THESE GUYS! - I’ll eat 64 walking tacos

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

🎟️ THESE GUYS LIVE CHICAGO 12/22 https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/40421352/these-guys-special-event-chicago-zanies-chicago?🍻FOLLOW TG ON IG  https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslol/📬 Email the Clubhouse [e-mail]🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809 🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/Sacramento, CA - Dec 4Phoenix, AZ - Dec 13-14

Like we've been playing hide and seek at my antas. You've got to remember, hey, that tiger got let out at the zoo. I'm like, how many times does this tiger get let out like every three years? Because this has been happening. Like, how many tigers you guys got? You guys had somebody. I don't even think you guys have a zoo. They're in like small town, Michigan.

I don't think you guys have a zoo for real. Not bad for a fat guy. TG 153. 153. Live from Joe's basement. Joe's basement. Not Joey. He texted me and you go, Joe's basement?

I know. I know that was a little confusing. You're buying into the no-why? No, no. Yeah, that's what I thought. I was like, he's really running this bit. Wow. I came back to haunt me there, but, uh, no, remember Bucca de Bepo?

Joe's basement. Oh. I don't remember. Yeah. Anyways. Really, really good cheesecake, though. Bucca de Bepo. I don't even think they're a thing anymore, are they?

They seem to only be kept in business. about the same five families. Oh. There's a couple. Might be laundering money. That's fine. Who's not? Still never know what it means.

That's a front. It's a front for laundering money. Every place it's kind of almost out of business. Dude, money laundering. Metress firm. White Castle. Who's gone? I go to White Castle.

I don't. Never have. You're lying. Sort of got. Not one time. Not one time. And even one time we had like, I took German in high school and we'd have, you know,

foreign language class would always have like parties. Like half the, it seemed like half the time we were doing anything. It was a party. Some dude brought in White Castle for, dude, he just came in. He was like this kid that was there half the time.

Like when I was wild seniors, like didn't play sports, you're like, what is your deal, but nobody cared about him. But he was just always doing whatever he wanted. I swear I never. And dude,

we were having a party, all the stuff set up. Like everybody was like halfway through the class. He just comes in late, probably from White Castle throws a crave case on the desk everybody just scream

the whole classroom is like White Castle for like two and a half year didn't even have one then man those little chicken rings though that's something I mean

I know we turn everything in the content but that might have to first time at White Castle your first time at White Castle I just two crinkle fries hanging out of your nose

thumbnail I had to come with me to Valentine's Day at White Castle they're having an event. We only make videos with thumbnails. That's my whole purpose.

It used to be the opposite. I hate thumbnails. Now I'm like, dude, can I cross my eyes? Actually, I want to just do this video so we can make a thumbnail of it.

Fill my mouth with ketchup like that. He's not watching it. I know. I'm clicking. Come on. First time at White Castle. TG-153. These guys live,

1222. Less than three months now. We're going to be in October. October, baby. Halloween's over. So it might as well get ready for Christmas in Chicago. Trying to pick out my fit today.

Every time I'm like doing something I need to be doing, I'm always like, should I just buy something for DJ Live? Monday, December 22nd, Zanis tickets on sale now. It's going to be this. We're in person if you can't tell. YouTube, these guys, L.O.L. Check us out. But yeah, you're going to be hanging with these guys and having a good old time. That's right. Get your tickies below.

Bennypolicy.com. Go to the Zanis website. I'll see you soon, babe. See you there. Did you ever, when you were taking classes in media and stuff in college for media, you took those classes, right? You studied that or did you not? I think I did. I don't know.

I can't forget. It was like 25 years ago. Oh, my God. Let's see. It's October's year. You're going to be, what, 43? I'll be 60. Yeah, bro, they didn't even have iPhones when I was in college.

But when I was in college and we were studying television. Television, shut the fuck. I mean, that's what it was called. You had a class where you do like practice for bantering. No way. No, I never took that class. Like, you know how news anchors, they have to in between segments where you can tell and they kind of look at each other. They do the, if they're looking at the camera, you know, and they're looking at the camera, you know,

and they say, luckily he was found safe and sound. And then they look to their, their anchor. And then he goes. And then they have to kind of back and forth for sometimes 20 seconds, sometimes like a minute. You can always kind of tell because when they're going real long, which is like 40 seconds in this time, they're really starting to struggle.

Oh, no. If robots take any jobs, just let it be news. They're already taking them. They're robots already. Exactly. Just give me a hologram of anybody. And you can pick who the hologram is. It'd be so sick.

Brett Farb. How come Brett Farv is literally the news anchor every time I turn on the TV? You're just so into the news. Brett Farf the last eight times. And then Mark McGuire? Who is that? Job of the Hut does all the food segments. Dude.

That'd be perfect. Instead of some like, hey. I just got me thinking. How is there not a coffee place called Jaba's house? There's got to be. I don't know. My phone's almost dead. Coffee place called Jaba's house.

It's the inside is themed like Jabas Palace. Hey, they spell it? J.A. BBA.A. Come on, baby. There probably is one. Java coffee.

It's everything you never knew. You always want to shut up. No. No, there's really nothing like that. Oh, there we go. So not only we have in Clubhouse Bar. Um, but then I'm opening Java's house. Star Wars coffee shop.

Yeah, Java's house next to it. Dude, that would be so sick. It's right there in front of you. Anyways. Um, not that we want to just do that. But instead of following our dreams, but that is my dream. Okay.

That's the end goal. This is the only reason I do all this shit is to be able to do something like that. Yeah, true. Um, but yeah, that was actually something that you, would have you practice. Banter. Practicing banter. Like, hey, you mean just talking to somebody?

Hey, what if you just said, hey, just act like the cameras aren't there and talk to him like a normal person? You can't, dude. Because you have to talk like this. He was later found unharmed. Well, that is great news to hear that. I'm really glad he was found. He was okay. His family.

Right. Because it's tough sometimes. You would hate to. have that situation unfold in your house. Oh my god, in my house that I could not even imagine. Laugh at something that isn't funny.

That's the next thing. So tense in there, bro. Yeah. Yeah, banter. Banta. It sounds like the name of a linebacker. Bantor!

Bantor from the corner. It's good. Yes. Dude, every time I hear a last name, I always, from the corner. Dude, any, any last name? From the corner! Quizno subs drove by there. Quizno from the corner, yes! Oh, Quizno, that's such a baseball name.

Quizno. Yeah. One hop to Quizno. Quizno at the plate. Two one now. The wine, the pitch. Oh, Quizno. Sends it packing.

dream job yeah what was Quiznos saying what was there didn't they toasty ha ha ha ha

ha he's not at the plate oh my please please uh oh you got to name my kid

that so I can set that up Quizno that's awesome that's awesome You like this crew? What happened at Quiz? Pretty good, yeah.

Pretty basic. But I mean, it's not as flashy as some of the recent ones that I've been getting. Yeah, where's the big bear or the Taz or,

come on. Oh, that was last week. It's dirty. Okay. Yeah. But I had to, it's October baby.

October baseball. It's just different in October. I do like that. There's only one October. That cubs logo with the bear in it. The bear kind of crawling.

Mm-hmm. Nice bear. It's a good bear. That bear's just, there's so many bear logos out there and they're all good never seen a bad bear logo doesn't it Grizzlies Memphis dude the Chicago Bears logo is

hitting still yeah that's been their logo forever too even like cereal bears like you know got the sugar bear for like cereals you eat yeah you got the icy bear for like slushies dude bears run shit polar pop is that it's a bear right it's a polar bear I don't know I'm just thinking the icy bear with like the

the crew deck on oh oh yeah yeah the hottest bear ever Klondike bar bear sick bear uh I feel like polo Ralph Laurenne oh that's like a USA cutest cutest bear of all time yeah it's always like the there's the 4th of July uh theme where they got the 4th of July logo for some reason um Bears, good. Cubs, good. There's one we're missing right now. I don't like it. I mean, the Coca-Cola polar bear.

Flying down the snow. Weather, the weather's up where the weather's up in the bear game. It's almost time, dude. It's almost time. Snyder Stamps. I don't know why I just became

Randy Newman. I sing that. Back up north where the air gets cold. You got afraid of me. You got a friend with me. My family always gives me a hard time. I said I don't like my Randy Newman. I kind of like it. I think he kind of killed it.

