THESE GUYS! - If 4th of July was a Fball Player

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

this week the burpy boys talk about the time your mom was being way too nice to your weird friend💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS (on CW APP)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Philly - July 25 https://philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254519 Raleigh - Aug 22 https://www.goodnightscomedy.com/shows/254522 Buffalo - Sept 19 https://buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254521 Austin - Oct 10 https://www.capcitycomedy.com/shows/254523 San Diego - Nov 7 https://www.micdropcomedy.com/shows/264571 Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?

No, not even, dude. It has to be someone. It has to be like Brian Cushing or something. Oh, he is the Fourth of July. If the Fourth of July was a football player, Brian Cushing. TG90, TJ, W. I was going to say Chad Bratsky, but. Not a sports podcast, so it doesn't matter.

Hey, linebackers in their 90s, scariest thing ever? Yep. there with running backs in the 40s. Linebackers that are 90s like guys that used to be the linemen then just got super fast all of a sudden. I'm good on that. No thanks. No thanks.

Do not be afraid I am with you. Now it's going to be stuck in my head. Weird. What were some of those that you were kind of crying to at Wednesday mess? That one Eagles wings, big funeral.

one. Eagle's wings kind of played for me. It was that one we were just singing that kind of got me a little bit. Yeah. What was the one you were singing when you got on? I cannot remember. Because there's like eight that are the same, you know? Yeah, that's why it took me a while to get it because I was like, I think that's the cousin

of the one that been singing. Yeah. My favorite of all time, though. I say yes, my lord. I say yes, my lord. Eagle Oh, see, signor. Not a church podcast, not a church podcast.

Not a religious podcast. Right, right, right. A lot of clubhouse in Portland, bro. A lot of clubhouse. And they're coming out in the jerseys. I saw Vince Young Titans before the show. What color? What color?

Navy blue with the light blue shoulders. Best Titans jersey, by the way, obviously. Wow. A, Oregon Joey Harrington. I was like, kiss or not. Kiss or not. Me right now.

He was sitting with his girl. I was like, what if I just gave him a big old smooch? I don't think anyone would care. I always love that about our shows. Like that's happened to me before. Like in Minneapolis, a dude showed up with his girl and she was looking like what you would expect.

A young, a young girl to look, a young woman to look like going out for a night on town. Right. And then he's just saying. in a black Dionne Sanders Florida State jersey type shit

you know that she's just like are you seriously wearing that he's like yes just you don't get it yes babe I'm part of the clubhouse you wouldn't understand this is so fucking stupid I can't believe we're going to this for sure a guy had eye black in his hands

put it on the counter damn it all right at least I'm going to at least I'm going to wear the jersey, like, couldn't do it all. Hey, I'm waiting for one person at one of our shows. Hey, these guys fall to our eye black. Hey, we want Cleveland Brown socks on the sleeves. Hey, maybe Corey McGettie Bicep bands.

Whoa, what a poll there. Hey, what a name. Yeah. I think we'll name them Corey McGettie. And I'll have huge biceps and play for. for Duke. Man, so see the shining sea there

out in Portland. That's good. It looked awesome. Looked awesome. And you're in Philly July 25th, Raleigh, August 22nd, Buffalo, September 19th, Austin, Texas, October 10th, San Diego, November 11th, Phoenix,

Arizona, December 5th. Push and tickeys, push and tickeys. Get your tickies right under here. And we're going to Benedictpolice.com. Right, right, that, bad, bad. It's bad, right, bad, bad. Oh, dude, whatever. Yeah.

Dude came up to me after the show. We took a pick. He brought his dad, bro, had his sick-ass jersey on, whispered in my ear right after, not bad for a fat guy. Dude. And then he was walking out, his walk-off line, he goes, Brandon Jacobs.

I was like, dude. Dude, I got the chills and I was speechless. And like 10 minutes later, I was like, Ronde Barber. I like, I do it. I'm on Bradshaw. Right. Right, right, right. You got the Packers Cup again?

Yeah, dude, it's just mine now. It was my roommates. I just, you ever just take one of your roommates things? It's mine. For sure. Yeah. Sorry, it's mine. Avey Maria.

I'll still listen to Avee Maria sometimes. Oh, they It seems like it should be in like a Like a mob movie I always love putting it on like when it comes Yeah, slow motion Is that Is that

Is that like in a video game trailer or something? It has to be Has to be Or maybe like the departed You know, you never seen it But I get it I get it I get it

I love when like A song like that will come on at the gym You know Or when you're doing something like that and you're you're walking around through the gym you know, pump an iron, getting some reps in people are just like, what's you listening to? Probably like Yo Gotti.

Probably like Pearl Jam. Nah, Ave Maria. Church Playlist, 2006. What's up? Ave Maria followed by Deliver us home or deliver us from the Prince of Egypt soundtrack. Oh my God. I forgot about that one.

Prince of Egypt. So underrated. If we're talking soundtracks, comment what your favorite movie soundtrack is of all time. It can be any movie. But did Tarzan up there for me. Tears.

Yeah, some tears. While you were, me and Ryan, me and Rye had some, God, deliver us is so powerful, man.

You get the little kid that comes in to, you know? Hush now, my baby. Oh, dude. So good. And then there's a little,

There's mom in there too, isn't there? Yeah, there's a mom in there. And then the baby's in there. And then it all comes together at the end with like a big triumphant. Oh, dude. I can't. Dun, dun da laos.

Oh my God. Me at Rathskeller Jim. Tear. Dude, that's funny. You mentioned movie soundtracks though because me and Rye had, we had date nine on Saturday night. Frank was staying with my parents. And so one thing we like to do when we have some time without, Mira was still with us because she doesn't really do anything.

So it's all good. But we were, one thing we like to do is we'll just come back to the house. You know, we'll get dinner, but we'll come back to the house. And they'll essentially have kind of our own power hour. But it's not like a power hour per se.

It's just we alternate. Who's picking what YouTube video, like music video or song? song right so we'll be having drinks and then we'll be alternating songs throughout the night and so we're just you know playing the hits oh i got to do this one you're now you know and she played like two or three songs in a row from the cheaper by the dozen soundtrack whoa whoa cheaper by the does i don't know if i've seen it you probably haven't but they have it's they have a handful that's uh yeah in too deep because i'm in too deep and i'm just

Okay, yeah, I know that one. That and, uh, I'm just a kid and life is not. Oh, how's that fucking go? I'm just a kid. Is that the same song? I'm just a kid. I know her. I'm just a kid.

