THESE GUYS! - If You Wear a Turtleneck You're Getting F*cked

Episode Date: October 15, 2022

On this episode Ben and Joey talk about the excruciating pain of sitting next to your middle school gf at a movie theatre and discuss how joey has 2 gf's on the Steelers 🔔 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCks0zMVeSNG0TJVxWKpjwsw

Looks cool. You ever think? You ever just like, you ever just stopped? And like even in your living room or something? And you just stare at something. You stare at something that's, you know, a piece of furniture, a table. And you're like, wow, someone or somehow came up with a way to make that. Somebody made that shit.

I always say that in my head when somebody made that shit. Damn. Like even look at this little contraption right here. That's, you know, for what? For like a parade to like. people to stand on or something. I don't know. I can never do that.

Looks like a tree stand. That's what's crazy about Riley. She, like, she can figure out how to literally do anything. And I'm just not built that way. I'm like, I just don't care enough.

I don't care enough to, like, to build furniture from IKEA. I'm like, I'd pay anyone millions of dollars just to fucking build that thing for me. I would do terrible, nasty things,

like really degrading things for, just for people, to do all that bullshit that I don't want to do. I'd lay outside naked for days. Just for somebody to assemble a couch. I'm like, I'm not doing that shit, man. So not where my heart is. Nuts and bolts.

No, man. My mind is occupied with way too many other things that I think are way more important. And Riley's like, there's directions. Like, there's YouTube. I'm like, gosh. No. Oh, to go on YouTube and look up a tutorial for something I don't want to do in the first place. I'm like, these are two things I don't want to do now.

at my old like at the day job you know when we used to work like a traditional job people used to get so shitty at me because they'd be like you know you can just like look it up on youtube right i'm like nope nope not doing it because you got the first two minutes of subscribe to my page you want to know more about how to do this and that i'm like get to the point right youtube tutorial guys there's worst voice ever there has to be a youtube channel that's like all these how-toes they're literally the amount of time they're supposed to be you know It's like a 50-minute out-to video. Could have been done by now. Yeah. Give it to me in a minute and a half. Now we're talking. Like a thing on Premiere, like any of the editing tools that we use?

Dude. I do it every day. 40 seconds. 40 seconds. The editing software for shit. No wonder. Dude. Can you help me edit this video?

I'm like, no, I don't even know how to edit in the video. That's what's crazy too is people like actually have built empires and have like full living. like wages off just being how to YouTube videos and like how to work Adobe for me it kind of is the most helpful thing ever it really is but it's just wild that you know somebody capitalized on it hey yeah I'm gonna do these how to he's like there's a dude who does a podcast with my dad he's from philly and he's like building a youtube empire right now just on like do it yourself plumbing and like remodeling in the house shit plumbing is that's a big deal dude it's wild you know I did the other day this is the most manliest thing I think

ever done in my life. My sink was like clogged and shit for like weeks, dude. And I would just wait for the water to go down like over three days time. And I'd be like, oh, okay, we're good again. Then I'd go like brush my teeth. It'd be up there for another three days. The other day I'd just had it. Wait three more days for brush your teeth. Well, I'd go in the kitchen sink. I was just like, I can't, I can't do this right now. I could look up a how to video, but no. So I just winged it, got the plunger, and just went in on the sink. plunder. Yeah.

Oh shit. It worked. Put like the leg up and shit. Oh yeah. I was in a hurry too. So I was like, God damn it. Yeah.

I feel like the plumbing nose. Like it just like to test you. Like it's sitting there just laughing at its ass off that you're like getting so pissed. Like come on. You come on. And then finally when it's like, okay. We put him through enough.

And it's like, yeah, it's not. You're saying your pipes have a personality. It knows, bro. Nice pipes. Nice pipes. Anybody ever told you that?

What? Nice pipes? No. Like my voice? Yeah. Hell no. I'm not a nice pipes guy. Too much of a face for TV guy, huh?

Yeah, it's a good thing you're on radio. That's the worst part of doing anything by a microphone. It's a good thing they can't see your face, right? Dude, and like, so me and Ben, you know, used to work at the same radio station for a while. And, like, people would always do that to him. And I'm like, the joke doesn't work when he's obviously a very good look. Like, but it doesn't, it doesn't land.

That makes no sense. Oh, geez, these two. Face for radio. Am I right? Am I right? Are you talking about yourself, fat ass? Get some jeans that fit. I mean, sorry.

What's up? Are we going? Oh, we've been going. We're all, like, good on the cameras and everything? Yeah, Gucci. Wow. Nice, dude. So I had a mini panic attack this morning when I was heading over to the pod studio, Wave 1, and I didn't have a car. Oh, that'll happen.

You ever do that where you, like, parked your car in a different place? And you're like, holy shit. There's been a couple times I leave my car here. And I just, like, get a ride home. And I wake up in the morning. I'm just like, la-da-de-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, holy fuck. You've got to walk five miles to my car now.

No, wake up with no clue where your car is. Yeah, that'll get you. Shame, dude. So where is it? So Sunday night, such a Sunday night thing. It was like 9.30. I was just by myself and I was so hungry.

Needlers was closed for some reason. So I was like, I'm going to Taco Bell. Who is this man? The restaurants were closed. It was just like the only, this is the only good option because downtown everything closed at fucking 5 p.m. Yeah, everybody wants to give Chick-fil-A shit for being closed on Sunday.

But I'm like, you guys open it. one and close at four. Shut the fuck up. No, seriously. Banks closing at five is the new thing I hate. Not the new thing, but just the thing I hate. Like, why?

How about banks taking a two hour lunch? Open at 10. They're like, yeah, from 1130 to 2, we'll be on lunch. And then we close at 5. I'm like, well, never cash in this check. What are you guys doing over there? That's so taxing. Are you guys counting by a hand?

