THESE GUYS! - is halloween happening?

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

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Just cut a two by four and eat all the wood on the ground? No, I just had one rolled gold brousal from 2004. Wait, I didn't, are you, you putting in a new deck? What is all this? Are you, no, no. Not bad for a fat guy. And we are underway. You are looking live at these guys,

156, wish it would have been 155, or rhymes would have been a lot better. But, uh, yeah, we're recording on a Saturday. 156 drunk chicks. How about that rhyme? 156 recording on a Saturday and you're at a tailgate with drunk chicks. Chicks. Uh, what do you, what do you guys want us to do? Uh, just try to interview some drunk chicks.

Never forget. Never forget. Can we'll never say chicks the same. way again, chucks. Hey, these guys live, 1222. Hopefully see some, hopefully see some burpy girls, some chucks there too,

you know, I mean, you want to be all the bros. That's fine. But, yeah, you know, you bring a,

bring a drunk chuck and we'll have a good time. Nothing better than a chick who just gets it, you know, a chek who knows ball. Oh man. There's like four chicks who knows ball like at every show of mine. It's just it's the most beautiful thing in the world. They'll just come in like wearing a black Ohio State jersey and I'm like, oh, yes, I love you.

Can we throw it around in the parking lot after this or something? Come on. When I performed in Green Bay. I honestly couldn't believe it. I mean, it made sense because it's Green Bay. But I had, I think for the first time ever, just three chucks who came to my show. together. My show, three chucks. That's what I'm talking about, bro. And I'm pretty sure one of them was wearing a Donald Driver jersey.

I can't remember exactly. Packer Chucks. Hey, cheesehead chucks. What I do for a cheesehead chook? Oh, my. Cheesehead chucks? Who's not listening to that? Week after week, dude. We record Tuesdays and Thursdays while I'm listening.

on Wednesdays and Fridays. Steelers. Hey, Steelers got the Packers next or this week. Hype. Hi. On Sunday night football.

Bap, bad a bad. Nope, Steelers are shunned. Hate them. Yeah. Wait, you hate the Steelers right now?

Yeah. All right, let me get the timer out. What's up? That's all you got to say, bro. It doesn't take much for me to start the minute. it's just laughable.

It's just laughable at this point. I went into Thursday night. I could have told you beat by beat what was going to happen in that game. I knew that they were going to have no game plan for Jamar Chase. I knew everybody in the world knew that Joe Flacco was going to come in there and he was going to force feed Jamar Chase the ball. What do he do? Exactly that.

Oh, apparently, apparently the Steelers just had no idea that was going to happen. Had no adjustment, no game plan for them to be able to do anything. To stop Joe Flacco and Jamar Chase, you got beat by one guy. You got beat by one guy. That's on you, Mike T. That's on you, Terrell Austin. I know it was a short week. Apparently, you guys didn't go into the building at all.

23 targets, 16 catches, 161 yards, and a touchdown. And it could have been worse. You had a chance to wrap up the division. You're 0 and 7 in your career on Thursday nights on the road against the AFC North opponent. It's time after time. It's year after year. The same nonsense. I'll keep going, but I wanted to hit the mark real, I wanted to hit the mark on a minute with nonsense.

And I hit the mark. It was good. Holy shit. My whole desk is collapsing. So why? So they didn't have a game plan for Jamar Chase at all? It's almost as if they didn't realize that he played for the Bengals. Like seriously, I mean, any, anybody, my mother-in-law would have been like, yeah, I think that number one guy for Cincinnati, like, he's really good.

They probably needed to make sure they stop him, right? Yeah, Gigi. As a matter of fact, you're right. I guess Mike Tomlin doesn't know that. Aaron Rogers. So predictable. And I love watching Aaron Rogers. I'm having the time of my life watching Aaron Rogers, old Aaron Rogers go and sling it around. The offense has done more this year than they've done really since like 2017,

2018, Big Ben. You're scoring on opening drives. You're scoring touchdowns on opening drives. That never happens for the Steelers. You're putting up four touchdown passes in one game. Aaron Rogers already has 13 touchdown passes. He's played six games. He's got 11 left to go.

So that's not the problem. That's not the problem. The problem is that you have no innovators. You have no real defensive minds. You have a bunch of frauds who are posing as defensive minds on the sideline. Same stuff year after year after year.

I'm going to have the same group of people tell me, well, you just, you don't get low. How lucky you have it. Not a sports podcast. I don't know. I don't even know. I don't know anything about sports. but I don't know

Aaron Rogers body language he's given like rich kid Lakehouse a little bit hasn't he always done that I don't know I thought he was like more chilled out now he's just like like everybody like somebody got hype and like jumped on him and he like screamed at him

he was like he did like he leave it to Broderick Jones to not only be the most liable to give up a sack against the opponent but then also give up a sack himself by tackling his own quarterback. Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know what I compared that too? Me and my sister were sitting there talking.

I was like, it's like, you know, when you're at a sleepover or something, or maybe you and your siblings and your cousins are all having a lot of fun. You're getting real hyped up, right? Real energetic. Probably how to mountain do, you know, some sour punch straw or something. You're getting wild. It's late. You're having fun.

You're jumping off of shit. But then one person takes it a little bit too far. then somebody gets a little pissed and you're like, ooh, I think it might actually be hurt. Probably shouldn't have done that. That's what that was. His head's bleeding.

His head's bleeding. That might be a hospital trip. Might be a hospital trip. Get the kitchen towel, put it on his head. It'll be fine. Do everything you can and your power to not have to tell any of the parents. Don't wake up your mom.

Don't wake up your mom. Hey, just lay back down on this towel. I think I did this one time. One time when I had to eat. your ache. My mom made me do this. It should work for your fractured skull. And anything, anything has to do with a foot or ankle or leg. You're like, just lay back, just prop it up. Let's just prop it up. Get him a pillow. Prop it up. Elevate. Elevate one ice cube on it. It's fine. Have you, I know you've had to have had that happen in high school or college, though,

when, you know, maybe there's a little bit of booze flying around. And, you know, maybe, maybe, maybe you're at a place that you weren't supposed to be, you know, somebody in an open house. Somebody takes a tumble and you're like, I'm pretty sure that's a fractured ankle, but like we got a, we got to, we got to ER this ourselves here so we don't get caught.

