THESE GUYS! - Is It Fall?

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

this week the burpy boys realize they were too scared to be class clowns🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 ��𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?variant=41218692775993

I'd beat your ass if I was your dad. I'd beat your ass if I was a boyfriend that was watching you that one time. I'd just beat, we just beat your ass. Nice. Puerto Rico. We love Puerto. Two coffees. Two coffee guy.

A zip and a motherfucking double cup. T.J. 30 and a double cough. Eight. Yes. A zip and a double cough. I'm good. I'm getting high. High is high.

I'm getting. I fucked that up. A zip and a double cough. I'm gonna have a stroke. A zip in a double cough. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a stroke. A zip and a double cough.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna play some golf. Two coffees, two coffees, bro. Three coffees on the table. You can't see. Hey, can we have some more drinks on the table?

We have floating coffees here because Ben doesn't like the table in the shot. Every week, we talk about it for 16 minutes before the show. And then we do it. And then he texts me after. once the whole shows live and just like, do you think, what is it?

Do it look like we're sitting on toilets? It does kind of look like that. I was like, ew. I imagined us sitting on toilets and I was like, I can't watch this anymore. I deleted the podcast from everything. Delete the whole channel. I'm good.

Well, there you go. That's a good. Two guys taking shit. That's a good plug for our YouTube channel. We are really sniffing. We're just right at the edge of that. Ever, ever changing, ever, what you're always chasing,

that 1,000. on YouTube. So 1K. Go ahead and hit that subscribe. Send it to five friends. Send to seven friends, if you will. And, you know, if we get a return rate of two or three on that, then great. And little known fact here.

If we get up to 10K subscribers on YouTube, we can sell merch on YouTube. So please do that. Because we also do have merch. Yeah. Go to benedictmerch.com. I love our merch right now. Yeah, it's really cool. Well, these guys clean right in the center.

We got a these guys hat, plenty of colors for Father's Day. I said it. I said it. Yeah. I said it. Getting ready to celebrate my first Father's Day as a father. Very excited. What are you going to get, bro?

A tie? Hopefully. It's like you think about that shit growing up and you're like, man, we're so lame for getting my dad dad. Or like, my dad has to hate this shit. Man, what an eye roll. As a dad, I'm like, give me a weird bed and breakfast situation and give me a weird bed and give me like a pamphlet that's colored by Frank kind of with like his little hand on there.

God. I'll frame it and put it on my desk and cry out of every day. That would hit so hard. When I was a kid, I was like, my mom wants me to write her like a note or make her a card. I was like, you don't want like something cool from Target. But now like looking at that, like, because whatever you buy them, they already have or it's just like some bullshit. Or they could just buy themselves. Right.

I was like, I'm going to get some, I'm going to get dad some new athletic. shorts because I hate his. I got him the wrong size. He's probably like, what the fuck? I wore him the next two years as like boxers under my shorts. That's the rule. Whatever you get your dad for Father's Day, it's just yours for the next five years. Hey, dad, I got you some razor blades that I'm going to use and take with me in my toiletry bag. Hate that word. Hey, well, we're sitting on toilets, so we're talking toiletries. But, wait, real quick, in the comments, let us know. Do you like our shit? Do you like what we got going on here? The visual of it. Like, what? what you're looking at.

Yeah, there you go. You like our shit. A lot of toilet talk, here we go. You know, a lot of pods kind of have a similar setup look. And we're not going for that.

But, you know, we just want people to be like, ah, yeah, this is good. I like throwing on these guys on my TV, you know,

my Roku, my streaming or whatever the hell. I like throwing these guys on because it's just a good funnel time and the visual is comforting. I like it looks good. It's low key. So just,

let us know. I feel like I haven't, I feel like we recorded like three weeks ago. Has this last week felt like I'm like, when did we even record last week? It felt like a month ago. When I woke up this morning, it felt like I,

I don't know, bro. I didn't know where I was. Like it feels like it's been years since I've seen you. I was super excited. I was like, cool. Get to come in, get to do these guys,

get to see Ben. Like, I feel like it's been forever. It was like we took a year off. What happened? I don't know. It was just last Monday, right?

Or Tuesday. I'm trying to think of what I had on my sketch. schedule, but I woke up with crust in my eyes and shit. I was like, whoa, hey, what? Mm-hmm. Old crusty eyes sleep. Like, why? Why does that happen randomly? I woke up and I was like, oh. Imagine, like, you know, your situation, you know, you're a single guy as far as I know, and you have some lady come over, you're spending the night with some lady, and then you wake up and you, you know, you had a crust eye sleep. So you're just like, morning. Nothing worse than that, dude.

the amount of things I can go wrong in the morning when there's a girl in your bed. I'm like, oh no, what did I say? Every time I, because I'll forget and I'll wake him and be like, ah, fuck. Right. Well, and sometimes, you know, I think that there's a bad connotation, you know, if it's so like, yeah, he was gone before I even woke up. And it's like, it's not because he's being disrespectful. He was honestly being more respectful to you. Oh, yeah.

Save him from your breath. You don't want to see me. You don't want to see you. Save her from seeing you. put your socks on your weird feet. I'm sleeping with those babies on. You're shitting me? You can't get my socks off, bro.

Just around a lady or just in general? All day, every day, every time I sleep, my socks are on. That's wild. If a girl's like, ew, what the hell? You're psycho. I'm like, well, I'm psycho and stay in the night. Would you rather the opposite here? You didn't get that gone.

