THESE GUYS! - GameCube Gang
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Transcript
Discussion (0)
A chop deliver.
You gave your mom a fucking Rossi shirt.
Yeah.
You didn't pick up your fucking care.
Guarantee he saw it.
Went like this.
Nope.
Go dog.
TG.
34.
34.
Carrie Wood.
Walter Payton.
Hey,
we got shows.
We got parties.
We got a bunch of stuff coming up.
The Vogue on the 25th.
We do, man.
We're going to be there.
25th.
Oh, I got news for you too.
Yeah.
Jack's Donuts is supplying.
10 dozen boxes of donuts.
What's the deal of that?
And that's a real fact.
That's really happening.
Yeah, because I posted that little promo on my story and I was like, come throw donuts at me and Ben's head.
And Jack's donuts just replied to me and was like, could we provide those donuts, Joey?
And I was like, sure.
They don't care.
How does 10 dozen sound?
I was like, fucking great.
Let's do it.
I know.
I'm hitting up after this show.
So that's going to be there.
I just did Willie Griswold's pod today.
It was a blast of bits and pieces podcast.
We were chopping it up, promoting the Vogue on the 25th.
Willie's going to be there.
DJ C-Buck's going to be in there on the ones and twos.
Oh, God, geez.
And Ben's going to be on the couch, get a little bit of these guys feeling there.
Just sleeping.
He's bringing the leg.
He's going to bring the infamous leg.
Should I?
Bringing the leg and a loaf of bread.
Is that how this is going to be?
It's just going to be a shit show, bro.
I'll just bring a bloody leg and have donuts thrown out my head, though,
Who's not going to that?
Exactly.
So that's happening.
That's next Thursday.
May 25th.
Tickets still available.
Yeah.
So hope to see it's going fast.
And probably like, yeah.
It's,
I mean,
I'm ratching up the promo game.
I'm like,
I went on Hinch and Rossi's podcast.
I went on Willie's podcast.
I'm going on Bob and Tom next week.
No way, bro.
Yeah.
Shut up.
9 a.
Yeah.
Selling machine guns.
Uh,
uh,
Yep. So it's happening.
I got to tell my dad.
Tuesday, Tuesday morning, 23rd.
That's so Tuesday morning than 23rd.
Dupe, bro.
Yeah, very dupe, very dupe.
So yeah, I want to see you guys there.
I was out at the track last weekend and people were, you know, talking about the Vogue show.
They're talking about Indiana land.
Two days after, right?
Yeah, Saturday.
That's Saturday before race day, noon to four at Tin Roof, downtown Indy.
had the promo flyer out there,
sending that flyer to everybody.
That shit's,
it's sexy.
But I think that's just the first round.
Like,
we're not done.
Oh,
there's more coming?
I think so.
Oh,
I was looking to do the pictures we took.
And I was like,
dude,
these are too hard to like,
cool picks.
Yeah.
Cool picks.
So,
yeah,
that'll be fun.
Come out to both.
Mm-hmm.
Um, yeah,
it's free to Indiana.
And just slide,
you know,
slide through.
Just come on out.
I know people,
some people are like,
but that's,
I talk some people with the track,
they're like,
That's Legends Day.
Shut up.
Brad Paisley's performing.
I was like, yeah, you know where he's performing?
Downtown.
You know when he's not performing or you know when he is performing?
And the evening time.
So guess what?
You just come to Indiana land and you take like six Red Bull Votkas to the dome.
And then you go over to Brad Paisley and you do the chicken bar you taste so good.
Because that's all I know from him.
Brad Paisley.
He's the guy on the commercials with Peyton.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
of them but I mean, come on.
Not all state.
Progressive?
No, that's flow.
I don't fucking know.
Whenever those nationwide, maybe.
It can warm you taste so good.
Just rolling Brad Paisley through the mud, bro.
But yeah, come out.
So it's next week.
That's next week.
All info in the description of the pot.
Going to be hot.
It's going to be hot.
People last week were, we got the AIM names going on YouTube.
and I was really getting a kick out of a lot of them.
That was great, dude.
Can I talk about someone?
One was like Wutang Clan 69.
He's like still use it.
Yeah, right there.
John Calendrillo,
Wu-Tang 89, 15 years old.
I still use it at stores when they ask for email.
Hell yeah.
So it's for.
Thomas Brazier.
My AIM screen name was skating with the eight.
Skating Bones.
Skating with the eight was a whole revolution, dude.
They started making shirts at Coles.
to like skater die with an eight.
And I was like, we're really doing this.
This guy, Zbed, Zach Attack 144.
I'm like, if you had the name Zach from 2004 to 2008, whatever, if you're putting on a t-shirt,
if it was your nickname on your football helmet, if it was your AIM screen name, attack immediately.
So good.
Zach attack.
So good.
It just had to be.
Oh, Evan Knox, Hard Knox.
Hard Knox.
Hard-nox 350.
Damn, dude.
That's pretty cool.
That's pretty cool.
That's that's real good.
Jordan H.
Fear Not 4110.
Jesus Christ, bro.
That's intense.
You okay?
Definitely like a motocross guy.
Hey, here's a baseball one for you.
Here's a baseball one for you.
From Brady Myers, South Paul 2136.
Jesus Christ, man.
Anybody with the left hand?
Hey, South Paul!
South Paul.
I remember the first time my dad told me about that, bro.
I was like, shut up, dude.
Here we go.
He's a South Paul.
I love dropping that if I'm doing baseball.
Really?
South paw, dude.
They go to the bullpen and he gives a signal for the Southpaw and we'll be back after
this message from roasted peanuts.
Top three favorite things dad say.
South paw.
OBO or best offer.
A dad loves telling you what the fuck OBO means.
I'd give that thing probably 300 OBO.
What's OBO?
Let me tell you this, Southpaw.
