THESE GUYS! - Joe Montana is a Rapper Name

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

this week the burpy boys talked about what food to get on a mid-season football game🎟️ BENNY'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Sept 19 Hollywood, CA https://www.tixr.com/groups/laughfactoryhw/events/tuesday-all-star-comedy-79464🎟️ JOEY'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Sept 20 Nashville, TN https://nashville.zanies.com/show/joey-mulinaro/zanies-comedy-club-nashville/nashville-tennessee/Sept 28 St. Louis, MO https://st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/226547Oct 11 Louisville, KY https://www.louisvillecomedy.com/shows/226148Oct 25 Pittsburgh, PA https://pittsburgh.citywinery.com/event/joey-mulinaro-1y291h🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?variant=41218692775993

One time I got a hot dog at a Pacers game and it looks so much like a dick that I couldn't eat it. Well, undercooked? No, it just like looked like a dick. And I was like, fuck. Like, I just can't do it. I was like 12 and I was like, I can't eat this. My dad got so mad at me. I was like it kind of looks like a dick.

These guys don't know what it is. These thighs. These thighs week two back after the summer break. It's an all new episode. all new episode on 8 7th Central this week on Disney Channel. You ever watch Disney Channel? Yeah, it was more my sisters watching it and I was just kind of in the room. I really never had control the remote.

See, we're flipped. I always had control of the remote. I was kind of just chilling. But I would, like that made me like now I'm not good with the remote, you know? So I'm kind of, I'm kind of still on rookie mode. But I think if I had it a lot, like I'd be a lot nicer with it now. Dude, you got to respect. somebody that's nice with the remote.

Like right when a channel, like right when a commercial hits, they're like, the last channel. Dude, I like to think I'm getting so good with my experience of watching TV that I can kind of time out the commercial breaks.

So you just have like a general feel, you know, like if you're watching like yesterday on football Sunday. Yeah. Oh, you know. You're going back and forth, right.

And it's like, okay, they went to commercial after a touchdown. So you're like, all right, I'm going to flip over here. Then you have that timer in your head. That's like the regular guy timer.

You know how they talk about on broadcast where they're like, yeah, if you're quarterback in the pocket, you got to have that, you got to have that timer in your head just knowing that internal clock. Oh, internal TV clock. Internal TV clock. That's what the guy version is. The regular guy version is. You have just cable, cable, YouTube TV. Oh, wow. Which they're going crazy with it, dude. They got the multi-views. So they have already- Like four games at once. I think I saw that on your story. Dude, but then they have like, yes, but they have like, or did I? 25 different packages of different games. So it's different combinations.

No way. The only bad part is they haven't made it to where you can build your own. What's going on? Give it a buffet, Y, T. Right. So it's like they have all these options, which is cool.

But at the same time, I'm like, okay, that's great. But at the same time, I don't give a fuck about UTSA and Middle Tennessee State over here. Oh, you're talking about college football.

They do it for the NFL too. Yeah. No, it's both Saturday and Sunday. They're giving you a package for college football. You know they're going to, they're going to throw like a dud in there. Yeah.

Maybe they kind of have to. It's like the, bag of candy for Halloween that has like four. You got Reese's Kit Kat, Hershey's, and all of a sudden I'm like, what the fuck is Milk Dud doing it? Oh, milk dud. You know, they got to throw a dud in just to balance it out. Yeah. No, that's a good point. But yeah, they're bringing it, man, YouTube TV and it's awesome. I might just go right back to cable. Do we talk about this every time? Just every single podcast, me talking about cable. Christmas and cable. Hey, I'm going to be a Nashville on Wednesday.

A little C-C. Wednesday at Zanies in Nashville. Very excited about it. So you still have a day, day and a half, hopefully two days to get tickets. Available in my bio, official joey-Molinero.com and my bio in the show description. So hope to see you there.

Got the ticket count today. Looking pretty nice. A little sellout? Not quite, but pretty solid. Pretty solid. So hey, that's all we need. It's all we need is solid. Pretty solid.

It won't be, no, it's good. It's good. It's good. Oh, yeah. And like all the tickets usually come in the same day. I don't know, some nerdy shit to talk about. No, yeah, it is.

Like my Columbus show, I think I sold like 28 tickets on day of the show. That's fire. But like, that's how I would do it. I know, but it's weird. It's like, 13 minutes before I'd be like, yeah. Oh, we're still going.

Yeah, okay. Let's get tickets. Anyways, see you there. Nashville. Hey, I got something. What? Laugh Factory Hollywood tomorrow night.

I'll be there. Seriously. Wednesday night? Tonight, no, tonight. Tuesday. Oh, wow. Tonight. Get the ticks.

I'll be in L.A. for like all week. Damn, that's, uh... Follow on IG. I'll be pulling up at some shows and stuff like that. That's a big one. It's like the one. If you're out there, kiss a clock. Who are you up there with?

Uh, right now it's kind of like an open. and show. I think they drop them in like, you know, just like local people from Hollywood. So it'll be like, right now there's a co. Matt Rife. Christelia. Definitely not. Matt Rife. He's probably in like God knows where. Bangladesh. He's probably in heaven performing. Matt Rife had such a good year. He is literally performing for Christ. Yeah. God bought his tickets. And they were resale for so that. They're like $7,000. But yeah, that'd be cool.

Sick. But yeah, we'll say. It should be a dope show. So come out if you can. I know a little late notice, but we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We just said. Day of.

Day of's big. Day of, boys. Hey, we bought the new glasses. You like? I love. Thanks. I meant to say something last time. Kind of felt rude.

I noticed it like two minutes left in our podcast. And I was like, I think it's too far gone. Too late. Too late. So I'll wait another week to say something. Glasses, guys? Yeah, you've been rocking them. You're just too lazy.

You're living that rat life. You're too lazy to put the contacts in? You know? I don't know. Sometimes it's just a glasses day. Like something was missing today. I had all this on and I was like, I just, I don't know. I need something.

