THESE GUYS! - drunk chyucks
Episode Date: September 10, 2024This week the burpy boys talk about how New Hampshire is catfishing us🍻 THESE GUYS! TOUR COMING SOON💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS (on CW APP)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨�...��𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Austin - Oct 10 https://www.capcitycomedy.com/shows/254523San Diego - Nov 7 https://www.micdropcomedy.com/shows/264571Buffalo - Nov 14 https://buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254521Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572Portsmouth - Jan 25 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/comedian-benedict-polizzi-at-cisco-brewers-portsmouth-tickets-907715289867🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?
Transcript
Discussion (0)
That's true, but I never am because sports are my life.
And that's next week on Clubhouse Inside Baseball.
Dude, what is this?
Not bad for a fat guy.
TG 100.
Whoa!
100.
What a milestone.
Green 80!
Sorry, I've been working on that.
What's up?
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
100, bro.
That's awesome.
100 Epps.
Never thought we'd do it, honestly.
Right?
I thought we do it.
Right?
After we stopped doing our pod initially, I was like,
I might never,
I might never do that again.
But going strong.
Like it.
Like it a lot, dude.
And the fact that it's not a sports podcast, too,
it's just so perfect.
There's just, you know,
there's just so many of those out there.
And, yeah, the fact that you can get two guys together
one in their basement,
one in
who knows,
a closet of some sort,
who knows.
And they don't talk about sports
and they don't reminisce
on stories that people weren't there for.
And they've been doing it for 100 episodes
and it's really just great, you know?
And so all kudos to the folks who listen
in the clubhouse because you get it.
You know,
you get it.
They,
the clubhouse understands.
And the fact that we've had a hundred episodes
and we haven't mentioned Christmas.
once amazing.
It's pretty tough to do,
even around the holidays, you know.
So shout out to the clubhouse for sticking around because,
God,
you know,
I mean,
me and Ben,
we used to say this seven,
eight years ago,
you know,
who's listening?
Who's listening to that?
Dude,
who is,
who's listening or watching this?
Just the clubhouse full of idiots,
dude,
love it.
Who cares?
the amount of times clubhouse back of the day and it would still probably be this way if
you know we lived in the same city uh but the amount of times where we would be going back
and forth over a video of some sort or just an idea of anything and ben would just go
i mean who's watching that so who's buying every day
the fucking watching that who's buying this that you've come to know and love from benedict on
line. That was taking place about seven years prior, all in the form of who is even going to watch
or listen to us. It haunts me to this day. Hey, can I push takeies real quick?
Austin Tech's, October 3rd is coming up. San Diego, November 7th, Buffalo, November 14th,
back to back. Phoenix, December 5th, December, whoa, we should like talk about December,
maybe.
And then New Hampshire, January 25th.
That'll be fun.
Come out.
Bennypolicey.com for your tics.
Glad you're going there
because I still don't think it's real.
I don't think it is either.
I think it's a whole fake.
I'm like, what is it?
How is there even an airport?
Right.
That's just like a land of area
that the United States government owns
that they just like put things.
That New Hampshire is like the United States.
it's drunk drawer or like their closet.
I kind of think they're just like you're cleaning it up.
People are coming over,
clean it up.
You're just like,
I love playing that game.
As a dad of two and a married man,
I love playing the old is our house clean or we just shove everything into a closet?
It's a weekly thing.
But yeah,
that's kind of New Hampshire.
And I know it's,
I've seen the pictures.
It's gorgeous.
I know it's got great landscape,
but who's living there?
You can make anything look good on the internet.
I'm sure New Hampshire's catfish in us.
That's true.
Show us a body of water with a bridge.
Every city ever.
Oh my God,
it's beautiful.
Shut up, dude.
Every city ever.
I'm pretty sure there's still like pilgrims there.
I don't know.
But I'm coming.
Mommy.
Shut up.
My ass.
I'll push a little some just,
I don't have tickets to push right now,
but I will push that if you aren't a user,
on draft kings and if you like to gamble on sports um sign up download the draft king sports book up
sign up use my code joey j-o-e-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
every time sometimes you don't know what you're going to get all right code joey j-o-e-y-dice-bets and
you get another deal coming later this week that's draft king sports book so you could do that
also been posting some new impressions, been posting some new stand-up clipies.
So if you could go engage, show those love, you know, leave a comment, what you like,
and maybe share it or something.
That'd be a great honor.
That'd be a great honor.
I'd be doing doing to me a favor.
So appreciate that a lot.
Dude, I think for the comments on the YouTube on the pod last week were if you comment
on any of our videos ever, no matter what it is, and you just say,
Wayne Krabet.
Love you.
Yeah.
People really took that to heart.
I appreciate people really listening to doing that.
Nothing better in this entire world than that.
So thank you so much,
Clubhouse.
Love you for real.
But again,
we'll remind you when we're getting all this technical shit out front.
Like I always say,
like we always say,
five, ten people send the show,
hey, drop this in.
They just talk about Brad Farr,
they talk about whatever the fuck they want to every week.
They're fun.
We like them.
We want to go have a beer with
them, a foam-ass beer, hit to subscribe, comment,
red, red, right?
And we'll keep dropping more inside clubhouse stories.
There was a, here's one that I was,
have we told the origin of drunk chicks?
No.
Hey, we need to, we need to talk about dead air too.
It's been on my mind.
Did I wake up in the middle of the night?
I'm like, we need to talk clubhouse about dead air.
Every week, I'm like, God, they need to know.
They should know.
And I feel like they do.
Go ahead, bro.
Do you want to, do you want to, okay, I'll lead us off.
I'll leave us off.
with drunk chicks.
So it was like six or seven years ago.
Me and Ben were working at the same station.
The station about this.
The station about this,
bad station.
Best comment ever.
We got we got we got we got tapped by the one of these you know kind of like
basically me and Ben still joking about this.
It's like us in five years.
It's just these two days two middle age dudes who host the show.
And you know,
they just look,
they love beer and gambling and boobs.
They love all that.
Yeah.
And so we got a tap by them to go to Carb Day at the Indy 500,
the Friday before the race and do like man on the streets interviews.
And when the dude who asked us to do it, you know,
it's like at the time, it was like, wow, this is like cool opportunity,
like a big show in Indianapolis so we get to go like do shit for or whatever.