I know that it's not fair. I would cry. I would cry. But when she was like, post date. She mentioned, yeah, she was like, she's like, oh, man, cheaper by a dozen. Best soundtrack ever. and then I got me thinking too

and then now you're talking about that so yeah we'd love to hear people I think Force Gump's up there I think remember the Titans is up there I think Blow with Johnny Depp is up there three of my personal favorites there's a lot that are like

why does that go so hard good fellas up there you can even say space jam God we're so this space jam yeah not a movie podcast

not a movie podcast just the podcast we never wanted to be it's just the best podcast it's just the best podcast it's so funny though because it was just me and her eye but still there's that pressure you know because if you're on a good role you know that's the pressure that counts the most

right there your friends there's a lot of pressure when you're on ox but your wife you can't you got to keep one up and you got to keep one up Yep. And there's no better feeling than when you kind of get risky with one. And it's a little bit of a surprise and it works.

Yeah. Big payoff. Big payoff. And you kind of, that can be it for you. Because nobody wants to, that's, that's one of the worst feelings you can have.

That's one of the worst guys you can be when everybody's like putting on, if you're in a situation like that and everybody's putting on, oh, this song's awesome. Oh man. And people are really like feeling it rocking out, you know, and you're like, oh, me next, me next. turn one on and it's a toll you can just tell immediately people looking down looking away looking at

their phone somebody goes to get the right somebody goes to the restroom you're like ah fuck i killed it i killed it i've been i've been that guy i've been that guy final boss but you know what's important what's important is having somebody who is is there for moral support anyways you know because then you got to be like ah i guess i missed on this one they're like no i'm feeling it like i I know what you're doing there. Like I like, I like the song. It just doesn't like probably like work right now too good.

That's me because I will feel every song. Like even if it's like the weirdest song ever and totally throws off like the vibe that was going. I'm still like I kind of get it. Yeah. Like yeah. You put yourself in their shoes. You're like, no,

it's okay. Yeah. I'm following where you were going. Yeah. We can play four chingy songs in a row and then just a Catholic church song. It's fine. I was feeling that vibe. You got to switch up.

Talk about another song that makes you cry. Every time I try to leave something keeps pulling me back, me back. Oh, man. I love Chingy in that song or whoever is it all high pitch in that song. And then I think Chingy comes in. He's like, me back, me back, like real like. Me back. Oh, yeah. Me and my life.

And at the end, dude, it was meant to be. and it means we got a the only time I've ever done this. Dude, if you were in middle school and early high school in like 2006 to 2009 and you didn't like, you know, put that on a CD for a girl

or like how that is your MySpace song at one point? What were you even doing? Everybody with their girlfriend had a, like their song was, there was always one Chingy song. You and your girl always had a song and one of them was Chingy.

Had to be. started off as Shake You Tail Feather Or not Shake Your Tail Feather Fucking, what's the What's that hit of his? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's in that with Nelly. He's not, but right there, but kind of played out. Right there.

Hold on. I could have sworn I could have sworn Shingy had the Holiday Inn. Shake it there, feather. Holiday Inn was really big. Pulling me back. Big, big song with the girl pulling me back.

One call away. I mean, if you was my baby, oh my God. Oh, dude. I probably gave that. Yeah. I'm putting that in the bank here. And on 4th of July, because I know this is going to end up happening. I'm going to be hanging out with people.

And I'm going to play that. And it's going to get a big, it's going to get a big response. You're going to be like, oh, that was good. You was my baby. Then right after the song, you're going to be like, oh, summer's over. I almost texted you that July 1, 12.01 a.m. Dude, right when I woke up, I was like, it's over. It's over.

I remember, back to work. I remember I did a, I remember I did a blog of like how once fourth of July comes and goes, summer's over. And it got people so mad. I was like, you're just mad because you know, it's true. Sorry, I'm right. All right. Hey, go to Target on July 7th.

Tell me what you see, babe. Back to school, bash, bash, bash. Make me cry. That's my trauma. I don't have any trauma. All my trauma is just that sign and mire. Back to school, bash, bash, get your notebooks. Just 80,000 notebooks in the middle of the aisle.

Oh. But you're also kind of, there was a little bit. I don't know why there was always a little bit in me that was just like, I kind of can't wait to get all the new gear. Yeah, we get your backpack and it's all fresh-ass, crispy notebooks, you know, that haven't been crammed in the desk and in your locker or your whatever for, you have all your pens still, you know, whole lineup of pens just stocked. Hey, the NFL pencils.

See? There was a little bit, but that's, like, that's what you had to do to mentally get over the fact that summer was over. I never really got any cool school supplies because it was like, why do you want cool? My mom was like, why do you want cool school shit? It's kind of,

it's kind of whack. But she would get me the NFL pencils. She was like, here's like your, here's your go off king. You know what I mean? Here's your little treat. Here's your,

please make honor roll. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Here's your treat. Well, I really wasn't focused on my school work or wasn't going to be, but then my mom got me,

San Diego Chargers pencils. I would always use the Chargers one first because that's like Chargers suck. First day of school, my first pencil, Arizona Cardinals. Are you a Cardinals fan? No, they just suck and I don't want to use my Steelers or Colts one right now. You already know how that goes.

Hey, it's just some stuff that only dudes that I don't understand, maybe. Only dudes right there. It's like December. I'm like Chiefs and Eagles, which one should I use? We're getting good. getting good. Kind of sad when I'm sharpening the Colts one.

I'm like, it's almost over. Uh-huh. That means they're done for. Titans pencil. I was like, I'm not even going to use this. This shit's hard. The flames on it?

I was like, yeah, dude, that was bad. Texans would be one of the first ones to go to. Expansion ass franchise. See ya. Fake ass.

Fake asses. Get out of here. Fake ass team. David Carr. My ass. Panthers. accidentally snap it at recess. Oh, well.

Kind of cool colors, though. Kind of cool color. Hey, redskins. See ya never. Just give that one to your friend. Oh, yeah. You can have this dumb ass pencil. Oh, said Redskins.

Whoops. Said it again. Whoops. It's all right. It's all right. Clubhouse. Clubhouse knows. We get it.

We get it. Man, I'm bummed that. I'm bummed that you aren't in town for 4th of July. I feel like we were all. I know. It's like the one day a year that I would be able to get Ben to hanging out with me. It was a big wild card day.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go to a weird pool. Like my parents would have, you know, how to pool back in the day. I'm going to a pool party on Thursday. And it's one of those things that it's like,

I think Ben, there's a possibility he could show up. I am a big, sure, let's do it on 4th of July. Fourth of July says, very sexy holiday. It's not like,

this isn't a holiday podcast by any means, but did you see? We never talk about them. Hold on. Hold on. Somebody on YouTube commented a timestamp. It was like 722.

Before, seven 22, time to get to the Christmas talk. Well, that dude is so funny, bro. That dude is a, he's a real one.

