THESE GUYS! - Go 2 Hell Getty Images

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

On this episode Ben and Joey talk about how every mechanic's name has to be under 5 letters by law and why bringing dynamite to the airport still won't help you get your bags quicker 🔔 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCks0zMVeSNG0TJVxWKpjwsw

I think I told you this, I stopped drinking espresso. Hmm. Just because, like, it wasn't doing anything to me anymore. You've become immune to the espresso. So I'm like, why would I keep getting it? Oh. My dad's been in that rut for, like, seven years. I was going to say.

He's getting quad shots out here. Your dad is espresso. He's getting into, he's not even feeling it. I'm like, I got to stop. So I stop, man. Now just getting regular Pike place. It's my place of work. That'll do it.

A little pike. This is my thing now. Get a pike. Whatever's on tap. Get a pike. Two pumps of pumpkin syrup. Just enough. Scoop ice cubes for the season.

Yeah, that would add because sometimes it could be a little bitter, right? The pike can be a little bitter. It is. I like it all. I like it rough. Give it all to me, man. Just lay me down and give it all to me. Give me the worst tasting coffee.

I bet I like it. Yeah, because it's not about to taste. Like, is this tobacco? Is this a bit? Venty dip? Venty gris. Is this winter green? Like, it's peppermint.

You have a problem. I'm like, never mind. I'll use my stars. That ever happened to you? You ever accidentally drink dip spit? No. For some reason,

that's the only thing that hasn't happened to me in my life. That's good. Yeah. I swear. I'm fucking gone through it all. I haven't either, but I've seen people. I've been in the room.

I've been in the experience when people have had it happen to them. And I cannot imagine a worse two and a half seconds. I don't know if it would register to me immediately that it's dips bit. Sure. It could be like one of those things where like, you know, when a baby falls. And, you know, they always say like, hey, don't really like make a scene of it because they don't know. But if you're like, oh my God, are you okay? Oh, then the baby's like, ah!

you know, freaks out. That's, that's what dips bit. If you just have a little swig, that's, that's some crazy parenting. And if your buddy's like, oh, dude this way,

then you're like, oh, God, you start gagging, but if you just do it and then you set it down, and like, oh,

that's kind of weird, they kind of burned a little bit. If nobody told me, I'd be like, it's a pike. That kind of cleared me out. Steakaff? You got this on tap?

Vinty dips spit. Where do you get this? Can I run over the gas station, grab a bottle of dips bit. Just a little ice Copenhagen. my sinuses are beautiful can finally smell Cope You're never a dip guy

I tried Actually you were you were for a little bit Who hasn't? Yeah who hasn't like at least tried I mean you got to give it a shot I remember a few Pallizi college experiences Where I somehow was around you And yeah there was there was plenty of it to be had

But then when we started doing shit together I was still kind of doing it And I was like, you want and you're like, come on. And I was like, what happened? You're like, your teeth, you're all, it just, no. I was like, okay. So. Too gross after, because you get the first run through, automatic throw up.

Oh, yeah. Dude, the first time you try it. But that's, that's an important, like, I look forward to my son experiencing that. Like, to me, that's like a, that's a milestone, like coming of age experience that you need to have. Oh, you tried this. Baby's first, he's like six. Baby's first dip, baby's first dip, taking pictures and shit. Puking everywhere.

I want to be surprised with some of these Facebook posts of like gender reveals and shit that you see though, you know. When some, some plaid wearing, boot wearing, trucker hat wearing MF. Dipspit blue or pink? Yeah. They do that with their. No, they name their kid. It's a girl. They name their kid Cope.

Short for Copenhagen. It's a girl. Named their kid, grizzly. Red man. We'll call her long cutter around the house. Dude, dip in baseball, right? Isn't that a huge thing?

You're still allowed to? Well, just spitting in baseball, you know? That's weird. Half of baseball is just spitting and touching your junk. Yep. 100%. It's all about, you know, and like, that would go through my mind when I played baseball. You have to look the part. And you have to look the part harder

in baseball than any other sport because there's so much downtime. Right? And football and basketball, you're going too much to where you can't really think about looking the part too much. What do you mean looking the part? You know, like if you're a football player, you want to, I mean, when you're a baseball player, like I said, football and basketball, there's too much going on. You can't think about it. But baseball, you're standing there. You're standing there for 25 to 30 seconds in between piece of action. I wouldn't be able to do that, man. So you're standing there. So you got to kind of, you know, have a nice little stature about yourself. Just a little bit. Kick the dirt around a little bit. Fire some spits out there. You got to have your moves. Do one of these. You got your moves. Yeah,

yeah. And then they're different because, you know, the guys in the infield, they'll do that a lot, right? They'll, like, kind of have the glove right here, kind of do a few pops, you know, guys in the outfield, you're kind of, you can literally sit down out there and, you know, get the note cards out, start studying for something. You can be chilling, you know. but you got to look the part in baseball more than any other sport. Golf, golf, that's big. Big, big warm-up routines in golf. You're warming up the whole damn time in golf.

I find myself now that I golf that I'm like, oh, wait, I'm just trying to look the part. You know, when I'm like walking to my next shot, I'm like envisioning like the, you know, the audience. Oh, yeah, the camera crew. Yeah, the camera crew. And then like the, what do they call it? What do they call that? Why do you know the, not the audience.

They have a different word for it in golf. Oh, it's not like the crowd. No, it's called like the... Oh, man, I can't wait for this. The gallery. Shut up. Is that what it is? I thought it's that.

Golf crowd is called the gallery. Like when, you know, when you're Tiger Woods right back in the day. Golf. Be more golf. They would all, right. They would all like, they would show the shot of him walking towards, you know, his ball for the next shot. And then the whole gallery is behind him.

Gallery. Shut the fuck. I'm pretty sure. That's the most golf term. Golf is so, like, country club. Yeah. Didn't like, like, it's a tough balance because you want your kid to be the golf kid.

Patrons, dude. If golf crowd is called gallery guy. Is there anything else like that? Like, what about tennis? They can't be called. Tennis is just a crowd, right? Because sometimes I feel like... Your mom's a tennis pro.

That's why I think it's just crowd. I haven't heard anything else. I also know no rules about tennis. You know how it's like... Add in, add out. Didn't even know those. God, about 15 live.