I had to throw them on. I feel you, dude. That's, yeah. I mean, speaking of somebody who glasses are like a big part of my facial brand. I hear you. Yeah. You need them. I forget what you look like without them.

I kind of do, too. Show them. I don't. No, dude. He got to take care about it. That's my secret identity. No hat, no glasses. Nobody would know.

Who is he? Nobody would know. Who is he? Right. Yeah, I went with more of the, so Rai told me she was like, because I was having trouble picking them out.

Like I had my old ones for too fucking long. They were broke as shit. Literally the, the right bar on the right side of my glasses would just fall off. Guys will keep broken glasses for years, dude. I super glued those bitches. at least eight times. Isn't that weird?

Like, just go just, I know. But then finally I was like, okay, I'm the same way. So we went and I was like, God, I can't like, you know, some of them were looking a little too domerish, right? Because I like the big. I like, you know, I think that's coming back. I just had the circle ones like you have. I had had those for like two years.

So I was like, I got to get away from the circle. I got to go back to kind of the blocky rectangle. And finally I was between like two or three and I was just like, no, those are it. It's so hard. That might be the toughest decision ever. I know. It's my everyday face. Every single day you're wearing on.

That everybody that I'm around is going to see and look at constantly. There's nothing like that's crazy. So what I did is I mixed. That would take me a year. I went like four or five years ago. I was rocking, I don't even know if you remember this, but I was rocking the black frames that were like kind of thinner rectangles.

I remember. Then after that I went to the brown frames that were round. Now I'm like kind of got the brownish, frame that is a bigger rectangle. I kind of meshed them together. And it gets like, it gets less brown as you go down. You got the gradient frames. And they fit my face better. And I love that phrase that I've been getting for people. Even my mother. It doesn't really fit your face. Yeah. She's like, yeah, those just, you know, those glasses are big. So they just fit your face. I'm like, hey, I know my face is fat as fuck. Okay. They fit your fat fucking face is what everybody's

really saying. Oh, those glasses? They fit your fat fucking face. Both of my mom and my mother-in-law. They're like, yeah, it just, it just fits. That's why I didn't notice it in the last podcast. I was like, they just fit his fat fucking face. I just didn't want to say it. I didn't, I couldn't think of the words. But you know what fucking sucks is I was so pissed because I was like, geez, mom, okay. And then I go back and I look at photos and videos of myself from literally three weeks ago

when I didn't have them. I'm like, Jesus, that was a fat fucking face. Those glasses did not fit my fat fucking face. That's for sure. Oh, my God. Yeah, man. So rocking the new frames, feeling good. I got the new shoes. Dude, I was in Gainesville. Wow. No, you didn't. Yeah. I was in Gainesville and my, my Reeboks were just ratty as shit. It looked like I had just literally been. It looked like I had been at like the sweatiest, moistest fucking every drink spilled on the floor bar ever walking around in those. Just sticky, ratty. They're hurting my feet. Those are kind of the vibe for the Reebok classic. right. They were kind of

kick around. Like, yeah. Those are the off white. These are just straight up white. As soon as those get fucked, you're screwed.

Yeah. They're not like cool enough like joins where you can kind of and they were like hurt my feet and shit. I was like, I literally,

I was like Nike. I just looked up Nike in my maps and they're like 2.8 miles. Nike factory store. That's some real grown man shit when you just, you're like, I need shoes now.

I didn't have a rental car. Took an Uber from University of Florida to the Nike store. Kind of baller. I was like, I got to do it. Especially with my event the next night. I was like, I got to do it.

I see whites. So I went with the, I don't even know what these are called, but I've been one them for a while, honestly. And they're comfy and they look good. And I was like, let's go. Yeah, those are nice. I kind of figure what they are two, 97s maybe. You got some fancy shits on too.

Just some. Just the ones, you know. What is it? The pencil shaving ones? The cork board ones. That don't forget to fucking put the picture your, grandma on the cork board ones. Oh, they look good.

Thanks, dude. You wear those with black jeans too? Or just blue jeans? I don't know. See, I know it's going to, these are not like gene wearing shoes. You have to wear like joggers or some like the sheets around your ankle. Jeans and athletic shoes. So weird.

Can't do it. So weird. But I'm like, damn, I like these. And I kind of want to wear them to shows, but I wear all black jeans of shows. So I just can't. Maybe if you, hey, cargo pants. Ah, okay. With the loose.

You need an Uber and get some cargoes. I'm gonna Uber right now. There's BT. Later, bro. Just now leaving. Just stop talking. No, no, he's still fucking talking. Oh shit.

Yeah, dude. Gainesville was sick, though. I was like, man, Ben would be having a lot of fun actually down here. It looked like fun. Surprisingly, he would. Really? This place is called the social. That's where everything went down.

two-story bar. So it had a rooftop upstairs. Give me a rooftop. You shade. You're literally on the rooftop. You're looking at the Florida football stadium right there. Give me a rooftop and then don't say anything else to me for the rest of my life. I'll be up there. It was amazing. I was sitting there with a couple of my co-workers on Thursday night upstairs and all of a sudden this dude, this college kid just came up right behind our table and there was like a ledge off the side, you know, to the back. So it's like it was one of those, you know how college campuses like they'll have like a strip of bars and restaurants and shit.

And it's like in the back will be kind of like a you where people can like kind of park and maybe we'll have some shops under there. Oh yeah. It's where like dumpsters are and shit. Say dumpsters. I'm like, yeah, I got you. Oh, okay. This dude just comes up out of nowhere and just a straight yacks off the side of the

fucking bar. Off two stories? Uh-huh. Hell yeah. Yeah, dude. So college. Oh, it was so college. Dude, this place was.

