then you could go to college and just flame out and get fat

and, like, quit after your freshman year and you're like, okay, doesn't really count. I just want to know the amount of players who commit to a college and then quit after their freshman year. It's got to be like, because it's half the team every year. It's so crazy.

Like, I go into my sophomore year and it's just 12 guys. And I'm like, what happened to everyone we came in here with? Quit, quit, quit, quit. I'm like, damn. But yeah.

Yeah, it's really wanted to get fucked up. It's really one party to get fucked up. Yeah, I just wanted the college experience. Yeah, there's just too many movies. parts with practice and working out and games. No, no, no. Just the college experience. Okay, you want to order from the pizza place at 3 a.m.

Every Thursday night and get blackout drunk. Cool. All right. Sick. You go to Ivy Tech, Bloomington. All right, cool. Hey, low-key, Ivy Tech, sneaky, nasty logo. One of the best, man.

That little Ivy Y in the shape of the leaf, dude. I'm like, okay, okay, Ivy Tech. Makes you think about the Ivy. Makes you think about all sorts of things. All green. Wrigley Field, Poison Ivy. I'm like, let me get some Ivy Tech socks or something real quick. Ivy Tech basketball jersey?

Dude, if Ivy Tech had a student section had to be called Poison Ivy. Oh, bro. Can you imagine that? Who? Whoa, what's going on over there? Those people seem crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's poison ivy.

Hey, welcome to the woods. Oh, God. Their stadium. The stadium's called the woods. Oh. Are there more? Is Ivy Tech just Indiana, not a local podcast? Is there more than one, though?

Yeah, I don't, because I feel like at other places, in other places you have like University of Phoenix, like Grand Canyon. But what's weird is like Grand Canyon will show up in the NCAA tournament. I'm like, aren't they're a playing game? I thought that was fake. I thought you guys were just doing like online degrees.

What the hell's going on here? I thought it was all a fantasy school and then I see a football game at Grand Canyon University and they're like, oh, I'm like, wait, dude. Shouldn't you be finishing like your course online or something? Thursday at 2 p.m. March Madness, they're the 14th scene. Kevin Harlan's like,

And Grand Canyon hits another one! I should have gone there, dude. I thought that was just like the big hole. GCU. Yeah, I know. What? You guys put a school down there? Is it down there?

It would be sick. Pretty sick. It was. It was. You guys got Starbucks down there? Oh, somebody asked me this the other day. I'm going to ask you, Hey, are you, are you, uh, Eastern conference or Western conference?

That's what? That's not crazy. Now we're getting wild. Yeah. Dude, some of the. Kendall Cruz, a lot of the. Kenny Cruz, shout up. A lot of the comments on both TikTok and Instagram,

man, bravo. Well, a lot of people were pulling out. I mean, getting into the nitty gritty of like Friday, AFC, Saturday. and I'm like shit like that. I mean, that's... Just got the chills. There was such a good one. There was such a good one.

I had to get off my phone. I was like, I got to stop. Because I got mad that we didn't come up with it. Yeah. Yeah. And like, my brain's never even gone there. I was like, what? Oh, yeah.

We could go through all of it. But man, Western Conference, Eastern Conference. Oh, shoot. This is a whole different. This is a whole different. Oh, what I liked. That's what makes me think of it. Somebody said,

National League, AFC. American League NFC. It's like, Oh my God. Are you my literal blood brother? No one's ever understood me more in my life than whoever said that. Target, AFC, Walmart, NFC. These are so, oh my God, wait, wait, this one got me so messed up.

Milkshake, AFC, smoothie, NFC? Dude, but I think it might be the other way. I think it's opposite way. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. Because smoothies too fun and fruity. NFC is like chocolate You know what I mean? You have seen me tell me

Concrete Mixer is playing in the AFC South No They're playing the They're playing the lions on Thanksgiving Coorslight Budlight Yeah okay okay I'm just gonna Marvel AFC DC NFC NFC was so hard bro

Pretty on brand width I think it's flipped because you said Yeah Well Superman Marvel Superman DC But he's so He's so a FACC vibe

It's it's so weird that people are like Would watch that clip And they'd be like this it's all flipped to me Like how Yeah The chemistry is so weird That's uh it truly is like uh Is this dressed gold or black or blue or black or whatever

Blue and black or golden white Right some people's brains just Forks NFC spoons AFC FFC That right there I'm so jealous, man Whoever that

That's so insane Oh man Shout out Yeah that's crazy But I think you're Eastern Conference You're definitely Western Conference You think

Because that's like a great compliment man Yeah You're definitely Western Conference And you're right I definitely probably have Eastern Conference It's like you said when you were like, yeah, I think you're like Notre Dame. And I was like, yeah, you're like the you.