Yeah, golden crisp bear. Never had golden crisp. Me neither. I don't know how it's still a thing. Hey, money laundering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How was Baltimore? It's good.

God, dang, it just was so cloudy and it rained the whole time. I was like, this is perfect, dude. This is exactly. what I want. Just defense weather for the hotel I stayed in. $5. $5 breakfast in the morning. All you can eat?

That's amazing to me. No free with the price of admission? Nah, I don't think that's a thing anymore. Every hotel I'm at. Complementary breakfast? I mean, it's probably built into the price of your room. It was just five bucks.

And I was like, that is fine with me. And then down the way, a full chilies. Down the way. Like down the road. In the hallway of the hotel. there's a full chilies and you wouldn't think because you know you go to a hotel you're thinking like it's gonna be a half chilies like an airport chilies airport i mean those kind of slap too but i went to a hotel there's a hotel in hollywood we can i walk there so i mean you can walk there from where we live and there's a fridays

me and logan my roommate could not wait to go dude got there as a half fridays we're like everything just a little half ass in it yeah not the real thing yeah yeah yeah still ate everything in sight, but... That wasn't in Baltimore. The Chili's in Baltimore. The Chili's in Baltimore. Or, yeah, Chili's in Baltimore. Good time.

Gee, the popper, the apple, the triple... Just got, like, two plates. I was with two other dudes, so we just went in on some wings. Got the fajita salad. No, no. The, what's some, the, like, Mexican salad? Viesta.

With a little tortilla. chip strips. God damn, can you ever have fun? Chips, dude. Nice little crunch. Hey, at NFL street up in the room, just waiting. Nice. Brought it here.

Didn't watch any ball? A little chilies and some ball in the corner. Yeah, they didn't have their TV set up right. You never want to ask at a restaurant. Hey, can you? Never mind. Actually, yeah, just don't even worry about it. I'll just watch my phone right here in the corner.

Or a restaurant. that's what I did at a wedding I was out over the weekend had the old phone propped up yeah propped the phone I mean when they have like

they had an hour long cocktail hour I mean it makes sense in the title but sometimes you know people say cocktail hour and it's just like a slight little intermission

to before you go into the main hall this is quite literally an hour and long hour yeah it was and it was right at P it was six to seven so it's peak

Go with a 3.30, you know, it's witching hour for the 3.30 slate. Now, and then the 7 o'clock games are getting ready to start. That's on what day, Saturday? Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, I guess they're all on Saturdays, aren't they? Friday kind of duty?

It's become a more trendy, I think, because, you know, it's not that. You know? I'm about it. But then Sunday, yeah, people do have Sunday weddings. Oh. You know, it's cheaper. But then also, I feel like if people are having Sunday wedding, most of the ones that I hear about which is two I think

they're all like clean no alcohol dry who's going I've had a few people that have they've been in that situation like we don't want to go because it's not I mean yeah it's on a Sunday and there's no have to draw of a wedding probably more than that

how to draw is the cocktail hour to then the open bar check and see what they're serving you know get three domestics you know

one specialty drink maybe wine and then if you want to do a cocktail it'll charge you for it would be cash bar cash bar

cash bar cash bar jack and colk when it's like when it's like a real bar that blew my mind until a wedding on time

and everything it was just get whatever you want I was like oh God Jack Colk Jack Colk yeah

when right when it's completely open, not just beer and wine. Which, you know, beer and wine, I'm certainly not complaining. That's pretty much. That's all you need. Right.

I mean, like, hey, shot, shot, shot, shot, if you're getting liquored up, like, actually liquored up at a wedding,

you're going to be, you know, sweaty guy with a shirt off. Throw up in the bathroom guy. Throw up in his bathroom guy, you know, shirt off, taking it between your legs,

doing that move. It's going to be a rough time getting that tux back. at 8 a.m. Yeah, like the bride is absolutely going to hate you. Men's warehouse. Licker breath in the morning?

We got McDonald's and we're late. Dude, oh my God. We're shaking it back. I think I, at this point, I think I have a full tuxedo of mismatch items, so I just haven't even returned from wedding.

Yeah. I think I have three full suits from weddings. I'm like, I don't know. Where are we supposed to return it? I don't know. I think like when I die, men's warehouse.

will drop a tab on me that's going to be up to like $640,000 by that point of just late fees. You're going to like the way you look. They guarantee it. Men's warehouse. Dude, that's a scam.

Oh, 100%. Buy four suits, get one free. I'm like, who's buying four suits? Who's buying four suits, dude? The bigger scam to me is, oh, yeah, you're in this wedding? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's your best friend that you've known for 25 years?

Pretty excited about it. Oh, you're going to be the most drunk we've ever been. Yeah, we'll see you at 11 a.m. Oh, my, I think it's earlier, bro.

I think it's earlier. Like, what? We'll see at 11 a. m. tomorrow. Huh? No, no, no, no, no.

Can we do this on Monday? They never get it right either. I'm like, yeah, suit's going to fit good. Why does it always look like shit when you put it on? I'm like, God, dang.

Why do I have like, like birthing hips? Because they're like, I look like the penguin. Child bearing shoulders in this. I'm like, what are we, what is this?

Just give me a top hat. I might as well just be Danny DeVito from Batman. It's because when they measure you, they're just like, yeah, okay, uh-huh, now stretch your arm out.

Yep, okay, we're on the hips. Don't mind me. And it's just in and out real quick. So not get anything right. And then they're not tailoring it. You know how it is.

You get a big tailor guy. Like you got to get that actually fitted to you. worst pants ever dude a lot of hip room in those pants I don't take any pictures in my head yeah yeah

and the cut of the pants is so wide at the bottom dude high too your feet look like they're this big because the pant is going so far over them like floppy ass wide hips tiny feet

yeah this is going to be great oh god Yeah, can I get the athletic cut? Athletic. Who am I? Yeah, I'll take athletic. Slim fit. Okay.

Okay, big guy. But then if you do slim fit, then it's like, I make one move. Whole ass. Out. These are going back. Full ass out. Have you ever done that when your jeans? No.

That's when you know it's time to buy new jeans. That's the only. Don't wash them ever, but you know, and it's time to get new jeans when he's ripped the car, blow the crotch out. Oh, I'm in, I'm in New Gene territory. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I'm good for at least another 15 years. Got some last year. Nah, because I like, I lost weight, but now I'm all in between everything. So I got to get a better fit. I'm kind of in between styles. I know there's different. Burpy, but, whoa. I love you. Korean barbecue salmon. All right. Dang. Yeah, it was good. But I'm in. between styles, you know, I don't know if I want to just commit to just, hey, I'm staying the

same way that I have been for, you know, since I was 22, or if I'm saying, hey, you know, there's kind of some different ones coming back. People are getting a little bit looser, right? Don't want to try those out. Can I not touch that area? Am I stuck where I am? I'm in between. Go baggy, dude.

I don't know. I just, I think I'll look like a undercover cop. Well, you already do. I mean, not super baggy, but just like, you know, it's never looked bad when you think of that. You said we're going back to the baggy shorts, like calf shorts. I think I am right now, dude. No, those aren't that bad. I mean, they're, they're kind of long.

They're not the five inch seam cut, but they're not. You're covering the knees. Cammo. These are Paul Wall shorts. What in the hell is going on? Who knows, man. Got some new AF ones. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it was time. retire the old pair. I'm due for a new new new new pair of shoes. This is for uh Tim Martin who always makes one of my shoes on this podcast. Why does he make fun of your shoes? Jesus. Politi wearing the same shoes again. He's clubhouse but like he's always he's always like dog like come on wear some jay. You know what I mean? You usually have pretty wild ones like you have those polka dot ones and like the paint like all your shoes look like desserts. Ooh that's a great compliment. Like yeah they're like the desserts that you want to eat at a She's looked like cake, dude

Nah, I've just been Rockin these just because they're so easy Dude, this wedding I was at though It was nice. That's city barbecue You're serving city barbecue for the meal Pretty good pick Hey, they're cornbread

Yeah That cornbread It's different Mashed potatoes, green beans It's a good bread It's a good bread We're talking about restaurant breads You know what I mean?