I was the one like cow tipping people, bro. Captain Cowtip. Dude, just if there is anything happening outside, dude, you'll see me on all fours behind somebody. Politsi was just a nightmare man The few times that I was with him in these instances It really was like I don't know Talk about a wild card

Like this dude hey You got the Jets jersey on for the second week in a row Like I was like this dude's like 2009 Jets Wildcard team that you don't want to see Dangerous In the hunt In the hunt Yeah

You know you had your you had your number one seed that was probably like Chiller who was just you know he was just that guy was showing up everybody was like oh wow he's here it's cool it's looking cool keeping it under wraps you know yeah yeah as it has everything together has home field advantage if you feel like and then you have polizzi who's just hey they're they're they're you know they're nine and six but they've won three straight and if they finish the season here watch out they're high going into the playoffs they got hot at the right time things announcers always say well they got hot at the right time it is pretty funny to i was since we're doing this on a saturday but i was watching game day yeah we talked about it

last week i forget which email it was but i was having my saturday morning had game day on was having coffee it's a little warmer that i like in central indiana right now but still like windows were open you're feeling good got game day on and then i was watching first half some of the games before i came down here and recorded it is really funny how you hear these analysts and commentators and the stuff they say has such emphasis. You know, they put such import on it.

But it's the most simple stuff. The most simple stuff. Yeah. I mean, people legitimately like Jesse Palmer was just, yeah, it's going to be key, I think,

for LSU to really establish the run so they can have a balanced offense here on the road. Bro, I just notice this now that they say the same thing every game for every matchup. You can always count on one of them being just like hey, they need to pressure the quarterback.

It's like, dude, no shit! Like, are you, I know, we know. But dude, every time I'm like, they do. I agree with them. See, what's going to be key is they're going to try to get home with four. If they can pass rush with four, then they can drop seven.

into coverage. That provides a lot of tough matchups down the field. Pressure off the edge. I know. We know. Desmond Howard was spewing a few of those, too. I think mostly about running the ball. I think it's going to be key to establish the run.

You could say that for anything ever. It's so funny. Both lines of scrimmage. This game is going to be won or lost in the trend. And the line of scrimmage. Whoever wins that battle up front, I think they're going to walk away with the W today. It's funny because at the end of the game, you never remember what they said before the game. So all that stuff doesn't even matter what they say.

It's just like you'll never, you'll never revert back and be like, damn, he did say that they needed to pressure the quarterback before the game. That's crazy. They're doing it. Like, I've never thought that once in my life. They really listened to him. Yeah. It's a good call. Man, I came out hot today.

That's what we like. Moulinard! Moulinard on a Saturday. And I kind of have something else too. And it's, it's not, you know, it makes me really sad. It makes me really sad, man. We're hot. We're hot.

I know this is a holiday podcast. Not a holiday podcast, but it is a holiday podcast. Oh, dude. I know you're here. I know you're talking about. I'm really, really, really struggling. I'm really struggling. struggling with how there's just nothing sacred anymore in terms of you tweeted about it.

Is this the least excited we've ever been for Halloween? You would think that Halloween just doesn't even exist anymore. What happened? In one commercial break this morning on Game Day, I saw two. In one commercial break, two Christmas commercials. Ooh, that's nice, but not really. Home Depot and Amazon hitting us over the head with it. Like it's really getting to the point.

Used to be five, 10 years ago. It was like maybe at this point of the year, you would see a Christmas tree commercial. Hey, you're starting to think about decorations. Now they're full on promoting items that they're selling. Nothing's sacred anymore. And it makes me sad for my kids

that they're going to grow up in a world because when we grew up, it was like October, Halloween. Holiday season. Yeah, everything. Life revolves around it. You knew in the back of your head that Christmas is coming and you're going to see that commercial probably like November 1.

That's fine. I didn't want to think about it though. But October, you all in all the stores decked out on Halloween, everything, candy everywhere. On TV, Halloween commercials for Taco Bell and Burger King and cereals and Pop-Tarts and candy commercials out the wazoo. Recy's commercials for Halloween, every commercial break. Every Nickelodeon, Disney channel, all like,

ooh, on the Thursday night fright night. Yeah. It just really bumps me out, man. Like, it just really, really, nothing's sacred anymore. Did we forget? I want to go up to people and snap in their face. Did we forget about Halloween this year? Because I put that tweet out and some people are like,

oh, it's different when you have kids. We're all in the spirit over here. And I'm like, I don't know, because it doesn't seem like you are. You have kids. I got two kids. I'm like, I guess it's coming up.

What month is it? And I love Halloween. That's been established on this show. That it's probably, I mean, it's easily top three for me. Holiday. I think it's climbing too,

but maybe not. I thought before this year, I was like, this is the most excited we've ever been for Halloween. And now, like when it comes down to it, I'm like,

I don't even know if people know. I don't even know if people know it's October. It's about to be the, we're about to be in there. I'm, I'm doing everything I can. I'm, me and my wife, we're force feeding it. We're trying our damnedest. We're going down to Brown County. We're going to Apple orchards and pumpkin patches. We're bringing out spooky season sweatshirts. We're trying to at night put on, you know, hocus pocus or whatever it is. That's crazy. Man, still not hitting. That happened to me one year for Christmas. It happened to be one year for Christmas. I mean you're on your career.

But honestly, for Halloween, I haven't even seen a Michael Myers TikTok. I haven't seen that. I'm like that. Dude, I should have been seeing that last month. Yeah. Where's that?

Yeah, you're right. Even on TikTok, dude, every third one I scroll, it's a TikTok shop ad for a Christmas item. Dude. I don't know. I don't even see it on my phone. own. That's the go-to.

Like, can't these, can't these, these people and these businesses, I know that we're in a capitalistic, materialistic society. And this is a little bit of a different, these guys are getting today. But like I said, I'm hot. I know that's where we live in. I know it's a, hot, hot, hot! It's a hot route. I'm willing to a hot route. Get your head around. Get to the sticks. Get out of bounds, right? Get your head around, dude. Holy cow, man. North and South.

