THESE GUYS! - Driving With A Michael Myers Mask On

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

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You're following a car, you pass a car in traffic and it has like a leg like in the trunk, like sticking out. I'm like, yeah. I like seeing that like July do though. So, boo? My dog ran away last night. No. No. No.

Dude, dude, dude, did it come back? We got him. God, that would have been so funny if he didn't come back. Ladies and gentlemen, we got them. It's wild when you're done. dog runs away. So it was just a whole series of events. There's always something happening.

At your crib, bro. First of all, TG57, subscribe to us on YouTube. These guys. Email us team of these guys at gmail.com. This guys. Revenue. Tell us who needs a kiss.

Tell us who you want your dad to be. Just say what's up. Oh, I forgot. Any of that. Lee Corso, but anyway. You want him to be your grandpa. Come on. Yeah, that's true.

Pittsburgh. I'm coming for you this week. I'll be there when this episode's live. Tomorrow night I'll be at City Winery. Yeah, tickets are, there's a few left. The tickets are going fast. So get on them why you can if they're still available. City Winery Strip District.

Cannot wait. Going to be there Monday to Wednesday. Going to be all over town. So I can't wait to see ends. But one thing for me to download the CW app. Oh, yeah. Tune into the CW. It's a mission trip.

You see Ben build houses in Africa. Yeah, I like help in the community. And there's a little documentary on the CW this week, this evening. So it's called Benny Builds. Benny Builds houses. Ben the builder. Ben the builder. So check it out.

Should be a good time. Yeah. So I lost my dog for 50 minutes. Best 50 minutes of your life. Man, so we get home from Rye's parents Saturday night. Frank's already asleep. You know, Rye's getting him down upstairs.

I'm doing all the stuff. I'm turning the lights off. I'm locking the doors. You know, you let the dog out because he's been, you know, cooped up. So I let him out.

And he's just super annoying. Like at night, he's just a little fucker. Like he can, you know, he'll run around in the backyard. I'm like, all right,

do your thing. And then he'll come to the back door. And he'll stand to the back door and I'll open the back door. And then he'll do like, he'll back up how dogs do. Fake blitz. And he'll run and then he'll he'll dip out. He'll act like he's coming and then he'll dip out

into his zone. He'll drop back into his zone. He'll drop back into the flat. So he's doing that and I'm like, whatever. So I'm just sitting there like just scrolling on TikTok or whatever, waiting for him to finally be done. Just keep the door open and... No, the door closed because if the door's open and the cats try to get out. Oh my God. I forgot about the cats.

Yeah. But there's only like one active cat in your house. Yeah. He's a little. on, but he, I mean, as soon as the doors open, this guy's coming. Dude, how's, uh, Rocco doing? He's, he's good. He's friends with Frank. They like each other. He'll, like, rub his head on him and everything.

God, love that. Jesus. So I'm sitting there and all of a sudden, Ryan, she's like, the dog. She's like, the dog. I'm like, he's barking. I'm like, I'm sitting against the door. I'm not, I don't hear anything. Oh, no.

And so I open up the door and I go and I peek around the deck and look to see where that front gate is. The gate's just wide open. Okay, bye Oh my God So it's like 10 o'clock I hear happy barking down the street So I go out there

He's like three houses down I go run I'm in my socks I'm trying to like corral him He goes and just pisses in someone's front yard I'm like come on come here right now He sees me He gets done with his leg lift And then he just fucking takes off

Like he's running a 40 yard dash at the combine Are jaysing him? No there's no I mean there's no point He got socks on sometimes you feel fast socks and you're like on concrete no no these are these were like ankle black socks so they're slipping and shit like it was just it wasn't on a right oh yeah you know i got gravelly ass like roads and stuff i mean it's a street but it's like an older street so you know you got it's just you're not i'm not located in like a suburban neighborhood yeah i live in a neighborhood downtown i'm so hood so this

dude just takes off man and i like kind of like job like happy like running you know a little bit And then I'm like, this is pointless. This is going nowhere. I just got to swallow it. I got to let him go. I got to go get in my car and I got to drive around. So I drive around. I'm yelling like rise on the front porch.

She's like trying to make sure he doesn't come back. I have no idea where this dog is, man. It's pitch black. It's a chocolate lab. You can't see him. Happy's like T.TYL. Literally. So I'm rolling around.

I'm going everywhere. I can't find them yelling. Just waking up people probably. I'm like, God, this is terrible. Then, I'm, like, I am in the car for five minutes. A ride is like, well, just got a notification on the Citizens app that there's a shooting three houses down. I'm like, well, good thing that, good thing I'm not there now

because five minutes ago, me and my dumb ass dog were in the front yard. Oh, of course, there's a shooting. So then all of a sudden there's like five cops on our street. Rise like, officer, you guys didn't happen to see a chocolate, lab, did you? He's like, hey, we're kind of taking care of something here. So I'm like, just put it on the, put it on the next door app, you know? I don't know if you know about the next door. So it's like, you have citizens, which is kind of like for like bad shit, but then you have next door that's just kind of like, hey, your neighbor's looking out for each other.

So Rye puts on the next door app about how we have a chocolate lab that ran out and has been gone for like 40 minutes. I'm still driving around. And all of a sudden she says, somebody said they got him and I go and finally they should tell me what their address is he's like three blocks over he just like ran was up on their porch they corralled him got him in their backyard did I wonder I wonder why he went to that house I don't know man but there's there was like a 20 minute stretch I was like this dog is gone he's gone he could go there's there's no way I'm finding him no way it's always fun when you find a random dog though do ever do that growing up we do it now dude I had a the night before that we moved in one of our apartments handful of years ago.