Like it just. Bro, but I mean, Eastern Conference ain't a slouch. You got, you really, really think back to the, you got AI. You got Vince Carter. You got, I'm not saying it. It's slouch. I'm just like, you're, in my mind, Eastern Conference is like, yeah, you know, I don't really fuck with them and I don't give a shit.

And I just don't really want to be around him where you're at Western Conference and you're like, uh-huh. Yeah. No, you know what I mean? Like that Like I don't operate that way I'm just like all right, yeah, cool man Like but you, but that's that's, that's,

you're at the Staples Center, you know, and I'm at, I'm at the garden. Wow. Hmm. Just thinking about like how, like, I don't know. Like I'm Spurs. That's crazy. You're, yeah, like,

I'm, I'm at the garden. at noon on Christmas Day. It's two degrees outside. And it's snow everywhere. And it's just harsh and like, it's just, you know, cold. And then they flip over to the Staples Center

and there's palm trees and sunshine. And it's still Christmas Day. People are walking around with Santa hats on, but have like tank top jerseys with no sleeves underneath. And they're like, how is this the same? Right. How is this the same thing? How are they in the same?

but that's that's me and you Eastern Conference Western Conference could talk about it forever Why are we getting some clubhouse Let's go to the Let's go to the mailbox Substitute teachers reading them today So

Oh real quick I uh real quick I uh real quick I uh for the produce show that I do We had our last one of the year Perpy people I love you poop but We got our last one of the

like before Christmas today. And we had Matt Painter on. You had Coach Painter on. And I hit him with a little rapid fire Christmas segment. What did you ask? Turn your list. Hey, you've been naughty or nice? That was the last question.

Oh, no. Bro, if he said naughty, I got to go. No, no, no, no. That wasn't the question. I was like, what's on Coach Painter's wish list? Hey, a seven foot center? He said containing He said containing the dribble

So So coach Whatever that means But yeah I asked him just all like the basic Christmas shit But it was funny He was down Hey hey hey Is Dyer a Christmas movie?

I just want to know How many times that's going to be asked In sports radio This week Be back after the beach No, what's going to happen is somebody's going to do like their Mount Rushmore, their top five of Christmas movies. And somebody's going to say, now coming in, number three, call me crazy, okay? Call me crazy.

But I got to go die hard. What? Are you? What are you doing die hard? Hey, I mean, it's on Christmas Eve throughout a Christmas party. Diehard is a Christmas. That's exactly what's going to happen. all over the country.

Did I hear of Christmas? On the ticket. Is Rocky for a Christmas movie? I don't know. Those are the real questions. Okay, sorry, go ahead. Yeah, substitute teacher on the emails today. Switching it up.

Go ahead and go. Here we go, and go. All right. Brody. Appreciate the pod, fellas. I know Ben wasn't watching the Eagles Chargers Monday night game, but all I could think of

was how many times he would have said, get a bit! During the Jalen Hertz Interception Fumble, fumble play. I know Christmas is over and has been for a while but wanted to share my best jersey story.

When I was 13, I got a Cortland Finnegan Ram's jersey for Christmas. Tried it on immediately and it didn't fit. Still think about that moment to this day. Joe and Coach Tomlin, just kiss already. Yeah, dude.

Jerseys that don't fit. Will you guys just make out? I know what I'm doing after this. Going right to AI video. Joey, Coach Talman, kissing, TG Live promo. There's a lot of tension. There's a lot of tension there. Sexual tension.

I get it. Geez, come on. Carl and Finnegan Rams. Damn. Gosh, that's, that is tough, man. We were going back to the jerseys last week, talking about how much we love getting those. But every, you're right.