Jesus Christ. 67, 67, they have no calculators. fucking licking their fingers. Licking their finger raw. Fuck. Fuck. Two hour lunch break. Where are you going?

Just going over to the local BWs. South Bend. All right. Okay. So I went to talk about car wouldn't start. I was like, what? At Taco Bell? No, no, no.

In front of Starbucks, parked outside my apartment. In my driveway. It's my favorite thing to do. When somebody's like in that street, I'm like, get out of my driveway. I said it so many times. So lame. But yeah,

car wouldn't start. So I was like, what the fuck? So I was just dealing with that all day yesterday. So, yeah, I had old coach P come over. Had to jump the car

in front of Starbucks. That was fun. Wow. See, that just hit me. I'm a dad now, and I'm going to have to do that for the rest of my life,

you know? Have the kid call me up. Hey, better look up a how-to video. And I won't have to because I don't know out. Riley's going to be doing that shit. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever had to change at Hell no. Have you ever like, what do you do when you have to? Nope. Just walk. Call Allstate or, yeah, get a bird scooter, whatever the hell. I don't know. Have you bird scooter like that before?

Bro, we were driving downtown, like, after the Colts game, we were coming home, and it was probably like, I don't know, 5.30. It was this past Sunday. And so I'm thinking, oh, we'll be all right. Like, it's been close to an hour after the game. Like, traffic's probably died down. So wrong. Chaos.

Absolutely chaos. Even heavier traffic. Dude's riding bird scooters literally on the opposite side of the road. Just freewheeling? I'm like, is this the end of the world? No rules on a Colts game day. Downtown.

It's insane. Yeah, so he sat in that for a while. That was terrible. So you're at the Colts game. Burby boy. Burpee boy. I love you, burpee boy. Whoa.

You got the Colts game and the classic soccer jersey. It makes sense. Yeah, every single time. I'm like, what do I wear? I'm running out of soccer jerseysies. you know what you need to start to do you just need to start dressing like your dad khaki's dress shirt yeah i almost wore a polo and jeans i have all the options of things i was

gonna wear to the colds game you want i do yeah actually where are we at uh where are we at that's a that's a tough choice you know you gotta start we're going here kind of kind of kind of NFL street vibe holy geez so NFL street that's what that's this is camo pants it looks like camo cargo pants james jeremy Jersey. Jeremy Shockey NFL Street. Literally running off of a brick wall, slamming somebody in there. What's up, dude? Yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, this is like, I'm glad you didn't do this because this would be jumping shark for you. That's the dad fit that I just thought of. This would be jumping shark for you. I have an LA polo, like Dodgers polo that I got like from some like weird, it's like detected. Lids outlet. It was defected somehow. And it was like five bucks. I was like, I can turn it into something. Yep. Okay. Yeah. That's something that I would wear. Definitely not for you. I'm glad you didn't go that way. Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, you got that jacket. Did they send that shit to you? They did. Yeah. That's sick. Homefield? Yep. The Colts sent me a bunch of stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, not really. You're like, never going to wear it, especially not to a game. Why would I? No way. I'd wear that to like go to Walgreens on like Christmas Eve. just so the guy can be like, yeah, I don't know what they're doing with Rike. And you're like, yeah, fuck if I now. Right. All right. So those are, are cargo pants making a comeback?

Oh, yeah. Really? They are. Okay. The only reason I know that is from the guys on FYI. And they show me how to dress. I like cargo, I always liked cargo pants. I was like, these look cool to me.

I don't know. Such a relief. Yeah. Anyways. No more jeans. It's like, it's just sweats. Cargo pants with the Colts homefield jacket. very sick. Yeah, they hit me up too, and they were like, we'd love to. I was like, I'm a diehard

Steelers fan. Wow, you're not just saying, yeah. I would say yes to everything. Yeah, I know, but I would feel so like, I don't know. Okay, so we go to another pair. This is Adam Sandler right here. I would have gone with this. Yeah, that was close. Like some, like baggy, almost, it looks like construction worker type of, like, cargo navy blue pants with the Dodgers blue shirt, backwards hat. Kind of felt like I just got off work at like Jiffy Loob, though. Okay. Another soccer jersey with the Adam Sandler Cargo Pants again. Oh my God, dude.

Is this what you finally settled on? That's what I settled on. All right. Just going all black for the blue on blue Titans Colts game. Don't blame you. Yeah. It's cool. It's cool.

I've already started to think about what I'm going to wear for Monday night football. No. Steeler's Colts. What do you? Yeah, I mean, we're only like a month and a half away from it. Yeah, it's not too bad. You rocking a jersey? Well, now that my boy, K.P.

check the hat picketsburg now that he's the the starter taken over for hopefully the next like 15 years yeah

I might might be ordering an eight jersey I think you need to get a pit jersey like his college oh a pit picket jersey

yeah that's that I think that's the coolest thing when people wear like their college you know whoever is it like they like on their NFL team their college jersey because it's not so on the nose but it's like

pit's blue So I don't want to be rocking blue to the Colts game. Fucking Budlight Blue Zone. The people know, man. The people know. Especially at a Colts game. They're like, oh, is he? Oh, dude.

You know, you'll get that. Yeah. I don't know. No, I'll probably just go black eight, black hat and just be like, let's ride. Just like you. Let's run. Steed the nation. Like you're deciding on what to wear.

Probably go black eight, black hat. Let's ride. Already now. Black cargo pants. I need to get some. Where do you get those from? H&M? Old Navy? Those are from H&M.