As soon as that ball snapped, bro. Your head around, bro. Head around hot route, ready to goal. But just, just, you're going to get your sales. People are going to be ready. People are going to be more ready, I think, to spend money. If on, it's not October 10th and you're already getting the Home Depot Christmas commercial. I feel bad for-

ruining it. What's going to happen for Thanksgiving? I feel like that's already over. Halloween, we're not even talking about. Thanksgiving? I mean, okay. Okay. You look good.

It just really bumps me out, man. Did you have a, we were talking about Christmas, and we shouldn't be talking about Christmas, because we don't want to overshadow, but we have to talk about Christmas. Steve Snyder. But did you ever have a Christmas where you weren't in the spirit at all? Oh, yeah.

Do you ever have one of those? Bro, it's a weird thing, and you can't, like, determine any factors of why that's happening either. You're just like, how come I don't feel? I remember it was Christmas Eve and I was doing all the stuff. And I was like, I don't know. It's just not working. It feels like the first.

Like, there's no snow. Like, it's just not hidden. Bro, I don't know. I just couldn't get it together. And I was like, maybe I just don't care anymore. But the next year, I was like, what is it? For me, that was when I was like 18 and 19. Those were weird Christmas.

is. Oh, damn. Because it's such a, it's such a transitional period in your life. You're going from high school to college. You're feeling like I'm older than what I really am. You know,

you're kind of putting on a little imposter syndrome of, I'm a grown up now, but you're not. And it's, you're like, I think I'm done. Am I going to get presents anymore? I don't know.

You know? Like, I think it's over. So for 18 and 19 for me was, I was, I think it's just, you're just kind of in limbo. You're like,

the hell's going on here. Yeah. I think it was like a 20s. It was like a 20. Maybe it was like 24. It wasn't 18. I was always into it. Hey,

that would make sense though because that's like the year. If you were 24, that's right around the age you were the year before me and you started doing espresso. And I remember when we started doing espresso, I was like, Pulitzer's going to hate Christmas. I know. And you were like,

dude, I fucking love Christmas. That's my shit. I was like, oh my God. Like I couldn't believe it. So maybe maybe, maybe our,

first go around with espresso. That's when your Christmas kicked in again. It was. That was a good, that was a good Christmas, bro. You always remember. Dude, I'll say that about it every year, though.

That was a good Christmas. Hey, it's like, it's like, it's like the football commentators giving their opinions on things, you know? It's the same.

It's good Christmas. It's good Christmas. It's solid, you know, you're blessed. Yeah. 18 and 19 though It's just like what

I don't know This is you know You're not You can't really drink at the family Christmas get together It's right Kind of just want to hang out With your friends

God that's lame Yeah It's like lame But it's also not that lame Because you know You got you got homies and stuff But like it's still like bro Just put it away for a minute

Put it aside It's Christmas I still feel bad But it was kind of cool Because you've grown up your whole life, you're like, I'm not, I didn't, I didn't, like, hang out with my friends over on the entire Christmas break. Really, burpy boy. But there, there's a few, hey, get a little emotional. Oh, every, you get so sad. There's a few of those years, there's a few of those years around like 18 to 20

when, yeah, like on Christmas Eve night, I'd be, you know, fucking around with my friends once the family get together was over. And my sisters would be a little upset that I wasn't. Oh. No, no. You start hearing that you start hearing that song. Still. Dun, then, then,

then, I forget the name of it. The Christmas song. Stuff feeling a little, still feeling a little guilty there, you know. Old Big Road didn't come through. Guys talking about the world being too excited for Christmas and they're doing the

same thing right now. Pieces of shit, dude. I know. These guys. These guys. Well, I just get to the clubhouse too.

These guys. Team these guys at Gmail.com. Team these guys at Gmail.com. For the break. Will, uh... Sorry. Can you take us to break and go back real quick?

Real quick. Just pretend we go to commercial. Hold on. I was gonna... Hey, do you remember? Do you remember this? Do you remember this promo? My whole life, I've been told to write about what I know.

Now I'm being told about what... Fuck. My whole life, I've been told to write what I know. Now I'm being told to write what I think. This will be fun. Bruno's blog. Read Bruno's blog. 1.75.com.

Borg. My whole life, I was told to think about what I know. Now it's about what I think. Is he still on? I'll never forget. when we saw him at the meeting corporate meeting we had a corporate meeting

and it was like all the like the radio people on air me and Joey were in that bitch somehow and we're like just dying in the back I didn't listen to a word I was literally like why the hell I wouldn't a raise in my hand

and be like can I just leave this is the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life yeah you're just too busy staring at Big Joe's legs. Hey, bouncing. Big Joe's legs. Dear Lord. It's always it's always the big guy in the office that has to do the whole, I don't wear pants. I don't wear pants. Doesn't matter how cold it is. I'm wearing shorts. Hey, I run hot. Which I do, but come on. And then also, it's always the big grisly guy that just loves to wear flip flops. I'm like, dog, get your claw.

toes out of everybody's face. Harry. Oh my God. What are we doing? Walking to the sink, the break room. Maybe that's just in the media, the sports radio world. Not a sports podcast at all. We haven't talked about sports one time.

We should start talking about sports, maybe. Open up the audience a little bit. Open up the audience. Yeah, you know. Get some new listeners. All right. Team these guys at Gmail. Dead cam.

Let's go to Lou. User SWAT on Patty Mahomes and Madden 20. What? I don't know. Stationed out of these guys' poem? Poem? Here we go. Morning of first day off.

Kid is asleep. Wife is at work. Fresh pod to listen to. Madden 20. on. And then I get this gym of a play on the guy who's the cover of the game. How much better does life get than this? Slap my ass and run the damn tape. Oh, he's got he's got video. Oh, I got to download it. Who knows what I just downloaded. Oh, shit. Is it going? He sent a, uh, yeah, I'm trying to figure out like how, well, I guess I'll just describe it and then maybe in maybe post we can put

it in. It is. It's the Snapchat. It's the Chiefs against the Vikings and Madden 20. Chiefs are at the Chiefs are at like the 44 yard line, 43 yard line. Are you doing it?

Oh, here it is. Oh, nice. Look at that. Who's that? Jonathan Joseph, number 24? Oh, wow. We're listening. He's listening to us while that goes on. That's crazy. I got to watch this.

Oh, with this inside hand. Dude, that's technique. Yeah. Yeah. That's teach tape. Mechanic, I watch his tape. He's in the film room. Inside hand, bro. That is crazy.