And the dude who's giving us to rest.
he just kept saying like,
we're just like, what do you want?
Like, what do you want us to get here?
You know, like, yeah.
He'd be like, oh, man, you know, just do your thing.
You know, should we trust you guys?
Just talk to a bunch of drunk chicks.
Yeah, just like you see some drunk chicks.
Just go up and talk to them and, you know,
just get some audio for some drunk chicks.
And we're like, oh, okay, right on.
Yeah, we can do that.
He's like, you know, it was just like,
people will love to hear for some drunk chicks out there.
We're like, just, dude, the amount of time.
What should we ask?
Should we ask anything specific?
I don't know.
Just go out there and get some audio.
Just, I don't know, interview some drunk chucks.
We're like, dude, we both walked away and we're like, dude,
how many times the other fuck to say drunk chucks, dude?
And it wasn't chicks.
It was chucks.
C-H-Y-U-C-K-S.
Dude, that was literally the only direction the entire time.
You know, it wasn't like, hey, do you have like a specific set of questions you want
us to ask?
Is this like a trivia thing?
Oh, no, just find drunk chicks.
Just go up and find a big group of drunk chicks and just put the mic in their mouth and it'll be funny.
Just find the drunk chicks.
Chicks.
Chicks.
All right.
So the next day, that's pretty much what we did.
We just look for drunk chucks.
But like we like.
I don't know, man.
If they asked me and you to do that again, I'd probably say, yeah.
I'm not going to lie.
I'd be like I'm not above that at all.
Like, let's run it.
Now.
Let's find some chucks.
Who's above drunk chicks?
Hey, and did we find any drunk chucks?
No, I was just all dudes.
So we kind of failed the mission.
I don't even know.
Dude, I would love to see that video.
We're never going to see that again.
I don't even know if that video or audio saw the lighted day after it.
Yeah.
I don't know if it aired, but they said they liked it.
We were so straight.
you.
So now that's
something that you can add
into the clubhouse arsenal
is, you know,
if you guys are like,
oh,
what are we doing on Friday night?
I don't know.
It's just like go around
some drunk chicks.
Should we go there?
I don't know.
There are any drunk chucks there?
Drunk chicks.
Chicks.
Do the word chicks.
Or it could also,
it could also work on the opposite way.
You know,
maybe it's just like,
I don't want to go to that place.
There's just too many drunk
chicks.
That bars is out of control, man.
The chicks are way too drunk.
I don't want to be around that many drunk chicks.
Chucks.
Chuck.
Chuck.
Dude, who's an NFL player with the name Chuck?
Is there one?
NFL player.
I should know.
I should know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, this one's even better.
Former right tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
chukes acoraphore
chuk acoraphore
drunk chucks of corophor
chuk chuk
chuk knoblock
I don't know
I don't know bro but these same
these same dudes
these same dudes that we like did
that man on the street
found the drunk chukes for
they like we we like looked up to them or I still
look up to them actually
and before we knew anything about radio they're
like in the break room and that's where me and Joe would do like all our stupid little skits and
sketches and stuff like that. And we'd always pop in there and get coffee from time to time.
And one of the guys was like talking to us and I don't know, we were like kind of nervous.
And like throughout this, throughout the station, like the whatever was on air would be playing
out loud. Like, and so you could hear what was like who was talking or who was like doing a show.
And like if it got silent for a second, everybody would be like, oh shit.
That means like somebody messed up and somebody like forgot to play a commercial or forgot to like move it to the next segment.
And like the golden rule in radio is like you can't have like any silence on the radio.
Something's always got to be playing.
It was quiet for like three seconds.
And one of those two guys that told us to go find the drunk chicks was like dead air.
And he said.
And it like echoed throughout.
So anytime, I don't know, anytime it's quiet or like anytime we someone says something about
air, me and Joe are just like dead air.
I don't know.
Not as good as drunk jokes, but I think about it every Tuesday.
No, it's it's still good because yeah, it's it's something that we say on the regular.
And it also, like you said, it can apply.
If you're in like a weird, like awkward silence situation, just hit him with a dead error and walk
away and then it's off of you.
In an elevator, dead error.
What?
So that's your inside clubhouse stories of the week.
Inside, inside, inside clubhouse.
So now we're up to a bed for a vet game.
Red, red, red, right.
Strait you know about this.
Dead air and drunk chicks.
Chicks.
There you go.
Dude, okay, so I have, I took a couple notes for
for TG, a couple TG notes.
Oh, I got a note for you.
Last week.
One I want to start off with is
how
wild of a twilight zone
world is it
when you're falling,
you're in bed and it's Thursday night
football or
Saturday night football or whatever.
Burpee boy.
What time is it?
Whoa.
I love you burpee boy.
Whoa.
Whoa.
you're winding down, you know, so it's, it's like 10.15, so second half maybe just started,
or it's the second quarter, whatever at like 9.30. All right. But like, you're like,
you doze off and you fall asleep and you fall asleep in like the second quarter. But then
you wake up, either you're just tossing and turn it or you have to go to the bathroom or something,
and you wake up and the game is over. And they're like in the weird post game commentary, you know?
Like the screen up, the graphic up on the board is like, final,
uh, Detroit 26th, LA 20.
And the music's playing and you're like, oh, no, I missed the whole, what, what happened?
I missed the second half.
It's over now.
When I went to sleep, it was just starting.
I missed the whole entire thing.
And now it's in this weird postgame commentary.
I didn't even see it.
It doesn't exist.
But it's done.
It's like a weird.
time to be in that like two minutes, you're just out of whack.
Like when you finally, okay, so you're saying you fall asleep and you miss like the second
half of the whole entire game and they're at the post game?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you fall asleep with like six minutes to go in the second quarter or something.
Like you're, because you're not like, it's not your team.
You're not watching it.
It's on.
You're keeping an eye on it.
But then you fall asleep and you wake up and it's in the post game.
And I don't know.
So it happened to me on Thursday night, and it was just the weirdest thing ever.
You just, yeah.
You're like, what?
Like, I don't know.
Part of me kind of likes it.
I feel like I'm,
I feel like I missed out on so much.
Like, I was kind of sad.