They're like 30 bucks. H&M's nice, man. Jeez. You want to, yeah, you want to know how far out of touch you are, just go into an H&M. I'm like, no. Wait a second. Every time I go in any store like that, I'm like, I need all this stuff. Yeah, right, right.

But then it's getting to the point for, like, me and you, are we like, well, it's coming back, but are we like, do we just accept and move on to the next point of our life? Right? Do we not keep going down to that? We're just like, you know what? that's for them. This over here is for us. Yeah.

That's a tough. It's a tough one to swallow, man. But at some point, that's why I feel like I don't want to dress old though. Right. But like at the same time, you don't want to be old guy dressing too young. Yeah, there's a line there.

I think you'll get. But you're like what, 35 and you look like, you know, 26. You do have a birthday coming up, though. I forgot about 32. Hey, Edronier. Eddry. ever get back to you on those shirts you made I actually remember that

he was like y'all come down here in Miami we can do the podcast I was like are you serious I was like I didn't think this was you even ran your account bro we were like looking at it because like your sister lived in Miami at the time where I were like maybe we could like we go down there yeah a little day podcast trip we can bring equipment we're such idiots have no money at all either one of us we're like yeah we can like you know hop on a flight quick day

one day flight to my Miami. Stay at your sisters. Big dreams. Nobody's listening. Edron totally ghost. It's never happened. No way. I like that would ever happen. You'd be like, oh shit, they really came? Fuck that. Damn it. These two fucking white guys. What would we have asked him? I thought that was my car right there. Sorry, that scared me. The lights were blinking.

I was like, wait a second. Because I did park there, and then when you need me to come pick you up, because I didn't know you didn't have a car, just like you didn't know you didn't have a car. I had to give up a prime parking space to then go get you. Yeah, that was a jerky reaction by me too. I could have just walked here, and it probably would have been fine. You could have, but, you know, who knows with you and how many, you know, Instagram stories and shit you'll find it take. And it's like 15 minutes later, we're like, where the hell has been?

That's funny. They'll hop in and get them. It'd be fine, you know. Somebody said that guys dress like the best year of their life until they die. Hmm. Like, I don't know. Okay. Senior year in high school, that's just how you dress until you're dead. Okay. I'm picking that up. I'm feeling like because I've had a pretty steady style for probably about six years now.

You know, I haven't changed it up too much. Maybe I'll get a little wild, you know, like a shirt or a pair of shoes. And I'm like, oh, I'm kind of, you stay pretty neutral. Kind of showing out here. But yeah, I do, I do stay pretty neutral. And you always had like, you'll bring something out occasionally like that one time we went to the comedy show and you just busted a turtleneck. I was like, Joey has that in his bag. Joey has that in his bag. Joey's got a little bit of fashion. Dude, people have sprinkled in. What is what people hating on turtlenex so much?

Turtlenecks from like now until February are dope. No, nobody hates on turtlenex, but you just did it before the turtlenex got popular. I don't know, man. You were giving me a hard. I'll never forget that. I got out of the car and you were like, oh, turtle necks. I was like, you think it? I was like, that's bold.

I was like, damn. I respected it, but I was like, I just haven't seen a turtleneck out in the wild. My whole family, everybody, they all hated the turtleneck. They were like, but now? They were like sneaking to get the turtleneck into the goodwill bag, you know, because, like, you know, they're cleaning out the closets and they wouldn't even ask about my turtle neck. They just throw it in there. I'm going to be taking out that turtleneck. No, you need it now.

Turtlenecks out. They're all about it, aren't they? No, they still want to be there. Still? No. Geez. Anybody puts on a turlneck. I'll fuck them.

I mean, literally. Kiss him. Turnal neck. Look at this, dude. Oh, sorry. Those Long's donuts? The boy brought the donut for the construction team for everybody who's not watching what we're watching right now. Everyone in the world.

Play by play. Street, play by play. Construction homies right outside the window. They're on a little, looks like a 15-hour break or the start of it. And he brought donuts, bro. Look how happy. is. Isn't that funny? Like, if you're late to work, you can just pick up donuts and show up

at work. Everybody's like, oh! Well, that's why you were late. It's just a fucking smoke bomb at work. No one knows. That's why you were, you were, that's such a nice gesture. I was thinking of you guys. Just just a, you're late every day, just bring donuts for fucking two years straight.

Well, I mean, breakfast is served. Get the breakfast guy. Yeah, that's, uh, ladies and gentlemen, you've heard a polite cat calling Now Here's Street Play-by-Play with Joy Joy and Benny Boy. Joy and Minnie Boy. New name of the show. All I've been thinking about is the YouTube video where we throw donuts as somebody, though.

It's in the works. Yeah. Not somebody, everybody. The whole, just anybody who walks by. Can they hear us? They're really acting like they can. They're just totally plain and neutral. Yeah, it is.

weird though, man. Like, I'm wearing the Pickensburg hat because I'm excited about the new era. But it's like this is the first time in my life that I've been buddies with a starting quarterback of an NFL team, especially my favorite team. Long time coming. And it's a very weird experience.

Why? It's a very weird existence. You guys like DM every week? Yeah, I mean, I talked to... Good game? I talked to Kenny pretty regularly. Yeah. But it's just it's exciting, but it's nerve-wracking as hell. Because you know, for everybody,

your whole life, right? Like, you don't really know these people. They're just guys and helmets of your favorite team. Like, you want you. But it's like, I know. Now you're part of his life. Yeah, it's like, I know,

Kenney. You know, he tries a picture like, it was, is this something I said? It's very weird. Like, when he first came in, I was nervous,

like, like a family member or something just because I was like, I want him to do well because I want him to do well from my team, so we do well, right? But also because I,

don't want him to feel bad or people to get on him because I know them personally, you know? Yeah, that's a, that's weird. And like to think back like 10 years ago, you know, know the starting quarterback for the Steelers and it's like, oh, shit, that's crazy. Well, it was a very weird Sunday, very emotional, very, a lot of things going on in the head in the mind, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, was hoping you want to bring it up. He knew I was going to do it.