Every year it seemed like whether there's a grandma or mom or just whatever, you'd get that jersey in and it wouldn't be the exact right fit. But God, you would do, you would politic like you were running for president that you were just going to convince yourself. This would be fine. This would be fine because you didn't want to have to go through the process of sending it back. It was like a weird, I think maybe, I don't know what age it was, but you can't really fit into an NFL jersey because it's too big. Adult small is too big and youth XL is too small. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. Yeah.

I don't know what to do. No. I just got a way to you. No, you know exactly what to do. At least this is what my parents did, my sin and everything. They just get me, this is get me an adult medium or large. They'd be like, it's going to be baggy, throw a hoodie on underneath it. Now you can wear it for the next five years.

I wasn't thinking like that. It's like when I would first get it when I was 10. Like, yeah, it was probably a little bit long. But yeah, you throw it. throw a hoodie on, but then all of a sudden, I'm 13, still got a Heinz Award jersey. Good to go. Yellow. Yeah. Dude, I would be, I would be the guy that wouldn't try to convince myself. I would just be like, I would be like, mom, can you tell grandma to return it? I'd be like, I'd be that guy.

Dang. Dude, I would. That takes a lot of self-discipline. No, and it did, it would never happen, though. Because, like, you know how hard it is to get somebody else to return something for you? It's not even for them nightmare And I'd be like Trying to turn it around the next day I'd be like they're open tomorrow Like being like I was annoying dude

I should have just taken it and shut up But you're totally right though I mean somebody else I don't even want to return something of my own I've got like four boxes And stuff I need to return I'll just never do it No

But damn yeah I mean And you would know You would know in your reaction Because you would open it and even your reaction, you're like, I don't know. And then you put it on as you put it on. You're trying to do everything to like, yeah, no, actually, I think I like it. Like it's, you know, you would be doing everything just because you're like, God, what's the point?

I just opened this gift. I'm so hyped about it, but it's a waste of a gift if I can't. It's just how you thought when you're young. You just knew. You open it up and you're like, this can't be the right size. This cannot be. It's different than pants, too. Pants, you get a pair of pants or some kind of like sweats or something.

can do that roll. Bro, I should be the roll king. Two, three rolls. High school basketball game, two, three rolls. What's up? You would know, too,

if they're like khakis or a different kind of pant, maybe some sweatpants that were like cloth. They were probably going to shrink a little bit, just naturally from wash. I wasn't going to fit the exact same. Jersey? Jersey.

Jersey? Jersey? Never shrinking. Jersey? No. Shrinking? That's, not shrinking.

Cotton baseball trees. This is a straight mesh polyester. Yeah, good luck. Yeah. It's not going anywhere. All right.

Here you go, Mike. Gentlemen, I was thinking the other day about how kids they will never know the pure glory and chaos of recess football. Back then, it wasn't just a game. It was a full-on battleground.

And at the center of it all, the vortex, the undisputed king of the play The vortex football hands down the greatest recess ball ever created. That aerodynamic tail, the ridiculous spiral you could put on it, the way you could travel the entire length of the playground. If you had even a halfway decent arm, nothing touched it. And the whistling vortex was even more elite.

When someone launched that thing, you could hear it slicing through the air like a rocket. Every kid instantly transformed in a Dante Cole Pepper or Warren Moon dropping back unleashing the deepest bomb their little shoulder can handle. And don't get me started on the elite one-handed snags that would make Randy Moss blush. We're all going to league for sure. And now I'm getting my six-year-old one for Christmas to maybe bring it back for the next generation. Maybe he and his friends will start their own legendary recess football battles. Maybe that whistle will echo across the playground yet again.

Maybe the Vortex era isn't over after all. Those were the days. and I'm hoping to revive a little of that magic. Merry Christmas boys. Cheers. Monty. Different name than before. Sent from the computer lab after dying from Chlorah playing Oregon Trail.

Colera. Colera. Colera. Colera. Yeah, Clara. Guy you can't read. That was beautiful. That was like an essay to our childhood there.

It should be in like the New York. times or something. Yeah, man, the war. I saw one. I saw one at Target. N-cap. It's walking by electronics. I always take a quick look over to the toys, see what I'm missing.