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Barbecue corn bread

Kind of up in there Yeah City Barbecue Cornbread Kind of like the third Wide Receiver option who's just steady Over the middle It's just very reliable Uh huh good hands possession

It's like man Dig energy Makes a catch a game that you're like God I love that guy Third and 15 catches a 17 yard Like right in the middle On the logo Yeah

A dig takes a Helmet shot Gets up hangs on to it Like cornbread Yes that is actually a think name too Cornbread. Oh, that's a cool nickname for a white guy. Dude, that should be the Colts Tiennes nickname.

Cornbread. Tyler Warren. For no reason. You should have Quinn Nelson, Golden Corral. Or not Golden Corral. Wait, what? Quentin Nelson Cracker Barrow commercial? Nah.

Yeah. He's eating a bunch of pancakes because they're promoting like a pancake block. Ooh, man, Cracker Barrel's pancakes. Not bad. Slice. Bad big cute. There's got to be the best. Those got to be the best pancakes.

Not bad, Big Q. I'd still, I'd still go to bat, go to absolute war for the McDonald's Big Breakfast pancakes. Oh, yeah. The convenience. Maybe some McDonald's hotcakes. Slat me in the face with one of them.

Three gallons of syrup. And they're just, they're just literally absorbing all of the syrup. I know you've talked about it on espresso. I don't know. about it all day, bro. I like talk about this forever. And even the orange juice at McDonald's

hitting a little too good. I'm like, what? How does McDonald's have all these special little things? Yeah, we have their Coke's better and our ketchup's different. It's better. Our fries are better. I'm like, yeah.

Right about the ketchup. Dude, and the Coke, too. They're like, yeah, it's a different recipe. Yeah. Oh, my God. What kind of syrup are they using? Nobody ever asked that question. Yeah, yeah.

their orange juice I just immediately think of just the most refreshing. It is. I don't even know if it's like cold. I feel like it gives me superpowers in the morning. It's just straw, bro. And how come you can only get like the biggest one? Like I feel like when I'm getting oranges from McDonald's stuff.

Really? Because I feel like it's always the smallest little bitch one with the biggest straw coming out. I hate it so much. The pipe, dude. That McDonald's straw. It does some things, bro. How are people not figuring that out? How are restaurants fast food or not?

How do we not have two separate straws? Are you having a little to go cup? Yeah, here's a little straw. You're having a big cup? Here's a bigger one. I know, I know. Which is the overhead cost? I don't give a shit about the overhead cost.

This is purely... This is purely... Or like, okay, if you're going to be about the overhead cost, then you know what? Have an employee there. who has scissors, and when they're giving you those, take about an inch and a half off of the big straw to match the cup. God, I love those straws.

Best straw on the game. You're right. Worst straw on the game? Taco Bell straws, man. Just don't even get me. They're just disgusting. Why? Now, they're real thin.

Ah, the thin. They're thin, and they're, like, very narrow. And they just seemed like they stole them from somewhere and put them in their, store or something. Burger King, not a bad straw. I haven't had a drink for Burger King in a long time. I just remember they're always

like pretty solid. Like they were, I think they were red, if I remember correctly. And it wasn't any thin Taco Bell type. Yeah, those are no good. You were able to get, you were able to slurped down

a quality amount of drink. Mm-hmm. guys talking about sucking when aren't they it's all I'm talking about sucking these days and my cat's here and I'm scared of her

so up first time I've seen you in 17 years yeah she's gonna kill us her and Bobby were going at it earlier always going at it right when the kids going to sleep never fails never fails they got no flight yeah you know they're in each other

up the stairs right and one was up in the loft and then one came up and then it's gotta be so fun the dog you know their paws on the ground and everything

doing nothing dude dogs do nothing cats got hands pissing me off yeah my dad was the efficient too at the wedding oh no way I would have gone

yeah it was wild yeah yeah he did a good job it was weird seeing him in that light you know because there's like 200 other people there So they're just watching a lot of these people. They're just like, yeah, this guy. It's just interesting seeing somebody as you know in that light.

You know what I mean? Like he's like the priest or whatever. He's the one who did the ceremony. At a winery. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. So this is good little weekend.

Purdue was off. Weather was gorgeous, a little late early fall wedding. on Saturday, you know. Kids got to go. That wasn't so good. No way. First wedding. First wedding for the kids.

So, was I sweating the second I got there? Down your back. It's still 97 degrees. Uh-huh. It was an outdoor wedding and I had to chase the kids around before the ceremony. Yes. Absolutely.

When don't you? Was the entire cocktail? Did I have to invoke? Did I have to invoke, the winery like the outdoor space was kind of by some woods and the kids were just like run in the gun and run

and my nephew my two kids you know just doing the thing where they just keep running you're like hey don't go too far they look and they think it's funny they keep running you know that I have to invoke hey there's wolves out there they're going to eat you nice every time I wonder if was I being lied to every time

Probably. Dude, wolves have come up more times in my life when I'm, like, doing something I'm not supposed to than ever. Like, we've been playing hide and seek at my aunt's house. You've got to remember, hey, a tiger got let out at the zoo. I'm like, how many times, does this tiger get let out like every three years? Because this has been happening. Like, how many tigers you guys got? Right.

You guys had somebody. And I don't even think you guys have a zoo. Like, dude, they're in like small town, Michigan. I don't think you guys have a zoo for real. Hey, small top Michigan, maybe it was like a Joe exotic situation. Maybe somebody just had tigers, like down the road, you know? God, dang. I do that all the time, right?

Wolves, bears. There's a bear. Ryos, she'll be like, what? You know, kind of. Why would you say that? I'm like, I got to get their attention somehow. That's pretty good. Hey, the first three, hey, don't go that far.

That wasn't working. You know what's going to work? I think a wolf's going to come eat their head. Hey, Michael Myers is in there. Dude, yeah. Hey, you think that I'm not... You think I'm not gonna invoke that? I have the full outfit.

I got the jump suit. I got two masks in right here next to me. You might need to, dude. You think when the kids get old enough to realize that? I'm not gonna pull that out. Hey, Michael Myers is going to come back. If you don't go to bed and laying your bed... Michael Myers is upstairs in your bed.

Get them, dude. Oh my God, they'll never... Never go upstairs again. just got to scare the hell out of him dude no I'm scared right now I know I always talk about scary stuff scare myself

that happens every time oh my god oh yeah where's dad come on he's like oh he's he's doing he's he's just working on something out out the girl he's meeting no no he's going to work on something really I'm just getting my jumpsuit on

my Michael Myers mask to go go stand outside their window. Oh my God in the middle of the street. Oh, yo. Nothing scarier. You got to do that sometimes, man. You know what?

After I said there's wolves out there that might eat you, stopped running by the woods. They're not going to remember that when they're older. Right. You know? Maybe it might be deep-seated somewhere in there. Woods is a scary place. Oh, it was light out, you know, so it's a little bit different.

Even scary when it's light. see something weird run across? Okay. Dude. Got a lot of weird's wood situations. I don't know. I think the unknown of the darkness. Yeah, that's just scary all like all the time though.

But that daylight would when you can really see some. I don't know. Daylight woods for me, I'm just like, oh, I'm going to see an Ewok out there. We're on indoor. God. No? Yeah. Still would be scary.

I always hope that. But, yeah, that's why I get the, that's why I get the Michael Myers costumes. All right. Let's get to, let's get to the clubhouse. Yeah. And she actually, you're going to, you're going to get your clubhouse. The impressions are sure, shout, but I have a friend who's just, like, brutally honest, you know, like. Oh, my God.

For some reason, like, he just can't, you know, like, a lot of people will just be like, oh, yeah, you know. And he just doesn't do that. So, that's great. Yeah. He goes... Like that? No. Not Clint, but one of my entourage sketches

after we were together like the weekend after it, like did really well. And he was like, yeah, I mean, the impressions were just shush out about the writing was super shush, but on. Dang. Dude, you got to love a guy like that. I mean, not beating around the bush.

He doesn't, you know? You always know. And he says that. He's like, Joe, you're always going to know where he's stand. Who is it? Danny Cox. No way. Oh my God.