Oh, the umpire in tennis. It's an umpire in tennis. It always weirds me out that there's an umpire in football too. I'm like, no, no, that's just baseball. Why is just sitting up in a chair then,

ump? Right. Where is the umpire? Where's your mask? I don't know. I don't know any, I don't know any of the side judge. Side judge,

obviously I'm sure is the people that are there, you know, And then the ref The only one that's the ref is the guy Who talks Who talks? The other ones just help them out The other is like the umpire Then you have like the back judge

The line judge Riffs are just cops bro Look at this shit How about the rest? I never even seen Dude how do refs get out of the way Because it seems like they should get trucked Way more often

There's one guy like right behind the linebacker right He's in the mix man He's in the box He's coming downhill Is this guy working out Like, you got to be ready to take some shots, right? It should happen more often. You're right.

How about those refs? Like, I feel like when we were growing up, there'd be a ref that it's just, look at this shit, bro. Because there's no such thing as a young ref. Every ref is- Me the experience. You've got to be at least 62. 62 and so immobile. That should happen 15 times a game.

Dude, I always loved in the longest yard with Sandler when they have that scene where they just like, throw the ball directly at the refs nuts. I'm like, yeah, that shit happened more often too. Yeah, why not? Patrick Mahomes with his fucking laser arm, his, his accuracy. He just pissed off after one shitty call and just wants to send a message. Just absolutely nailed the ref. You'd be ejected forever, dude.

How do you know? Have a crossing route to Travis Kelsey. Have him go right behind him and just absolutely smoke the rap. Because they'd review it. I forgot. Riffs can do that. Yeah, they review the fucking. The injury on the play to the ref.

God, this is so YouTube, man. NFL refs getting owned. NFL refs getting hit compilations. And the thumbnails and error of it. I'm always like, I'm the only person that's ever watched this. Seven million people. No, no way, dude.

This is a great YouTube video. This is the first thing. Jesus Christ, they're making money off this. Dude, besides like boobs, this is the second thing that every young dude searches. Tits. Ref's getting hit. Then I'm like, that's all I wanted to see for my whole life. Boobes and huge truck stick.

Maybe a big python fighting a lion. Please, ref getting nailed, dude. Yes. That was not that bad. That was not that bad. That was a real, I mean, we're starting to. Rev's kind of feels so like. We're starting the ultimate ref hit compilation.

It's so awkward. Yeah, that's got to be like a boom, dude. I want to see someone get their head. taken off. That's the same one. It's a weak one. Yeah, like don't stick on it for a minute in this compilation. Here we go.

Come on, baby. Oh, I remember this exact play. Does he pick it off? Oh, see Big Ben just nailed him right in the head. You dumb ass. Miss the bumblebee uniforms, though. I do. Me too.

God, the Fox game, so much cooler than CBS. You're so right. It's so. First take I ever agreed with Ben on. I mean, it's so obvious. Dude, that first one that you showed why in that high school game has trumped any of these. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Forget all these. These NFL refs are pros. They don't have to move and... But I remember growing up and seeing like a de-lineman get super pissed at a ref and he grabbed the flag off the ground, threw it at the ref. I think that was Albert Hainsworth. Maybe.

Like the ref hit him in the face with the flag. Yeah, it was Albert Hainsworth. No, no, no. He was pissed. And so he picked up the flag. and he threw it back at the ref and it hit the ref in the face. That's like, I mean, I don't know. That's like a good throw.

Like, you should get a point for that. The ref can't be too mad. It's like, damn. Yeah, the ref comes out. You hit me in the face of the flag in front of all these people on national TV. Like, good shit, bro. Stomp ejection. Yeah, he got ejected for that.

And then I'm pretty sure he might have gotten ejected for the flag. Dude, I remember this was just, this just ran ESPN at the time. I pretty sure he stepped on his face, actually, yeah. Wait, who hit him in the face? Albert Hainsworth stomped on this cowboy player's face. If I remember, I just remember Albert Hainsworth got the biggest deal ever was Washington, and then his fat ass couldn't pass the conditioning test, and so he, like, never worked out.

God, that's hilarious. NFL players is not passing the test. Like, come on. You got one fucking job. Is he going to throw the flag? No, he's stomping. He's stomping. Watch.

Stompby. Stompie goes Bonaug, bro. Oh, dude. How are you gonna get a... Oh my God! Dude, you're not gonna get a... And you like saw him take his helmet off too.

Wow. O. T.O. Cowboys. This is a throwback here. See it never. Yeah, gonna get ejected for that one guy. Whoops. How did we even start talking about that? I don't know. Do you ever think about becoming a ref?

Besides just doing a video on it to... No. Well, I don't know. rules when I'm playing. Think about being a ref and knowing all that shit? And I can't make decisions. Oh, yeah, dude. If somebody was like, maybe he stepped out of bounds, maybe not, I'd be like, I don't know.

Does the guy look cool? He looks cool when he was in. Like, that's how I'd make decisions. That has to happen, you know? And like youth sports, that has to happen so often. It has to happen even in, you know, college or pro sports. When their initial reaction, it's just got to be a gut like, yeah. You got to be such a.

refs around the house. Dude, refs would be like a good, good husband. They're fucking decision makers, dude. Where should go to eat? Red lobster. Yeah.

No questions asked. No, see, they, but they would be able to come in and figure out the dispute, not be the one who suggested first of all.

Oh, so like if you had a question, sure I do this or this? Talk to a ref. Yeah. Yeah. If you're deciding, if you and your girl

or if like the kids, you're like, all right, kids, if the, if the mom's, like, all right, kids, you guys, it's your birthday. You decide where we're going for dinner. And one's like, I want to go Fazuli!

The other one's like, I want to go Red Lobster. Yeah, yeah. And then they're like, well, let's talk to your father. And then he comes in and he sorts it out for 18 minutes. He steps up to the reviews of the play. Who said what first? It comes out. He taps his hip 18 times to make sure that the mic is on.

That's another thing about a ref. Like, you got to, you have to know how to, like, you got to talk, bro. Public speaking is part of the job. Imagine me the refs. coin toss? Those dudes do those dudes get paid?

