THESE GUYS! - How Do You Wrap a Bike?

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

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Noon would roll around. My mom would be like, did you check the stockings? Would it be like, oh my god? Like they're like- See, and that the best part? I know, but it like we knew it wasn't gonna be anything cool in there. It was just like some dumb. Oh my god Okay, Hillary Duff song on my Apple music. That's always embarrassing the things you were just listening to when you get into somebody's car. Oh no, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna put no, I'm not gonna plug it in. You just fucking. I'm good. Hillary Duff with love and behind these hazel eyes with Kelly Clarkson last two. How does it behind these hazel eyes go again? Uh-oh, are you sure? About the hit copyright.

Just three seconds. Yep. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Locked in. Locked in. Whole episode, just I was playing the first two seconds of a song. Perfect. Trying to get.

Perfect episode. Can we? Please? That's all I went for Christmas. First four seconds of his song. Merry Christmas, guys. For an hour. Yeah, at the end.

Thanks for listening. Merry. I still don't know what I'm doing here. Podcast. I think it's 65. I think Wyatt's right. Is he now? All right.

Enough of this. Jesus. All right. I'm going to kill myself. 65. All that. Wyatt says it and Joey Joy, Joy, confirms the old Polesey polls

got to have it. What if we were wrong, you know? What if we were wrong? Who if we're all wrong? Yeah. Could have been. TG 65.

65. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Can never just be Christmas. It's just Christmas. Dude. Me and Rye, we've been bringing back the, who is that chick? Camilla Cabo.

I'll be home for Quizmoy. Ooh, I don't even know what that is. Oh, man. It was all over TikTok. Like last year or two years ago, she did it. I think she was singing at like the main. Not the Macy's the tree lighting and Rockefeller Center. She messed up.

No, it's just like how she pronounced it, you know? You know how sometimes people, and I saw another TikTok that's like making fun of indie singers and how they all sing like that. Oh, I saw that too.

La. No. I'm so sick of that voice. Yeah. It's like 600 people that sound exactly that said. Be home for Quizno. Quizmoys. For Quiznos.

Look at us. We're recording. We got a white-ass Christmas, too. I mean, it was just meant to be today. Let's do it for three hours. I don't give a fuck. Right in the snow fell. Did I felt like a girl.

I was like, oh my God, I'm going to take a picture of the sky and send it to the three people. Maybe put it on my story. It's snowing every year. Merry Christmas. I'm like, God. Then I look at it. I'm like, wow, it's beautiful. And it's going to be like 56 degrees on Sunday.

So fuck us. What is that cold? No. No. 56 degrees. 56 degrees in December. And Christmas is Sunday? Monday. Get your beach towels out. Yeah, Monday. Christmas Eve is Sunday. NFL all day Christmas

special. You think Christmas Eve likes Christmas? Just thinking about that in the car. Do you think, I think it's getting to the point where Christmas now is like, hey, fuck you. Get out of my territory. Really? Get off my territory, Christmas Eve. Damn. I think Christmas Eve is cooler. That's what I'm saying. Is that Christmas is like, hey, whoa, whoa. Oh, this is my day. I'm the one here. You're the king. I'm the king. Christmas Eve's like, hey, that's so fast. You're the Pippin. I'm Jordan. All right, boss. But everybody's kind of like, hey,

he did win defensive MVP. Jordan wouldn't have been the same without, he wouldn't have been the same. He wouldn't have six rings without Bippen. Everybody's kind of creeping in under that territory. So I think Christmas is,

yeah, I think they're kind of trying to take a stand. Christmas Eve, dude. I'm pro Christmas Eve. I like the underdog. Let's go. Let's go. 33 on the balls.

It's not even an underdog anymore. I don't think it is. I don't think it is. What if you did top five holidays and you went Christmas at one and Christmas Eve at two? That would shake the world. Chris don't hold it!

Chris you don't hold it! Chris you don't hold it! Same guys as their favorite holiday, St. Patrick's Day. Green beer. Dude. Cut your head off. Green beer. I have to tap.

St. Patrick's Day is for dirt bags, dude. St. Patrick's Day is your favorite holiday. You're scummy. You got 14 betting apps on your phone. if St. Patrick stays your favorite all that. Green beer in the over. Green beer in the over.

Kiss me of Irish. I'll keep me. I don't care if you're Irish. It's annoying. This is the only time that a female is going to like listen to our podcast is that bit right there. Making fun of St. Patrick's guy. Everybody else, the normal clubhouse are like, man, I don't know.

I used to like them. Sometimes they do miss, though. We love a clubhouse. Everybody's got a little bit of St. Patrick's guy in them. Sure. Hey, man, I had like a two-year run where I was up there. I was like, man, this is fun of shit. You're a St. Paddy's boy.

I was like, smack your little St. Paddy's ass. I was like, do I get like a green jacket? Should I like, should do the green suit? Fake beard? Four-leaf clovers all over it? No, I might. I'm wearing the green necklaces. All day all fucked up.

Yeah. Green necklaces, for sure, 40 of them. Burkroll. We're cold beads Green beer St. Paddy's guy Yeah man Hey Thursday

Thursday Second show Grab your tickies Thursday Few left Get them in the description of the podcast Helium

Thursday night's gonna go down Indy can't wait to see you Joe You'll be there I'm making up for last year Clubhouse So I'll see you there It's gonna be hot yeah

yeah I was like for sure bring your donuts oh throw it all bring bring your donuts preferably maybe some donut holes you know maybe stop at lungs get the not the white box get the white bag

at least for me and just fucking donut hole bag oh if I saw a donut hole bag on the side of this year I'd be like yo can you stop you stop the car yeah Thursday holiday hose

with what do you call Express fam and clubhouse and everybody man. The kiss club. Got a lot of clubs will be there. All the clubs will be there. Everybody.

Maybe Ben's dad. Big shit show. Yeah, my dad, my dad texts me. He's like, so there's a second show? I was like, yep.