I didn't know he was, I didn't know he's a straight shooter. Oh, yeah. Always has been. Yeah. Like literally another one. Every time I was just like, I just have to shake my head and laugh.

It was after the Vogue show that I did, like the first show, like live comedy show that I did in indie. Yeah, I remember. And like everybody was, you know, pretty much all of my friends are there, whole family. Good turnout of the crowd, right?

and afterwards we were just like at an after party and he counted to me he's like Joe, you did great. Not going to lie, I was pretty nervous because I didn't know what to expect from me coming up to you. Bro, everybody says that. I'm like, dude. I thought it was going to be so awkward.

I'm like, I mean, thanks. Thanks for coming. Appreciate you. I mean, I like it though, I guess. Appreciate it. All right. It's got a Greg. I'll make this one quick.

Been listening to all your guys old pods from the beginning. Benny, you know, oh, I think we did that last week. No, maybe we didn't. Benny, you know what we hadn't had in a while? Hey, you got a minute for us? Slop my ass with a Mollinard minute where he just went, scorched earth about Matt Canada, and I totally feel everything he said three years later.

Was I wrong? Was I wrong, Greg? No, I wasn't. Yeah, we'll get a minute soon. It's just got to be right, you know? Yeah. It's got to happen. Can't force a minute.

Can't force a man, yeah. And be honest. From Scott. Lardarius Webb. This is key here. Because you think it's Laderius. It's Lardarius. Oh, okay.

L-A-R-D-R-I-U-S. Wow. Web from the Ravens. These guys, second time, long time. My son is seven and playing tackle football for the first time this year. He's liking it. But what's wild to me are the absolute.

psychotic parents at these games. Brought back memories to when I was a young Hooper. Got a tech for spiking a ball, young Rashid Wallace. The best part, as the gym was quiet during the technical free throws, my dad yells out, you should get a T for terrible! At the ref. Good one, dad. You got tossed.

Got me to thinking, do you have any wild stories from your youth sports days of parents losing their mind? Slat my ass with coaches, broken dry race for it after he spiked it because the marker dried out. God. As a marker ever worked on a lot? God, man.

And get it together, coaches. Like, buy a new pack. I was running so late, bro. Just buy a new pack on the way, please, for the love of God, dude. I have to do so many circles. Oh, sorry, Ruby. I've ever been too loud. Okay.

So many circles, the lines, can't see anything. So what am I supposed to? What do you read, Pulitzer? Dude, they're, like, they're drawing, and it's erasing the line that they're drawing. you know. I'm like, dude, bro, one time, one time before a game, I was like, we were like really early. Or we had like a game and then we had like two hours to kill

in another game. So we were just messing around. I got the coaches dry raceboard. And we were playing like the best team ever. And I wrote on the dry race board just like show my, I go, all right, here's the play. And I write, we're gonna lose. And I show them and everybody laughs. Dude, it was in permanent marker.

So, so I got a, I'm like scared as hell going to this next game because the coach is obviously going to see it. I'm trying to everything to get it to race up the board is nuts. Wide out. Trying to. We were putting dry erase over it and trying to get it off. It was crazy. Oh, man.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you remember when coaches started showing up with with those dry weight? Dry waste. Fuck. Dry waste. Dry race. Stroke.

Driveways. Driveways? Showing up with the driveway. They'd have them custom to wear like the logo. Too much for me. The court would match your court? We're not that good. We're not that good.

Can we just get one from Gallions? I thought that was crazy. A little too much, dude. I'm like, who are? Who do we think we are Decatur Central? Such an anniversary gift from their wife that they hate. Oh, for sure. Honey.

For your little basketball team, wouldn't this be fun? I didn't even you like like them. I know it's super... They have to use it because they want to watch them in the crowd, you know what I mean? Any wild stories from your youth sports days of parents losing their minds? Oh, man. Well, I played a bunch of travel baseball, so... Yeah, go.

All right. I've said this before, I think. Or maybe it was just... Probably, are we just talking about it? All right, at one field, St. Luke. The field that we're the, this is another Catholic football field, gym type of thing, where the field isn't big enough. Right.

So the end zone's not 10 yards. Seven yards. Yeah. Actually, I think it was five yards. So the field's real weird. There's a huge drop off on the sideline. And like it goes steep down. Oh, yeah.

There's like a bridge that all the people use across this like steep like hill. get onto the playing field from the parking lot. And, uh, one time, one time, uh, our friend Kevin Bonnich. His dad's like a nut,

dude, but he's like in the best way. But he's like all about the squad. He's all about the squad. He's just all about the team. He's a proud dad. Say that. Dude kind of touched down to the back of the end of.

But he was out because there's only five yards. He got pissed and tackled a dude down the hill. Like, like, like, Abby Gilmore style, Bob Barker. Push the St. Luke, dude, down the hell. That's so lit.

Wow. Oh, man. Those are my favorite kind of dad's. He did good. Hopefully he breaks his leg next week. They're saying shit like that. I had, uh,

is also CYA football. Hell yeah. It was eighth grade. We were playing at, uh, is when it's Kati, had that turf practice field that actually had the like fighting iris logo on it so sick i know we're playing at notre dame what that's my whole thing um and we're playing st pious so you knew it's gonna be

rough right uh-oh and one of the one of the dads on our squad was standing in the end zone always stood in the end zone like not in the end zone but like right next to the goal post the back of my dad was on that yeah too but But he said something. He yelled at the official about some call. And then the official told him that he had to, like, leave. He didn't kick him out, but he's just like, you can't stand by the goalpost at that, you know,

behind the field. Like, you need to move, get out of there. And the dad just refused to leave. And so the game stopped until the dad moved. And, like, they were getting to the point where they're almost calling, like, authorities to move him. And so finally, like, our coaches had to, to go over there and like, come on.

Mr. you have to, and the whole time he was just going, I never heard of such a thing. Dude. I never heard of such a thing. The game just stopped for like 12 minutes. Why are you talking about Mr. Massing? I like that. It wasn't him.

It wasn't him, but I mean, not too far off. That guy was in my nightmare. That guy was in my nightmares, for real. Yeah, when the parents, like, delay a game because they're causing such a scene, I'll never forget that him being escorted by our coaches who had to leave the sideline and like two other dads

to just get him to move because he didn't want to move and the whole time just yelling at the top of his lines I never heard such a thing down 48 no no we were we were pretty good so we weren't down that much but it was just like

they were running like crossblitzes and shit you're like how do we pass this off and pick up I don't know they were one of those teams we were just kidding yeah it was a long day at the office. Because, like, man.

Say, Pius was throwing like 95% of the game. I was like, wait, hold on. Yeah, like shotgun and shit. We can do this? Yeah. Yeah, we played in the last game of the year. Last game of the year, literally like three practices left. They're like, you guys got to learn how to play defense now.

I was like, okay, got to play corner. All right, I guess I'll just watch Charles Woodson highlights and figure it out. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Get your back pedal down. Yeah, got like 14 flags that game. I was like, all right. I had a dad one time in tribal baseball. I was like 14.

And because I don't know, probably like the fifth inning. And all of a sudden he just comes in the dugout and just says, hey, snaps points at his son. He says, get your shit, we're leaving.

Because he was like mad that he wasn't playing or playing in the position that he wanted to play. He's not as good. So he's just up and just like, hey, we're out of here. Just got his son. I never said, son packed up.

Sun packed up. See ya. It was off the team. God, but I bet your coach was so happy. Yeah, they were. Thank God.

Literally, poked his head, like stepped foot just inside the dog. I got poked it. Snap. Hey, his son, like,

he had his son trained like Pavlog's dogs. They snapped. And like, immediately looked. Didn't even argue with him about like, but dad, I'm not,

no, I want to stay. I want to play. Just packed up like a robot. Boom. Woulda love that too. Why is that kid? All right, cool.

Yep. Where are we going to eat on the way home? Yeah, cool. I can look at my phone and go to this party I want to go to this week. Thanks, Dad.

Go to this party. From Sylvia, longtime burpee girl here. I love you. She says, Grizzly wintergreen log. That's crazy. Parentheses enabler.

