THESE GUYS! - Get over urself, lobster

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

This week the burpy boys talk about how their highschool is so different💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS (on CW APP)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Austin - Oct 10 https://www.capcitycomedy.com/shows/254523 San Diego - Nov 7 https://www.micdropcomedy.com/shows/264571 Buffalo - Nov 14 https://buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254521 Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572Portsmouth - Jan 25 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/comedian-benedict-polizzi-at-cisco-brewers-portsmouth-tickets-907715289867🎧 𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗗𝗦 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

The lobster's this big. I'm like, this isn't even real. This is a fake lobster. Oh, oh, wow. Really sorry I hear about your dad that you lost when you were 12. Oh, I got a good one. Huh? Dude, and girls are about it.

I'm like, no, you're not. That's what you. Shut up. Not bad for a fat guy. Spooky season. It's here. Dead air. Spooky season's here.

Dude, I'm so high, obviously. Obviously the clubhouse can chill. You're watching on YouTube like you should be. These guys clubhouse on YouTube. These guys. This is the time of his life. You'll have to be. Dude, your hair looks better than mine.

bro this looks better than my real hair is the thing i got like santino corleone hair and you have like actually it's combed and looks good i got like janitor hair dude you know what we should probably take these off so people could eventually hear us but no dude whole podcast spooky season spooky season spooky season so what's up anyway

oh yeah we're doing a podcast all right i don't like Halloween or anything nothing nothing like those I don't like how old. Nothing like those Michael Myers masks. That's awesome. Wow. What a surprise.

TG 102. What a surprise. What's up, bro. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. Talk to me. You just want to get the minute out of the way. What are we thinking?

You're pushing the minute. I don't push the minute. The clubhouse loves the minute. I just, oh, yeah. Well, you know, we'll get to it. But other than that, you know, we got to push tickies, but we also got to push, we got to push what we do here. We got to push, you know, on the podcast platforms, subscribe, follow the show, leave us a rating, leave us review. Please subscribe on YouTube, watch us every week.

Not only can you listen to us, but you can watch us, throw us on at the house, throw us on at work, you know, on YouTube. So you can check in, see us in Michael Myers masks. And it really enhances the program. Program like Nick Saban says. It really enhances it when you can watch along, I think. I'm proud of it. The car, the shower, whatever. Watching is where it is.

I'm proud of our YouTube channel. Never thought I'd say it. Never thought we'd have one. But go watch. Tell somebody to subscribe. I know you got a homie out there that's just loves JV football. Where's a backwards hat and says hook him like 19 times a day. Send our podcast to that guy because he knows exactly what we're talking about.

It's a clubhouse thing. You wouldn't understand, babe. Hey, upcoming shows for me. Austin, this Thursday, Mommy's coming to town. October 3rd, Cap City Comedy Club. Can't wait to see you. San Diego, November 7th, Buffalo, November 14th, Phoenix, December 5th. Portsmouth, January 25th.

Let's ride. Portsmouth, Massachusetts? Uh, New Hampshire, pretty sure. Wait, what were we saying? Yeah. Damn, guy doesn't, guy who doesn't know where he's going.

Um, I mean, it's, it's a lot. Yeah, it's got to be, it's got to be one of those. Port, Portsmouth.

Yeah, it's going to be in the northeast. Yeah, you're going to be having lobster. Do I like lobster? Not really, man. I just can't, I can't buy into it.

But I get your take. He's Benedictplitzi.com. Bennypiltsy.com. Whatever you want, sexpiltsy.com, they're all over the place. Link right under here. Grab them.

I think, I do think, you're right. I think lobster really, really gets overblown a lot. I'm like, who's lobster paying to put their name out like this?

Because it's not that. I'm like, this is a, this is overblown. Yeah, because if you don't dunk it, absolutely drown it and the butter they gave you

or that, that little dip that they give you, the buttery dip that they give you along with it, it's nothing. You're tasting nothing. You're eating nothing. I will say, chewing.

The best part is crack it, like trying to get the meat, not even eating it. But then I kind of feel like I'm insane. I feel like I should be like in, in the privacy of my own home, like destroying that thing. But you're like on the fanciest date with like a girl.

And you're doing that. I'm like, what are we doing? here. They like, girls love lobster, bro. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't. The nicest, the nicest restaurant in Florida. You're sitting on the beach. Waters right next to you. Sun's going down. You just look like a moron with a bib around your neck. Hi. Hammer at dinner. Hey, and then this, I love you. I love you. Huh? How are you supposed to have conversations about anything real when you got a dumbest bib on your neck? What? What? What?

are we on, dude. Just breaking claws. Hey, the lobster's this big. I'm like, this isn't even real. This is a fake lobster. Oh, oh, wow. Really sorry to hear about your dad that you lost when you were 12.

Oh, I got a good one. My place. Huh? Dude, and girls are about it. I'm like, no, you're not. That's what you. Shut up. Shut up.

Olive Garden's got an olive garden and never talk to each other again. Please please, please, please, please. Olive Garden will slippery will have the noodles, you know, we'll slurp the noodles down together, lady in the tramp style. And we'll be hunky dory.

Give me something normal, dude. Snap this lobster's neck right in front of me, please. I don't know what to do about lobster, bro. $120 for a lobster. I'm like, damn, dude. I can go to the Hey one of those guys

I can go to the beach And find one cheaper than that You know When you buy some Buy food There's always somebody It's like I could just go to the store I buy it

And make it myself For like half the price I'm like yeah But I don't want to do all that shit All right Nevermind Talking about things no one knows No that's cool

Hey did Texas ever actually Wear those black jerseys Nah It's just everyone's fantasy dude, that's like the, what is it, the Mandela effect? Just everybody wanted them to so bad and you kind of think they did. Exactly. I'm like, there had to have been a weird like October home game against Texas Tech at night that they wore those.