Yeah. Has there ever been a cool rep that everybody's like on board with? Everybody always just got down with like Ed Hockely

because he was huge. Right. Ed fucking Hockely dude. And now he's the most ref name ever. What's you do that?

I don't know but his son's in the Cleet Blakeman that's the most that. It's Hakele though. Fourth pick.

Oh, that's him. Yep. Bench pressing in the picture too. Sean Hoculey. There he is. There's this kid.

Haculie. He was the ref for the Steelers Bengles opener. Yeah, dude. Morelli, River, I don't even know to say, Riveron,

Al Riveron. Man, that's just a guy you trust right there. Dude, I just hate, I hate the official that's in the broadcast booth.

That aspect of football games is so annoying to me. What, so there's like a, the guy that gives you, the call before they officially make it. Yeah, like every, they bring him in.

Most of the time he doesn't really provide anything, you know, Jim to answer, but like, all right, let's go to Sean Kerry. Sean, what are we seeing here?

And then he's like, well, if you look and see, he did not have possession, therefore he came down without the ball, therefore I'm going to agree, it's going to be incomplete. And then every time it comes back and it's wrong.

It is? I was going to ask my next question. Are they ever wrong? Good. Oh, yeah. That guy right there, Sean Kerry, I'm pretty sure his name is. He was on CBS for a while. He was always wrong.

Literally, whatever he would say, it would come back and be the opposite. That's so funny. Did he get fired? Pereira's pretty good, though. Pereira, I'm like, yeah, let's have a cigar. He's like Thursday Night Football guy? He's, uh, Fox. He was with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.

Yeah. That's funny how they all ride together. Right. I'm not doing this shit unless Troy's here. This is our crew. No, Troy and Joe left him behind, man. That's a Pereira with Greg Olson. Jason's ass.

Aaron Andrews too. Aaron Andrews. First crush for everybody or? I never really even. No? No. When the whole Aaron Andrews phase was like going on, I was like,

who is that? Hmm. I was more of, uh, Rachel Nichols. Rachel Nichols. Um, no.

I think of the, the sports girl who had red hair that was all like NBA for a while. that's Rachel Nichols Oh it is Rachel Nichols ESPN Yeah she had some shit to go down

She don't work at ESPN anymore Oh really? Yeah She always seemed pretty cool Like pretty like Yeah Rachel Nick We always say people's names

grown up And always end it with ESPN Yeah Dude what's up with Are a bunch of people That you follow online Are they all getting invited to like movie premieres and show premieres and shit? Yeah. What is the deal with that? Like,

how do we, like, where are we at? Like, how can we get on a red carpet for some, like, there's a few people that I follow that like literally that's the only content that they have now is like the just them at red carpets. I'm like, I know. Can I get an invite? That's cool, but what, like, how? How are you qualified? So you're just out here asking questions? Or like, they're not even asking questions. They just go. They go and they like just give pictures and video. videos of them. Yeah. Didn't have the little Getty images thing show up.

I did that at the Kentucky Derby. Yeah, I remember when I went away and I was like going to interview people on the red carpet. That was the first. Oh, I do remember. That was the first red carpet experience of my life and it was very interesting to see the behind the scenes of how I go about it. Who was there?

They like have a handler who comes out with the person and like has a whiteboard that's like saying who it is just in case. Because there's. Oh, that's. influencers and stuff that go. So then like the people getty images. They're like snapping the pictures. They don't know.

They're like, oh, they go back to like they can file it in there. Of course, then you know, you have like actors, the guy from Breaking Bad, not Walter White,

the other guy. Dennis, I think his name is or the bald guy. You'll, you'll break him. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Jesse? No, no, not the main two. He plays Hank. Hank. Yeah, the guy who plays Hank.

He was there. Jimmy Johnson, the race car driver. um you'd rapaport from NFL network Dean Norris there it is yeah Dean Norris was there but yeah even for like the big

big time people they would have like you know a really pretty girl in heels walk out and have the white board and then they'd stand right there and then they'd go each to each little marking and then dude the photographers and videographers are ruthless oh my god

and shit and like I try to like sneak in and get a spot and somebody got pissed they were like I've been here that's mine and I was I was like, okay, but you bounce for a little bit. And they were like, no, I had that marked. Yeah, I was like, okay. So I took a step back, but they are a ruthless man about their territory. Were you interviewing people?

Yeah. I wouldn't give you a spot. I know. I was like, I have a mic and I'm on camera, so fuck off. But I get it. That's like how they make their living actually taking and providing those photos. Totem pole, bro. Jimmy over here.

Jimmy, smile real quick. Jimmy, over here, over here. Hey, real quick. Hey, dude, to your right, Jimmy. I was like, getting images. Hey, can we have some pictures too, Getty? Holy shit. Just own every picture on the internet, Getty.

Who is Getty? Okay, who is Getty? Step forward, Getty. I'd like to speak with you. Where does he live? You're ruining my fucking internet career. Every picture I want, it says Getty images on it. You are monopolizing the images.

He is the OG of watermarks. Guys, first name has to be John, right? John Getty. makes way too much sense. Man, first watermark ever. Look at that. You know you made it when he got a picture and it says Getty images on it.

Yeah. Getty runs shit, bro. Jeff Kravitz. Getty images. Yeah, can we get a look on that? Hey, can I get a picture of Getty? Who is Getty? There's no pictures of Getty.

There's just pictures of everybody else with his name on it. Getty. Here we go. Please be John. Is that fucking, is that him on the right? Two of the most photographer-looking people ever. Wait.

Is this the actor that we just felt? Dean. Dean Norris owns Getty. Really? You son of a gun. Getty family takes full control of Getty images from the New York Post. Now we're working.

Mark Getty. Isn't it weird when like... You figure out somebody... Well, just like thinking about how like... Like businesses are people's last names like that. I know. I know. It's so funny. Crew car.

I'm like, oh, that sounds good. There I go. You know, Jordan Crew? I'm like, that's not his argument. Oh, yeah. She's the heiress to the crew family fortune. Like, wow, I want to go to her open house. This is every joke ever that my dad's ever made.

We're at like, like, McAllister's delis. Here we go. What's taking so long? And the guy walks out of the back. He's like, is that Joe McAllister? I'm like, God, damn it. Wait, wait, wait, okay, hold on. Is this Gettie images?