It is a miracle when you do it. When I play video games, I'm not good at video games. But when I do user anything on video games, I'm like, oh! I try not. Not to get excited, but inside, dude. I pretend to act like it wasn't an accident too. I'm like, yeah, I did that.

For sure. I remember I used to, I would play Madden or NCAA, and I would try to actually read the defense and try to audible, you know? Like, I don't like the look of this, so I would go up and I'd check and audible to something else. If it worked, I was like, guess I'm going to be an offensive coordinator. Oh, yeah, what's up?

Chiefs calling me soon That's good I'm available Waiting for an email Waiting for an email From the Titans Go off and offensive analyst For a couple years

And coordinator Yeah Yeah go home to my mom and dad After that I'm kind of like Yeah mom and dad I've been thinking Like I think maybe

A football coach Is my route That I want to take All right son Well yeah If you're If you want to If you want to go for that

You know because I had two successful checks. What do you say that? Well, they're in man coverage and I was playing the computer and he was really close to Plexco Burris and Plexo Beres is tall so I just made him run a streak like at the line. Then I lobbed it up and he caught it.

So yeah, I'll be working for the 49ers next year. I audible to a fade because his press man just needed him to release outside. I slid the I did the offensive line to slide to the right during a running play So Then I ran the other way

With the quarterback side Mike Vic And he had 99 speed I saw it was a load of a stacked box To the strong side So I audible to counter To the to the weak side Uh, nay Now we're talking numbers, dude

You might You might be OC for like Burbuff or something next year guess I'm Clint Kubiak Call me Kyle Shanahan User pick though No better feeling

I know I'm kind of like I'm kind of like I own your soul To whoever I'm playing I'm like I own you now Just triangle Just the ball's in the air Triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle triangle

But when a guy does it He turns around and goes like this And then they run down the field 25 yards and score I'm like dude Like how Oh, my God. Let's go to Nathan.

Man snacks. Hey guys, football as well. Obviously, this isn't a food pod, but with all the football happening this fall, what is the best spread

of food to have at the tailgate? In my mind, you got to have some Miller lattes to drink. Appetizer would be some kind of dip, like buffalo chicken or seven layer. I'm always down for some fried chicken on the sides, but you can't go wrong with a burger or honestly some pulled pork.

Slat my ass with a basketball-sized candy out. while bobbing for apples of the pumpkin patch with the wifie. Happy healthy season. Nate. God, what a, like, he put down some number one picks right there, dude. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. So what's he thinking, like number one game day? I'm big on, I'm big on, and this actually happened at a tailgate that I was at Notre Dame. But if a kickoff is at noon or kickoff at 3, 3.30, I'm big on getting there early enough to fire up the grill and have some breakfast food out first.

So we're doing two servings. Crazy. Bacon. Eggs? You're doing breakfast food and give me some breakfast casserole and some biscuits and gravy. So much pepper. So much pepper on everything. Pepper, hot sauce.

Oh, all the accessories. Yep, yep, yep. some I don't know jalapagias are probably already in the and the breakfast casserole but you're trying to you're trying stuff you never tried you're at never tried

we're at tailgate yep some breakfast yeah yeah start off with I'd say I'm not a bloody merry guy that'd be acceptable but obviously a little bit mosa

okay you can do a little mimosa the thinnest glass the thinnest glass dude you could break the glass like it's a light ball dog Yeah, thinness glass So dainty And then you got a plate just full of crap

Yeah You know what I mean Like it's just Dude one of your hands is just Way and way low Your plate is full Hey it's so much You might have to put a plate on top of it

You ever see that guy That's a plate on top of a plate Yeah I'm just gonna be over here So bugs don't get on it Jesus dude So we're starting out with that And then in between that, you know, that's when I think like the fruit trays can come out. If you want to get a little something, you know, just to have something popping, you know, some strawberry, some fresh blueberries.

Okay. That's that's in between. And then all of a sudden, let's say if it's a 3.30 kick, let's say about noon, 1230, then you fire up the grill again. And we're doing, we're doing buffalo chicken wings with buffalo chicken dip as a side as well. and then sliders. I don't even think I could, I can't paint a better picture. What kind of sliders?

Like what are they? If we're getting real crazy, then you're going to have three options of meat. You're going to have a burger sliders. You're going to have chicken sliders and you're going to have a little peepee. Like sloppy Joe. Yep, a little peepee.

Can have a little pipy? Put some pee on my buns, baby. Put some peepee on my buns What do you want for the tailgate? Pee-P buns, please All day, every day. And you know what I'm taking first? Pee-P buns.

I'm not even like the burger and the chicken. Like, that's every day, man. You don't see Pee-P a lot. I know. You don't. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, actually.

Instead of chicken, we're going to have burgers. P.P. An Italian beef. More peppers. Did the more peppers the better on game day. Hey, tailgate, I am Julius Peppers.

I'm throwing up in my mouth all game, all day. Yep. Hey, need to have a little pocket pepsid. You make sure you have that thing. It's shaking around a little bit, that's fine. Kind of like your own You're like a personal rattlesnake You walk around with your pocket peps it

Instead of the cowbell at the game Just tom Let's go! Hey, hey, you don't know This is a true fact I did that game for the NBA finals Up in the Raptors at Cambridge Yeah

Oh, when you're 30 Yeah, it was me and DJC buck And the pace You know, game four didn't tip It's like 815 But of course like your pregame and party starting at like four.

So I knew what long road I had ahead of me. I went to JMV live at like 4.30. It was just out in downtown Indy. And so I knew I was like I need to have this. So I took I took Pepsid with me the whole time. Pepsiid. A little pepto-bizmal. That's great too.

Candy. It is. I drink that whole pink bottle. Let's go to William. William in Virginia Oh man Says Tevon Austin Dante Hall

Same guy Mm hmm Hey burpee boys First time long time I'm waiting on my nephew to be born So what better way to spend the time Than emailing these guys My brother-in-law is in the delivery room

With his wife And text it So your sister And texted me out of the blue About the Dodgers pitcher Yoshinobu Yamamoto absolutely dealing against the brewers. I know this isn't a sports podcast,

but all I can think of is when Ben talked about his kid asking him who Jason Seahorn is and losing it right after. Can't wait for that kid to ask his dad. Dad, Yoshinob Yamamoto. Eye pops his left eye doesn't open for two days. Well, you see, can't wait to start talking about him. Made me wonder,

Was there ever a time that you had an awkward encounter with a professional athlete? Mine is when I was in the bathroom. And as I left the stall, the dude next to me was leaving to. And it was former Virginia Tech QB and future NFL tight-in Logan Thomas right before he torched UVA. The whole game, I yelled, hey, I took a dump next to him. All right, I'm going to go ahead and go meet my nephew and see if the station is about this baby. Thanks for all the laughs each week. Best pot on the internet.