Hey, I know people listen to this podcast and they pretend they don't because I see stuff on TikTok and I'm like, we talked about that four months ago. Some guy in TikTok, hey, um, does anybody realize that the Kansas City Chiefs always were turtle. in your game day pictures? I'm like, bro, shut up. You watch these guys. There's like four other ones too. That I'm like, dog, you watch these guys. Texas, if you're listening,

this is the year you wear these in October. Just saying, I know somebody's listening. Arch Manning, all black. Shut up. White pants, white helmet, though, still. See, I don't know because you remember when Tennessee did that hard? They came out with the blackout, but they had the white pants and the white.

I was like, right. Okay. There's something like practicing about it. It looks like, it looks like, you know, you designate the black jersey guy who's like the senior defender. So that's where I was like, man, maybe do they go black pants, black jersey too? You'd have to black it all out at that point. And then like, what do you do when the orange, you can't see the orange on the helmet? So there's a lot going on.

I know. That's, that's my dilemma. That's like this past week. weekend. Hey, let's talk about it real quick. Notre Dame. Oh, dude, I saw a clip of them and I was like, kind of looks good. Gold helmet green. I like the, I like the, I was telling DJ Dylon. I was like any shade of green that Notre Dame wears for Jersey, I'm down. Pretty good. Quinn, some archa days. They had like the darker. It was better. You know, forest green. It was better. You know, but this, they got like the kind of lighter Kelly

green. Yeah. And I get down with both. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, it, but I'm like, dog, you got gold pants and you're going to white? It just looks like your, it looks like practice pants, man. Oh, they went with white pants? Yeah. Oh, that's insane. I didn't even see their pants. Yeah, white pants.

I guess it's just, I mean, you think back to your planning days and like CYO and high school, every practice pant was just the grungiest piece of shit white pant ever. Straight. Yeah, when somebody bought new practice pants, you're like, okay. Okay. Somebody went to Dick's sporting goods before practice. I can't even see anymore. White his pants of all time.

Hey, did you get new practice pants? Dude, my mom got tired of washing them. My mom got tired of washing them. How am I supposed to know if you got new practice pants or not? I can't tell. Right. It's glistening. I'm like, yeah.

And they got the shiny ones, the shimmer in them. I'm like, bro, it's practice. You run a screen pass and they throw it to you and you can't see it. And your coach is just like, blood you. What? What? Dude, I can't say, dude, Laos got new practice pants.

What was it to do? Hey, you got to break them in a little bit in the backyard before practice. You're just diving around in your backyard. Just falling down and shit. Just rolling around like pig pin. Hey, go fall down in the backyard a few times. Dude, those pants are too white.

My dad actually did that. My dad got new coaching shoes when I was a kid. He's like, they're too white. Hey, B, you think these are too white? I'm like, I mean, they're new shoes. And that was the arrow where I was like, be fresh, you know? Like be fresh, dude.

Like, have new. He's like, nah. And he went on the side yard. The side yard, bro. Side yard gets no respect. Went on the side yard. Started kicking them around by like the AC unit. Just like scuffing them up a little bit.

Went out to practice. He's like, there we go. Like, dude, you're insane. But now I kind of get it now. Like you, you want them to be worn in a little bit.

Right. You don't want to be like Disney Channel football coach. you know like ABC football coach and a sitcom so obvious those guys are so obvious haven't even ever said the word football before it's football

that you don't pronounce a T around here football and program football program oh dude I went to the unfortunately I went to the cold Steelers game yesterday or on Sunday day when this comes out.

So I got any I'm that was fun. I got it. I had a chance to go and I was like, should I go? I have thought about flying back. Just to surprise you there. Dude, that would have been insane. What happened? What would actually make the day a lot better.

I feel like we, I feel like we got a minute, Bruin. What's going on? Scurran. It was just a, it was just a classic, classic Tomlin team let down. Like just, you know,

going there and just come out so flat. No game plan. you're down 17 nothing before you can even blink. I'm like, games over. Wait, what do you mean no game plan? You really think they didn't have one? Probably just like this gets sliced and diced, you know, like stiking from the second quarter of last year's game to the second quarter of this year's game outscored Tomlin's defense, 47 nothing. Cool. Yeah, every time, well, I mean, just based off that one time we watched the Steelers play the Colts. I was like, are you guys, did you guys know there's a game today? It was.

really weird. When we went to the cold Steelers game together, I was like, dude, is this the JV team? It was bad. I didn't have the, I didn't have the guts to say that to you while we were there because I thought you'd beat me up. Saving grace, you know, Justin Fields still like put up some numbers and stuff and almost brought them back, but it's just, I'm so sick of the letdowns on the road against teams that you should be.

Well, we should. Dude, no, there were favorites. their favorites on the Vegas. I mean, I'm so tired of it, dude. Like, got such a loaded back half of the schedule. You got to make hay now, dude. You can't just have a sleepy let up and be like, oh, that's fine.

We're three in one. Yeah, we're three and one. No, dude, you got to make hay while you can. And it just, it really pisses me off. But anyways, I was pretty well behaved at the Steelers game. I felt like I was sitting there with DJ Dylon. But then there was this one guy in our section. And it's like, you know, it's bad.

when he is rooting for the same team as you and you're both opponents of the you're both fans of the road team in this situation and even you are like dude sit down you're being an asshole

shut up like this is one of these this is how one of these guys was and I was like bro I'm so glad I'm not that guy I'll sit up here in the back row and I'll be pissed at myself and I'll

I'll rip on my team that I root for more than I will try to like start shit with the opponent team. I just don't get down with that man. Like I hate that so much. And this guy was, you know, turning it around. The Steelers will win this game. The Steelers will win this game. Like saying it to the section when the Steelers are down 17 to 3. Even I'm just like, dude, shut the fuck up.

Like, where are you even, what are you putting that out there for? One, but two, like, there's no business. There's just, that's the only place that that's okay for that guy to do that, you know? There's no other situation where he can, that guy's allowed to do anything like that. I don't know. Was he drunk? I honestly, no, I don't know. But then like his girl started getting into it with like the other girls who were in the

section of other guys who were, you know, getting into with him. So we got some verbal spats that were happening. So people were standing up turning around like during gameplay because they're, you know, having an altercation right here. I mean, me and dial on are just sitting there. like, God, dude, like what? This is why coming to games sucks. I hate going to games, man.