How about from Eric Anson?
the fireman coming
Oh yeah
That's my shit
The fireman coming
Was really big in a little Wayne
Hey can't tell
Just a real shit
Chauvin AIM name
I love it like so temporary
Like doesn't think long term with it at all
Right
At that very moment
It's like that goes so hard
I love people like that
Until you think about having to tell the girl
What your AIM name is
And how to find you
That's a shh
if our man coming.
It has sh before it.
How do you spell it?
At one ass, two ages.
That's just enough.
That's so hard.
It's just enough.
How about this one from Shaley Marie?
Pink Monkey fur?
I don't know if that's like a...
Sounds kind of horny.
Sounds a little horny there.
I don't know if that's...
Is that a girl?
Probably in some internet chats with some people...
Anything called Pink Monkey? I'm like, eh.
Way too old for you.
That's getting flagged on the...
corporate browser.
Yeah.
And it's a tract in the wrong crowd there.
Oh, Bing Monkey.
Horny alert.
Nick Clegghorn.
It was just Keghorn.
It's a good name.
He's got a good real name.
One word.
We've always been about the one way.
That's great.
How about us getting so like boring and just using our real names?
What if we did that for Instagram?
The fireman coming for Instagram?
Benedict Politsi, Joey Mulnero.
Why don't we have anything cool?
I mean, what do you want?
What do you want?
Follow me.
Pink Monkey 69.
Brands and shit reaching out.
Hello, Pink Monkey 69.
We would love, we love your page.
We would love that would be getting a lot of those messages.
You ever dive into your requested messages?
I love it.
I love all of them.
It's all just like two followers, no profile picture.
Hello there, sweetie.
I found your page on the Explorer page and I love your work.
This is so, such a foreign guy.
spelling everything kind of wrong.
There's like two spaces after like a word.
I'm like, eh.
Why does that become a thing when people get older,
the older generation,
the spaces are all fucked up?
Like,
whenever you do an extra space,
it puts a period there,
so you had to go back
and do the extra space.
The extra space makes me just want to crawl in a hole,
dude.
Two spaces and then a period.
I'm like,
what the fuck?
Are you okay?
You haven't a stroke?
The little orphan period out there?
Oh,
where's that belong to?
Yeah, what word did you take out that I need to know?
Is that at the end of the sentence?
Or is that just like...
Orphan period.
Do you drop something?
Do you drop your phone before you sent this?
Oh, shit.
Oh, I'd already send it.
Dude, you'll never guess what I did before this.
You'll literally never...
Actually guess.
Just give me one thing.
Well, he said never guess.
So I was either going to go with you went somewhere and got like a shitload of sweets.
You like went to needlers and just got a half dozen donuts or something.
or like a package of cinnamon cake.
That'd be so good.
This is what I did.
I don't know.
I went to the Motor Speedway 20 minutes ago.
You went to IMS?
IMS, the track.
Okay.
And I traded Alexander Rossi,
a four pack of Frank's Red Hot Misholadas,
and a bag of Doritos ketchup chips for a fire suit.
Are you serious?
It's in my car right now.
You're lying.
I swear to God,
I just pulled up at the museum and I was like,
what's up?
We doing this?
He goes, dude, this is like a drug deal.
We just flipped, took a pick and I was out, bro.
Came right here.
Got the fire suit in my car.
What fire suit?
It was like pink and blue.
It goes so hard.
I almost started crying.
Like when I pulled out of the motor speedway or whatever,
because I like blacked out.
Every time I see somebody that I'm like,
I look up to.
I like black out.
So I was driving back and it all kind of hit me.
I started screaming, dude,
because the suit was so dope.
Let me see the picture.
Oh, fuck, I don't think...
Hold on.
Wow, so you're really going to be fire suit in Indiana land
and I'm going to be fucking Stephen Glansberg by myself?
Get one, bro.
What am I supposed to hit up Ross and say?
Hey, man, you gave one to bend?
Can I get one?
Literally, yeah.
Trade him for something.
Jesus Christ.
You got the goods for him.
I don't have anything.
I was on a show this morning and he didn't say nothing to me.
How hard is that?
Dude, that suit is so sick.
I'm sleeping in this.
Dude.
that's the Auto Nation Andretti Autosport
You pulled up the pink
Napa, Napa know-how
It says made in Italy
in the tag on the inside
I was like, bro.
Bro.
I know.
I'm still like high from it.
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna face time.
I'm right now.
Really?
FaceTime him right now
and we're gonna make this happen
because I was on his show this morning
he didn't say shit to me about it
and then he goes
and then he goes
what he say?
he goes, I was there promoting the Vogue and he was like, oh yeah, I don't, he was like,
what, I don't know anything about this. I was like, thanks for following. He's like, what do you
want for me? And I was like, I just was saying, like, you put, I put it on my story like every day.
What do you mean? What is this? I'm going to face it. This dude's cool as shit.
No, he's no way he's in this. You think he'll pick up? No, not a chance. He's going to,
he's going to deny it after the third ring. This is the second ring. Here's the third ring.
didn't deny it
he's in a McLaren meeting right now
so pissed
definitely not gonna answer
god damn way dude right when we get off this podcast
though hey what's up dude
no he's such a bitch he like
he like I would
I've like texted him like funny stuff before
and he's hilarious dude he'll just hit me with the
he'll just hit me with the
the ha ha like
the press on the text and then the ha ha
reaction
dude he's so funny
I go good thing nobody saw us do that bro
we would have arrested he goes bummer we didn't
no we
Ross he's a good guy
I just we have one of those relationships
where you just give each other shit a lot
I love that that's the best relationship you can have
yeah with anybody a girl a dude
if you're just constantly just like being like
you piece of shit it's so much fun
he thinks I'm real low class because I shop at like old Navy
and everything I'm like yeah so what
what of it
you want to know you think that's bad and you want to where else i shop shirt
like bro me and my wife are heading up goodwill every other day
they got some gems what you know about goodwill james exactly and he's like yeah he's never
been to an old navy like the hell's a matter with you grew up in old navy who didn't
those fitting rooms i was born in that fitting room it's just because you know he's got he's
won the indy 500 and he has partnerships with tag hoyer which i thought was tag heuer
because that's how it's spelled and I don't know how to read it.