Slop my ass with a box of unopened dunkerooos that I just found in the back. of my pantry from 2007 and figure it's probably okay because those snacks were absolutely legendary sent from my LG Voyager Mm-hmm That's bunker food right there Bunker food

Bunker food There's just some food that you can eat 20 years after expires Animal crackers Animal crackers dude Any day of the week pretzels Bro give me a pretzel

from the Civil War gone. The staler, the better. Dunkeroo's. Yeah, what's wrong with those? There's nothing in that that can make me sick. The more your mouth is like sawdust after you bite a pretzel, the better. Do you just cut a two by four and eat all the wood on the ground? No, I just had one rolled gold pretzel from 2004.

Are you putting in the new deck? What is all this? Are you, Nope, no. Just the, just the nuggets. What is that fucking the pretzel knuckles or whatever? Dude,

I think there's called pieces, which is harder than ever. Pieces. I was like, oh! And they started doing that, just the chunks and shit. I was like,

this is crazy. This is, pretzels used to be an innocent thing. They started doing Buffalo Wild Wing Pretzels. I was like, God dang. Yeah, yeah. That's fire. Sawdust mouth.

What was? Yeah. Old Beaver mouth over there. I won't stop eating the pretzels. What was the question? The noise. Yeah, it's just your mouth. A pretzel, let me get one.

Hey. the pretzel rods? That's what it is, the pretzel rods. Guys building the dam. Oh, yeah, when you see that truck with that, like, wood chipper thing that's always like outside your house once every two years.

And they're just throwing trees in it. I'm like, Jesus Christ, who called you guys? Like, this is our yard. Scary. Dude, for real. God, the way I wanted to throw a vortex football on that thing, just watch it. That's all.

How many tennis balls can I throw on that thing while they're not looking. That's your mouth when you're eating pretzels. The wood chipper outside of your house on a weird Tuesday in July. I'm like, good Lord. Yeah, how the day of the year. What do they? What's that schedule look like?

They'll just pop up. Oh, yeah, we're trying to job. Oh, my God. That's one of those, dude. I saw one the other day. Not the wood chipper guy, but I was like walking on from the, gym at like weird 11 p.m.

Didn't even know they did this in Hollywood walking on Hollywood Boulevard where there's like stars and stuff. You know what I'm talking about? And they, there's a guy that comes out and just power washes the whole entire sidewalk. But it's not like a power washer that you'd buy at like Home Depot. It's like some like

industrial. Oh my God. Dude. Government power washer. Yeah. And I looked at him and I was like, I had to give him a nod. Like I never look at those guys. doing that kind of stuff, but this guy was like and he's like, yeah, dog, I got the best job of all time. I almost was like,

yo, can I get it? Can I get a hit? Like, do I need to have like some license? Or can I get on that real quick? Like, I just looked amazing. He asked, do you ever had an awkward encounter with a professional athlete? Everyone ever, really.

I don't know. I've never met an accident. athlete that I'm like, oh, you're just, you just play for the, in the NFL. It's always weird. I'm like, dude, what's going on with this? Why can't we just talk like normal people? What about, uh, when we interviewed Victor Olatipa? Oh, you know what? That was actually kind of normal. He was kind of down. He was, he was, he was, he was cool, but all the surrounding circumstance was so just, geez, bro. I mean, right. Yeah. You can never, you. We had to go through like three different people who interrogated us

what we were going to ask him and stuff. I was like, we're just literally going to ask him like what his favorite Pop-Tart flavor is. It's just easy stuff, man. Nothing, nothing big. Nothing big. Are you going to get traded this off season?

Um, I'd say, one with Pat McAfee, it's not really, it really isn't that bad, but I was interning at Bob and Tom when I was a senior in college. And McAfee You used to go on that show a lot

When he was still playing And he was in The Green Room one day And so of course I was like I didn't need anything from the green room But I went back there to act like I did Because I wanted to try to You know

Bump into Pat McAfee And see what happened And so I got back there And I was wearing a Steelers pullover and he I forget who it might have been Vibbert honestly but somebody else back there like introduced me and Pat Pat was very cool but he was like

oh you from Pittsburgh buddy and I said I just go yeah yeah my family You fucking lied Oh my god I think he lied out of the gate. Keep going. And he goes, yep. Yep.

And he goes, what part? Oh, no, dude. Know your facts, babe. Show your work.

Yeah. So from that point on, I always, uh, I always know that I just go to, uh, my old line is cranberry, cranberry township.

My dad went to cranberry high. Is that fake or real? That's real. You're from Pittsburgh now, dude. It's real. But he didn't, I think I fessed up. It was over 10 years ago at this point.

I'm trying to remember exactly. But I remember, like, that definitely did happen. Caught in a lie, bro. Yeah. But he was cool about it. Hey, when I met you, I said I was from Pittsburgh. I was just wanted to impress you. Because I love you.

I'm really just from down the road. No, I mean, I've always just found like it's just easier, you know? because I don't have to do the whole, everybody, like most of the time, people just accept it. Yeah. Because I don't want to have to do the whole,

well, see what, you know, and so they weren't. And then my dad and then this, but just, most of the time, if people say that,

you're like, yeah, I got family out there. Ah, man, if that checks out. Whatever. Caught in the lie,

bro. I did it the other day. I went to Target. I was wearing a Ravens jersey to, like, cut a promo. This guy checking me out who I kind of, like,

like a target relationship with. He's like my daughter. dog in there. It's like, oh man. You guys think you'll win the division this year? And I was like, oh yeah, like acting like, I knew anything about that. He's like, well, what about that game on Monday? What do you think? And I was like, I didn't even know who they played. I said, I didn't keep acting like, I'd keep acting like a Ravens fan. I said something like, yeah, you know how that goes? Like just saying all the stuff. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, we got to establish the run.