As oil tycoon. John. His name was John. Yes. Let me see. Let me see. No way this is the Getty Images crew. Dude,

they're all dead. They're all in black and white. Let's read this headline for everybody here real quick. As oil tycoon John Gilbert Getty dies, a who's who of the Getty family dynasty. Yes. John Getty. Boom.

New his name is going to be John. Had to be. Go to that family tree on the Google. John Paul Getty. Of course. That's him, bro. He's the guy that's ruining every fucking picture. on the internet, this guy.

Of course it's this guy. Face melting off. Even smallest glass ever in giant hands. I just need a sip. We gettys. We don't, uh, we don't drink off and Gordon Getty, bro. Look at this guy.

Hey, put the watermark on your shit. How about that? Yeah, that's hilarious. Wow. MFs be ruin in every other picture. John Getty, Gordon Getty, and Gilbert Getty. every rich person

I'm so sure it's so weird every rich person and every like assassin has three names two first names every serial killer every assassin

and every rich person three names Paul John Getty Jr. John Paul Oh my bad John Paul Getty Jr. Mark Getty

there we go he's the one that they didn't like that much so he's given Mark but he's the most successful one for sure look that wine glass

is chilling in the back you're going to finish that forgot about that night. Or was it? Is that strategically placed there? Oh, yeah. John Paul Getty the third.

Fucking A. I'm so excited that I knew their name was John Getty. It just fits. It really does. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Balthazar? Balthazar. Jingle all the way.

Phil Hartman, you remember that scene? Shut up. You haven't seen jingle all the way? Oh, my God. No, I haven't seen that. Ivy Getty? Whoa. What are we doing?

She literally is poison ivy. Like the Batman villain. I'm Getty. Imagine if you came up to somebody and I'm like, yeah, I'm Getty images. They'd be like, no, no. Like that, that would, I would not. Well, see, what would happen is, right, somebody would be like, hey, this is Mark and then this is my other buddy, John Getty.

And I'd be like, oh, right, of Getty images, right? Thanks for all those watermarks. And they'd be like, yeah, no, that that is of Getty images. I'd be like, oh, God, okay. That's exactly how that interaction would get. You owe me $700 on the bootleg pictures you've taken off the internet. You ever see a real, I mean, they are the best pictures. Yeah, they're clear.

They're so crispy HD, the exact shot you want. That's like, that's the duality of Getty images is that you want to have a Getty image of yourself because that means you made it, but then you don't because you're probably not going to look that good. Because it's such a high quality photo. And who's buying this? Who's getting your Getty image? for $12. Who gives this shit?

Yeah, you're a little bit sweaty in it too. Mark James Joyce, the serial killer who buys, who buys Gettie images of people and then makes that his target. When you're important, do you need four names? Telling you. Yeah. I'm about to hyphenate the shit out of my last name. What's your middle name again?

Do you have a middle name? No. That'd be so funny if you didn't have a middle name. Dude, I just didn't accept. it. How about people who don't like their first names and then they just get a cool nickname? Like my son. No, that's a good. I mean, all right, so my friend AC from the show, his first name is Alfred. Alfred's, I don't hate Alfred. I mean, that's bad. Goes by AC. Like, AC's cool. So you can do that.

I think it's Alfred. Alfred, that's bold. How are there, his folks coming down with Alfred. That's what I'm saying. Like your two-year-old format. Oh, what a beautiful baby. What should we name? Alfred. O.G format, huh? A baby named Alfred? Who's looking at that thing, thinking Alfred?

It's always the youngest name ever when you see a baby. Here I go. Poor Larry. A baby named Larry. Love that. Lawrence. Frankie. No, that's not as bad as Larry.

No. Larry is just... Frankie's got some play. Larry's just forever old. Larry's just, you're going to be a plumber. This guy knows how to fix a sink. It's a fucking baby. Ass crack already hanging out of his pants.

All part of the family business. Water's not coming out full stream. Get baby Larry over here. Fucking crawls and through the door. Fucking sink's fixed in two seconds. Dude. Every plumber's name is Larry and every... Every plumber.

Harry Palmer's name is Larry and every like car text name is Ed Yeah it is like It has a patch on their shirt With a cursive The mechanic Yeah the mechanics dude

I think they can only hire you If your name is three letters or less Because the patch isn't big enough It doesn't fit five letters Your name's like Marcus They're like uh-uh I'm not gonna cut it Can you do mark for us

And he's like yeah I kid Now even that's kind of cutting the clothes Yeah we're gonna talk to our patch guy. To the patch. I'll just Ed, Joe. That's it. Joe's Max.

John's fucking getting close. J-O-N though. Yeah, they're all actual names legally are J-O-H-N. But if you see John, you know what the deal was. Ed.

We'll give you a 30-minute longer lunch break if you go J-O-N. That cursive-ass font. Deal. The three weave E. First cursive ever. First cursive fauna ever. Man, that guy knows how to change some goddamn oil, doesn't he, though.

Jeff. Jeff. See, that's Frank. Look at. Oh, shut up. Oh, my God. You're kidding me. Oh, wow.

That's amazing. We got fans. Oh, my God. This is exactly what. we were talking about. Man, Kevin's a, oh, that is long, man. That's, that's an OG patch name. Tony, yeah, definitely. That's another one. Bob. Jeez. Well, look at these short-ass names. Ron. Can't be more than four. Ray. Four is Max. Ray. Anybody name Ray can literally fix anything. Anybody. While smoking a cigarette. Ray can build you a house in his fucking sleep, dude.

Keep going. I want to see some more of these. How about those like, you ever go into a gas station? And like there's that. Reg? No way. See, I would see that as reg. No way. Oh, yeah.

I saw Reg. Reg, but like no one's name's reg. It's just how I see it. Why is that Rich Eisen right there in that photo? Oh, up top. The top one. Yeah. At first it did when it's small.

Minimized. You ever going to a gas station? there's those, like, license plates that, like, say everybody's names on it. Oh, yeah. So you buy one. Right. Never my name. Like, my name's pretty easy.

Yeah. It's always like Jacqueline. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, who, why did I always want to get those for like a girlfriend for some reason? I was like, oh, this means a lot because it has her name on it. Oh, when Coke did that with the cans. Oh, yeah.