And he goes, I think I'd rather go to that one. Can I switch my tickets? I was like, dude, I'm not helium. Is there a way I can, you know, dads are always trying to like,

they don't want to like, you know. The only reason he wants to do it now is because the first one sold out. So he was like, yeah. Oh, for sure. And you know,

he kept, his like ticket receipt so he just wants to exchange you just wants to like yeah can I exchange my ticket for the late show just always has to be like yeah because you know what the eating his money back somehow you know what the 8 o'clock show is right now that's 11 o'clock mass whereas right now the 1030 30 that's like 10 30 7

1030 is the naughtiest show that's like midnight mass it's crazy sometimes like if I mean I'm sure you've done a late show before but you're like god damn is this actually happening right now are people allowed to be out this way it's crazy like anything goes type shit how many I just know and it gets me so excited I know there's so many in the

club houses all the heck all the clubs that are like they're coming to the show on Thursday and Friday's just the most fuck off they have work so they don't care at all their Christmas break is started they're gonna be like some people are hitting me up like oh my God 1030's too late

I'm like what are you doing the next day nothing even if you're going to work you're doing nothing right I have to get up for work what are you going to do at work shop online put together your make reservations at an Italian

restaurant for the night put together your put together your itinerary for the weekend and different color coats look up recipes for lasagna

we're just naming all the things that my wife was doing today but that is fire though lasagna recipes looking those up on the clock name a better feeling you know what I did today I fucking got my oil

changed oh crazy mood Come on, dude. Crazy move. Where? Where? Most Monday shit.

Monday, the week of Christmas shit you could ever do. You get it locked in or you just do a walk in or does you schedule it from the night? I fucking drive right up to Jiffy Lou. Ballsy. Just fucking risky move. Loping up the garage. They line you up. Then you're just propped sitting there, man.

Kids sleeping in the back. I'm sitting in like a jackass in my Christmas outfit. Don't care. Best 36 minutes of your life. Oh, dude. And then, yeah, I look over and Ryan's looking up recipes for this week. and we're hosting Christmas Eve. What are you going to do?

Perfect. Right. So it's just like, hey, we're being productive as hell, getting an oil change done. Also, we're being productive over here on this front. It was nice. Yeah, I love when you get to sit in the car on the oil change because you don't got other people bothering you or anything. You're sitting in the weird lobby with, you know, Judge Judy or like a rerun of, you know,

general hospital or something going on with, you know, Jalen Hertz staring. I know you would love that. Jalen hurts staring at you on the cover of like Men's Health magazine. and you're like, do I look at it? Do I not look at it? I don't know. Did you just get out of the shower? Jalen hurts always looks like he's just got out of the shower, dude.

Not even on some sexy shit. I'm just like, dude, do you always just wash? Kind of have that look. You know that look that you, that everybody has? Yeah. Hey, the look where you draw after your water in your eye. Mirror face, mirror face. Mirror face.

Wiping your hair off, right? Kind of rubbing down your and you're checking it out. Everybody's got a mirror face, dude. Hey, did that? Okay, no, mine. I thought I was short on coffee over here. I almost freaked out. Like I haven't had five already today.

Man, that's all I've had today. Christmas time I walk Christmas coffee boys. I don't even care. I'll drink five coffees and then just eat dinner at 11 p.m. I'm like, yeah. That's what it is. I had a homemade cheese cassidia with beans on it for lunch. Perfect.

After heaven. Burbid boy. Whoa. after having three mugs of coffee this morning. Hell yeah. Mugs. And then... And then...

Hits, hit the bucks. Had to get two, got a small chai, and then got the regular cough. Because I went into Starbucks. Well, the line was so long. I was like, all right, I'm going to go inside. Then I went inside and I got so comfy. I just sat there for like seven minutes. And I was like, oh, shit, I got to go.

Yeah. Because Starbucks during Christmas is just so perfect. Sounds right. Yeah. They're like, you have all your stuff, right? I was like, yeah. Oh, okay. All right, I'll leave.

Damn. Do you need a straw or anything? No, I got them. I'm just sitting here. We have limited seating, sir. Yeah, no. Yeah. People in Starbucks doing God knows what, bro.

Guy just soaking up the Wi-Fi. He looked like he was working, but he was like clicking so quick on his mouse. Like, I was like, this dude's playing a fucking shooting game or something. I look over on his computer. He's playing like World of Warcraft. I was like, Jesus, dude. How does it? You just see his screen?

I'm like, you're not embarrassed? Yeah, that you had to get that see. Even us, because it used to be us, minus the world of Warcraft. But like, we'd have to go, yeah,

go hide out, man. Fucking bunker down. I'm surprised Starbucks doesn't have like a soundproof room now that you can't like do a podcast in. That's next. Like, oh shit,

I got to do my podcast real quick. You're on the road. Stopping that Starbucks. Rip it. Hey, uh, we, to have your,

drinks on our show every week anyways and uh we're always late getting to the show because we're stopping there to get it so why don't we just combine here we two for one Starbucks podcast set up in the studio right there it's not bad definitely gonna take it now the candle definitely take it you can have it's gone you put it out there already gone the the Starbucks artificial intelligence is already like set up studio we should just regurgit studio it's all like kind of up though because it's AI. They have studio sizes but that match the coffee sizes. Yeah.

Do you want to rent out a Venti studio today? The Venti's available? Yeah, then you give them the, yeah, actually we'll do the Trinta and they're like, come back here. And it's like the secret huge one in the back. But it's only in like the north side. There's not like a Trinta studio like on the south side. They don't like have that capability.

And then if it's a tall, it's just like one of those little phone boosts that we used to have like an MS that you'd have to record like a studio update. It's like cold in there a little bit. Did you guys even clean this place up from the last guy? Just went the tall. There's like, there's candy wrappers and shit in there. Hosted the,

the Christmas party this past weekend. There you go. It's good, man. It's a big hit. Got wine all over my shoes. Yeah, I was going to say, well, what's the bad thing that happened?

I know it all went well. Honestly, nothing. You know what's wild is the difference between hosting a party when you're 23 and hosted when you're 30. you kind of have to actually do some work when you're 30. When you're 23, it's like, all right, you have to do all the work on the front end, but then there's little work on the back end.