Dude, amongst the million other things about how inconvenient it is to go to a game, just like having to deal with people who like get so worked up and want to have altercations there. Dude. I don't know. You got work tomorrow, bro. You got to clock in tomorrow. That's the craziest thing when you think about it. And dude, he's a steal.

He might have. He's going to have to drive home after that, like five hours. Right? I mean, there's like, there's plenty of Steelers fans everywhere, man. Like I was sitting next to a few people that they're just like, yeah, we're just always been Steelers fans. We're from here. I was like, cool.

Me too. So like, who knows? This guy, you know, he could have been going back to fucking Franklin Central, you know, like. Weirdest side of town ever. You know, can we just talk about Franklin, Indiana real quick or wherever that is? no but I want to so bad best high school stadium of all time

sponsored by chick fillet did they sign did they sign with the Illuminati how are they getting all these people we don't know no one will ever know five star athletes every three years how they do it no one knows

Franklin Central okay just talked about him yeah no no no no that's Franklin Central I was talking about like Franklin Franklin oh that's weird like the like the Grizzly Cubs or whatever they're called.

Okay, yeah, they have a division to campus. Maybe D-1. It's wild. Best, best rookie N.LB went there two years ago. Still doesn't make sense. Why are all the good athletes coming out of Greenwood, Indiana? Franklin Township. Yeah, Franklin Township.

Producing the best athletes in professional sports. Don't know the baseball player's name, and then the Chiefs running back. That's it. But that's pretty good. They're kind of the same guy, too. Are they the same guy? White guy from Franklin Township? White guy from Franklin Township. Both kind of squat a lot, you can tell.

Both squat a lot. Yeah, you'd be impressed with their deadlift numbers. They both have blonde, long hair, kind of a bullet. Eye black. Eye black with like big sunglasses. Probably same guy. Both own reptiles. Same guy.

Same guy. That is that That you look at those two You're just like No one's made that connection yet Same guy We gotta be the first ones Right way what a good player

Just doing it in both Carson Steele and Max Clark Same same names Yeah What should I name my alter ego Pride of Indiana Pride of Indiana Bride of Indiana.

That dude's a dog. That one single guy that's both of them is a dog. You ever seen him in the same room? Both know where Mrs. Curles is though. Okay, too local. What's up? And we're losing them.

We're losing. All good. He's good. Yeah, so that was Sunday. Wow. Just nothing more exhausting than going to a professional sports game. I'm like, holy, is it over? When you get home?

An NFL game, an NFL game especially. Basketball game, it feels like it's not even a game, really. You're just like, we just popped in for a little bit left. We've got some food after, went somewhere. It's like more of like a soothing experience. NFL game. I'm like, bro, did we just watch like gladiators? Like, what are we doing?

I feel like I could have got killed or something while I was there. like I ate things I didn't even know existed. The whole experience is like, whoa! And it's so long. Oh my God. Every seven plays there's a flag. I'm like, well, not even just that, but I mean, even like, I remember I was looking at my, like, I looked at my phone at one point yesterday.

And because it felt like I was like, it's got to be like 545. It was like 2.15. because like we had been tailgating and stuff since like 10 a.m. Yo. You know? It's like, whoa.

I mean, a lot of fun, but damn, like you can hear my voice. Like, I'm worn, worn out. It's a long.

And then after people want to do stuff, I'm like, dude, I just don't know if I can wait around and a line again. Half the day is waiting in lines. Mm-hmm. Waiting in the lines and walking.

And rich people problems. Okay. Oh, my God. I hate doing things. anyone else has the opportunity to do. Yeah, but it is a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Parking.

Yeah. It's just a long day, man. But like you said, are you going to an NBA game? You can be in and out of the day. You got tip at 708. You can be back home by 9.30. Why is it like going to Kroger?

Went to an NBA game, you know, got something to eat left. You could get dinner at an NBA game. Where are you going to eat? Where are you been? All right. Honey, where you've been? Well, you know, I did have to go to Kroger

and then I just decided to pop by the Pacer game real quick. You really could. I picked up some tenders and, yeah. I don't know. To go. On my way home, eat anything? What if you got to go food from the Pacers game? That would be so sick.

I'll pick up some food on the way home. Chicken tender basket and a mini pizza. Absolutely house chicken tender basket from. pretty much any sporting event. It's insane. It looks so good. They do it right. Tenders are so crunchy.

Those tenders are so crunch. I'm just like, dude, break my teeth off trying to chew into this chicken tender. Is that the best chicken tenders? I know. I know people know. I know there's like a... I like that.

This is such a radio show right now. Top five chicken tenders go. But I know people have like a favorite. I've just never seen it. I've never seen like the... top. Where's the place? People go for chicken. Cains. I don't really think it's Cains, though. I think there's like a sleeper

pick. And it might be like your pro sports stadium. That's always number one on my list, man. If I'm getting concession stand from any sporting event that I'm at, what's about that chicken tender box? So that chicken tender basket for 1750.

You know what it is? It's because it's a basket. You throw a basket in there. I'm like, oh, how big is is it a big basket? Can I take the basket home and he's as decoration on one of my shelves? Basket? You know, I always think, why do I think it's going to be in like a wicker? And then they put that like festive, like checkered red and white like paper on the inside.

I'm like, this is. Oh, yeah. I'm in, you know. I don't even need a drink. You're picking up what I'm putting down. Yeah, dude. You're picking up. And then the fries.

The fries matter in that basket. The fries really do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Always three tenders, though.