Oh, man. Yep. Well, what are you going to do? OG fam. OG Clubhouse. The, uh,

and yeah, it's like 4th of July and Super Bowl. Sunday. Really the only day is where I'm like, I'll hit up Ben and actually ask him to hang out because he might. Super Bowl Sunday like four hours before the game starts, I'll do anything. You ask me, I'll go. Yeah. Hey, Nike outlet. I'll go. King's Island real quick. I'm there. Four hours before. No pressure. You know what's absolutely insane though is like trying to find some sort of a Fourth of July America themed shirt that doesn't make you look like a complete jackass.

Oh, man. That is so, so accurate. I mean, my God, like, you know, going to a pool party,

right? So, Rye, like she got Mirabella, like a little cute USA-themed bathing suit. She got Frank, a little outfit that's super cool looking. and she got her,

this, you know, really kind of like sexy, cute America mom, wife shirt. And then here I am

looking and everything just like, having a beer with Trump, blinking, I'm a winner in America. Every. Jesus Christ,

dude. Can't get one? Just like cool, like patriotic, normal shirt. No? Why don't I just wear a Donald Trump mask?

Literally, man. It's, It's absolutely insane. I'm gonna pull it up right now and see if I can share. I'm not gonna be able to share the screen. I got a God,

don't even try. What a nightmare. Sounds like a nightmare. I think I got close one year. It didn't fit right, but I think I got close. I went with USA soccer jersey. The real fucked up one.

closest I've ever been. It was black. It had one red sleeve and one blue sleeve and it had like a little USA like crest. And I was like, this is kind of as good as it gets. I think, but it's still not great. Dude.

I love you burpee boy. Whoa. Just down in lukewarm diet Dr. Pepper right now because I need something during the show. All good. First one I see. Drinking till I see stars and stripes

with sunglasses that have the stars and stripes in them. Next best one I see. Joe Biden President Joe Biden looking Goofy looking old

and it's his happy 4th of Easter It's kind of funny Freaking this with Merica I there's nothing more I hate than Murrica I know I don't know who really likes it either It's insane

And I guarantee I guarantee the Fourth of July I'm going to on Thursday I'm going to see something like that I hate Marica too. Why? It's almost like, can we start making fun of it now? Like,

right. It's just been, it's been played. It's just, I can't. It's driving me nuts, man. My whole family is going to look super cute,

super cool, patriotic, and I'm just going to be like a dumbass sitting there with like a white t-shirt and an Indy 500 hat. Hey, red Texans jersey. Stroud. What's up? Happy 4th?

No, not even, dude. It has to be someone. It has to be like Brian Cushing or something. Oh, he is the 4th of July. If the 4th of July was a football player, Brian Cushing. What other? Whitney Merciless. The hardest name.

Oh, my God. Wait. Why haven't we used that? Write that down, bro. A 4th of July was a football player. Let's hold on. There's got to be a quarterback. Tom Brady's pretty 4th of July.

Oh, yeah. He gives me an Uncle Sam vibe. Let's go. Let's go! You know, Gronk is pretty 4th of July. Yeah, Tom Brady is like the Patriot.

Tom Brady is the Tom Brady is the football player's house that you, not even football player. He's the house that you'd want to go to on 4th of July. Gronk is the guy that you want to be there. but you are also kind of afraid of what's going to happen. And you're like,

he's going to be jumping off of the roof into the pool. Yeah, like this party's really white. Then Kevin Falk shows up and you're like, we're good. Hit him in the flat for three yards, runs out of bounds. Hall of Fame career.

Moving the chains. Kevin Falk, 33 jersey on 4th of July. It'd be so hard. Hey, elbow pads too. Yeah, what's up? Patriot's helmet with a visor. and just like long Jordan shorts

no shirt no shirt just elbow pads and visor helmet team Jordans just a handful of grapes other handful of Cheetos what's up so many team Jordans on 4th of July bro just can't wait to blow your hand off in two hours

oh shit is that kind of Kevin Falk jersey okay it sounds like he blew his hand off last night. Yeah. My cousin Joy Joy. He's got all those fucking jerseys. He always does a bunch of dumb shit and says,

I'm part of the clubhouse. I don't know. Oh, God. The visor on 4th of July. Got a lot of sun today. I don't know. Red face mask. That'd be so sick. Oh, shit.

His wife about the divorcee in 15 minutes. Team Jordan's, dude. I love it. Elbow pads. Dude those big-ass elbow pads that he used to work. What iconic look. Jamal had like the bubbles on them, you know? Stephen Davis.

Stephen Davis. Wow. Not a sports podcast. Not a sports podcast. Thought about getting those elbow pads one year in like fifth grade. I was like, what if I ordered those on East Bay, like team colors for St. Barnabas? that old coach P shut that down pretty quick and everyone else in my life

yeah that makes sense 4th of July 4th of July you know what if you know what pisses me off about 4th of July is that it is the annual reminder about how I am apparently the only person on earth who doesn't have a close enough friendship with somebody who owns a boat

I know how come I'm so out of the loop on that. Oh, it's because we're not hot girls. No, dude, there's even so many. I'm just like, how in the hell? Where are all these relationships coming from? Where are all these lakehouses and boats, apparently that everybody else is

going to and is on, except me and Ben? I don't like the guy that owns a boat either. There's always a, there's always a weird passive aggression there. with that guy. It's always like,

what do I owe you? Yeah. He always wants you to know that he has the power over you that he owns a boat and you don't. Always has a sleeve tat too. You're like, hey man, I'm just trying to do some backflips

off of this thing maybe, you know, like I kind of got roped in this whole situation. Sit on a little bit. Do you have any extra hot dogs? Right. Yeah, especially for like what we do,

they're, you know, they like that they don't have, that we don't have a boat. Oh, they love that. You don't even have a boat? Yeah, so you still doing that internet thing? Hey, keep killing it.

Keep killing it. Never seen one thing I've ever done. Hey, your stuff is awesome. Keep killing it. Keep killing it. basically keep killing it equals kill yourself you suck just trying it bro just trying it i don't know what are you going to do you ever seen the sandlot

yeah freshman p e we had to watch it it's the weirdest day ever they're like everybody uh turn off all the lights in the gym or watching a movie i was like are we allowed to do this just sitting on the hardwood gym floor watching sandlot my ass was so cold i was like can i do can i do vocab during this not a whole lot of ways to get comfy on those gym floors like that yeah the uh so no sandlot wouldn't it wouldn't wouldn't have been wouldn't have wouldn't have gone for it if it wasn't forced upon you in gym class

huh i wouldn't have no i don't know when i would have watched that maybe like out of friend's house on some weird shit yeah god what a nice thing about having a sleep over with you and being like, hey, let's put on a movie. I always was cool with it. Like one time I watched Joe Dird at my friend's house and spent the night there, it is a, it was a nightmare though, but like that was a game changer. It was always a nightmare having me over. I was always like, do you even want me here? You know, you ever spend the night solo at your friend's house and you're like, I don't even think you just, I guilted you into this, didn't I?