Yeah. Well, if we bring pressure, you know how that goes. But then he was like, who they got next week? And I go, dude, I'm just wearing this jersey. I don't even like, I confess, bro. I was like, I don't even, it's just a, never mind. And I just grab my stuff.

He was quiet for the rest of the time, like printing out of my receipt. And now that, now that relationship's done. Every time. I don't go, I don't walk by him anymore. I'm like, at the end of that conversation, he goes, good luck. I was like, dude. Oh man, I'm trying to think of some. I mean, because I've been pretty lucky.

Like I've been around a lot of them. Gronk was kind of different. Like, he was cool. But I just caught him in like a weird time. He'd just been going so much and he was super tired. And like he didn't, at first he didn't realize because the Fandul people brought me. They're like, yeah, like come eat gronk. Like that would be awesome.

and, you know, he'd be cool. He said, yeah, like, you'd love to meet you. And I was like, great. But then we were backstage, and I go back there, and I walk in, and he's, like, just sprawled on the couch, like, half asleep almost. And they, like, introduced me, and he just, like, kind of reaches this huge pall up from lying down. And didn't clock with him at first, who I was.

He thought I was just some like. Yeah. And. But then it finally did. He was like, oh, so you're the impersonator, huh? I was like, I guess. So you're the imper. That's so funny.

That's a good one. Yeah. If they, if dudes like that know who one of us is, that's crazy, dog. Because they know everybody. He was like, he was like, I really liked your bill. I don't know. if I like what you do with me too much but I like your bill

bro you got him nailed down you know why he doesn't like it because it's more him than him holy shit that's crazy I do it more I see more like comedians and stuff comedians yeah

and they're always pretty normal people it seems like they're not like I've never really met anybody that I'm like Jesus Christ they're always like down just to talk yeah and I didn't I mean, and in that world too, like, I feel like it's a different times too

because everybody's kind of just so like locked in on what they're, you know what I mean? Like if they're getting ready to go up or they just came off, that's kind of a weird like buffer zone. You know, you don't really like bother people because you're trying to. You know that, dude. Not a lot of people know that. But like before and after.

I'm like, can you shut up? Like, give me one minute to like just figure out where I am. You know what? dude, it could be Jesus Christ himself. And if I was getting ready to go on in like two minutes, I'd be like, dude, I, let me lock in. And then like, yeah, the first five minutes after I come off,

I was like, I got debrief. I got to go run a lap to like get all the adrenaline out of me. Go take a 30 second long piss and question my life. or you'll get real you'll get like some real honesty out of them too like right I remember talking to Theo Vaughn one time right after he got off stage and I wasn't trying to talk to him I was just like in the same area as him and I was just like I just like nodded him and he was leaving and probably going to do another show

and he was just like bro I don't even know what that was We're all the same He's like, I don't even know if I should have done that And I was like, you gotta do it when you don't want to And he goes, now you're right about that And then he's just like kept walking I was like, this is the normal guy How many times you run into him?

I don't know, probably like a handful of times That's the only time I really like talk to him I don't like being like, hey, what's up dude? Because just everybody's doing that Trying to network with comment. I'm like, I'm not, bro, you got places to be. Like, just, oh, I'll run into it. We can talk whenever that happens.

But I'm not trying to, like, force. I'm like, oh, no, uh? Get out of here. I should be better at networking, but I know, like, unless it's like a very, like, organic thing, I'm probably not going to say anything. You ever done anyone like a, like a Sandler or Seinfeld pop in? I feel like you would have told me immediately.

Yeah, that's never happened. I think that's a rare thing. Yeah, so those are just a few there. William, fun question. Yeah, good one. This is from Adam. He says, New Year's is over. Wow, please.

Longtime listener, first time emailer. First off, just want to shout you guys out for the content every week. Espresso fam and Clubhouse episodes keep the week rolling. Keep up the great content. God, you're a dog, bro. Thank you. Appreciate you, Adam. Appreciate it.

I was listening to one of the most recent episodes while I work when I looked at the home ring camera. I noticed my dog had literally shit all over the living room. And pure panic, I slammed my laptop closed while on a meeting with my boss and raced home from the office. Couldn't help but think of Benny when I walked in my house after sprinting home in traffic and saying, it literally smells like shot. And okay, when I shook my head into feed, realizing I had to clean it all up. Oh, my God. All with these guys episodes still playing in my headphones.

There we go. I, dude, I feel you there, Adam. Bobby, our new one. This guy, dude. I mean... All over the place? Just... Last time I came over, I noticed you guys were, like, mad at him, I think. Because I was like, they're not showing love to the new pub.

What's going on? I was like, are we not messing with him like that? And I just felt the vibe. I was like, I don't know if I can pet you right now, dog. I think people are mad at you. He's just great, and I love him. He's just six, seven months. months old so he's a literal baby and he's just you know like sometimes we have to create him at night

because he is just insane and so sometimes we create him at night and then man there's like three days in a row that I would wake up in the morning me and Frank are going downstairs and I could just smell the shit and the dude's just shit and his crate everywhere so that it's like 7 a it's like 7 am I'm outside basically my boxers and slippers hosing down the crate while he's sprinting around inside and Frank's freaking out because he wants a bar or an orange or something and then I literally think about him like me and Ben just couldn't have more of an opposite life

that's what makes it good though I know I think about that is when I wake up sometimes I'm like I can't even imagine what he's doing right now and it's always something like that too I'm like I'm just waking up and going to the gym like kind of peace and quiet I'm like dude Joey's probably chasing his dog down the road right now like late for four things I'm like I don't even know how I don't even know. I don't,

and I don't want to know. It is, it is part of what makes it work. The odd couple dynamic. And yeah, I mean, I love it. I'm 100% me and you're 100% you.

That's good. That's just how it goes. He did have a question here. He said, wanted to ask if you all, if you have any stories of pets doing something to your house while at work or just getting in trouble with hunt day

for something the dog slash pet did. Slop my ass with a pair of freshly worn breadfar of Wrangler jeans. after one of his backyard football Wrangler commercials, not a Packers or Sports Podcast, sent from my school-issued Dell laptop that we wheeled in on that big ass card every other month that I only used to make Nike ID shoes that I never bought.