Yeah. I'm begging and praying that they slip four in there, but I'll never say anything. Oh, three is perfect. I want four so bad. That's a classic like three, you feel like it's not enough, but four is too much. You're not,

you're not leaving a, you're not leaving that last tender in the basket. That's going in, dude. That's going all the way down. I have I don't know I've never not finished food

I think it's insane yeah you are wild you're you're like kind of psycho about it man yeah I know yeah you can say it I know you'd even finish like me and rice food back in the day

for sure right have you eaten in three days no what is going on no I'll finish everybody's food I think I'm done with this no you're not no you're not thank you hey so were you were you

garbage disposal guy at the lunch table in school every every lunch table had like the dumpster no because everybody was garbage disposal guy I don't know all my friends are garbage disposal guys

so I'd eat my lunch it wouldn't be enough food at all and I'd just be like I'd kind of be like a hungry dog like outside of your dinner table like then everybody eats puts their stuff because I didn't want to ask every day I want to be that guy it was like

national geographic shit like if you did like a 30,000 foot view of it you know like a high school lunch table right and you had like a narrator talking about you could you could pick up on body movements and subtleties of like oh this guy's going in for the kill man like he's got his eye on it and he's making his move a lot of a lot of patterns dude every day a lot of patterns high school lunch I think I got I brought the same thing every single day. No difference in food. Same exact sandwich. Same exact.

Peanut butter and jelly. Damn, why can I really remember high school lunch right now? No, turkey sandwich, bag of carrots. Always never a drink. Two turkey sandwiches and carrots. That's it. Why never? You just have water?

Yeah, I always rocked like a water bottle for way too long. You know what I mean? Like the Aquafina bottle, not ever aquafina though, like Power A bottle. Yeah, yeah. And I'd just refill it for like four and a half months until like there was E. coli around the top of it. And I'd still drink out of it after that. There's like mildew. Dude, if anybody drank out of that, they'd be like, yeah.

You just throw in the backseat of your car, though. It's still back there right now. Yeah, Power A Barry White Label from 2009. It's still in trunk rolling around. Maybe some spit, some dip spit in there. Oh, yeah. What happened to all those bottles? My God.

But, you know, but every time I was able to buy lunch at high school, in high school, I got the same thing every time. And I remember sitting next to dudes that would buy lunch every day. Like hot lunch. Is that what it's called? And they would get the same thing every day for a year. And I was like, that's insane, man.

Same thing every day, chicken sandwich, macaroni, green beans. Yeah, pretty solid, man. Spicy, probably too. Spicy chicken? Yeah. Or they just go regular patty. It just, maybe mix it up a little bit.

I think they always got spicy. Spicy was it. Spicy was the sandwich. Hey, and then they put, hey, your poor friend puts one his cargo pants pocket. I'm like, dude. Every day. Hey, every day, I respect the hustle, but every day's crazy.

Like, what if he gets caught? It's like, you kind of stole like $700 in chicken sandwiches. Poor friend. I don't know why poor friend gets me. Because everybody's got, he's not even really that poor, bro. I'm like, you're just acting poor, dude. Poor friend. I always got a spicy chicken sandwich

in his pants cargo pocket from old Navy. I'm like, dude. Hey, I always busted out on you too. Hey. I'm like, give me half. Dude, don't brag about stuff you stole. Dude, do you remember

unlocking my lunch came to a different level when you unlocked the fact that you didn't have to get chocolate milk as a drink? They get like prairie farms orange juice and you're like oh they got oj that just makes everything way better wait a minute you could do that yeah they had options of like white milk chocolate milk you know you're like okay that's school lunch yeah it's like one of the milks maybe a strawberry milk if they're feeling

freaky but then all of a sudden on a friday orange juice orange juice in the cartons prairie farms and i'm like wait this now i can have chicken fries because i have have orange juice as a drink instead of chocolate milk. Chicken fries, dude. Chicken Friday. Is that just the universal every high school? Just, yeah, like on a Thursday or Friday, it was like, chicken fry barb, bro. Hey, with nacho cheese on them.

I'm like, you're going crazy. You're going crazy. People who put nacho cheese on their chicken fries. I was like, okay. Hey, are you at a Colts game? We've got chemistry after this. And you're putting nacho cheese on your chicken fries. What?

Go drink a fifth, too, while you're at it. Yeah. I miss that routine. I do. I miss that routine. It's not a reminiscent podcast. Not a reminiscing. Not a high school remissing.

Not a high. No. No. These guys aren't living in their glory days. They're not. We're not living in the glory days, bro. We're making fun of the glory days. That's better.

Yeah, I don't want to go back. at all. Hey, but why did I think our high school is so different? Everybody knows what Bosco sticks are. Everybody had, oh, my high school had the best cookies. I know.

You know when people are like, nobody beats my mom's lasagna. It's like that with high school. Nobody, I swear to God, nobody had better cookies in our high school. Because every day I was like, these are insane.

Yeah. So does everybody else. Yeah. The day they changed up our high school cookie recipe, I was like, kind of want to transfer. Lost. Lost me. Can I want to transfer to Franklin play baseball and football on two different high school teams and go pro? Oh, man.

Did you watch that first 30 seconds that video? I begged you to. No, I didn't, dude. I couldn't get past the thumb now. I know. So many people sent me four minute videos this weekend. I was like, I didn't want you to do a whole four minutes. I know.

I just wanted you to. You were just in the. group and I was like another I almost I almost did but I think I was at a show and I was like God I can't watch this right now because it was too loud yeah yeah yeah yeah but that makes sense but I'm just gonna pull it up

here for the clubhouse I just open up YouTube and just on like your suggested show it is this is this gorgeous right look at that who's not watching it look at that even if you don't care you got to respect it it's beautiful Peyton and Farr of

in the cold exclamation point Colts first Packers 2000 week 12 bro. Hey, all it's missing is a little Christmas tree emoji. Just saying. Had to talk about Christmas. Had to put it in there. Haven't said the C word yet. We're officially here. And we have that one dude who comments,

he just comments the marking for when we start talking about Christmas. The time stamp on everyone. That is my dog. But the first 30 seconds, all right? Well, first of all, Peyton has the, the Colts have the blue face. asks and Peyton has that just old ass like bar one you know it's not like the Revoh but it's just a straight like so Peyton Manning right first 30 seconds of the video are just unbelievable man I couldn't

believe that this was the first 30 seconds so can't wait for that I just I'm gonna put I'm gonna play right here can't wait for it all narrate for the listeners so you have the old you have a do you have the tailgate shot of people at Lambo it's so cold steams coming out everywhere got are playing the drums. First 30 seconds, Peyton Manning drops back. Oh, we're already getting into it. Of course. Drops back into the end zone. Ball just falls out of the game. No, no, no, no.