Hey, never been in a tag hewer.
That's a watch company.
I think.
I don't even know.
It's a watch brand.
He's talking shit.
He gave me shit because I don't know what tag.
I didn't know how to pronounce tag Hoyer, which that's how you pronounce it apparently,
but I still like to do hewer better.
And I gave him shit because he's never been in Old Navy before.
Big shoes off guy, that Alexander Rossi.
Is he?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
I'm so shoes on, but I've been wearing shoes in my apartment.
Just sitting there.
In my bed sometimes.
Dude, he, like, his motor home, like, if you go on that, you kick him off, dog.
You can't even take them off.
Like, you can't even step up into it and then, like, have a little area where your shoes are.
You have to leave them outside the bus.
It's that's serious.
He's clean like that.
Yeah.
So he had a nice, nice, like, like haircut going.
Like, I noticed as he drove away.
I was like, dude, that dude's fresh.
Well, it's a big week.
you know, practice and everything.
500's coming up.
Next week's a big week, bro.
Is he, is he a haircut a weak guy?
I don't know.
If he would have answered the FaceTime,
I could have asked him.
You guys okay?
I'm pissed.
We getting a little Mollard right now?
Can you Molnard off for Rossi?
It's just like, dude, what do you want for me?
You know, I put on, I buy your gear, I wear your gear,
I buy your, I buy a, a month.
Mother's Day gift for my mom the past two years has been an Alexander Rossi shirt.
Really?
She loves Rossi.
We do all the support.
You know, I get to him to sign a thing to my kid, you know.
I love this shit, dude.
I get nothing.
I get no fire suit.
I get no, I get no response on the text.
I get a bullshit reaction.
I get a no face time.
I get him having no idea about what my show is at the Vogue or what the Vogue is.
The fuck is this.
You gave your mom a fucking Rossi shirt.
Yeah.
He didn't pick up your fucking care.
Guarantee he saw it, went like this.
Nope.
Face down too.
Don't anybody see he's calling me.
I love the guy now, even more.
Fucker.
Favorite driver, Rossi.
Yeah, and you're giving a fire suit,
and he's going to have the dope fire suit.
You know what he said to me?
I go, dog, I can just really keep this.
He goes, yeah, man.
I go, how many of these you got?
He goes, way too many.
All right.
Well, that's happening.
now. I'm getting one.
Hey, we'll see.
Yeah, no shit. He's going to be a little prick. I almost wore it in here.
He's going to be a little prick and not give me one. And I'm going to hold that over him
though. I'm going to hold it. I'm going to say, no, no, no, no, no. I got this on good authority.
Like, come on, man, you know, Rossi, Politi, Molanero, Paezan, it just fits. Let's go.
Come on.
The mafia.
All right. That's cool, though.
So pissed. So pissed.
Mad, me.
Mad meter.
Never doing a show again.
So if anybody else, you know, that's what we're doing with Indiana land.
You know, if you can find, get your hands on a fire suit.
For those who don't know, fire suit is just the, you know, uniform that the drivers wear when they're in the car.
They thought we were talking about a fireman suit this whole time.
A hose, a hat, a Dalmatian.
I'm ready for the party.
There's a big, yeah, there's a few females out there listening that are like,
oh, yeah, I want to bend to wear the fireman suit with the suspense.
benders and a calendar wife beater fully clothed it's just like a big onesy pretty much is what
it is you know what it is you know i am wearing it to bed tonight it does have you tried it on yet
no just got back bro seems comfy it does doesn't seem too hot so so i could literally run through a
fire in that and not get burnt i don't know you want to test it out it literally feels like a buzz
light year onesie boss boss yeah
Did everybody have that toy?
I tried to do that.
No, I never could get Buzz.
Buzz, Buzz.
Buzz was too expensive.
I had it.
I somehow had that shit.
It was like some Christmas shit.
It was some kind of fluky thing
because my parents were not buying me.
Buzz, dude.
It was, it had to be like $45.
Yeah.
That motherfucker was legit.
He could go into space with that suit on.
Just for the box alone, too.
It's a spaceship.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Come on.
No, I was just getting Woody.
Maybe Slink.
Who's Slink the dog?
Yeah.
Hey Woody.
Woody was, it was a nice.
Dude, Buzz was just so cool, though.
But I do have something everybody can put in the comments this week.
Oh, give it to me.
All right.
The video game you played growing up that just had you in a chokehold.
Doesn't need to be mainstream.
It doesn't need to be mad in 2013 or something.
some shit like that.
Just the game, it could be kind of weird too.
What's the weird game you played when you're a kid that you're just like, man?
Like you're a little too obsessed with it.
You started to talk to your like cousins about it and shit.
And they're like, what is this guy talking about?
Yeah, I got one.
You ready?
Scooby-Doo on the GameCube.
It was like that.
I had a version on the computer that was like, I gotta keep playing this.
You had Scooby-Doo was yours too?
Well, no.
Not yours.
I just went through a little phase on the computer.
the computer like it was so it was on some weird shit computer games man so weird yeah anybody yeah
it's like how people think when they're like oh you did that on t you you did that with them on
tv no just tictock oh like that's like the computer version what no way dude you got that on game
cube no pc uh it was it everybody knew the kid with that had that played computer games growing up
i was like you play that shit on computer like how do you even how i know i have no idea why but like
nobody I don't know
I just didn't have a PlayStation yet
So I was just rocking like Sims
Because I got to look up exactly what it is
For the purpose of
Um
Hey dude shoes
Scooby-Doo
Uh
Say fuck
Scooby-Doo
Scooby-Doo had some games
Bro
Game Cube
Here we go
Yep
Scooby-Doo mystery
Mayhem right there
God's a nice cover
I get it
This is dope
That's dope
You're a GameCube
GameCube gang
Oh, God. GameCube. I'll never forget that day. My parents surprised me and my sister and got some GameC.