I'm much. Like, why are people so against that? I don't want to see anybody's feet, really. I guess it makes sense. I guess it makes sense for like... Especially dudes. Yeah, well, yeah, that's... It makes sense for the first, like, the first few times you're getting, you know, you got to break down some walls before you can show the feet.

Yeah. That's a dude, mine are... Mine are such a joke. Old Chris Cross toes over here. Man, you're really... You're really... It is so funny. Something.

You need to put those fuckers in a museum. After you die. Halloween Museum. What the they're gonna start mass producing yours to put in like Spirit Halloween.

Oh, that's my dream. Fuck a Hall of Fame like head. I want my feet at Spirit Halloween. Oh my God. People are,

people put them on like their slippers, but they're... Benny feet. Oh, man. That is literally my new goal. What's the end game with your career?

Stand up. You're in TV shows. I just want my feet at Spirit of Halloween. Who doesn't want to be a part of Spirit of Halloween? God, now I just want to be freaking August 15th. Oh, dude, why is it cold today? I know this isn't fucking relatable, but it's cold today in India. Oh, yeah. And I, this just happened. Like, I guess I kind of like knew, like just my, my, my weather sense, but literally I woke up this morning and I was, you know, getting out of the shower and I was like, man, I'm going to put these joggers on. And I was like,

man, I'm going to put that Travis Matthew Longslee. I want to be cozy. And I was like, why I'm going to be cozy? Because I want to be driving around at 1045 and it's going to be 52 degrees. Yeah. And it felt great. I'm getting a little bit of, dude,

I just, I wish it was fall. I wanted to be August 14th so I can see my first Spirit Halloween and know that we're on that trajectory. God, I love a Spirit Halloween. The way they just put a store front up

in 24 hours at an old Toys R Us. I'm like, ah! But it's the most fun store ever. I want to work there. The music. It is so,

like how would you get sick of working there? They have like a mini haunted house like in the middle at some of them. Yeah. It's like you go in there and you're like, I won't be scary, but you're like, I don't really want to go on there. No.

Every time I walk in Spirit Halloween, I'm like somebody's going to stab me. Like, you know, like one of those things. Yeah, yeah. It's going to get me.

Yeah. I'm always like, I don't want to walk too close to the sensor. Mm-hmm. For sure. Love a Spirit Halloween. It's going to love me more when they got Benny feet in there. Benny feet.

Some people are dressing up as a weird like scarecrow thing. Benny feet. Some people want to be a hobbit. Benny feet. Got to have Benny feet. Hey, so we do have that email team these guys at gmail.com. We've been pumping it here recently.

Mail time, baby. Had some fun ones last time. Mail time. Were you in on blues clues? Is that a part of year? Big BC guy. Good, good, good. Big BC guy.

All right. I think we're, I think everybody's BC fam. Does anybody like, I've never heard BC slander. No, but I just, what's funny is now I hear it because it's like a generational thing, right? And now people are pissed because our generation, they're like, they don't do mail time. They have email time. Oh, really?

Yeah. Well, I mean, that makes more sense. He doesn't read out of a book. It's a tablet. Oh, seriously? Yeah, no, really. Do they draw the clues still? Because that's slapped.

Probably like on an iPad. Like a, you know, like the. Something about them drawing those clues. with that crayon, however you want to say it on blues clues. It just hits. I was like, it's perfect.

Mail time. Yeah, I just didn't know if you, because I even kind of felt like I was like, I feel like I'm one of the older demos here. You know, it's kind of like I maybe shouldn't be watching Blues Clues.

Like it was too young. Or just like, I was too old for it. So I didn't know if you were already in like second grade. But Blue's Clues had a pretty long run. Bro, I was watching weird shit when I was like 17. I remember 14. I was like still in love with like Spider-Man cartoons.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll watch a little BC when I'm 17, bro. Still entertaining. All right. So we got some more this week. And we'll fire it up here with Eric with a K. Oh, this is deep.

What up, boys. And I told you, I haven't read any of these yet, but I've just been following coming in. What up boys? These guys. Just want to drop a note. said these guys is without a doubt my favorite pod out there today and a world full of two guys talking type podcasts that won joey and tic-tok you definitely stand out i'm from new england but now living in socal and it's interesting hearing what indiana and the rest of your midwest area is like really enjoy

it and now i want to go to the kentucky derby or the indy 500 dude do both man eric dude do put it and iny five are they back-to-back weekends no it's the first week in may and the last week in a bro it's perfect also some of the super niche church references as a kid i could definitely relate to lMAo keep up the good work and please read my dms ben fucker's his name huh all right maybe he's got an offer you gave a fuse um that's good that's thank you man wow so new england going out to so cow cow man so you really doing the uh coast coast coast you really flew right over us come on eric costa coast bang uh sorry mike stop in indiana Appreciate that.

Ooh, this is from Janessa. What a name. Need relationship advice. Please. That's the subject here. Hey you got. Hey you guys. Sloth voice.

So I'm thinking sloth from the Goonies. Nice reference. Never seen that. I fucking love you too. Quite the duo. Five stars for sure. Thank you, Janessa. Love you.

Here's the deal. I'm in a new relationship with this guy. he's great in so many ways. However, I truly can't tell if he's into me. I'll send him a nude or a sexy video and he will reply with emojis and say nothing else. I typically need it. I need,

why can I not read? I typically need it used to words of affirmation which he doesn't do very much. He is very much an acts of service gifts type of guy, sent me flowers the other day, does sweet things for me, what to do the show that he cares. But for some reason,

I can't get over that he doesn't reassure me. I'm trying to figure out if it's worth putting energy into it having a combo or seeing if it gets better with time or if it's simply not worth it. I'm a 29 year old female. He's a 39 year old male. I throw that in because I'm getting to that age and maybe he is stuck in his ways. Ooh. You two are the shit. Slap my ass. Oh, okay. Yeah. Slap my ass. Okay. You already know. Thanks for laughs. That's all we do. So you get all that? Yeah. Okay. You go first. What do you think? I would just, I would tell them that. Because some people, like, dudes don't know.