Oh, yeah. Oh, made the hardest Nike ID shoes on that thing. So insane that there's just people out there who really, they're just like us. It's great. Thanks, Adam. Hope to hear from you more. Yeah, I mean, I just told kind of recently what's been going on.

in my house with with pets and yes my my hunt aid is not happy that's probably why you know the clubhouse the wife the misses she runs the show all right in the household I'm a firm believer I was raised this way and now I'm I'm in a I'm in a marriage this way if mama ain't happy nobody happy all right and so that's probably what you're feeling Ben is that my wife is she's really struggling, getting very frustrated with the new dog. So then that kind of spreads around to everybody. But.

Yeah, I felt it. I was like, all right. We'll make this quick. I won't hang around it for too long. What? You didn't really grow up with pets, so you probably don't have any of that. Nah, I never really had a big pet thing.

Yeah, not really. We'd have a dog. It wasn't one of my own. It was a family dog. And it was just a nightmare situation where the dog was, it's a little yap dog. And it's a puppy. We'd just gotten it fairly recently. Yeah.

One of my homies was over. One of my, one of my homies, we were like 18 or 19. And so one of my great friends who still great, great friends with him. he was over and crashed. I think I might have had an open house, honestly. Anyways, he crashed and he had this sick new era hat. I think it was Cleveland.

I think it was like this crazy alternate throwback, Cleveland Indians, new era hat. Oh, God. Oh, God. And, you know, when you crash at night, like he took it off. and the damn yap dog being a puppy, like got a hold of it

and and ripped rip through it pretty good and so that was a tough conversation to have the next morning when you found this hat like that. Did you have to get Patrick Heckman a new hat? Not even, not even close. I don't think I've ever seen that dude wear a hat. I thought about it too, but I was like, this is kind of a funny name.

pull. That is. You know it is. I'm sure you could gather from the type of hat. I want to see if you get it. No. I don't want to be wrong again. But you know, dude, you know. It's like

one of those. I always guess wrong, bro. I don't want to. It's one of those that like, you're like, I don't know. I don't know if I could pull that off, but then like these dudes can. I would say Riser for that. He's a hat guy. Be Dylan Evans.

Oh, damn. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's like, oh, God. You don't really know how to handle it. Hey, sorry, man. My dog messed up a hat. I don't think so.

I think I probably should have. Sorry, Dylon. I'll Venmo you this weekend. No, absolutely won't do that at all. Do you imagine that? Do it right now on the pod live. 40 bucks. that hat my dog messed up

40 years ago that'd be so crazy I got an origin story it's not even it's just a story it has nothing to do with with these guys but it made me think of this situation thank God so same situation

we're probably like night same situation we're probably we're probably 19 18 or 19 and like at the house that I lived at that time. You were at that house at the tail end. You missed that house.

You always talk about the one with the basement. Sick. Sick house. Perfect basement. Yeah. It was great. And so I always had a lot of get-togethers and parties and stuff when we were that age. Basketball hoop in the backyard?

Yep. Yeah. My parents were. My parents were. They were cool. Like they got it. They're just like, hey, like we'd rather have, I'm not talking about like, they weren't like, feed, you know, alcohol was not.

They weren't like feeding us alcohol. But they were just like. when I say like they would rather have let me have parties and get-togethers at my house because they're like, we'd rather have you guys all here than just like driving around doing God knows what. There's just that kind of thing.

So one night, shit, this might have been an open house too, honestly. Sorry, mom and dad. Anyways, one night.

Where are you going, bro? I don't know. Where are they going? My sister played softball and shit. Yeah. Weekend turn. one night there's probably like Jasper. Just like 10 of us, 12 of us

and some some girls crashed two. Crash. And it was it was so yeah, they crashed and like it was just whatever and

overnight one of one of the dudes who was there he had a few too many king cobras I think but he, He, like those 40 ounce. Oh. He got up and he mistakenly,

he mistakenly thought he's in the bathroom and he wasn't. And so he pissed and he pissed all over this one girl's shoes. Like on, you know, just didn't have any idea. And so I woke up the next morning and we were like, oh my God, this girl, she realized that he did. Or no, she realized that it was happening while it was happening. like the next morning is one of those when you're recapping the night

and they're like, oh my God, yeah, what the fuck? They're better when you. And the dude just like pulled out like three crusty $1 bills and was like, here, like tried to give him to her. Three bucks.

You're like $3? What's I got to get her? A shoelace? What the hell? Dude, people pee in everywhere. How come that's a thing? Because that happened at my house one time.

Bro woke up and asleep, peed in the refrigerator. Hey, open house. Just like, dang. Yeah, that had to be open house at my... Actually, no, somebody peed in my refrigerator and my mom was just like my mom was watching them. Like, it was like morning. My mom, you know how your mom gets up like 5 a.m.?

I think my mom was on computer. Bro just got up and peed all in the like freezer like drawer. Wow. So is there just something he did? Or is he just that smacked? It might have been a little bit of both. Yeah. I don't know how we got there, but we got there.

This is from Kevin, not a 2000 sports podcast. Boy, his new listener, who's going to be a long-time listener. So I'm talking about. Love house official. Take yourselves back to middle school playing backyard football with the crew. You're going out for a slant route in your head. Who are you imagining yourself to be? grew up in Sincey during the Chad Johnson eight years,

so I know my answer should be that, but for some reason I was obsessed with Donald Driver from Green Bay. Thanks for all the laughs. Kevin, sent for my family's car phone. What? Slant God. Who's always taking slants to the crib? Oh, yeah, that's a good question.

Is it kind of like, nah, not Jordy Nelson was always going up top. Is a slant god kind of Dante Hall, kind of Tyreek Hill? I'm just trying to think of when we were that age kind of Antoine Randallel L somebody in the slot Hey hey hey hey kind of kind of Brandon Stokely I was going to say that first bro

Like when like when he was talking about running his slant I was like oh my God Hey kind of Wes Welker Marvin Harrison didn't really Marvin Harrison Sr. He didn't really get down like that Deep threat dude he was saying away from contact. Yeah, he didn't like to get hit.

I don't think he was, didn't, it wasn't that he didn't like to get hit. I just think he was like so smart. Like when he played dead that one time, I was like, bro. Yeah, yeah. That was crazy. That's insane.