Just pull trig and let it rip. This place was insane. After nine o'clock on this place on Thursday nights. one dollar wells. What are they doing? How is anyone alive? I'm sitting there watching Thursday night, football at the bar. It was kind of dead at the start of the game, man, like 815.

Then I literally all of it, like, three seconds later, I just have people like on all sides of the bar, like bumping shoulders. Like, sorry. One dollar? I was like, what is going on? Finally, I looked at it when I was like, what is happening? And they're like, yeah, one dollar wells. You're like,

I was like, stiff arm in the shit out. of people. Heismundum. Yeah. The first time someone told me one dollar wells when I was like a person in college

I was like what the fuck are you talking about? You know, the bar language. I'm like, what are you talking about? Wells, I still like,

what is it? The well. I'm like, yeah, but there's still not a well. I don't want to drink out of a well. That's exactly what I thought.

First time I heard it was at Applebee's and they were like, yeah, we have well drinks and I was like, sounds disgusting, but. Oh, so we were drinking trash water?

That's, I was like, what else would I think? Yeah, it should be cheap. Jesus Christ. People that work in restaurants just have no patience for you either. They're like, you never heard of that? I'm like, no, I'm a U.S. citizen. I've not heard of a well drink. What are you talking about?

Same with all the beers. You want wine in cougals? I'm like, what the fuck is that, dude? I'm like, can you spell that? Because I have no idea what you're saying. Is that animal species? Dude, put that on your drunk spelling. People have no fucking people.

I have no fucking idea. That's what we do. That's what we do on these guys. Clubhouse, listen up. You change your peas to bees. You're saying people, not anymore. It's people. Are we doing, people?

What are we thinking? We having some bowls of pasta or maybe some beza? Let's go. Let's go basers. Hey, can we get a minute out of you, dude? You're ducking the mold or a minute. God. I'll get a minute out of me.

man, the fucking Pittsburgh Steelers and their coaching staff. You want to get a minute. We'll go 60 minutes on this. Let's go. Let's get a minute. This is absolute. I mean, just look no further than what the Rams did yesterday on Sunday against the 49ers. The 49ers look like a regular ass fucking team.

That is a total doctrine. I mean, that there's a total indictment of the entire Steelers coaching staff that the week before the 49ers came in and looked like it was fucking Super Bowl. Joe Green, Joe Montana, Barry Sanders and Jerry, rice reaming us.

It's unbelievable the fact that literally Trent Williams, the left tackle for the 49ers, he said after the game against the Steelers, he was like, yeah, at one point, we kind of were just hoping they got a first down because our offense was tired. How do you look at that as a, as an ownership, as a man? As a leadership, as a man, and just be like, yeah, that's okay. It's ridiculous, dude. It's got to stop. You look around the league, everybody who has a fucking brand.

brain cell, hire somebody to come in and make their offense a scheme that's going to help out the quarterback. What do the Steelers do? Have some Jagoff who goes five and out the first five drives of every fucking game. Jack. Wait, who is it? The OC? Matt Canada. It's ridiculous, man. He's had this job for three years. The Steelers are the only team in the NFL in that time frame to not have a game with more than 400 total yards of offense. The only team in the NFL. What's he doing hanging around? That's just what the Steelers do, man. And it's like it's good and bad, right?

It's a double-edged sword with this franchise because it's like, hey, you pride yourself on stability and we're the Pittsburgh Steelers and we don't change and we keep it together and we, you know, because once you start to change for change, then all of a sudden you become the Browns. But at some point, it's beyond that. At some point you have to look at the problem and say,

okay, are we just being stubborn here? Or is there really not a good reason to get rid of it? them and there's plenty of reasons to get rid of them. You draft a quarterback in the first round and you are doing this man a disservice by handcuffing him. He's playing, he's, he's not even playing checkers while everybody else is playing chess. He's playing a totally different game. It's ridiculous to judge Kenny Pickett as a quarterback until he has somebody with half a fucking brain cell, a football brain cell calling his offense. All right. That's a hot minute, Doug. And so now I got to go watch them fuck up tonight.

too. It's like you and Wyatt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, thank you. Give them something for that. That was passion. That was passion and purpose. It's like Ben and Wyatt, you know, for a while.

I was always just like, man, yeah, I don't know how they do it where they, you know, they don't have a real, like, passionate tie to a team. And now I'm leaning more towards you guys. I sit down there and I sacrifice myself for three hours every week to watch a fucking franchise that just sits there in the mud and sticks. in their ways just because we're the Pittsburgh Steelers and this is how we do business blah blah blah. Yes, it's Big Ben

retired. You're nine and nine and you average like 17 points of game on offense. This is fucking 2023, not in 1982 you dumb fucks. The squad though. The only reason I'm like this right now is because I do love him so much but

shut the fuck up. just do that with everything that was your girl listen listen fuck you it's because i love you listen that that was absolutely you know like in old school you don't but in old school and will feral like blacks out for a minute while he's doing the debate and he doesn't know what happened i don't know what just happened so anything that came into my mouth i can't be held liable sound a good for like like two thoughts went through my head and i was like he ran this before he got here in the car because it's that good it was it was you're hitting dude i was like is he did he do this in front of like a employee meeting or something?

I've been holding it in for a week, man. You're ripping. Been holding in for a week. Again, I love the franchise. I love the city. Coach T's a legend, all that, blah, blah, blah, blah. But this whole thing with Matt Canada,

it's just ridiculous. And you're being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. That's it. That's all it is. All right. Dude, so Dion Sanders and Shador Sanders, crazy, right? I know you got to love this shit.

I do, but it's just, they're cool. It's cool. It's a party. But too many people are starting to act cool because of it. It's like the people around them are starting to act way too cool. And I'm like, you guys aren't the cool people. It's Dion Sanders. That's the cool guy. Everybody else, like, take a fucking seat, dog.

Yeah. Well, again, this isn't the announcers calling the game? I'm like, can you just? 21, can you do something for me? I'm like, dude, you're a nerd. Yeah. You're a, let the guy, let the cool. guy be cool and sit your ass back.