After a sexy little pick or a vid, I don't know what to say, man. Because you can really mess that moment up. Well, and everything that a dude's going to reply with is going to seem creepy, lame, cringe, all that. You're good with emojis. I'm kind of liking that. Yeah, because think about it. He's playing a game.

If he was like, ooh. No words, sir. Ooh. you, you so sexy baby. That's like, bro, are you, that's ruined.

Did you just turn into a foreign guy? Yeah. No, stick with the emojis. Maybe tell him that though. And like maybe he'll bring it up in person, you know? Because maybe in his head,

he's like, hey, I don't want to be that guy and come on too strong with a bunch of weird words. Because like me and Benner's saying, you know, from our perspective,

you know, like it's different for me having a wife for a while, now like things change when you've been together for a long time you can kind of say whatever you want yeah you're just like yeah you're my right or die you're here you know what I mean um but in this situation there's so much thinking going on well if I say this wrong if I say this way the weird way then is it like then she's like kind of freaked out and then the moments ruined then all of a sudden next time we're together that's all we're going to be thinking about man that's going on in

his head yeah well I wonder what emojis he's sending though what if he's just like thumbs up. Yeah, if it's just like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, if it's just a thumbs up or like a okay, you know, like, maybe have a deeper conversation. You ever say the wrong thing? Who hasn't? But to finish up, I'll say, maybe just bring it up and be like, you know,

if you're enough having a flirty little date, right? And you guys are, you know, having a good time. You can feel that everything's good. And then you're just like, well, don't you, you know, I send you. you these like sexy things and you never say anything. It makes it feel like I don't know, should I? And then he'll be like, oh no, what? Yeah. Nobody's ever sent me these. Hit her back with that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But and then another thing is I think we're dealing with a generation

gap issue here, 29 to 39. So think about it. You know, texting, sexting didn't really start coming on, you know, Snapchat. Obviously, I think it's been probably the last 10, you know, years or so where it's really come on hard. Oh, yeah. Send nudes. Right. And think about it. This dude was already almost 30 when that was happening.

And so he just didn't grow up in the world that you grew up in that we grew up in. So like, you know, because that happens with me and my dad. I don't send him nudes. But what I'm saying is like, you know, what do you think? My dad or my mom or someone at that age, you know, and I, and I text him something and like I'll just literally get like a ha ha ha back from my dad. You know, and it's like, I think it's like the best thing ever that I'm sending him. You know, when really he just don't get it.

You know, to them, that's just how it is. Or like, you used to email some business guys that we used to do merch with. Oh, yeah. You know, and our generation, we're just like, hey, thank you so much. Love working with you. If there's any way we could do this, that'd be great. Hey, if you want to get a beer sometime, cool too. Thank you so much again.

Let me know. And then it'll send back literally like a thumbs up emoji. They're not being disrespectful or rude. Straight to the point, baby. And their head that's just like how they keep a kid. Meant potatoes. I did send that guy nude, though. Hey, can we get this merch a little quicker?

How about this? What do you think? So I think that's where you're at. But I appreciate, we appreciate all the other nice stuff. Yeah, he's just playing it cool and he's probably intimidated by you. Yeah, for sure. This is from Charlie. If you remember, last week we talked about babysitters because we're coming up on a lot of stuff going on in the summer, a lot of events, a lot of weddings and things of that nature that are not conducive for a 10-month.

month old, my son. Nice word. So, you know, we were talking about babysitters. Do is there a babysitter like rover type situation, you know? So this from Charlie, and that's the subject, babysitters. Charlie starts, these guys, big fan of both of you on Instagram and finally put two and two together and listen to the pod. Ripped through a bunch of episodes and look forward to them now. Ending on babysitters, I had so many when I was a younger, it was crazy. I remember looking forward to them because we were allowed to watch TV at night and eat kid cuisine. Oh, TV at night. You guys got to remember the kid cuisine days. no doubt slap my ass and go to hell

those things were fucking good. I distinctly remember being in elementary school and if the babysitter wasn't hot then I would act out or make her not want to come back. Oh, what a player. For the girls I thought were hot, I was a prized kid that always wanted to take a nap with her. Dude, you're creepy.

One of them brought their boyfriend over at her house once and I was pissed. I started doing the most disrespectful stuff like peeing on the bathroom floor and running around outside. I was mad. I'd beat your ass. surprise your dad.

I'd beat your ass if I was the boyfriend that was watching you that one time. I'd just beat. We just beat your ass. Stop slat it. I'm pissing on the floor. Babysitters are fucked. I had them until I was in fifth grade because I have a younger sister. Anyways, good luck finding one for Frank the tank.

And if you don't find one, his happy ass better get an invite to a wedding. Oh, man, that's really, I mean, like think about, my mom, well,

she worked a little bit. I didn't have many babysitters when I was growing up because my mom was around. Even if I did, it would usually be like, hey, usually it would be like my aunt or my cousin. Oh, dude, I had a hot babysitter. Really? Did you? Yeah, man.

What was the age difference? I was like six and she was probably like 17. So I didn't know. I was just trying to be good. She's like that, that babysitter was like fucking Madonna. Dude, she was so bad. And like she was just girl that was like on the phone. She didn't really care.