It was the night before we were moving. Our air conditioner had broken. So me and me and Rye were sleeping on like the couch because it was like the coolest area. Like our room was hot as shit. We were moving on like August. A dumb idea. But all of a sudden, it's like three in the morning. We just hear.

New cat. All of our cats are right here. What the hell? And Rye's like, do you think maybe there's one outside? I don't know. Why would that? there be a cat in the hallway of an apartment. Open up the door.

Fucking cat on the welcome mat. Cats do be showing up. Cat distribution system. Had a little cat sleepover. Wow, that's fun. We were taking them in, man. We're like, we don't know who this is. He's here.

He's doing it all right. We called him Leonard. Oh, Lenny. Yeah. It's a nice name. Yeah. So, but then the next day, it turned out someone just was like drunk at like four in the morning and just left their door open and the cat got out.

Dude, cats. So we had to give him back. It was sad. love the hallway. They get real scared, but like the j-pop out of the door and they can't wait then they're got down there. They kind of start pounce in a little bit. They got that little bounce on their step. I'm like, hey, remember that you're like low-key of panther. So like, just do your thing. Yeah. Don't get scared. Rower at us. There's a comedian from Indianapolis that lives on your street. He always tells me, he's like, bro, I live on the same street as Joey. And I'm like, dude,

I was just over there today like filming something. Who is it? His name's Juan Arello. sorry Juan yeah I mean he doesn't he's never said hi to you but he's just like I know he lives on my street I'm not gonna be like knock on his door and be like hey we should hang out sometime but like he just lives on my street

and I'm like that's what's up dude and he's like yeah and he goes they always lose their dog and I was like really hey thanks for helping Juan I'm glad Juan did you get your ass

outside and find his ass with us great observation bud you're using those comedic observation skills pretty well that's the first thing I was like you ever see him like doing videos that's what I ask he's like no but they always lose their dog bro but uh cat distribution system story I had one the other day I thought I was gonna have a cat yeah I do this show you'd be good with a cat I think so too I do the show at a brewery I park at a goodwill next door I do my set or at time

brewery shows are weird huh oh my god I mean, what show isn't weird? And then I go to Goodwill And this car Spirth parks in front of Goodwill Let's a cat out at Goodwill At good like it's a fucking vacuum or some shit And just drives off

Like that But if you're gonna drop off a pet Like I mean The best place to do is probably Goodwill I guess Why don't try the fire station So there's just a cat in front of my car And I'm like this is my cat now

What color was it black? Dude it was sick bro Not like actually careful. We got to be careful with the all black cats. Really? Why? They're particular. I don't know. It was like October. I was like, this is kind of meant to me. What were you going to name it?

I don't even know. I didn't even get that far. And I was like, this is my cat. Shit, this is my cat now. And I like picked it up. And like, how big was it? Dude, it was a little like, it was a baby. I know. Dude, what did you do with it? The bartender at the brewery where I was doing the show like takes care of animals. Like,

she's a rescue or whatever. And there was like a duck in there already. And I was like, because she saved it earlier in the day. There's like a duck at a bar. I'm like, this is the most fucked up. Like this,

that would be a dream I would have. There's a duck at a bar. And I was like, yo, I'm just gonna, there's this cat out here. And I tried to take it in there. But like,

the cat saw a dog and like freaked out. And I was like, I don't know. There's a cat close to the bar just if you see it grab it. But it's probably cool. I wasn't too worried about it. Because cats can like survive,

dude. Yeah. Yeah. They're pretty self-sufficient. Yeah, I was like, it's got it. That's why it would be good for you because half the time

you'd be like, oh, why, I forgot you're here. I forgot I had a cat. Yeah. Happens to me sometimes. Really? Yeah. I got four of them.

Yeah. There's times where I don't see them for like two days. Oh, yeah. They're cool. And then all of a sudden they'll just like hop up on the bed. I'm like, oh, what the hell?

You're still alive? Yeah. Good to see you. You know? Just shit. Not like our dumb ass dog. Oh, dude. Dogs are a...

Yeah, that's a thing, one try having a one year old and having a gate that flies open all the time because of the wind and shit and then having a two year old chocolate lab get going around all over your head spinning this dog is rambunctious as shit wow what a word you have a door that like you know how our front door is it's all wonky and shit and our dog is figured that out he's always like is it locked no yeah so as soon as that door is even remotely there's people around anything's going on he's like this my chance and then he'll slither his way out he's a big big boy he's like 90 pounds he's strong stuff to stop him she's got good hips fast feet yeah good

hands definitely great outside linebacker yeah i was gonna say definite linebacker yeah you know but he he can that's why i told rye last night i was like he's not only very very fast like straight line fast but the dude can change direction quick there was no chance like there was just not a chance in hell that i was going to be able to corral him yeah dog combine it'd be awesome see those dog three cone drill he's so sick hey dog through the gauntlet the ball gauntlet no no it's just frisbees

that deep that deep post they do with the frisbee you know they see how how loose their hips are by just like doing the wrist flip and then having to spin happy happy top 10

yeah happy top 10 of the Colts he's gonna stay in hometown hero happy you see happy he was a dog that got out quite a bit but now he's staying home here we go dude

please do dog milk hyperdraft I did that one time with priests that was funny way back in the day we used to hammer some priest material God I love priest material dude Catholic material stupid

that's the I was thinking about that is everyone Catholic because I feel like everybody knows yeah we talked about it I had the discussion with you for like eight years. I was like, yeah,

we could probably do some pretty funny Catholic stuff you're like, can people know? I was like, I don't know. There's only like two billion Catholics in the world.

But it's like, well, I just realized that even if people aren't Catholic, they still know about Catholic shit. And I'm like, how would you ever? Yeah.

I don't know about Lutheran shit. Right. Yeah, because it's like we know about the Empire State Building because it's in New York. People in New York don't give a shit about Monument Circle.