Whereas like 23 is just like, yeah, we'll have it here. I don't know. We'll fucking like, yeah, just everybody bring booze and show up at this time. And you don't really set up anything else or whatever. And then all the work is on the back end because your house is completely trashed. Whereas on the front end, we got a deep cleaned. We were setting up decorations. We had all this shit out ready to go.

We had the furniture in the right way. We had a whole thing of catered in food. We had all dishes set up, all the stuff. But then I woke up the next day and I'm going downstairs and I'm like, it's almost like we didn't even have a party. Oh, that's the best part of the party. You know, at 30-year-old guys compared to a 23-year-old guy, like 23-year-old guy probably just like leave his plate there.

30-year-old guy puts it in the trash. Wow. 23-year-old chicks, they're trying to black out. They don't care. 30-year-old chicks, they're helping my pregnant wife. do the dishes at 11 o'clock. Chicks. Drunk Chicks.

Yeah, so it's all in the front end and you get older. It's all in the front end and then it happens and you wake up the next day and it's like, wow, everybody was like, everybody had fun, but everybody was respectable. This is good. Crazy. Throwing away a plate during a party. Crazy. Crazy move.

Worked out. I've thought about your deep clean like 19 times since you talked about it. Yeah. Is it holding up? Is it sticking? Yeah, it's good, man. I mean, it was like, I don't know. I think you set yourself up for expectations kind of when you hear that because you're thinking like, holy cow, I'm just going to come back to a completely new house.

It's like retiled. Right. It wasn't like that. And it was just like, it was just very tidy. And they like, they put things back. You know what I mean? Like even up in like a bedroom or wherever like they picked up different things like just like pretty much nothing on the floor. Which is great.

They even left little like Easter eggs. No. They put like Frank's toys like in his. some of his stuffed animals like in his crib like in the corner like sitting up propping like hand up like waving to him and shit like that yeah I was like all right I like this

this is good what of what about like you ever like misplay something you just think about them you're like they took it no no I always whatever we had all our Christmas presents out they're underneath the tree all of them right now

when the cleaners game dude I got to see that Which, by the way. So you had presents out during the party. Yeah. Good thing your dumbass wasn't there. Right. I would have taken them all.

What would you have picked up and ran off with? You know, I would have stolen just like the perfect little box. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't help yourself. Got to. Got to. Got to steal something at a party. Kid me?

I don't care what it is. Your spatula? See ya. Just like the most random. You go, shut up. One of your forks, bye. Just for old times' sake, you know, I'll give me back to you next Thursday. Just like the net, you still have it.

You just like the net, you still got it. You can slide out with something. That's it. Still a little something. Still a little candle. Shit, man. I know we've talked about this before, but it's been a popular topic of conversation amongst my friends and people in my life.

And so what? What kind of, like, would your folks, or your dad, like, were you waking up to all the presents on Christmas Day? Were they out beforehand? You know what I mean? Were they out on December 18th? We had like the shitty ones were out like now. Like from, from Benny to mom, you know, like one of my dumb ass presents that's stupid. Some ceramic thing that you made in art class. Bad rapping. Like just, yeah, just exactly, dude. One of those, you know, like you'd go to like the, like the Christmas shop at your school. Uh-huh.

Like, it's the same part of it. Fakeest shit ever. Yeah, just all those weak-ass toys and shit. Get this for your mom. Like, just stupid shit. Like, drunkest, fatest unemployed Santa ever. Just, what are we doing? Crappiest toys.

Like, you couldn't even, like, I'd see that stuff at Goodwell and be like, no. Yeah. Like, ugh. Put it in the fucking atrium of your school? Oh my God. I got to have this. Yeah, I got, like, how much you want. Take my money.

but yeah all those crappy presents under the tree then when Christmas comes around dude I don't know I don't know what was going on the coordination of Christmas was the it was just it was the best communication my parents have ever had in their lives yeah so I don't know why but there was like there was like a 15 minute window

where me and me and my sisters would check downstairs every like 20 minutes maybe even like 10 minutes like that excited so did you have somebody like on rotation like it was like hey Ben to your shift go take a watch shift we'd kind of both go everybody would like it was like it was like a like a movie kind of Tony would be dead asleep in a room couldn't you doesn't give a doesn't even know what day it is and we'd be like uh forget her we're not even gonna like you talk to her about this because she's like she'll like you know like whatever she'll ruin it for us so me and my sister would just like look down the stairs like forever like

kind of crawl down the stairs type shit look through the room nothing yet nothing yet then I swear to God, we go away for like seven minutes, look back, everything would be down there. What the fuck? Crazy. Just mountains of presents. And when they were all wrapped? Oh, yeah. Okay.

That's been another point of contention. Super, everything rat. Like, what? Like, oh my God. Where did this come from? That's why I believed in Santa so hard. Because I was like, no way they just, how did this get here? Yeah.

Now, yeah. So. A bike against the wall? Unwrapped. Right. So you had some of the bigger stuff that was unwrapped. Well, I mean, how you wrap a bike? There might have been like some wrapping paper around those two bars,

but the rest was unwrapped. Yeah. No, okay. Because that's, I have some people in my life that they grew up, like there wouldn't be a present under the tree until Christmas morning. Like overnight on Christmas Eve, that's when all the shit would happen. Yeah. It was like 25% for us was before Christmas.

Like, that is how? Just doesn't look right. Well, one, but then two, I mean, you know, a lot of people are getting drunk as shit on Christmas Eve and everything. You know, so then you're taking all that on after six glasses of wine. What, wrapping the presents? Putting them all down there and shit. That's got to be like, that's a pretty solid night for a mom, though. Like, kind of sounds good.

Getting wine drunk and wrapping presents. Yep. That's like Mom 101. And then I don't know. I feel like I'm the only person who did that. this, you grew up this way. And it made so much sense to me. It still does. The Santa gift wouldn't be, like the big Santa gift wouldn't be wrapped. Yeah. Now I think about it. It makes sense. Santa, I mean, because it's like, hey, this is your big one from Santa. He's not doing that.

He's got fucking houses to hit. He brought in the jolly bag. He pulled it out. He dropped it right there. Soccer ball. Right. Mark Pryor, Jersey. Come on. Right? That was, dude, you got sick presents, bro. You got sick presents.