She thought I was cute. I was like, oh my God, you know. She chew gum. like, you know, like, always on the phone with her boyfriend the whole time. Twirling the gum. So like, uh-huh. Yeah. I don't care.

Yeah. She's that. She's that. She's babysitter hot, bro. Yeah. It was different. But like that, I don't even know if I would. I guess maybe.

But like, I'm trying to think if I would have put two and two together if I was like eight, nine. And I'd be like, I don't want this ugly ass strict babysitter. I'm going to act out. I never had a choice, bro. In order to then strict. strategize to get a cute one. Plus my mom, I don't know,

they weren't like, my mom wasn't like going out and seeking babysitters. My mom's crazy. So she probably just, you know, she didn't trust anybody that wasn't like,

you know, in the family to like watch her kids. Right. That is weird too. So just a random ass person in your house watching her kid. What? This girl,

my babysitter was like down the street. We like knew them. They went to the same school as us. So it was like, okay, kind of, we're good. But, yeah, just a random-ass person.

I don't know. And I wasn't like thinking ahead like that when I was a kid. No. I didn't know anything. Yeah, if I act bad, I'll get a new babysitter. What? No way. No way.

And if I act bad, like, I'm fucked, bro. Yeah, right, right. My parents aren't taking that lightly, man. It's like when the substitute comes back and leaves a bad note for the teacher, and then the next day or two, your teacher, you know, you walk in. You already know the mood's changed. You know? That is a feeling.

Exactly. Your teacher walks in the next day from coming back. dead quiet you're like oh god we really fucked up walks in dead quiet or they're already in the classroom when you're walking in and you're like well this usually doesn't ever happen there's kind of just standing there sitting on their desk like this yep did it happen to us one time it literally happened to us oh yeah man that's horrible guy goes you know what uh i've been embarrassed before and everybody's like what and he goes but not as bad as i was embarrassed today at lunch. And like when, when I got the feedback from what happened this past week. And we were like,

and it was just the, the tone in his voice. Bro, it was like we all just got screamed at by our friend's dad. We're like, you really let him down. Sorry, Mr. Rehele. Sorry, Mr. Borden Kecker. Dude, it was one of those years in school where like our tea, like our homeroom teacher got pregnant. So we had like 62 different teachers. I was like, what the fuck? It was a nice little buffet of teachers, though. I was like, all right, we'll take the dude for a couple months. You ever thought about... Get big tits back here next in the spring and we'll start talking again.

Get those babies out. You ever think about how like there's a few random teachers that, you know, I think about sometimes that I had back in my day that were kind of like one in Dunners. And I'm pretty sure they like quit teaching after being the teacher of our class. Just for one year. Yeah. Like they were at the school for one year. a year that they were teaching our grade

and then they left the next year and disappeared off the face of the earth. That's wild. Probably never to teach again. Because of you. I mean, not me because I was a little, you know, brown nose didn't want to get in trouble. Yeah, but because of your class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, they just couldn't take it. We weren't

that bad. I never understood how there was kids who literally, like, just did not give a fuck. And like, would absolutely their goal was to make the teacher cry. Like, that, I literally had kids I went to school with. That was their daily goal.

Really? You're demented. But also I'll laugh about it and kind of give you ideas. But I'm not going to do it. Giving you ideas. I was kind of feeding the, I was fueling the fire, bro. Because I want to have fun too.

I just don't want to get the bad conduct grade so I can't go to the wrong collie game on Friday. Oh, so true. We live for Friday. But like, yeah, I'd be, like every bad kid in my grade was funny as hell.

They were just really funny. They weren't like, they weren't like setting traps to like hurt somebody. Right. They were just like saying funny shit that was like, oh, ha, ha, they just didn't care. And would talk back to the teacher. Say this. Say this. Me and you in their ear. Would talk back to the teacher and the poor teacher, man.

You could tell they were getting like their face was getting like hot. Like, you know, like on the verge of tears because they're so frustrated with like this little 10 year old shithead. And that always kind of made me feel bad, but was funny. So funny. Make the teacher cry. Oh, how about when the teacher would just like cry about. something passionate to them the whole class. Yeah.

What a bonus day that is where you don't cover any material in class. The teacher just talks about her family and you're like, you're like gas in her. So what? You know, there's always somebody really good in the class that can like just spend 45 minutes on who gives a shit. But then because then it's always like they went like you didn't do your homework and she hadn't collected it yet. And so you're like, oh, I might get, I might get away with one here. I might get a fifth round steal out of this day right here.

That never happens. That's amazing though. No, but then of course, like someone would be like, I have chapter three's worksheet. Did you want that? With like three men's up in class,

you're like, those are the people I really hate deep down. That would do that. Like, you can't feel it in the room. Like shut up. We all, everyone else here is on the same page,

apparently except you. Be cool. Just because you did your homework for once. doesn't mean she has to collect it immediately. Hey. How about you did feel good when you did do her? You're like hoping she collected it. You're like,

but if she doesn't, it's cool, but like I did do it. Like, Miss Morris, this is, I really enjoyed this assignment. Miss Morris.

I really enjoyed this assignment. Mm-hmm. Do she? The weekend, you ever get, you ever get caught like, dude, so. Cheating?