I thought it was in Chicago, but okay. No, you didn't. You know what I'm saying? Never forget. that's always a that's always a big you know people at my shows so I was just like that Catholic stuff I'm like thanks Tom I appreciate it thanks for coming out um yeah so how was how was season two

or three what are you talking about how was your season two what do you mean it's public knowledge what you're talking about it's public knowledge now season three of what of f1 island uh just gonna have to check it out on cW 8 7 Central Download the app Where was it this time? I was in Greenwood, Indiana You're fucking idiot

It's our last episode Oh, we'll talk We'll talk about it And can't even give location Well, I don't even Because I knew I were I knew you weren't coming into later So I didn't watch the first episode

Oh really? You should, you should, you should I don't fucking care about those guys You gotta get to know the guys I don't fucking care about them Storylines, babe I was in Malibu That's cool

You think I'm lying A little less tropical Yeah A little more A little more in-house I think we're talking about that Like These reality shows

These reality love shows And dating shows They shouldn't be in a place like Aruba They should be like in Detroit I know You want to find love That's gonna last forever Yeah spend three weeks in Motown

here bro I'll I'll tell love in one day I'll test your love yeah dude it's really easy to have the fucking ocean you're waking up to

and go lay on the beach with your toes in the sand I just met this girl at Einstein bagels in love it there come throw your carhart jacket on and get a hot cough hey you want to take a bird scooter

you gotta take a bird scooter from the Colts game to steak and shake that'll see how quickly you want to be with that person for sure run some steps on the monument not the main one the one that's further north a little bit me you a frisco melt that's a finale that we're watching that's some real a midwest reality show we're watching

we could pitch that we could pitch that who's not watching that i mean because we've all we've seen it we've seen the the the arubas and the caribians and the miami's and the malibu like okay cool yeah everybody gets to have their clothes off for a month and you get to It's a... Because it's always something island. Yeah. The name works. You got to, you know, you get to be on a boat and you get to do all that shit in the fucking wilderness.

Okay, cool. That's not real. Yeah, it's, you're on a honeymoon. Everybody loves the honeymoon. That's great TV. But yeah, to be relatable, it should be like, yo, let's go to Top Golf. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

The ultimatum fishers. I don't know. What's that? the ultimatum's on Netflix you're allowed to talk about competing no I just don't watch TV yeah I thought it was a new restaurant Fisher's the ultimatum I was like I'm going

to that after this uh huh no I'm just saying that's the ultimatum that's the location fishers yeah that'd be sick you know F boy not F boy island F boy F boy suburb

F boy F boy F boy F boy farmhouse there is a shit like that Of course I was sitting next to a girl on the plane She's like I'm going on a reality show She was really hot And I was like there's no way you're a real person She's like I'm going on a reality show

And I was like okay Yeah checks out She already knew who you were No How did this conversation come about then? She said something to me And I was like I can't remember how it started

But And I was just like Oh shit I was just on one And she was like, what a coincidence. I know, I know. I mean, what are the odds? On the flight. Oh my God.

Actually, though. And she's like, I'm on, it's called like, it's called like farm something. And I'm like, they have that. Oh, yeah. It's on Fox. Yeah. Oh, shit. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's. But whoever you are. Rutan ya on, babe. The, the bat. No. See, because the bachelor.

I love you. They already have The Bachelor everything. I'm trying to think of it. We got to come up with like a new title. That's like you said, just like Greenwood. Go to Jocamo's pizza. And we go to the library.

Go to an open mic? Yeah. She doesn't get one laugh. We're done. Oh yeah. Those brewery shows are always so funny. It's like Tuesday night, trivia night.

There's like people there for that and you're just over there fucking talking about your ass. Those are the best, though. The people that don't know that there's a comedy show about to happen. I'm like, you guys are so fuck. Oh, man. The looks you get.

I used to be so embarrassed. Like the first year I did comedy. I was like, fuck, dude. We're just going to like annoy these people and ruin their dinner. Now I'm like, now you thrill or laugh. Right next to their table.

Dude, the Jim Carrey Ace Ventura just talking with your ass right there in front of them. They're talking about whether or not they want Keith. You're just like, excuse me. May I ask you of your questions? Yeah. Like, you're doing Ace Ventura and you're like, yeah, kind of. Sorry, I got three messages from, yeah. It's going on.

Happy's gone again. We see him walking down the street. Do my ditty-de-ditty. Happy's a good boy. Yeah, it's like the Lion King when he's there. And I just can't wait to run away. Wands just across the street. I'm just like, yeah.

Man, you know what I'm already tired of. What? People dressing up as Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey for Halloween. Oh, man. See, there's always one that you know you're going to put a gun in your mouth when you think of it. Like every year that's like everybody's going to be that. Right. I mean, how are these people doing this and they're like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, uh, yeah.

It's a be a hit. It's going to be a hit at your party. Like, bro. Those are the people that you just know. You know, those are the people that you automatically hate. Like, you know, like, I knew I didn't like you. You solidified it. It's like, I'd rather you have worn a t-shirt that just says Halloween costume on it.

You know, because those guys are always like. I hate those guys. And you got to act like it's funny, too, because, you know, they'll take it so serious. Like, what if you were super real with them? Why don't you fucking try a little bit, Tyler? Piece of shit, dude. Oh, yeah, it's always a Tyler. So I don't fuck with you, Tyler.

What'd you think of an idea for once? Oh, ha ha. Kick him out. Wow. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's the case. That's just how I would laugh at it. To the point where they're like, oh, okay, actually, yeah, this was not as good.

I do hate people that do that, but. Halloween's tough. Really, though? get so many options. It's when you're being forced to go somewhere. Like, if I have a good Halloween idea, I will go to every party. Yeah. And I will be proud.