Oh shit. So what did you say to him? No, I didn't. See, it's the thing that. I was like, I give him space. L. I give him space, but also on top of that, though, was like, I've formed, you know what I mean? Like, I got to know Mitch Trubisky over the summer in this past year.

And so now. So now both of them like, you talk to him? Kenny's getting bench or Mitch is getting bench for Kenny. And so now I feel bad for Mitch because I'm like, you know, he's a person. Got a son like me. You got to stop talking to him, man. That's tough, dude. You got to get out of there while you can.

It's a weird predicament. That's a lot. You've got two girlfriends on the Steelers. Oh, shit. Oh, that sucks. Quarterback room. They're, like, see the phone light up. Who is it?

Says Pizza Hut. Weird name. It says J.J's. don't answer. Stop talking to him. Joey hit you up again? Yeah. Yeah, he was hitting me up, but then I got benched and so he stopped and so it was good.

I was glad I got benched, so I stopped talking to him. Big flex. Big flex. How was the haunted house? Oh, my God, dude. All right, so. What goggles were you wearing? I don't know.

I mean, I went there for content and I was like, okay, what do we, we're trying to strategize for the video. Content, content, content, content. Going to a haunted house. I was like, all right, I think I'd just try to find the ghost. So I think I'm like a ghost hunter. Like that, this is the basis for the haunted house. Yeah, usually works out well. They usually find a lot of ghosts.

Yeah. So, all right. So I'm like, okay, I need a ghost hunter. I need to look the part. So we just went in the prop closet back here. It'll wave one. Got some goggles. Got a cult gun.

Just one in there. Got a little temperature gauge that doesn't work. Is it supposed to be like it's when it's cooler, when it's colder in the room, that means like spirits are in there? Oh, yeah. Like, are you basing that just off six cents or is that? You think I've seen that? I'm going in here, raw, bro. Zero knowledge.

We take a little tour to the house. Dude, this is so funny, by the way. Two level. Basement, main floor, upstairs attic. Triple-decker, quadruple-decker. Keep in mind, my dad's there. And this is something he would never do in real life. So right when we get, dude, my dad's being hilarious because he doesn't give a fuck.

Even if there's 15,000 ghosts in this house that could, like, rip him apart. He doesn't give a shit. He was like, good. Put me out of my misery. Seriously. Dude, she was like, okay, be good. Put your hand on the railing when you're going upstairs because somebody died on the stairwell and you can get like thrown around. My dad was like, like it's a roller coaster.

Bro, he was like, ooh, dude, it's just the whole time is so funny. Like, okay, the tour guide left and we can explore the house and do whatever we need to do. My dad sits on the couch, like where the, there's a there's a ghost there called Big Black. There's like this black like figure that's supposed to be like super like dangerous, like well known. my dad sits in his room and gets on the ESPN ad. He's like, hey, man. Starts taking a nap. He wants to see the college football scores too.

Come on. We're like, we're like, flashlighting the stairs, like looking at this picture of this like demon. My dad's like, hey, did you see Michigan one? Yeah, it was on the road too. It's a big one.

He's still a big Michigan guy? Oh my God. For sure. Now the lions are like, Are the lions okay now? No, they're one and three. Oh, really? Yeah, they suck.

Yeah. But, like, they kind of got, like, a little, you know, hard knocks. They were excited about them. I thought they're, like, three and oh or some shit. I want to get your dad, like, in one of those old-school Thanksgiving Day, like a lion's John Kittner, Jersey. No, dude, the Lions jersey. The Lions jersey, we all know and love Charlie Batch.

Every team. But, you know what I'm saying? Just like that plain ass. Kitna. fucking blue one with nothing on. Duck tape gray. Yeah, exactly.

Just put the duct tape three on there and Kittina on the back. Kittna, what a whatever. What a whatever quarterback. John Kittna is like the poor man's Brett Farr. We keep going back to him, but that's why wouldn't we? The Brett Farrv podcast.

Let's see how many episodes we can record mentioning Brett Farr. Did we in the first one? Three for three. Was that the first one? The first one was a Brett Favre special, bro. Set it all. Absolutely. Dude.

Fourth episode coming up? We need to have like a celebration for. Shit. Yeah. This is good. So it was all right. You think your dad was playing that way though? Because he was like, you know, when people go do a scary thing and they like to act like they're not scared, it's like a front.

You know what I mean? No. Like when you're in middle school or high school, right? And you were like to, like, you would go and like stand in a room or like stand face to face with a dude. with the chainsaw second mention of that guy too. Everybody'd be like

oh my god, right and like deep down you're sweating like you're so terrified but you're like I mean what go on you know the guy that always gets

killed in every scary movie yeah the one that's like yeah fuck this place he's in a wood chipper like two minutes later always the dude who has a dad

who's like a lawyer he's always wearing he did a video on this but he's always wearing like a letter jacket that guy he's dead dead on science

There's two characters that happen in every scary movie, and I've done videos on both of them. One, the jock who has an open house that doesn't believe in what's going on. What are you scared of them? Do you think he's going to get you? And then it gets his throat slit three seconds later. And then there's a radio DJ that's just like randomly the narrator throughout the movie until he gets stabbed like a third of the way through. You know what I mean? The radio DJ is sitting there, it's like, hey, you ghost and ghouls, you tricks and witches.