Well, kind of, but like we had this one assignment when I was in. eighth grade and it was uh i can't wait it was like it was to like watch a tv show and me a break right but like it was to like break down like um you know the runtime and how long the commercial breaks were i remember this blah blah blah i don't even i can't even tell you what it was for dumbest assignment ever so i was like i watch tv every night this one won't be a problem and so the teacher

we get around and my teacher's like Mrs. Schmidt. She was like, okay, and what did you watch? And I was like, family guy, obviously. And she's like, okay, now kind of the details, what we got in and I was like, yeah. She was a perfect. Yeah, she was like, I was like, well, the show was on for 30 minutes and then they had like five minute commercial break in between each, you know, they had three different commercial breaks or each five minutes. And she was like, uh, uh, no, it's a 30 minute window so it'll only been like 23 totally got called out on it like didn't do anything for the assignment because if you're it's a 30 minute program yeah built it's really only 19 or 20 minutes of runtime because in the commercial breaks you know they don't that was the assignment

i can't even remember what it's for but i just remember feeling like such a dumb ass because i was like die when i definitely lied and got called out what like were you the first one to get like called those details are hazy i just remember that um it was very clear. Yeah, like it wasn't just 17 years ago or anything. Didn't, didn't do the correct assignment. But did you, like, how badly did you long to be that class clown? Like, I was like, man, I'd want to be the class clown so bad, but I'm just not. I'm so, I'm too much of a pussy. My face would always get way too red. Like, I would do some funny shit. Right. But it was always so obvious. Like I can't, I couldn't be sneaky about it. Because I'd be so like embarrassed and shit and red and

like, I don't know. It's just tough to get away with it. Yeah. I was always like, I was like this size. And I was always, it's me like the tall kids are always getting in trouble, bro. Yeah, the tall big ones, you can't really be the class clown unless you're like chunky. Yeah. God. You either got to be like a little, you either got to be like a little weasel kid or you got to be fat. It is a class clown. Yeah. I don't know. I was just like, I'm going to get everything I did.

I was like, I'm getting in trouble for this. I can't. I can't. Well, I'm like, well, it's just funny because, you know,

it's now the two comedians in a line of work. Everybody, I feel like that's probably popular question that you get on like questionnaires or whatever the hell is like. You're a class clown? Absolutely not. No, because I want to get fucking,

I want to go to the wrong call the game on Friday. Come on. You had to think about priorities. I couldn't do any of that shit. I enjoyed getting the laugh, but I enjoyed getting the laugh at like lunch. you know, when like you could fuck around. A little, yeah.

A little bit. That was the material right there. That was the room you were working. You did it during, you know, social studies. Then Mr. Tubb is writing you up. When the teacher turned her back, though, it was game on for me. Left the classroom. It was just like seeing that's, that was that, that's like the first open mic.

It's like when the teacher leaves. Because you're like, maybe I got two minutes. I got to get it. And I would always be laughing real hard. I was the uncontrollable laugh guy. Oh, yeah. Like, when I still get those TikToks that pop up on my feet and it's like,

it's literally some animal when it's like, you know, when the teacher says not to laugh, you look at your boy and it's some, you know, orangutan that's like, oh my. Bro,

I know exactly what you're talking about. I still die laughing at that. Oh, that's the funniest part of it. That's my whole childhood is trying not to laugh. I got to go. That happened to me so many times. I got to excuse myself.

What happened? Not just, you don't, you don't get it. I'll be back in five minutes. I had, uh, yeah,

no, that's, that's, uh, and like I got a guilty conscious. I can't just be in class, like making, like,

I'll get in trouble and then like, I'll have a shitty practice or something after. I don't know. The whole night's ruined. All right. From, uh, thanks,

thanks for that, Charlie. Uh, from Tom says, what's up boys? I've been listening to you guys from the beginning. I'm a navigational officer on a cargo ship. Day one clubhouse.

And listen to you guys. and listen to you guys on night watch, midnight to 4 a.m. That's hard, bro. Thoughts go crazy. Anyways, remember the time in the 90s that Skittles flavors that went bad shit crazy? They ended up all tasting the same. I feel like church in the 90s was the fucking Thunderdome. Had that one lady who took the hymns way too serious and would try to out sing everyone.

Also, the communion runway, man, was a fashion show. Wasn't the shoes for me, it was the suits. Also, the nerdy dude who was in the altar crew. Like, am I wondering what are they up to right now? What is their path life? Watch them might be super successful. Anyway, boys, keep up the great work. Tom.

Man, my man is in church with the suits. The suits? I'd never seen anybody in church with a suit on, unless it's like your first communion or something. First communion or baptism. First communion way too big of a deal, by the way. Yeah. It's like, why are my grandparents here?

I don't care. But you still do. I mean, the scale of church dress attire is totally out of whack. We got to get some sort of uniform of what's acceptable and what's not. Love love a Saturday night church, dude. Well, that's a party. That's not even church. Yeah. Wear whatever you want. Yep. Shorts. I'd wear this to church on a Saturday night. Oh, shit. Hat too. Hat too. Oh yeah. But Sunday morning, like your traditional church, your traditional mass, dude, I can't. It's.

kills me how I got you know a family of four up to the front left of the altar and they you know the dad has a suit on and the little son has a suit on but then you look to the right and somebody's got a Dallas Clark jersey on. Oh that goes so hard.

I just need a little bit of more uniform like I need a church to just come out and say look this is what's acceptable and this is what's not. Yeah that's son like minimum khaki pants in a in a and a polo

8.45 Sunday, man. He can't have a jersey on. That's prime time church. That's fair. Yeah, you got to read the room. Hit a polo. Hit a polo and khakis. Come on.

Do you wear shorts to church? Only when I was a kid. Yeah. Now you wouldn't? No. Nah, yeah, you got to wear jeans. I don't, wait. Do you wear jeans?