Crazy move. You were, Jedi trick from Coke. You were trying to do that for like a Valentine's gift to put it in the basket, you know? Or you were trying to. to ask a girl to homecoming or ask a girl out or something with it. All the Coke names.

Just like the mechanic names. Reg. You see Reg on a Coke bottle? R.E.G. How many people out here are named Reg? Yeah, I dated a girl that there was no chance that her name would ever show up on any of those. And so, nah.

For those who know, no. But it was like, yeah, her name was not like an Aaron or a Kelly or an Anna. Yeah. It does not happen. And I was like, geez, I got to customize a Coke bottle. Jesus Christ. You got to get on the website.

Now you got to make a username and password for Coke.com. Got to get an Apple ID for some reason. Do you write down all your passwords and usernames? Do you have or do you just trust that Google hasn't saved? Or is that not even your browser? No, it's to the point. No, Google's the browser. But it's just to the point to where like I go into it and I just put my email in and

then I just forgot password and I just reset it every time. it's half the reason I don't do anything is username and password. 75% of my day is logging in the shit. It's the worst. But it has to be done. This is the life we live. I mean, to me,

it's like that I chose. For some reason, the reason I do that now is because whenever I go back and look at the ones that I wrote down, it never ends up being what I wrote down. So I'm like, well, fuck this then. I'm just going, I'm just going to go in blind.

and say my email, forgot password, bang. I do, like, I enjoy filling out the questions that are like, what was your first, like, teacher's name, you know, like the security questions. I'm like, oh, yeah, who do your favorite teacher? I'm like, who do I want to pick? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Always gets a hang up on me that when it's like the favorite team, I'm like, oh, was it my college team?

Right, yeah. Was it like the college and then? their nickname or was it just like boiler makers? Yeah, favorite team it's like, man, what year was it? Will they know, you know? Yeah. Are the Steelers going to hear about this? Is Miss Collins going to hear about this?

It's always like your address, you first grew up on them like, I don't know. Or like one that's kind of a technicality. Like, you know, your first pet or is your family's first pet, right? Like your first pet that you have. Actually my sisters. But it's like the first one that I was around in the house. I kind of think about it for a second.

Actually, I'm going to go to my mom's maiden name. What is my mom's maiden name? Yeah, you got to call her. Hey, what was your name before your name? I know I'm 30, but what was your name before your name? It's so funny. The amount of times I've asked my mom, I'm like, how the fuck do you spell that? Okay.

What was it, though? Can't say. No, I'm just kidding. Mahatsky. Is that crazy? Seriously? He thought, dude, we used to play this game. And we used to be like, what's your mom's maiden name?

And then we'd just call the dude by their mom's made name like all practice. Instead of like, yo, uh, Andrews, we'd say their mom's maiden name. And it was so fucked up. So people are just calling me Mahatsky for two practices straight. Mahatsky sounds like a pretty nasty ass linebacker. Yeah, it does. You know, that's not bad. Like, that's like, Mahatsky.

But like, how do you spell it? Yeah, I know. So I'd be calling my mom with security questions on, like... Dude, yeah, because you would think, like, if it was like... There's a TZKE in there somewhere that you can't even... Yeah. Can't put your finger on it. I got it saved in the nuts.

Such a linebacker, though. What about you? McKinney. Ooh. Yeah. All right. But such a linebacker, though, man. Just the longest nice name on the back, cowboy collar.

Hey, you know, you're thinking of? No gloves. Chad Bratsky. Hey, Bill Romanowski. Where to go? Oh. I feel like Clemson for some reason. Hey, why?

Can you look up where Chad Bratsky wants to go into college? It's either Clemson or Boston College. This is so funny. This is the most real-life shit we've ever done. B-R-A-T-Z-K-E. Not that I know. Call his mom asked my husband.

B-R-A-T. Right there, right there, right there. College, college, college, college. East? Wait, Eastern Kentucky? Oh, damn. Yeah, you knew he wasn't a D1 guy. Damn.

He looks, dude, look at that ball. He's a guy that's more ready to hit somebody. Show me him. Also, he's definitely the guy who played the choo-choo train on Waterboy. The fucking, what was the guy's name of Waterboy? I got to see this. Shit, choo-train, water boy. Dude, Google searches are so fucking Bratsky.

Oh, Meany! Meany! Of course, that's his... Look up. Meany Waterboy, dude.

Now look at Meany Waterboy. Those jerseys were tight, though. Meany as a linebacker. Dude, that's Chad Bradsky. Holy hell it is. That's fucking Chad Bratsky. Eastern Kentucky. Good look at that, man.

He's got a little thing of a face, but I mean, come on. The things I would do to look exactly like Chad Bratsky. I do probably anything. Look at this guy. Holy Jesus. What do you shave your head with? A machete?

In the locker room, totally naked too. Dude, like a guy like that, the most man ever, goatee doesn't connect. Come on, man. Just three centimeters. Actually, he probably shaves it on purpose. He's like, I can't be that manly. Definitely, dude.

Hey, what was the other guy you said, though? I said, Chad Bratsky and you said. Bill Roman Alston. Where do you go, dude? Was that the guy that was on steroids? Oh, yeah. It's like Romnawski went to USC. This guy's the most linebacker ever.

Romo cop. Romo cop. Where do you go? It doesn't even say, one sec. College. Yeah. Boston College, of course. Be more of the linebacker.

Linebacker, you. At Boston College. He's just a good Catholic boy. coming downhill. Roy dog. Bill Romanowski. Coming downhill. Royd dog.

Fill in the gaps. Dude of course has a fucking buzzed flat top like military. Sir, yes sir. Another one that like your mom thought was hot. Oh yeah. What about that guy? It's like Mahatsky,

Romanowski. That kind of works. Anything that last name ends with the ski. Getty images. Getty images. Jesus. John Getty.

Dude. Is this like a Rocky movie or is this Bill Romanowski? Look at this. Adrian. Dregal! Same shit, dude. I'm about to get his jersey.