Don't I mean Don't forget the Sheriff's Curfew for tonight But hey I say we You know Like why is the DJ Like what does he

He's just a narrator He's just setting the scene Yeah And every scary movie Those two guys Rebick's scary movie viewer Like when you're high school Middle school

When you know Have a girl over Go to a girl's house Go to the movie Scary movie Hold their hand That shit scary movies were like a thrill you know

you need that you need that you need that adrenaline but because there's nothing I mean it feels like you shouldn't be watching it so you so that's like the thrill I guess because it's like rated R and you're like 14 did you ever have group scary movie viewings that's where it was at but they always fell asleep

and I'm the guy during movies like if I'm no it was always like me and fucking like four four dudes watching like the Exorcist or something Or like the conjuring or like insidious. You'd be stuck alone because you can't go to sleep, but somehow they fell asleep 20 minutes in. So, you know, like one of your friends is like, oh, he's about to fall asleep.

He's out of the picture. Three guys left. One guy's like in and out, probably going to sleep a little bit like you can see his sleeping. And then you got your homie, your co-pilot for the movie there. Okay, we're in this thing together. And like I'm the guy,

if we're in a movie and we're locked in, like I'm asking questions. Because I feel like I missed a part. Oh, your question to ask you in a movie? If I'm locked in, if it's like, if it's like 1 a.m. And we're watching a scary movie. I'll be like, why did he?

And I'll be like, wait, what did he say earlier? And then you'd have to pause the movie and be like, oh, that's because. Dude, that's like fucking. Well, I just like, I need every piece to the puzzle. I know, but Rye will do the thing where it's like, we're five minutes into the movie. And, like, she'll be like, so is this like, does something bad happen to him? And you're like, that's the most general question for one of the main characters. I don't think I ask that.

No. Because it's going to ruin it no matter what. Yeah. I'm like, just watch the movie. Well, I just want to. five, ten minutes later. If I asked that, I don't need it answered. It's just one of those.

Like, why would they go in there? But I don't really need that answer. Sure, I'm all about, like, vocalizing, you know, commentating during the movie. But when it's the whole, like I said, rising at Tories. Do you think he'll die? Yeah, it'll, yeah, I'm like,

what am I? And I always know the ending. I'm like, what's a point? If I tell you that, it's over. Girls, girls can't wait, bro. Girls got to know. Girls got to know. Absolutely.

Three minutes in. Wait, so he's the main character, so I'm assuming... They don't like being left on the hook, dude. They need all the details up front. Yeah, dude, every guy, I feel like has had one of those experiences where, like, it was just him and the homies, like, not a lot going on in high school. Yeah. Right? You watch a terrifying, scary movie, and then, like, you know, you have to admit that, like, all three of you slept in the same bed that night because you're so terrified.

Dude. This is actually what's happening. So me and this dude... me and this dude watching this movie and I'm like I think it's the exorcist so it's a little confusing because it's kind of like

it's all over the place and it's old movie yeah it's old so I'm like this dude's smart as fuck too so he knows more shit than me so I'm like asking him stuff Danny Allen dude he's like straight A's

I'm like he knows the plot line better than me just by yeah just by like hearing it and so I'm asking him questions and he starts kind of like dozing off and I'm like fuck there goes my question guy Oh, no.

So he's like, and then, like, I'm getting into it. Some scary, and I look, and I'm like, oh, my, he's dead asleep. So it's just me solo watching The Exorcist in like a scary, like, bonus room of a house. Bonus room? So rich. Yeah, here's a room where you guys just go fucking do whatever you want. It was the craziest thing. So we went over to this kid's, this dude, Danny's every, all the time.

This friend growing up. Cool neighborhood. Cool neighborhood. Best neighborhood. Trick or treat neighborhood. Like the one you'd pick. Shracher. Oh, yeah.

Gotta go to Danny's Shurgettreat. And so they're getting another garage put in their house, which is like, wow, that's amazing. Like, imagine.

Like, hey, we just want another garage. Tack it on the side. So they get another garage. And then he's like, oh, yeah, there's a, well,

the garage has to, like, match the house. So there's another story. They're going to put it on top of it. And we're just going to call it the bonus room and we're going to have, like, a big screen TV

and a computer in there. I was like, never leaving your house. I'm fucking 12. I'm like, See you tomorrow. Uh-huh. So, yeah, we would watch scary movies and stuff up there.

So I'm just up in there watching The Exorcist. No help. Everybody's passed out. You have no idea what's going on. And you're on your own terrified. That's a bad comment. And I don't know how to work the remote. Oh, so when it's over, it's just the same scary intro, like, menu.

Yeah, I can't pause it because I don't know where the remote is. I don't want to like wake people up. Like, he's remote under you? Hey, bro, roll over. Waking the people up. So pissed. Yeah, and you're right. So, dude, I hate waking up.

up during credits too. That's my hell. Depressing. Because the credits are so loud. And you're like, ah. So loud. It's over. Everybody else is asleep.

The sleepover is done. You know you got to get up and go to church in the morning. Fuck. It's all fucked up. And so I'm scared. We go to sleep. I wake up. I'm literally holding Danny like this.

We're both 12. Literally wake up like this and we're like, oh shit. I'm just like kind of roll over and pretend it never happened. Then the next morning is like, do you remember when I was like, Yeah. No, you're like, no? What? No.

I was like, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, dude, but you ever do like the, it'd be a group of girls, group of guys, you're probably like 14. You go over to the cool parent house that would like let you all go down in the basement. Are you going to be that house? It's a good question, man. You start to think about all these different things. Like, when you become, you know, I hate to be that guy, but like literally the Today Show was on this morning before I came over here. and they had one of those segments on

where they have an author of a book about like how to cope with your struggling teenager. And I was like, yeah, this is probably good. I should check. I should like take notes on this just to, that'll happen one day. So I need to like know how to,

you know what I mean? 14 years early. Right. So I, yeah, you think about all that kind of stuff. You know, you really do. I caught myself.