Yeah, that was the, that was the first lesson of. the dynamics of three. Like when you were a little kid and it would be a one-on-one sleepover and you'd be like, even as like a nine or ten-year-old, you're like, it would probably be a lot better

if there was just one more person here. Yeah. I don't like that you can hear everything I'm saying. It breaks a lot of, a lot of tension, you know? Just making them stay up with you. You don't play this game on your game system?

So weird. That kind of gives me anxiety a little bit thinking back to like when you would have to entertain like that, you know? And you could even tell when a friend of yours didn't really want to like spend the night, you know. They'd be giving hints and shit. You know, you're like, I'm forcing my way through this. But it was always killer when you would end up having like a bang, like a like a kick ass like sleepover, man. That literally like you're up all night, laughing your ass off, either playing video games or just.

whatever it was. But then, man, you had some stinkers that you're like, I guess I'm transferring schools. I think I always kind of made it up during the night portion, you know? Maybe not the best day part of the, you staying all night tonight? But the night, I was like,

we'll get a few laughs in. We'll make it worth it, you know? There was this one time I remember I had a buddy sleepover and I just, God, dang. It's just one of those where I was like, man,

And nothing's tough, tough crowd denying nothing is working. Tough room. Hey, you want to go shoot hoops. Just kind of straight face through it. Hey, you want to throw, you got a baseball, you throw that around. You want to capture the flag. Hey, we can rent a video game. I mean, just.

And then, dude. All the closers. All the stops, man. He has a gorilla basketball hoops. Oh, everything. I think my parents might order pizza. Like, everything. Dude was out by like 10.30.

I was like, man, he really did not want to sleep over. Like he's getting through this Easy When all else fails It's like We'll go to the mall That's if it does If mall doesn't work

Hey bro Sorry Just not our day Not when you're 11 Oh like 11 years old And I remember thinking Ah Maybe should just ask them

Come over for a little bit Not stay the night Because this sucks That's even we're Yeah I'm like What are we even doing Are you my girlfriend?

God dang. All those dynamics were so weird. And now the more I think about it, it's like, I know you weren't a lot to sleep over places. And I'm kind of like, man, maybe I should just make my kids not do that either. I think that was the whole thing with my parents. Why they didn't? Because they're like, it's just too weird. Just don't do it.

And I was like, come on. Because everybody was doing it. But they're just like, just trust me on this one. Yeah, I think so. But that was like so much of childhood, man. Like going to stay at your boy's house, you know? Big FOMO. Big FOMO when you couldn't.

Or when you didn't get the invite, you know? And there was like one of them going and it was like, damn. They're probably having so much fun. Ooh. I stopped getting the invite because like word around town was I wasn't allowed. So they just stopped inviting me. And I was like, dude, yeah. Shit.

I don't know, bro. I'll just be watching fucking Nick at night while you guys are like probably meeting up with the hottest girls in our grade somehow. Right. Somehow. Red red. Just doing the coolest shit. Just 20 dudes playing capture the flag at like 11.19 p.m. I'm just in my bed.

Saying Hail Mary's and shit. Getting ready for it. What am I going to wear to church tomorrow? They're roasting marshmallows laughing. making fun of you. No, I don't even cross their mind, bro. I'm over. I'm done.

I'm out. Out of the picture. Bro, we had this basketball tournament and I wasn't there. Yeah, that shit always, you know, it's so funny because that shit always was like

schemed up so big. And then it never came to fruition. You know, always be like, wait, so we got eight dudes coming. We're going to do a run robin of Incia. A. 06 and we're going to

it is, you know, by the, by half time of the second game over it. Over it. Yeah. Then you go and leave and you like start an Airsoft war or something and like the still trying to play a little bit, but one kid keeps like looking over and you know and you're like, it's done man.

I can't ever just do the plan. Yeah. You got to have no, you got to have no plan. You got have no plan to sleep over. You got to have no plan at a birthday party. That's what I'm saying. I like that. I like the no plan, but people are always like, okay, I'm coming over. What's the plan?

I'm like, God, damn it, bro. Don't you know? Like, I got it, but I'm not going to say it because it'll ruin everything. Yes, we got Cornhole back there. We got a spike ball station. I'm like, I want to come anymore. We got a craft table where you can make your own drinks and glasses. We got, yeah, I just want to show up and just whatever happens happens and we have the most fun with it.

Mm-hmm. That's it. I don't want to know the plan. I don't want to know the plan. Yeah, there's some folks. Hey, the worst, though, the worst. I know we don't. I don't know if this isn't a reminiscent podcast or anything, but

Hey, when you try to set up a, of, like, a football game at, like, your middle school field or, like, your high school field, like, eight guys against eight guys. And no one would show up or try. Like, you'd have the big plan and nobody, you're like, God, damn it. Now he's got to be on my like That was a big lead down That's a big lead down That's a big lead down

He does show up Is like a fringe kid You know And you're like Ah man But he was like really excited about it Because he got the invite You know

I mean like fuck Zach sucks But he's here We'll take him They're gonna be thrown to his side The whole fucking night But just like Be nice to him

Like he's just excited that he's here He makes one catch Takes it to the house You're like Zach may be all right Zach's on our team, bitch. You passed on Zach. We did it.

Yeah, you get real self-righteous on him. Pieces of shit. You didn't want Zach to come. You become too good or friends of them, you know? Like. Right. Then all of a sudden he starts inviting you to his sleep over and you're like, okay.

All right. Yeah. On Monday he's being a little too cool with you. You're like, hey. That was just like that moment type thing. like we're not boys at school. You can't borrow my fucking Steelers pencil, Zach. Chill.

Let's remember how this goes in sixth grade, bro. Okay. You did carry us to victory on the field out there, but you weren't even invited. Remember that. Zach, bro. And this is why I don't want my kid to even go to school. Zach, dude.

Zach wearing the weirdest shoes. Home schooled kid. Hey, shows up. Shows up in like a. Not homeschool. I mean, only child kid. And you're like,

like a weird, like a weird off brand Puma jersey. You're like, I mean, I guess because they're playing football. Sex, we're in a Walmart manning, bro with the horseshoe right here.