They got anything? They got anything? What's hot? You know what I mean? I just want to see a whole shelf of vortex balls. I was like, oh! We're still here! I had a kid. Huh? That's it. It's the only reason I had a kid. It's just to be able to go

in through the toy aisle and not feel like weird about it, you know? I'm just, oh, that's from my son. Dude, I'll still look. Dude, if I see Legos, I'm like, what do they got, though? Crazy. What they got? Insane. They came out with the flowers.

I was like, oh, what? Lego is wild now, man. Every Star Wars ship you could ever want, every Star Wars character, Star Wars heads, I have a Mandalorian one up there. You build it? Yeah. built it a handful of years ago. Yeah, see, we, dude, I feel like I don't disagree.

The ball is awesome. But that was more of a after school at your friend's house in the backyard ball or on their street ball. I feel like we never had that at school. No, we'd get in trouble. If you brought that to school for recess, we'd get it taken away because it's kind of a weapon. Like we'd have like one of the biggest kid throw,

as hard as he could at the smallest kid like we would do that for sure. Or like bomb it to the girls who were playing like hopscotch it'll cross the way you know. Dude, yeah. Yeah. We wouldn't we would that wouldn't stand a chance

at our school. We would just, I don't even think we were allowed to have a football at recess because they were like, they'll start tackling each other. Why were we so bad? Like anything you put in recess like we're going to turn it into violence.

I remember there were a few times I feel like where we had maybe someone maybe like the maybe like the barn shed that had all the football equipment was open or something and we could kind of get a football from there and use it or I remember if yeah a few times something like that or somebody would just bring in like an actual football in their book bag and it would be okay it would have their name and Sharpie on it you know in the Baker big letters white part yeah Alan.

Yeah, we could use that or, dude, we just ended up playing with those red dodge balls. Playing football with those? Yeah. Oh, dang, we never did that. You guys got created. That was the only ball we had. We did it one time. We had a football and our teachers just let us run wild.

And I think we were kind of playing tackle a little bit. We were playing like tough two hand touch. But people were like shoving and it got real, dude. Like play like the best. kids in the grades were like stepping up. I was like, oh shit, dude. It was always tough when the kid would hit his head on like the dumpster. You know, that's when game would be off.

Somebody hits her head on the dumpster. And even he, even he is trying to keep it down because he's like part of the gang. You're like, dude, don't cry. Don't cry. You'll ruin it for everybody. Even he knew to like, you're probably bleeding internally, but just shut the hell up for now. Mrs. Beckham, she's going to see this. We're going to have indoor recess for two weeks.

see what always was was those crossing routes. You know, he'd be on like a crossing route underneath, coming from the slot. And, you know, your head is turned fully around. So by the time, and there's just an extra defender for us, you know, the dumpster. You're like, hey, run him into the dumpster. Cool. Jobs accomplished, you know. Talk about recess football.

Breaking it down. You see what we did there? He's got the dumpster. is his extra defender he just runs it right through it's a nice job by Pulitzer on the sideline Recess football is so fun

never a vortex though vortex was always just like I never really played a game ever with organized game with a vortex it was always just like you're chilling with your boy yeah you're just trying to launch it

maybe jackpot because you could just fucking go all the way there's a lot of different names we're talking like touching clouds yeah But it is great You're not you're not wrong

I mean it's an all time ball Good on you for getting it for your kid It's awesome I think they put the whistle on there So it wouldn't So you wouldn't kill people It's like a warning Yeah

That John Elway joint Or the one that There was one you used to press a button And the tail would be like Oh Yeah What was that? Was that the Ryan Leaf one?

Such a distinct sound Like I feel like you could put that whistle sound up against a lot of different things. And people of our generation are like, yeah, it's the Nerf. That's the Nerf whistle sound. Take me back, literally. All right. Carlos.

Hey, fellas. Love the pod. Can't wait to see the live show with the misses in Chicago. Uh-oh. Burpee girl. Hey, good luck. Good luck to you too. What's the move on Ugly Sweater Day,

Spirit Week. Do you wear your rival football team sweater or do you not do it because you'd have to pay 40 to the Packers in order to get the sweater? Sent from the Yahoo Mail app for the iPod Touch. God. Yahoo Mail app. Kill me. I don't really understand. What's the move on Ugly Sweater Day Spirit Week? Do you wear your rival football team sweater or do you not do it because you'd have to pay? 40 to the Packers in order to get this.