I was like, this is ridiculous. He literally is shitting himself right now. But so am I. I think so, man. Because that was my house. Yeah, you were the cool house? Yeah, I guess you do what your, like, parents did.

When I was in high school... You don't want to be the house that everybody goes to every weekend, though. That gets kind of played. Yeah, but it's, again, I'm like, if you're going to be doing nefarious things, nefarious. How about that? If you're going to be doing nefarious things, I'd rather be under my roof and, like, my supervision than just, like, out on fucking stop 11, you know? Stop 11 Thompson. No, but I get that.

But, like, you know, you have, like, a couple of the people who are dating. There's, like, the one person, the one guy there who, like, all the girls sing is funny and all the guys think is funny. But the girls definitely don't want to date them. And then, you know, it's probably the girl version of that, too, where, like, you're trying to hook them up. But, like, they're just not into it too. You know what I mean? They're just not looking for that, yeah. And then you're on a scary movie like that.

And, like, the couples get together. And it's, like, you know, cuddle. So, weird. So I could never pay it. I could never do two things at once there. when you got a girl, you're trying to, like, you know, date. He can't pay attention in the movie. Right.

How many movies have we, a lot of guys already probably sat through, where you literally have no recollection of anything that happened, not because you were, like, getting it on or making out, but, like, all you could think about is just like, are my hands too sweaty? What if she can, like, smell my armpit? Fuck. It's a whole thing.

Is her neck uncomfortable? She has to be uncomfortable. Like, when we're uncomfortable, they're uncomfortable, right? I think about that. But also, like, it's so much more comfortable to be the guy cuddling than the girl. The girl, you have to be like...

It's so awkward, dude. And the guy's just... We're literally just, like you just did. We're laying back on my arm there. I'll never forget. I was just pushing through it in a movie theater one time. Oh, the first arm. That is an experience that you just never...

Because you're happy, but you're like, halfway through, you're like, fuck. This is annoying. I know. The armpits definitely sweating, and you can tell that her neck is kind of, like, cranked forward. But you're both like, they mean well, you know what I mean? Like, you know you have to do it, right?

Yeah. I remember the first time that happened for me, I was 13 at a movie with a group of Gridiron Gang with a group. Don't ask me what happened. I know it was about a gang that played football with the Rock as their coach. That's all I remember, because all I was focused on the first probably 25 minutes of the movie, It was like, when am I going to make the move to put the arm around? And then once I finally did that, and I didn't do the yawn thing, I just fucking, I just readjusted it and I just went for it.

But once I finally did that. What did you say? I didn't say nothing, man. That's a funny, that's, of course, the weird, awkward seventh grade fucking pimply. You didn't say anything after? After, I mean, like, you know, you're just like walking out. Like, hey, I'll be on AIM later. Okay, cool, peace.

No, after you put the arm on, like before, you didn't set up to put the arm around. No. But after you put the armor on, what did you say after? I just not acknowledge it. I didn't acknowledge it. Arms around. I'm here. I had to say something.

So that what you? What do you? Oh my God. I don't want to know. I got it. I can't remember, but I was probably like, you good? The most, the way to make sure that the chick is definitely not good. You're right?

She's definitely not. Anyone? Oh, shit. You good? Strictly just asking that for your own mental health. What if she said? No, I'd be like, all right, bye. Leaves.

Yeah, dude, sat there from about the 28, 30-minute mark. Arm like this, starting to get cramp in my shoulder, sweaty armpits. No, she hates it. No, I hate it, but I'm riding this thing out, man. I'm like, I'm here. Because if you move or adjust, you might never get back to where you were. Right. If you give your arm a break, like, then you...

That is a very vivid experience in the coming of age of a young. young straight male. Where were you? What movie were you watching when you put your arm around a girl for the first time? Everybody knows. Long came Polly. In the theater? Oh, yeah.

Jesus, you're old. Eighth grade, bro. That's a funny one, though. Grit Iron Gang was intense and, like, emotional and sad. I wouldn't know. Think I was thinking about that? I had no clue was happening in that movie. You're like, that's hilarious.

In my head was just like, are you going to kiss her? Are you going to kiss her? Are you going to kiss her? Are you going to kiss her? And in her head, she's like, please don't fucking kiss. Please don't even just get your arm off of me. How do you kiss in a movie theater? Like, at what point in the movie?

And you always had a friend that was like just making out. I'm like, how are you so smooth with it? Like, when do you do it? Like, what? How do you do it? When do you do it, you just fucking turn their head? Also, the movie's far too bright. Like, everybody in the, you know,

When you're watching a TV show or a movie, right, when you're watching a TV show or a movie, it's like, oh, it's so dark and no one knows. So you just, um, num, num, num, num, but when you're in the movie theater, you're like, that's fucking in my living room, basically. That's a big, that's a big light. There's a giant light. There's people right behind me. They can see everything.

You think, like, you're sitting smack dab in the middle of the movie. Just throw your leather jacket. Yeah. But, like, I always thought for a minute, like, dude, this is so stupid. But I always thought. I always thought when they were kissing on the movie That was the time to do it That was the time

I was like if there's gonna be a time to kiss the girls Probably when they're kissing right But that seems creepy now Why? Like oh they're making it out That looks good. Want to try it? When would you like credits?

Credits kiss? That's weird people are getting up No I think that makes sense Maybe when they're like dancing or something Yeah you match the moment If there's an emotional Yeah there's an emotional yeah there's emotional, if there's a romantic.