It was a big time. Big time. The Spider-Man game that he's on there too. You're just slinging webs around NYC.
Anywhere? Doing whatever you want. It was like Grand Theft Auto only Spider-Man kind of. You could just go anywhere.
I always would be like, but where is that connecting to? I guess it's just the sky. You know, like you didn't have to try to connect it. Like it was just hooking on shit.
A game like that now, I feel like they would be like you would actually have to like, find.
latch on to like corners of buildings.
And it's like and that one, you just literally kept
you're just connecting to the sky.
I feel like I mastered that game, that Spider-Man game.
That one was a lot of fun.
GameCube was so nasty.
So ahead of its time.
SSX tricky.
That's mine.
Ooh.
So fun.
I was so into that game, dude.
I remember eating dinner in seven seconds just so I could just go back and play it.
You ever eat dinner in 19 seconds?
He could run back to it.
And your mom was like, no!
You only get 10 more minutes on that thing.
Even if it's a shitty dinner that you don't want
And it's including gone
Peas and like diced pineapples
That are real soggy and gross
You just house that shit
Doesn't even matter
Don't even drink it
Don't even drink your drink
It's just still full on the table
You're gone
Rinse off your plane
You don't even eat the thing
That's like the one part of the meal
That you would like
You go in on the shit
That your mom is always just like
You need to finish that
You need to have those
You need to have your
And you just you know going in
you're like okay I'm gonna go straight for those bitches
so that she got nothing to say
just wrap this up right now let's just
end it didn't even have your chicken
yeah but you always want to eat my piece
gone up the stairs
door closes
I mastered it dude SSX tricky
give it a beat and then you get a
then you get a
it's your dad
oh my god
you gotta pause it
and parents like don't understand the
process of playing
online. You're like, I can't just pause it right now.
I'm like playing someone. Now I'm being rude
to them. Damn, I never had that.
I did for like three years. I was hardcore
online. I was so bad.
You? Yeah. Who is this man?
It's like PS2 online?
I wasn't playing like, whoa.
I love you. Oh, you weren't
playing. I wasn't playing tricky online.
You weren't playing the internet. Like, you
weren't playing an actual person. You were just playing
the computer? No, I was playing
an actual person. Like for a minute there, like
for two years of my life. On PS2? On PS2?
2.
Dude, PS2 had online.
Dude, I had to, like,
my parents knew nothing about the internet.
So I had to, like, go to my friend's house
and, like, look at what router he had?
And, like, so what's that cord called?
He's, like, an Ethernet cord.
I'd, like, figure out the internet for my house
so I could play PS2 online.
They had...
What?
Yeah, dude.
If our internet went out there, like,
I don't know, I've been, bro.
And I'd be on customer service,
like 14 years old just in the backyard
for, like, two and a half hours.
I still never call.
customer service.
Bro, I was...
Don't get the time.
I was the tech.
Dude, I was it, bro.
I figured out the internet.
But, uh, yeah, dude, I'd play PS2, like college football online and just play dudes from like,
you know, this guy's ranked like, you know, I'd just be like, shoot my shot.
This guy's like a hundred and third in the country.
And I'm like a nobody.
You got an N.A.
next year name.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Pope Benedict 16 username.
And I was like, let's roll, bro.
And they were, they would beat the shot.
shit out of me.
Like on some like 64 to nothing.
Every time I threw a pass interception.
I was like, what the fuck?
How does that happen?
Every time they'd catch it over their head.
I'm like, dude, I would get lucky if I did that one time each year.
It was always like user pick every time.
Or they would come and it was like a truck stick and they would do some crazy way to tackle
where they would kind of like slow down and you're like, fuck, I'm about the fumble.
Every time.
I was like, do you guys have like codes?
Dude, one time I was playing Ohio State in this.
center snapped it and it went right to Ted Ginn instead of the quarterback. It's like,
it glitched on you? No, he just like knew something. Like yeah. He knew a glitch. Yeah, he knew he knew a
glitch and he was just running me, bro. It's like Mario Kart. If you do a Wario, uh,
yeah, everybody knows the little shortcut where you can hop over the fence, little glitch.
You'd love a little bit. Or you'll ramp right over and if you time to jump just enough as you're
going, it'll hop you over so you just cut ahead of everybody. Oh, dude, I would I would just keep
going back and forth. Then people would be running. I'd be getting laughing shit, but I knew if I just
hit it, I'd be good to go. It's not fair. And then you could get to the point where you could
jump over that so you'd be ahead of everybody like the middle of the track. But then you could turn
around right there and try to jump over. You could hit the glitch just right and jump over. This is in
college, by the way. And jump over that and you could land back. So it'd be like you'd done a full lap,
even though you've just done like two jumps and you'd cross the finish line. And it'd be a
like a full lap. It happened very rarely, but when it did, oh, mama. You were talking shit.
Oh, yeah. You're on cloud nine, dude. What's up, bitch? Absolutely cloud nine. Yeah, mine was Scooby-Doo murder or mystery
mayhem. That was my like, odd, not your traditional NCAA or Madden or NBA Street,
volume two. That was the one that I would just freaking be going ham on all the time. Yeah. Scooby-Doo, bro.
Was it like set at night?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I played to Scootoo computer game and I would get low-key scared playing it.
I'd get scared, bro.
If it was nighttime and, you know, we were, we were creeping into the fall.
Maybe it was kind of Halloween time out.
You look at your window.
Somebody's got a weird goblin.
You're like, I got to get a bed, bro.
You're a little spooked.
I got scared how.
I was playing Scooby-Doo computer game.
That's the most bitch shit.
You ever tell somebody how you got scared?
Oh, man, that sucks.
I just like looked at my.
my bathroom and it looked funny so I went to bed. That's how I got scared last night.
Dude, now we just, I mean, you're scrolling on TikTok and you see just, you pop to a,
you pop to a video on your feet and it's just some dude staring directly into the ring camera.