No, but I was watching, I was watching home videos actually last week. And I was down to my parents and I was watching old home videos

with my sister. And it was like this one Christmas. You ever had one of those Christmases where you grew up where like it was just, you could tell that you were just like really disappointed.

No. Oh, wait, how old were you? I was eight. You were disappointed? Yeah. Bro,

that has to be the worst feeling as a parent. Oh, no. So like, but I feel my parents shit was good. Like I, I remember I was watching because it's like in shifts. So we had like the morning, right, where you're, it's at home and it's, and it's Santa and it's the parent gifts and everything like that. And then like there's other stuff from your grandparents around the day and everything. And so for me, like in the morning, I was getting some good Star Wars shit for my parents.

And all of a sudden I opened up one at Brian Erlacker jersey. You mother. Christmas 2001 got a Brian Erlacker jersey. Had it on the rest of the day. Shut up. up with a Santa hat. Oh, you're probably being so, like, hyper all day. But then, but then, like, I go to my grandparents and, like, I'm watching myself.

And I can just tell from my body language, I'm like, yeah, I was, like, really disappointed. Like, my, my grandparents, like, I don't even know. It's like, you know, when you get from, like, other relatives that aren't your parents who, like, they know you, but they don't really know. They're kind of just like, oh, I'm sure he's eight. I'm sure he would like that. And then you open it up, you're like, what the fuck is this off brand Lego shit? Yeah, come on.

Yeah, and especially on Christmas. Give me the brand names. Like, and, you know, I'm eight. Of course, I'm going to be like, you know, I wasn't like throwing a fit, but I could just tell a little me, I was like, I was off. I was not really feeling it. And then I go to my other grandparents, the same goddamn Christmas. My first three presents I give from them.

One's a sweater. The next two are school pants. Oh, school pants. Cacky school pants. That's a slap in the face. And you could, I was to a kid. I was fuming. To a kid.

I was fuming. You could tell. And I was like, for a while there, I was like, come on man, don't be an asshole. But then after the second school pants, I was like, what is this? You guys didn't check in with the parents? Is this Christmas?

Or is it like, it was just a job interview? School pants. Low key need them bad. Right. I absolutely did. You know, growing kid. Like, I'm sure my parents

didn't want to fucking have to buy that. So my mom, she did one of those. It's just like, well, he wants this, but like he can really use school pants. No. For Christmas?

My grandmother's the kind that's just like, well, I'm going to get them something they need more than something they want. So, you know, it's one of those. And but it's like, damn, man. Yeah, that sucks. So then I was telling Rye about it. And Rye is one of those gift givers that, you know, God love her.

She's one that likes that. Here we go. Let's hear it. Spill it. She's one that, you know how like people just like, they get you what you ask for because they're like, yeah, you ask for it. I know you're going to like it. And there's also people who they like to, like, they like to give gifts as like a challenge.

They like to, hey, this is a gift for me to you that I think you'd really like or that I think you could really appreciate. They can all go to hell. Bro, if you're doing that, dog. So, you don't understand the situation. Ry's, she's very much into that. She loves to do that. And so after I was telling her about the school pants incident, she was like, well, I mean,

so for like Christmas this year, like, I did, like, I, I, I, we had kind of talked about some of stuff. So I think you'll like it, but I just, and I could tell that I kind of scare, but I'm like, listen, I'm 30. I, it's okay. Like, I'm not, you know, I'm just, I truly am. I'm just grateful for whatever you get me, unless it's fucking khaki pants and then we're done. Oh, the way, I, the way I'd go and buy you khaki pants after that. Just a stack of 30 of them. Old Navy, old Navy, old Navy, old Navy, old Navy, colds, colds, colds, colds, old Navy, Gap, gap, gap, gap. But you know what?

American Eagle, American Eagle. Nowadays, absolutely. I'd be like, wow, yeah. Like, I'm totally outfitted for next year. I'm good to go. This is really, I have been wanting to stop wearing joggers all the time. This is good. You know, I would have done that shit.

Yeah. So what is she going to get you? I don't know. I know one thing, actually. But to tear it. I don't want to give it away. Yeah. But I had to check the temp there.

seen it. I thought I was going to get an Alex Highsmith jersey. Guys' presents don't change, bro. Girls shit, always. Always way different. Like, dude, this year, my sister was like, what do you want? I sent her a Charles Woodson jersey. Yes. Like the printed on one. Michigan?

No, no, Raiders from like 2003. I was like, dude, that just goes hard. White? Black. I couldn't find white. The white with the black numbers. I just... I know.

It goes crazy. Just screams playoff football. She goes, all right. If I can't find that, what else do you want? And I got Cincinnati basketball shorts. Dude, this is the same shit. I wanted in high school. No, no, no.

Girls Christmas list at 11. I'll have a... Oh, my God. That was crazy. Sorry. Girls Christmas list at 11. I'll have a Raggedy Ann doll, an American Girl doll.

11. And a... Lisa Frank, Trapperkeeper. in gel pens in a like a Maya CD. Okay. Girls Christmas list at 30. Can I get a Tyson vacuum cleaner? Yes.

Air fryer. And an air fryer. Guys Christmas list at 11. Can I get a Kenyon Martin, Cincinnati, Jersey? Guys Christmas at 30. Can I get a Kenyon Martin, Cincinnati jersey? You didn't get it for me when I was 11.

Yeah. I'm still thinking about it. Every day I wake up. Fuck. Cincinnati one, too. That would go insane. And so I, no, but I was like,

Like, you know, obviously the Steelers got their fucking ass kicked this past weekend at home at Indy and I was there. Let's get a minute. Can we get a minute? And so, well, come on. I'm thinking that I'm going to, like, I asked for both my parents and my, and my wife. I put an Alex Highsmith jersey on my Christmas list. And I was like, oh, maybe one of them did. You know, I can kind of pull the, can I get it early so I can wear it to the game?