But if I'm like, I just don't have it this year. And then somebody makes you go to a party, it's like, like, I always had to, I always had to like really think of two costumes every year. One for me that would bang and one for Chiller. Because he's like, I'm not doing this. That's what I was saying. I don't know. I didn't want to do that.

Huh? I know, bro, I know. I know. Love them. Yeah, that makes sense.

That friend, that you can't understand. That friend that... You gotta say what to seven times. That friend that you're just, if they want to show the slightest bit of effort for any holiday,

you're like, oh my God, yes, thank God, finally. You literally want to give them a hug. Yeah. Come here.

Can you actually want to dress up? You don't just want to wear a basketball jersey? Damn. All right, cool. This is going to be fun. This is going to be fun this year. Then you hype it up too much. And then it's awesome.

Then he's like, I don't think I'm going. You're like, you have face paint on. You're like, face paint in a weird, weird like yellow afro. Are you really not going? Bro. Come on. Can't get mad at him because he'll get mad at you more.

Come on. Come on. Bro, come on. Come on. us. Just start dragging it to us. Bro. Did you ever do that to your parents growing up?

I feel like your parents would have just fucking smacked you this shit out of it. I might have got one in. What are you talking about? Like if you really wanted, you know, like on a Friday night, if you like really wanted to get a video game from Blockbuster

and they just were not doing it. I'd start doing shit around the house. I'd be like, what do you want? You want me to, I'd just start vacuuming. Good for you. You went like the productive route. No, dude, if I complain, it was over.

I think, yeah, I just kept doing like this. My approach, which sucks, it was really annoying, and I shouldn't have gone about it this way. But I just was like the wear down method. Wow. I'm just going to wear you down. Bro, my mom would have cut my fucking head off if I would have done that. It's a battle the wills.

And I ain't stop until I get into CIO6. Oh, I did do that sometimes. But my parents would, uh, if they're, would have given in to that, then I would have felt bad. Like, I just inconvenience them for like four hours. Yeah. I don't even want to play this game. I was like, damn.

Did you feel like... I was like that worked? Ew. Did you feel like you have to play that game? Like, I don't even like this shit. Yeah. Like, even tomorrow the next day. I'm still playing it.

Right. Yeah. Because they didn't get it just the one day because that would have been too inconvenience to return it the next day. It's like, all right, we're doing it for the weekend. Who was doing that shit? One night. Fuck you.

you're crazy like we're gonna forget anyways might as well just do the whole weekend oh that family video rental keep that thing for two and a half months this thing's mine bro no dude they did not care i still have a family video DVD my backseat fucking rolling around sure austin powers i mean that's a collectible now family video there's still a couple up yeah but i mean like that's so crazy that I was just thinking about that whole process that how quickly there's an entire generation who have never and will never

experience that and we were part that like that was a huge thing for us going to that line the video store like actually doing you know now because now it's just there like you're scrolling

you're finding what you want to watch on the different apps and everything the different streaming services and you're just doing it with your remote what is this? I don't know we have to take it fucking do the back look and read the whole synopsis. There's three pictures on the back, dude.

I didn't read one word. What is this about? Okay, they, all right, Tom Cruise wants to help identify who the last living person will be in the year 20. I don't know. You know, like, and then you put it down and then you go on to the next one. You stay away from the scary stuff, you know. Because you're a little scared to that aisle. Yeah.

If there's one that's like beer fest with like some tities on it, you're like, wait, you know, hopefully mom was helping out your sister on the other. side of the store. Oh my God. Dude, that's some first boner shit right there. Yeah. Like, that was a whole thing, man. That was a whole entire night. That was a whole process. And like, my son's never going to even know. That's so foreign to him. It's so foreign to my youngest sister. He's 21. He's like, what? You just did that? I, uh, I don't think I really went with my parents too much. But, like, I'd go with my friends. God, going to Blockbuster with your dad, sounds like the biggest nightmare ever.

No, my dad was kind of down for that shit. Like, my dad was kind of like... I just would have always felt rushed. Like, he kind of be like lounging, like, kind of just like creeping around like the front, you know? It's like, do we have to check out? Okay, I'll snag something here. That's the cool thing about Coach P though,

because like when you think it's going to be the worst, sometimes he's like into it. And you're like, what? It's like on some bipolar shit almost. You're like... So you? So, yeah. So I'm like, oh shit.

So you're like having fun. He's like, get some can. And you're like, what? Like, it's like crazy. It's like him with Christmas. Yeah, it's like you would never think my dad would be so down for Christmas. But like right now, he's thinking about it. Uh-huh.

He's thinking about it. Like, I never, I will never forget that moment when you're like, dude, me and my dad, I was like, here it comes. Like, they're like, they don't even put up a Christmas. So predictable. Yeah. And I was like, this is going to really suck because I love Christmas so much. And they're just like, we fuck with Christmas so much.

Heavy. What? Heavy. He's like, dude, my dad. Like, he's the only reason I talk to my dad has like Christmas carols on. I was like, you're fucking lying right now. Isn't that crazy? Still can't believe.

I still kind of like need proof, I think. Like I need to just like, you don't even have to be there. No, just hit up coach people. I'd be like, can I come like verify that this is a like on December 9th? Like, are you really doing it like this? Bro, bull season. Oh, God. Bull season.

What's it called the? Capital one, Bull Mania. The wreath is up. We got the garland. Is that what it's called? Ireland. Sounds like a DB's last name and also the decoration for Christmas. It's up, dude.

Santa stuff everywhere. Trees, two trees. Just watch. Doing like a tree in the front room, tree in the main room. Watching. How about those?

Bowling green and who? Northern Illinois. Oh, wait, no, same conference? Yeah, they're Mac.