You can hear the music, dude. When do you know, it's going to be a scary TikTok and I want to watch it.
I'm like, I got to, I want to watch it so bad. I want to watch it so bad.
I watch all of them, dude.
Yeah, there's just one that's been popping up on my for you page and it's like, there's like
object and it's chasing you around this like big house.
It's like POV.
This is like running.
And they look behind.
And one time it was Elmo and I was like, oh my God.
And then Elmo was just like, he's like, okay, he's chasing me today.
And he turns around and it's just Elmo like this.
He starts running.
I'm like, go, go, go.
That is real close to home for me, man, because Frank loves Elmo, dude.
Watch Elmo all the time.
You're going to hear Elmo in the middle of the night next.
Oh, dude.
tonight,
4.30 in the morning.
Play with me.
Elbow's word.
Na,
nah,
nah,
nah,
nah,
nah,
nah,
nah,
nah,
P.
Elmo's
shut the
fuck up.
It is super cute,
though.
He does the
happy dance
and Frank gets all
excited.
And he,
like,
kind of does it
with him.
It's great.
What do you thought
Elmo was Disney,
though?
Oh,
dude,
yeah.
Oh.
Whoops, that's not Disney.
Elmo's song.
Elmo's Word.
La La La.
Yeah, so there it is.
Video game.
You can drop that in the YouTube comments or on the review.
Just put whatever it is.
The monkey ball game, the rolling monkey ball game.
My dad had that on his phone.
The monkey ball game?
He had like a decent.
Is that what it was called?
Yeah, it's called Monkey Ball.
Dude, that was.
He had like a low-key, like downgraded, like,
watered down phone version of monkey ball.
Just enough to get him by in a waiting room.
No way.
My dad's not fucking with phone games, but I would be like, can I see your phone?
We were at like a Colts game.
It was like Colts Titans.
I was like, can I see your phone?
I was just playing monkey ball in like the third quarter and shit.
Your dad's, he's never been more disappointed to have you.
Oh, yeah.
I never even thought about that how much I never paid attention to football.
He's just so not proud.
No way, dude.
He's like, Jesus Christ, man.
It's because, dude, I told you, man.
The reason I'm like, I can't, like, pay attention to football shit
is because I would go downstairs and he'd be rewinding and fast-forwarding football games.
And I'd go down there and just be like, Jesus Christ.
So then when we were watching film, like in college, I'd be like, holy shit.
PTSD, bro.
Just take you back.
You're getting to a trance.
Yeah.
Fucking.
Football.
Football.
Football.
So some football.
Rewind.
Fast forward some football.
I was like, are you fucking with me?
Catches the past.
Back to the beginning.
I'm like, you're fucking.
You're literally torturing me.
Press play and lead it.
If anybody, you know, if there's any anybody who's looking at a traffic bin or get him in captivity and torture them.
That's the way, bro.
No electric chair.
No waterboard.
Just put on the all 22 grainy.
grainy VHS of like
UND versus Grand Valley State in
1998. I'm watching that bro.
No, you're not because they're not playing it.
They're just playing the kickoff back
over and over again.
Gets the point where he catches the kickoff and you're thinking
that he's going to return it. Okay. And then they just rewind
back to the beginning. Yep.
There it is. That's my torture.
That's, yeah. It could be another
what's yours, bro. What's your torture?
Listening
to somebody
talk about
a picture and calling it pitcher.
I cannot stand with people mispronounce words.
Why is it okay for them?
And they not only...
Why can we check them either?
Right.
And not only do they just say picture one time
in the long,
fucking elongated story that they're talking about,
they have to use the word
that they mispronounce a million times.
Got to say it's six more times than you normally will.
So they gave me this picture.
Oh.
And I put it in my picture frame.
but then I couldn't remember where I put my other pitchers.
I got to go to the bathroom.
I'm like, your pitchers?
Are we out in the fucking kitchen cabinet right now?
Pitchers a lemonade.
Or in the ball diamond?
Pitcher.
Are you kidding me?
It's great.
I'm so happy that someone gets this mad about people that mispronounce words.
I cannot stand it.
Like football and how we say football.
I mean, that's just like, that makes sense.
This is what you're dropping one letter.
and it's something you're going quick and that's everybody pitcher it's a totally different
thing you're an idiot it's multiple different things so many other we could talk about this all day
if we and i want to pitcher milk pitcher in the mound pitcher in the rye picture in the rye picture
say the sea dude oh also that yeah yeah okay so pitcher as picture and
churn as turn.
No way.
Dude, my grandpa hits it so...
Can you churn right here?
Well, yeah, we just need to churn around.
We got butter here, Grandpa?
Have you ever hit him with that?
Oh, dude, every time.
Now that I've gotten older and I'm less afraid of my grandpa, you know, because when I was young,
I was terrified of him, you know?
But now I fully just give him shit.
What's he say back?
He just, like, snort laughs and just, like, mumbles.
Does he know what he's saying?
Does he know what he's, what he's fucking up here?
Every time he says it, I'm like, Grandpa, I don't got any butter for you.
We're not churning anything.
Why don't they change?
And just keeps going with the churn.
Yeah, Joe, Joe, just churn around.
What?
Okay, you had a birthday party.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's Logan's churn.
No!
That's just an example because he would never be paying attention to any of the kid shit, you know?
instead of both both
I'm like where'd the yell come from
I just want to quiz you real quick spell it
yeah I don't want that one
I want both oh
I'm naked neither
you hick
both it's just
all these words are just Chuck Pagana
God
and Joe we're gonna turn
we're gonna turn things around
you know we got both
offensive defensive guys that can
you know
rather really put together a good pitcher
Shut up!
Dude, smack him.
You should be allowed to literally kick people in the knee.
Ooh.
Nice knee kick.
Yeah, or the back of it, you know.
No, I say front on.
Ooh, shit.
What's up?
Reconstructive knee surgery.
It's what you get.