Right? Yeah, because that's what I was wanting to do, right? And Riley was like, no, I did. didn't, but I told your mom to him. I think she probably did. That would be, that would be nice. I'm against giving gifts early, though. I am too, and I usually don't ask for what I'm like. That is like a deal breaker though. We're seeing him after the game. His parents were sitting with my parents. I'm like, come on. And so then I text to my mom was like, do you guys give me a high Smith jersey by chance? She just goes, nope, sorry. I was like,

oh, Merry Christmas. Never mind. Two L's in one day. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. But it's all good. I mean, again, this is the beauty of once you get older. Like, you know, luckily you have enough, you know, I could. If I want to go buy an Alex Highsmith jersey right now, I could. Are you going to get it in time? No, no.

I hate, I hate Christmas shipping. We haven't figured that out yet. Yeah. I mean, if you order today, you'll get it by Christmas. It's like December 3rd. I'm like, dude. I don't know what the fuck I want yet. And I need to wrap that shit.

I'm not wrapping it on Christmas Eve. Oh, man. Oh. Burpee boy Christmas song About burpee boy Dude how good is a Tommy DeVito How good is Tommy DeVito

How good is Tommy DeVito's jersey gonna be In like six years With the sleeves cut off at a tailgate Fucky Central right there Tommy DeVito Giants the old one Throwback

That's exactly what I was thinking The blue one Yeah that There's kind of nothing Better than those Giants jerseys right now In that quarterback bro I'm kind of I'm like, Giants hat for Christmas, question mark.

After that Monday night game last week against the Packers, I like woke up and asked her I was like, can I get Frank and Tommy DeVito jersey? She was like, she never said no quicker. You know, she's like, why don't you do it?

She said, she was like, you're such a bitch for a moment in pop culture. That's too real. That's too real. I mean, yeah, I am.

But like, well, that's what our whole thing is. Come on. Let's go. That's the bit. Exactly. Like,

be great for Frank. I'm taking care. I'm looking after 14-year-old Frank, so he can wear a Tommy DeVito jersey to, you know, his middle school dance. People are like, what? And he's just like, yeah, dude, Tommy DeVito passing Pizano. Come on. Yeah, just think of the picture, you know. She doesn't get it, you know, so anyways.

She doesn't get it. We're both walking memes. She doesn't get it. Me and my dad, we were all in, you know, I asked Frank. He nodded his head. He's ready to go. Yeah, I think you got to sneak. one in the stocking.

Maybe. Won't get here in time, though. I'm so pissed, dude. I'm so pissed. Dude, right now, it says, I don't know what the date is, but it seems, it's,

it's given 23rd right now. Really? Yeah. I don't think so. I keep thinking about it. I'm like, Chris is like tomorrow. Oh,

no, it's not. No, we got a week. We got a week from we're recording right here. We're in it, dude. We're in the game. We used to get, like, school stuff and stocking stuffers?

Or was it just socks? No, dude, kind of the stockings were not a part of my Christmas. That's wild. That's always like kind of my favorite part. I always, like, we totally forgot about them. Because like we were so overwhelmed by like the presents by the tree. We just forgot about the stockings. Then like noon would roll around.

My mom would be like, did you check the stockings? Would it be like, oh my God? See, and that the best part? I know, but like we knew it wasn't going to be anything cool in there. It was just like some dumb. Oh my God! like a little, it's like that, the stocking for our Christmas was like the mint you get at Olive Garden after the meal. You're like, hey, it's all right. It's still cool. Yeah, I want it for some reason,

but it's not going to like satisfy me. Like I got like a Charlie Brown toothbrush in my stocking. I was like, you know, maybe I'd get like a, there's nothing cool in there. Maybe a couple of gel pens. That's cool. That's cool. That's good. But they weren't the good ones, you know. You got off-brand gel. No, just like not the lit gel pens. They'd always. be like the Rose Art joints. I'd be like Mom. Rose art? I thought those were the lit ones. Nah, the lit ones were like a little too expensive for what

they were. They're like sparkly. They're like, you know, they're just, you know, when you see lit shit, you know. Yeah. You're like, oh, those are the ones. But we're going to go here. At least Roseart's a name brand. Rose art sucks. Rosart, if you're listening, if you're still a business, you suck. the pens, the crayons, everything about it.

They were the, okay. Yeah, now I'm a... Crayola. Crayola. Crayola. Rose Art. Rozart. Yeah. Yeah.

Come on, Rosart. You know what you're doing. That's a good point. That's a good point. Now I kind of feel bad. I'm just waiting for that text from my mom any second now. Need stocking stocking stuff for ideas. Gift cards.

Socking stocking. They can never find the candy that I want. Really? I was just like, yeah, give me, you know, airheads. All mystery. Ooh, see, that's what I'm talking about right there. There was this whole idea, like two years ago, I asked for the Jolly Rancher, like, sour gummies.

Kind of hard to find. It's not mainstream enough. Yeah, I mean, you can't go into Speedway, maybe, and fucking find it. Try a CVS, right? I don't think parents know, like, the candy divisions. Yeah. So it was this whole thing that'd go through, Maddie and Greg.

I'm pretty sure they had to call in Rye for reinforcements. I was like, just give me Skittles at that point. Crazy. Yeah, if you can't find Skittles, come on. It was a sad day when I couldn't get Zowers in mine anymore. Yeah, that's been. I had a Zowers run and then they discontinued or whatever. I was like, fuck, man.

That was my shit. Zowers, yeah. Every year. One of those little cardboard boxes in there, I hear rattling around. Like the movie theater style. Dump it out. Oh, yeah. They only kind of come in that style.

They only did. They only did. Yeah. Then you can't find them anymore. Green box. switched, yep, they just switched to like Mike and Ike's sour. Like, I'm like, okay, it's the same thing. All right. I've always had like, there's, there's always been something there for Mike and Ike's, you know? They always, I always see them and I'm like, oh, yeah. They make, on, on,

on paper, they seems to be so great, but, I mean, the sour ones are okay. They're just not zowers. Right. Oh, now I do remember the, the tweet when they discontinued zowers. I was like, damn. Yeah. Very sad. Very, very, very, very sad. time. Everybody knows where they were. When they did. Because then they had Zowers with the blue box, too, the tropical. I was like, you guys are insane for that. Or maybe that's

just Mikey Nikes. Am I tripping? It's just Mike and Ix. It's just Mike and Ikes. But again, they went from instead of Zer to Mike and Ike-s showers that were tropical. I don't know. What about when you go to a concession stand? You're not expecting much. And you're like, I'll just get

Skittles. And then they have the purple and blue Skittles too. You're like, the amount of time that I've spent debating over whether or not to get which pack of Skittles has probably added up to at least five months in my life.