No, but for bowl games, don't they usually? Oh, bowl games. Oh. So it would be bowling green and like a sub. Western Kentucky. Still a little too close. What's like an exotic team on the Western Kentucky level? Bowling.

Like a Florida, like a Georgia State or some shit. Bowling green and Florida International. Ooh, I'm watching. Who's not watching that? Bowling. Who's not watching that? The colors. Bowling green and U-TEP.

You think they match them up because of the colors? Sometimes I think that. I'm like in what world's LSU plan Purdue? if it wasn't for the colors. What a dream job. Top three dream job for me. Just to be on like the bowl committee that just select like,

dude, I bet that's, I guarantee that's, you're on the bowl committee one year. Dude, I swear to God. Like, I'll put my life on that.

I don't even know who's in that. No, when you're like, when you're like 72. Oh man. And you're just like, you're just the king of college football. And I'm just,

yeah. Because you're going to be on game day one day. Yeah. We'll see. I think so. But then you'll just like, dude, you'll have such a big.

impact that you're going to be on the bowl committee. Only uniform matchups. But sir, we have to do the kind. Only uniform matchups. Yep. Mm-hmm. Or random funny ones that should play in like the potato bowl. Okay.

Good. Yeah, but my dad is a Christmas bitch. Mm-hmm. It's coming. For the folks new to the clubhouse over the past year. Maybe new to espresso. Yeah. That should just be the show title once it switches to November.

is just holiday whores. Oh, we're in the game. But my dad won't, Coach Pee won't get excited for Christmas. Like, he'll get excited for Halloween. Like, he's, dude, you don't have been noticing.

He's in the game. A lot more Halloween decorations. Have you seen me yet? Oh shit. We're supposed to be dressed up in Halloween costumes today. No, it's next week.

Okay, okay, okay. All right. Because I was really looking forward to that. Because that episode will come out on Halloween. I just never know the date. Thank you. No.

But you kind of scared me for a second, too. but no, we're getting ahead of it. It's going to be in traffic. Boo. Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. There's a lot more Halloween decorations, though, now. Like, when I went to my in-laws,

when I got my parents, dude, everybody's got giant cotton cobwebs. Everybody has a bunch of inflatables of, like, Jack Skellington and, like, the fucking, Oh, those are, pocus sisters. Because of TikTok. Dude, those are everywhere. Those skeletons that you can, like, Oh, yeah.

And they don't break? I'm like, this is great. I love it. I'm like, let's go, dude. Let's make this fucking Halloween town. Let's make it Halloween Town 3. Yeah. I want to like it.

Every window I see, I just want to see a tarantula on it. Tarantula or like a Sammy Terry, like ghost face, like kind of peeking into the corner or something. I love that, dude. When you like, you're following a car, you pass a car in traffic and it has like a leg like in the trunk, like sticking out. I'm like, yeah. I like seeing that like July do, though. Dude, the amount that I just want, I bought a new Michael Myers mask,

so I have two. Bro, I don't. I'll tell you the dumbest shit I've ever done after this. Cool. Can't wait. The amount that I just want to fucking drive around with my Michael Myers mask on. But Riley would never let me.

Huh? Do it anyway. Not a chance. Hey, you're getting a wreck. How'd you getting a wreck? I can't talk because I got my Michael Myers mask on. What happened? Were you texting and driving?

Dude, I love, like, so this next week is going to be able to look you back in the car. You're in the back seat. You know, it always moves around. You're outside by a fence. This upcoming week is going to be a huge week for, like, you know how I fucking love like football commercial transitions. Like when they're going to break and shit. And they show that they go in the crowd And there's a guy

The fucking bloody scream mask on Monster Mesh is playing We'll be back after the break Some guy We do the balls Michael Myers is just staring at the camera Michael Myers is just staring at the camera That is the best part

There's like another dude who didn't dress up But he's just a football fan And Michael Myers just staring right there The announcer has to make some comment on it You know That's the bad Tiger defense getting spooked Their offense will try to

Make a slash like Michael Myers some comment on this lion's defense is cut throat we'll be back after the break scream in the crowd with a fucking I was talking

that's hey a little night I fucking love that song dude I know they did that much it's literally 14 minutes long

I'm like keep going why I stop at 14 constantly playing everywhere you're trick or treating it's just on like no house is playing it it's just like the collective sound cloud

in the sky is just playing Monster Mesh forever and it's always the part it's either the The Monstermash

Or it's the very beginning where he's like I was walking in the Hager laid one night I don't even know that part I just know the first part It was like a graveyard snow

Dude Best song ever How about They're being like just 98 songs for Christmas and just one for Halloween. Yeah, if you look up a Halloween playlist, man, people are really grasping the strolls. Yeah, Thriller and Monster Match. The Halloween theme. That is cool to play though.

Oh, yeah. Dude, you go to that house in your trick-or-treating. Kind of scared. Are these people going to kill me? Yeah, man. They deserve to. I hated like the weird candy bowl that was always like Should we be talking about this?

Are we wasting all of our content for next week? Bro, We can keep going to all year around anyway. It gives a shit. But the candy bowl that's just like in the rocking chair with like somebody holding it And you're like, Is that a person or like a thing they got from Hobby Lobby? You know?

And I'm like, I kind of don't want to. I'm like, dad, can you? Can you get the Hershey bar? I'll fuck ready. You want it be, you grab it. And you're like, fuck. Okay. Dude, there's a TikTok.

It's so funny. I hate to be TikTok. So funny guy, but it is. It's this mom and she's filming her kids and that exact situation's going on. And here's this, you don't know if it's like a real person or a fake one on the porch. And she's filming her kids go up there and they're real hesitant. And the mom, she starts kind of freaking out. And she's like, get your candy.