Joey and Benny, long-term clubhouse, burpy girl, fourth-time emailer. You guys seriously crack me up. Thank you. I told my husband about how your 924 episode had to write in again onward. Shamefully, I was that girlfriend who would purchase the logs of chew for my boyfriend. Yes. Now husband back in our college days.

I was going to college of Missouri and he was a college wrestler in Iowa. Oh, God. And yes, he drove a Chevy Avalanche as well. Surprise, surprise. Oh, I got to meet this guy. And when I would visit him, I would stop by the store and buy multiple logs in Missouri. getting Travis Kelsey. Significantly cheaper per can slash log than they were in Iowa.

He would have a nice inventory for himself and also enough to sell to his teammates. Fast forward 10 years, he no longer chews tobacco. Oh, good for him. Slap his ginger peach with 6 milligram experiment and cool mint Zen pouches he inevitably switched to. Shameful enabler. Silly Sylvie. Silly. Sylvie's awesome, man.

She had to have been at your Kansas City show. Her and her husband were at my Kansas City show. And she's so, they're awesome. She's, uh, she's true clubhouse. Yeah. True fam. Dude, that's like, I mean, and talking about it, a real, real ass girlfriend, too. To, to make those purchases, but then to also have the wherewithal to buy in a certain area because it's cheaper.

That's only a girl thing. I would not think about that for, One second. I mean... Cheaper dead. Presence of mine. Also, your husband wrestled at Iowa, so scared of him. Oh, my God.

I got to see him, bro. Any Big Ten wrestler... Any Big Ten wrestler will kill you in five seconds. Dude, I can't believe... Can you imagine how hair he is chest is? That's all I'm thinking. Hair coming out of the singlet. All I'm thinking of is how messed up his ears are.

we got to get that fix in wrestling right like how's it happening don't you wear the ear ear muffs I think that it's not I think that I mean I I think the ear they're not ear muffs I know headgear yeah

I'm just thinking about played against sports headgear now I think the head gear doesn't enable it I think it's because of the head gear oh I thought you wore the headgear so your ears and get all folded up and stuff on the mat maybe you do I thought it was just like their smallest way to protect from a concussion.

Two guys who... You guys who don't know shit. We're not a part of the revelettes. Bro. Nothing about wrestling makes sense to me. I'm like, so can you pick him up and body slam them? Like, are you doing that? That's what I always thought.

They're like, you don't know how to wrestle? I'm like, no. What's even the first thing you do? Man, guys who love wrestling. Yeah, it's like their life, dude. Like, they are in it. Mm-hmm. and it's intense.

It's got to be the crazy, like losing weight. Oh, yeah. I was having four carrots for lunch because we got Sassina this weekend. I'm like, what? What? Got weigh-ins. Yeah, just only like cucumbers and water. Dude, me before way-ins in football.

Same. I remember. I've told that story, but I think you were like the kid that everybody was like, I didn't know you at the time, but they were like, that eighth grader kid, he didn't eat for like four days.

And then, and then, Like once he made weight, then he, on his way home, he had three big mags and four large fries. Dude, yeah, that actually happened. I think my mom brought me Oreos to weigh-ins. I don't think I even made the weight limit. It was just like somebody cool weighing me in and they're like, you made it. Yeah.

Just like a cool dad. I was like, no, you know what it was. His old godfather Joe Politsi who was like getting a strong arm on him. And they were like, I don't want to piss that guy off. I don't think my dad even knew any of that existed. I'd do that for Frank. like push came to shove this kid run the ball dude

what was I doing putting my hand in the dirt in eighth grade I'd slide somebody like 200 for I'd be like hey you sure you didn't make weight but the thing is you know yeah cold one

hey can a dip long sure about that sure it wasn't under 100 he's our running back in he he uh

god what was I guess God, the sound bite's going to come back to kick my ass in 12 years. What? Luckle boy scores 14 touchdowns in three games. He's a beast. His internet father at this surfaced from, you sure he's not?

I won the city championship in CYO because of a can of dip. They're banter. Well, that is a tough scene. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Would you do that? I don't know. I could never. Oh, my son.

Well, in brighter news, how about the forecast? We'll send it over to Marty. Marty? We would play some teams in CYO, dude. And I'd be like, that kid was not under 100 pounds. Oh, dude, there was. I know. I was like, these north side dads.

There's so much. There's no way that kids under 100 pounds. I guarantee there could be probably not on Netflix, but maybe like a, I don't know, maybe like a tubey documentary on like the inner workings of. CYO football Yeah I would watch it every time

Oh my God But like you know There's just had to been Some corrupt shit going on Yeah because I'd be like I've never seen this school before Or any of these dudes before ever In my life

And then we go to high school And play the schools that they're supposed to go to They don't exist anymore I'm like what happened to that kid That tore us up last year He's not on the freshman team Where'd he go? The NFL

So for Clubhouse that And I know we got them everywhere For Clubhouse that doesn't Now, CIO, Catholic Youth Organization. It's what me and Ben grew up playing, you know, football, basketball, all the different sports and shit from. And they had these different rules. By the, about CIO.

Yeah, you'd be third and fourth grade, fifth and sixth grade, seventh and eighth grade. And they had weight limit rules to where if you're over certain weight, you weren't a lot to run the ball. However, what's so interesting and frustrating about this is if you are 25 pounds over the weight limit, you could line up at middle linebacker and absolutely deck the shit out of the kid that's 85 pounds. But it is then I want a kid who is over the weight limit to run the ball. Which doesn't make sense then I think about it. All right.

It's like the opposite. But anyways, that's, that was one of the rules. One of the rules of CIO. And so and that's another thing about CIO too is like there's a lot of, a lot of politics, a lot of inner workings, a lot of generational. people who have been around who have influence and power, whether it be at the high school level, at the deanery at the church. Deenery.

Mon Senior Downey. Yeah. Not senior downy, really. He had a futures ticket on Barnabas, Wyton City, and he needed it to happen, man. He got us at plus 650 and damn it, he's trying to cash that in. Yeah. Are we talking about?

Weight limit stuff. Right, right. Yeah. Oh, from wrestlers because they're cutting weight. They got to be, I just want to know how many dudes on CYO teams that we play. This is still stuff I think about it every day. We're from public schools. It just played on that.

That was another thing. Yeah, you had to like, if you were going to play in a CYO team, you at least had to be a registered member of that church. Like you had to tithe at that church. Come on, dude. So you know, there was probably some coaches or some parents out there who would launder money to the church under their names. so that their kid could play. Dirty.

This is either a documentary that needs to happen or this is like a sitcom that we can be right. CIO football. Thanks, Sylvia, for the email. Let's go to Max. Max says Halloween is over. What's up, Benny and Joey? Huge fan here.

Just wanted to goal ahead and get your opinion on something real quick. Are there any college football teams and offenses that you think are just made for each other? and that's the only offense they should ever be able to run. I'm talking like Army and the triple option, Texas and the air raid, Hawaii and the run and shoot.

I would appreciate hearing your all's thoughts. Keep with the good work and making people laugh. P.S. walked into Coles yesterday and they already have Christmas stuff out. Stationed about that? Max. Station, I know about that. Already? Yeah, I went into a hardware store last weekend.

Me and Mirabella did and they had all, I mean, it was like the North Pole in there. It's a prime Halloween right now. I went to Home Depot. Oh, yeah. Did you see the Jubica? No. I didn't. I think it's a Home Depot product.

I definitely would have seen it, dude. I would have, but it was not. I didn't see it. I'll go back. Yeah. Good point on the offenses. Yeah, I do agree with you. Like,

there's, it can kind of go as well for an identity for a whole lot of different things. Like, and it kind of does already. Like, you know, and the pros. the Steelers and the Ravens defense, right? Like they should always have a good defense.

Ravens defense kind of not good. I know. And I'm like, guys. What are you doing? This is it. Like I think about like the Packers should always have and they always do like have a good quarterback. Yeah.

Kind of a high flying offense. Colts in my mind from the Manning years, some of the luck years. I'm like, yeah, you should have some good quarterback play. should be having some good efficient offense scoring points. But in college, yeah. I don't like it when teams change their identity. I'm like, wait a minute.

Like one that comes in mind for me. It was Michigan was always like pro style. And then all of a sudden they were like a lot of Donard Robinson. A lot of Donard Robinson. I mean, that was sick. But I'm just like this isn't Michigan. What is Devin Gardner? Like zone read.