No. Dude, me watching this game like it's live, it's a Super Bowl. Dude, safety. That was the first drive. That's just football folly's right there. So good. Hey, Colts, I know you're listening. Bring back the blue face mask. Just saying. Yeah. So you get the highlight of that.

All right. Then coming up next here, you're going to have all four. All right. We get it. Jesus. So cold. No, I'm not done watching. Watch that dude. It's so funny. You know he wakes up in his sleep to that play. 2-0 Green Bay up there. Here's Amon Green around the outside. Best running back ever. On the right side line. Can we just talk about Amon Green for a second? Dude. No one's stopping him ever. Sorry. Running back setter number 30, best ever. Drill Davis. Farv to Ammon Green right there

at the handoff and then Farb dropping back under center just absolutely missilling it he's throwing that he's throwing that

like he got cheated on the last night you know he's like yeah dude every time he's playing he Farb plays with passion

I just couldn't believe it from the thumbnail to the title of the video to the first 30 seconds where they're having the Lambo tailgate shot, and you can tell it's so cold, then Peyton Manning ball completely just flops out of his hands.

Then the next play is Amman Green for a gain of like 40. And then the next play is Brett Farve throwing the ball like he's never been more mad in his life. I was like, this is just our video. So mad. Every play, chin strap coming off immediately. Throw his ball, chin strap off. I want to go through some of these comments to here real quick

because. please we had some pretty good ones on last week's video a couple of the questions were what brands need to be with what schools and then what are the NFL holiday matchups don't get me started babe Jimmy said Oklahoma and Florida need to go back with Nike ASAP

yep wait one more time sorry I was thinking about the poor kid he said Florida and Oklahoma need to just go back to Nike ASAP please my God be yourself actually dude someone DM me and they're like Oklahoma should be Reebok. You know like the old Reebok logo? Like the day like Brian Boswell where he had like Mohawk blonde like that like that era of Reebok and kind of

makes sense. It would be kind of cool. That'd be interesting. Different for sure. Jimmy also said Halloween night Raiders at Browns Thanksgiving Day, Vikings at Lions, Eagles at Cowboys, anyone at Buffalo at night, which I was like, oh, that's, that's on Thanksgiving? The NFL has been, the NFL has been looking, in my opinion. I know they like to rotate and have like a primetime game on that Thursday night, but I think they should stick with it. I think that they, you know, if the Lions are going to host the first game and the Cowboys are going to host a second game every single year, we need to find that third.

That's just there every single year on prime time. And Buffalo, I think is it. Makes a lot of sense. Why does everybody, everybody kind of likes the bills? Like, I don't know why. Everybody kind of feels bad for them. They're a cool team. They've done nothing wrong.

Yeah. And he says Christmas Day, Bears versus Packers, Eagles versus Vikings, outdoors at the U of Minnesota Stadium, and then Ravens versus Steelers. That's like, wow. That's pretty interesting. That's pretty good. I like builds on. Dude, something about Lions Vikings is hidden right now.

I love that. Yeah. I mean, both of them are really freaking good. The games on at 9.30. Michael. Michael says Mac equals Adidas, the AAC equals Under Armour. SEC equals Nike. Boston College equals New Balance.

Pretty true. Boston. I don't know the conferences anymore, dude. Hey, conferences. Who's in them? But, yeah, I don't think anybody does. They don't even matter or mean anything, but Boston College New Balance is so on point.

Really is. Notre Dame. Notre Dame Boston College, same guy. Definitely cousins who are like kind of rivals, but they still like hang out. Guy who else is like that? From Lincoln. Hawaii needs to go back to Nike.

Please, that's that guy. That dude knows. Hawaii Nike. Another Boston College hit here from Nick. Boston College is T.J. Max. Spoober's coming out. A lot of firing on Boston College. A little bit, though.

They deserve all that. Yeah. Jay Preezy says Brian Cushing. Jacob Hess says Jeff George. Jeff George. Weird face mask.

It's just amazing to me that all those quarterbacks like in that era rocked that Peyton Manning long. I'm like, how do you guys think that looks good? Like, there's not anyone on the marino cold pepper manning breeze early on i was like guys what you're

are you are you are you ken dilger why are you wearing that the bottom of it like touches up against their shoulder pad plate that's how long it is right i'm like can you even look down can you look down hey remember manning hurt his chin and they had to put the extendo clip on his or was that kurt warner i'm like how long can this guy's face mask get I'm pretty sure it was manning. I'm like, you have a ladder attached to your helmet right now. Just that thing. He had to be like, dude, if they showed me that helmet and they're like, here you go.

Strap it up. I'd be like, I'm not playing. Yo. Hey, you know what? We're just going to throw this catcher's mask on you. Good luck. Get out there. Slaps you on the back.

Hey, yeah, we're going to attach a pooper scooper to the end of your face masks. First play the game. Hey, bowl. drops out of the aim. Never mind. I don't want to play anymore. Bye. Gonna coach J.B. See ya. Yeah. So those are just a few of the responses. Cooper Scooper, dude. Which I thought was nice.

Hey, we're gonna, we're gonna mold a lacrosse catcher on your face mask. Get out there and get the W. No, thank you. Actually, chin hurts too bad to play. Sorry. Cross stick. Anything in your these guys notes? Absolutely nothing. I forgot they existed. That's all right.

I might have something though, but it's going to take a sec. Dead air. That's all right. Going through my drafts. Johnson Schmitty. Okay. Chicken Caesar salad.