Yeah, I get it. I believe it. Just like standing there and literally being like, well, if you're going between purple and blue, you've got to go purple. Purple's better, but like something about the red, just classic.

OG. But like purple's better, but like red and purple and the red, bag is just, I mean, I literally, I mean, you don't want to regret it. You could literally buy both, but you're like, it's too much. Too many skittles. I'm not, right. I mean, by the time I'm halfway through the bag, I'm like, Jesus Christ, and you stop.

Oh, I can go in on skittles, bro. Me too. I literally have to force them away from myself because they'll be gone. They will be gone. That was a sad moment in my life when they were like talking about how they're going to discontinue skittles. Shut up. Shut up. How unhealthy they are for you.

It's like, what is this? This is America. smoke sigs. Skittles. They're kind of, they're kind of overlooked a little bit. If you really think about it in the big candy picture. I hope that, I hope that I have some in my, in my stocking. Charles Woodson jersey, huh? Yeah. That's hilarious. Cincinnati shorts. Pocket's in the Cincinnati shorts. Yeah, the new ones. Cincinnati went back to like their Jordan uniforms like from a long time ago with the blocks. They just went all the way and I'm like, I got to buy those. Yeah. And also,

the Houston Rockets City uniforms this year. There's like a, there's like an astronaut on their shorts. It's so dope. Pockets in those. Oh, pockets all the way. See, because these, these Santa pants I got, they got no pockets.

What do you do? So how to do the old shorts. The shorts underneath. Wow, that's a high school move. High school, big time. But with it being cold out, I lucked out because I just put all my shit in my jacket pockets.

Nice. I'm good to go. So that saved me. But I'm like, gotta have zippers. I can't be fucking, I can't be, fucking I can't be, wearing these like I want to wear them

I'd wear these every day until Christmas they're per they are Christmas those are nice watch on YouTube these guys uh on YouTube so you can see but like they're comfy one stripe one stripe one striper they're red you can run the ball come on they go perfect with my Jordans like but they got no I got no fucking pockets

what are we supposed to do with this and I don't trust jacket pockets right I'm like I got to have zippers on those everything's falling out 100% bro I draw okay this is annoying but I was getting a haircut after I worked out today so I had to shower at the gym then go right to the barber because I didn't want to be sweaty guy

walking to the barber so I had to shower there I didn't bring a lock for a locker I got a bunch of shit with me so I'm like I put my towel on the hook outside of the shower and I like balance my phone on the hook like car keys wallets like jammed in there

like it's just the stupidest operation while I'm taking a shower making sure nobody steals my wallet every 10 seconds my head and then I go to dry off, get my towel, yank it off, the wallet falls on the ground, all the credit cards. All the gift cards. ID money.

Dude, across the wet shower floor, bro. Just naked as shit. So naked. I was just like, I don't care anymore. And I just took my towel off, butt-ass naked and picked them all up. Oh, your fuck-ass tails. Get the hell out of here. God dang.

but yeah what else is on your list Christmas list I'm always intrigued by what you ask for I know there's a pair of shoes on there no there's not you can never find good shoes on Christmas like it's always like

what's the point like Jordan releases like it's like Christmas drop you gotta like sign up from 10 years before to even have a chance so no shoes unless I get lucky or something I think I need

I need an air fryer I need a new air friar every three months. I don't know what I'm doing. You putting in there. Just normal shit, bro, but it just like burns. Put it in there too long. I mean,

the timer, they're controlling the time, aren't they? It's like 20 minutes. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, but you do like,

do you intermittently check on it? You just let that shit run. Well, there you go. Really? Yeah. I don't check on shit. You just let it run?

Yeah, they're perfect every time. Obviously not. Flip them. You're fucking rolling through air friars. The food's perfect. The air fire is not perfect. Are you getting off-branded air fryer?

No, it's the good one. It's the ninja? It's not even the ninja. I don't know. Like, some air frown, okay, this is the air fryer I have. That's like, it's like doubles as like a toaster oven too, I guess. It looks like that. So it's top of the line, dude.

The thing's like $130. I'm like, yeah, all right. So you got an air fryer on there, huh? Huh? So Charles Watson, Cincinnati. Yeah, yeah. It's air fryer. Right.

Okay. That's kind of it. I don't really, I didn't really think about it too much. much. Yeah. Well, that's the thing, Ryan, when she was explaining, kind of trying to explain everything. I was like, I, you know, you and my mom asked for these and like the day after Halloween, I, who fucking knows what I put on that? Thank you. What do you want for Christmas? I'm like, I don't fucking know, bro, like face washing shit? Just pick up anything. Let me see. Let me see. I might have my list on here. Compared, contrast. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I might too.

I'm like just a podcast with both of us on our phones my list is so dumb dude I hate it already just search for Christmas it's gonna be so bad it's gonna be shit from like 2013 new iPhone Houston Rockets shorts Sincy Bearcat shorts yep Hey holds up

golf balls shut up Don't hey stocking stuffer Stalking Stuffer Nike white high socks Perfect Alex Highsmith's jersey Whoops, no we're not getting that Apparently

All right, let's check the email I got couch on mine Ear slash nose cleaning Yeah, I've been asking for that For a long time Dude, you've been asking for a couch Since I fucking knew you I don't even care anymore

I just sit on the fucking floor Third grade Third grade me Yeah, I really want a couch What's up? My name's Benedict Team these guys at jmail.com From Caleb

What's up boys? This past weekend I couldn't unsee the slightly lower numbers on the new NFL Nike jersees. Yes! Also, have you noticed how they mess up the sleeve stripes for some teams? I'm a Panthers fan, and all the jerseys used to have stripes that connected under the armpit. But since Nike took over, half the jerseys have stripes that don't connect and it looks terrible. Anyways, my question is F. Mary Kill, NFL Street 2, Backyard Baseball 2001, SSX Tricky. Love you, boys.