Like, you know. Yeah. I'm just like, bro, get the white pocket passer and dime them up. Get the statue back there. Yeah, bro. What was Devin Gardner though? Do you remember him? Was he pro?

Was he a hybrid of like zone read and pro? He was like pass first, but he could take off. And 98 jersey is so weird. Burned in my head. So weird. Adidas 98. With the stripes on the shoulders, the throwback uniforms. It was so bad.

Like a giant, I forget what the patch was, but like a huge. huge patch on the jersey It was just the M Yeah No actually I think the number was here So 98 was huge here Huge M

Oh god It was whack But if Nike made it might have been like Oh my God it's so sick Weird time for Michigan football then That's for sure They're kind of back Kind of

Kind of think of Yeah like Florida You know Should always have Like Speed A ton of

speed, dual threat quarterback. There's always just have like a Tibeau. Like a guy that's like not that. It's just a great, great college quarterback. But you know it's not going to do shit in the pros. So, it's being the Steelers in the playoffs. So true. God dang. Georgia Tech.

How do you not root for Georgia Tech? Triple option. Like Georgia Tech, I just always want him to win. I don't know why. I feel like they deserve it. I feel like they're always like super overlooked. They're not like cocky. They're all just like dialed. It's just such a stepping stool job

Like if a coach goes to Except Paul Johnson Who's there forever Not sports podcast I don't even know the hell that is But if you go to a school Like Georgia Tech And you get him to like nine and three

Two years in a row Then like Florida's calling And you're trying to go to Florida And then you go to Florida And then you go to Florida and you win like seven games For two years And then you're fired And you go to North Texas

And then it's the same cycle over and over again. Dan Mullen, head coach at UNLV now. He does, well, you and LV, I'm sure Arkansas is going to come calling. Dude, Arkansas is one of those programs. I'm just like, get it together. How do you?

You know, it's so crazy about programs like that, too. Like, Arkansas and Nebraska, in my mind, and Iowa, kind of. It's like you have no professional teams in your state. So that is their everything is that team. And I'm like, and you still can't Arkansas full. every year. Bro, every year, I'm like, do something, dog.

I don't know. Never been a more 8 and 4 team than Texas A&M. Never been a more 7 and 5 team than Arkansas. Never been a more outbackball team. Dude, I get excited for him every year, though. I'm like, maybe this is it. I mean, just like, dude, you have the family that founded Walmart as one of your donors. Oh, do they?

Arkansas does? Walton's. Yeah. And, I mean, Walmart is based, the headquarters is based in Arkansas. That's kind of sick.

I didn't know that. And you can't get the, and I, you can't get the money to just buy all the best players, the best coach. What? You got Walmart. Jerry Jones is also an alumni,

alumnus of, of Arkansas. You got Jerry Jones and the Walton family and you're seven and five. What are we doing, dude? Now we're just an SEC. SEC. SEC.

We didn't have fault. Paul finds my mom. Hey, you might be able to take over his time slot. He's run for Senate. I hate it when people run for Senate. The Auburn, Tommy Tuberville. Fake man. Gotta be such a piece of shit.

Fake name. Tommy Tuberville. Dude, that is the high school coach in a Disney movie. Tommy Tuberville. You don't want to make head coach Tommy Tuberville. All mad. It's the SEC podcast. Alabama's always got.

gotta have like, I mean, they're just a pro team. I think Georgia always has to have a good defense. Georgia has to have guys who don't know the speed limit. Oh my God, that is so funny. It's like every other week, another one. What do they stop driving? No more driving. Yeah, you should.

Where are you going anyway? You should have, it's a big enough program you should have to where there. There's spider over there I keep looking at, freaking me out. I know they're big enough program. You should just have somebody to be able to drive them around whenever they want. What are we doing? Yeah, seriously. I just don't get where you need to drive.

I don't know. I can solve, figure it out. From Lou, what if Mike McDonald and Jonathan Gannon kissed before kickoff? Howdy, gents? Arizona really put together these fits. Gerald. Cheese.

The Cardinals alternate jersey is absolutely F. Sun Patch on the side that matches the end zone gives it such a retro feel might get one with Molinero on the back That is all Slop my ass with one of Richard Sherman's dreadlocks But only is Big Whit if Big Whit does it Lou sent for my LG Smart Fridge touchscreen that I had available While stacking up some more fat stats during commercial break

Let's go fat stats Yeah I like the Cardinals way better than I like the Dolphins that are going on as we were for this, the dark water all black situation. Yeah. And my friends were, they were dumping on the Cardinals end zone.

I had to like it. What would it look like again? It was the Arizona state flag. Oh, no, they have like the sun, the rays of sunshine. Dude, they need to play into that a lot.

You know, I was like, look, this is, this is what we're talking about here. Yeah, that is, that's major, mage end zone.

I like what the Ravens are doing, too. They're putting their throwback logo. Oh, yeah, yeah. Holy. I didn't know you could do that. You can just go back to retro logos all of a sudden.

Yeah. Like the one with where... First year. Where they had that big logo. Yeah. The crest logo on it. Things coming off the side. Ray Lewis.

I was like Ray Lewis and Jonathan Ogden. God. The numbers look good too. I always miss that first year expansion team unis. You know, it got me really excited. That would be so funny if you get a mold. I might start in all my... All my jerseys say mold.

Moulinard on the back now. Bro, somebody popped out to TG Live with a Mollinar jersey. That would be so sick. I would die. Kiss. Kiss. Well, that's like

the Steelers played in Ireland on Sunday morning against the Vikings. And it got me super excited for many reasons. But one of them was that they had the gold Steelers end zone and then the Purple Vikings. like it was a Super Bowl.

Like, you know, the end zone. NFL in the middle? NFL logo on the middle. No, I had, oh, yeah, yeah. But in the Steelers end zone, it had the logo on the left. In the middle, it had the Steelers, you know, written out. And I think it might have had the AFC logo and the other side. So it's like the logo that you have in the Super Bowl.

You know, your team has one end zone. You're like, yeah. That's our end zone. Yeah. Get the fucking Super Bowl. Yeah. Super Bowl fields are unmatched. Oh, dude.

Do they put the Super Bowl logo in the middle of the field or did they? No, it's always NFL. And then they put like this. The logo on the 25 or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. And then the Super Bowl logo itself is everywhere else, you know, like even on the sidelines and everything. But they get that, they get the NFL shield out there in the middle, but you know that.

Bro, uh, college football playoff or maybe this is a college football. Maybe it's a national championship. They paint the end zone's black. what your team colors are? I was like, oh, Alabama end zone all black. Yeah.

Oh my God. They do that right. I know they used to. It's always all black. Yeah, it is. That's crazy. Because Michigan had it, and I was like,

whoa, black Michigan end zone. Yeah. Yeah. They need to bring back that trophy, though. The, like, diamond ball. What the hell? How you get rid of that? I don't know. I just sound old.

Right? But I mean, like, isn't that better? 100% is. I don't know what this like pole thing that they have going on is. Whatever. I don't know what that. It just seems like they were just like, how do you just chat GPT?

We need a trophy. Dude, a diamond. A diamond football. A diamond ball. Hey. You win. Who's not licking that? Dude with Nike gloves on

A little confetti piece On your stick into your face A hat like this Yeah I'd wear my hat so fucked up If I won a national championship Are you kidding me? That's the first thing I did when we won at Marion

I was like give me a hat Upside down Backwards Worst thing they got going on are those big shirts dude. I was just about to ask, what would you, what was your game plan?

What was your game plan? When you wanted to marry it, did you take the pads off? Did you not even go with, you didn't even go with the shirt? Did you? No, I didn't wear the shirt.

Only a couple of dudes wore the shirt. Like a couple like, like, uh, like real like football guys put the shirt on over it. Because I wanted to be like that. But I was like,

I don't know. I just went, I just went hat on. Had's super cool. But the shirt, it's like, I feel like it's all part of it. Like,

it's part of it. experience. God, it looks so bad. My thing is, I was like, you would have to take, like, take the pads off. Because then if you just got, like, your pants and your cleats and all your other shit, and then the championship shirt and then the hat. It's kind of cool. That looks cool. But yeah, the shoulder pad, dude.