They don't even have those on the, his family is like poor, but we'll take them on our team. He always says, his mom smokes and probably won't pick him up but yeah we're gonna have to get we're gonna have to give Zach a ride home because his parents are definitely definitely on purpose for getting hey how do you get here don't want to know probably the boss or something yeah that's what you're leaving the field and and Zach's just like still kind of just lounging around

your mom's like what's like what's who's, let's just drive, just drive, just drive. Well, if he needs a ride no, no, they're coming, they're coming. Your mom ends up picking him up. Then you like have to get ice cream with Zach. You're like, God damn.

He thinks we're friends for real. Yeah, your mom does him a favor and stops with a drive-thru at McDonald's or whatever. Zach, do you want something to? What the fucking offer him? What? his mom smokes you say in the car

his mom smokes god dang your friends on Monday are like what'd you do after the game you're like nothing oh we hung out you're like we got McDonald's dude

and your boys start questioning you and then even one of the hot girls is like do you hang out with Zach I thought you smelled smoky and you're like damn it That's a dreamcast.

Why didn't even put this shit together? I thought you smelled smoky. Piece of shit. All of a sudden, you're just in every group project with Zach. Hey, hey. Yeah, when it's like, all right, now we're going to do so we're going to partner up and we're going to pick. Dude, you can feel, you can feel the glaze of Zach on you already. Zach's looking at you hardcore.

You just glance that way and he's already like that. God. Hey, sorry, dude. I think I'm gonna, I think me and Tommy are just gonna roll with this one. But next time. Tommy already has a partner.

Tommy has your other, your friends. They're already partnered up. So you're like, I think I'm just gonna do this one solo. My mom like doesn't like me to do partner. I just, it's easier for us.

I'm in trouble right now at home, so I can't be partners with anybody. And the teacher makes you be with them anyway. You're like, fuck, dude. So bad. Kind of smells weird. Has a good card collection, though. Right.

There's always some like redeeming quality, you know? Yeah, whatever. Zach is Zach, but he does have a Kobe Bryant rookie card. So just saying. You ever even seen one of those? All a graphic. I saw it. Did you?

And. His whole entire basement fridge is stocked with nothing but Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper, bitch. Ice cold. Just down there. His parents don't even make us stop. He said all this shit in front of him. He said I can come over whenever, so I don't know. Real close to Michelle's house just saying we could sneak out.

You're like talking them up to like trying to send them. Trying to get into where, yeah, trying to get into where. Zach's house now just becomes like the meetup for all the boys. Yeah. His parents were like happy when I was there. They're like, have the friends over. We can play capture the flag.

They said that. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Like he's Zach's the, no,

he's the only child. You're right. Shit. I was about to say like he has an older sister who's just like really put his parents through hell. So then by the time they got to Zach, they're just like, whatever,

don't even care. Yeah. you guys can go to Spencer's gifts it's fine his sister's like his sister's like six years older than him so it's like one of those weird you know when she's a when she's a senior in high school like you're in

sixth grade don't even hasn't they're never home you're like what you're doing they didn't even grow up together you know but like she just drives her parents drives her parents crazy she has a different dad for sure you're like I don't I don't want to ask

yeah just yeah and yeah don't tell me. Not going to ask. But so then from that, like they just don't care because they're like, well, it's just Zach. So.

But then Zach's parents like, like, well, he's hanging out with that Politi kid. So maybe he's like, you know, starting to get in. You know,

maybe we don't got to worry about it. Zach transfers to the next year. Never hear from him again. Zach went to Perry for high school for sure. fell off the face of the earth. Oh, man. Clubhouse is going to think we're absolute psychopaths, but they are already.

They get it, bro. They get it. They get it. Not a middle school podcast, not a middle school podcast. Hey, you see, that's where,

yeah, it's like 12 years later, you see Zach, you see Zach like at the track randomly. You're like, what? at the track like oh this makes sense but like oh man i don't think i want to start this again he's kind of fat you're like damn it was hoping for better for you Zach i remember when

you took that house and that eight on eight game that remember you took that slant to the crib dude and now your ankles are big as your calves going on. Has like five kids. You're like, we're 26. But he is wearing a Brian Cushing jersey. So what's up, Zach?

That's how you bring it. That's how you put a bow on it. And that's what we call putting a bow on it, Clubhouse. All right. Let's get to heard from Melania this week. A lot of stuff here.

From, well, first, team these guys at gmail.com. team these guys at gmail.com. This is from Jimmy, Brian Dawkins. So, fellas. I was casually watching the 2007 National Championship game between Florida and Ohio State

on Tuesday night at 2.45 a.m. Like the football junkie, I am. I couldn't help but be absolutely amazed at the helmet matchup in that game. Florida's orange helmet with the gator and blue cursive, colliding with Ohio State's shining silver with that classic striping and Buckeye leaf stickers. And since this isn't a football podcast,

I like to ask, What are your guys' favorite college football helmets ever? Slap my ass harder than Ray Lewis hit Darren Sproul to stop him on fourth and two to win the game in a week two of 2009. Remember that like it was yesterday because I was pissed because I was like, damn, I needed the charges to beat the Ravens

because they're in the division with Steelers. Yeah. Favorite college football helmets ever. Ben, this is your territory. Yeah, no, it's you. It's you too. I like, I always thought the original Oregon helmet with just the O was really cool.

Yep. I felt like it was like a breakthrough in helmets for some reason. I was just like, what team is that? And I was like, is that the Oakley logo? And I was just like, the facemask black? I just hit, dude, it hit. And I kind of wish Oregon would bring it back, honestly.

But they always do those wings, not mad at that either. But that OG Oregon Joey Harrington joint, nice. What other ones are just? anything for Ohio State Notre Dame they're good but they're just

they're just so good I don't even think about them anymore yep anything that has a tie in with the Rose Bowl like when TCU had the horn frog

that had the rose in its mouth when Wisconsin yeah when Wisconsin makes the red inside of their W

like roses Yeah, Purdue with the rose going through the P That shit is so cold I can't believe they're allowed to do that honestly I feel like the athletic department would be like No, that's against our branding rules Like just shut the fuck up Right

Some nerds messing it up totally I always love Oklahoma State Like I always love the O and the S and the U Like fly together Black, Orange, White I mean that's tough to do kind of a little bitch for any script on a helmet like

homie said the gators like a Florida helmet the fact that they don't have the gator on there is so like odd but works yep when Oklahoma State has cowboys in script old miss oh you know what old miss like not the blue helmet but the new one that's like

has a bunch of shit all over it yeah the white one it's like white and blue and it looks like like somebody just splattered a bunch of pain on it. That's that. I didn't, I thought you couldn't get better than their light blue helmet, but he did.

Yeah. Like long, you know, Texas that's up there with Michigan, Notre Dame, Ohio State. Those are the ones that you just think of, you know, just the simple white with the burn orange horns.