The most American flag guy ever. Dude, that does look like Sylvester Stallone. Wow. Sylvester Stallonesky. Every football team that had a player that had, you know, the last name that ended with ski. just called him ski. Oh,

that's such a good nickname. Just a given, man. Hey, ski! Not even, not even close. One, because the coach of course, you know,

I ain't saying all that. He'd like mess it up on purpose too. It's like, it's really not that hard. Oh, you're just skiing. Coach isn't giving people

nicknames. Hand in hand. I had a teammate when I was in high school. Of course, his name was Michael Jackson. Real name. That's so funny.

His name is Michael Jackson. Our coach called him Tito. Come on. His brother's name was Michael Jackson. One of the Jackson 5 was Tito. Not bad. So they call him Tito. You think,

I think coaches like skip the game plan and they're just like, all right, nicknames. That's what we would do for sure. Enough with the three, four nicknames. Especially, I mean, come on. Cut it in half. Adeno. That's the, that's the,

it's the name's Shepard. It's Shepo. So lazy. You know, you can't figure it out. Cut in half, add no. Especially it's like Shepard, come on. If you could go with a bunch of, cheap a bunch of, you know.

It's got to be five letters max is what the coaches will say. Anything over five letters is you get a nickname. Oh, and E at the end. So they all have to be mechanics. That's been on. Worst nicknames over. Bonich.

Bonnie. Bono. Bono. Wow. Like from you two? Guess so. You don't know who that is. The only reason I know is because it was forced upon my iPhone that one time.

That was so weird. I was like, I don't want, I appreciate it, but I don't. I remember people, you know, yeah, a few people online were like, this is the future of marketing, just dropping it and giving it into you when you don't even know it. I'm like, is it? And I think it just kind of people didn't know or it pissed them off. How about nobody even knowing what that album was? Right.

You can't name it. You're like, huh, why did my dad get my phone and download this? Yeah. I know he's still playing. for my plan but didn't know he's I didn't know he could do that remotely go through your internet search clear it all out real quick

delete cookies my dad's on to this shit delete I love how they give cookie like why would they why are they called it the thing everybody wants why come on man cookies they didn't even spell it differently

it's literally IES cookies man every time I'm like damn I'm kind of hungry now just cleared my history like where are we eating Couldn't have called it herpes, you know? I mean, something. Stuff you don't want.

Right. Not cookies. The term, oh, it was derived from the term magic cookie, which is a packet of data a program receives and sends back unchanged. Okay. It was coined by web browser programmer Lou John Getty. The guy who created the name Cookie, just fattest guy ever. It's Santa.

Should we call them. Mr. Claus? He's like, hey, oh, I have an idea. Dude, what kind of cookies did you leave Santa? Did you guys even celebrate? It's so funny, dude. It's such a good question.

Well, one year I think we got lazy as hell and just threw some fucking Oreos out there. You know, I was like 15, 16. Kind of over. It's definitely over. It's not, I know, but you want to keep the magic alive. It's definitely over. You guys.

A little bit of me still believed. You guys are. I sure it's tough, by the, yeah, it is. You and the, you and your dad and your sisters. Literally just my, just me and my dad. No way, it's you and your dad. And you're like, I think I'm about to turn in B. And you're like, yeah, I'm pretty tired.

And you're like, he's like, yeah, so we've done everything before we go to bed. And you're like, I don't know. I can turn this light off. Can you give me a glass? of water. He's like, yeah, we need to, we do anything else? And you're like, you guys, you guys both want to put the cookies out so bad,

but you just keep, keep shuffling through. Actually, I think I need to brush my teeth. Is there anything else we need to do? Then you're like, I mean, I guess we could put out something for Santa. He's like, yeah, I mean, we don't it's up to you when you're like, yeah, just some Oreos, though, you know. No, we don't even go there. He's like, what are you talking about

stockings? But he knows damn well, I mean, cookies. Stockings, pre. What are you? Dude, if Santa got those... The second episode in a row, we've talked about Santa, but if Santa got those... Every episode.

If Santa got those Christmas Oreos with the red icing. Jolly St. Nick. Laughing is jolly ass all the way. Who's not eating that? All the way to the end of the middle aisle of the Oreos, because nobody goes on the sides.

Yeah. Way better than a homemade cookie. Oreos? Yeah, the Red Or, if you're Santa, so you're Santa. You slide down the chimney. You know, you got a homemade cookie after homemade cookie house after house after house. They're not great.

They've been sitting out all night. It's true. You know, they're not in the like cookie jar with the bread. I was just about to say, I think that Santa would appreciate that. I definitely would. How about that mom hack? Putting a slice of bread in the cookie jar? When I was a kid, I was like, what the fuck is that doing in there?

Why is there the butt of the bread that's kind of weird? And then you open it up and you realize, oh my God, these cookies have been soft for six days. What if instead of the cookies, you just ate the bread every time? You would. Yeah. That's your treat. Your mom's like, who's eating the... I thought that's why you put it in there.

It's like the mystery, like, fruit snack, you know? How is it? Mystery gummy and the snack, you always get the white one. It's the bread. That would be kind of old. I love chocolate chip cookies. Don't get me wrong. But after a while, it would be like, can I get a snaker doodle up in here?

I know. You got to change it up If you see some Oreos at some random house You're like hell yeah Something I get down with in the milk You're like you like snee You like accidentally leave another present That belongs to another kid

Yeah Same shit But you leave it for that one Because they gave the Oreos Man I think Oreos came out with the Halloween Oreos that they did that with first With the orange cream That was that was a game changer

When your friend that was like eight when you're like eight and he brought those to lunch the orange cream Oreos you were like oh god I always had the most bitch lunch dude I never had cool shit never had cool shit you brown bagged it brown bagged it yeah but then like

you know me too I'd be making breakfast and eating breakfast and my mom was a stay-at-home mom most of the time so she would like hook up the lunch call what it is I was like 11 and 12 everybody shut up but you know so she would like pack to lunch and whatnot what do you mean you think you should pack your lunch when you're 11 or 12.

Some people get your own lunch. People get weird about that, man. Some people take so much pride. I'm like, okay. Like, if your mom offered it to you, you would do the same. If you're packing your own lunch when you're 11,

you're just putting a bunch of shit in there. Exactly. Fucking the only 14 fudge rounds in a bag. That's what I would do if I was 11. Exactly. And a giant thing of goldfish filled to the brim. Yeah, you don't know.