Why is that in there? Trying not to have dead air. Drunk chills. Oh, chicken Caesar salad. I can talk about that, man. That's, uh, number one salad. number one salad on the board.

Mel's Big Board, number one, chicken Caesar salad. Always plays. You don't get croutons, though, because you're... No, I do. I do. It just depends, like, what season it is. But croutons pop it off, hard.

Kind of the only reason I want it. Number two, Mel's Big Board salads, Santa Fe. Santa Fe. Santa Fe. The tortilla chips. Is that with the little tortilla strips? That's the, that's the fiesta. You're like, I'm getting crazy.

Hey, get a marg with that. Can't tell me shit. Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, baby. Santa face salad with a marg. Hey, the whole time I'm eating it. It is so good, man. Crazy.

Four, or number three. Santa face salad. It comes with like a Chipotle one, you know. It's just insane. You still forked dip in it? Always, yeah. Unless it. it's a mistake.

Fork dip in the dressing on the side and go in. It's a perfect amount every time. I'm like, I don't. And it's a little, it's a little easier than just plopping all the dressing on there. Because then the dressing, like there's a lot on one part. And I'm like, that's a lot of dressing.

Four more bites, no dressing. I'm like, what is this? It's a good way to get a good ratio. But do you do that with a Caesar salad? Yeah, if I remember, sometimes I just bring it always with Caesar dressing on the side. Like, it's kind of like a do it yourself thing. And I'm like, oh, all right. But sometimes I forget and they like mix it with the Caesar dressing and just give me it.

And I'm like, all right, cool. Yeah. How do you feel about salmon on a salad? I like it. I've been doing it a lot less. I love you, burpee boy. Whoa. I've been eating a lot of salmon.

but I still like, I'm like, I don't know if I want to put it on a salad. I just want to eat the salmon or eat it with some rice or something, but salmon on a salad for some reason just, I don't know. Because I'm like, what the, what dressing do I put on this? I'm not going to put like saracha hot sauce on my salad, but I would on a salmon. And I'm not going to put Caesar with salmon. It just is a weird combo.

It's good, dude. That's good. It's good. Yeah. Salmon on salads, good. for sure. Oh, it never failed me. But I've just been doing chicken a lot for some reason.

I don't know why. Probably because salmon's $27. I'm like, okay. Then I eat it. I'm like, best thing I've ever had. Okay. Yeah. You ever do a little bit of yum yum sauce?

A little bit of that with some like soy mixed in with the salmon? I've had a, I had like a bad experience with yum yum sauce. Had too much. Really? Had too much the first time. I just bought it. I just bought some because somebody's like, you should get yum yum sauce. I was like, really?

So I tried it, bought it, ate it with salmon. But I was, it was just too, it was too much. It was too overbearing. It was too yummy, dude. It's too yum, yum. It was too yummy. And I ate it and I kind of, I haven't had it since because I was like, that was way too yummy.

Okay. That's fine. It was just too much for me. you're the only person I know that when something's too good something's wrong something's wrong I got to I got to back away if it's too good something's wrong dive into the goodness you back away from the goodness because there's something going on there it's just there's something going all right this sauce is so good okay then why am I eating salmon I might as well just eat a cheeseburger

with yum yum sauce on it you know what I mean it's just the sauce is too good it's supposed to balance it out a little bit so that you can keep like hey I'm still eating like good like lean salmon but there's just a little tree little yummy on there a little tree eating healthy or you know

you can't eat sandwiches eat salmon it was too yummy bro it was too yummy you're the worst I know I know this guy man when I was chubby face like way back in the day and I'd be like you know I think

and I was like trying to like eat a little bit better instead of getting McDonald's, I'm getting Jimmy John. There you go. You know, subway. Yeah, but you're just like, I mean, you're basically eating pizza, man. Do I still do that all the time? I still think that all the time.

I was like, sorry I'm not just eating steamed broccoli and fucking. True. True. Beans. Beans. Went hard on black. All right. Let's go to clubhouse.

Let's check that out. team of these guys at Gmail at that cap. Where'd that go? Here. There we go. From Ryan, uh, need Ben's thoughts on Max Crosby's face mask.

Let's see it. I think I remember what it looks like, but I don't know if he updated it. A lot of extra bars going on on the sides. Yeah. It's a handful. Oh, wait. Does he have that new helmet that looks really awkward?

Sorry. That error. I don't like those new helmets. Oh, okay. Okay. You mean when he was in Star Wars or? I mean, it goes kind of hard. Played Kylo Ren?

It goes kind of hard, but he's doing a lot. He's doing a lot. I don't know what that triangle means. It's on his neck too, but I like it. I think you should be able to do that kind of stuff in the NFL. Like to a certain point, you should be able to, like, customize your face. Remember that one of your Ray Lewis had like an actual, like, I don't even know what that was. Is this like a beehive on his face?

The honey dude was last year. And I'm like, I know, I know that's so heavy. Just 25 pounds of steel on your face. It looked dope though. Yeah. Only Ray Lewis at that time. Good. I like it.

Nick. Subject line. John David. John David Booty, not bad for a fat guy, Barquevius Mingo. That's it. Barcavius Mingo. LSU. Man, they met a time.

I can only hear Barcavius Mingo. What a name in Melchiver's voice. Yeah, I think we'll go to my Barcavius Mingo. Was he? What position is he? Edge. Pass R Usher. Yeah, dude.

Top five Edge. Barcaviz Mingo. I was like somebody somebody pick up my dog Mingo that's going to look so sick on a jersey Mingo on the back? Shut up go to hell It's from Kurt

Hey Joey and Benny Kurt from Chelsea Michigan here I felt like this question will generate plenty of childhood trauma and laughs When did you see your mom and dad The Mattest that you are a sibling And what caused it For me it happened back in 2008 when I was 10

My younger sister was 8 an older sister was 14. My older sister had been a bitch all morning towards my dad. We were rolling out of the driveway for school, and my sister said one last thing that set him over the edge. He proceeded to slam his fist down into the center console of the car, snapping it in half. And doing so, his coffee and the console flung up into the air

and splashed on him, her and us in the back. After a screaming match ensued, we all got to school with coffee stand clothes and tears in our eyes. We still talk about that morning today as adults and laugh. It looks like the weather will be nice. this weekend. You may just need to Jared Gough. Oh, geez. These guys.