Like, it's kind of like a minor version of like, you know, how sometimes you'd have like a dream that you like went to sleep and you miss Christmas or something.
Holy shit.
Dude, it's, uh, it's every time I fall asleep for or take a nap, I feel like I miss out on everything in the world.
You know, like you, you fall.
you take a nap, you wake up and you get on Twitter and you're like,
why did I just miss the 10 of the most important events in my lifetime?
It's kind of like that type of vibe.
But it's like the Rams and Lions, so not really.
Yeah, I don't know why it just weirds me out so much.
And it puts me in a weird twilight zone.
But I'm like, if I'm going to, if I want to fall asleep in the second quarter,
I want to, I want to wake up at 4 a.m.
So I'm all right, cool.
Nothing is going on right now.
Like, I know I missed it, but like, it's nothing that a quick check of the Sports
Center app or Twitter can't fix.
All good.
I could start my day.
Get the recap.
Have to know.
It happened in the second half.
Have to know what happened in the second half.
No, it's, uh, hey, remember?
Okay.
Um, all right.
So college football on Saturday, the whole day.
There's so many games, so many, like, badass plays and highlights and stuff like that.
the fact that they all just evaporate from the face of the earth when like the clock strikes midnight
and it's like NFL Sunday you know what I mean you can't find college football highlights
anywhere after midnight on Saturday I've never been able to do it you know what I'm talking about
dude no I can't find one college football highlight on a Sunday they don't exist anymore
yep like it never happened that's why back in the day it was so important to have that final word
with Lou Holtz and Mark May
and Reese Davis.
College football final.
Was that happening at like 1 a.m?
Yeah, it's not midnight of Saturday night.
It's after college football final.
It's after college football final
in that weird West Coast game
that would be going on until 2 a.m.
Beautiful. They don't do that anymore?
No, they do. But they don't do the
final debate or whatever that you have
with Lou Holtz and Mark May.
I just hated that so much.
I was like, where am I supposed to see anything on Sunday?
I'd like Google it.
I'd be like Michigan highlights.
I'd find a game from like 2018.
I was like, never mind, dude.
Forget it.
And then you just totally miss NFL Sunday
because you go on a rabbit hole of watching Chad Hennie to Mario Manningham.
Watching John Navar.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Dude, he started for two years.
why was Anthony Thomas the only one wearing black cleats
then I just go down that list of YouTube videos
on the right side of the screen
uh-huh uh-huh
all right well it's your note that was one of mine
you said you have one
let's see dead error
uh let's see
and taking too long and dead air
uh hey can we go back to uh this is not a sports podcast
but can we go back to
like football teams
taking their team pictures
like standing on like
military tanks
remember that shit
like in high school
no I remember I remember that
yeah it wouldn't be tanks dude
that was sick
dude the old bleacher picks
I just remember
I just remember like it would be
it would line up to like
what part of
of town the school is from.
You know, so you'd have like rural center grove and they'd be on top of like trucks from like
195 or or fire trucks.
Ooh.
Okay.
A football, a bunch of seniors with just their football jerseys on no pads, just on a fire truck.
Hey, jeans.
Cargo shorts.
Blueish jeans.
I hate it when there was a football like team picture in the front road just had a bunch of like
shoes on.
dude I hate that so much
just different ass shoes
every kid they're like dirty
so like no one has cool shoes
in the whole pick
and for some reason
lawn mowing shoes
yeah bro
it's like oh damn today's picture day
I brought like the wackest shoes ever
because I was just gonna change into cleats after
you know what I mean and then go to practice
and then you
but it's always a dude picture day
for a team always
always the worst day ever
or just like
Like on the Photoshop person, crop that shit out.
It looks weird though.
If no one has feet in the picture.
Well, that's where you got to.
Hey, you've done this shit before.
If you're like in the design world, you got to get creative and blend it in and everything to make the background match.
Yeah, true, true, true.
Get creative.
Nobody's looks worse in a picture than an entire football team and the coaches.
Those like, A, those like, like Ohio states.
college football team picture.
Who's looking at that, first of all?
Like, why are they taking that picture?
Where is that going?
In the program?
In the football program?
Where it's super zoomed out.
Yeah.
And it's like off center in the bleachers somewhere and you're like...
Half the photo is bleachers.
Like, guys, crop this up a little bit.
It's so bad.
And there's like 70s.
There's more coaches than players now.
Trainers and shit.
I'm like,
Let's involve the whole community too, I guess.
Donors.
Let's just everybody get in this pick.
So many people.
It becomes like one of those, you know, when you're like high school class
would all like line up and spell out the year you're graduating.
And they take like an overhead shot on the football field.
It's kind of that.
I wouldn't be mad at that.
That's what college football is now.
That's what their photos are.
Dude, that would actually be sick if a team did that.
I could see like Colorado doing that or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, no, I just remember like, it's funny you're saying this too because I literally just had Friday night lights on in the background while I was working on shit like the TV show, not the movie.
Oh, yeah.
So confusing.
Now there's not.
Not a sports guy.
Not a sports podcast, but you know, I had to have it on.
Just good background noise, right?
As I say.
Right, right, right.
And, uh, but it's just so funny.
And you go down to these rural areas or a town like that and and the Texas roadhouse.
there's like the posters of the seniors with the schedule.
I'll be like,
hell yeah.
What?
Like for what?
FaceTime at Texas Roadhouse, bro?
Everybody goes here.
It's the most random ass schools too.
I'm like,
why is the Greenwood basketball team on the wall at this Applebyes?
Greenwood basketball 2003?
Who cares?
They didn't win.
They're just on the wall.
Like they literally didn't win.
They're just like a mediocre ass team.
0-304
Woodman
Yeah
Dude,
Applebee's is such
That restaurant dude
They'll do like
Different corners too
I'm like
One corner would be like
Fucking Whiteland
The next one's greenwood
Like huh
I use in there
Indy 500
I got all right
Do you guys have a seating
preference
I'm like the UNDC corner
Alpha dogs
Hey
picture of Joe Po in there
holding a football
whistle in his mouth
but like the pictures aren't even
you indie they fucked up
and it's like a different it's like a whole
it's like some IU too
you're like dude
can we sit at the DePaul corner
by the DePaul wall
DePaul wall dude
it's just Paul wall
that would be awesome
that's the corner your mom doesn't want to sit in
no we're not sitting
and it's no
no it's too much
much.