Oh, oh, oh. He's doing it as like a gag. Like, oh, yeah, it's ugly sweater day. No, what are I wearing my Packers? You know. Damn. I don't think you wear the rival. I just think you wear your favorite one that's like ugly, right?

Dang. Yeah. I never get like bought. If I was doing an ugly sweater, I'd always go to Goodwill and just find like a crazy one. That's, yeah. I mean, that's what I was good. Thanks for excited to see you guys at the show. I appreciate it. But that's what I was going to say is like I get the bit. I get the gag. You know, probably get some, probably get some decent laughs. But I think regardless, go to somewhere like a Goodwill or a T.J. Max. And chances are, not chances are, but like, you know, if you're living in the Chicago land area, it would probably be a Packers thing or two or a bike. King's thing or two in one of those shops.

So then you get it as like a decent instead of going to like Fanatics or NFL Pro shop. All right. Not that worth the bit. You know what I mean? Mm-mm. Yeah. O.G. ugly sweater.

I think it's a way to roll. Got a couple of them. Dude, I had like five for so long. And I was like, I don't know. They're just in my closet. I was like waiting to be invited to a party. I'm like, I guess. Waiting to be invited to a party that you wouldn't go to.

True. I'm a sweater bitch, dude. This time of year. Anytime that I have to do something that's not a video or recording with you, maybe even recording with you, but like any Christmas party, any just like, hey, we're having, we're getting together for dinner and it's December 14th.

I'm like, I'm busting out green pants. of a sweater. They look so good. And they're so warm. They're so thick. Cozy. It's festive. It's great.

Taking a nap in that. Going to sleep in that. Dude, went to sleep last night. Sweets and a crude neck sweatser. I was like, you know, might as well have pneumonia.

All right, here we go. From Scott, we must, subject, we must protect this house. So, fellows last week you were saying there's probably no kids listening to the show while I'm here to tell you my two sons both around 10 are proud clubhouse members forget math and english I'm

teaching him about Sean Taylor's face mask taper Neil Smith nose bandaid I even had to explain to them Christmas is over god they get it we also have a newborn baby girl and every time I burp her you can count on one of them saying I love you burpy girl whoa The other day my oldest boy said, station, how about baby needs a diaper? Station, no baby needs a diaper?

Most proud I've ever been in my life. Just thought you guys might like to know, I'm passing the torch down to the next generation of Clubhouse from Scott, Laverneus Coles, sent from my Nokia 3250. Dude, what is that?

I got to look that up. That's, dude, that sounds like a quarterback cadence. Nokia! Nokia! Nokia! 3250! Oh! Oh, this.

was crazy. No way. This is real. Hold on. Oh, shit. Went to eBay. Now I'm really about to just buy this phone. All right. I see. I'd be there for the show. Oh, man. They're just so, dude, they did anything with phones. Yeah, turn it into a Rubik's cube. Yeah, right. It was like Whoville of phones in the early 2000s.

Like, you know, at Whoville and the Grinch, everything is just, so wacky and wonky and out of the ordinary and odd shape. That's what that era was. Wow, this is all crazy. We have all these opportunities. Let's just, yeah, sure. Spin it 360 at the bottom for some reason. Cool.

Buying it. It's like when you had the upgrade, you know? Yeah, I'm like eligible phone on an upgrade. I can get a new phone. Was that like every year? I've had the same phone for like six years. So I'm missing that. I know.

But like back before iPhone days, I think it was like every year you could get a new phone so they're just busting them out but I still think even back then I had the same phone for like five years in a row The second you get a second you get a new one Just break I mean it's just

It's not even worth it Yeah iPhones now I'm like it's more of a hassle just to go get one I'm like god damn gotta upload you're gonna switch your stuff over the phone I'm always so nervous Like it's not gonna all go over. I'm like, are you sure it's all going to go over? Yeah, because it's your whole life.