Shut up, man. Just simply lick your hand and smack my ass. That also does a job, Caleb. Cool. Thanks, dude. I love you. Mary F. Kill, NFL Street 2, Backyard Baseball, 2001. SSX. Tricky. Ooh, I'm going to marry NFL Street 2. I'm going to bang SSX tricky because you can't really play it forever after you beat it. And then just more of a one-night stand.

And then kill backyard baseball because I never played it. See, I grew up on that shit. Pablo Sanchez, fucking Keisha Phillips. I'm going to marry backyard baseball. I'm going to F NFL Street too and kill SSX Tricky. No. Yeah, sorry.

Do I notice the jersey stripes? Caleb, that's all that I think about. Every single day. That's why he can't watch football. Every single moment. But they did change the Panthers stripes. From Jonathan. subject fiancee had me wheezing

hey Ben and Joey all the Catholic stool God damn Catholic stool All the Catholic school stuff lately has been killing me Can confirm in Canada it was the exact same Gym with the stage too close to the court Overhang remember it all I'm wondering if you guys had assemblies in the gym

or any in class lessons on the tail of the three trees My fiancee is not Catholic and went to public school So I was explaining the three trees and how the third tree that wanted to remain on the hill becomes Jesus's cross, which of course is the most important thing and is now everywhere and seen the most. To which she replied, oh, that's sick. So that tree got to be on all the merch.

Boys, I'm not sure I've ever laughed harder in my life. Just to refer to the crucifix as merch had me wheeze. Sick. Sex. Jesus has merch. And drip advent candle wax on my back until it looks like a grimace themed Christmas tree. Wow, dude.

Wax on the back. That's dirty. Yeah, we That's all our assemblies were Was in the fucking gym So many chairs on the floor There's at some point where there'd be like Maybe day of if like the senior class

Was really fucking around or something I remember they'd call like impromptu assemblies And people just have to sit on the floor Yeah, they didn't give a shit Just like hardwood floor Just fucking sitting there All right, you gotta do what you gotta do Some more setup crew

Some makeshift podium up there You're like everything was so just like like somebody's dad went in there and did it, you know? At least this will kill like 18 minutes of class time. Dude, remember we hung the screen in the corner? The, like the, the jumbotron of our Roncali auditorium. They just like hung it down. It was kind of lit, like during a mass. Oh, yeah. It was like covering the scoreboard on like the north end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hit you with North End. Like, I really know what I'm talking about, but I don't. I think it was a North End. Yeah. You're right. But I was like,

Yo, why isn't that thing up during games, yo? All I remember from those assemblies in the gym was just fucking... Just that constant ringing from the lights? Private school lights. Nothing louder than private school lights. Hey, hit the lights. What? I'm like the buzzers going off.

It's the end of the game. They're like, no, those are just our lights. Like you You'd be practicing basketball in the gym And your coach would literally have to have a fucking megaphone To talk to you over the lights I can't hear you The lights are too loud

Can you turn the lights down? No no no no not the brightness The fucking noise they're making You're fucking putting everybody out of electricity In a three mile radius Because we're turning on the lights Every time you play in a Catholic school gym Just shot up immediately

Oh I thought that was a buzzer no grip on any of the floors and the loudest lights you've ever fucking been around Wow Catholic school gyms Slip disc Everybody's back fucked

They're like talking about sex And shit like promise to keep What about the buzzer on our scoreboard too It always randomly The person running it always would fuck it up And would go off There's different levels to buzzers. It's like a horn.

And then it's like, oh, you didn't have enough money to afford a scoreboard buzzer. It's like, ah! Sounds like an old guy clearing his throat. That's the end of the first quarter. It's hell of us. It's fucking cry. They just recorded Father Tom hacking up a luge and they just played that as the buzzer. Is that Father Tom?

Substitutions. So, fucking, everything was so dung. Oh my God, the most dust. You remember if you fucking slid across the floor, you look at your arm that you slid on, and it would just be almost black. Your P.E. shirt. Oh, my God.

Let's get this shit rolling, man. From Kevin, Mike Rable's small eye. He just says, dude needs to stretch that shit. I haven't noticed that. Everybody's got one. Well, small. If you look long enough.

Is that the original? Is that the WTFI? Remember WTF? That's all I remember. we like saved a file of like the first video we ever did on my laptop and yeah i like didn't it was like the third try it wasn't your laptop is my sister matties she let us borrow her laptop but we just have that was her worst decision w tf i took over all the storage on that thing dude two two two videos exported i was like what do we call this one you're i don't know your eyes all fucked up called

w tfi just on your desk on her desktop hey that's a radio station we work for WTFI WTFI WTFI J-JO in the morning from on WTFI

MIRP Phr Phr Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha When you First caller to When you First caller to say you heard

The Catholic Jim Light Wins a fucking Italian Dinner at IOTS with Father Tom All right Uh

And Coach PL be they're in the corner. From Matthew, league conference realignment. Hey guys, love the show. I've enjoyed following you both from Kentucky. My question is,

are there any American league teams that you believe should be a national league team or vice versa? That's way out of Ben's. It's right. It's all right. I can't explain it, but the Seattle Mariners are just begging

to be in the national league. Oh, I get it. Okay. Yeah, like, I still, it's still weird for me that the Astros are in the American League because I grew up with them playing

in the division with the Cubs. so I hear you. Same question applies to the NFC AFC. Here we go. Obviously the Jaguars belong in the NFC. I don't know about that. Slap my ass with the Tom Bahali Chiefs Yellow alternate jersey

that is never worn by the team but is sold at Walmart. The Chiefs are begging to do that, dude. They just can't. They don't have the guts. They've really never worn that? Nope. They would get some mad heat for it.

It's like when Michigan wore Mays jerseys. You're like, do I like it? Yeah. It's just not it. I know what you're trying to do, but... And like the helmet, it's just not going to work for them. But like everybody kind of deep down wants it. Yeah, I think that...