It's too much.
Dude,
Applebee's.
There's another restaurant
like that.
Shit!
I forgot I was going to say
dead air.
That's going to piss me off.
The Wabash corner.
No.
We were talking about
so,
oh wow, forget it.
Forget it.
Whatever.
Doesn't even matter.
Can we just talk about
NFL Blitz real quick?
How good was that an answer?
we are underway that's always in my head
do we ever get an ID on who that guy is
what the guy that's the announcer for that
yeah I'm kind of thinking why isn't that guy
the announcer for like real sports
or was he fake like was that AI
that's I that's what I'm trying to figure out
was this like an undercover dude who was an actual like
Kevin Harlan you know or or is it just
a voice actor that nail
it. It's got to be a voice actor, but I'm like, why isn't he doing the Super Bowl? That guy was
crispy for all those games, NHL, MLB, Slugfest. No, a sports podcast, not a reminiscent podcast,
not a nostalgic podcast. Not a video game podcast. Dude, this is, I'm proud to be a video game
podcast. If this, that's what this is. I'm proud to be a video game podcast where at least
I know I'm free
Dude can we remake that song
Where we can talk about I'm on green
And I proudly stand up
And I won't forget
The controllers who died
When I would press B
And it wouldn't work
Oh shit
I don't know the rest of the words
Da-da-D-D right right
Every time we mess up
To say all the
All the same
Station
about this drunk shit.
Yeah, I don't know.
But I think that guy's voice, man, stuck in my head forever.
It's so clean.
Is that legal?
Yeah, that's good.
That's real good.
I remember I did a Voices draft and I was working at Barstool.
And one of the ones I pulled out was the EA sports.
It's in the game.
and people were like oh yeah i pulled that one out that was probably my best pick got it in
like the fifth round or something wow that in the fifth round that's a first round pick and the
that's a sleep yeah no i know that's where everybody was like oh my god but i thought i was like i don't
people will people even know what i'm talking about anyways still see that video once a year
that pops up with that one dude who uh it's like sees that guy in public somehow knows who it is and
Right.
How do you know?
It's got to be your friend's dad.
He's just like pretty good.
E.A.
Sports.
The way he was like, watch this.
I was like,
oh, God, here we go.
You are watching a master at work.
If you say watch this,
like you better come with the heat.
You can't say watch this in bomb.
Watch this.
Whatever anybody in POM.
public asked me like whenever I'm out asked me to do an impression I never hit watch never in a million
years ever would I I always am just like ah dude this is gone it's too loud in here I like I've had
too many drinks yeah two beers oh dude no I can't just because I know that they're going to make me
do it and I inevitably want to not unless you're on some drunk chicks that's true but I never am
because sports are my life.
And that's next week on Clubhouse Inside Baseball.
Dude, what is this?
What is this?
They're just, dude, they're flowing now.
I'm sorry.
Hey, just, hey, just one thing and then will you tell that story about that?
One thing, and we tell the story about sports are my life.
Can I get a, can we get a minute?
Yeah, they had an email or asking.
about that last week.
It's all, it's all,
it's all anybody wants,
honestly.
It's the only reason
I'm doing this podcast
is for the Molinard minute.
All right.
Yes, dude.
Hold on.
Let me set the timer.
Hold on timer, timer, timer.
Okay.
All right,
three, two,
one.
I'm having a really hard time
so far with football season
because I love
Sunday night football so much.
I think Tariko is a G.
He's a legend.
Collinsworth,
obviously me and him
are tied together.
forever. Here's a guy, right? I am struggling so much with figuring out what the hell is going on
with the NBC Sunday Night Football Pre-game show. They're all robots up there. First of all,
Devin McCordy wearing that box suit with no tie in the button all the way top to the top. Chris Simms doing
the same thing. Jason Garrett is a fake person. He is not real. He doesn't know how to talk or interact with
people. Poor Maria Taylor. She's just up there having to like fake laugh at everything. Roddy Harrison
constantly trying to go viral.
Tony Dungey, God love him.
He's a God-faring man.
He did a lot of great things for Indianapolis,
but I think it might be time to hang it up, man.
It's fascinating to me that we have the biggest show on TV,
NBC Sunday Night Football,
and the lead-up to that show is such a questionably bad product.
Can you do the Mel Khyper after that?
I did Mel Khyper and I fucking hit the post like Rake on that.
Not Bedford, Fick.
I hit that at one minute on the dead.
Not.
First Molnard minute of the fall.
Dude,
the first,
I just love Molnarn minute season.
I don't know why we took off the off season.
Is it,
is it just an NFL thing?
I think it should be everywhere.
No.
It's not an NFL thing,
but it's just,
I think it plays better in the fall.
Everything just plays better
when there's fall so routine.
The summertime and everything,
it's such a hodgepodgepodge.
No one knows what the hell is going on,
what day it is,
where they're going,
what's happening.
Once you get in the fall,
it's like,
okay, we got school, we're back in the shit.
We know we got a routine, Thursday night football,
Saturday, college, Sunday,
blah, blah.
It just makes sense from all in our minute to come back.
So,
I've just been really struggling with that, dude.
Like, it's between watching the opening night kickoff
where they had to fill like 25 extra more minutes
because of the rain delay,
I mean,
the amount of just like bad cliches and just like,
oh, ha,
oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Dude, it's,
brutal. Can't watch.
It sounded like not a good
like cast of people either really.
Like the people you just named during that.
Who the hell? Okay, I knew who they are
but like why are they on the
pregame show?
It should be like your A list, right?
A list, right? Sunday night. Yeah, Sunday night
football is the most watched television
like program every single year.
Sunday night football?
It's, yeah.
Above Monday night football?
Yeah.
No way, bro.
Oh, yeah.
Who's on the Monday night football pregame?
Not that this is a football podcast or anything.
That changes seemingly every year.
I think this year it's Scott Van Pelt, Jason Kelsey, and.
Good to go.
And Booger McFarland, I think.
Pretty good.
But it wasn't like that.
It wasn't always like that.