OG whiteout team, Texas. Everybody loves doing wide out, like you mentioned last time. but Texas was the first, I think. Right, where you're like, damn, that looks good. Yeah, they put it on the map with that Vince Young. Jordan Shipley type beat.

This is from Stephen. Groundhog Day Shootout. Hey, Joey and Ben, this is not a sports podcast or a holiday podcast. So can you rank your favorite underrated holidays at what big time sports games you would put on TV regardless of the season? For me, it's a bowl game on Groundhog. at the Alamo Dome while the Groundhog Day guys and tuxedos run out on the field with those giant team flags and the song Can I scream plays in the background like it's Friday night lights

Slop my ass with a Gruden camp Kubey camp shirt with the excitement of the last moments of mass when the priest says you may go in peace while Brett Farf puts John Gruden in a full Nelson P s Louisiana raging Cajuns versus the Penn State nitty lions are playing in this bowl game Oh dang this guy. This guy is just my brain Underrated holidays. I don't even know how to... What's a good underrated holiday? And who would play in the game? Are there any for us?

Are there any underrated holidays? I don't know. I never even think or talk about holidays with you. It's so foreign. I don't know. Halloween is kind of like fringe. Like it's not mainstream, but it's kind of sexy. Not a chance.

Halloween is huge. Yeah, you're right. I was just trying to make it. some it wasn't. It's something like Memorial Day or Labor Day. I know, but those are the only two I can think of right now. I know there's like two more in that little like, in that conference of holidays.

Dude, we should put the holidays in conferences. You know, there is like two more teams in there. And I'm like, what are they? Yep. There's always one holiday that I'm like, oh, yeah, I do kind of like that. But it doesn't mean shit. what do you like better? Memorial Day or Labor Day? Labor Day.

What was just such a these guys question? Yeah, you like Labor Day? I know it sounds better. Labor Day bowl, that sounds so bad. Well, Memorial Day is always just depressing for me. I mean, that's the day after the Indy 500. And so I'm just in like a terrible state of mind. Labor Day, at least it's like three-day weekend, start a fall, football. Holy shit.

Halloween's next month. Christmas? I don't know. You know, it's like right there. I don't know, dude. Valentine's Day?

Your favorite underrated holidays and what big time sports game you put it? Yeah, that's see, that's like if you had to, I think you'd have to, I mean,

Groundhog Day, that's kind of. St. Patrick's Day? No, that's not underrated. Is it? I mean,

I think, I think of it is that, like it's big time, but I think like, you know, when I tell my sister and her husband about St. Patrick's Day

and how like, oh, man, I love it. It used me so fun. It's St. Patrick's Day. I'm like, yeah. St. Patrick's Day and Valentine's Day are in the same conference for sure. You're like, they're kind of like sexy to watch. If St. Patrick's Day and Valentine's Day played each other, I'd be like, this is good. I'm watching this, dude.

Oh, yeah. That's a good game. I think, yeah, I mean, because obviously like Christmas, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, Halloween. And Christmas Eve played, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Christmas, Christmas Eve. Thanksgiving Halloween 4th of July to me that's like

Christmas and Christmas Eve Thanksgiving is like Ohio State Michigan Penn State whereas Halloween is like Wisconsin

and then 4th of July is Michigan State no not good enough no I know because 4th of July

July is up there. So that's, I don't know, maybe if you did this with the SEC, it'd be different. This is like what we did with Christmas and. Yeah. Christmas, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, that's Alabama LSU. I'm nervous talking about this, bro. I don't want to, I don't want to label a holiday, a team and not be proud of it. That's Alabama LSU. It's like when all things consider, not just like how they are currently, but like, that's like Alabama LSU, Florida. And then 4th of July is like because the red, white and blue, it's like old miss, I don't know. You get what I'm saying, though. Those are the conferences

that those are in, whereas like St. Paddies and Valentine's are in St. Paddy's and Valentine's are in like the ACC. And it's like, yeah, like they have a Clemson in there. Maybe Florida States really good one year, but yeah, I don't know. This is only something that these guys clubhouse and everything would even understand what we're picking up what we're putting down. He sees. Oh, New Year's Eve, though, for some reason. From Anthony, O.C. Umaniora.

What's up, fellas, a big fan of the Shah. You guys are hysterical. I'm a middle school PE teacher and me and my coworkers, I always ask each other, hey, how's it going? And we respond by slapping in the earth wall and say, live in the dream and fake laugh. When you guys are talking about the JV defensive coordinators. I had to reach out and let you know. Freshman football is where it's at. It's the best coaching job by a mile. Defensive scheme, blitz seven,

it'll work 75% of the time. Offensive scheme, give the ball to the best athlete and tell them to score. No punting. Always going for two. It's basically madden in real life. If you guys are ever in Connecticut and free on a Thursday afternoon at 4.30,

hit me up. I'll get you some ticks. Probably sideline passes. Slap my ass and say, get them chapping! Because we keep trying to practice going on two and a receiver keeps jumping off side. I don't want to go to the game, bro.

I just want to go to the practice. Yeah. Can Johnson and Schmitty come coach a practice? Ooh. Actually, Burns and Rocco. Can Rocco and Burns come coach a practice? Yeah, that'd be so sick. On the line!

That is so true, though. Yeah, just give it to your fastest, best dude. It's like that. It's like that in every level. But at the same time, just all the other talent isn't quite up to par. It's like what they were doing with Cam Newton at Auburn, you know? That was just like eighth grade football with one guy that was bigger than everybody. Like put him at quarterback, just sneak it, whatever.

There was always a dumbass wide receiver that was jumping off sides. And it was always me. And it was me in college. Oh, too! The fucking offensive linemen never more mad at anything. life because they don't want to have to be trail when I couldn't when I couldn't run the ball and I had to be an O lineman and it was on two was like a crucial point of the game I jumped off sides all my friends looked at me like you fucking idiot I was like I don't even really want

to be here so well not only that but in practice they just get shitty because they'd have to run or do something or do you know up downs um this is from skull cow Vikings Jesus stuff What's up boys? Did either of you have an awkward encounter with a church teacher? Like both of you, I was raised Catholic and can relate to a lot of the experiences you talk about. Only difference is I'm Mexican, so everything was in Spanish.

When I had to do confirmation class, I ended up talking... Oh, sorry. Can't read. Moron? Okay. When I had to do confirmation class, I ended up taking them in English.