Every picture? In the store. Now, now for me, it's like, yeah, literally since Frank was born, like, the, the, fifth minute he's living on earth documented on that phone. I'm like, yeah, I don't want anything. I'm not going to trust anything that's crossing over or anything. That's important shit, you know? I don't know what to do. It does freak me out. Maybe a hard drive or something. Yeah, it's all going to get deleted.

Thanks. No evidence you have the son. Sorry. Going back to that email, man, that's, wow, what an honor. Little kids, little little clubhouse members running around there. Yep.

The next generation. The next gen. Next gen. Gen Clubhouse. Hell yeah, finally. And congrats on the baby girl. Sean Taylor's face mask tape. Never forget.

For a second, I thought he said Sean Alexander there. I was like, Sean Alexander did that? Oh, no way, dude. Sean Alexander's. Oh, business, man. No gloves. 37 running back? No thanks.

Okay, here we go. From Andrew. gronk throwing Sergio Brown out of the club. Wow. Remember this, yeah. Hey, fellas, longtime listener, first time emailer. This is Russ from the North Shore area of Massachusetts. Whenever I walk my, whenever I walk my usual loop in the neighborhood, I always walk past

this bizarre shop called McCauley's House of Vacuum Cleaners on a main road in town. apparently Mr. McCauley does repairs on vacuum cleaners. And some years in December, he will put out a full wooden nativity scene on the roof above his porch. I tell you all of this because I wanted to know, do you guys have any memories of bizarre buildings, businesses in your area? You can take this question any direction you want. For some reason, whenever I walk past Mr. McCollies, I thought of you guys in the clubhouse would find it funny. Thanks, Russ. P.S.

Still emotionally recovering from when Eli Manning won the Super Bowl in 2008 and made me cry myself to sleep as a five-year-old. Been there before, pal. Crying because of a, yeah, oh yeah, in the shower. Steelers Broncos. Probably. During 60 minutes, me in the shower. Why? It's not fair.

Just pounding on the shower wall. Because Cordell Stewart can't get the job done, dude. Basically, me, after Big Ben through that tith interception, once the Jesse James touchdown was called back in 2017 against the Patriots. Dang. What game was that? Was that a playoff game? No, it was like week 15.

It was like this time of year. Oh, my God. I'll never forget that. dude the way I threw my hat so hard I thought I had a chance of breaking the window with my hat that's how hard I threw it

because I was so mad the little metal clip on the back like it was this time of year it was super cold outside I mean I'm never trying to think if I ever felt more sick to my stomach

based on an outcome of a game than that I think there's a couple of Michigan games or I was mad like super mad. It was just, it's always those ones that go, the pendulum swings so much in such a short amount of time. Like in that game,

we go from Gronk scoring a touchdown with like 50 seconds left to go to take the lead. Just depressed. It's the second play. First play of that drive, I think. Big Ben checks it down to Juju Smith-Schuster

on a shallow drag route. And he goes up the sideline and the Patriots just like don't tackle him. So he takes it like 80 yards. I remember that. And so you go from like, oh my God, we had to go the whole field. And now we're at the 10 yard line with like 26 seconds left. Like we could do this. At the very worst, we can kick a field goal and tie it and go in overtime.

So going from that to Jesse James catching it, looks like a touchdown, call a touchdown. Wow, they're really going to do it. to then getting reversed and then to then still recovering it from it being reversed to Big Ben fake spiking, forcing it into like triple coverage and the Patriots deflecting it

and just picking it off and kneeling in the end zone. Like there's just so up and down that like I still, you really felt like you were on a roller coaster and you were getting sick to your stomach because it was just so much you're like on a racer at King's Island.

Oh, racer. Good poll. Not a sports podcast, but yeah, that's like eight years ago this week, that game, and it just still

just wrecks me. Not a Midwestern amusement park podcast. I wish it was. Mr. McCullies. That's what happened to me yesterday, dude.

I was watching the Colts game and I was rooting for them to win like hard. Like I was in And the last minute It's just like I'm like bro do that the whole game

You know crazy Like you can just you can just go 80 yards In 20 seconds Just at the snap of your fingers Do that the whole time The last minute it's so it was so easy for them To get all the way down the field and kick a field goal Yeah Colts defense put up

Literally no resistance Three plays I'm like what hey Come on dog I don't know. Three plays, Seahawks, and Fieldgo Range, now sports podcast. Yeah. Weird businesses?