Like I think Laura Rutledge,
Hopson sometimes.
Rutley.
RG3 was on it.
And now you got Joe Buck
and Troy Aikman who call
Monday night football, which helps,
but I still think that Sunday night football is king
because they always have kick-ass games.
Monday night football still like tonight,
we're recording tonight
or Monday like we usually do.
And yeah, you got Jets 49ers tonight,
which would be a huge draw.
But like come week three,
you're always getting like the Cardinals
and the Rams.
Like it's weird, you know?
But then Sunday night football is
constantly like, oh shit.
You know, it's like something pretty good.
Yeah.
It's like Bill's chiefs or like Steelers Ravens or or or or Bengals bills.
Bills or you know, it's one of those on every week on Sunday night football.
Cowboys fucking stealers.
Hey.
So Monday night football Christmas Sunday night football Christmas Eve.
That's the truest words you've ever.
spoken.
It's the only thing I want to talk about.
All they do on their podcast is like relate things to Christmas and Christmas Eve.
That's the truest thing.
That's that you've ever said.
That's absolutely 100% of it.
Sounds good to me.
So,
you know,
it's like I still watch it and I still,
but dude,
it's just again,
because I mean,
we're in this field kind of.
I'm in this field.
But I,
and I say I hate to be like a critic,
but it's just,
I'm watching like,
what the hell is going on?
It's crazy.
Crazy.
Who's watching that?
Oh, that's a callback.
And that right there, folks, is what we call a callback.
Nice minute, bro.
Really glad to have the minute back.
I was thinking about it all day yesterday.
Thanks.
Yeah, it felt good.
It felt pretty clean.
It felt on the nose.
On the dot.
I'm going to see if I have any more notes.
Hold on things that.
While you're doing that, while you're doing that,
I'll tell one more clubhouse story.
So there's this dude that me and Ben went to
college with kind of and uh he's just like a classic like when you think of like local sports
broadcaster it's this guy and he works in like a relatively small market still to this day and he
just like loves it kills it like he does crush has it has it has a passion for it but he's just
like when you think of sports guy on the air it's this guy and so me been like we used to he used to
have he'd go live on Facebook while he was on the air and so i mean ben would like prop that up
but we were like writing and like working on shit just for shits and giggles.
And,
which is also like pretty good move on him going live on like the internet is live
stream while you're going live on the radio.
I was like, yo, kind of a kind of killing it.
Totally.
Yeah.
And this guy's like a pro.
Like I said, like he's a pro.
It's no faulting him there.
But there's just this one episode where he was, he was going live and we're tuned into it
headed on.
And he's like trying to like kind of be relatable in a way,
talking about how like,
you know,
these are the things that I don't talk about with my wife.
And I don't talk about that because I love sports.
Sports are my life.
And it's being a bit just,
this is one of those things we're real.
Oh, bro.
couldn't believe that he's real.
Like he's the kind of dude that's just like,
and it's not the same for one Paul George.
Bro.
I remember us listening to that in the car.
I just look at you.
You got one Paul George, bro.
We both didn't say a word for probably four minutes.
Oh, dude.
So that's, yeah,
whenever we get too sportsy,
you'll hear a sports are my life.
Because I love sports and sports
are my life.
Sports are my life.
Because sports are my life.
And my life is sports.
Forth.
Sports.
And I know you
And I know you don't
Sports.
Sports are my life, life, life, life.
La, la life.
Sports are my life.
Dude.
Take.
Not a hot take.
This is not something.
I know you don't listen for my takes.
you listen for sports, not for my takes, because sports are, well,
takes, takes, takes, dudes, just sports.
It's where all sports broadcasters thinking about all weekend, takes, takes, takes, takes,
in their head walking around their living room, takes, takes, takes, take, need hot takes.
What's my take?
What's my take?
Takes, takes, takes.
He wants, he says that because he wants to have his.
take and say it too.
These things are sounding like hot takes.
You got any more notes?
No, I just read the same thing four times.
And in the middle of it, it says,
On the first day of football season,
my true love gave to me.
I don't know why it says that,
but it just does.
Maybe we can make a song out of that.
I have no idea why that's in there.
But yeah,
now sports podcasts.
We're going to come up with some songs.
We got a few songs that are in the,
fucking bank here.
I'm coming to India on
September 18th.
So like soon.
Yeah.
Let's do some.
I'm going to be,
oh,
yeah,
I'm going to be in Florida next week.
Shit,
we should not be talking about
right now,
but yeah.
What the fuck?
Sorry.
I don't know what the date is.
No,
I brought it up.
It's my fault.
All right.
Let's go to,
let's get the club,
bro.
Let's go to the clubhouse.
Yeah,
let's go to,
let's go to the clubhouse.
Let me get.
We're going to play a little ketchup up here.
to play. Grab your mustard because I got the ketchup.
This is from John.
Let me relish in these real quick.
Team these guys at g-mil.com.
From John's subject line,
pop, pop, pop, or da, da, da.
Joey and Benny, you may ask yourself,
is this a sports podcast?
And is this a sports question?
And the answer is when it's not sports,
how do we make it sports related?
So the question is,
when Sweet Caroline comes on a sporting event or wedding,
when the chorus starts going,
Sweet Caroline,
do you go,
pop,
or do you go,
da,
which one is it?
Or is it not either of those?
Slap my ass,
WhatsApp style with a cordless house phone in 1999
during Monday night football commercial break
while wearing Benny's $400 tongue out limited edition screen mask.
Oh,
let you guys,
thanks for the entertainment.
Dude,
what a great poll,
man.
I forgot about that mask.
Still have it because it was $400.
But, um,
da,
dun,
da,
bap,
bamba.
I think I might do both.
Sweet.
I think,
no.
Yeah.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
it's not,
it's not either one of those for me.
Yeah,
it's a mix of both.
It's not,
I don't go,
ba,
pop,
pop,
pop,
I do what you do.
Sweet Caroline.
Ba-B-H-B-H-B-H B-H B-H
But sometimes I might go
Dun-D-D-D-N-N-N- Nah, I think I do bye
I think I do bye with the ball
Or from around Purdue people we do
Sweet Caroline
I-U sucks
Really?
Yeah
So Purdue
Hey, so off topic
but what is that picture next to you on the couch
to you're right.