Portions and health. My mom would always get the lunch bag. and be a big one, and she would just basically do like one little, like, line of goldfish at the end. I'm like, yeah,

the bottom of the, just six gold fish in a bag. Yeah, I'm like, what, we're wasting bag space here. One, two,

what is this doing for me? It's not even teasing the appetite. Yeah. Like, that, I was the same way, bro. Like,

my friends would have Cheetos. I'd have, like, carrots. Ha, ha, B, and J. PB&J. PB&J, carrots. Capri's son

was like the special thing I had. And that was kind of it. I saw that too. Wow. Thought that dog was fake. Super cute. Wow. I literally can't remember. I had a drink, a sandwich, and carrots. One time I had like, oh my, we had leftovers. Damn, you didn't get any like snack, any, you know, crunchy snack, nothing good, man, nothing good. Maybe wheat thins. Oh, Jesus. Wheat thins, bro. Or, the triscuits. Just anything my mom would eat throughout the day I got for lunch. There's like a glass of wine in there. Just sends you to school with a box of wine.

Oh, whoops. Packed that in there. Most Italian thing ever. You like, if you like Penae and a box of wine for lunch, you're like, oh, shit, I'm 12. You want a glass? Teachers just coming up to you at lunch.

All the teachers. How drunk are teachers? I was thinking about that. I was thinking about... Teachers are drunk. How drunk teachers are and just like how drunk parents are. Like when you're a kid and you just don't even realize it, you know?

And you become an adult and you're just like, oh, wow. That's how they got through everything. I remember getting a test bag from like my English teacher and there'd be like a wine stain on it. And I was like, I do remember that. Yep. That happened to everybody, right? I'd be like, damn, you're just out here. Just out here read my weird paragraphs all drunk.

I guess you do have to get drunk to read some like fifth grade paragraphs. My shit. Explain your work. me dude never explain work yeah the work page for math you're like I just looked in the back of the book

for the answers come on cheated on the other ones don't do this too yeah I know the odds odds still don't get it fractions odds are always in the back of the book

yeah no shit oh odd answers yeah I know but they don't got textbooks like that anymore I don't think but you know what they do have the internet so kids just find it everywhere literally just do what why it does with us just google three three seventh of one fourth but i was i was in this i was in this class at marian and it was like very old-timey like stupid class and you had to like no like uh songs from back in the day

beethoven shit and just all this stuff you had to memorize like the composer the song you didn't know And there's like 10 of them. And I was sweating it, dude. It was hard because I'm like, I could have just shazammed the songs on my phone. Yeah. And had everything right there. Smart.

I was late to the game. It's all right. That's tough, you know. You got to take into consideration, the cheating. Right. Tough to pull that one out. Yeah, that's a tough one. That's okay.

What else? What's up? I don't know. I had something I was going to say. but now I'm like, damn, what was it? I don't know. I lost my bag over the weekend while I was flying. What?

I was annoying. I mean, like, they found it. But like going to Dallas and my brother-in-law is coming with me and we're in group seven. Why is, have you ever been in a group other than group seven? No, because I get my tickets like the day before the plane leaves. I think you have to buy tickets like two years before you go somewhere.

I have never been in a group other than. in group seven when boarding a plane. It's insane. Yeah. I don't even, even if I was in group one, I would sit in the chairs until everybody, I sit there until everybody goes in the plane and literally till they say my name on the speaker, then I'm like, all right, time to board the plane. That's good. Man, talk about the ultimate group think, just an airport. Heard mentality, just like, as soon as they're like, okay, we're bored, everybody just gets up and goes and what are you doing? You're going to stand up there? I mean, maybe if it's like first come, first serve seating in the plane.

But you know when you can do it. So why is Group 7 going when they just open the mic to board? It makes no sense. It's so dumb. Dude, I sit. I will chill, bro. I've almost missed my flight because I refuse to stand in that pack. I respect that.

I do. I'm plugged into an outlet sitting like a weirdo on the ground, like trying to edit a video or something. Good. I need to do that because me and my brother-in-law, we would hold out for a while, but then it got to the point. Herd mentality was like,

hey, probably should just go. Fuck them. So anyways, we go. And of course, because we're group seven, it's a full flight. So they're like, I'm sorry, we have no more overhead bin space. We're going to have to check. We're like, fuck, okay. So then we take our bags and we check.

We have the tag and everything. Then we go down and we're at the end of the tunnel getting ready to get on the plane. And we drop them at the same time. Same person takes our bag. Yeah. We're like, here you go. She's like, yep, okay. throws them.

All right, good to go. Go on the flight. go down in Dallas waiting for the luggage standing there Greg my brother-in-law gets his I'm standing there mine does not show up like how does this happen how do we give him the same exact time

how does this happen go where's it go I know go and talk to the people I'm like I'm about the toy story to this shit just like go down the ramp into the tunnels of everything and go find my bag go and talk to people the lady's like what's your bag tag give her the back tag she's like hmm I'm surprised you knew the bag

Well, I had like the receipt for the checking. Once I get their receipt. I throw that shit away. Immediately, dude. Any paper I have at the airport, trash. So I said, I said, yeah, okay, give it that. She says, okay, well, it's here. We have it.

I'm like, okay, well, where is it? Well, it's here at the airport. I don't know. Let me try to run the line again. I was like, why don't you just go get it? if you have it, why don't she just go get it, bring it back to me, right?

Yeah. She runs the fucking thing again, doesn't show up again. So I can go back. Nope, still not there, even though you said that you have it at the airport.

I'm being kind. I'm not being rude. Guy next to her is like, just chimes in. Do you have any explosives in there? No. Yeah, just my fucking bagger grenades that bring with me everywhere.

Right. Yeah, that I got through TSA somehow, you fucking idiot. So I was like, nope, no explosives or devices. Is there sharp object?

No? If I did, would you find my bag quicker? Because yeah, there's a fucking TNT stick in there. Go track that thing down.

It's on a timer. Okay, so you better find it. You got three seconds to find my fucking bag for this whole place erupts. It's on a timer.

I have a strap to me right here. I can blow it at any time. Open up your fucking winter coat. Now you ready? Bain. Huh? Now you ready to find my bag?