See, it's crazy to me. But honestly, it is cool to see. But it is like so many celebrities at one game. Like Lil Wayne? That was the rock. Leading them out of the tunnel. Who's not going there? Leading them out of the tunnel to a millie.

Who's not going there? Right. But the announcer. A millie by little Wayne. Shut up. Little. See, the thing about it though is they're getting, they're having the Bron and Brani effect in terms of if you go on literally any sports social media site,

I think like 14 out of their last 16 posts has just been, has been Dion and Chador and Dion and Shador and Dian and Shador and Buffs and Dian and and so it's like it's fatigue from the posting of the dumb accounts that everybody hates. That's where it's like, okay, that's for me, what you're saying, where like the people who aren't cool, just let the cool people be cool. Like, I think Dion and Shador are awesome.

Yeah. And watching Lil Wayne come out of the tunnel and all that shit, I think that is awesome. And I would want, if I was in that position, I'd be like, hell yeah,

like I want to be a part of that. But the just constant, like, in your face, like Dion literally like wiping Shador's face and there's like eight million posts about it and everything. Like, take care of QB1. Like all shit,

just stop. Like just fuck, like come on, man. Like that, that is the fatigue for me. And it's, but, but, but, but again, LeBron and Brani, they get that. And it's like, people would be like, oh, you hate LeBron and Brani. It's like, no, not really. I hate the shit that comes with it. I hate meme pages.

Right. Yeah. Like, it's no fault of Bronnies. It's no fault of Shadors and Deons because they're just doing their shit. Yeah. It's like sports center trying to be cool. It's the 23 year old fucking. stupid white kid who just graduated from

what at Syracuse who's running the ESPN social media account that makes me want to blow my brains out. Yeah. It's like, I don't know where, what this is like super nerdy to talk about. But like, is sports center supposed to be like the dad and not be cool? Or are they supposed to like, you know? No, I know. It's like they're appealing to the young audience and everything, right? They're trying to, but at the same time,

I'm like, can you get like two or three posts mix in about Florida beating Tennessee? Like that's a fun game. I didn't even know that game happened. There was one game this weekend. There really was. I don't know. It's just. Yeah.

But that's the game, baby. How to get your thoughts? Yeah, it's going to get annoying soon is my thoughts. But it's still cool. It can't. It can't not. yet annoying. Because of all the other shit.

Not because of Dion and Shador. Right, right, right. It's just like the overplay is going to make them. Like, people are going to start to hate them and shit. You know, everybody's like, jumping on the bandwagon. Like, soon, it's going to be like, it's going to go the other way. Yeah. Just because that's how everything is.

But I like it. You know Olivia Rodrigo guy? Uh, not. I'm kind of neutral. Why? I don't know. I kind of am. Yeah.

Yeah. Like her little, I don't know. Just like her, her poppy-ass fucking teenage, like music. Like, it's just like, it's catchy. It's catchy. You could sell me on it for sure if you just played one song right now. I'd be like, yeah, man. It's just so, like, sing-songy along too, you know what I mean?

Like, it's, and it's fun, I guess is what I'm saying. What makes you think of this? I was listen to it on the way of it. You're like, Steeler's speech, Olivia Rodriguez. Play. I want to get him back. I want to do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, yeah, dude, I'll be, man, I'll be a little bitch.

I don't think, uh, I don't think, maybe I don't know. I don't think I know enough of her songs. I know why it's as big of a T. Swift guy as he is. He's Olivia Rodrigo, too. Oh, big time. Oh, the tours. Dude, you see Sandler's coming here? I think I texted you about that.

I saw that, but I didn't see he's coming here. Yeah, November 15th. That'd be cool. That's the special guests are probably insane. You open them for him? Crazy. Yeah, me and David Spade. Just willy-nilly.

Yeah, I'll see if I can stop by Adam Sandler. Let you know two minutes before. I actually can't lock me in for that yet. Yeah. No, you'd be like to edit a these guys podcast clip. That's the, that's a bin go-to. Oh, damn. is there some

ask some question about like food or wine or some shit happening there and then you're like yeah we have that it's gonna be tight don't hear from them for two days oh wait this is what I wanted to say I don't mean to change the subject but I changed it

the glasses the Dion Sanders sunglasses do you like them yes okay do you know no you don't I like I don't know if I do I don't know. Okay, that's fine. Why me, why not?

I don't want to hate, but I'm like, I don't know. I just thought they could be better. When he was wearing him like week one, I was like, that's what he's wearing? You don't like, okay, so you don't like him on Dion or you don't like him on? I just thought they look like mall kiosk glasses. And I was like, come on, Dion. And now everybody has them. Now I sound like a hater a little bit.

I mean, that's fine. That's kind of you. That's kind of, yeah. But it was cool. Did everybody get them? I don't know. they said they did like $1.8 million in sales. Yeah,

I can't not like them in this past week. Like, I couldn't wear them. Absolutely not. No, dude, I look like the biggest idiot in sunglasses. I don't think I've ever seen you wear sunglasses. I don't think I've ever seen you wear sunglasses. Yeah, the only time I've seen you wear sunglasses is when we're doing coach videos. And I would yell at a 13 year old in those videos.

The only time you're wearing sunglasses is if, is if you want to yell at somebody. Looks like Tarzan. It's like Jane. Hey! Get a chopin. Your mom's hot. That's an all-timer.

Looks like Tarzan? It's like Jane. Oh, dude. To just demoralize a 13-year-old with that. Man, what I would do. Right now. Oh, just take him out, dude. Just shut up, Johnson.

Yeah, we're getting to that point of the year with it being like Davis. Getting towards late September where people just would start checking out. Coach is included. Just dude. You know when you see your coach like walking up before practice and he's looking at the ground and you're like, oh, this is going to be rough. I'm getting yelled at today.