Other way.
So Elvis?
Yeah, dude.
Why is that there?
Dude, that's what you win at the fair, bro.
A picture that big.
You won that at the fair.
You're like,
should I get the Elvis one or the Wiz Khalifa one?
No, I can throw like three balls in a barrel?
Bro, I told you.
I got this at a flea market.
Oh, nice.
Why is it right there?
Because it fell.
The cats or some shit probably knocked it down.
So it was just on the couch.
Bro, cats.
Oh, my God.
Nothing safe in your house.
Got too many of them.
Got too many of them.
Yeah, but it's with a theme.
Like you said,
Joey's basement.
So it's a bunch of...
I was just like wondering if you were going to bust that out or you're like hiding it or
something.
It was just there.
And I was like, who is that?
I thought it was Randall Cuttingham for a second.
I was like, that'd be funny.
Are you lonesome tonight?
All right.
So bad impression.
Okay, from Dustin Morgan.
Whoops, from Dustin.
Tequio Spikes.
Hey guys,
I hope the coffee today has been exquisite.
Question for both of you.
Did you guys use to do the thing that teenage boys do
where you try to look really tall in pictures
and sneakily stand on your tippy toes a little bit?
Especially trying to be as tall as big dad
and get comments from family about how much you're growing.
That, of course, carries over into sports pictures.
where all the boys are standing as tall as humanly possible
and lifting their heads way up,
almost tearing ligaments to their body
by stiffening and stretching so much.
Boys always trying to be big.
Slap my ass and pray as hard as you can
that it's going to be dodgeball for PE today.
Oh my God.
What a good closer.
How about when you didn't know what PE was going to be?
What'd you guys do to the class that already went?
What did you guys do?
Dude in passing.
And then you'd have one friend that, like, you never really knew they're a wild card.
So, like, they'd say something cool.
You're like, but they could.
They're probably bullshit in me.
Oh, no.
I hated that kid.
Would you get away?
King said it's Dodgeball.
Oh, it's probably, it's probably lame.
He's probably just getting me all hyped up so I get disappointed.
Sometimes it was too good to be true.
You ask your homie, what you do?
What did you guys do in PE Dodgeball?
I was like, it's not going to be dodgeball for our class.
We have like the bad kids and shit, you know.
Like they're going to change it on us.
I always thought, I was like, we're not going to get Dodgeball, bro.
We're going to get like the big parachute thing.
Like it's like a flex week.
And like the PE teacher was too like it was doing something else and didn't like make the lesson plan.
So you bring out the parachute.
That's a PE teacher's like TV that they wheel in.
The parachute.
That's not bad.
I hated that.
Yeah.
I was like cool, but like, okay.
How about those little.
little carts. Do you remember the little tiny? Like they were like scooters, but they were,
you had to sit on them and your fingers would get jammed in the wheels and shit. You run over your
own fingers. Why was that a thing in B.E? I was like, what is this for? Did they have a deal on
those little things? Because everyone has had like an experience with those little, they weren't so
fast. But I was like, why do we have these? Yeah. It was just like, hey, you buy 12.
over these you get like 45 kickballs.
Like, okay.
There was always that one kickball that was like way better than the others for dodgeball.
Dude, you get that red ball.
Dude, you're planting it in somebody's face.
All you want to do.
The most lit day in PE.
Did you guys have this?
Do you remember this one?
Like this is when like razor scooters were big.
And we brought, we got to bring our scooters into PE.
Did that happen for you guys?
No, we didn't have this.
Oh, because I remember for my seventh birthday, I got a red razor scooter.
It was unbelievable.
And I would remember bringing it into school, but I don't think we did.
With the little shocks on the wheels?
Yeah.
Went so hard.
But our P.E. teacher is like, yeah, bring your scooters in and we're going to have like
scooter day.
So sick.
Oh, my God.
All right.
Let's keep going.
We should probably answer his question to.
actually
Dustin asked
if we tried to
like be taller in pictures.
Oh, I still do.
I still do.
I still get I still kind of
raise my heels this much
when I'm like in a picture.
Everybody's taller in me every time.
Next to a girl that's tall.
But you're like,
God dang.
Let me fix my entire posture.
Yeah.
I mean,
we're both pretty tall guys
because you know,
relatively to your average.
American male.
Yeah, still short though.
Still always 510 somehow.
I'm like, how am I still 510?
It does suck that.
I don't know.
I was thinking about that.
I was like,
because Tom Brady was on the call yesterday.
Hey, did he suck?
I thought he was fine.
I mean, you could tell he was a little nervous
and this is his first time doing it
in front of 32 million people.
But like, he didn't suck.
Yeah, I just say he was.
wasn't like a seasoned vet yet, which he's not.
Yeah, I just saw like some Twitter stuff.
I was like, oh, did he like blow it?
What happened?
Oh, whatever.
No, it's just people are insane.
And like I said, like, okay, that's his first time doing this.
And he has to do it in front of 32 million people watching.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Okay, Steve from accounting.
Like, got you go fucking punch some numbers for 32 million people.
Yeah, don't mess up.
Sorry.
I'm a Brady
I'm a Brady
What's that word?
Apologist
I'm a Brady apologist
But I was just thinking about
I was like they're like yeah he's 6.5 and I'm like
Damn if I ever met Tom Brady
I would just look like such a little bitch
I'd give him a hug
Oh I would too
Immediately like I'm a son
Kiss me
Yeah but our
Are her he would
our heads are resting on his chest.
Perfect.
He would be able to like caress our heads.
Please.
Please for the love of God.
Just hold me.
Please Tom Brady.
Dude,
and then whisper in my ear like a like an audible at the line.
I'd be like,
I'd fall asleep.
From ball like I'm Kobe 69.
The subject line is just,
is just this pod in one picture.
Hell yeah, dude.
Yep.
This is not a sports podcast.
Not a supposed to be because.
Love you, bro.
That's a great.
That's a great email right there.
That guy,
I feel like that linebacker does listen to this podcast.
God.
What a dream.
First guest,
that guy.
Please.
Those are the guests we should have.
It's like dudes that look cool in college football.
Hey, why did you decide to put tape all over your belt?
Just wondering.
And that's the only question we ask.