Sorry, it's what you get.
If I said both and somebody fucking tore my ACL, I'd be like, you're right.
I totally understand.
tries to get it covered under insurance and don't allow it.
What happened?
Dropped an owl in there.
Oh, yeah, you're fucked.
Yeah, you're on your own.
You're gonna 030K.
Lesson learned, I hope.
Hey, right here, this is not a pretty picture.
Gun.
Mispronunciation gun.
You die right here in this restaurant.
No, mispronunciation gun, and that's where you're just, you're just shooting like a fucking, you know, piece of plywood at their knee case.
Oh, God.
They deserve it.
literally deserve it.
Pronunciation police.
No,
and they take a field hockey stick
and they just chop the shit out of your life.
Do it again.
Man,
how about those days playing field hockey and P.E., huh?
I don't think.
I was like,
this is not going to catch on.
Field hockey is that weird
looking candy cane thing.
That's a dumbest sport of all time.
I'm like,
this is bullshit.
They're literally clubs.
Yeah,
it's like really blunt at the end.
What country club are we at right now?
Do I play that?
It looks like a country club looking thing.
I don't know where they play, man.
That is not going to catch on.
I'm like, can we just play the main ones?
I think it's hilarious when like a university
as a field hockey team.
I'm like, are you guys serious?
It's always like the mom of a football player too.
Like a football player, they'll be like, yeah, his dad.
He's got quite the gene line.
His dad was the left guard for the Louisiana State football team.
And then his mother, well, she was quite the athlete.
herself. She picked up the field hockey
stick. It was a three-year
letterman. Those goofy looking like
goggle mask they have to wear.
I think you think of lacrosse. Oh yeah?
Lacrosse has got like the web
stick. Yeah, I get that one.
That's lacrosse. I'm all fucked up. What's field
what do they wear for field hockey? I don't think they wear
anything. Like I think they wear just like
I think they just wear like shorts and like a baggy jersey
hopefully shin guards because you're beating
the shit out of each other with those sticks.
It's not a stick. It's a club. It's a stupid.
sport. I'd take cricket over that.
They tried shoving that down our throats and some PE classes.
Yeah, what was going on there? Cricket!
I was like, again?
Come on.
Let's just, let's just do baseball, you know?
Stick to the main four and move on.
Let's just do baseball.
Your PE teacher. What a nightmare.
Everybody's PE teacher was and still is.
That's just like a widely regarded teacher.
Are you a nightmare?
Yeah, PE teacher.
Do you know anything about sports?
Not really.
P.E. teacher.
Are you in shape?
You don't have a drink a lot of beer.
P.E. teacher.
Have you almost gone to jail like six times?
Yeah.
P.E. teacher.
Do you get mad really quick and almost like yell a kid into transferring schools?
P.E. teacher.
Do you just refuse to wear anything but like gray sweatpants and a Navy crew neck?
P.E. teacher.
You kind of, you kind of way too horny?
Is the top of your hair still spiky, but it's thinning and then you have a baltsoir on the back of your head?
P.E. T. For sure, dude. Putting that, putting the gel in in the morning. So, yeah. Trying to hold on that. So hard. Putting that got to be in there on the front. P.E. teacher. Definitely, like, has, like, a fling with one of the students. P.E. teacher.
wants to
hates the guys
but also wants to buy them
beer and party with them
on the weekend
B E teacher
Is your name
Rob
PET
you make your voice
deeper
when
it's not really
that deep to begin with
PED teacher
Do you use
the
soapbox
that is your class
to lecture your students who just want to play dodgeball
about something really
minute and not that important.
Be a teacher.
There was always one like fun gym day that you had though.
If it was in like high school or there's always one like thing that you're like,
bro, that was fun as fuck.
That was like way too fun to be done in school.
Best time of your life.
You're laughing your ass off at everything.
He's good at this?
like war spandex.
You're like,
and then you're doing
the cool fun thing.
It's great.
It's always like one weird game
that you're like,
oh,
this is gonna suck.
Wait,
this is fucking,
people are trying and shit?
All right,
let's go.
Let's play.
Get weirdly competitive
and you're like,
ah,
this is not that important,
but I guess we're sweating
through our ass
during English next period
because I'm going hard.
So sweaty after gym.
That was so wild too
how growing up
where we went to school,
you didn't have a uniform.
changing gym.
Just sweaty ass all day.
You just went in khakis and just, good luck.
Well, even when we did switch, like in high school, we like, you know, we like wore
P.E. shit.
And then we switched back into our school clothes.
Sweat fast, dude.
Yeah, but at least it's not like the direct swamp ass.
You could at least like air out a little bit and not have direct swamp ass.
Bro, we were in grade school.
We were just out there fucking running post routes and khaki pants.
So, dude.
And like September.
six you're like
92 degrees out here
no one thought
anything was wrong with that
and then we would get
like lectures from the
principal or like
the higher ops being like
now remember
your bodies are changing
so it's important
to take
pretty you know
it's important to take
care of your
deodorant
and preventative measures
it's like bitch
we just played five base
I just had to
fucking
absolutely
spike the hell out of
a volleyball
and the Teresa Carper's face.
Volleyball is fun to play in P.E.
I would get down with that.
So I'm like,
the girls are already like naturally good.
Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
We're at disadvantaged,
so we got to try pretty hard.
And then like you have like three girls
that are in your class
that are like actually really good.
And then your boys got to play that team.
They're on the travel team.
Yeah.
They're on the travel team.
They're on the club team.
Yeah,
they wear the backpack.
Mm-hmm.
Oh,
that backpack goes hard.
I always wanted to steal one.
Circle City backpack.
Just rocking that.
What's up?
Yeah,
I don't know
whose it is.
But they won
Nationals in Kentucky
last year.
All had their names
and numbers on them
and everything
and like their bandanas
So much,
so much gear, bro.
Yeah.
You know what there's a lot
of gear in?
It's cheerleading.
Way too much shit.
My wife did
like competitive cheer
growing up.