That feeling of knowing you're going to get yelled at at practice and have nothing. You just can't, nothing you can do about it. Did you ever have a coach where, like, they, they, when they're walking up to practice, they don't even start. They have a day where they don't even start by, like, blowing the whistle or, like, saying something. They just start, like, throwing balls at you.

Oh, the drills start, like, you're supposed to know that this drill is happening? Full court. What is it? Like, uh, you used to have a basketball coach. You'd walk in. I know exactly.

We'd just be, like, like, kind of dicking around, kind of getting loose and whatever. And then all of a sudden he'd enter the doorway, have the bag of balls with them, just reaching in and absolutely heaving them. Just, yeah. Let's roll. Let's go. Not rolling them, dude. Nope.

Kind of biting his tongue a little bit. You're like, fuck. The full court, like, rebound, and then you like outlet and then you got to run. True, Drew, true. Can we keep talking about this? Yeah, but like illegal. But like this time of the year, you know, like in July and early August and shit, like the season is just rolling in. everybody's kind of like, oh, yeah, this, you know, this is, we're going to be different.

The seniors are different this year. The seniors are so different for here. Shut the fuck up. September 16th, the seniors are fucking jacking each other off in the corner. Yeah, for sure. They'll have girlfriends and shit. I'm like, why you guys just quit? Yeah, they'll just quit on the boys, quit on the team.

Awesome. Don't want to win sectionals because you want to get drunk sick. You just, it's over. It's over. It's so over. People on the team praying that you lose. I'm like, I kind of get it. But like we can't say it.

That was so fucked. Like, dude, come on, man. That's a sophomore like, damn, I'm not going to, I'm not playing at all. And if we lost, I would not be mad. But I'm not going to say it. Maybe just to like 13 of my friends. In the basement playing NCAA, 09. Like, God, I'll be taking out this Friday.

that would be amazing. I want to be the worst thing over. Really tired of being at school until 7 p.m. every day. That's insane. That's insane. Just to not play. You're being selfish. Just to not play and have Massengale.

Toss me into the front row of the stands. Love a Massengill. He comes up on every podcast like one out of every 13 for me. Drop the old mass. So many need races. Like by that point, like the coaching staff is just dwindled. Oh, yeah. Like started with eight coaches.

There's four now that are really coming to practice. August 16th, there's like 22 members of the coaching staff. September 20th. Don't even have a special team's coach anymore. It's like seven. Yeah. That's so funny. Well, yeah, him and his wife.

Oh, he's like his wife. It's like, God damn, dude. Can you finish the job? Just through Thanksgiving. Through Thanksgiving. His wife. No, he gave up on you too when he's like, the only reason he was there is because he talked his wife into being like,

hey, these seniors are special. By this time. This is a different, this is a different class. By this time when he realizes it's a sectional one and done, he's like, I can't keep going at it with the wife on. You said they were different, Sean. They suck dick. Four and five.

Four and five. They suck again. Seven coaches. I guess the inmates running the asylum, huh? Bro, that. That last day, that last day of high school football is insane. Hey, turn in your pads. I have no idea.

I don't know where any. my shit is, coach. Actually, I didn't have a helmet for the last four weeks. I was just out there fucking around. Do you have your practice jersey? Like, fucking three girls have it. What are you talking about, man? You think I'm a bitch? I've been

stealing equipment all year. I'm not going to give it back. You think those cracky-ass yellow knee pads? I kept track of those. I wanted to get rid of those as soon as I got them. I tried to turn those in for money. At played against sports. I bought all the equipment on the internet. This shit is not going to cut it, coach.

And I don't know where any of it is. It's probably in the back of my mom's fucking car or something. Like I have no clue, dude. But dude, if you kept going in the playoffs too, like, you'd have some kids that would just wouldn't show up to practice. Hey, how about half the team? Like literally half the team, maybe 33 kids on the team are just injured. But nothing's wrong with them?

I'm like, oh, a concussion? Like, shut the fuck up. Everybody all of a sudden has a concussion? You don't play. No, fucking. Dude, everybody somehow hurt. It's just because they wanted to dress warm. So many cargo shorts on the sideline.

They want to dress warm. Cargo pants on the sideline. Towl in the back hanging off. Somebody's getting drunk after the game. Dude, it would be like a contest. There'd be some people at lunch that would be like, yeah, we're just not going today. I'd be like you're really like to practice

like what's wrong do you like have a doctor's appointment to be like no we're just not going to that's insane I would feel so you're just not going to go like they're not going to notice you holy hell dude you know what kind of balls you gotta have to be like

I'm not going to practice is crazy dude if Frank ever does that shit I will fucking hang him by his feet and drain his blood keep going Bro, are you going to Transfer?

Not something to, like, you know, but like, that shit's just not going to fly. Dude, when, usually when kids do that, like, they're kind of on their own. There's no change in that. You can't really snap anybody back into reality after that one. Didn't go to practice.

Dude, you know how good you got to be? To just be like, not today. No, that's the thing is they weren't that good. No, they're the worst players on the team, dude. They're kind of low-key on steroids in the off-season. You're like, what is happening with your brain? And now you're just... What?

Why is you not doing this? Oh, a little weird experience. That's so funny. Should we check some mail? Yeah. They always had long hair and shit. Mm-hmm. But like Hollister and Abercrombie long, not like long, long.

Still kind of scared of them. Me too. Definitely going to go to their house. Stealing. steal my CD player in my car or something. All right. This is from Watson. What's up, nerds?

Watson. Watson, don't call us nerds. Has it hanging, gents? Day one TG listener, a big fan. Got me thinking when y'all

mentioned Tim Biakabat Tug on the last pod. Who was the coolest football name? T.J. Hushman Zada and Rocket Ishmael are two off the top of my head. Shit. Come to Richmond, Virginia already. We got great wine,

beer and food. Congrats on the baby girl, Joey. Thanks, Watson. Well, T.J. Hishmanzada played for the Bengals and stomped on a terrible towel, so he's dead to me. That was great, though. Rocket Ishmael. Crazy name.