Either that or indie local media people.
Right, bad, bad, right.
From Matt.
Subject line, Philip Wellman baseball ejection.
Hey, fellas, have either of you ever been kicked out of a sports game?
It was my sophomore year.
My team just grounded into a double play and we're losing by 15 runs in the third inning.
I was walking up to the plate to back.
and I muttered Jesus Christ, we can't do anything today.
And then all of a sudden I hear, number 17, you're out of here.
Yes, it was Catholic school, so maybe that was part of it.
So I kicked out, got kicked out of the game,
which was the first game of a double header and was suspended for two additional games
and had to apologize to the coach.
Slap my ass harder than Gus Farrat, headbutting the wall and giving himself a concussion.
Gus Farrat, bro.
Name a better football named and Gus Farrat.
Where have all the QB names gone?
You honestly got the best end of the deal on that, bro.
Double headers?
Double headers fucking sucked.
I think it's crazy that there's still a thing.
We got a double header today.
Wait, don't like real baseball teams play double headers?
Yeah.
Like still?
Uh-huh.
Like a minor league baseball team, not major league,
but a minor league baseball team.
We'll play two games in one day.
Major league baseball teams do, dude.
Shut up, bro.
The Chicago Cubs will play two games in one day.
Yep.
Still?
I thought that was some travel baseball in Sarasota type shit.
The Cubs play the Pirates twice and one.
Twice and one.
Dude, that's 79 innings with three people in the crowd.
For what?
yeah
hey it'll yeah
it would be like a 105 first pitch
and a 705 first pitch
bro I if I
so all the guys play both games
dude if I was in the right field
I'd be like
no I mean
sometimes they don't
sometimes you know
somebody will get
either during the day
they'll be down
and then they'll play at night
or you know vice versa
but yeah a lot of times
they'll just fucking play all 18 man
that is so crazy
really do they need to
Does it happen all the time?
No, no, no.
It's usually like if it gets rained out in May or something,
they'll be like, hey, we're playing again in August.
We'll do a double header, day night double header there, something like that.
Yeah.
Times two, whoa.
But at least in the bigs, like you're a professional baseball player.
It's at a cool stadium.
And you have fans there watching and it's like on TV and it's fucking.
Dude, a doubleheader in high school,
that's when you want to fucking die.
Why would I think that would be kind of cool?
It's better for Matthew in this situation
because he got kicked out and he got suspended
so then he could just sit on the bench and dick around
and eat seeds and bullshit with people in the dugout.
That's the fun part about baseball.
Nothing better than that.
It's a low key, the same vibe is like
you're beating a team and they pull the starters.
totally pull the starters oh damn okay oh all right i'm done for the game when you get that you're done
oh that feels good then you start eating candy start looking back a little bit looking at the cheerleaders
how forbidden was that looking at a cheerleader during the game i was like i'm going to get arrested
or something looking into the crowd talking to your friend and then the other team starts coming
back and you got to get back in the game dude i just said a i just said a whole rack
a starburst and you want me to play now? God damn.
Who had the starburst hook up for you on the sideline?
Just the kid.
The kid that always had a concussion that didn't really have a concussion.
Just wanted to be on the team.
I have a concussion can't play for four years.
Cargo shorts.
Towel hanging out of his pocket.
Jersey on.
Kind of a good number.
I'm like, bro, you could so play, dude.
Always had candy.
That was a dude you relied on.
A.
A.
Kind of poor.
I always kind of had a water bottle full of vodka in his trunk, too.
I was like, dude.
Too soon.
Too soon.
Listen to heavy rap at that time.
And then now it's just like the most plaid country guy ever.
Yeah.
What happened?
All about getting bitches in high school.
So married now.
Four kids.
Dogs.
Picture.
Realtor.
I'm like, bro, you were the weed poor kid with vodka and your trunk in high school.
Look at you now.
Like pick an identity and stay with it.
Be yourself.
Oh, shit.
Weed poor kid always just seeps into our conversations.
Hey, hey, hey, biggest diamond earrings.
Just went through so many phases.
Like he was the kid like with the big white tea at the mall.
And then he was like at all the country concerts.
I'm like, damn, dog.
He had a big truck, but he also listened to rap and had a knife.
I'm like, I don't know who you are.
That's the most common transition, bro.
I swear, fucking dude who listened to nothing but young Jezy and Gucci
Maine in high school in 2009,
to now just being the biggest fucking Luke Combs fan of all time.
That's so true.
I'm like, where does that crossover?
I'm like, did you hear a rap song with a country?
artist in it and you're like I'm gonna be this guy now
it's gotta be the girl man
my girl just like country so I started going
I just got the mega ticket for
for both of us one year and like
it's good man I mean it's really good stuff
bro you used to wear fake Jordans
now you're wearing cowboy boots what happened
boot cut jeans and cowboy boots
with a straw hat at the Luke combs
concert his mouth
bro his
lips are lined
Fined
with Zins.
He's got the
R2 L2
R1 R2
all lined with Zins
the top of the
PS2
controller
all of them
in
R1 R1R2
L2
Zinned up
Like you going
R1L1?
I'm not going to
lie
we used to do that
with dip
Oh yeah
the boys
you're going
R1R2 or you L1
or you L1
that's good
Are you L2 R1
I'm going to L2R1 if you're L2
R1
Bro it's so stupid
I gotta shut up
You see videos from his wedding
And it's just them
Just screaming that song by Luke
Combs
Loneck ice cold beer
Never broke my heart
Huh
That's crazy
Two years later
divorced. I'm like, hey, hey, he's back to the die. Kevin back in the game. What are we doing
tonight? Mucky duck? Question marks on a story. 16 bid or nah? Let's go to Jimmy.
Kevin. You know a guy named Jimmy? You look just like it, man. You do. Sorry, here we go.
Same movie question for a guy who's never watched movies.
Yep, but Clubhouse will get it.
It's all good.
Oh, true.
Jimmy says R.W. McCorders.
Oh, I love that.
These guys, fellas, if you're doing well,
I'm sure like the rest of Clubhouse,
we're all am for the NFL season,
finally kicking off this week.
This got me thinking about 2000s defensive backs
that had some of the best names.
R.W. McCorders,
Dre, Bligh.