Mr. McCulley's. See, while you think of some weird businesses, like, I love this kind of shit because it just feels like it's something from like a movie, like, it's a wonderful life. Like it's like a hardware store that's like mixed with like a soda shop. God. And like a pharmacy. And you're like, everybody just goes in there to like hang out. and it's just all small town Americana. Like, I love that.

I think that's awesome. Played against sports. Everybody probably knows. Everybody probably knows Mr. McCulley. Like, can't. Oh, he finally goes the nativity scene out. Like, Halloween probably has like 6,000 inflatable Halloween things blown up. I'd always be the person to, like, put Jesus somewhere else.

If I see a big nativity scene, like, I'm messing with it, dog. Like, I don't. Dude, I could be 75 years old. Like, I'm putting Jesus. somewhere. I'm putting Jesus in the pond behind the nativity scene. It's just so funny. I tell you I did that to that one on the circle. Oh, there's a nativity. Did you really? Yeah, bro. I was just walking around downtown like after a podcast or something. I don't even know what I was doing. And there's a nativity scene on the circle at a church downtown Indianapolis. It's pretty big nativity scene. It's like on a platform. It's like lit up. And I got a Starbucks coffee and I put it in baby Jesus's hands like in. the manger like in the and there's like six families like taking pictures

like and one guy was like oh my God and I was like watching them like to see what they'd say and they'd be like this is great but man whoever needs a whoever put that Starbucks cup in baby Jesus's hand really needs to rethink their situation

and I was like you're right and I went up there and took the Starbucks cup out I was like whoever did this is going to hell and I threw it away and just like literally ran to my car. I was so scared. So you were the hero. You were, you were, you were the cause and also the hero.

Framed myself to be the hero. But it was so funny with the, with the Starbucks, dude, baby Jesus with a venty just. See, that's so fire. I was like, right? Right? And they're like, no. And I was like, yeah, you're right.

Yeah. That's some shit. That's some shit that like 2013 Pope Benedict would have just posted on his Instagram shit I'm posting that this year post

not in it oh post and you're not even in it and you're not even in it oh yeah yeah no shit

caption it'd be like that on God died for this died for this oh je no I love jacking with it

activities scenes. I'm like, who cares? Every time. Do the ones in people's yards, like neighborhood yards, I'm like, yo, I'm canon balling into this thing. Literally. Knees to chest. From 2006 to 2008, approximately how many reindeer did you mount in people's front yards? I love those reindeer, bro. And your flannel white shirt with your lanyard swinging around when you run away. I was thermal, bro.

A thermal with Jordan Shorts, a negative 13 degrees. Me just vandalizing Christmas decorations. Time of my life. Like a, like a, like a. Philadelphia Phillies like Christmas themed hat on for some reason. Just Rockies did. Purple Rocky's hat. For no reason.

No significance. Ha ha ha ha. Oh my God. ankle socks. I don't match. What's up? So dumb. Oh my God.

So dumb. It's just such a great. Such a great study into birth order and also Eastern Conference versus Western Conference. Wish I could have a little more Western Conference in me. It's all right. You'll get traded one day, bro. You'll get traded. We're going to make a super team.

There we go. Yeah, but shops that are wild in your hometown. To me, I don't really get that feeling anytime I walk into any shop. It used to be, dude, not a local podcast, but plants galore. I used to walk in there, bro. Where's that? It's not a place anymore. Shout out the Sliffs because, though.

It's good. Oh. They're Christmas Street. They used to have some fire Christmas trees. Wow. Really felt at home when I went in there. I was like, wow, they know us. Maybe they'll give us a, maybe it'll give my mom a discount on some, like, I don't know,

mums or something. Mums. Yeah. Plants galore. Ace Hardware kind of feels like that. When I go into Ace Hardware, I'm like, they know me. They know my family. Hey.

Fusix hardware? Oh, that's a spot. Took me two years to know how to say that. Fusix. Even the signage looks like something for like 1958. I'm like, there's only one of these stores. Mm-hmm. Yep.

When you can tell it's a one of one. Feels good. Played against sports. Same vibe. Shout out Sullivan Hardware. That's the trap, dude. Sullivan Hardware. That's a real deal.