You can wear jeans? I wear black jeans with like a nice shirt. I think my dad would smack me in the fucking face if I wore jeans at church. Black jeans are different than blue jeans. Blue jeans are like what's up? Yeah. Blue jeans are like, what's up? Where's my mountain do? Black jeans are like, oh, they could be dress

pants, maybe. I just hate walking up to communion, bro. You ever like forget how to walk? Because you know everybody's watching you? I used to, but now, bro, I don't give a fuck. Just not in church though, but like the other day, something was happening. I forgot. Like, there were too many people watching. I think it was when I was walking out to your show. Oh, my God. I don't know. I forgot how to walk.

It's so weird. I'm like going with the same arm and same leg. I'm like, what am I doing? Just walk, you idiot. That's wild. Knee buckles. I'm like, oh, God. That's, uh, yeah, the suits, man.

That's, you gotta be going to like a, you know what, I bet. You're going to a weird church, bro. No, not even a weird church. I bet he goes like, I bet it's like somewhere on the East Coast where he grew up. On some super Catholic shit? Yeah, some super Catholic, like hoboken shit or something, you know. something like that like Hoboken, New Jersey

Oh, I don't know What's that? Oh, I don't know. What's the Natchezer's from? Ooh. Anyways. A lot of good church talk. A lot of good church talk.

All right. And then we got from AJ Uh, these guys question. What's going on, fellas? From Columbus. I love that y'all give me something to get excited about on days like Tuesday. We're right in the middle of the work week.

You always sit the nail on the head when you guys talk about different holidays that are coming up. And discuss what the best and worst parts of the event and what you're most looking forward to. concerning them. I was curious. What's your guys' takes with Fourth of July weekend and everything that's involved there? Slap my ass, AJ. God, do you know how to end an email, AJ? Really, you guys nailed it.

This guy knows how to stick a landing. Man, the clubhouse is just fucking clubbing. God. Love it. Um, Fourth of July. I, I'm loud. Just because of the fireworks? Too loud. The whole day is just, oh.

Cook out. Motorcycles dog. Ro! Rer! Rhyr! Rhyr! Every dog. E! Bho!

Ro! Woo! Roo! Roo! Ah! I'm like, I can't even get a fucking word in.

Jesus, guys. So loud. Yep. But that's what, but the loud people always like blow their hands off. So it's kind of,

they get, you know, it's what they get. Yeah, no, Fourth of July definitely uh,

takes a new meaning. Like, you like it's so much more the order you get. Like when I was, when I was 9, 10, 11, I didn't give a shit about 4th of July. I was like, okay, another weekend playing a baseball tournament. All right. We're maybe going to go to a pool where the mom who's hosting is going to be pissed the

whole time afterwards. Fun. Okay, we're going to try to like fireworks where one dad who's had too many is going to do something crazy and then that probably causes a divorce and then everybody's going to be pissed. Okay. Yeah, it was the opposite for me. Oh, really?

Because the older I get now, it's like, fuck yeah, I don't have anything to do. I get work off. We go to a pool. I can drink. There's good food. Yeah. Uh, it was more like for, for, for like five years stretch, dude. Fourth of July was my number one.

A little sleeper. What ages? Over Christmas. It was just insane. It was just insane. I know. Dude. I don't think I've ever told you this.

Probably have 17 times. What at what age level were you? I was like, um, nine to 13 like nothing really going on summer yeah dude and we'd go to my cousins and my cousins had like the best they lived like in the country kind of had greenhouses fire pit had a trampoline and they like revolutionized fourth of July for our family it was like yo we're

this shit is about to be lit it's like ultimate family cookout fuck it dude they got a pool and we're like, oh my God, the volleyball net? It was like, whoa. Mm-hmm. I mean, anything that you could want to do, it's there. We're playing hide and seek. Yeah. And it turns into like an event.

Maybe it'll capture the flag. Nah, we were more hide and seek. We still don't know how to play capture the flag, by the way. Too confusing. Well, it's in the title, my man. I know, but it's like, I feel like, I feel like there's like icing, like a hockey rule and capture the flag. I'm like, am I allowed to go over here yet?

Like, I don't know. I always felt like I was doing something wrong or getting yelled at during capture the flag. I don't know. For five years, like, it was top. It was next level. See, all my childhood summer memories were just fucked because of baseball. It's all like... Yeah, it really got you, huh?

I mean... I feel bad for you. I think about that sometimes. I'm like, Joey has no idea what I'm talking about. Literally, that was my Fourth of July every year. It was like, hopefully going to the championship game of the Fourth of July weekend tournament because if you don't, your dad's going to be pissed. And so that's just going to ruin any...

potential plans that you're going to have afterwards, which isn't a lot. Come on, kid! Yeah. But then when all that shit was done, I'm like, oh, hell yeah. All these things started to happen. And then you get booze involved, you know, as you get older. Fourth of July now. It's a huge, I mean, it's a huge drinking day weekend.

Now it's big, like, we're going on a boat. It's like top. Ooh. I think we're doing that this year. Yeah. That's like where you want. That's Fourth of July now is, yeah, we got to, we're on a boat. Yep.

And if it's not that, it's like we're at, some dude's like awesome pool. I don't. Not that. I don't really know. What's the other option? You're not going to go watch fireworks because like, who cares, right? And they're everywhere.

I know. You can just look at your window. Literally. Even if I hear it, I'm like, all right, cool. I don't even need to see fireworks. Man, and like, I can't do. I don't like the public pool thing. Like, I don't want to go to anybody's rooftop pool, you know?