Get your candy. And it just cuts off. the dude moves. Oh no. Yeah, that's so good. Send the link. I will.

What's the dumbest thing you ever did? I bought a screen mask for $300. Oh, man. That better have actual blood coming out of it.

No, no, I wish. But it's the one where he's smiling and I couldn't find it. I couldn't find it anywhere. I couldn't find it anywhere.

Dude, the smiling one, like on scary movie. Yeah. Where he's like kind of high. Yeah. I'm like, that's the best face.

That's the best face. That's the best. Best face. Dude, that's awesome. And then I got scammed. And so I just gave someone $300 for nothing. Oh, no. And then I had to find another one that was $175.

Wow. So I spent around $500 for one mask. Holy shit. But I'm cool with it. I mean, it's worth it for sure. I got to scroll all the way through all my likes. Damn, man. I want to find this right now and play it, but it's going to be tough.

He didn't even listen to my story because he's looking on his phone. and now I'm embarrassed because I spent a lot of money out of masks and he doesn't care either you're out 475 It's okay I don't care anymore

Dude I was trying to find it You could have done it after I don't care anymore God damn it Oh my God So Molnard minute I'm just kidding bro But don't be mad at me

Okay Well do you have the mask Oh yeah It's not on me But like it's You know it is So it's in your possession Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Rice kind of mad because her and Frank, she's going as like a zookeeper and Frank's going as a kangaroo and I'm just going as Michael Myers. That's what's up. Stuck to your guns, baby. Got a new mask and actual like overalls. The Navy one? Navy? Yeah, oh yeah. Hell yeah.

That shit goes hard. That was the coolest thing. I went to a Colts Patriots like two years ago around Halloween. And they were just like seven Michael Myers in the crowd and they didn't have zero emotion. Dude, Jonathan Taylor fucking all the way to the crib To win the game Michael Myers

That's a bad Walk off 70 yard touchdown run Michael Myers You gotta stay in character When the mask is on man I was like yes You're no longer who you are You're the shape now

I asked him to get in a picture with me And he acted like he was gonna kill me I was like he'd get in a picture He's like Did he tilts? Yes he tilted his house like Oh my God He was eyeing you up man

I know He was trying to see he's going to slash you or joke you. Have you seen any of the Halloween movies? Just that one where the girl goes to like call 911 and the dude's tongue goes through the phone. You know what I'm talking about Freddie? No, I was talking about like the how like Michael Myers Halloween. Oh no.

Oh, dude. I think you like them. I've just seen like weird scary movies like insidious and shit. That'll mess you up. That'll mess you up. I'll mess you up. I have a pizza. dude I had pizza last night

It was so good That's all I was thinking about last night Was pizza It was from a place too That wasn't it wasn't like chain Mom and Pop shop Yeah It's called like gumboleys or something

It was really good Was it like What it looked like It was party cut Yeah A little flatter Mmhmm Love that

Yeah Except for you don't eat Like the four pieces In the middle Ever You gotta have the crust What are you grabbing onto You just fucking

I think it's so Okay Hot lunch pizza Right Just a square Had pepperoni, sausage, banana peppers, and mushrooms on it. That's a pizza night. Dude, it was awesome.

It was a lot of fun. How was Hannah Burner, by the way? It was a lot of fun. It was good, dude. I didn't know I was doing that show until like 20 seconds before. I was like, you want a coffee? She's like, yeah. I just got a coffee and just went in.

I walked in and was like walked on stage. I was like, this is how it should always be. How much time did you do? 15 nice yeah it was fun you and pop tarts and burner fire

fire crowd just run an indie yeah the indie show our pop tarts started it introduced me I went on it's dude it's fun

it's fun being in the spot I was in because you're just there to get that to get it turn bro yeah the opener that's stuff because everybody's cold

everybody's like what the fuck is this People are still walking in trying to find their seats. Right, yeah. But yeah, you get that middle spot. And then you can just be, you can be fucking. Right. It was a big fucky time.

And I was able to introduce Hannah, which was cool. Yeah. Right before I got and she's like, introduced me. And I was like, damn. Did you just, what was the intro? What did you say? I just read, like, does she have like a direct one that's like, nah.

No, I was like, what do you want me to say? And she's like, just go off. And I was like, okay. Nice. seems cool cool all right let's get into some mail time here

as Ben gets into his second coffee I saw those as I was getting mine I was like do I just take him and tell him like I don't know I don't want to mess with it but anyways this is from Travis question louis what's up guys got a question coming at you this past weekend my cousin got married

and two thoughts kept running through my head the first was ha ha ha ha ha let's get fucked up yeah oh my god I forgot about that and the second was this DJ is playing some bangers What is the one wedding song that as soon as you hear it, drop everything and hit the dance floor? Mine has always been the Cupid shuffle.

That is a good one. Aim me upside down and slap my ass exactly 33 times while I watched 2009 Pierre Garcone highlights. Oh my God. What a year. That face mask. Bro, can we talk about how good the endings are? Yeah.

Oh. Hey, but Andre Iguadala highlights. Just watch them. What a career for that guy. Jeez. the Andre Iguidal a walk. Remember that took over social media for like a week back in 2015? He was in the finals and he did that like weird walk.

Anyways, look that up. Song to get you on the dance floor at a wedding. Bro. I'm going dancing queen. Yeah, you do love that song. I was going to say it, but I was like he's going to say it. It is the perfect wedding song, man. Dancing queen.

Everybody, it's the happiest everybody's ever going to be in their life. you could not want to be there at all. You could be the boyfriend of a bridesmaid who you don't really know people there. But that song comes on. You're four beers deep. You're out there. It's a movie.