I love this.
Champ Bailey.
Quentin Jammer.
Dude, what is going to?
Jerry Azuma.
Oh my God.
Jerry Azuma.
What?
Darren Sharper kind of had a rough ending there.
And since this isn't a Packers podcast,
we must include the honorable mentioned pair of Al Harris and Mike McKenzie.
I bet those two still give Hasselback nightmares after the pick six clincher in the AO3 wild card.
Slop my ass with a Mon Green's forearm sleeves while Brett Farr breaks my fingers with a bullet pass over the middle.
as I get lit up by Tekeo Spikes on 3rd and 2.
Second Tekeo Spikes mentioned to the podcast.
That's Clubhouse.
I mean, what a name.
And he kind of was Ticchio Spikes that good?
Or did he?
I think if his name was something else,
people would be like, he was all right.
But his name was Ticchio Spikes here.
All right.
He played like 16 years in the league.
Yeah.
Was he like,
was he Bill's Mafia to Kio Spikes?
What was the team he like went crazy on?
I believe he was on with the Bengals.
He was with Cincinnati.
he is with Buffalo.
I think he had a Washington stint in there.
I don't know.
I get him with London Fletcher kind of mixed up.
Tequio spikes.
No, sports,
podcast.
Kind of want tequitos now,
but just saying,
tequitos spikes.
Quentin jammer on those chargers teams
with Antonio Carmardi.
What the hell?
Antonio Carmardi sounds like a liquor.
I'm like,
I'll,
yeah,
I'll take a fifth of Crimardi.
Antonio Bacardi
Antonio Cromarty
Hey
Jammer as a corner
I know man
Like come on
Are you sure
Hey stage name
Is that stage name?
Dude that's like
Just in case bro
Just in case bro
Such a sick backup
I still don't believe that
I kind of don't believe that
That's real.
I don't believe it.
Just in case.
Pitcher named Kenny Brigham.
Come on, dude.
That's a dad story that like didn't happen, but he told you it did.
You know, that you're like, I don't know.
Just in case.
My ass, dude.
You're right.
Clinton Jammer's crazy.
Backup quarterback.
Receiver James Thrash.
Come on.
Let me do one more.
here from Mike.
Best ESPN commercial.
Boys saw this old ESPN commercial on Twitter today.
Steve Irwin,
the crocodile hunter encounters the Florida Gators mascot.
Thought you might enjoy it.
Oh yeah,
that's a good one.
Do you remember that one?
I don't think I do.
Wait, Steve Irwin and who?
Steve Irwin,
he was the crocodile Dundee guy.
Do you know him?
I know.
He has a long blonde hair.
Who's the other guy?
He's walking in the ESPN.
He's walking in the ESPN hallways.
I think he's with Scott Van Pell, or John Anderson.
And he's walking and the elevator opens up and it's the Florida Gator mascot.
And so Irwin, he's like, oh, we got a live one here.
And then he jumps in and tackles him and tries to like wrangle him because that's what he does.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
I think maybe you showed me this
but the one where Stuart Scott is like training Kevin Garnett
to be like better like more dramatic or something
it's like no you gotta say this
Brian oh is Kobe
is KG and no is
I can't remember if it is KG and Kobe or Kishon Johnson and Kobe
God what a poll
but like for them to like
those guys had to say yeah right imagine
turned down an ESPN commercial, but
was that like a sketch or a
commercial? I think both.
I think they used it as both.
Because there's Kenny Main
and Stuart Scott with those two dudes
training them about how like, they're like, hey, at ESPN,
we do our duty to help athletes
and with media training.
And you think that it's going to be them
teaching them about like how the right way is to do it.
But then Sue Scott's just,
like Kobe, come on.
Somebody's all on your grill.
What do you say to him?
What do you say to him?
And then he gets like,
you know,
he starts cussing and shit and it's money.
I'm trying to think of other ones
that are good off the top of my head.
You know better than I do.
The one where Scott Van Peltz is just sitting in a throne
in his cubicle in King James.
He's like,
you're in my seat.
And Scott Van Pelt's like,
what are you talking about?
He goes, hey,
you see my chair?
And it's just clearly his throne.
No, I have it.
LeBron.
He's like, oh, are you sure?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah, that one's money.
That one's super good.
Even, hey, I like the ones when there's just no words that happen.
Like, the one where like Tiger Woods would just be walking through with the gallery.
There's like 800 people following him through the cubicles.
And that's it.
Oh.
Just this is Sports Center pops up.
Oh, man.
Cold, bro.
Who's making those?
Step forward.
let me hug you.
Hey, Christmas Eve this year.
Fire up the reruns on ESPN2.
They still do it?
They still do that?
Hey, I always check.
I always check.
Hey, hit me up for that.
I'll come by.
Hey, I always check just in case.
Because sports are my life.
We haven't talked about sports one podcast.
Thank God.
Yeah, I know.
All right, TG 100.
Wow.
hell yeah dude
we've been
I started this what like October of 22
and we've been going two years now
and the clubhouse just keeps growing man
and that's all goes to show
and the emails that we get every week
and the comments that we get on YouTube
and the tweets and the DMs
that we get on Instagram and Twitter and everything
and hell yeah it's awesome
like we always tell you we love doing it
and we love having you guys on board with us
so appreciate it and
here's still 100
more.
Oh my God.
So bad.
My grass is like,
hey.
But yeah,
like, hey,
I need some water.
Now,
tell the homies,
get them in the clubhouse.
Think about you every day,
clubhouse.
Keep sending emails.
Comment,
random football players on any video we have.
It could be the,
Comment under here.
Comment under anywhere.
Tell the burpee girls,
but we're going to keep cranking out the pods
and they're just going to get better and better.
Going on tour soon to come see you guys.
But send the old jerseys.
Send the stupid subject email lines.
Stuff makes my week for sure.
Keep them coming.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Get your tickies to go see Benny Boy.
And like I said,
Drafking Sportsbook download it.
Sign up using Joey,
Joe E. Y deposit $5.
Burby Boy,
don't get Burby Boy,
but you get $250 bonus bets
and really appreciate that.
And yeah,
until then,
we will talk to you next week,
Clubhouse,
Lorenzo Neal.
Charlie Badge.