I think the kiss. It's like a killing scene. You're like, right, right, right. Yeah, long came Polly for you, Ben Stiller's shit is clogging the toilet and it's like water's overflowing. You're trying to go on the kids.

She's like, there's literally shit on the screen. I'd be like, damn it. So credits or? No. Oh, in the lobby? I think the play, if I could rewind it,

I think the play would be. arm around, push through it, maybe kiss goodbye at the end of the, like, leaving. See, but then you got to be cautious because then it's like her dad's picking her up. You're like, yeah. Not going to go in for the kiss on this 14-year-old girl

when her dad is right there. It might have to arcade it. Yeah. You got to do it inside before you go outside to the sidewalk pickup. Sidewalk pickup's a big deal. You got to get your hug in, though. Got to get the hug.

It's fine. No, but everybody's smooth with the hug. Been hugging since I was two years old. Hug, hug's tough. Hugs are big growing up, though. Hugs are big, but I'm saying is like,

there's a variety of different ways to go about the hug, especially now as you get older. And even then, like, I'm all about side hug. You got a side hug. No straight on hug. People,

shit on side hug. If you're straight on hugging, the ass has got to be out. What do you mean? You got to be. Oh, yeah, it's like a weird distance hug. That ass has got to be out if you're straight on.

The amount of times I've stepped on a girl's foot while hugging her. Really? Straight up. Hug. Face to face hug. Dude, I accidentally step on their foot every time. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And then it's like a funny hug.

Well, it works out sometimes, but half the time they don't say anything because they're like, fuck. I just fucking fucked up their toenet, like their nails. Big toe nails. Totally ribbed off. a cartoon. Yeah. It happens every time. So I side hug it.

It seems normal. Dude, what's funny is that, I don't think my son is ever going to experience that. Think about 14 years from now. Like, that movie theater experience

ain't going to be happening. Yeah, it'll be something, though. It won't be a movie theater. It'll be something. I don't know. I'm just trying to, like, movie theaters are kind of...

Yeah, they're disgusting. Well, they're kind of dying. you know you want to go yeah I know I love the movies there's nothing like the experience but it's like I just saw September

was like the lowest fucking box office across the country and hey come out with good movies you know people are just like not liking I don't know

we'll see what happens movie theaters in the summer or it seems like where it's at so I feel like there's always a movie every summer that like yeah the summer

blockbuster yeah like Taco Bell pairs with it Mountain Dews and on it there's like a fucking Oh, the promotional

Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, those big... It's like on a base during an MLB game. I'm like, Jesus Christ, okay, I'll see it. Hey, what about the marketing

for that, that horror movie called Smile or whatever? Did you see that? Oh, yeah. That's smart. Very smart. Probably didn't take,

I mean, you know, had to pay for the seats right behind home plate, right? But at the Oakland A's, it was probably like $42. So, They pay them. Well,

well worth the return there. Do you want to come to the game? What do we do? That's what you call. People are calling our box office to come to a baseball game. I don't know what to do anymore. Never mind. Just give it to them.

Just give it to them. Don't even pay for it. I think we canceled the game. Dude, baseball games are so bad. People are like getting head, like in the top row now. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ.

That's wild. That's some really. Why did I not think it was that weird? I was like, yeah, you didn't think this was going to happen? It's like, you know, it's like the movie theater is like the, you know, people do stuff in the movie theater. Well, especially at baseball games because, you know, now in September or October, when your team is like totally out of it, there's like 1,200 people at the game, literally.

So if you just go up to the 400 levels, there's no, literally no one up there. Murder up there, real. So I guess it's not that surprising. But at the same time, like, you just really looking for an adrenaline rush? Like that's... Up here? So weird. Or is this like a thing you guys are into?

Like you really want to... I don't know. Whatever. But yeah, smile. You got to see it? No. Ooh. I might just because the like marketing behind it.

It's scary movie stuff. No, I won't ever see it. I want to ever see it. You ever see any of the Halloweens? Michael Myers. I don't think I have. Because they all seem really old. The first one did come out in 1978.

But it's creepy. when it's older almost because it's like, ew, it's all daylight shit. Like, I think stuff's scarier in the daylight because it's like, you don't expect it. Like, if I saw Michael Myers, like, behind a truck right there, like putting his, like, I'd be like, oh, God, if I saw him at night, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, it's his thing. Yeah, I mean, yeah. So what he does. But in the day, like, there's, I think there's a scene in that movie where he, like, pops behind a fence. A bush. Yeah, and you're like, oh, shit, it's going down. Like, that's weird to me. It is one of the scariest scenes.

Also, when she looks out the window and he's just like, you're talking last week about the laundry hanging up on the lines. He's literally just like in the laundry lines. All right, yeah. That'll get me fucked up. So if you, like, had a lady, though, right? I don't know if you do or not currently, but let's just say you do. Yeah.

I don't know. And she's like, you want to, hey, let's do a scary movie night. Uh-huh. I'd be all in. You'd be all in? Oh, yeah. Were you be in for a double feature? Like two movies?

What time we start in? It gets pretty dark pretty early now in October. Let's say it's a 7.30 kick for the first. Actually, that's crazy because no, I don't think a girl can make it through two movies. But if she's like about it and she's like, we're watching two movies tonight, I'll bring the popcorn, bitch. Scary movies, let's do it. I'm like, let's go. I'm down.

Yeah, cool night. Yeah. Definitely. I'm down as well. Two movies in a row. I don't think I... You just ask me out. Yeah, definitely.