That's a cool. Yeah, I mean, rocket. Come on. Hey, I got one. Okay. I got one. Dude. James Thrash.

Ooh. What? Hey, hey, hey, I got one. Bakari Rambo? Shut up. From Georgia. Oh, Georgia. There's a Rambo in Georgia every year.

I'm like, okay. All right. We get it. Every year, Rambo, safety. I'm like, God. I still think we don't give enough credit to Bill Romanowski. That's a fucking football name, if I ever heard one. Sebastian Janikowski.

Ski and football plays, man. Yeah, they're so good. It absolutely plays. Every ski. I mean, and then you go with like, you go to class. I mean Joe Montana. That's insane. That's a rapper name. Joe Montana is a rapper name. I just thought about that out of context and that would go so hard. Yeah, he's, it's a rapper name or it is a fictional football character who's a dominant all American quarterback and that's actually what he was. Joe Montana. Was that his real name? Like he didn't. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you can just go through the comments. There's so many Joe's. You just go through the comments on our Instagram and TikTok post of last week. And it's just...

Oh, yeah. You texted me that. Should we do that? There's so many good running backs. The one that got me was Correll Buckhalter. Dude, that one actually did like cut me. I was like, oh! And then honestly, one that your sister dropped that totally looked over at Priest Holmes?

I think about Priest homes every day. Oh my. I saw it coming. Hey, that name? Priest home. What should we name them? You know what? Let's just go for it all.

Priest. because he's baptizing motherfuckers. Priest? Let's just cut to the chase here. He's pretty much God. I'm just going to name my son God. God,

God, yeah, God, yeah, he's going to be that good. And the confidence you got to have in your kid. Oh, yeah. God.

A lot of pressure. God. I see it. You see it? That's crazy, dude. Priest is nuts. Lawyer, Oh, yeah!

Starts again. Oh, not again, dude. I hope there's TG Clubhouse at their office that are in the car literally just fist pumping. Lawyer Malloy. Oh, the alliteration. Mm. Is it even? No.

Just rhyming. Lawyer Malloy. Alliteration is when it's like. Yeah, Peter Piper. Not bad. Could be a rapper. Yeah, could be a good. Peter Piper.

Could be a rapper. Peter Piper. I want to keep I'm thinking names now the name guy I am the name guys we are the name guys yeah dude lawyer Malloy

God that was a good one Talk to me baby Asante Samuel not bad Not bad not great though We can do better Not bad Not bad From Walker.

Back in business? Fuck yeah. Fellas, was wondering if y'all were dead. Glad you're not. Listen, after one week of NFL football, my liver is hurting.

My wife is on Tinder and there are multiple holes in my trial. This sounds horrible. Needless to say, I'm an Arizona Cardinals fan and life will suck for the foreseeable future. Cheers, gentlemen. Good to have you back.

P.S. I'm fine. Question. If you were at a mid-season football game, late October, Prime shit, would you rather? Would you rather get a hot dog and a beer, B, nachos and a soda. C, popcorn, and a slushy. Piss on me, spit on me, spank me.

I love the club, dude. Never fail. Nachos and a sprite. Just the best mix. Hot dogs, sometimes they can be a little too, too much. It's got to be the right hot dog. One time I got a hot dog at a Pacers game and it looks so much like a dick. that I couldn't eat it.

Well, undercooked? No, it just like looked like a dick. And I was like, fuck. Like, I just can't do it. I was like 12 and I was like, I can't eat this. My dad got so mad at me. I was like, it kind of looks like a dick. Like, it was so dick that I couldn't do it.

Your dad mad that he spent 879 on a hot dog. Well, it's just like the thing of wasting food. It could have been 50, but don't waste food. Man, that never has bothered me. I don't give a fuck. I know. Don't eat it. It's kind of gross. I'm not going to eat gross food.

There's some people that literally, it's like an OCD thing. They're like, like one of my friends, we call him the garbage disposal because it's like if he sees food that's there, he like has to eat it. Whoa. Ew. Who? Who? Who's that poor? He's not at all. It's like, it just bothers him that much.

He's like, yeah, it's there. Like it needs to be gone. And he's just always hungry. He's like six, seven. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. He needs to grow more.

I'm going A, dog and a beer, man. I just got, I mean, it's got, it depends on what the dog's looking like. See, I think it's cock dog, can't, can't do it. It's dog dog dog with a bunch of ketchup on it? I think at a mid-October football game, though, you're probably getting one in the aluminum foil. It's wrapped up and shit. Well, soggy boy. Soggie dogs.com?

I think so. You can never go wrong with nachos, I think. That's true. It's so easy. it's not a lot of yeah it's not a lot of you don't have to everybody love your girl your wife you're not spill on a bunch right like the mustard you like you're squirt on there oh shit with the hot dog like it's falling off of it yeah there's a hot dog you got to make like a lot of stops right you got to get it out of the foil like do your condiment thing put it back in the foil you might rub all the condiments off and you put

it back it's like crazy then the condiment bar is always like too far away it's like oh god where is it for that yeah that's sad it's sad it's sad Second line. Right. Second line at the condiment bar. By the time you get there, you're like, you know, you got the weird rally. Like, I don't even want this anymore. There's like a Band-Aid on the counter.

Somebody walks by with nachos. You're like, I want to just fucking God knows. Now I've got to get back in the concession line. Three hours long. They should change that. You should be able to. Like, you should be able to door dash to your seat. What are we still doing waiting in those lines that game?