I have a, I do, bro. I fuck with rooftop pool. So hard. I don't. It's just all, there's too much, there's, it's too much competitiveness going on.

I forgot I had the best. Every guy's a hot head and is a, you know, fucking, you know, a pissing competition. You know, everybody's got their dicks out trying to fucking,

who's the hottest, who fucking has the most money, who works at a good finance job. It is who has a most money competition. You know, and then like it's just, you know, then there's like,

the girls are all just there for the pictures and all trying to hope that there's a professional athlete there. And, you know, then the girl that you're with, like doesn't like a group of the group like oh god it's just so much like just put me in my parents pool where i can have 18 miller lights and have fun and not to worry about any of that shit not to

suck in my gut now every dude at a public pool party is just like all they do is work out and eat grilled chicken it's me yes so i don't want to go there with you so looks like we're going to a pool party on the fourth of july dude i had the best time my life last fourth of july everybody was like, we're going to this pool. And I was like, I guess I'm going. Because I don't have shit to do today. And I usually don't do shit like this. I think that Fourth of July feeling still in there for you because that's usually

one of the only days of the year that I can get you to hang out. Oh yeah. We were going to your parents pool for a while. Like a couple three years. Yeah, I still got it. Because, yeah, like I said, like my, we talked about a couple weeks ago, my only goal for the summer is to do a power hour with you and then go to Rath Skeller. That might be Fourth of July weekend.

because that's the only time that you... Right, that might be the day. And like it was really nice weather. Dude, I walked up to this pool. It felt like we were in Vegas. Yeah. There's somebody just grilling. Yeah, you want one?

Somebody's just handing shit out. Everybody's playing like beer pong in the water. It was amazing. I didn't know any, but I knew like a group of like probably nine people there. There were probably like 150 people there. It was fucking crazy. It was fun.

You know what I love about, 4th of July is that it's almost up there with Christmas where it's like in terms of work schedules you can get away with leaving work taking off work no one's doing jack shit from like June 30th to like July 7th wow is that one of those little weeks that's like yeah

oh dude I felt like every it's dead summer like fuck it like everyone is off on 4th of July obviously but then like the day before and the day after usually they'd be like yeah well it's observed 4th of July. So you're like, okay, I have those off too. But then like the day, you know, July 1st or 2nd, everybody's like, well, Fourth of July is coming out. It's all wash, man. What day is fourth? What day's fourth of July on? Right. That'd be a good man on streets bit. Um, no, but for real. It's on a Tuesday this week, this year,

which I think is great because no one's going to be working on Monday. And even if you are, you're going to be in there for like a half day and be like, all right, well, I'm going to call it and go get the house ready. Get the house ready. Not doing shit. That's what that means. Let me get the house ready. So you're at least looking at a four-day weekend there because, you know, you get the weekend, Saturday's July 1.

Give me all the holidays in the middle of the week. Oh, yeah. I want chaos. Fake. Fake as shit ever. And then you can, okay. So now we're just going to do it. So fourth is on a Tuesday.

Halloween's on a Tuesday. Wait, you sure? Mm-hmm. Christmas is on a Monday. So that's a nice little four-day weekend there. Because you're going to go Christmas Day, Monday, Christmas Eve, Sunday, obviously. And then the day after, most people are like, it's observed, Christmas. Christmas, I just always feels like it's a Sunday anyway.

Oh, my God, it's Sunday. No. Well, especially now they play the NFL, you know, there's three NFL games on. So you're like, yeah, it is Sunday. That makes sense. My 30th is on a Monday. What a weird, depressing thing. I like that, man.

I don't like birthdays on weekends. Why? Give me my shit on a Wednesday. Yeah, I guess that like makes the day better, but still it's like Monday. Like I will not be able to talk any of my friends to like go have a single beer on a Monday night. I don't think I'd ever ask. It's like we had a friend who his birthday was last week, right? But it was on a Thursday.

And so yeah, it's like, oh, people will definitely be willing to go out and have a few, have a quick four on a third. Thursday night. Quick four. You know, a Thursday night, but Monday. You hit it on Saturday. My birthday's Monday.

It's Monday. We're celebrating today. It doesn't feel right. I mean, I'm going to have to because it's my 30th. So, you know, I want to do like something. Mm-hmm.

Feel you. But anyways. So 4th of July, all and all, great. I'm a baby boy. Whoa. All in all,

I think it's, I think it's up there with, you know, the St. Patty's days, the Halloweens of the world where... You don't really turns it up to... It gets better as you get older. That hot dog eating contest really fucking like...

Sets it off in the morning. Yeah, why is it so early? I'm like, the hot dog eating contest. They're like, it was at 9 a.m. I was like, Jesus, bro. Hey, can we go prime time? Fourth of July is one of those weird ones, though, that like everyone else in the country has the day off

except for like the national sports shows that you watch. So it's the 4th of July and then like Colin Cowherd will still be on. I'm like, yeah, it feels weird. Why aren't this is like a holiday, dude? What are you doing? Go, go relax. Right. Like go to a pool. Have McIntyre fill in. Makes me feel like I need to be doing something. I'm like, oh shit. I better like, uh, I don't know. Dude, he did that schedule an appointment somewhere. He did that shit on Christmas like two years ago because Christmas was like on a weekday. I'm like, what are you doing? Making us feel like shit. I mean, three-hour show.