I'm in, too. I'm in too. What time? Are we doing this? So, 7.30 on Friday? Cool. Bring the extra buttered popcorn. What movies would we,

what me and my lady friend watch if we were to do that at 7 p.m. on Friday with popcorn? I'm thinking like kind of a newer age-scaring movie. 730, you know, to kind of warm it up and then you finish with the classic. So, you know, go John Carpenter's 1978 Halloween at about 930-ish. You know, you have a little bit of a break in between

to kind of use the restroom. Go down to brewburger if we have to. Not that it's going to be me and you doing this or anything. Grab a few brews. Come back up. Let's fucking finish her off. Uh-huh. Have some commentary during it, you know.

But what's the second movie? No, the second movie is that. So the first movie would be something like, I don't know, I saw it. You said Halloween, right? Yeah, the second movie would be Halloween. Oh. The first one would be like, what is it, black cell or black phone? There's a new one on Peacock.

Not Dolk Bowl. But you always go with the new one first. If you're doing a double feature, you go with the kind of newish one. Oh, you know what it is? Hocus Pocus, too. that's scary well it's a Halloween movie oh shit

I thought that was like a fun it's not scary but it's just like very in spirit you know what I mean yeah yeah that's good or you could do the opposite

you could do the real scary at first and you gotta wind down with the Disney hocus pocus you gotta bring the heat last I think okay

sounds good see there see there that's funny man Halloween, Halloween movies. Halloween movies really making it up and coming against Christmas movies.

I think Halloween movies are way above Christmas movies. Whoa, really? Yeah. Horror movies are a genre, dude. You're watching horror movies any day of the week throughout the year. Christmas movies, not that versatile. You're just watching during the holiday. You're not watching the Santa Claus during the spring.

I'm not watching hocus pocus during May either. You have it like scream or something? You can put that on whatever. That's true. I don't want to shit on Christmas movies. The versatility I will give you there. I don't want to run their name through the dirt. Also at the same time, you have to think there's like whole channel, like Hallmark.

It's basically just a network channel dedicated to Christmas movies. Nothing gets me. I never fucking watch them, but nothing gets me like the countdown, the Christmas countdown, or the Halloween countdown movie every night. Disney Channel. Free form, man. Yeah. They got the...

Oh, yeah, it used to be ABC family. Yeah. The 31 days of Halloween years ago. 31 haunted days of whatever. Yeah, they do that. That's my shit. You know what I hate it, though? Like last night, Ghostbusters

ran like three times in a row in the evening. I was like... The same movie? I was like, that's not like... I guess because they've got some kind of like scary ghost monster type of deal, but like that doesn't like... It's not like Halloween to me. No, it's just any weekend.

You know? That's an any weekend movie. Like, that'd be like in Christmas like when Christmas at Christmas time when like free form or whatever puts on like fucking like Toy Story 2 I'm like I mean oh that is a good comparison Toys no I don't it's like what this is such a filler obviously Or stretch a lot of those fillers like when it's like winter outside but it's not even about Christmas Yeah

Die hard Is it though? The diehard Christmas movie guy in the office. Wow. That guy can die. Up there, but the guy who only tells you about his bets and how they always lose. Love that guy.

That's all the same guy. It's just me if I didn't do comedy. Yeah. I'm the worst guy ever in real life. Real life me and the Clark Kent me is the worst. He's a parlay guy. Who are you if you're normal guy? See, yeah, outside of my like comedy and...

So if you didn't do any of the shit you like doing, who are you? Are you just like... You know, I am? A guy that gets in a fight at like a bar. No, no. That was old in me. That's still you. Growing up.

Moulinard is Moulinard. No. I'm like... Oh, I'm so married. I'm like guy that golfs multiple times a week and then like, It's super weirdly into his baseball team to where, like, he follows every transaction and knows every minor league player and, like, keeps up with the farm system. Oh, my God. You know, like, lives in, like, and his bio has, like, at Cubs, like, as part of, like, who he is.

Identity. Dude, that's so many, like, journalists and stuff. That guy is interesting to talk to because you run into, like, people like that all the time. I like sports. They'll be covering, like, you know, what's going on. crane, but then, like, they're like, got to keep up with my Mets. They're like, it's my release. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, the worst release of all time. That's, that's, that's me. It's just like, yeah, guy who's playing golf talking business a lot, and then my whole entire other side of my personality is a baseball team that I follow. Fly the W! Every time. Every, like, couple days on Twitter, fly the W. I'm like, okay, Joey.

hashtag fly the W with the gif of the flag waving. I think I'm married and I think I'm a sports, like, journalist or something, if I'm not me. I do want to write a TV show or a movie about, like, someone like you based on you about how going, like trying to be in the sports reporting world, but you're just like, this is so fucked up. Right.

This is so weird. I think that still needs it. The sports world needs that. Because when you're talking about, yeah, it's just like you fitting into that. wild. You're just trying to talk about the colds and halfway through. You're just like, oh my God, I don't give a fuck.

Just trying so hard to care about like the cornyck situation. They all suck. Just giving up halfway through, having a meltdown on air. We'll be right back. That's pretty much what happened when we were hosting for Jersey Johnny a few years ago and I was like, yeah, come with me and do it.

I'm like trying to get you to talk about sports, bro. We kind of had it rolling there for a couple weeks. I was like, all right, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, who you got? You're like, uh, give a Sooner's. For no reason, just because I knew their nickname. I think, I think, uh, I think they, I think they got it going. I think, um, I think they'll run the table, just pulling out of any type of, like, cliche. All that shit.

Hell yeah. All right, man. Yeah. That the show? The show. The Halloween movie breakdown? The movie theater. The one you never.

forget the arm around? Where were you when? Hashtag Never Forget when you put your arm around a girl for the first time. In a movie. Name that movie. I would love to see people's

responses to that and their stories because everybody's got the story. Most relatable thing of all time. No titter cuff. Gone. These guys. These guys. Thanks for listening. See you next week.