I'm like, this is crazy. That's where all the fights happen. You open Twitter every Saturday and Sunday. day there's some dumb fucking idiots. With the shirt over his head. Fucking hot dog in his fucking mustard getting everywhere. Just

door dash that shit. Jeez. Yeah, section 202, Roque. That should be next for the AT&T stadium since they do everything first. All right, from Dustin. Question of the year. Oh, boy. It's better be good. His name's Dustin

too. It's me. I hope the football season is bringing back the little Andrew Luck twinkle in your eyes. His little chuckle that we all know and love will live on. As we embark on another season, that will end with the Eagles in the Super Bowl. Looking forward to the mornings with Musty Show. That'll be premiering at some point. Dusty and Musty.

It's got to be host about a high school football coach who wears the polo but is wearing the same gym shorts and underwear on the six day in a row. And of course, the old flip-lops to showcase the crusty yellow toenail. I wish it was me. some good candidates for the show. Got to be former offensive alignment, right?

And it's got to absolutely reek in there. Let's make it happen. Slot my ass and drive away with the gas pump still in the gas. Oh my God. Gaspar still in the gas tank. Can you imagine if these messages didn't have that ending? I'd be like, yeah.

But also imagine like saying this to anybody else in your life. All right. So what's the question here? Good candidates for the show of Musty in the morning. Musty and Dusty in the morning. Former offensive alignment? This is a crazy question. Like what?

What time did he send this? That's all I want to know. Says, good morning. Oh yeah, he did this at 6.42 a.m. I don't know. Why am I just thinking about Joe Wrights? You got a fight for your rights. Before every commercial right.

It's Joe Wrights. It's musty and dusty. You got a fight. You're right. Just the weirdest, oldest Offensive lineman with like a great personality. Fucking Richie Incognito. Oh, that would be sick.

Is he going to kill me? Probably. Hopefully. Richie Incognito morning show? Who's not listening? How about Joe Staley from the 49ers? Wait. Oh, damn.

I had a. good one. Ah! I can't think of it. I can't think of it. Damn it. Come on, man. I know.

I know. Yeah, it can't be one of those who got skinny after they stopped playing like Jeff Saturday. I just want only offensive linemen that might kill me on the show.

Joe Thomas. It's got to be a hog. I want a fucking donut eating fucking smells like shit. Has chili on his like in his like back tooth a little bit guy.

I don't want anybody trying to be hot. You don't want to know what's in the beard. No. I just want you like sprinkles and shit. So crusty. Weird stuff. He's got white corners.

Oh. Jason Kelsey would be a good candidate for this. He's a little too hot. A little too Hollywood now. He's kind of, he's kind of hot. A little to Hollywood. That's fair.

Did he wear the dog mask? No, I was Lane Johnson. Oh, he might be in. You wearing a dog mask just after an NFC championship? game, want you on the show. You're just going to, oh, that's like the thing you remembered to do?

Like probably jumped off sides twice, but brought the dog mask. That's my kind of line, man. Fuck it, dude. That is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Just chilling on the field of the dog mask on Eagles jersey. I was like, yeah. Who's the guy for the Saints? It was like Kyle Turley.

Oh, oh, yeah. The dude who ripped the Jets players helmet off on Sunday night football. Turley, get in here. KT in the morning KT with musty and dusty Turley Dude there's no way that females listen to this podcast

I don't believe it I see the comments I just don't believe it They're just all the guys that are running catfish accounts That forgot to They forgot to switch out of their accounts They're like Marshall Falk

Oh shit my girl account No I but we appreciate it And yeah that's good I forgot about that too. Wow. You're a savage, ladies. Ladies, you're savages. And we love it.

This is from Jimmy with an eye. J-I-M-I. Subject line is fatherhood. Hey, fellas, long-time listening to repeat email or I love the podcast. It's stoked your back. I'm delighted to say I'm expecting my son to be born in December. Hey, congrats. Wow.

Since it's my first kid and Joey's already in a second, almost now got me thinking. Joey, what are some things you wish you knew or prepared for when Frankie was born? Keep these pod episodes coming, gents. This clubhouse is going to need another floor level. How much has it been expanding? If you ever want to do a show in the Chicago area, I'll be there front and center in my teal Ricky Williams Dolphins jersey since this pod is only about 2000s football players. Slop my ass on a Sunday morning and sit me down for Fox kickoff Sunday.

That is very, I like this. It was a very well-rounded message. For sure. Love the Wiki. Wiki. Love the Wiki Williams, John. The Ricky Williams Wiki Williams

Wiki Williams Wiki Williams Wiki Williams Dudes dude The off ran Ricky Williams That's a sound cloud rapper For sure Wiki Williams

Oh shit WikiRills Real trap shit Damn son Where'd you find this Some things you wish you knew Or prepared for When Frankie was born

I'd say this dude Like the first three months Just really Probably even longer in that for six months really just like cherish and relish the fact that the kid is stationary as shit like you put them in a swing you put them in a little seat and you put them in one of those bopper things and they're just there. Like maybe you got to kind of like a woo woo or like turns out like the dancing fruits on from

whatever but like you can get so much shit done because then as soon as they start crawling gone as soon as I start crawling and then now at one at 10 11 months at one where my kid is now he does not stop from the moment that he gets up at 7 in the morning until the moment he goes asleep at 7.30 at night, the kid does not stop moving. He's gone, bro, at dinner. He's at the L.M. anywhere. I mean, he does not stop moving.

Okay. So just realize that like, yes, the sleep is going to be a little weird at the beginning because newborns are up like every three hours and you got to feed them and everything like that. It's fine. But you will at least get that time back during the day because they're sleeping most of the time during the day, napping, or they're just sitting there. So take advantage of that time. That's all I'll say.

Wow. Real trap shit. Yeah, you had to end it. Real trap shit. From Travis, pod question. What's up, Johnson, Schmitty? Been listening to y'all for a while, and it's great to have the pod back. This week, the Patriots brought back the throwback Patriot Pat Unis.