You suddenly have like an accent. You sound like I was ready made in the dark. My bombs on a timer, bitch, get my bag. It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan? All the, you got any explosives in there? I was like, well, what kind of question is that?

You are madly adopted a doc. So anyways, so yeah, okay, so I, I, okay, so then me and Greg are standing outside waiting for our Uber. He's like, what if you just want to go back in there and check? You know, maybe it shows up, you know? I'm like, yeah, but then we're going there and we'll wait forever and it wants. I was like, let's just go to the hotel. They said they delivered. Okay.

We're getting the Uber. We're literally five minutes outside of the airport. Get a call. Is this Joey? Yep. Hey, um, are you still at the airport by chance? Nope. Oh, because we just have your bag here.

I was like, I'm in the Uber to my hotel. Okay, well, you can't come back and, get it? No, I don't really want to tell my Uber. Can you just deliver it? Okay, that's fine. We'll deliver it. Did they? 815. They're like, well, send it out for delivery right now. Doesn't show up. Oh, that's like three to five days. I feel like. Doesn't show up the next day. Nobody's answering my calls. All right. So I'm just in the same clothes that I have been. By the way, I have a sponsored shoot that I have to do at like all your shit's in the bag. All my shit's in there. So I'm like, okay, what the fuck. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to give it until about this time.

I'm going to go to Target right down here. I'm just going to buy some. some stuff because that's all, it's the only choice I have. So I go buy clothes from Target. Literally as I put my pants on that I just bought, I got a call, hey, Joseph, I got your bag. I'm heading your way. Every time. Yeah, why do they all sound like that? And then on top of it, I'm staying at this place called canopy by Hilton. You know what I mean? When like a, a hotel or a restaurant is like under the same umbrella of a larger, right? Yeah, yeah. So it, you know, it'd be like roasters by St. Elmo's or something, right? You know what I mean? Like something like that. Give me one name. What are you a photographer?

Yeah. Serial killer, photographer. Roasters by Getty. So I'm like, okay, yeah, she's like, where are you? I said, I'm at the canopy by Hilton. The voice, dude. The what by Hilton? The canopy. Okay. And it's by what? By Hilton. By Hilton. okay, but where is that? Here's the address. She's falling out of a plane. I'm like, so she, I'm like, no, no, no, it's not, it's not, it's not by, it's not next to Hilton.

She thought I was saying it's like canopy. It's the canopy by Hilton, you know, next to the Hilton. I'm like, no, no, no, no. It's not the one next to it. It's under the same company. It's the canopy by Hilton. Okay, I'll be there 15 minutes. No.

Just got packed my parachute. Oh my God. Dude, it was just, it was tough. One time, I know, one time I landed in Indianapolis, had a show downtown at 7 p.m. Got to the airport at 6.30. So I had half an hour to get my bag and go. To a show in Indy?

Yeah. Like I was flying back from New York. show in India at 7 landed in India at 630 it's like tough I'm like texting the manager in the club I'm like put me like fifth like and uh okay the bag I don't make it bro gotta come all the way back the next day to the airport to pick up my bag I told yes I know I I told Greg I said on the way back

I was like if we have to check our bags again I'm showing up to the airport back home I'm getting in a car and leaving I'm just like just fucking send it to me. I'm not waiting around. I'm not coming back to get it. No. Do you know, if you check a bag, like boarding a plane,

you have to check it an hour before the plane takes off. Did you know that? It makes sense because I had to do it last minute because I was forced to and then they lost it. Dude, me and why are at the airport in New York? This was insane.

JFK Airport? I hate JFK Airport. So, all right, I need to get there an hour before my flight. Flight's at 9. We get to the airport at 8.07 a.m. They're like too late. Seven minutes too late.

You couldn't check it? No, they're like, it's got to be an hour. I've never heard of that. Since when? I guess it's like you only know until you fuck. Like you fuck. Then you learn. Got to be an hour.

Dude, so they're like in all the other planes are full. And I was like, huh? And they're like, yeah, your seats. all good, but you got to get here an hour before to check the bag. And I was like, so what do I do? They're like, we're going to find you another flight. The next one's at 8 o'clock, like, p.m. Oh, my God. And I'm like, what? And they're like, actually that one's full too. So your seats are good. So why couldn't they just like ship your bag? And they already,

it's already went through the process. That's such fucking bullshit. So dude, I have to go to the other airport in New York. LaGuardia? Yeah. Yeah. And get a whole other flight. Nightmare. like, dude, I don't even care about this shit in the bag. Then you had to, yeah, just, I'll leave it. Literally, I'll take the L. just send me the fuck home. Oh, man. Nightmare. Nightmare stuff, dude.

And then like the weird restaurants where you have to kill time. I never see that. The airport version of Chili's, the airport version of TGI Fridays. Airport food sucks. Randomly. Oh, yeah, you're never eating good. You're never eating, like, healthy at an airport. Mm-mm.

But you're always starving. And I'm like, so what could I get if I'm hungry at my? like that banana that's been sitting there for two months. Get a banana or one of those like peanuts. Stachios. Real stale cold sandwiches that are, you know, in the,

in the, one of those cases. I don't know. They're like the cold cut sandwiches that they just mass produce. They're just there. They're like, I guess I'll get that.

How about the line? The line for like McDonald's or a line for Starbucks? Chick-fil-A. Just. There's no chance. Why would you? ever get in that line. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. Nope. Airport, man. Terrible. Terrifying. Food. What is it? People who work at airports.

I was wondering about that, too. Like, you're working at the Chili's at the airport? Huh? If I ever work at an airport, just put a gun to my head. End it. Like, that's the lowest for me. Working at an airport.

Being a bartender there could be kind of fun. You know, everybody's just like, you're, everybody's glad you're meeting everyone. You're meeting everyone. and like a lot of times they're probably shitty coming in that they're there but you're the one who's like gets to cheer them up you know yeah who's ever been happy to be at an airport bar

i guess we're coming every thursday if you're going to a trip you know what i mean if you're like on the way and you're like yep don't board for two hours so we're just you know having i think they call them like termies termi beer terminal beer termines termines sounds not good like that's Sounds like a STD. Yeah. You got termies? Cut some termies in Atlanta. All right.

Let's get out of here. That's it. These guys. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Peace.