Nobody touched him. Dude. Not a sports podcast. Not a local podcast. Hey. That was on Monday, I think. It's Tio, dude. T.O. Slant God, big body,

getting up in there. sit, dude, on the goal line, he was more of a slant guy than a fade guy for sure. Yeah, on the goal line slant, but then also, too, like, from the other opposite 20, from your own 20, he'd take a slant 80 yards. T.O. is D.K. Metcalf.

You could still play. I swear to God Tio. Sign him. Somebody just signs Tio, please. It's probably one of those Seahawks guys, too, honestly. I can never name any of the Seahawks receivers besides D. Doug Baldwin. Or, like, there's another,

one. Same guy. Doug Baldwin. I think there's another one. I don't know. Tyler Lockett. Yep. Baldwin Lockett.

Kiss? Not sports podcast. Welcome, Kevin. Glad to have you. God, that was so great there. Welcome, Kevin. Glad to have you. On the other side, we're talking who you'd rather have.

And the slut. All right, from Dave. It's a good question, bro. I would stay through the commercial to listen to that. Who are they going to say? Dude, if you had to have, if you had to have somebody catch a slam for you, who would it be?

In the history of the world. Jeff Samarja. It's weird because I was going to say Golden Tate. I don't know why. Hey, we woke up the echoes with that one. Golden Tate was a deep bomb. He was just a bomb waiting to happen, bro. Dude, get him the ball as much as he can, not a sports podcast.

From David says, extracurriculars. I love slash hate when announcers call fights extracurriculars. Sounds so dumb, but it's also hilarious. Any stories from your playing days of fights you and or your teams were involved in? Akeeb Talib. Dude, extracurricular God. That's your... Extra curriculars going down there.

Huh? No, Akeep Taleb is it. extracurricular god. Oh, yeah. Bro, always up to no good. Kind of scary. Do you remember when he he was a broadcaster

randomly for like one game? What? Yeah, he did an NFL game. Is he good? I don't really remember. He just got such a distinct voice. Uh, I love how the Patriots

would just bring guys in after they're kind of like washed and they would just resurrect their entire career. I keep to leave, dude. I was like, he's the best corner ever on the Patriot. Daryl Revis for that one year. Did he kind of do some stuff or no?

Yeah, he was on that team that won the Super Bowl. God dang, man. Extracurriculars. Derell Rebus, that is the, that is the DB helmet, by the way. That's a DB face mask. Derell Rebus. Wow. Yeah.

It's pretty good. it is a little intimidating too um nah I never really you played longer than I did did I ever get in a fight you played a different no

um one time we were playing I never like got like you know under the pile people do stuff too you know you always hear that I never happened to me until we played Decatur Central bro yeah that checks out

I didn't even know it was a thing bro, but they would kick me in the balls every single time I was down there and I was just like, is anyone ever gonna see this? It was kind of crazy. I started laughing at it like after the second one. I was like, oh, you guys are doing this a whole game? This is great.

It's like a game within a game. Because I'd forget and I'd be like down there and like, you know, okay, I gotta get up. Then somebody would just come up, that's stuff. Just beat Decatur Central? we did it was kind of it was kind of a big win for the boys they had like some sneaky

homecoming kind of it's something like that they had some sneaky like really good players a lot of good players come out of Decatur Central and I'm like what the hell is going where do you get these guys the tracies that like ones are running back for the tracy yeah well he was um no I don't we never really maybe some verbal spats

there's always one at like a spring game in college just because like it doesn't really matter tired tired to see in the same uniform yeah and it like spring game is the last you don't practice after the spring game so it's like bro you could like punch somebody in the face what's gonna happen like we're done till fall you don't think coach or him's gonna remember

yeah but it's not you're not gonna do anything crazy and you kind of just want to get a little riled up down there and I remember like dude we had we kind of had one and like you you have no choice but to like pull somebody off or like push somebody like you're not just gonna like sure you gotta do something

push them pull them do something and it was kind of it was kind of going down I have no idea and I was just looking I was looking around I was like I got to like I guess I got to like push somebody out of the way and I looked and it was just huge de-lineman we had bro and he just looked at me and he goes yeah right bro I was like, yeah, you're right, dude.

Didn't do shit. I always wanted to get into a baseball fight so badly. Those are probably the most, like, hype fights I've ever seen in my life. Because it takes like... It takes like five seconds for the batter to be like, I'm doing it. And the pitcher's always like, come on then.

Bro, they never are like, stay back. The pitcher's like, let's go, bitch. Nothing used to fire me up more than when... I feel like it doesn't happen very much anymore. But when we were growing up, I feel like at least a few times of summer, even sometimes under the play, like there was always some sort of scuffling going on. In baseball? Yeah. Like how?

What do you mean? I don't know. I feel like you're not even like, what do you mean? Like a scuffle in baseball, like a pitcher. Like somebody would, yeah, somebody get thrown at. Yeah. The guy they'd get thrown at. Then they'd start it maybe like the one would charge the mound.

Then all of a sudden you'd have a full on bra going on. I didn't know that happened out like summer league I just thought that happened like in the pros kind of Oh no That's what I'm saying It's like I never happened with me

But I'm talking about like I would see him in Major League Baseball Yeah, like damn That would kind of be like You gotta have your homie side Everybody's just you know It is It's just a straight up brawl

Everybody's kicking the shit out of each other For like 15 seconds you know Lingering on the field Bullpins come sprinting now. Do guys get suspended for that? Yeah. Yeah. All right. I didn't know if it was like hockey where it was like,

all right, you can fight, but like you can't play the rest of the game. It's always crazy too, because I feel like it would happen where it would be like kind of the cool level-headed guy on your baseball team. I remember Derek Lee for the Cubs. Yeah. Well, what's up? You stepped on a B? Okay.

Um, okay. I'll wrap up. Okay. Okay. It seems like I got a situation and I got a goal. Bro, I've stepped on a B before. That's a real thing.

Yeah, no, I believe it. Go ahead. Go ahead. Goal and goal. Okay. Uh, well, right on Clubhouse. Um, you know the deal. Subscribe.

Rate, review. Follow us. If I take us a live show in December 22nd, go see Benny Live. And, um, yeah. Antoine Bethay. Frank Isola. ESPN.

Station, all about that.