With the, ew. E! I think I was doing this with the shirt a lot. Yeah. Hat on the side. Yeah. People see my number and stuff. Yeah.

It's all about branding. this in the picture I had to get in the front for 13 minutes muscle in my way in the front sore tongue your jaw yeah your your jaw's starting to shake a little bit

because your mouth's right eye twitching in my head let's get fucked old that was a different police there that was absolutely different policey I mean come on Um, go on.

This is, we got another burpy girl here, Samantha. NFL rivalry unies right on time. These guys, this is burpid girl, Sam. weighing in on time zones first. Mountain time, undisputed best time zone for sports. I miss it dearly now that I'm on E.T. Hawaii time is sneaky gray. Literally roll over and there's games on at 7 a.m.

Snooze on off with the familiar commentators and cadences inviting you to get up and get coffee. Uh, bronze foods for America's game of the week. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, Sunday night football at like 11 a.m. or noon. That I would, God, do you want to talk about like, I would be like, am I in an M. Night Shyamalan movie? What is happening? Sunday night football at 11 a.m. Hawaii, yeah.

Huh? If you ever find yourself in Kona during football season, there's a Packers Bar that has potential to evolve into the satellite clubhouse bar when it's time to expand into the South Pacific when you're all at retirement age. The AZ Cardinals rivalry uniforms on Thursday night football. I just gave him earlier. Since this isn't a sports podcast, you never talk uni. I love the helmet, but wish the top and bottoms were just clean white and the shoulder decal wasn't metallic. The internet takes on them looking like tortillas. Oh.

Makes me like them less. Yeah. All that said, I'm now excited to see what other teams come up with and also bracing myself for the Packers' new throwback uniform debut, praying the old school leather design on the helmets play on the field under the lights. A lot of goal heading goal. Sam. Yeah, I forgot about the Packers doing those throwbacks with the, You know what?

I mean, you have a good baseline. Notre Dame did that a handful of years ago, and I didn't think it looked terrible. No, I think it was Illinois. Oh, it was Illinois. But I thought Notre Dame did one, too. It was Illinois. Illinois did it like last year, I think.

And they were so good. They actually looked real. Yeah. The pain job, which I'm kind of like, the Packers just kind of took that from them. Yeah. But it's whatever. It'll look good in Lambo under the lights.

Yeah. No, that'll be. It'll look good. That's a good point about the tortillas. Didn't think about that. But I don't know. I think it's just more to work with with that kind of color palette than... Again, it's like the...

Oh, dark water. He just won a black uniform. I think they're actually deep navy. The dolphin uniforms. But you can't tell. Like, they look black. But they're actually like so navy. Almost like Yankee.

Like midnight. Even darker. Yeah. But that... That's just black. I know. They should have done. Miami Vice.

Yes. The heat ran with that for a They still run with it. They ran into the ground, but yeah. From Jesse. Oh, this is fun. Kind of a business offering here. These guys, my name is Jesse,

owner of following you for a long time. My brother and I love your skits. Love your skits. I love your skits. Oh, all right. Well, uh, me and Polisi will talk about that offline. Uh, but thanks.

guys. From all caps. I want Iguadala. What's up, Benny and you go? Name changing. Stop.

No. Don't. Clubhouse. Come on. Third time, long time. Currently writing to y'all on a Saturday morning

while watching college game day. I went on a run this morning because I knew I was going to be putting up some stats today. I'm talking mott sticks, chicken wings, cheese dip. That a boy. That a boy.

My morning run. caused me to miss some college game day, but luckily I had last week's pod playing my headphones to help me power through. Watching game day got me thinking, if you were the guest picker and can build a perfect game day environment, what would you choose? I'm talking, you pick the teams, your specific, the crew, the location,

and of course, the food. For me, it's got to be 2012 A&M. Johnny Football is my favorite college football player ever, verse 2008 Florida, location the swamp, the crew saving David Pollock, Herbie, Reese Davis, and of course the coach was hard to leave deaths off this list, but I was like to

My game day food would be brisket and a rack of ribs interested to hear y'all's choices. P.S. turns out the girlfriend doesn't like when I respond, okay, to every text she sends me. Oh my God. Had to go hunting mode for a bit to get her back with good graces. As always, shout out the NC State Wolfpack. Best, Isaiah from Raleigh. What an email. What a thought. Perfect game day environment.

That's what I'm talking about, man. Look at you. going out on the run because you know later on you got at least even it out yeah at least even it out break even just for a mental thing you know you just walk away then just yeah you wipe your hands you're on in the next day good goal uh okay um perfect game day environment for me Michigan state dude kind of chilly in the fall I was about to say I was about to say give me like honestly just give me the 2005 Notre Dame

versus USC game in South Bend. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, I'm trying to think of a place where it's like there's actual weather. It's going to be like hot. It's going to be Florida.

It's October and so it was like a beautiful like rudy-ass day at Notre Dame. But then the crew, I'm going small desk. I'm going me, Fowler,

coach and herbie I'm going I'm going the tiny desk like that would be at like Miami of Ohio in like 2002 hell yeah no frills boys I like small desk desk too I'm thinking like a big 10 game

kind of uh dude Iowa Iowa state I don't know why it just feels so football oh dude Penn snow Penn State Michigan State Oh, at Penn State.

Yeah. Yeah, tiny desk. Old graphics. Yep. Old helmets in front, too. Dan, da, na, na, na, na, da. Dude, wide out Penn State. Yeah, real late.

You feel like that game's on, just so late. I'm talking about the old helmet, like the old shud helmet. Yeah. Blindman face mask. Huge. Right in the. With a ball. Yeah.

And I don't need, you know. And I like, like, I, I'm a religious game day watcher. I watch it every week, obviously. So I don't have any, like, problems with anybody on the desk right now. I think it's highly entertaining. But yeah, give me, like, Coach Corso, like, where he, you know, was at the phase where he'd be, like, climbing across the desk. We're in a turtle neck. You know what I mean?

Like, dress him up as a Notre Dame, as the leprechaun, you know, when he's making his pick coming out and doing like the dance and everything but like actually doing it yeah yeah he said food too yeah just just for whatever let's see yeah well he said his I think guess picker and build a perfect game day environment talking pick the teams a crew location of course the food yeah food food food I'm thinking it's just I don't you don't know if this has anything to do with Michigan,

Sarah Penn State, but the food we're just having chili. Chili, it's fall, it's chilly season, but we're having dogs too. So we're chili dogs. Crinkle fries. We got some cheese on the side.

Don't make it complicated, dude. Just chili's the main course. Dogs are kind of like, if you want to get freaky, and we got fries. Wow. You can't mess that up. Dude, I can eat chili forever, I think. Yeah, yeah.

You just never have enough. Just a man. That, dude. Give me a fat, that. Yeah, I'm with you. I can't argue on that. Chili. Maybe I want to do dogs with it.

Maybe it'd be chilly and, um... You ever just make a banging chili dog, though? Like, like, yourself? Like, you, is it sure? But I would, I wouldn't, like, have to do them together. What I, like, I could have, like, dogs there, gourmet style and put whatever else I want on them, but then I could have chili on the side, you know. I'm always the guy trying to make the, make your chili.

dog. Makes it together. A little line of like nacho cheese on there. It's over. A little full frito for some crunch. A little frito crunch on there. There's nothing like a frito crunch with chili.

Who's eating fritos without chili? Who's just eating fritos? You know? Nobody's just sitting there I'll take a bag of frito. There's got to be chili on it. If you do, if you do there's like a max of seven. that you can eat.

You like reach in. You get like, maybe you get like four. You're like, okay. This menu, whoever fit in this. That's what I'm saying.

You do like two round. You do one, one grab and you get four. Like, pretty good. Man, that crunch is nice. Are those stale?

You get the three. Then you just kind of get three. You're like, let me see. Segoin does hit the same. Still sobbed. Just like, I think I'm good.