Dude.
Ribbons and bow ties.
So many ribbons.
So many bow ties.
So many
uniform matchups.
So many.
So many uniforms.
I'm like,
who's paying for you guys
uniforms?
So much makeup.
So much bedazzled stuff.
Dazzle everywhere.
So many moms who are so pissed.
So many pissed.
That's got to be the worst mom, right?
No, we did this.
We established that.
It's one of the ones we missed.
Yeah, I just felt bad because my mother-in-law is a football mom and it's your mom,
so I didn't want to get too direct.
And I heard my father-in-law are like die-hard listeners to the show,
so they hear everything.
Whoops.
But it's you.
no no i don't think they went down there with the uh with the with the with the cowbell i don't know
i could be wrong but yeah i need you to uh you're out at the track when i wasn't even there man i
got the you're right there by my motor home that sounds so funny yeah he was just like pull up
at the museum i was like okay like i've done it every day for the past 19,000 years i just
i was like this is something's going to be illegal here i'm going to need like a
pass or something.
Yeah, would you tell the yellow shirts?
Nothing. I just looked at it. I'm going to go,
drove right in.
Wow.
He goes, museum. I go, yeah.
That's insane because I literally have a parking pass and a motorhome inside the track
and I have to have like a six minute conversation with every yellow shirt every time I go on there.
And if I try to like pull away just like I'm supposed to, you know, and just go about it,
I'll literally see them in my window.
Oh my God.
What do you think I'm doing here?
trying out.
I have a fucking museum sticker on my car.
So you go home.
I told her I my goal this year is to not be Molinard with the yellow shirts.
Oh, you were.
You were lighting them up.
Because it was like, dude, I mean, every time without fail last year.
And I have, you know, you ever, I feel like everybody wants to have like the parking pass with the credential, everything that I have.
And every single time, they'd be like such a fucking pain in the ass about it.
It's all those guys.
have going for him.
And so I made a vow that no matter what,
this year when I'm going out there,
I will just be very polite.
I will take deep breaths.
I will not become bold.
That's going to work for two days.
Day three,
I just saw your ass yesterday.
I did that to some guy last year.
Is it the same guy?
Like you just get and I literally,
I said,
I fucking saw you like an hour ago.
Oh my God.
I wouldn't be able to watch.
I would not.
Because there's certain,
like,
inquisitive and like clues he was just like there's a few yelters they're like they're they really
are they're being gym teachers like they're just they're using what they have to just be dicks
and like that just wasn't flying what was his name probably rob or rick or something one of those
ours gotta so you just fucking your happy ass just pulls on up there we go
Happy ass
Yes
I love it
Is that the first time
you thrown out a happy ass
Because that was perfect
Dude that's what you are
Just giggling and everything
Fucking
Fucking putting on the
Polisi charm
No pass
Nothing
Getting a fire suit
Literally camping out
Inside the goddamn
track every time I go in there
Where are you got to be
We're just
I don't know about that pass
They acted like
I was fucking
I don't even know, bro.
Got this out of Nicole.
For fuck sake.
This perfect timing, dude.
Just could not be more perfect.
I've been waiting for that to happen for like seven weeks.
Me too. Me too.
I almost switched chairs because I wanted it to happen to me.
Yeah.
Probably it would have been better burpee boy times two.
Wow.
What's happening?
Should we just stop?
This is what we're talking.
Just fart, bro.
This is what we're talking about would come out of the pronunciation police gun right here.
This thing.
to the shin, straight to the shin right there. You say both, or you say pitcher as picture,
or you say churn, return, right here.
This is so right. What just happened?
It's just fucking burpid and shit.
We're pulling wood legs out of nowhere.
Talking about the track. What are we doing?
I'm just giving the motor home to this guy
he's just taking it yeah
he'll let you park it on the fucking bricks
dude
looks good
that is that comfortable
no it's not bad it's like
apparently you're supposed to shit like this
I would love to sit like that
that's like my dream
no it's shit like like this is like the hell
like to have your knees kind of higher up
apparently everybody's but it's a new thing I don't know
My mom told me to do that one time
And I was real sick
I was like I have to go to the bathroom
But I can't she goes put your knees up
And I was like what the fuck is she talking about
I was like 13
Knees up knees high knees high knees
Start doing calisthenics in the bathroom
Dude what did hi knees do anything
They're so hard
Is it just designated to just be
That's what the first thing
That you have to do when you're starting calisthenics
I don't know
I don't think any of that shit really does anything
Or we're just not doing them right
Like you have to do it like the A skip
type of thing
where you have to really pull it up.
A skips are sexy looking.
When somebody can hit it right, they look great.
I could never do it.
I was like doing the white guy, A skip.
And then one time in college, like this black dude was like, yo, just be cool.
And I saw him do it and I was like, oh, I have not been being cool.
All right.
Change my A skin forever.
Can you give us a little, can I see how we're supposed to do it?
Because I do it one way.
I don't have enough room here.
I do it one way
But that's no
A skip, dude
You gotta get those bitches up
Nah, dude, see that's not cool
Well, it's not about being cool
It's about warming up the hammies
It's the thing, bro
It's the thing
You see any white guys
Getting those legs up in the Olympics
They're all black dudes being cool
Learn for the best, baby
I just, yeah, now I'm thinking about it
I'm like, yeah, we do that
And like, were the coaches just in on it?
Or are they just like, hey, let's have them do high knees.
They look dumb as shit.
They did like, hey, butt kicks, man.
Ooh, that's a tough one.
Yeah, just stretch.
Like, any of that calisynics shit like that.
It's a good, decent warm up.
But then they're like, 17 laps.
And you're like, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, well, that'll warm us up.
Coach.
Coacher.
Guess calisthenics has turned into conditioning now.
Hey, coach.
When does this turn into conditioning?
So tired.
before practice.
Before games.
When did churn into condition?
Oh, this isn't bad.
Look at this.
Kick it back, dude.
That's how it is now.