Now that he's on to that, I think that the Giants and the Jets should flip. Dude, giants are so NFC. Really? Yeah. Just like, they're just like dark defense. They just, you know... Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Some of Jets are like a little more... AFC just gives a different vibe. Well, it's just, it's so ingrained to me. Like, AFC's CBS, NFC's Fox. And it's really hard to cross those lines. There is a couple teams in the NFL that should probably.

Seahawks used to be AFC. Yeah. Dude, they're so NFC now. Oh, so NFC. They knew what they're doing. Yeah. Is there an NFC team that should be AFC? I see, I really can't.

Like, I don't even, every, like, I just think everybody's in the right spot. Like, I was going to say, like, maybe the Panthers is I've been like, no, they're NFC. They are. Oh, yeah, Jaguars should definitely, they're so AFC. Yeah, man, I don't know. I think they kind of just have it. Like I said.

There's got to be one that we can agree on. This is the best game of my life, by the way. They ingrained it in me. They ingrained it in me from the start, man. It's like, I still, it fucks me up when I watch an NFC matchup that is broadcast on CBS. I don't get why they do that. I don't get why they do that.

Like, there has to be, if that's the case, it needs to be like the Steelers playing at the Cardinals. Put it on CBS then. all right but that game is always on Fox no because it's usually

the visitor for whatever reason like the visiting team that aligns it with the TV broadcast I don't know like whenever 49ers play at the Steelers

it's always on Fox yep it is it was crazy though like our teams would be a FC teams like Steelers Colts and they'd be playing an NFC team

and it'd say Fox next to it'd be like oh they're playing on Fox crazy crazy like when the Packers played at the Colts and it was a

And it was the Fox game. Packers. Such a low-key Packers podcast. Everybody knows. Everybody knows. The Patriots could low-key be NFC. That's crazy to say it. But they're so like weather and like defense and fundamental and shit.

I could get down with that. I could get down with that. But the NBA, the NBA is there everywhere. Yeah. Who even knows? I know that it's true. Nobody really knows them in the NBA.

Timberwolves should be in the West. It seems like. They are in the West? Wow, I'm an idiot. But the Bucks are in the East. Kind of weird. It's like we're splitting right down there. We can go either way.

Real quick, this is from Jacob. Mike Bibby to pay just to Ayakovich for the corner three. Best regards. Jacob from Iowa. We're team Jason Williams around here, but I appreciate your nostalgia. From Andrew. Merry Christmas. You filthy animals.

Dudes on the show. A couple weeks back you were talking about terrible basketball courts. Think mine is hard. to beat. I went to Lutheran grade school, which is like a Catholic school, but with less guilt. We did play a Catholic school, St. Peter and Paul. They had a 100-year-old brick and wood building and the basketball court was up on the third floor. You had to take a rickety old staircase to get to the gym, and when you got there, you had to change behind the stage. This court had lots of random lines, including a four square box, but the center court circle was about two inches from

the top of the key. Not only that, there were giant cages covering the windows, a 100-year-old building with cages in the windows of the third floor mini court, definitely thought they were going to die trapped in and fiery inferno. Anyway, keep up with the funny business and smack my ass with bows of holly until I break out in hives like Ben after all you can eat buffet of shrimp gone bad, all while watching in Domkin's Sue and Jake Keller kiss under the mistletoe at Joey's Christmas party. Merry Rakeem Christmas. Oh, that I've never heard that.

Hey, that's a, that would be, that might be number one. That was good. Jersey. Rakeem Christmas. Look up, who do you play for? Pacers. Isn't there a Oh,

Syracuse Christmas, Jersey. From David, subject, Rex Burkhead. Best fucky autograph. Isaiah Beefstew,

Stewart, the Pistons kid who tried to fight LeBron, signed my Allen Iverson question mids. Also down bad highlights, 2010's Nebraska

with quarterback Taylor Martinez and Rex Burkhead. Oh, man, Taylor Martinez highlights are insane to watch. You're like,

this happened? What? ass and donk my head off Eddie Lacey's ass butt fumble style. Down bad highlights. Hey, down bad highlights to watch. Stroh Mile Swift. Stroh mile swift?

You don't remember him? Grizzlies. There's a lot going on. I watched some Sean camp highlights before bed, dude. I couldn't sleep for two hours. Wow. I was just like, there's no way that's real. Still, most down bad highlight ever.

Luis Scull, a perfect game. Keep going back to it. The hair net. Literally made every field goal attempt in every free throw. Didn't miss a shot. How many points did you have? I think like 40 something.

No one knows. I think you went like 12 for 12 from the field and like eight for eight from the free throw line or something. Perfect game. Luis Scull, a perfect game. Fucking throw it on.

You're at your holiday or your Christmas party, whatever. It is one of those like, no, dude. Then you start watching and you're like, no fucking way.

I told you, the guy that put it on. I told you. Hey, keep watching. Wait to the, I told you. Every shot. Told you.

Yeah, turn. Hey, hey. Hey, what? Hey. Before every shot, hey. Just like they're, even when they're paying attention, you're still like, hey. You watching this? You've seen this?

All their girlfriends. So mad. Having the best time of your life. That's what it's all about. All right. Cool. Well, Merry Christmas. Thursday, Thursday.

in Indianapolis. Thursday. Me, Joey, Luis Scola, we'll all be there. Helium, Indy. Yeah,

it's going to be just a fucking holly jolly-ass time. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. So, yeah, Merry Christmas

to the clubhouse. I don't know. Are we taking next week off? And it's starting in 24. Or we could do the day after Christmas.

Oh, wait. Oh. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. No guarantee. No guarantee for next week.

But if not, Merry Christmas. We never have another podcast. Happy New Year. We've been strong. We appreciate you guys. Be sure to subscribe on YouTube. These guys on these guys on YouTube. These guys.

These guys. These guys. You just look that up. Team these guys at gmail.com. Yeah. And then see you Thursday. Hopefully. These guys.

Bye. See Thursday. Merry Christmas. Get your tickets. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Julian Edelman.