You walk in there, you're like, do I need a membership? Do you need to see my ID? Is there cover? You guys are like playing Polar Express in the back? Like, dude, they, for Christmas, too, they really go crazy. Yeah. we did that a couple weeks ago. I don't remember if I talked about it on this show.

Took the kids on the Sullivan train. It was magical. You buy anything while you're there? Just hot cocoa. I'm always like... Some of the best hot cocoa I've ever had. Unreal. Yeah.

I mean, of course, like, my son wanted to buy everything in there. If I'd be good, Dad, if I'd be good and maybe you get this for me? It's like, okay. Yeah, be good, but no, I'm not good. one at a hardware store. Dude, but that's the beauty of a place like Sullivan is not just a hardware store. It's literally everything. That whole entire toy section.

Really? Nice stuff too. Yeah. Dang. It's like almost with those kind of stores, it makes you think. You're like, man, is my dream for my son to have him play college sports and go on to play major league baseball or is it to have his own like one, maybe they open a second location hardware store.

Or is that our dream? I walk into a place like Sullivan Hardware. I'm like, what am I doing in my life? Right? This is it. You guys got those egg grills? Dang. Everywhere.

Like a hundred of them. Patio furniture back there? Pizza cooking classes? Classes. You're teaching them all of a sudden? Yeah, Joey hasn't posted in a while. What's he doing? He's teaching a pizza course at Sullivan's hardware.

Just toss and dough. Tossin dough with Coach O. I'm like a little tiger right here. You can flip it up. He's not going to that, dude. Guest host, Kuiper. Sullivan. I'm available.

Brand deal, Sullivan Hardware. Mel's best available. Sullivan Hardware cooking classes. Mel's best available. Oh shit. We got any more or we got a... I think it's kind of it. I can dig for one.

I can dig for one. If you got time for one more, then... I just don't want to read one we've already done. Oh my God. This one is so long. I can't read that many words. I'm an idiot. Usually like I don't, I don't open them until I've read them on on air.

Looks like we've kind of gone through. gone through a lot. Yeah. All right. Well, there's your calling guard. Hey, send in emails, though, for the live show. Got to have fat, fat numbers. Ask anything.

We'll read them at the live show. Well, me and Ben will plan more this week. But yeah, like, we'll have different things. But last year, we did, like, submit a question into a helmet. And, like, literally everyone had to show. show did, which was great. But I don't know. I'm kind of feeling like maybe it'd be a good opportunity to get a little

like interaction, you know, like let people actually like get a mic and ask us shit. Oh, passing a mic around. You know? They don't have to talk to Zanis and see if they have like a three a three mic setup or whatever, obviously. But I don't know. I was thinking it could be fun to make it like super, super interactive

and engaging and everything. but either way send emails we're all just going to end up TV's guys at gmail.com we're all just going to end up singing silent night

no questions holy night the stars of brightly shining I'm ready dude dude I can sing I got a good voice dude hey it's not over yet

Christmas is not over yet we're in the thick I think this is Christmas. If you really, if you really think about it, we're in it. And really these guys live is probably it.

Like once these guys live's over, Christmas is over. Sorry about you. On the drive back from Chicago, hate to be the gas station, me and Ben stop in. No shit. Yo,

Captain's sore jaw reporting for duty. Both of us was Zach Thomas Jaw When we get back Just had some gummy worms 14 times 14 different gas stations All right, cool Let's go See you guys at the show

Love you Grab tickets if you haven't Get your jersey I'm about to order one right after this See you guys on the 22nd Team these guys at gmail.com Send the emails whether it's live show Or just being on the show

We love having them Love talking to you guys. These guys, L.O.L. on Instagram. Be sure to follow that. Send us DMs. Love getting them. You know, we post shit that people send us. We post a bunch of stories.

We try to post on there as much as we can. These guys, L.O.L. Good way to interact with us there on Instagram. These guys, L.O.L. on YouTube. Shorts coming out pretty much every day. And, yeah, weekly video episode there. Yes, sir.

All right. Talk to you guys next week. Bye. Dolphins Joey Porter. These guys. Cordell Stewart on the Bears. That's so gross.