Come on. Come on. Slap my ass. Kurt. Wow. Nothing like a good old OG slap my ass. That's all you need. I'm interested. Yeah. When's your dad or mom really get on you? They kind of hold back.

I'd kind of be like, you can do, you can let it go. They did a good job at like. One time was my dad was mad. But he was, like, mad at other things. And then if we did something, it really tip him off. But, like, behind his mad, I was like, what happened at practice today, bro? Like, I'm like, I know me leaving a light on didn't, it wasn't supposed to be all this. Like, there's something, there's something else.

But my dad would just yell. And he'd like, kind of, I'd go upstairs and he kind of kick, he'd like, kick my butt. Instead of, like, give me a spanking. I'd be like running away from them or something when I was a kid and he'd like kind of like he'd give me one of those like a Michael Jackson kick like yeah and it kind of hit me like big side of the foot

yeah yeah just like yeah like a pass if you were playing soccer but yeah I mean he would just yell a lot my mom I don't know my mom would get mad but not like she wouldn't yell she would just like mom yell but then you'd feel real bad when he made your mom mad you'd be like,

ah. When you make your dad mad, you're like, all right, dude, you're insane. When you make your mom mad, you're like,

damn, I got to like really, like, I got to say, sorry. Because she's just trying to help, dude. Your dad can get out of line

and, like, it's a little too much, but like, your mom getting mad. It's like, yeah, really fucked up,

huh? Yeah. It's a little more logical. She's, and now she's upset. And now my dad's going to be even more. So now it's, now it's a two-on-one thing for me.

Yeah. It's just like, God. If I fuck up with mom, then it's double trouble because then I automatically fuck up with dad, you know? You treat you, you want to treat me like that? You want to talk to me like that. You talk to me like that. You talk to me like that.

It becomes like an umpire and a manager. That's the best. Guys fighting like an umpire and a manager. That's our next video, by the way. Hey, don't steal it because I know you guys will. people out there watching this podcast. I mean, we've kind of done something similar to that. A dog one. I was so proud of it.

I don't think it did that well, but all good. Have we done that? Oh, we have done that. Man, you're right. It was one of those. I'm like, what do we do wrong here? I thought it was great. Don't you hate that, dude? Oh. What do we do wrong?

What? Come on, man. We did it in like an actual meeting room. yeah what OG meeting rooms uh i've told that story i think on here because my dad and my sister still like my dad my sister brings it up because you think it's hilarious my dad brings it up because he's like what do you get doing me like that joe but the when i like begged and crawled like clawed my way to get McDonald's hotcakes and my dad got super pissed at me for it that he had to buy me him because my mom got mad at him for buying him nothing better though just turns around

Jordan Rees here was to my left sitting right behind my dad. Joe, you're fucked. You're absolutely fucked. Yeah. When I had that, when my friends had that party in my house when we were 19 and we were gone and we showed up and our house is just completely just screwed. I think about that every day. My mom laid into me pretty good there. You got to do that though.

You had to do that. Like if that didn't happen in your life, I don't know, dude. you might just be working at you might just be yeah but you had you had to get that one out every day

I'm driving in my car in complete silence I'm like damn Joe he had that party at his house and he was like 19 then I just think about something else

I think about every day I didn't have that party my friends I know but at my house crazy call I'll give him the green light down ass homie

for a friend right there that's good it's good Give them the green light. Run it. You're just like, let's go, dude.

I mean, we're in North Carolina. They had the garage code. Not much more. Oh God. Garage code and bro code. From Ryan. Sorry,

from Ryan. Trappaholics, Biatch. Oh, yeah. I knew this is going to be good. So all this TikTok needs sound and immediately thought of these guys. These guys. DJ drama.

Hey, if we get hit for copyright, worth it. That actually came from Travis Kelsey's TikTok. So his throwback Thursday. That was him. That was actually my ringtone for half of my life. Nothing better than that. Nothing better than that. You play that.

I turn into it a completely different person. Play that at a funeral. I don't care. I can't control my body anymore. Brit. Trabole. Tratch. Crazy. I'm on Exotic. This comes from Chris. Bullpen session

White noise machine. Brief thought on a topic that came across my desk this week. Stadiums with pools in them. Why? Chase Field in Arizona and Everbake Stadium in Jacksonville. I mean, you bought a ticket to watch a game live, but you're also paying for admission to a public pool. It's just an interesting combo to me,

and I wonder how that idea was brought to life. also I think about the logistics of the whole thing. Like is there a lifeguard on duty? Who cleans the pool? What if someone pukes in the pool? Do people show up to the stadium with their floaties? And then once you're done swimming, do you just go back to your seat all soaking wet and sitting there

for the remainder of the game? Slot my ass will I, Josh Allen hurdle over a cardboard cutout of Staisernabate? Christmas is over. Chris. We might need to show that dude's face at one point. Staisianaw about this? Because he looks exactly like he sounds. now about this?

So true. So true. Those are all great questions, Chris. Great points. How did that come about? Well, I believe it came about being, hey, we're the Diamondbacks and the Jaguars.

We got to do something here. How do we get people into the stadium? How do we get tickets sold? Hey, we're tropical vacation type environments. Why not put a pool in there? That would draw attention. That would get people to come out. Pool at a baseball game?

That's how it came about. Yeah, I might try that. I might be down for that. Like Bachelor Party, oh, we're going to the Jags game or whatever, and we've got the pool suite. I might be like, I might be worth, that's something different right there. And what came first, though? The pools and like the stadiums or Las Vegas stadium swim?