I think if they, if they, I know, I hope everybody's in on this if they do it. But I know I will be if they play like a Backstreet Boys song or like an in sync song. Yeah, like a hitter. I'm like, I'm like, this is it for me.

This is the one. Mm-hmm. Maybe, like, it's one of those songs. Because I know, like, three Backstreet Boys in sync dances. If it's one of those, like, I'm doing the dance. Yep. I know that I ain't no more. It ain't no like.

How about two kind of cliche throwbacks? Shout. You know, you make me want to shout. Nah, I kill myself. Yeah, my hands up and shout. No, my hands I can shout. But I will do a. Oh, oh.

Yeah. And then I'll probably stop. and then play that funky music white boy. Those seem like they're, they're playing them to get the, to get warmed up. Oh, yeah. Those are the warm up songs.

You're kind of still finishing up your food. You're like, we got to get out there. You're getting out there. You're getting phomo. Sorry, guys. I got a, this one's calling my name.

It's like a dad and like his daughter out there. They're the only ones. And you're like, pro, this shit's about to go off. It, yeah, it gets, it hits. It's a bunch of different generations, so it gets everybody out there, you know? You're having a piece of chicken with Alfredo sauce on it for some reason.

You're like, dude. Some weird beef that's kind of cold. And you're like, I don't really know. I'm definitely getting Taco Bell after this. Oh. Bro, I swear that's half the reason I do anything is the food after. Yeah. I used to only go to concerts because I was like Taco Bell on the way.

I'm going to slap. Man. I've had a resurgence of Taco Bell recently. What are you getting? Just like four chicken casidias. Oh my God. that's what I do. Dude, they're so good.

Just, I just want to slap it on my face. Just, every time. Just wear it. Like, fucking. You're one of I mask? Your wife has on like the fucking things under her eyes.

Yeah. And like one of the, yeah, I just have a, I just got the cassidia, bro. And a Baja blast. And just fucking slap that shit on there. Dude, I do.

I do want to do that. You know how people are hitting each other in the face of tortillas? I just want to do that with a chicken cassidia. Fuck, good. And they just eat it after. Yeah.

God. Yeah. I just love the triangle that has no chicken in it, but you eat it anyway. Mm-hmm. Like they forgot to spread it out. And it's just, yeah, you're like whatever. Four chicken cassidias. And then sometimes I get a crunch rap just because I'm like, yeah, you got to throw in a little

something else, you know. It's jazz it up. A little something. Yeah. You're like, is this real Taco Bell? I got to get, yeah. Um, fuck. Yeah.

But then you have like the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, Girl, the way you're moving, got me with the head. Oh, yeah. That comes on and it clears out all the old people. Maybe you got like the father of the bride who's like, oh, oh, oh, Steve. Oh, Mr. Hudson's getting it. But you're like, does he know this song? I think he's just doing a default dance.

Your moment's up. All right. You got it out of you. Yeah. But then that comes on and that's a big one. Everybody's losing their mind. Listen to the tracks, bitch. All right.

From Will. First NFL jersey you ever had. Hey, Jen. Greetings from Louisville. I've been listening to you all since day one. I've loved every minute of it. It reminds me of hanging out with my buds. Y'all rock.

Keep up with the good work. Thanks. My question, what was the first NFL jersey you ever got? Mine was a Marshall Fogg, St. Louis Rams jersey. Wait, I wonder what color it was. Dude was an absolute beast.

All my friends gave me crap for not getting a McNabb or Peyton Manning jersey, but I didn't give a fork. Chee. Oh, yes. Slap my ass and call me Colonel Sanders. This guy. Yeah, that was a pop.

popular one man. I vividly remember quite a few my friends had the Navy blue Rams Marshall Falk jersey. Nobody had the Royal and yellow. No, those two. It was before our time when we could get jerseys. And he was really popping off too with the Navy and gold. That was a good jersey. I didn't really see a lot of people with it because I think everybody had, you know, because he left the Colts. Yeah. I think a lot of people, you know, if you're like, Dad, I want a Marshall Falk jersey, they'd be like, no, he's a traitor. Mine was a white Eddie George Tennessee Titans. Crazy. Followed by a red falcons Michael Vick. Crazy life you lived.

Oh my God. What a fucking baller. You were so popular. Pretty much everybody had the red Mike Vick, though. Like the Christmas of 2002 or three, I think. Dude, I don't, for some reason I only got Colts jerseys. And I got a Charles Woodson from Valley City. somehow.

Like the biggest deal ever. That's so weird to me because you're so like, just you don't really have a like a 18, you know, you're kind of just like everywhere. I think you'd be the one that would be having. I know, but I couldn't.

Jason Williams jersey. They were expensive and my mom wasn't falling out like that. Like, I got a Peyton man. Not even for like birthday? Like a little birthday. She would have got me the wrong one. I would have like sent the link,

you know, go in the store, turn right. They're right there. Like in the mall next to Victoria's Secret. at the store next to them, they have that jersey. And she would have got me something completely different from Value City. Like, Mom!

Circle the, circle the exact jersey you want in the East Bay magazine. Never getting it, though. Dude, I would have had to... So you just had Colts ones? Yeah, like, my dad would pick one up from the store. Like, my dad thinks all the jerseys are the same. Like, he'd get the one with, like, the horseshoe right here. I'm like, they never...

That's not their real jersey, dude. Like, quit get me the Coles jerseys, Doug. like I can't walk around with this shit. Yeah. But one time he fucked around and bought a real one. And it was my, it was the Payton Manning. I actually saw it at my dad's garage yesterday.

And I was like, holy shit, I fit into this. And Peyton Manning signed the back of it one time when we went to like his rookie year. My dad had like tickets to like their training camp. And he's like signing shit. And I was like,

oh my God. I was wearing a Peyton Manning jersey. I was like, can he sign my jersey? He did. It's crazy. That's cool. my mom fucking wash it and the permanent marker came out. And I was like, God damn it.