It's so weird. Anytime, yeah, you turn on any of the major sports network, like talk shows, anything. Even like the Today Show as well, like all those, those things that you normally wake up with on like your regular old June 12th day. And all of a sudden on one of three days of the year that the entire country is off, then they're still like. And that's next on today. I'm like, I don't like this. Yeah. give me the backups. I like backups sometimes.

God. Change it up. How about when you're watching, you're like listening to a show that's on the radio and the main host is out for like a month. It's always sports talk when it's like literally this time of the year. You're like, seriously? Yeah, nobody does anything in the summer. That's what I realized. Yeah, they sick the backups in there to like have them fill, you know, three hours. I'm like just, you don't have a show anymore, right? This is not yours. You're the filling. host now. Yes, you're going to a pool on Fourth of July. Probably. What's on my plate?

What are you eating? Yeah, I mean, food is a definitely underrated part of Fourth of July, I think. Because, you know, people go wild. Dogs? Dogs, brads, burgers. It is crazy, though, how literally, like, Memorial Day weekend, race weekend hits. And then every meal on the weekend.

weekends becomes dogs, burgers, brots. Brots. Barbecue or pork chops. A little peepee. See what they're doing, the hot dogs now? Do you see this on TikTok? They like slice them up and they're like,

they almost look like a curly fry. That's like the new way to eat a hot dog. It looks good. Put it on a bun still? Yeah. It just like cooks it inside out, you know? I'm going to try that. Yeah.

Yeah, 4th of July, but that's, it's got to go light. Got to go light on 4th of July. You already know? Getting in the pool, dude. Because I'm not going to the Witt pool. You want to be big blimpy boy in a pool? Man, my pool where I'm at, yeah.

I'm eating good. I don't want to be burping up and shit in the water in the deep end. Yeah, you don't want to do that because you're at the Witt. Well, even if I was in your pool, I wouldn't want to be all fucking bloaty boy. You're eating beans and hot dogs and jumping in the deep. I mean, I don't ever eat. I don't ever eat beans in the first place. But yeah, I'm having two dogs, a side of, you know, sour cream and cheddar ruffles and

um, pasta salad. And I'm fucking nose diving into the deep end. My first pick, you're going to think this is crazy. First pick, keeping it, keeping it light, I'm going for the beans. You're insane. Beans and like, uh, Tostito's chips. And I'm, I'm dipping the chips in the beans. And I'm going to have a little side of pineapple. This is what this dude does. This dude, this dude. glazes like a deer so much, man. If you ever have him at an event where there's food, man, I mean, he always will have something in his hand or in his mouth, but you're like, how did it get there? And I'm going to create some shit.

But then you'll catch him and you can't, it's like catching Bigfoot in the act or something. He's like kind of creeping over there. 6 p.m. You know what I mean? Handful of them. Cup, big cup guy will fill up. Oh, man. If it's not in a cup, I don't want it.

No one will do. No one does this like this dude. He'll take a solo cup and then just like fill it up with pretzels. Oh my God. That sounds so fucking good. And all of a sudden he comes and sits down there and you're like, and he doesn't reach in there and grab him. He just goes,

oh, I'm drinking everything. You want a couple hot dogs? Yeah, put him in this cup. I'll drink them. Plates are so embarrassing. Here, look at my spread. I feel like a shitty prince. Put in a cup and fuck off.

Hey, and the only time to ever get like a fruit tray or definitely a veggie tray is if this guy's coming to your pool party. Then that's when the money will be actually like you, you will feel good about spending the money on that. I'll take down a whole entire veggie tray with no dip. I've seen it. I'll eat 64 carrots on 4th of July. It's wild. And they're so good to me. I have no idea.

In the fruit? Oh, yeah. I'll take all the good fruits too. Like you got a fruit tray. By the time I'm done with it, the only thing left in there is the honeydew. Bro, he did that at the Colts Steelers game. We're literally sitting front row in a sweet.

Cup with pineapple and grapes in it. Fire. Who's not eating that? But everybody? I don't know. Dude, imagine being at a Colts game with a cup of pineapple. That's my dream. You know what's

what's good that needs to be at 4th of July parties more, at least where I am, is like cowboy caviar. Oh God, you put me on. Like those kind of dips? That was dirty. Let's go, man.

Some, like, either some like corn, some like, like chili corn dip or or, or cowboy caviar. Slat my ass. Oh, that's, see, Now that's like a light dip. It's like refreshing. It is. It is. It's tasty as shit. It's like cold a little Yeah. On the chip. Mm. Fucking giddy up. Yes. Dude, I'll bring it. I'm bringing my cowboy hat on

4th of July. Oh, that would be a move. If you wore a cowboy hat on 4th July. Just for cowboy caviar. It's unheard of. And I'll only wear it when I'm eating cowboy caviar, which will be the entire time. Hey, bring me my hat. I'm hopping on. I'm going right. I'm going right. Biden. Bucking. Um, all right. Well, yeah, appreciate that. That's, uh, you know, they're open all the time.

We'll read them on the show. Team these guys at gmail.com. We had somebody else leave us a nice little, uh, review on Apple. Want to give them a shout out here. It's, um, burpy, boy. Oh, whoa. Uh, yeah, this, this person said I should have a podcast as much as I can for the memorable drops these guys have gained some perspective and give them a listen yours truly

rocus rocus bw rocus rocus i don't know so appreciate that uh we love seeing those we love hearing from you in the old mailbox and um like ben said we're on the journey to uh get into 10k eventually because we're just going to keep stuffing it in the clubhouse right food trucks and 4th of July talk and all that shit and selling the merch so get in the club baby club is open and we want you there um all right tg 38 see you next time bye these guys bye bye bye bye