Because I feel like someone was like, oh, we're doing that too. you know that's a good question i don't know the answer but i'm pretty sure the diamondbacks were the first on that because when they came around like the late 90s i feel like it was like like i feel like when they won the world series in 2001 they're at the same stadium that they still play at i'm pretty sure that shit was still out there in right center field so i think they were on it first i think the jags came about it later when they were really and like you know posts like Mark Bernel, Fred Taylor days when they're like, oh, shit. Like, we suck and we need something to draw people here.

It was a bad area. Could be wrong. Could be wrong. You know, we've watched plenty of Colts Jaguars games in Jacksonville in our day. And I'm, you know, I'm sure at 2004 and there was the pool there or something. But, nah, just Jimmy Smith. I don't think it's like public admission, though. Like you said, like it's got to be, it's like a suite that is probably.

reserved honestly for a lot of like corporate events corporate outing sponsors that be able to come and bring their people there who have tickets they go or just yeah i mean i guess if you're like a diehard jaggs fan you're looking for something different on a bachelor bachelor bachelor's party why not bro if i made a stadium i would just every little like section would have a different theme i think that'd be so cool okay we don't need to get into it but i like it man i like it man You know what I mean? Let's talk more. Yeah.

Like, you know, just like that wooden swing that's like in somebody's backyard, bro. There's just a whole section of those. Just a whole section. You know, maybe there's like a, maybe there's like a tree house like section. Bro, we got tickets to the tree house at the Jags game. You come in? Clubhouse type, you know what I mean? vibe up there.

Picture of Doug Flutie on the wall. Yeah, swing. Hey, I'd watch a, hey, we got the swings ticket. I'm going. I like it. I like it. I think if you designated this

to the suites instead of like the general area and each suite had a different theme like that. Yeah. Oh,

we got the playground suite. Bang. Kids. Bro, they just opened up the legends of the hidden temple suite.

We got tickets. Oh, when, what times the game start gets in the car? dude that's such a great idea in theory and then all of a sudden it would just get so sold to corporate sponsors we're going to the state farm suite all the seats are red and Jake's going to be there that's the one yeah my bad guys I couldn't get the Nickelodeon one where you get slimed when they

scored touchdown but I got the state farm one we just oh but you wear khakis and a polo kind of not all right all right this is something here theme yo that'd be sick. Every, but they have like the stadium has more sweets than like usual because that's their thing. Yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, Christmas time. Winter Wonderland.

I got to go. I got to get out of. Hey, timestamp. Just a. We got tickets to the snow globe, bro. Shut up. You don't even need to tell me what to wear, bro.

Oh my. Santa's in there on the chair. You come dressed as Santa too, though. You're like, as Santa. As Santa for a touchdown. Hey, there's, Snow falling the whole time. Let's take a look into the winter wonderland suite.

Snowfalling. We're having the best time of our lives. The food is like catered to the holiday. Chili. There's ham. It's July 7th. You're like, that'd be the best.

It goes on. It goes on forever, man. Star Wars suite. Fourth of July sweet. Hey, Star Wars suite. They got two stormtroopers out in front of the door where you enter. Here's your lightsaber. Enjoy the game.

Can you imagine? Fourth of July suite, you open the door. Like, all right, let's see what's going on here. Joey Chestnut's in there. Oh, my God! But you can't put down 60 of these. I'm like, how would I say no? Joey Chestnut, a Donald Trump impersonator. I'm down.

I'm down for all that, bro. Hey, anything but the game. Let's do it. Hey. All right. So we got, what did you say first? You said like a tree house. Oh, my God.

Treehouse suite. Treehouse sweet. State Farm suite. Your grandmas. Just your grandmas is one. It's got that chair and it just has like baseball games on like an old AC unit. There's pies in the window and stuff. Hey, your light.

Your light over the kitchen over the. Oh! Sink. Blackwave light. Yeah. There's like a tree in there that you can like kind of climb. You're like, I don't know. I used to do this.

And this. is all going to be happening in the Carolina Panthers Stadium next year. I'm telling you, bro. And I know you're listening to this podcast. I'm done. I'm done just pretending that it's all that's my minute this week, bro.

I'm done. I'm done with the, yeah, I don't even know the word, but let's keep talking about this. I mean, if you want. Trying to think of some other video game room. Oh, dude, a blockbuster in the early 2000s suite.

I'd be like It's just It's just gonna be like the most niche things Who's not going? A video There's a you know the like When you were This is not Blockbuster

But Best Buy There'd be like a Like you could play like Xbox in there real quick There's one of those in there You're just watching Uh huh Yeah Hey hey hey

Cags and eggs What's that? Office hose and CEOs Uh You know You could dude Hey, if that's for, that's for more like the Bachelor party type. Jersey party in one of the suites.

Come on. Somebody just has a Blazers Arvetus, a bonus jersey on at the Jags game. You're like, what is happening in that suite? That's a million dollar idea. Don't take it. Well, all right. Now we've got to start a franchise. Jesus Christ.

Trying to get monetized on YouTube. We've been going. We've been going. you know the deal folks this is these guys we get together every week and talk about shit like sweets at an NFL game that it's great I'm sweating from that these guys clubhouse on YouTube give us to subscribe we keep seeing it we're at like 1500 a little bit above that close to do 1600s let's get it up there like it so people see it more on their algorithms comment like we do so we can talk about it on the show these team these guys at gmail.com email us so we can

get to know you, talk about your question or observation. Please. On the show. As you know, we read those off in the kind of second half, later portion every week. And yeah, go see Benny on the road, man. Tell them where. Oh, shit. October 3rd. This Thursday, Austin, Tex. San Diego, November 7th, Buffalo, November 14th. Phoenix, December 5th, Portsmouth. The guy who doesn't know how to say the city is going to. January. 25th. Get your tickeys right below. Tell your homies about the pod. Because we're all clubhouse when it comes down to

it. It is what it is. There it is. All right. Good deal. We will be back next week. It's October. It's holiday season. Yeah. Spooky season. Bye-bye. Adam Archiletta. Oh, damn. Paul Kruger.

Oh, my God. Spooky season. I get it. There it is.