I love the clubhouse, bro. As much as I had the pats, I got admit those throwbacks are clean. My question for you guys is, if you could pick one team to bring. back throwback unies is the default home away jersey who would you pick and as a fellow Steelers fan i got to know if joey is a fan of the bumblebee jerseys i honestly wasn't too big on them have a great day and slap my ass Travis okay first off yes i oh that's a cute dog um wow i i like the bumblebees i thought they were fun i thought they were cool i like all the old jerseys even if they're ugly i'm like yeah they play it's like cool different i think it's fun to like

bring out once a year, bring out at the tailgate, you know what I mean? I got a bumblebee jersey. Don't want that to be the full time by any means, but like I thought it was cool, you know? And plus we were always fucking people up when we wore those.

Every time the Steelers wore those, I feel like they were smacking people. Yeah. Killing teams. So I did like those. But if I could pick one to bring back, Ben, you started this one because I feel like you probably have one right away.

I think they're doing it though. I like the Oilers, but I think they're doing that. But no, he's talking about like that's good they bring it back full time like that is their uniform um i do like them because they're different and i wouldn't i really got to think about this um i got mine what you got it's got be a falcons oh the og one with the black helmet there's nothing wrong with black or red helmet nothing i like the black helmet i think man but either way it's a million times

better than what they've had in the last 20 some years. Oh, you know what? Actually, the Jets. Ooh. Just go back to Kishon Johnson Jets. That's cool. It's like really, it's like green under your hat. Kelly Green.

Yeah. And they're just clean and the helmets. I'm sick of like matte helmets too. I just like a normal ass, like shiny. Yeah. Just the, yeah, bro. Just be the Jets. Be the Jets again.

Yeah, I'd say, I'd say Falcons with the black jerseys white pants. They were just old. Black jersey's white pants. with the switching between the black and red helmet with the classic falcon bird and then my second would be the Eagles Kelly Green. Yeah, those are nice.

All right. Last one from Mary Alice. Mary Alice Ball, hey, boys, started listening to your podcast after Ben was on Hannah Burner's podcast. Hey, you two made me laugh out loud at my desk and although I am a female, the sports segments where you say all the ladies have stopped listening are some of my favorites. Nice. They've stopped listening episodes ago. My question for you is would you ever join the Bill's Mafia

because I think your energy would vibe with us well. Go bills. Slap my ass like a QB slapping receiver's ass after a touchdown. Okay, nice. Damn, that's a tough. That's a stinger. That slap right there. I would love to go to a game in Buffalo.

I agree the tailgate would be awesome. Game would be sweet. Love Buffalo wings. That's probably my favorite food. So definitely want to check those out. Is that what they do? What do you mean? Like the, like Buffalo, but like they have wings a lot?

Yeah, Buffalo is like known for having like just the best wings. I thought that, okay. I thought I made that up in my head or something, but it's a real thing. I like how crazy there are. How they like light shit on fire and jump on tables. And they're like the originators of it. So that's cool. Everybody else who does it now, you're like, you're trying to be Bill's Mafia.

And Mafia, the name? Who's not? So I would love to go, Mary Alice. We would love to go. But like my Steelers allegiances, you know, like I can just like switch over like that, you know. Bin's upper grabs. So maybe him. Right.

Yeah, I'm a free agent. I could be Bill's Mafia. But I kind of feel like I'd be jumping. on because it's too cool to just join all a sudden. Bill's Mafia, Benny. I would have run that shit. I'd have two dislocated shoulders and like those

Zuba, the Zubaz pants. Those pants are sick. I like that. Yeah. And they all just wear that to the game. They're like, whatever. Yeah, it's 19. All of them. It's negative 19 degrees. Let's watch the bills. I think that they should do like the Colorado buffaloes and they should just let a fucking bill

just run on the field. A buffalo. Like after touchdown, something shit, just let it run. Yeah, no NFL teams are really on that. See what happens. Yeah, I don't know. There's not too many live mascots in the NFL. We had any horses or anything coming out?

You would think. Hey, Colts. Broncos? There's got to be a white horse. I don't think they ride it out like that, though. Why not? The NFL probably has like a weird rule. They don't want like PETA to come after him or something.

Like how the eagle's not having an actual eagle fucking fly in. Yeah, you're right. Somebody would shoot that out of this guy. Whoever the Eagles are playing, dude. You know that bird's going. Even the bingles, like having a giant fucking bingle tiger out there. An actual tiger on the field, yeah. Come on.

A Viking. Get on college football's level. Get a real Viking. Yeah. Go over Sweden or wherever. Find his ass. Get a buccaneer. Get a fucking pirate.

Get a pirate on the field. That would be fine. What's so hard about it? An actual pirate, dude. Just stealing from everyone. What else? What else though? Hold on.

Hey, New York. Get a fucking giant. Why can't you find one? Why can't you find one? Has a huge club over his shoulder. Fucking the field up. Get a giant. They don't even have them play.

Yeah, the only thing that's... They don't have them play. The only... Can't throw him a left tackle? The only thing that people do, like the cowboys have a bunch of those dudes wearing jeep. Blue jeans in the end zone. They do. They have like the dudes

We're in the blue jeans in the end zone With like the lassoes And then the Patriots have those old guys With the fucking jackets on And the fake muskets So you do it with people They don't do with animals Come on

Get a cowboy already What's so hard? All right Can we keep going? I want to but I think our time is up All right TG new one Week 2 new one

See you at the laugh factory tonight Man that's sick dude, that's big. You got to get a photo with a background of it and post it because that's big. We'll see. We'll see. It'll probably be from someone's weird iPhone. Like front facing too.

But all right. Laugh Factory for Ben, Tuesday night and really in LA the whole week. Yeah. Me in Nashville on Wednesday at Zanis. Tickets all available in the show notes and in our bios. Yeah. All right.

Next week. We'll talk to you. Hey, grab some merch too. Benaddigmerch.com. These guys. Cool. Bye. Bye.

but Williams Ricky.