Break my legs.
Come on.
My real ones.
Come on.
Well, that's nice.
You're taking that home, dude.
On top of the motorhome in the track,
they let you in.
Yeah, come on.
Bring her in here.
Oh, yeah, that Pulitzer guy.
You got the weird ketchup chips.
Come on.
Catch up chips, huh?
So he's into the weird shit, huh?
I guess.
He just commented.
He saw my micheladas and he was like...
On the show this morning when I was on, there's Tim, their producer, brought up your polite cat calling.
And then Rossi was like, I like the, the, who's buying this?
And then they were talking about how he likes different weird shit.
So he goes, you really try this stuff?
It's like, you know, you're like, do you not watch the videos?
Yeah, you don't watch my shit.
shit either. It's a shame.
Damn shame.
Some ketchup chips though. You said the ketchup
Doritos or just ketchup chips? I haven't tried
them yet. They're ketchup Doritos. Tengie
ketchup. Ooh, see the tangy there.
I bet those are great.
Yeah, I bet those are real good.
Tangy? Come on. I would never buy
them though, you know? If they
were somewhere, I'd eat them. But I would never
be like, oh, you know what? Yeah.
I bet that would be an interesting cookout chip.
You show up with tangy ketchup? That's a conversation
starter. Kind of a gag. Put them in a bowl. Ditch the bag.
A little mystery chip. A little mystery chip.
What are we doing here? Because what's that other Dorito that's not nacho cheese? It's like
a little more red. It's like hot, sweet chili. Yeah. Yeah. Those are good. I would,
those are so good. Those are, those might be better than.
Dude. Where are we at? I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. Thank God.
Cool Ranch Doritos doesn't deserve all the hype they get. It's only because
They're branded cool.
And the blue bag, I think.
The blue bag mixed with the cool shit.
They're really not good.
I mean, they're fine, but they're not like.
Yeah, yeah.
They're going into like girls' Instagram bios.
Like I'd rather be having Cool Ranch Doritos.
You know, I'm like, they're getting that kind of play.
The original is better than Cool Ranch.
And then you get sweet chili and then you get the hot ones.
Sweet chili.
They're all better at Spice.
Sweet chili's a treat, dude, the purple bag.
Those are all better than Cool Ranch.
I said it.
It is.
I'm sorry.
I think you're right.
Thank you.
I just, again, don't get me wrong.
Cool Ranch is good.
Yeah, they're like, they're, they're, uh,
they're like Michigan football.
Wow, yeah.
Couldn't agree more.
They're good.
But like, yeah, they're not going to.
They're not Ohio State or Georgia or Alabama.
They're not going all the way.
No.
Bama's probably the OG Dorito chip.
Georgia's probably sweet chili.
And Ohio State's definitely the
hot version, the flaming version.
I've never been more confident than anything in my life.
Besides?
Hey, what's Oregon?
What chips are Oregon?
Oh, no, okay.
I thought you were talking about Doritos.
We can go anywhere now.
We can go at any conference of chips.
What chips are Oregon?
Hey, sour cream and onion.
They're a little like off the grid,
Kind of weird, kind of like up and coming, kind of like different pringles.
But the, like sour cream and onion pringles?
Yeah, maybe.
Oregon's so sour cream and onion.
Flaming hot Cheetos.
I think you nailed it.
Or is that Florida State?
No, no, I was asking, what's flaming hot Cheetos?
Oh, it could be Florida State.
Could be LSU.
The LSU.
Clemson?
You're good at this.
Clemson's a little dry.
There's something a little like, maybe OG lays.
who's Fritos.
Damn, dude, Nebraska.
Yeah,
court.
Caird.
Fuck yes,
dude.
Notre Dame.
Ew,
bro.
They're probably like
smart pop or some shit.
Smart popcorn.
There's definitely smart pop.
I like that.
I like that.
Who would dill pickle
lays be?
Oh shit.
That might be Oregon.
Yeah,
but Oregon.
They're better than that.
Yeah.
That's where sour cream and I mean,
that's like they're like a traditional power.
Bro, whose barbecue lays in the black bag?
That might be a hostage.
No.
Whisper today because I didn't want the world to know.
Oklahoma.
Oh, shit!
You're so good at this game.
What about Texas?
Oh, God.
Oh, damn.
They're not great.
But they are good.
Maybe lace cheddar sour cream.
Okay.
Ruffles cheddar sour cream.
Nice.
Nice. It's like they used to be the shit.
Uh-huh.
You know?
But lately I'm kind of over it.
Oh, what about just regular lays?
I think that's...
Just like playing...
Is that Clemson?
Like in the yellow bag, just a straight up, kind of greasy.
Mm-hmm.
I was...
They're always kind of like just there.
Yeah.
Man, Frida's Nebraska.
That's...
Oh, there's more where that came from, bro.
That's money.
That's money.
Funnions.
Funnions.
Funnians is
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
This is a weird one.
That's not bad.
Didn't, it is not bad, but there's one that's definitely Funnians.
Funnions is Colorado.
Funnians is Colorado.
Buffalo's.
Colorado, getting high.
Yeah, that's good.
Denver.
Anyways.
I could do this.
It's so fun.
I love it.
That could also be a rating or a comment thing.
Hey, what's just pretzels?
Yeah.
That might be Notre Dame.
It's something that's been around forever.
Notre Dame is pretzels.
It's been around forever.
It's a classic,
but it's just like very bland.
Man, I love it.
That's great.
Ben's going to move his car.
All right.
Good shit.
TG34.
Remember to follow us.
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Leave us the rating, the review of the review of the video game that had you in a stranglehold.
And also maybe if you're feeling on the chip college football teams, you can go that way too because we go on that for hours and hours.
So don't forget to get your tickets to the Vogue for next week.
And also see you at Indiana Land 500 Part 2.
Anything else?
That was, dude, you nailed that, bro.
I'm not even going to step into that.
Okay.
TG34.
Bye.
See you next time.
Bye.