Of course, dude. Amy, Amy, Amy. All right. From Thomas. TikTok of the 90s, early 2000s. Remember the good old days, the days in middle school sleeping over at a friend's house, staying up late on the family computer and getting on to stumble upon? Great mixture of mini-clip games and the random risque weird anime pictures that you and your

friends made fun of, but secretly you started to touch cloth. Great times. Anyways, tie my shoes together, push me down the hill and slap my ass until it's blistered. Love you. God. I don't remember that for a little bit. I might have been before me. A girl put me on StumbleUpon.

Was this like E-Bomb's world? It was like some funny random shit like that, yeah. Stumble upon. I didn't really go in. Yeah, you had to, you had to, man. And that was, you know, that again, kids today won't know. But like you were on your friend's parents' like home computer, just completely fucking it up. On like a Friday night at 2A.

Bad. Bad. And everybody got their own phone and they can just scroll on TikTok. It's not really doing anything besides stealing your information. And... Man, the kid with a good computer. That was fun to go to his house.

Kid with a good computer and the good location. It was all about the location. Yeah, he's got a... Kevin's got an office. He's got a computer in the back corner of the basement? In the office with a door. And his parents don't go down there. His parents ain't coming down there ever.

And if they do, we can like hear it. And his mom like is like cool with it too. She's like, are you guys good? Like she gets it. Just fucking see you. From Ryan. So many questions. So little time.

Love the show. Love the content. Have so many questions that I'd love to hear your opinion on. But in light of recent events, I'm narrowing down to three. So pick whatever you want to answer. One, born and raised in San Diego moved away. Now hate the charges because they moved. They have no fans in LA.

Was a Chargers super fan lady on Monday night football. Plant. Two, will the QB era of Breeze Rivers Brady, Manning, Manning, Rafflesberger, Rogers ever be topped. Three, top three sports video games pre-2010. Wrap me and bacon, stub me with cream cheese, bake me at 375 for 20 minutes and slap my ass into the cosmos. Whoa. God, I want cream cheese right now.

I'm going to go with number three here. What do you say? Top three sports video games pre-2010. Oh, that's crazy specific. I'm going to go NBA Street Volume 2. I'm going to go NCAA O-S. six with Desmond Howard on it. And I'm going to go

MVP baseball 2005. No, Madden 2004. Crazy pick. Madden 2004. SSX tricky. Yep, yep, yep. That was like on the fringe. I was like, I know it's snowboarding, but is it sports? NFL Street, Volume 1. Running on the walls and shit a little too much for me.

And then, damn. And his, my favorite game ever was NHL hits, man. Yeah, you're big on the NHL hits. Bro, it was so much fun. Checking people through the glass three on three? Oh, my God. Did you...

Is iterman! Would you turn off like the turbo thing so you could just constantly be... I think you... No, I didn't. I just played by the rules. Oh, wow. But, I mean, it was fun. It was like an arcade game.

So, like, it wasn't like, oh, man. Like, there's always something happening. From Sam. Could I make this the last one. Hey guys, a long time clubhouse member here. I love when y'all talk about random 2000s football players. And in the spirit of the postseason, I wanted to know, what are some of your top random 2000s baseball players?

Come to Oklahoma and I'll wear my Ryan Terrio Cubs jersey. Hard double in the gap, wave me home and slap my ass hard as I round third. 2000s baseball players? Yeah. Dude, Nick Swisher. Oh. Hey, Jeff Bagwell. Eric Burns.

um Eric Chavez A's for some reason Come into mind Ian Kinsler Uh damn I don't know any of those guys Chipper Jones

Yeah Whose sister didn't like Chipper Jones Raphael for call I don't know any of these people This guy will These guys will Uh

The pitcher who wars had sideways I was like dude It's cool as fuck Don't Trail Willis I was like, bro. He's a prime time pitcher. Shit, yeah, got through the entire Cubs lineup from like 2003, 2008, if we want. Won't do it, though.

He said Ryan Terrio, you got Mike Font now, second base double play partner. 2003, how about Scott Pesednik? We're getting warmer. How about Jeremy Burnett? I like that. Who do you play for it? I believe he was on the Rockies and the White Sox for a little bit. Such a Rockies name.

The Pirates too, maybe? There's somebody. Oh, God. Carlos Delgado. Nomar Garcia Parra. Oh, yeah. Dude. Jason Veritech.

Oh, sick last name, dude. Oh, oh, God. Keep them coming. It's the white guys for me. Dude. Yeah, like I said. You got Mark Gretzelonic, second baseman for the Cubs in 2003.

Cory Patterson. I'm just trying to think all the guys that were on web gems. That Scott Van Pell would say their name three times every sports center. Craig Beggio, Lance Berkman. It's good. Yeah, it could be me for 18 hours. We got a couple of hours. We're out of time.

All right, cool. Yeah, next week, Hollywood. Wow, cool. And then we're a holiday horse. So Pittsburgh, I'll be, I'm in town now, but I'll be at City Winery Wednesday night. I think the show starts at 8. I love to see you out there.

It's going to be fun. Saving the best for last there. Yeah, just a bunch of a fucking. Hats off hot boat. Cool. So subscribe, follow us. This guy looks like Jerry Rice out there. Anything else, man?

8-7 Central, CW. 8.7 Central. That means 8 o'clock Eastern, 7 o'clock central time. Download the app to CW app and watch F Boy Island. Season 3. Okay, cool. Season 3. Right.

Not if, I don't know if I'm on it or not, but just watch it. Okay. For the culture. Surprise. Surprise. Yeah. All right. These guys.

Love you. Peace. Peace. Peace.