The teacher was a guy named Joe who would host a basketball open gym at a high school he coached at. It was a fun time until one day. Let's just say the boy. were playing like someone was recording a hoop mixtape and fouls got hard on a drive to the hoop Joe swings at me like a JBL clothes line from hell and I fell to the ground I didn't make much of the situation when it happened but every class we had after that he would say things like how's the chest and don't drive on me it wasn't the same after that slap my ass with a coaches clipboard with

a back screen post play drawn on it as I go over Victor old depot 2017 pacer stats he was really good that year you guys come up with this shit Dude, that is the only play on a dry race board from a coach is a fucking backdoor screen. You're going to come up, you're going to show, and you're going to do the way they... The way they... With the way they... With the marker. Marker runs out of ink, too.

You're like... Yep. Church teachers. I guess that, I mean, going to Catholic schools, I guess they kind of all were church teachers in a way. Yeah, but the religion teacher was always like... super lenient, you know? Like I felt like you could have shot somebody in religion class and she would have been like, it's okay.

It was just, it was kind of a, I don't want to say they were a pushover, but they were just kind of like more like chill. I don't know if I had that experience. I feel like it was, you know, either they were like old nuns who were kind of trying to smack you with a ruler type or it was like a football coach who,

just taught religion because he needed to be a teacher along with being a coach and he didn't really have an idea what's going on. I know exactly who you're talking about. Did he coach special teams too? And where are aviators? Same school, same experience.

And great kickoff scheme. Jesus stuff. Yeah, no, he never had any of that. I never had any of that. My religion teacher was cool. Like they're always super cool. Super like,

give us a break in the day. Like I always like going to religion class because I was like, this is kind of like a free space. Like I don't really have to fucking think too much. Like it's about like God. Like what are we going to do? Read a couple Bible verses like whatever. But we did do something one time and she snapped and we were all like.

Yep. You pissed off the religion lady? Mm-hmm. Oh my God. That's a scary day. We're the worst class. in St. Barnabas's history. From Trevor.

Sports CQ LL. I don't know what that means. Q LLL. CQ LL. CQL? I don't know. These guys, what's up, Joe, Ben, huge favorites to you guys in the pod. Thanks.

I'm emailing in to ask, what's your guys' favorite sports call of all time by an announcer? My personal favorite is the Gus Johnson's call and a Jaguars Hell Mary to win the game against the Texans. Gerard steps up. Fires.

Mark Sam's Walker. Oh, unbelievable. Mike Thomas touchdown Jags. Slap my ass and continually yell, get it, walk, to walk, a ball. Like a DB coach would say when his star safety forces a fumble and the team tries to swarm on the ball to recover it.

Sports, oh, that's what it is. It was a mis... It was a typo. He put a cue in there instead of an A. Sports call. That's what it was going to be. Oh. Sports call. God, if this was a sports podcast, this would be a great question. Yeah, we'd probably have something. But it's not. So I don't really know. It's not a sports podcast at all.

I don't really have one. Mine would be something so stupid. I know you have one, though. One of my favorites is Gus Johnson as well. And Joey Porter, Jr. was Penn State versus Wisconsin, big noon kickoff. Joey Porter Jr. picked off a pass at Jump Around up there, Camp Randall. And Johnson just literally just screams. he's like

Bona! Oh! That's all I need. And then Borders just running down the sideline. That's hard, bro. Yeah, just to scream. That's kind of perfect.

Like, I don't need some, like, you know, cherry on top, like crazy sports call that you, that's probably like something he practiced the night before. Just go crazy. Just picked it off and screamed. Just scream.

That's sick. I like that. yeah that's one of my all-time favorites um god i'm trying to think of some of the legendary games of the past or just that one that one call that put gus johnson on the map was uh what's his face that little guard from washington that hit the three and he's like oh what did that shit was sick oh isaiah thomas yeah

i watched that on tickock like 47 times in a row just the timing of it. Like he couldn't stop saying cool shit. Like, you know, he was just in the zone. He was in his bag and he hit that three. Go, blooded. It went right to commercial. I was like, oh.

Yeah, that's what you long for. Yeah. One that sticks in my mind. It's not my favorite, but one that sticks in my mind, probably because the sports center announcer, every time the white stocks would play and Alexia Ramirez would be in a highlight,

he would then mock it and like do it. Is Mark Burley was throwing a perfect game against the raise in 2009. and Hawk Harrelson was the broadcaster for the White Sox. Huge Homer, huge homer, this guy, old guy.

And it was the last out. It was the last, there's two outs in the ninth and burly threw it as a ground ball to Alexia Ramirez, the shortstop. And Hawk Harrison just goes, Alexa! As he, like,

fielded it and threw it across the diamond. And then I forget what sports center anchor, but then every time the White Sox were, he was doing a highlight of the White Sox. He would always throw in. Alexi! And so that always sticks out of my head. Sports center anchors just running my brain.

But yeah. My favorite call by us. Joe Buck, Colin. Ray John Rondo here, Kevin Garnett there. During a game. Like during a game.

I know, I know, I know. But sports center is kind of during a game if you didn't watch the game. Which you didn't. Nope. Just cocoa. Just a sexy swing of the bat and crack of the ball. I look at the TV and some sports center anchor just goes, Co. Co. Crist.

I'm like, that's all I need to hear. Yours would probably be Summerall. That's what yours is, Summerall. Do it. And on the past, break up, Dre, Bligh. Taking it to the crib, Summerall is acting like it's not even happening. I'm like, this is insane.

Just like showboating on the way in. Dre, Bligh. No excitement. Rams fans going insane. I'm like, this is the best moment of my life. 24-yard line and some-Rall's already calling it a touchdown. Touchdown Rams.

You hear the- Silence as he's running. You hear the Fox scorebug? It's like, you know. Oh, oh, I just got the chills. Dre, Bligh. Zoom here. He says fuck in the camera like three times.

no one's saying anything still. Yeah. You just can't throw there. Madden says some shit like that. You're just watching Dre Bligh say five F words with your dad in the living room. Christmas tree in the corner, you're like, he's pretty good. From Eric, love the pod, need an answer. Guys, best podcast going.

You guys are freaking hilarious. Thanks. I'm a J.B. football coach and a social studies teacher. And I've said, My hero? My question. Who is the worst gym guy?

I say worse and not worse because 12 plate leg press guy and quarter rep super heavy squat guy is clearly worse. But they don't directly impact my workout. 15 minute rest per set guy impedes my ability to get in the rack. But I can't find alternatives. Options. One, bad form lateral raise guy that stands three inches from the mirror. Dude 20 reps 35 seconds for a full minute. Can't get in there.

two fake face sweat wiping guy who pulls his shirt up to expose his abs and pose always a few high school girls around while he does three one arm rogue guy that does it on the dumbbell rack instead of a bench my pick is number two but i'm open to your thoughts good a walk good walk good welcome thanks um i do he's right about this that's very kind eric yeah that is nice we we we love that um thanks for rocking with us um i would say number two might be Ben, but Ben typically wears a hoodie. What is number two? Fake face sweat, wiping guy who pulls a shirt

up to expose his ab and pose. I, yeah. I've been that guy. I've been that guy. I usually if I'm trying to take a peek at what I look like in the mirror at a gym, I usually make sure nobody's looking. Like, I'm not trying to show people.