Then you're out on freeos for the next two years. Don't have them again. Unless it's a walking taco, bro. Oh my God. walking tacos holding that bag in your hand never enough either

I'm always like trying to get my spoon like the corners of the bag she looks like a psycho I could eat 34 bags of those so what an invention worst breath yeah seriously at the times you need the best breath why is always the worst breath food being served Tailgate

With all the people you're trying to Like impress And you're gonna be with all that Just Just chili bean breast Hey a little bit orange Oh my Hey orange

Hey orange lips How's that chilly Beef lips Bean tooth You got like bean skin In between your teeth Old bean tooth Over there

flirting with girls That's what tailgate's all about Orange mouth That's so funny We're in a white sweatsher You got orange Oh yeah Yeah you're like

Should I pull the sleeves up? You're like I don't know It kind of throws up my fit Yeah The sleeves up on a hoodie Yeah sleeves bunch up too much Yep And then you got orange sleeves

Ah walking taco huh How'd you know Whole face fucked up Sweacher Orange drunk Dips Hey Back's got a little bit of

A little bit of brown streak Because you were There's a circle right here In your pocket Circle right there But hey you Wipe the I know I don't know

Wipe the ribs Yeah You got dip ribs It'll go away Dip ribs I've got dip ribs Too many pouches From Ryan

Todd Blackledge College football Saturday night thoughts BYU quarterback wearing number 47 is insane as is Stanford being in the ACC and since when is Pat Schumer Colorado's O.C.

This is the shit I'm talking about this is so weekly college football thoughts from Ryan from anybody you're just sitting there on a Saturday night dude you're a little buzz Keep sending these in Maybe you're a little buzzed

You know, maybe I've had a few cocktails. Maybe you're, maybe you're, your, you're, maybe you're, maybe you're walking taco just drunk off your ass, you know? Yeah. Just send it. It didn't even have to be a question. Just send the thoughts of what's streaming through it.

There's a streaming flow of consciousness about it. 47. Why is that such a thing? Like, I feel like it was such a thing in the 80s. You see how it's all time. You got receivers 47, quarterback 42. That is like the coolest, though.

Like when you. Well, they're only the best. best players. Yeah. I don't know why they did that. Doug Flutie 22. What the hell? It is pretty, it seems right for BYU for some reason.

I'm like not mad that it's BYU doing that. Yeah. It is annoying though. Oh my God. There's someone else that was, I can't remember if it was college or in the NFL. Weird. Because NFL's got, oh, it was. It was Bob Spillane for the Patriots.

The linebacker, 14. Oh, I like that. No? I don't. I don't. Yeah, it doesn't seem like the right guys in on the field. Yeah, it's just, it's a mind. It's a mind F.

I don't. For the NFL, it's a little different. Yeah. College, I don't care. Anybody to anything. You know, to a certain extent. They're really giving anything now in the NFL. It's crazy.

Linebacker number zero. Mm-hmm. Jemir Gibbs switching to zero? Crazy. Stanford in the ACC Yeah Conferences so I have no clue

There's 34 teams in the big ten Yep Pat Shermer Talk about a guy that's bounce Hey that guy's bounced around I don't even know who that is It was the He's the Browns head coach

For a little bit I think he was the Giants OC for a little bit Yeah Yeah dude Cozy We got the slug lips rubbing feet.

Get the moccasins on, bro. Steeler's moccasins. I need to put those on my Christmas loose this year. Same. Smelling crap after one day. Because your bare feet. Ew, dude. Is your Frito toes?

Your moxon smell like Fritos. It's December 26th. Sorry. I was relaxing a lot yesterday. A whole sweaty feet in the feathery machasins. Dude, they sweat. So quick. So quick.

Bear feed them. You got to. They sweat before, like the second you put them in, you're like, oh, God. It's not dipping the toe in the water. It's dipping the toe in the moccasins. That's what you got to do. You got to be in and out. Quick.

In and out. And then you got throw some socks on. And then you can lounge with the, with the mocks. High white mid Nike socks with mok's on. That's fine. That's great. Then you're good. Or, hey, cheat code.

Get a little dress sock. Dress sock in there? Dude, dress socks. feels so good. They're so thin. Uh-huh. So they already feel nice on your feet, but then it's just like, I'm basically barefoot. They are.

Stinking it up because I got these on. I don't think your feet can smell in dress socks. For real. I used to, I had the best pair of dress socks. I used them when I played basketball. I wore dress socks. They were pitch black, dude. Yeah, yeah.

And they were like this thin. Yeah. I felt so good. Breatheable. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's working everything, man. It's checking all the boxes, dress socks on.

What if we just switch a dress socks permanently? He's going to dress socks right now. Start that movement in college football. They're just wearing dress socks out there with their uniform. It's like those fancy ones. Remember guys were wearing like super loud ones? Ones with like teddy bears on them and shit like that. Yeah, weren't those like Chuck Taylor's?

Or those with like LeBron 12s? I feel good. You're slipping around your back. basketball shoe a little bit. It feels good. You got a time a little tighter. Yeah. That'll go on the Christmas list.

But I think that's the key. I think that's the nice middle ground there. You can, hey, you got your pajama pants on. Maybe you're not wearing any socks when you go down for Christmas morning. You get them. Bare feet so cold. Throw them on. Oh, wow.

Man, they feel damn good. As soon as you have that thought, take the suckers off. Going upstairs, go get you a pair of dress socks. Slip them in. Save yourself. I don't have any dress socks. Don't have a pair. It was the last time you wore a suit?

My wedding? For content? Every second. Well, that's true. Probably. That's so dumb of me, obviously. But, uh, yeah, reality TV, stuff like that. But for a suit, like for, for probably your wedding.

Yeah. Like a men's warehouse suit? Yeah. Yeah. That was Louis Tuck shop there. No, Freehats! But they're local Shish fan.

Yeah, not gonna lie to you. I thought you got to mention a hashby. It's fine. Not a local podcast. All right. Yeah, Team These Guys at gmail.com. Keep sending them in.

Send in your fat stats. Send in your stream of Saturday college football consciousness questions. We obviously love those. And these guys live, December 22nd, Monday night, Chicago gonna be a whole lot of this, man. Be interacting with you with you guys.

The fit's gotta be on point. Bring your dress. Jerseys, your starter jackets, your moccasins. Chili dogs. Tickets. Tickets available now. We're gonna get chili dogs in Chicago, dude. Well, where else are you? What's your next?

Sacramento, December 4th. Second. Seekown. Phoenix, December 13th, 14th. These guys live, December 22nd. Thick month. Yeah. It's gonna be nice.

Happy holidays. Happy holidays. While the merry bells keep. I can't wait for car dealership commercials, dude. Christmas car dealership commercials? Who's ever bought a car? I don't know one person. Fakes Santa.

Fake as Santa. Steve from accounting. Steve the salesman. Hey. Happy holidays. Do you want to be Santa this year? Throw it on. what's the name of like a i know there's like a bunch of like winter you know it's like kea summer sales event

what's the winter one are you talking about for local or for the ones that are big ones yeah chevy tahoe do do do do do do do do do do do do do slaps dude they pull up all the cars at the end of the commercial on their line in the snow in Antarctica seemingly yeah i was track i in the in the in the goby desert never gonna happen where did you even six jeeps how does this even come together anybody who's getting the jeep is not using the jeep for jeep things just using it to collect weird little ducks what's cheap thing you would understand uh uh what it's key summer sales event but it's always like uh solstice winter All it's coming to my mind is just that hardcore heavy metal of the Christmas.

Lexus. It's always Lexus for Christmas, dude. Would Santa, would Santa Sleigh make it through this terrain? Way big bow on top of a car? Yeah, you either have like the sentimental one. Like get her what she really wants for Christmas. and it's a huge bow. Jai, biggest bow you've ever seen out in front of the house on Christmas morning. Or that.

Rudolph's nose doesn't have shit on our headlights. Can't wait for that. All right. Got a goalhead and goal. Not a holiday podcast. Not a holiday podcast at all. Halloween's over. All right.

Sounds good, guys. Talk to you next week. Tim Dwight. Is he football player? Tim Dwight? Why am I having a... Who is he? Chargers, kick returner?

Oh, my God. Yeah. Marcus Mariani. Who's that? Mark Mariani. Who's that? The baseball player? Desmond Bennett.

Who's that? No way. Drew Bennett. Drew Bennett. Yeah. Station, all about that.