I do. If he wouldn't have said it, I wouldn't have said this right now, but the guy that does his workouts in front of all the dumbbells in front of the mirror. I'm like, just back up a little bit, a little bit. A little bit. People got a fucking get,

I want those 50s right in front of you, dog. Now I got to wait while you're fucking. That's a walkway. Back up. Yeah. Yeah. That's a walkway.

That is a little annoying for me. Here's a weird thing for me that's not included in the ones that you gave, but I don't like when people show up to the gym, not dressed for the gym. It's insane. Or they're dressed a little too much for the gym. Like, I've seen people show up in pajama pants. I've seen a guy show up and like a wife beater.

Like, just like a middle-aged white guy. I'm like, what? Come on. Huh? Dude, you don't want to come to that to the LA Fitness on Hollywood then. Bro. Can't imagine. A lot of weird fits.

But, uh... Yeah, I'd say out of those. three given. I'd say fake face sweat wiping guy because he's kind of with that, he's kind of the dude who's always in the way. And he's the one who's taking forever with the weights that you want to use.

That's all one guy. Because he's not there to really put in work. He's there to just be there for the longest amount of time and try to catch the attention of people and be like, that's all in one guy, in my opinion. Also, I don't like lady that's on the bench that everybody wants, like the movable bench that you can like crank up and down,

not like the bench press, but like the bench with the wheels on and shit. And she has like the fives, the tens, the 15s, the 20s and the 25s, like all around her. I'm like, yo,

you got to, you can't just reserve the weights. Right. Pick one. Like, I know you're kind of new in the gym and like I shouldn't be you know what I mean like you're just trying to work out and shit but like still like you got to you got to figure it out soon I agree with that totally um so hope that answers Eric and thanks for the kind words last one here from from Ronald solid questions hey guys keep up the elite work you guys make the weeks a lot easier to get through God love you Ben would you rather do a celebrity golf tournament like Joey just did and try your hardest all 18 holes, or

do one of your stand-up shows with your preferred shirt on, but then have to wear basketball shorts and no shoes or socks in your bare feet. Those are your options. So do you want to ponder on that while I read mine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joey, would you rather throw out the first pitch at a game

at Wrigley without holding one of your kids, then intentionally throw it well short of the plate, but you had to act like you were really trying and bumped with the result? Or attend the Cubs bad. practice before a game with all the players, but whiff on three swings in a row when the pitch wasn't even thrown fast and then call it quits after those three whiffs. And you cannot tell them it was on purpose. Slop my ass and yell, hey, like a dad yelling across the street from his garage.

These are very interesting, solid questions here. Crazy, crazy research done on on these questions. I do a show just with shorts on and bare feet for sure. Yeah, because you could kind of play into that. Yeah, that's a joke in itself. Yeah. Your toe. Your F-boy scene. Right. People would kind of come to expect that. I don't think anyone would be shocked, honestly. I don't think you can whiff in front of the whole team, dude.

No, my my pick would definitely be throughout the first pitch and throw it short. Yeah. Because everybody, everybody expects, like everybody just expects those first pitches to just be all fucked up. Unless you're Jim Harbaugh. Remember? He like this for like two years. Brought the glove tucked in jersey and spikes.

He wore spikes out on the mountain. I like that he wears cleats. I like that. I love it too. I think it's hilarious. I didn't want to be annoying. I like Michigan guy on this podcast, but I do,

I do like that. Like if every coach wore cleats, I'd be like, yeah, kind of. They're on the field. See, I disagree. I think it's just strictly like a Jim Harbaal, you're a psycho, but I think it's hilarious type of thing.

Yeah, I don't know. Like, I don't want Mike Tomlin to have cleats on on the sideline. Oh, that's not him. I think he has before, but that's not right. But he's cool, bro. Like, Mike Tomlin will come out, and for as much shit I give him, but he'll come out like wearing like Jordan Tins. He should.

He should. I know he has. He has. Really? Steel tins? Yeah. Such a Pittsburgh Jordan, by the way. I always get the numbers mixed up.

So let me check. Yeah. Steel tins have like the stripe on top or the stripes. Those are coming back out, by the way. No, he's worn the tens and the 12s. Ooh. I think the 12s are kind of his typical pick, but he's worn both of them.

Rose got shoe game. But yeah, yeah. And if Jim Harbaugh wore the Jordan. 12s. I'd be like take those off, dude. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I would have too much pride. Like, even though I wouldn't hit it out of the park or any, like, I would still want to at least be like, hey, man, like I got a little nice swing, you know?

Like, I want to make a complete fool of myself out of myself in front of Cody Bellinger or Danesby Swanson. Like, they're not, no one, they're not watching the first pitch anyways. No one ever really is. And like everybody expects it to be fucked up. And it would just be like a monumental like, oh, I got to do it, you know? And that's like a cool checklist thing to do. So first pitch easily. Yeah. I think if I tried my hardest, I'd come up short anyway.

That's what I want to see is you to do a first pitch. I would practice it just so like I knew how far to throw it. Because I don't know if I've ever thrown an actual pitch on a diamond like regulation diamond before. The depth perception, I'm telling you it messes with. I bet. Because, like, the stadium is big and, like, it doesn't look that far away when you're not out there. But then when you get out there, it's like, what the fuck? How do people throw it 100 miles an hour from this far away?

Yeah. Anyways, team these guys at gmail.com. Appreciate that. Tung, Kim rolling in over the weekend. Keep them coming. I always love hearing from you guys. Keep them coming. Have a great 4th of July.

Get those Kevin Falk jerseys out. Show us your 4th of July 5th. tag me and Joey on Instagram or send them in yeah tag us on Instagram yeah Stoic is a real story that

you know Do you have a good Fourth of July fit or is it or something weird from Old Navy with the with the fucking volleyball

on it or something that your father-in-law wants you to match with them and it makes you look like a complete jackass or are you gonna wear

you know a Brian Cushing with a visor any of the above sound great send them in cool yeah subscribe on YouTube these guys on YouTube

watch us every week again send to five friends five friends that you played football with five friends that you cheered football with five friends that you want to be JV defensive coordinators or freshman defensive coordinators with

have them join along have them join along and it'd be fucky and it'll be good cool anything else from you send it to five girls just to see, just to see. You know, you never know, they could be burpee girls deep down. That's true.

It's true. Cool. All right. Yep. Have a good fourth and talk to you next week, Vesante Shanko. Didn't he test a birdie?